InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The difference of Martrys and murderers ❯ Conditioning ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or other characters.

AN: Since Ty and Munkey just left I will carry on from here. Don't know if that's a good or bad thing yet. Be assured I will only write the very best your entertainment. If you have suggestions, feel free to e-mail me at cocobonk@touchmyinfection.com. Wow, 15 reveiws. The most I have ever gotten. *wipes happy tear away* That's just awesome. Just for that, the next chapter will be juicy, no doubt. Thanks. Once again I would like to thank Isis for being a great Beta! Couldn't have done it with out ya : )

Chapter 4

Inuyasha's search wasn't bringing in the results he wanted. For the millionth time he cursed himself. This was his entire fault! He should have known something was up when Sesshoumaru's presence increased in the last few months. There was no way that was a fluke. Now Kagome was in Sesshoumaru's grasp. If his history with Sesshoumaru taught him anything, it was that his older half brother was one sadistic bastard.

It had been 10 days since they left. The gods only knew what tortures his Kagome was enduring. It all came back to him. If only he had been a little more honest with her, then perhaps Kagome would've stayed.

She had it all wrong and he didn't blame her.

It was an accident. He didn't mean to wish for Kikyou to come back. When Kagome didn't react adversely, he thought it was okay. He was an idiot. Of course Kagome was hurt! For his sake, she remained silent about her true feelings.

Then Sesshoumaru pounced on that opportunity. Just like Naraku.

This time however, he wasn't going to lose her. He couldn't! He had come this far with her by his side and he wasn't about to start without her.

First things first, he had to come clean with her. To tell Kagome why he had to see Kikyou. Although it wasn't in his nature to be all feely-touchy about his emotions, somehow he knew that was the only way Kagome would listen.

He would have to explain to her that he just couldn't leave Kikyou out there. Not in her current state. They all claimed she was a clay doll. That wasn't true. If only they looked into her eyes they could see the flicker of life that burned there.

That light burn for him. He tried to look away, to ignore her. He couldn't do it because he brought her back. He had a responsibility to her. This Kikyou was more like her former self. She didn't hate him and understood his situations. That brief intelligence came and went. Then she would roam where ever with out a thought. He often had to go after her to make sure she didn't get into trouble. On his trips, he didn't think Kagome knew. He had been lying to himself to ease his own guilt.

What could have been going through her mind at those times? He didn't want to think about it. All the possibilities were frightening. So he just played it off as nothing.

Of course something like this never stays simple. After awhile Inuyasha had a feeling that something was up. He could never put his finger on it. He would always have a headache after visiting Kikyou. He also took into account the great passing of time. Like always, when he went over these thoughts, he'd get confused.

Inuyasha pounded his head. He had to focus on Kagome right now! He had been traveling for days. Inuyasha stopped in his tracks as he caught a familiar scent. He groaned in frustration, as the Wolf leader Kouga appeared on the horizon.

They had a stand off. One was watching the other with disdain, and the other glaring in contempt. Kouga stood straighter and found a tree to lean on. Inuyasha took it as a sign that he was willing to talk. He went over.

"Where's Kagome?" Kouga said. For the first time, Inuyasha wasn't greeted with an insult. Kouga's pack members sat nearby them, watching.

Inuyasha looked away, "I don't know." The tension in the air increased.

Kouga eased himself into a standing position. The wind ruffled his bangs as he starred at the other. "What do you mean you don't know!"

"She's gone! She left with Sesshoumaru." Inuyasha snapped.

"You let her leave with that homicidal maniac!" Kouga yelled. There was a murmur among the wolf clan. They whispered of the poor girl's fate. A few even shook their head, almost sure the girl was dead. Kouga only needed two encounters with the Aristocratic Assassin to understand his haunting power. Death was never far behind when it came to that Inu-Youkai.

"Leave it to a dog to mess it up!" Kouga spat in Inuyasha's direction. "What did you do anyway, runt? Why is it that Kagome wanted to get away from you so much she left with your brother?"

"Half-brother!" Inuyasha grounded up. His fist was balled at his sides. "I didn't do anything!"

"Kagome wasn't crying for nothing when I picked her up," Kouga fold his arms. His tail bristled up. "You did something!" He tilted his chin up arrogantly.

Inuyasha looked away. That night. Right now he couldn't really remember. What happen that night anyway? He left Kagome after lunch. He went to visit Kikyou. Around midnight he caught the scent of his brother and Kagome's blood. For the life of him, he couldn't remember what happen in that time with Kikyou.

Kikyou… Kagome was upset about Kikyou. She never was before.

