InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Difference ❯ The Difference ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Quilver
Gah, my computer hates me so I'm sorry for the crappy page breaks and lack of space...it didn't look like that on microsoft or fanfiction.net.

Sorry! It's good though.

Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance / Angst | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 04.24.2006 | Updated On: 04.24.2006 | Pages: 16 | Words: 22.4K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Completed

Authors Notes: I decided to add on to this, and do some editing. Maybe this time it will have a happier ending…
Kagome's POV
Inuyasha's POV
“Talking”
Flashbacks
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Inuyasha. I simply put them through perverted, and frequently life threatening situations, while enjoying their misfortune immensely.
Rated for: Inuyasha's mouth, angst, and…fluff.
 
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Summary: She was dieing, and she ran to him for help. He was embracing another woman, disowning her. She leaves him, this time for good.
Trying to move on with her life without him, Kagome lives the life of a normal teenage girl. Yet her dreams are still filled with sliver hair and amber eyes…
Inuyasha is having similar problems, spending day after day cursing his stupidity and staring at the old well in his forest. Too late, he realizes that he has made a horrible mistake.
She has vowed to forget him.
He has vowed to get her back.
Whose will is stronger?
 
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The Difference
By: Quilver
 
 
Part One: Past Love
 
Kagome's POV
 
 
I always knew when it was going to happen. I could always tell. I would wakeup and know it, the instant his eyes, those amber pools,met mine. He was so easy to read, the way he avoided me, turning away. Yes, I always knew.
Love does strange things to people though, makes them stupid, and makes them forgiving. No matter how many times I tried to convince myself that I needed to stop loving him, no matter how many times I took his promises to heart: “This is the last time Kagome.” No matter how many times he broke those promises, I still hoped. I hoped that maybe, this time, would be the timehe would choose to stay. That once, those promises of his wouldn't be empty. That once he wouldn't turn his back on me, but on her.
I realize now that all that foolhardy hope was was a young girl sinking into the depths of denial. That's all it was really. I always knew…deep down…that I didn't stand a chance.
Who had I been kidding? I had been fooling myself for years. It was stupid of me to believe, no hope, that maybe he would choose me. Stupid even, to dare dream that I, the copy, could ever hope to be more important than the original.
These two years I let myself fall into that hope, into that dream. And then, when the jewel was finally complete, our quest nearly over, I let myself dream of the life we could have together. It blinded me to what was right in front of my face the whole time. It made me forget the one most important rule:
Dreams are never meant to become reality.
Realizing that hurt. Shows how naive I really was.
Now, sitting here, all alone, I realize how bitter I sound. I am no longer the girl known for her kindness and warm smile. The young girl who's laughter brought happiness to the saddest of faces. No,she has disappeared, leaving just a fond memory behind.
Mother used to tell me that love would heal all wounds. It makes me wonder now, what wounds it is supposed to heal. Wounds love itself creates? Or wounds time inflicts. It's ironic that this decision I have made was formed on a wound. All it took was one single wound, a wound that I could actually see, for everything to suddenly become so real.
Sometimes you just need to see to believe.
I know this isn't the first time something like this has happened. Not the first time he has run off. But this time it was different.This time,I finally realized how stupid I really am.
I can feel it. The memoriesare like bright fish swimming before my vision. Untamed and unwanted.
I walked back into the clearing. I had just finished with a much needed dip in the hot springs nearby. I was content and blissfully happy. I entered the circle of light the fire offered, and sent a warm smile towards my friends. Sango, Miroku, and Shippo avoided my gaze. For them, the ground became unbelievably interesting.
That is never a good sign.
“Sango?” It was an unspoken question that answered itself when I noticed something.
Inuyasha wasn't there.
The silver haired hanyou that had stolen my heart wasn't occupying the usual tree he lounged in. His comforting presence was missing, leaving a cold, empty place in my heart.
“Oh.” My voice was quiet as the familiar pain tugged at my heart strings. I should have been used to this by now. But I wasn't.
I could see the pity in my friends gaze, and the hidden anger. Sango made a movement, as if she was going to get up, but I wasn't about to let her.
It was easier to ignore their pity if I pretended nothing was wrong.
“I think I'm going to go for a walk.” I smiled and turned around, facing the dark, ominous forest. It was fake that smile. I knew Sango and the others saw through it. I didn't care.
I walked off; having no intentions of finding Inuyasha, I already knew what he was doing. The soul youkai in the air were giving me more than enough clue.
Unfortunately, fate usually has its own agenda.
I didn't start to run until I knew that the others couldn't see me anymore. I just felt this need to get as far away from them, from the person who caused me that pain, as I could. Leaves became a blur; from the tears that clouded my vision, or the speed at which I fled, I never knew.
Soon the pain, a dull ache that pounded in my heart, numbed my body, causing any sense I had to disappear. That was my downfall. It made me more vulnerable then I already was.
I don't remember when it happened, when the demon appeared. I remember feeling the shock at seeing the huge bear youkai standing in front of me, grinning for all the world to see. Maybe that's why I didn't fight back when it attacked me, or maybe I didn't have the strength too. Or just maybe,I didn't care.
I can still taste the terror; feel every fresh wave of pain as those long claws dug into my skin. It's was like a never ending river of red.
Through my daze, I heard the demon growl somewhere above me, its voice low and husky.
“Give me the Shikon Jewel.”
