InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The difference of Martrys and murderers ❯ Conclusion of a hurting heart ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: This work is fan fiction and was not meant to infringe on anyone's right or ownership. Inuyasha and it respective counterparts are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. By no means am I making any money off of this. Thank you. However the concepts are from the dark twisted depths of my tortured soul. Enjoy.

AN: Man this has been long in coming! I hope you are not too upset with me. After all I think I need a little credit for actually posting a chapter since I can only use on ONE FRICKIN FINGER! Long story summed up in two words- bad accident. Don't fret! I'm not dead and live and kickin!

As for stuff that is related to the story. Some people have been complaining about Sess treatment of Kagome. Sorry but its not all smiles and roses if you really think about it. Sesshoumaru is a stoic and antisocial demon and Kagome is a perky teenager girl and it will take time for them to build a bond of some sort. I really want to keep the characters in characters therefore I refuse to be like those other fic writers that makes Sess so sickeningly whohah and lovely-dovey and have Kagome totally overlook her hookups on Inuyasha. Then again, maybe I like the tension between the two! 0.o;;; Hehehehe, anyway in the following chapters Sess will soften up on the girl, maybe even some bodily bonding *wink wink*, and then that character death I mentioned before. I bet you can't guess who it is! ^.~

Anyway, even though my goal is keep it IC expect some OOC anyway. Esp. from our dear Inu Youkai. There maybe a few errors. I seemed to have lost my betas : (

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They had settled into the water. Kagome sighed loudly as she let her tired body relax. Every muscle and every joint seemed to rejoice. Rin just laughed at Kagome's comical face.

"This is delicious!" Kagome moaned. She floated semi-upright in the water. Rin was waddling near the shore. "Talk about slave driver! I mean I'm used to walking, but today! Man my legs feel like jello!" Kagome open an eye and asked bemused, "What's your secret Rin, how can you put up with him?"

Rin shrugged her shoulders as she moved her arms in the water creating slow back and forth waves, "I don't know. I just do." She looked up and smiled at Kagome, "Its not like I have a choice, do I?" She finished with a wry smile.

Kagome laughed. Rin was something else. She may look like a kid but she was smart and witty. "Yeah, I suppose your right."

"Kagome?" Rin asked.

Kagome made a 'hmmm?' noise.

"How come you don't like Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin asked seriously. She stared long and hard at Kagome.

Kagome turned away to admire the moon. Sometimes, like now, the girl sure unnerved her. The little girl's eyes didn't belong to a child. There was this eerie awareness about the girl. It kind of reminded Kagome of her Grandfather. He had that look; of one who had went through a lot and experience many things. It made her sad to see that in someone so young.

"It's kind of hard to like someone like him." Kagome said after awhile.

"What do you mean?" Rin swam closer. She was curious as to why Kagome disliked her Sesshoumaru. He was strong and powerful. He made your hurts and fears go away. He was all that was good in a cruel world. So why did her friend fear Sesshoumaru so much?

"He's." Kagome trailed off. This was going to be difficult. She looked at the girl whose world revolved around the inu-youkai. What was she supposed to say? Hey kid, I hate to break to you but your idol is a narcissistic homicidal asshole. Yeah, right. "He's too much of a stranger to me." Kagome finished lamely.

Before Rin could ask another question, Kagome dunked underwater. It was a full moon tonight, even so, the water below was dark and murky. It was perfect. Kagome just needed some alone time with her thoughts. She loved being with Rin, but there were moments she wished to be by herself. That's all she needed, some space and time to think- alone. If it wasn't with Rin it was Sesshoumaru where she never could think clearly.

Like always, she was plagued by one question. As each day that passed, the enormity of the question increased. What exactly had Sesshoumaru planned for her? What use was she to him? With Inuyasha, the answer was simple; she was the jewel detector, plain and simple. But with Sesshoumaru things were always more complex and mysterious. The jewel was completed and presently dormant and he never desired its powers, of that she was sure. So what other use was she?