Then Sesshoumaru…

Inuyasha rubbed his temple. That damnable headache! "I don't have time for this." Inuyasha took off in a different direction. Kouga ran into his path to halt him.

"Where did he take my woman?" He said. This time he was serious.

"I don't know!" Inuyasha said that as he side stepped his rival. "Kagome isn't your woman. She's no one's woman."

"Sesshoumaru is lord of the western lands, where is his palace?" Kouga grabbed the other's shoulder to halt him.

"He doesn't stay there," Inuyasha shrugged off the hand. "He never stays there for very long."

Kouga growled and turned to his pack. "Let's go." Kouga intentionally pushed Inuyasha out of his way roughly. In a matter or seconds the group was gone.

Inuyasha cursed his luck. He couldn't do it all by himself. He had to get the other's help. Inuyasha did something he wasn't normally used to. He went to ask for assistance. He took off in the direction of Keade's village. He hoped that Miroku and Sango were still there.

While Inuyasha searched for her, Kagome was busy trying to adjust in her new living environment. It had been a whole ten days living with Sesshoumaru. Damn, I did it again. I meant Master Sesshoumaru. Kagome opened her eyes to the new day. She could feel a piece of herself fall away the longer she stayed here. It was like being split in two if you will. For Rin she tried her best to be happy and cheerful. However as soon as the night fell, she became Master Sesshoumaru's new toy. She had become night and day.

Locked away in a high mountain fortress, there was no escape. Beyond the entrance, was a sheer drop off of 200 hundred feet. Not only that but her master had trained monster's to guard the grounds. Overhead predatory animals were constantly on the look out for a tasty meal.

Kagome often contemplated what was worse. Being lost out there where freedom reigned or locked inside with the Demon. It was hard to decide. Here she lived in relative safety and all her needs were met. Never once did Master Sesshoumaru physically punish her, although he did keep her on a strict diet. His methods of torture were dealt on the psychological level.

She dreaded the night. As soon as Rin was asleep, he came for her. He put her through rigorous workouts, often wearing her down to the point of exhaustion. If she met his expectation, he would feed her while she recited the code of conduct. If he was in a good mood, he even let her drink some wine with her meal. For being good, he gave rewards such as jewelry, snacks or let her visit his library.

When she displeased him, that was another story. He would lock her in the room. Sleep and food were taken away. When in the state sensory deprivement, Jaken came in and had her repeat all of her past mistakes to their Lord. When she forgot one, Jaken would cruelly remind her and mock her for forgetting them. This was all done under Master Sesshoumaru's scrutiny.

After the humiliation, Sesshoumaru-sama would reprimand her for her failure. When her spirits couldn't get any lower, he would dismiss Jaken and pull her aside. Calmly he would tell her that she had potential. His speeches often followed the lines that he could make her stronger if only she listen and obey.

His voice, so powerful with the lilting quality that only he could manage. "If you desire strength, listen well and follow these simple rules put before you. Prove to me that you are worthy of my assistance." Then he would lower his voice for their ears to hear; "Only I can make you stronger."

The first time she heard it, the whole speech sounded corny. As time went on, it started to make sense. Humans were indeed weak and frail. She was weak and frail, in comparison to Sesshoumaru's awesome power. He was the strongest Youkai in all the lands. When she started to believe his words, the bells of warning started to sound off. If she began to let the words sink in, there was no way to stop this downward spiral.

Each day was a battle for her mind. All she had left was her will to survive but even that was slowly ebbing. The part of her that wasn't brought so low by Lord Sesshoumaru, was the tangible need to prove him wrong. Yes, she was weak but that didn't necessarily mean she was worthless. As far as frailty went, that was only her physical limitations. Over the course of shard hunting, she learned that being clever and resourceful often was better then straight out violence.

Kagome found each day an opportunity to show that arrogant Youkai she wasn't some helpless ningen in his hold. She kept herself busy by cleaning religiously. Giving Rin the best care she knew how to provide. She would cook delicious meals and preformed the tea ceremony with grace. She even went so far as to help Jaken once in a while. She did just about every thing to make Sesshoumaru comfortable. It wasn't for his sake, but hers. She had to get on his good side.

Right now, however, she was tuckered out. Nothing could describe her weariness. So much had happen and there was so much more to come. She worried she wouldn't have the strength to kept up this charade. She was so tired. She was so lonely.

In the darkest corners of her mind, she secretly wished she didn't know about Inuyasha's affair. It was true what they say about ignorance is bliss.