I think that's what got me going,what cleared my head enough to hear the alarm bells, andtheinner voice screaming at me to get my lazy ass off the ground, and to get the damn jewel far away. Knowing that it wasn't just me I was protecting now, but the jewel, something I had promised to protect;made me realize I needed to live. I found the strength I used to be so famous for, andI managed to run, feeling every drop of my blood that hitthe ground.
Once again the trees became a blur, and my body was consumed with mind numbing terror, temporarily replacing the pain, in my flee for life.
I managed to escape only to fall into another nightmare.
I stop myself; refusing to remember the rest.
Letting my head fall back I watch the sky through dry eyes. I have no more tears left to shed.
It's bright tonight,those pearly drops of heaven sewn haphazardly into black velvet. So wasted on me.
“Kagome?” Oh how I loved his voice. That feeling it gave me every time. Warm and tingling, like I just dunked myself in hot water. I don't feel anything anymore.
I suppose I should turn around, face those amber orbs, that face I know so well. I knew he would find me eventually.The one thing I was never able to do,was hide from Inuyasha.
I should talk to him.
I'm done talking.
“…”
Even after everything, there is apart of methat wantshim to sit down next to me, to not give up on me yet. Hold me; tell me it was all a mistake.
A very small part.
“Kagome you shouldn't be moving yet. Your wounds aren't healed.”I stiffen up.He used my name, must be serious. I ignorethe way his voice gets all guilty and sad at the word `wounds.'
It's his fault I have them anyway.
“Kagome…are you…angry?”Ha. No I'm not angry Inuyasha. Not anymore. I don't feel anything toward you except vague annoyance. Why won't you go away?
“Kagome I…we need to talk.” Weneed to talk? We need to talk? Is he serious? I have nothing to say to him. He has said it all.
I can hear him coming closer, moving from where he stood so awkwardly a few feet to my left. Even if he is a hanyou, all the years I spent with him has attuned me to his unique sounds... every swish of his haori, every snap of a twig.
My throat constricts, and I want to run, far away and hide. The well is so close, just a few feet away. But I can't. I'm frozen in this hellish place.
There is warmth next to me as he sits down. I cringe away.
Disgusting.
“Kagome…” His voice sounds so pained. Ah,so sad…I really don't care anymore. He has herto make him feel all better.
“Kagome please…just look at me.” What if I don't want to?
“Kagome…please…” I imagine the look on his face if I did turn:
So surprised, wary,andpained.
A part of me realizes that this is pointless. Grudgingly I admit that I can't leave without saying goodbye. Even now, he has a hold on me.
That's what I'm doing, even if I didn't realize it before. I'm leaving, for good this time.
“What do you want Inuyasha?” My voice is tired and emotionless. Is that even possible? Tired yet emotionless?
I just stare coldly, refusing to let those quilt ridden orbs of his to hold me once again.
He looks away.
Coward.
“I wanted to explain.” Oh you don't need to explain, Inuyasha. I understand that I could never be enough, with the fact that I can breathe and all.
“There is nothing to explain. I don't care Inuyasha. Who was I to think I could ever compete with the dead?” It's like I'm watching myself from far off. The dark haired girl stands abruptly,laughing. It's acold harsh sound. Apparently the inu-hanyou before heragrees,because his ears flatten.
“What do you expect from me? A hug and smile? I watched you. I got to see the whole thing.” He tries to speak but I'm on a roll now.
“I came to you for help. I just got attacked by a demon. I was nearly dead. Why? Because you weren't there Inuyasha. The one time I really needed you, no don't give me that look, you know damn well I have had the ability to protect myself for awhile now, you. weren't. there.”
“And you know why you weren't there to play the hero once again? Because you were to busy disowning me.”
There is a silence, and his eyes look away from mine once again as he whispers,
“I'm sorry.” Those are the softly spokenwords he never could say. At one time they would have stopped me cold. Like a magical `I forgive you instantly' card. This time they are not enough.
“Sorry? Do you honestly think that a sorry is going to cut it Inuyasha?” That laughter again.
“I put so much trust in you Inuyasha. In spite of all you did, I…I loved you.” There, those three words. This was not how I imagined they would come out. My declaration of love was supposed to be beautiful. Not full of pain, yet still empty.
“You kissed her., held her. Told her you loved her. Then you told her…” I pause and look away, “Then you told her I was nothing. You told her that I was just an annoying little pest who didn't deserve your love.”The pain squeezes my heart again, suddenly. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him flinch.
Pathetic.
“You laughed and kissed her all the while telling her I was just an, unfortunately, important little whore.” I laughed cruelly, “Not for much longer though, with the jewel being completed and all. Then you told her how you wished she could be with them instead of me.”I begin to walk away. There is nothing for me here, nothing holding me back.
I stop suddenly and turn to look into those sad amber eyes. I smile.
“And the whole time I was dieing Inuyasha.” His eyes widen. I think he finally gets it. If I hadn't found the strength to get back to Sango and Miroku I would have died.
I'm alive now, but on the inside I am forever frozen.
I reach up and wipe my cheeks, a motion I have done so many times. I'm surprised. My hand…it's wet.
I'm crying.
The surprise must have shone on my face because he stepped forward. I'm not going to let him stop me.
Time to go home.
“Kagome, wait!” Time stops as he grabs my arm, stilling me on the edge of the old worn well. His hand is everything I remembered, warm and rough, firm yet gentle.I look up back to the velvety sky, adorned with silver studs. A stray star steaks across the sky, leaving white dust in its wake.
My voice cracked just the slightest, as I bowed my head.
“I'm done waiting.” I could feelhissurprise, in just the way his hold slackened.
It slackened, all I needed to let him go.
Now, back in my time, I tell myself that everything will be fine. I go about my day smiling and laughing, keeping the same old mantrain my head: Forget love Kagome, you don't love him anymore, he wasn't worth it.
It's been two months, and somehow I haven't quite convinced myself. I keep replaying that moment when I left in my mind, over and over. Keep seeing that look on his face, the sadness.
I tell myself leaving was the best thing. Yet, when I sleep at night, I dream of him and everything we use to have.
I dream of blue lights; sad, amber eyes, and the sharp agony of my heart breaking completely.
 