Caregiver was clearly out. Jaken was more then capable of that job. It was obvious he didn't pick her for her so-called Miko powers, which were still untrained and unpredictable. A 'consort' was even more out of the question. Any notion that Sesshoumaru desired her was absurd! He made her every waking moment a living hell. Before she could get depressed she redirect her current question of why.

Before she could ask that she had to go back. Back to their first encounter. It would bring a better understand to her current situation.

It happen not too long after Inuyasha and her first real battle over the Shikon no Tama. It was after the fight with Yura of the Hair. That was also when Inuyasha finally called her by her name. Even to this day, despite all ill feelings, that moment always warmed her heart. Talk about hearts, hers was pounding painful from the lack of oxygen.

Kagome resurfaced with a flourish. She took a deep breath. Kagome then turned to Rin, "Since the water isn't too hot, I'm going to go for a quick swim. Stay here okay?"

Rin nodded. She was too busy trying to make a fountain with the force of her cupped hands. Once sure the girl was okay, Kagome floated away. She wasn't going too far out, of course, but just enough where she could swim with out hitting any of the boulders.

She resumed her train of thoughts. Inuyasha and she had started out on their journey when Sesshoumaru pulled that dirty trick and deceived Inuyasha. During their confrontation, Sesshoumaru had given her a strange look. For the life of her, she couldn't decipher the emotions that swirled in his eyes. Then he went on and ridiculed Inuyasha about having a human companion. "Why, it's a human girl." he said it with sarcastic amusement. Kagome gritted her teeth at the memory. No one had ever made her feel beneath dirt then that moment.

The brothers continued their bickering, which evidently led to their father's tomb, via Inuyasha's black pearl in his eye. More snide remarks as they both tried for the sword. Both, embarrassingly enough failed. Some how, Kagome was able to pull Tetsusaiga free. The look of pure shock on Sesshoumaru's face was priceless. She was fortunate to see it twice. The second time being when she survived his toxic flower attack. From then on, she dreaded his presence even after they won the fight and he had left with one less arm.

Their second encounter happen when Sesshoumaru had a fleeting partnership with Naraku. He had taken the coveted sword with the use of a shard enchanced human arm. Whenever she was around him Kagome always seemed to feel extreme emotions. She could never forget the terror she felt as Sesshoumaru prepared to deliver the killing blow on Inuyasha. Without thinking she shot the demon lord with her enchanted arrow. Even though he nearly beaten Inuyasha within an inch of his life, Kagome couldn't pull herself together to kill their attacker. Her hesitation nearly got them both killed.

In her mind's eye she could see Sesshouamru charging at her, fully intent on killing her. At that instant she actually understood his beauty was also a deadly weapon. She wondered how many others thought the same thing before being slain? It's an oxymoron to think that someone so handsome isn't dangerous. As usual, Inuyasha saved her by intercepting him.

Inuyasha had spilt so much blood protecting me, and how do I repay him? By turning my back on him. only to join up with our enemy. Even forsaking my promise. all for what?

Kagome tried her hardest to ignore her heart's voice. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't deny the truth. "Stop it. Don't think of that now. That's not important." Kagome said aloud. In time she would go over her feeling for Inuyasha but not now. Right now she had to remember and think of the clues as to why Sesshoumaru wanted to keep her.

Their third meeting began with the customary fight for the sword. This time around Kagome noticed something different about Sesshoumaru. The sting in his taunts was reduced. Something had changed about him, as if he was a little more reflective. During his onslaught on Tetsusaiga, he seemed distracted. There was a brief moment where she saw Sesshoumaru give Inuyasha an approving glance right before Inuyasha unleashed Tetsusaiga's wind scar. On the sidelines Kagome watched as the blast hit Sesshoumaru head on. Upon reflection Kagome had to admit she was somewhat disappointed that he had fallen so easily.