Kagome chided herself, happy thoughts, think happy thoughts damn it! It helped having Rin around. If it weren't for the little girl, she knew she would be completely insane. Kagome also knew Rin needed her just as much. That little difference warmed her heart.

There was so much to live for, she was destine for better things then this. She was the bearer of the Shikon no Tama, that had to count for something! Kagome took that quote, "That which does not kill you makes you stronger," as her motto. She was going to survive. She just had to take each day at a time.

It wasn't so bad, she tried to tell herself. Sesshoumaru could have been worse. He had all the opportunities to break her will but didn't. He left that decision up to her. A part of her mind desired to believe he wanted to help her. To make her stronger, and wiser. Kagome sat up and scoffed. There's no way. He's a self-serving jerk that gloats over those weaker than him!

It was still fairly early but she had had enough sleep. She got up to dress for the day. First thing on the agenda was to get Rin up and feed her. She walked down the corridor to get the girl. She walked into the room only to be taken back.

Fear leapt into her heart. He was there.

He opened his eyes and stared at her. For a tense minute they looked at each other. He finally closed his eyes as if he were sleeping. Rin cuddle the hand she held. Kagome bowed and walked out. Outside she leaned on the wall. Her mind made mad calculations.

First of all she saw Sesshoumaru sitting on Rin's futon with Rin curled up in his lap. That didn't make sense. He was a cold-hearted beast who lived to make others suffer. Yet here she found him cradling Rin as if she were a baby. In that serene moment, Kagome was having doubts about her presumptions on the Taiyoukai. In that room with the soft light of the early morning, he appeared like a guardian angel and not some demonic being.

Kagome slipped away to the kitchen, her thoughts troubled. Jaken was in there rationing out proportions. He gave her a glare before picking up his tablet, waiting to write down every mistake.

"Good morning Master Jaken!" Kagome chirped. When he scowled at her cheery mood she smiled even more. She loved giving him a hard time.

The rice was just about done along with the miso soup and rolled omelettes. Kagome sat back and waved an ornate fan to cool off. The table was all set, all that was needed were the eaters. Kagome's yawn was cut short as a merry "Good morning Kagome-san!" sprang forth from Rin. She smiled at the little girl.

"Breakfast is ready, why don't you go wash your hands so we can eat." Kagome said as she began serving. Rin scampered off to do just that.

Sesshoumaru walked into the room wearing his traditional white kimono with the blood red design. In her stay she hadn't seen him wear it. Could this mean he was about to leave? Kagome felt somewhat uncomfortable as he sat down. This was probably the first time he joined them for a meal. She nervously scooped the rice into a bowl for him. She was about to dish him out the other side dishes but he refused them. Rin came back and plopped down beside Kagome.

The two adults remained quiet as they ate. Rin filled in the silence to calm the tension in the air. She ate hurriedly and spoke in the intervals. Deftly she plucked up a few pickles from the tray and crunched them noisily. She kept looking at Kagome hoping she would talk. Instead the older girl kept her head bowed and ate her food quietly. To her it looked like Kagome wanted nothing more then to disappear. She turned her head to look at her Sesshoumaru-sama who didn't seem to notice either of them. She sighed dramatically. This was not going to do.

"Kagome-san, what are we going to do today?" Rin asked. She held her cup like a miniature hime; so eloquent were her manners. Kagome swallowed the last bit of her miso soup to ponder the question. Today she had hoped to do a little arts and craft with the girl. Anything to brighten the dreary décor of the fortress. Before Kagome could say anything, Sesshoumaru spoke.

"We will leave today," He said. The two girls looked at him. Rin was excited to go. Kagome on the other hand wondered what 'we' meant. So often she felt like a sub-being here. Although she didn't want to admit it, she too was elated. To get out in the fresh open air! Kagome had to calm herself. Until she was sure, Kagome had to keep from getting her hopes up.

Rin practically gobbled down her food. All grace disappeared as she shoveled in the food. She jumped and ran out of the room to pack her things. Jaken finished his inventory and hobbled out as well. Kagome panicked at being stuck with Sesshoumaru- alone. How often did she become accustomed to Rin to buffer his presence? Even having Jaken around was preferred. Kagome also hurried to finish her meal.

She glanced up at him to see that he was watching her. Kagome looked back down quickly. Why did he always stare at her like she was some weird specimen? He barely ate any of his rice. The clink of his chopsticks neatly placed on his bowl echoed in the room. Kagome didn't bother to chew, she swallowed her bit of rice. She began to get up to ready the dishwater.

"You'll need a lot more to sustain you." He said. Kagome took the hint and sat back down. She dished out the remaining rice and miso soup. So I guess I'm going. Kagome smiled despite herself. For the first time in a week she ate to her hearts content.