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Part Two: Fairytales
 
Kagome's POV
 
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I am beginning to hate calendars.
Every month I rip off a sheet of paper, revealing the fresh, clean sheet underneath. I tell myself that this month will be different. This month I will finally feel like Kagome again.
And the next month I find myself making the same fervent promise.
It's now been six months, six months of pure, unaltered misery.
Six months of crying, cursing, curling up on my bed late at night plagued with memories…
My mind is full of him…
And, so is my heart.
I throw a pillow across my room, venting my frustration in the soft `plop' of the pillows contact with my bedroom wall.
A pink wall.
I hate pink.
Sighing, I stare out the window, at the tree that caused me so much pain. Cherry blossoms never bloom there anymore.
Now it is just ugly and barren, reduced to a simple tree once again. Similar to me. Once again I am reduced to a simple teenage girl. My dream has finally come true.
One of them anyway.
And, honestly, I couldn't be more bored.
Damnet! I have tried so hard! I dated! Went back to school! Lived a normal teenage life!
Why?
Why can't it be enough anymore?
Back when I traveled in the feudal era, I couldn't wait to get back home, to see my family and friends. Of course there were the tests I had to take, but I wasn't particularly excited to take them.
God, how many times did I `sit' Inuyasha trying to get to the well? How many fights did we have over me returning to where we both assumed, deep down, I truly belonged? How many tears did I shed because of his anger over it? How many times did I escape through the well whenever life in the feudal era got to be too much, or Inuyasha was being a baka again?
How many days did I spend longingly thinking about that ancient wooden fixture in the middle of Inuyasha's Forest?
And…how many times did I return?
It's like I couldn't make up my mind. I couldn't wait to leave, but then I couldn't wait to return. I would pine away, for the fresh air, laughter of Sango and Miroku, for Shippou's adorable cuteness. For…a certain hanyou with silver hair and soulful amber eyes.
Ironic, right? I couldn't wait to get away from him. Yet whenever we were parted, I missed him.
I figured, no hoped, that this time would be different. There is nothing holding me back there now. Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and Kirara have most likely moved on by now. And, I have stopped loving Inuyasha.
Right?
I roll my eyes and sigh, turning on the bed.
Long silver hair, bright amber eyes, crossed arms, scowl planted firmly on his face; dog ears twitching madly, haori fluttering slightly in a light wind.
I can feel the all too familiar prick at the back of my eyes.
Why can't I let him go?
 
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I have a date tonight. With Hojo.
Wonderful.
Ok, in all fairness, the boy is sweet. He, in all reality, is the exact kind of guy I would have fallen over myself a few years ago, trying to catch his attention. He's cute, has brown hair that flops into his warm brown eyes. An innocent smile and ringing laugh. He is tall, lithe; I have to look up to meet his eyes.
But…
There is always a `but' these days.
I'm determined though. Maybe tonight will be the magical night, the night I forget a certain someone and realize what a great guy Hojo is. I'll fall madly in love and live happily ever after.
Yeah, then I'll grow wings and shake my ass to send pixie dust in Wendy's face.
I stare in the mirror I am beginning to hate. It shows me myself: a teenage girl, nearly a woman, with long raven hair, unruly and thick. Brown eyes that don't hold their usual spark, pale skin and long, thick lashes. She is thin, curvy, and petite.
I tug at the skirt of the flowered sundress I have on. Sighing, I turn away from myself, tucking a strand of hair behind one of my ears. Sota is yelling for me, his still boyish voice echoing up the hallway.
“Kagome, Hojo is here!” Sota was so disappointed when I told him I had sealed the well and that Inuyasha was never coming back. He seemed to think of the rude hanyou as an older brother. He also doesn't seem to like Hojo much.
Scratch that. I know he doesn't like Hojo. I asked him once, and he replied with,
“Onee-chan, I just don't understand how you could date someone like him. He's so… boring.”
I laughed then, lightly reminding him that Hojo was a sweet guy and to give him a chance.
Good ol' Kags, ever the sweet-heart.
“Coming, Sota!” I sigh. Time to face my family. And one overenthusiastic teenage boy.
My mother is waiting at the bottom the stairs, chatting with Hojo. Sota has disappeared. I stare down at Hojo's upturned face, so round and naïve.
Vaguely, I wish I could vanish with him.
“You look lovely, Higurashi.” Blah, blah.
“You too Hojo-kun.” I smile at him, avoiding my mother's gaze. I can feel her frown at me. She does that a lot, along with this sad look she sends at me when she thinks I won't notice. She doesn't believe for a second that I am over Inuyasha.
Damn mothers.
“Ready to go?” Suddenly, I feel like I need to get out of here. I don't want to see that look on my mother's face again.
He offers me his arm, and nods. I take it and smile, again.
I can already tell that by the end of this date, my cheeks are going to hurt.
 