Their next meeting came when he acquired Tokijin made from Goshinki's fang. For a few seconds she thought she saw Sesshoumaru look worried as Inuyasha was almost consumed by his demon blood. A few days had past and Sesshoumaru had come upon them again. Inuyasha was once again possessed by his demon blood and was going on a killing spree. The brother's fought but this time around Inuyasha was beaten. The utter display of control and power made Kagome uneasy. She came to the conclusion that Sesshoumaru was holding a lot back when dealing with Inuyasha. But why? He further confused her when he did not slay Inuyasha after knocking him out. Kagome used her body as a shield over the unconscious hanyou. He paused as he looked down at her, a flicker of emotion passing through his usually cruel eyes.

That look. He also gave her that look when he resurrected her. She couldn't describe it or tell what it meant. It was a mixture of sorrow, contemplation and understanding. Whatever it was, it disturbed her greatly.

Kagome swam the entire perimeter of the hot spring but no closer to her goal. The only clue she had was that it involved Inuyasha. Maybe Sesshoumaru was using her to get back at Inuyasha. That was good an answer as any at the moment. Rin looked bored as she wadded around the shallow areas. She immediately perked up when Kagome returned.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting," Kagome said as she swam up to the other.

"It's okay," Rin said. "I'm used to being left alone. Rin is a big girl!"

Kagome smiled. She was about to say something when raised voices were heard. She let her spiritual awareness expand. Youkai. many youkais were near by, but why? Not only that but their presence felt familiar. She turned to the girl. "It's not safe here. we better get back to camp."

Rin blinked her bright brown eyes in confusion. However she did hurry out of the water and into her clothes. Kagome didn't have time to fully dry off when she heard the unmistakable sounds of fighting. In the distance she heard the ground groan and trees being turned into wood chips. Then realization hit. The presence she felt. it was Kouga!

She hasty threw on her Yukata and grabbed Rin's hand. Both girls quietly ran back to camp. Kagome stopped behind a large slab of rock, where she told Rin to stay, before running into the fray. Rin watched wide eye as Kouga barely dodged the acid whip. The tree behind him exploded from the impact. Kouga charged with a roundhouse kick but he didn't even get within range of hitting his opponent. Not even after the attack was executed, Sesshoumaru was behind him and was about to rip out his heart with his glowing green hand.

"Stop!" Kagome screamed.

Everyone fell silent as they all looked at the panting and dripping wet girl. Kouga was dumbstruck as he looked her up and down. The new members of Kouga's tribe also gave her an appreciative stare. Oblivious to the leering, Kagome ran up to Sesshoumaru.

"Please stop!" Kagome pleaded. She was also trying to regain her breath. Sesshoumaru looked down at her coldly. She could tell he was not at all pleased that she interrupted his fight.

Rin peeped over the rock with fear at seeing so many wolves. She started to get scared. Sesshoumaru picked up on her fearful scent. He looked over at Jaken and his servant got his meaningful gaze. The retainer quietly slipped away to Rin and gently took her away from the fight. Soon Sesshoumaru sense Jaken taking her somewhere safe. He came back to the present situation. Every thing was falling into place as planned.

Trying not to be distracted by her heaving breasts beneath the clingy material or how the water droplets slid down her smooth long legs, Kouga cleared his throat. "Kagome."

Slowly she turned around to look at him. Kouga was almost overcome with awe. She looked absolutely beautiful and so vulnerable standing there shivering against the breeze. Her wet hair fell in wavy slick tendrils around her face. The fire highlighted one side of her face while the other side was bathe in the milky glow of the moon. The water drops clinging to her skin looked more like tiny diamonds. A low hungry growl erupted from his lips.

At this time, Sesshoumaru maneuvered himself in front of Kagome. A very dark energy was radiating off of him. Full of malice and violence. Being so near Sesshoumaru in this state made her ill. She took a step back but found that she was restrained with the fluffy tail. Any movements to wiggle free only made its grip tighten.

Kouga's lust driven mind cleared seeing Kagome in duress. He growled menacing at Sesshoumaru. Kouga firmly planted his feet in the ground and flexed his fists. "Let her go!"