She chanced to look back at him. This time he was looking out the entranceway, deep in thought. He held his cup and drank. He didn't seemed so menacing like the night before. Instead he looked like a regal lord enjoying his morning cup of tea. He's not so bad. Bewildered at the thought, Kagome mentally smacked herself. He was the demon who enslaved her! Of course he was bad! Yet that whole scene from this morning was making her question a lot of things. Like his treatment of her. It was fairly obvious the guy didn't have too many interactions with others. Maybe, just maybe, he didn't know how else to treat her.

This morning, she witnesses a whole different side of him. He so carefully held Rin to him, like a father. A good father that is. Not many men were capable of such an endearing act. In her mind it was an oxymoron. Homicidal youkai don't care for a helpless kid. They also don't take on suicidal priestess. Kagome shook her head. And here I am.

Sesshomaru got up and left her to her thoughts. Kagome some how knew he didn't want to stay too long, so she hurried to finish her chores. She gave the fortress a once over to make sure she didn't leave anything amiss. At the entranceway Ah-Un was saddled and was loaded with provisions.

Rin pranced around asking everyone, "Are we going yet?" Sesshoumaru calmly told her every time she asks, "Soon."

Kagome packed her yellow bag. She was indeed surprised that it weighed a lot more then when she brought it. Her new kimonos, a few pieces of jewelry and trinkets were the extra weight. On her futon there laid a gold and ivory comb. She slung her backpack on then she picked it up and walked out. She was still studying it out in the foyer. Was this a gift of good behavior or was it something more?

Having been half starved and exhausted didn't exactly set her up to appreciate them. Whenever she found one she shoved it in her bag, bitter and accusing Master Sesshoumaru of mocking her. Now as she held the expensive boon, she was overwhelmed with emotion.

Sesshoumaru looked over at Kagome as she fingered the token. He didn't understand why her eyes began to tear up. It was only a comb. She looked over at him and smiled her gratitude.

Kagome's smile widen when he turned away to ignore her. Maybe I'm crazy but I see a chink in his icy demeanor. She knew she shouldn't build wild ideas on unbiased observation but an inkling inside her heart told her to watch him carefully. Because of what she witnessed this morning she was willing to give him a benefit of a doubt.

They were all set to go. Sesshoumaru helped Rin on to the two headed dragon-mount. Jaken was checking off the list before they could go. Rin gasped, "I forgot my blanky!"

"I'll go get it!" Kagome volunteered.

"Be quick!" Jaken snapped. He impatiently tapped his foot. Kagome ran and grabbed it. On her way back an unbearable ache developed in her head. She tried to ignore the pain.

Sesshoumaru turned around. A foul ubiety filled the air. He felt this omnipresence before. Kagome wasn't more then ten feet from him before she shrieked. The miko doubled over in agony as a paroxysm took over her body.

"Kagome!" Rin yelled in panic.

Sesshoumaru cursed as he walked over to the girl. The same thing happened eight days ago while he was training her. She was mostly suffering from a metaphysical attack from a certain dead miko. Already he could feel Kagome's intense power shielding off the attack. If he didn't intervene she was going to explode with power, possibly harming everyone in the room.

He pulled her violently shivering body to him. He slashed his hand and when the blood welled up he cupped it to her mouth. Kagome gagged and sputtered trying not to swallow. "Drink it," he demanded. Kagome still struggled away from the horrid liquid. He roughly shook her and forced her head back. "Drink!" he growled. Kagome had no choice. She choked down the thick metallic tasting fluid. It itched her throat as well as making her want to gag.

Her body was having an adverse effect from drinking the demonic elixir. Sesshoumaru continued to hold her as her body began to convulse. He was stoned face as he watched her cry and whimper. Once she began to digest his blood, he was able to influence and shield her. The cold asomatous fingers retracted and faded away.

Everyone was quiet and watched attentively to the pair. Even Ah-Un seemed curious. Kagome stilled in his arms. He stood up with Kagome. Her eyes were glazed over. He walked her over to Ah-Un.

"Get on," he told her. She lethargically obeyed him. Rin looked back at her still worried. "She's fine Rin." Sesshoumaru said to ease the kid. "I need you to hold on to her," Rin nodded her head and pulled Kagome's arms around her waist. She looked up at Kagome who still had yet to recover from her ordeal. Rin rubbed Kagome's hand and repeatedly tried to soothe her friend. Kagome didn't respond as she starred off into space.

No one said anything as they commenced on their trip.

To be continued…