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I watch Hojo's lips move over the rim of my water glass. Full lips that look softer than mine. He has a slight mustache growing, just a few dark hairs over his upper lip.
Putting the glass down, I realize Hojo is looking at me expectantly.
I sigh.
“Sorry, Hojo-kun, I was spacing there for a sec.” I smile apologetically; at least I hope its apologetic, and tilt my head to the side, biting my lower lip.
Hojo smiles, and I notice that his eyes darken slightly, growing hazy.
Imagine that. Hojo gets horny too.
“That's ok Higurashi. I just asked if you were having a good time.” I try to control the urge to roll my eyes, and I think I end up with a slight twitch. Hojo has asked me that on every date we have ever shared.
“Of course, Hojo-kun.” I think I smile brightly. I have a strong feeling that I failed.
Hojo doesn't seem to mind, as he goes back to chattering happily between bites of sashimi and rice. He is talking about some movie he wants to go see.
And I promptly tune him out.
I look down at my oden, staring wistfully. A pair of amber eyes flashes into my mind and I clutch my chopsticks tighter.
No. I refuse to think about him of all people. Not now or ever again.
I've been trying to do that for months.
Apparently I show my feelings on my face, because when I look up again Hojo is staring at me with concern in those big brown eyes of his.
“Higurashi? Are you ok?” His voice isn't boyish anymore, but deep and soothing. I close my eyes and let it roll over me in waves.
“I'm sorry Hojo-kun, I seem to be a bit tired tonight.” Smiling, I look down, the picture of a bashful girl.
“Do you think that we could go home early tonight?” I look up with pleading eyes.
Dear lord, just let this end.
Hojo smiles sympathetically and motions for a check.
“Of course, Higurashi-san, just let me get the check.”
I have never been happier to hear those words in my life.
 
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It's cool outside, the moon shining brightly through the haze of clouds that swirl gently through the musky summer air. Somewhere in the distance a bird calls, eerie and mysterious.
Hojo and I walk along, in what I believe to be, an uncomfortable silence. I can see the steps of the shrine, and my body sags in relief.
Suddenly I feel nervous, as we pause by the first step of the stair way that leads to my home. What will Hojo do? Try and kiss me? Give me a hug?
I glance at the blushing boy before me.
Propose?
Wouldn't put it past him.
Suddenly he looks up, and I steel myself.
“I had a real nice time Higurashi-san.” Mmhmm, I'm sure you did.
“Me too, Hojo-kun.” White lies are kinder than the truth.
Silence.
I smile tentatively and turn to begin the long climb up.
“Well, goodnight Hojo-kun.” A hand on my arm stops me. As suddenly as it is there, it disappears.
“No…um…wait a second Higurashi-san.” Oh, do I have to?
Hojo shuffles his feet, his face red.
“Um, Higurashi, I mean…Kagome…”Uh oh. He called me by my first name. That can mean nothing good.
Time slows as he leans forward, eyes tightly shut, lips puckered. My eyes widen.
Closer, closer…
Warm lips cover mine in a chaste kiss. Then they disappear.
I can't move.
“Uh, goodnight Kagome-chan.” If I wasn't so shocked, I would probably find humor in the fact that Hojo is doing an excellent impression of a tomato right now.
He turns away, and walks off, his hair glinting in the moonlight.
My first kiss…initiated by a guy anyway.
I close my eyes, and recall the feel of Hojo's lips against my own. All I can picture is silver hair and amber eyes.
Sighing, I turn.
So much for my fairytale.
 
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Part Three: Fixing a Mistake
 