"Why?" Sesshoumaru equally demanded.

The challenge slightly caught the wolf youkai off guard. "Because damn it, that's MY woman!"

"I will not repeat myself again. This human belongs to this Sesshoumaru. No other." Sesshoumaru stated with finality. Before Kagome could protest on their claims of ownership, the tail curled tighter, leaving her gasping for air.

Kouga could feel the mounting power flowing off the other like heat. His instincts told him to back out and come back at a later time. However, seeing Kagome wincing under the crushing hold made him waiver. Just this once he was willing to ignore base intuition. Power he never knew he had surge into his blood. To hell with everything! He was going to take Kagome away from that beast.

Like a battle cry he shouted her name as he leap into the attack. Sesshoumaru disengaged himself from Kagome. The rapid movement of the tail unfurling sent her spinning. She fell twirling onto the ground with a thump. She tried to right herself but the brisk movement made her land on her feet the wrong way. The sharp pain was over looked as her lungs burned for more air. She looked up from the ground. It was hard distinguishing attack techniques with her human eyes. It just appeared like two humanoid beasts attacking each other. Their movements blurred, not only by speed but also by passing debris.

She felt some thing moist land on her cheek. Too distracted watching what was going on, she just wiped it off. When it happen it again, she took the time to inspect her hand. There was a rusty color of red streaked across her palm. There was no mistaking what it was. She had a sinking feeling that it was Kouga's blood.

She closed her eyes tightly. The crazy idiot. he was no match for Inuyasha, what made him think he could win against Sesshoumaru? This stupid fight was about her and if he died, there was no way she could forgive herself. She had to do something.

Rising to her feet despite the sharp sting in her ankle, she glared at the two blurred bodies. "That is enough!" Her own anger flaring over her anxiety and weariness. The dog and wolf demon paused to look at the glowering girl. They could see her shake with suppressed anger, and in their youkai vision they could see her glow a dim purple and every so often the color brighten.

"You two are acting like children fighting over a toy!" She reprimanded. "And Damn it I'm not a Toy! Or a possession! Or a fucking slave for that matter!" Her own vehemence startled her. The other two were slightly taken back, more in shock then fear. "And for heaven sakes I don't belong to either of you."

Kouga looked at her in surprised hurt. Why was she yelling at him for? Didn't she know he was here to rescue her? As for Sesshoumaru, he straighten slowly, the exasperation very evident in his eyes. It became clear to her that neither one grasped her meaning. They were so set in their ways and thinking. It was like asking them to fart a rainbow. Kagome sighed dramatically. There had to be another way about dealing with this. Yelling, scolding or threatening them wasn't going to get them to stop fighting. Then again, maybe calmly talking about it might. It was so crazy enough to work.

She bit back the whimper as she tried her hardest not to limp towards them. "Please stop fighting. It's pointless. We are all civilize beings capable of reasoning, right?" She asked them, but her question was more or less directed at Sesshoumaru. He stared at her with a hint of animosity.

"This matter is between us, girl," Sesshoumaru said smoothly.

She knew he was baiting her, so she had to refrain from acting brashly. Her eyebrow twitched, but she managed to say calmly, "If you two insist on fighting over me, which is really pointless, then I have every right to intervene." When no one tried to contradict her, she continued. "Let's sit by the fire and talk. It's cold." Kagome shivered.

Kouga gave a nod to his pack, and they all disperse. They kept looking back worriedly. Especially his two loyal comrades. Once everyone was gone then the two rivals relax their guard. It was just the three of them now. Kouga's clear sky blue eyes brighten as Kagome walked toward him. She smiled, and he offered her an arm as he led her to the fire. Sesshoumaru waited for Kouga and Kagome to sit down before joining them. They both sat beside her, on each side about two feet apart.