Inuyasha's POV
 
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Fuck.
That seems to be my new favorite word now. I find great uses in yelling, whispering, or thinking it over and over. Especially if it involves a sentence with the word, `Kagome” in it.
Fuck.
It's been six months. 168 days. 4032 hours.
Holy shit.
In every single one of those hours I have thought about her. The woman that I finally drove away, finally hurt one last time. I re-live the last moments we shared, dream of her scent, her eyes, her long, black hair.
I can still she the heartbreak shone so openly on her face, as she stared up at me, falling in all that pitch blackness. She always did wear her heart on her sleeve…and I got to watch it shatter.
I am a total and complete idiot.
Suddenly Kikyou doesn't seem nearly as important. When Kagome left I realized…
I realized that I didn't love Kikyou. That those promises I made to her were empty.
It's so hard to explain, my sudden twist of bearings. All I know is that when Kagome's exit finally registered in my mind, I felt empty.
I never felt like this when Kikyou was gone. Sure, I felt slightly sad when she died, but I didn't miss her when she came back to `life' and wasn't around much.
Not like I do Kagome. I almost feel….homesick.
I stare at the well, what used to be my link to her. I have long since stopped jumping down into its dark depths everyday, knowing by now that I can never reach her again. Now instead, I just stare at it.
Quite an improvement.
At first I couldn't believe it. She actually sealed the well. Kagome, the girl that had promised to forever be by my side, had finally donewhat she had threatened to do so many times before: Seal the well, and leave me forever.
I was angry and hurt. I blamed her, saying it was her own damn fault.
Ah, denial.
Then, when those first few weeks past, I realized that I had fucked up big time. And that this time, I couldn't do anything about it.
Ah, depression.
Sango, Miroku, and Shippou refused to talk to me for the first month. I guess when they realized how guilty I was, they lightened up. They talk to me now, and try to convince me to move on, that she wasn'tcoming back.
I can't accept that. Kagome will return. She has too.
Right?
But now, I am beginning to have my doubts. I have gone solong withoutseeingthe familiar,flashing blue lights that erupt from the well, the alarm that lets me know she is back. I am finally realizingthat if I want Kagome, I am going to have to get her myself.
Now, how do I do that?
My ears twitch as the branch next to me creaks in a slight breeze. Bees hum, and a villager on the hill a mile or so back is humming some stupid tune.
I close my eyes, and imagine once again what I will say to her when I see her again.
I willtell her how sorry I am, and how stupid I was. I willbeg her forgiveness, telling her that Kikyou doesn't mean anything to me. Kagome is the one for me.
Then I willtell her I love her.
Hug her, kiss her.
Bring her back.
My eyes open and I sigh. Then I'll probably screw everything up by opening my mouth and fuck any chance I had out the window.
I recall Kagome's face in my mind, and feel a tugging at my heart.
No, I didn't love Kikyou. I loved the idea of Kikyou.
The idea that someone would love me, a hanyou.
I've loved one woman my entire life.Loved her with a passion and longing that set my teeth on edge, and sent my heart into my throat.
And she is 500 years in the future.
Fingering the rosary beads that hang at my neck, I think of Kagome and mewhen we first met,and I stupidly tried to kill her. I remember how she broke Kikyou's spell, and reinvigorated me.
My eyes widen.
Broke Kikyou's spell…
Kagome…Kikyou's spell…
Wait. The well, Kagome sealed the well.
Kikyou sealed me to a tree.
Kagome broke the seal.
Kagome is Kikyou's reincarnation…
I jump down from the tree, searching the air for the familiar smell of graveyard dirt and decay.
Kikyou can unseal the well.
 
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“Hello Inuyasha, I haven't seen you for awhile.” Kikyou.
One point in time, I would have been ridden with guilt at her words. But now I just feel a faint annoyance.
And impatience. I need to get her to agree to unseal that goddamned well, so I can get Kagome, bring her back, make her mine, and send that fucking box to hell.
Breathe.
“Hello, Kikyou.” I narrow my eyes slightly at the amused look on her face. I have known Kikyou for over 50 years, and her amused is never a good thing.
She turns away and walks to a tree, leaning her bow and quiver of arrows against it before turning back.
She surveys me, her long black hair, straight and perfect swaying with her movement,before smiling.
“You wish for me to undo the spell Kagome has used to seal the old well in your forest.”
Well ain't she just observant?
I nod and wait, holding my breath.Her voice is calm and slightly curious,
“Why?” Because I'm going crazy without her damn you!
Somehow I don't think that approach will work well with her.
I look her straight in the eyes, taking a step forward. Oh boy.
“Because Kikyou, I love her.”Her face remains impassive, and I continue.
“I realize now, that what we had so many years ago, whatever it was, is gone. You are dead, and we can never return to the way we used to be. Kikyou…I never loved you, not the way I love Kagome. I was willing to change for you, but I'm not willing to die for you.”
“When Kagome left, a part of me vanished with her. I feel incomplete without her, empty inside. The world around me has less color, and every day is just like the one before it. Kagome was my happiness and the one thing that kept life interesting.”
“Please, nothing is the way it is supposed to be without her. I'm not the same without her. I need her…I realize that now. Please, give me a second chance. Let me go back to her.”
Whoa. Why can't I ever say things like that to Kagome?
Kikyou looks at me, her face cold and empty.Her expression didn't change in the slightest throughout my speech.
I watch, unmoving, as she steps forward and wraps her arms around me.
It's like embracing the wind.
Sighing, she steps away and walks back to her bow and arrows.
“Fine, Inuyasha. I will undo the spell Kagome has used.”Slinging the quiver over her shoulder, she turns.
“I also free you of your promise to me.” Before I can stop myself, I whisper,
“Why?” Inwardly I groan. I get more stupid every minute.
Kikyou looks at me blandly. Sighing, she shakes her head and begins to walk in the direction of the well.
“I do not know Inuyasha. This girl, Kagome, has saved my life twice. I feel…compelled to return her the favor.”
“Come.” I nod, surprised and happy. Determination and relief fill me. I will see Kagome again.
 
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“Inuyasha, listen. I am only doing this once. If Kagome refuses to return with you, and re-seals the well, do not come to me for assistance. I am doing this as a favor to Kagome, and because I feel it is right. Do not ask me again.”
I nod, and she seems satisfied.
Wait, what if Kagome does refuse to come back? What if she has moved on already?
What…what if she doesn't love me anymore?
Fuck, this is not the time to doubt myself. I will get Kagome back, and that is the end of it.
Kikyou has her eyes closed and looks as if she has finally discovered how to sleep standing up. Her pale face is serene, her hair unnaturally still. She has one hand on the well's rim, and the other held loosely at her side.
Interesting stuff.
Then she opens her eyes, and smiles.
A real smile her folks.
She glances at me, before abruptly turning back to the well and placing both hands on it. Nevertheless, I still saw the amusement dancing in her usually stoic eyes.
“She was really determined to never see you again Inuyasha. She has at least six ofudas on the outside of the well, and besides just infusing them with her miko powers, she prayed over each one.”
Ouch.
Maybe this is a bad idea after all? She…she was really determined.
“Don't worry Inuyasha, I can still break through. It is slightly similar to the arrow I used to bind you to the tree. A sacred arrow is nothing more than a purifying arrow that has been prayed over.”
Fascinating. Now I know exactly what the thing was that killed me.
My life now has purpose.
I watch as Kikyou closes her eyes once again. This time she glows a brilliant blue, and, to my surprise, so does the well. Her lips move in silent prayer, and I can't help but feel awed by her obvious display of power.
Kagome did all this?
Moments pass, and Kikyou and the well dim. She opens her eyes, and all trace of her miko powers disappear. Turning,she looks at me,
“It's finished.”
 
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Part Four: Hesitation
 
Inuyasha's POV
 
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Why?
Why did I come here?
Why do I continually put myself through this fucked up torture?
Damn it, why?
It has been days, three fucking, goddamned, pathetic, days.
And I still haven't spoken to her.
How can I, when she spends all her time with some fucking boy, who obviously doesn't deserve to look at the ground she fucking walks on. Jesus Christ, he is like some demented puppy, following her around, caressing her with his eyes, touching her, brightening when she smiles at him.
Asshole, I'm going to rip his damn throat out.
Kagome….
Her scent is the same as ever, calming me in vanilla waves. It's so strong here, covering everything she touches. Her smile is just as beautiful as I remember, if not as bright. Her hair is just as silky looking, just as unruly and black. Her eyes are just as brown, and just as revealing. Those lips of hers, so soft and quick to smile. Lean body, petite and curvy in just the right places.
She is still the goddess I fell in love with.
Yet, all I can do is sit in a tree and watch her, day after day.
When Kikyou unsealed the well, and told me to go, I didn't even hesitate. My mind was so full of Kagome, so bursting with the possibility of seeing her again. Not even the abrupt smell of Kagome's time slowed me down. I was ready, and had waiting to long without seeing her smiling face.
But then, when I leapt out of the well, I could hear her voice, then the voice of some male. When I peaked out the well-house door, I could see them kissing.
I almost jumped back into the well.
Am I too late? Has Kagome forgotten me?
I stayed, and everyday it was the same thing. That boy, Hobo or something, comes to the shrine and visitswith Kagome. Sometimes they go out, sometimes he just stays for a few hours and they hang out in her room.
Then hekisses her goodbye, and goesoff on his merry way.
I keep telling myself that it's over, and that I should return to the feudal era. Kagome doesn't want me anymore. I am toolate.
But, I can't.
Now that I have seen Kagome, I don't ever want to leave her again. I don't want to return to some place where I know I will never again smell her scent or hear her laugh.
I can't live like that.
So instead I watch her, my eyes following her around the shrine, my heart aching when she leaves.
It's ironic that Kagome would be the first person to induce all these feeling in me. That she would be the first person to actually make me feel fear.
Pure, untouched fear.
Why am I afraid? Because I believe I have lost her. And that thought terrifies me.
When Kagome left, my world ended. And now that she is back, but still so far away, I realize that I can't live without her. I refuse too.
Kagome…
 
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Shit.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
Fuck!
Kagome went to the well house today, and discovered that the seal was broken.
Let me repeat myself: Shit!
She can't reseal it. If she does, I can never go back. Not that I want to without her, but I will have to eventually. With her of course.
And now, she probably figures I might be here.
Lord Almighty.
She is running back to the well house now, ofudas in hand. I can't let her go through with it. I guess, today is the day.
I have daydreamed of the moment when I would finally muster up the courage to talk to Kagome again.
I guess now I get to live it.
 