It was far too close for her comfort though; perhaps she was feeling this way because her lack of clothing. She pulled the excess fabric over legs, which wasn't much- it only reached her thighs. After all it was meant for Rin but since it didn't fit her yet, it was given to Kagome. She tried not to let their closeness make her nervous and distract her at was at hand.

She stared at her hands that held the hem of her yakuta. Where to begin? She glanced at Sesshoumaru. He was staring at her. She looked away quickly. She hated it when he looked at her like that. It made her feel like a worm dangling from a fishing hook.

She glanced at Kouga. He was staring at her breasts. A deep flush swept through her. She "ahem!" loudly. His eyes snapped up to her face. She gave him a stern frown. He knew that from this point on, if she caught him staring he might get reacquainted with her hand.

"So." Kagome spoke slowly. She was still trying to formulate a course of action. "Kouga what brings you here?" She said with an uneasy smile. It was a no-brainer why he was here but she need to stall so she could come up with a persuasive way to get him to leave. The prospect of leaving with him was tempting. He offered her love, a place of belonging and protection. However, he did not offer her the key that could get her home. Her real home that is. All that she had been through with Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, well, she wasn't going to let her suffering go to waste.

Kouga grew solemn as he stared at her. "I know what you did and why."

Those mere words stirred bile and self-loathing in her. She looked away from his thoughtful caring eyes. She didn't want him to see her shame, her guilt and her general hideousness. She meekly played with her sash and the knot at her waist.

"Oh." She whispered.

He tried to reach out for her hand but the barely audible rumble from Sesshoumaru made him reconsider. He dropped his hands in his laps limply. He really wanted to hold her but a fight between him and the other dog turd would get Kagome hurt. Kouga just had to settle with being near her instead.

"Kagome. why didn't you come to me?" He asks earnestly. There was a hint of hurt there too.

Kagome closed her eyes. She let out a remorseful sigh. She looked back at him and said nothing. He understood then. Her silence said it all. He nodded and continued, "I'm here to take you back with me. I just can't let you stay with this bastard. It's too dangerous."

Kagome stared at the roaring blaze of the fire. A breeze swept low and washed over her still wet form. She shivered uncontrollably but when the cloak of warmth surrounded her, her eyes snapped over to Sesshoumaru. He was still as a statue as he stared at the fire. His expression fixed and unwavering. She was confused as to why he had lent her the warmth of his tail.

That little act made the tension in the air increase. Kagome could feel Kouga's demon aura thicken with malice. Before she could defuse the situation, Sesshoumaru's cold and yet authoritative voice filled the air.

"No harm has come to her while she has been in my custody." He then turned to the wolf Youkai. Perhaps it was the trick of light or the dancing flames but his face appeared more menacing and yet calmly wicked. The gold iris' reflecting and absorbing the color of the fire. "I will not allow it." He looked away and back to the fire. "Dangerous, you say. Of what danger do you speak of?" There was a glimmer of a smile. It sent shivers down Kouga's back.

Kouga glared at the other. He was so fucking nonchalant and self-assured that it made him sick. But he knew the real reason he was upset. It had to do with the fact that this other demon terrified him. That also gave him more reason to get Kagome away from him at all cost. Sesshoumaru was clever, of that he was sure.

Kouga snarled, "Who else dogshit! I was talking about you smartass!"

Kagome grew apprehensive, as Sesshoumaru didn't respond quickly. Kouga waited nervously for a reaction. Instead the dog demon laughed startling them. It sent another shiver through Kagome and Kouga, not from the cold but from sheer dread.

"Such bold words from a coward." He grew stern again. Kagome was experiencing intense disgust and anger. She soon realizes that these were fathom emotions, and that they belonged to Sesshoumaru. The link between them became stronger. Although he never let on to what he thought or felt, she knew he was allowing her a glimpse into his being.

He continued with a condescending tone, "I killed hundreds of thousands of men but I never preyed on the weak and defenseless. There is no honor in that." His pupils narrowed into slits. "I'm only dangerous to my enemies." The underlying meaning of enemy hit Kouga like an arrow to the heart.

Kagome frowned. This bit of news troubled her because it messed with her concept of him being the perfect killing machine. To be perfectly honest, she never heard of him slaying innocent villagers or random people. Occasionally her group had come across slaughtered armies or bandits with the telltale signs of Sesshoumaru's signature but never on the massacred villages.

She glanced at Kouga. She had however come across ghostly villages that Kouga and his pack left behind. She closed her eyes as the remembrance made her ill. How many countless hours had she and her friends spent burying body after body? Could she ever forget their open maws screaming out in terror or how their sightless eyes were fixed in fear?

And didn't Rin say earlier that she had died once? She was killed by a pack of youkai wolves? Kagome could remember asking Rin about the half moon scars scattered all over her tiny body. It had happen during their second bath together when more light was present that she noticed them. She could almost recall how Rin shuddered and how her lively face fell to that of a hollowed expression as she muttered one word: wolves.

Kagome looked at Kouga in a new enlightenment. It broke her heart when she put the two together. Rin was from that same village when she first encountered Kouga. He saw Kagome's expression of shock then distrust.

Kouga grew angry. That asshole was trying to make him look bad! He glared at the Inu Youkai, "Don't pull your fucking holier then thou shit on me! You're ruthless and care for nothing! Honor my ass! If it suited you, you would sacrifice Kagome in a heartbeat." That last part hit a nerve in Sesshoumaru and before any one could blink Sesshoumaru pinned Kouga to the ground with enough force to embed him into the dirt. Kagome leapt into action.

"No! Lord Sesshoumaru stop! Please stop!" Kagome cried as she tugged on his arm. "Please don't kill him!"

The wind was knock out of him, but Kouga recuperated. The impact broke a few of his ribs, and one the bones had punctured his lung. Blood was dribbling out of his lips as he smiled at Sesshoumaru. The mighty lord messed up. Now he was showing his true colors like the murderous beast he was.

"I may be a killer but I would never harm Kagome. I love her." Kouga said confidently.

"So did Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru kept his voice low so Kagome couldn't hear. "Don't kid yourself. Soon the novelty effect will past and you will forget about her. Humans after all fade too quickly." He let go and sat back. Kagome was stressed out by all the dramatics. She helped Kouga sit up but returned to sit by Sesshoumaru's side, to keep a better eye on him.

"Please no more fighting," Kagome pleaded.

"Kagome why can't you see it? He's using you. He's a heartless monster!" Kouga said through gritted teeth. "You know this!" Kagome's brow furrowed as she contemplated what he was saying. Yes, she knew Sesshoumaru was using her but what could she do? She wanted to go home and see her family so bad that she was willing to risk her life for it. She looked to Kouga, trying her hardest to convey that she had no choice. She looked at Sesshoumaru and realized that he set her up. He was forcing her to finalize her fate. Forcing her to stay with him.

Tears sprung to her eyes, "Kouga of what you say may be true." He was about to interrupt her but she held up her hand to halt him. "But it doesn't change the fact that I made an agreement with Lord Sesshoumaru."

"Kagome-" Again he was cut off by a firm shake of her head.

"You may think he's a monster but he isn't. After all, he gave me another chance at life and for that I must repay him." Kagome was now crying. "I'm sorry Kouga but I can't leave with you." She wiped her eyes, suddenly aware that she was letting her captor see her weakness. With feign strength she didn't feel she looked up at Kouga. Her resolve firm and unyeilding.

"Kouga you say you love me, but you barely know me."

"I do love you!" Kouga look indignant.

Kagome gave a half smile, "Alright then. If you love me that much, then you must respect my decision."

Kouga's face fell. That was it. There was nothing else he could do. Kagome made up her mind. She was going to stay. with him. there was nothing he could. He gathered his wits and the broken pieces that was his heart. He gave a curt nod. Kouga stood up and left, not once looking back. Kagome was thoughtful before she came to a conclusion, then she got up. The tail that was still around her tighten and locked her in place.