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Part Five: Scars
 
Kagome's POV
 
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How the hell?
It can't be…
The well…
The seal is broken. I don't know how, but it is. What, what if he realized, and…
No, Inuyasha wouldn't come here. He has no reason too.
But how! I made damn well sure that no one, besides myself, could get through that well. Who, besides Kami, could have done it?
I seriously doubt Kami got involved in my…love life…and unsealed the well.
I'll brood on it later. Now I need to reseal it. And soon.
I feel…exposed…when the well is open like this. Frightened.
Running back to the house, I search for the ofudas Jii-chan always has on hand. Sure enough I find a draw full and count out eight.
Obviously six wasn't enough.
Running back out, I leap down the well-house steps and kneel at the base of the well I know so well. Looking down at the eight ofudas in hand, I take a deep breath to center myself.
Okay.
Closing my eyes, I reach within my mind for the glowing pink ball that grows as I nudge it. Pulling out a strand, I will it to enter the ofuda in my hand.
“Don't” What?
I still, and open my eyes slowly, withdrawing from the magical corner in my mind. The ofuda in my hand dims and goes out due to the fact that I'm not concentrating on it anymore.
That voice…it couldn't be.
“Kagome, please. Don't reseal the well.” Oh my god…
Slowly I turn my head towards the voice speaking so softly behind me. My shock filled eyes meet a pair of amber ones that I haven't seen in a long time.
Oh shit.
“Inuyasha…?” His name is air across my lips. How can he be…?
How is it that…?
Why is he…?
How did he…?
I just stare at him, unbelieving. The man that haunts my dreams is standing before me, looking exactly as he always did.
Standing in my well-house.
500 years in the future.
“How…?” I'm standing now, I must have gotten up, but I don't remember when. Walking forward, never breaking eye contact, I reach out a trembling hand and touch his chest.
He is warm and quivering slightly.
Oh my…
“Hello Kagome.” I almost laugh. Six months and all he says is `Hello Kagome?'
My mind is going one hundred miles a minute. I have so many questions, the foremost being, `how the hell did you get here?'
`Why is he here?'
`How has he been?'
`How are the others?'
And, `Why do I feel like this?' Shouldn't I be righteously angry like in all those movies I see? Shouldn't I slap him or something, and tell him to get the hell out? Shouldn't anger me bursting within my bosom, threatening to burn us both?
Then why is it, that the only emotions I feel are confusion, happiness, and…relief?
“How…?” Obviously I can't say much.
Inuyasha smiles down at me-God I had forgotten how tall he is-and his eyes soften slightly.
“I got Kikyou to unseal the well.” Whoa, hold the phone. Kikyou?
Ice bitch actually bowed down to feeling?
Suddenly the theme song from `Princess Dairies' fills my head.
`Miracles happen, once and a while. If you believe.'
Well shit.
Inuyasha smiles for some reason, and brings his hand to my cheek.
“Don't look so surprised. I explained to Kikyou why I needed the well to be unsealed once again, and she agreed.” He hesitates, and pulls his hand away, averting his gaze.
The question that has now dominated my mind blurts from my lips.
“And why was that?” My voice is soft and shaking slightly. Sort of like my legs actually…
Inuyasha glances back up at me, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy. His adorable doggie ears and pulled back into his sliver hair, and his amber eyes are sad.
Then he straightens and looks me dead in the eye. I can see the turmoil going on behind those eyes of his, and I feel my throat constrict.
“Because Kagome, I love you.”
I-a-magine that.
I think I gape. I sure as hell no I have lost what little ability I had to speak. Actually I am wondering if perhaps I have misheard. Maybe I went deaf and those words were just a figment of my imagination.
Maybe all this is just a figment of my imagination.
But his warmth…that is definitely real.
Inuyasha sees my shock, because he continues.
“See, after you left Kagome, my world ended. I discovered that without you I had no purpose. Everything was dull.”
His arm around me-don't ask me when that happened-tightens.
“I need you Kagome. I love you.”
This is Inuyasha right? The boy who couldn't so much as tell me he liked my scent, and now he is openly admitting that he loves me?
“But what about…”
“I never loved Kikyou. I loved the idea of Kikyou that someone would care about me, a hanyou. You Kagome, are the only woman I have, or ever will, love. You make my heart beat faster when I am near you; you make my breath catch with your smile. Everything about you affects me. I love you.”
I register everything he is saying, but those words…
“I love you.”
Could it really be true? Could he possibly love me as much as I love him?
Seeing him again made me realize that I never stopped loving him. All those dates with Hojo were just a diversion, a distraction. I love this man.
“Kikyou means nothing to me.” I still in his arms at those words as a strange sense of déjà vu takes over.
Hmm…where have I heard that before?
I pull away and take a step back. I remember now. Words mean very little. Especially coming from him.
“Kagome?” He looks uncertain and confused. One minute I'm relaxing in his embrace, and the next, I leave it.
I can feel the familiar anger fill me now. Maybe this is what all those movies where talking about…
I feel for the hem of my t-shirt, and begin to lift. His eyes widen as I reveal a long, ugly scar that runs the length of my side.
“See this Inuyasha? This is the memory of that day when I left you. The day when you said those same words to another woman, who looks remarkably like me.”
Guilt fills his face as he takes a step forward.
I take a step back.
How can I believe anything he says to me? How will I know that the words, however sweet they may be, aren't just empty promises?
What's the difference between what he is saying now and what he has said in the past?
Turning, I walk back over to the well and kneel back down.
“Leave Inuyasha. You have no reason to be here.” Suddenly there is a hand on my arm, and I turn to look into flashing amber orbs.
“Why? Has that pathetic human boy taken my place in your heart?” The words hang between us, and the anger that I feel, at first cold and detached, now burns with a vigor.
How dare he!
“It wasn't that hard to do! I may have loved you once Inuyasha, but over time it disappeared, and the space you had in my heart went with it.” Lies, but I'm pissed.
For a minute he looks defeated, and the next thing I know I am being smashed against him, his lips crushed to mine.
His warmth is electrifying, sending my body into shock. I tingle from my toes to my hair, as he moves his lips hungrily over mine.
I begin to fell gooey, and light. Flashes of lines from books appear in my head. Of woman who `melt' when the men of their dreams kiss them.
Let me tell you, melting is quite a nice feeling.
Why do I never feel like this when Hojo kisses me?
His name in my mind brands me, and I shove Inuyasha away. We both are breathing hard, and I am shaking all over.
“No…” I whisper hoarsely.
Inuyasha looks crushed, and he turns his head away. Nodding, he stands.
“Fine. If…if that's how you truly feel Kagome, I will go. You can reseal the well.”
I watch, unmoving, as he takes the few steps towards the well and stops at the edge.
“Goodbye Kagome. I…I love you.”
Then he jumps, and is gone.
 