She glanced back at her master.

"I'm not leaving." She said.

"For both your sakes, you had better not. You have undoubtedly pledged yourself to me not only by saying so but also having another witness it. This Sesshoumaru will hold you to it." The air between them grew colder that not even his tail could fend off.

"I understand. Please. let me say my farewell." Kagome asked softly. He didn't say anything but loosen his grip and that was good an answer as any.

Kagome careful bounded off after Kouga but she had to be mindful of her injured ankle. He was taking long strides. His back was rigid as he marched on. It was a bit difficult but she managed to find him.

"Kouga," Kagome called to him. He hesitated but didn't stop. Kagome gave an exasperated sigh as she limped faster to catch up. "Kouga please wait."

"Why?" He snapped over his shoulder. He kept walking.

At last she caught up and latched up onto one of his hands. "Kouga."

He stopped. He closed his eyes and pressed a few fingers to his forehead in attempt to ease his metal turmoil. It was too dark to see his face in the caliginous forest. She could barely make out his body against the shadows. She limped forward to stand before him. "Kouga please listen to me."

"I heard enough Kagome." He said gruffly. He was grateful for the darkness so that she could not see his face that was twisted in grief. He wanted to sound angry and upset but he could never do that to Kagome. He left yelling up to Inuyasha, that damn dog turd. He was the cause for this whole mess.

She tried to see his face but it was just too damn dark! Where eyes couldn't, she let her hands do the job. Kouga closed his eyes and let the wave of tranquillity swipe through him as her tender hands touched and caress his face. He nuzzled her hand and kissed the fleshy mound of her palm.

"Kagome," he breathed her name like a prayer.

"I'm so sorry Kouga." Kagome careful embraced him. She rested her head on his chest. "I'm so sorry." She began to cry. She really was sorry. She knew he did love her. After all these years he still cared for her. She felt horrible leading him on like she did. She was angry at her self for not being able to return his affection, but most of all she was appalled with herself for hurting him so many times. The disappointment must have been murder on his heart.

He returned her embrace. He rested his cheek on her head. Dear gods, how he longed to hold her like this! He didn't care what Sesshoumaru said. He would never forget or get over Kagome. It was love at first fight. He could never forget how her eyes glittered as she slapped him. Sure it stung but it didn't matter. The fire in her eyes and that willful spirit, he knew she was the one. Forget youkai and ningen taboos, he wanted her.

But she didn't want him.

So he had to settle for this. He careful stroked her hair and her back. He listened to her heartbeat 'thump' rhythmically. The sweet fragrance that was her true essence he cherished. But most of all he savored her nearness.

Kagome enjoyed this as well. How long had it been since someone held her like this? Far too long, she mused. She couldn't help it. She was a human girl that needed love and affection. To be held and cherished and made to feel special. Maybe if they. Kagome's heart came to sudden halt.

She couldn't for one second entertain the idea of running away with him. She shouldn't even be thinking about it. If she did, she was sure both of them were good as dead. Sesshoumaru would have it no other way. That's why she had to end this here before the temptation became too great.

Kouga was disappointed when she pulled away. "Good bye Kouga. Take care of yourself."

"No. don't let it end this way Kagome." He said. It was his turn to stroke her face.

"What other way is there to end it?" She asked.

He bent down and kissed her passionately. He pulled away with a bittersweet grin. "I can wait a little longer Kagome. When you fulfilled your duty and you have no where else to go, understand that there is always room in my pack for you. You don't even have to be my mate. Having you as a friend will be enough for me." He sighed as he cupped her face. "I can wait."

She couldn't see his face but every so often his eyes caught the light of the moon. It reflected back a dazzling blue, but almost made Kagome painfully aware that they did not belong to a man but a wild creature. Nevertheless she was touch by his words. She gave him a quick kiss before leaving.

As soon as she was gone, Kouga said to the wind, "Goodbye Kagome, my heart, my love." He knew then that she would never be his. With a heavy heart he went home.

To be continue!

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