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Part Six: Dream Come True
 
Kagome's POV
 
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He's gone.
Why aren't I happy?
I watched him go, and just sat there, unmoving. Minutes past, and I just stared.
I…I couldn't find the will to reseal the well.
It's been three days, and I feel…incomplete.
Mother is worried, I can tell. I just walk about the house in a daze. Seeing Inuyasha again had awoken feelings I thought were to deeply buried to ever resurface again.
And…it hurts.
I want to love him, I really do. But how can I know that this time is any different than the time before?
What has changed?
Inuyasha is still the same. Same silver hair and amber eyes. Same quick temper and a smile that can make me warm all over.
Then what's different?
Is there anything different?
Why am I trying so hard to find something different?
Ha, well my math teacher always told me that if I couldn't work out an answer then to start at the bottom and go on up from there.
Seem to work alright then. Might as well give it a go.
Ok, first off: Why am I trying so hard to find something different? That's and easy one. I love Inuyasha, no matter how hard I try to deny it. I have never stopped loving Inuyasha, and most likely never will.
One down, two to go.
Second: Is there anything different? Yeah. I don't know what it is, but there is. Unless I'm going senile, Inuyasha didn't go about kissing me on whims back in the feudal era. Something must have changed if he is suddenly giving in to the urge now.
That's based on the fact that he actually had the urge to then…
And that leaves the last one: What's different?
I sigh, and stare off into the dark depths of the well. I've been sitting here lately. Ever since our `encounter.' I'm ashamed to admit that a part of me wishes Inuyasha would appear back down at the bottom, and demand that I return with him, like he has done so many times before.
Ah, but that was so long ago…
`I love you Kagome.” Oh, what I would have given to hear those words back then. But now…
My eyes widen, and I go completely still.
Wait…
“Goodbye Kagome. I…I love you.”
His words…
That's it. THAT'S it!
That's what's different
How can I be so dense?
Inuyasha, said he loves me.
The inu-hanyou who is well known for his inability to express his feelings in the common tongue, actually managed to tell me, without swearing, glaring, or stuttering, that he loves me.
He said it.
Leaping up from my position on the ground, I jump towards the well. The familiar blue lights swallow me once again, as I return to the age I had vowed never to return to.
 
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Why is it that whenever I actually want to see him, I can't find him?
Damn hanyou…
I've been here for like…three minutes now, and I can't find the stupid man.
I could be dieing right about now…
It's sunny and warm and everything I remember. At this moment in time, I could really care less.
They really need pagers here…
Then I see him, he is standing a little ways off, staring at me.
My heart stops with my body.
We stare at each other and I lose myself in his gaze.
“Inuyasha…”I whisper, and run towards him. Before I know it I am being held by two strong arms, and pushed against warmth I missed so much.
The smell of pine trees and sweat fills my senses and I breathe in deeply. Oh how I missed this…
“I'm sorry Inuyasha; I realize now, that what you said was true. I realize how much I love you. Hojo never took your place in my heart. He couldn't. You never left. Oh, Inuyasha! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I love you so much.” I realize I'm babbling, and that I'm also crying. He doesn't seem to mind though; he just tightens his hold on me, stroking my back.
I pull away from him a little. And smile beatifically, if not a little watery.
“You love me Inuyasha. That's the difference.”
I realize somewhere within my fogy mind, that he probably has no idea to what I'm talking about. But he understands that I love him, because I have never seen him look happier. His amber eyes are glowing with joy and love. There is a fierce look on his face, which I recognize as protection, and a sweet smile on his lips.
Reaching up, I press my lips to his, hungrily, lovingly, sweetly.
He returns the caress with the same reverence, and I smile into his mouth.
Pulling back slightly, my lips brush his as I say,
“Let's start over Inuyasha. Let's pretend you just announced you loved me and I squeal with happiness, acting like any love sick woman should. Then I leap into your waiting arms and kiss you with all the love and happiness I feel.” Leaning in, I show him exactly what I mean.
When I am officially a puddle of feminine adoration, I pull away, my lips still just barely touching his own.
“I love you.” Those words are the sweetest thing I have ever said.
I can feel him smile back, and he rubs my nose with his.
“Feh. You had an odd way of showin' it.” He lifts his head slightly, and sniffs the air.
Then he smiles down at me, his arms loose around my waist.
“You'll have to convince me more later, Shippou's coming.” He grins as he looks down, catching my eyes, before pulling away.
I bask in his love, and laugh.
A real laugh.
“Kagome!” A young voice yells my name, surprised and elated. I turn to face a young kitsune, his red hair flopping into his eyes. Bright green eyes that are covered in tears of joy.
“Shippou!” I call, crouching and holding out my arms. I hug him to me, listening to him babble about how much he missed me. I stroke his back soothingly, and glimpse Sango and Miroku coming, off in the distance.
Lifting one hand, I wave, the smile on my face huge.
My eyes lock with amber, and my smile softens.
For the first time in a long time, I finally feel like me.
 
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Kore de Owarimasu.
Doumo arigato gozaimashite
 
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Author's Notes: Well, that was definitely longer if I do say so myself. Thirty-one pages on Microsoft Word in size 12 font. I hope you liked this. It was fun to right.
Now, please review! Let me know if you liked it, if you didn't, what you didn't like about it, what you did like about it.
Arigato!
Ja ne minna-san.
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Japanese Words and Translations
 
Arigato-Thanks
Jan e-Non-formal, see you
Minna-Everyone
Jii-san-Grandfather
Hanyou-Half-demon
Youkai-Demon
Onii-san-Sister
San-Suffix that shows respect/Ms. Mr.
Chan-Suffix for a female friend.
Kun-Suffix for a male friend
Kore de owarimasu-The end
Doumo arigato gozaimashite-Thank you very much (past tense)