InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The End Of It All ❯ Lost ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Hello again, everyone! I know it's been a while since I've posted anything, so I hope you enjoy this new story of mine.

Please Note that this story is in NO WAY associated with Together Forever and is a different story entirely!

Please read, enjoy, and review!

Disclaimer: Inuyasha does NOT belong to me but rather all rights are those of Takahashi Rumiko whom is the creator of Inuyasha. This fiction is in no way the outcome or true plot by Takahashi Rumiko.

This fan-fiction will be rated NC-17/R/M for violence, language, and sexual content - more of which will come in later chapters.


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Chapter One: Lost


She was dying.

Laughter bubbled in her throat and she choked on the blood that lingered there, her lungs rattling with the thick liquid gathering within them.

It was ironic really, that this was how her life would end. Blue eyes rolled down to stare at the arrow protruding from her chest, somehow looking so out of place against the swell of her right breast.

'At least it missed my heart.'

Her lips curved upward in a quivering smile even as the coughing-fit from her choking left her body feeling weak, and she rolled to her left side with a grunt. The world spun around her in a dizzying dance and she closed her eyes, counting slowly back from ten to zero before bringing her knees under herself while her left hand braced her, right hand pinching the edges of her wound closed. It hurt like a bitch; a searing pain that electrified her nerves and set her stomach to rolling mutinously.

'To think I used to nearly faint at the sight of blood.' Her lips quivered but she bit back the laugh as she felt less than keen to have her body purge itself of the contents of her stomach as blood threatened to choke her throat into another bought of coughing.

Spitting out a metallic tasting mouthful of her own blood she shifted her weight and pushing off with her hand left the ground, stumbling until her legs solidified under her, knees nearly locking as pain spiked through her entire body.

If she'd known exactly how badly being shot with an arrow hurt she may have thought twice about firing one of her own.

'Or not,' Her eyes scanned the battlefield around her, a grim satisfaction rising in her chest as she took note of the enemies who had attacked those precious to her laying limp at the skill of her own hands. 'Bastards.'

Screams reached her, carried on the wind, and she stopped to grab her bow, a quiver of arrows quickly divested from a corpse at her feet before she slung it over her shoulder and picked her way towards the west.

Her vision blurred slightly about the edges and she grit her teeth, pushing onward even as her legs wobbled dangerously, her lungs protesting as they clamored for air. She spat another mouthful of blood, not caring that a trail of it dribbled down her chin. Hell, her white shirt was a horrid mixture of colors, some of which she didn't know the origins of. She could feel the cloth of her shirt catch at the edges of her wound, agitating the already abused skin – as if she wasn't already bleeding enough.

- - - - - - - - -

Her sister and child were dead.

Rage clawed through her, shook her from the inside, until she couldn't see past the haze of fury dancing in her mind. She turned stiffly from the corpses – her fucking baby and her sister! - and something within her broke. The restraint within her shattered beneath the hatred bubbling in her heart and she screamed, throat raw and protesting the abuse.

It was a wordless cry that cut and rent the air as quickly as any weapon would had it met flesh and it didn't matter that she couldn't breathe, that the world was fading to a gray haze about the edges. All that mattered in that moment was the anger, sorrow and regret fueling her need to end it – to kill that bastard once and for all.

Ten strides brought her past the bleeding but mobile bodies of her male comrades, another six and she was close enough to make out the splash of surprise painted across his face.

She didn't bother with the bow and arrows – it would only make the battle that much longer. No, instead she chose to launch herself at him, fingers curling in his clothing as her fist smashed into his face with the most satisfying sound of bones breaking and giving way under the force of her hand, her teeth bared in a predators smile.

Claws cut into her flesh, left bleeding gashes and bruises across her torso, the arrow jostling and digging deeper into her body as they fought, but she ignored it, hissing and spitting blood into his face as she repeated the punishing movement of her fist to his flesh.

She was a woman possessed, no dignity left in her, and she was too far gone to give a damn that she looked insane as she took a sort of maniacal glee in the blood and bruises blooming from her attack.

Finally he dislodged her, throwing her away from him before his legs gave out and he scuttled back on all fours, the purifying energy of her aura having pressed far too closely to his own, hands groping the ground as blood seeped into his eyes and left him temporarily blinded.

She rolled to her knees, vomiting as the pain coursed through her system like a poison and yet she stood with a grunt of pain, gasping as her lungs began to truly fail her. Her hand found an arrow that had been knocked from her quiver in the fight and she clasped it tightly, eyes fixed on her prey as she stumbled forward.

He wiped his eyes clear, catching the vague form coming his way and he stood, backing away, mind casting about for a plan of escape. He'd already been injured by her companions before she'd attacked and now, feeling as though the world would slip out from beneath his feet, he was ready to retreat. He'd inflicted enough damage on them for now; it would cripple them for a while yet.

His eyes flickered to the downed forms of the taijiya and kitsune kit, bloody holes pierced through both their middles and the remains of his tentacles at their feet. It had been a sight to see, the houshi and hanyou trying to cut out the miasma coated tentacles from their companions, only to watch helplessly as they died.

He cast the miko a victorious smile, taunting her with the knowledge that he knew of her pain and that he relished in it, and he began to gather his energy, the miasma swirling slowly about his feet.

She felt the air around him shift, knew he was going to attempt escape, and she wasn't about to let him leave – he wasn't dead yet and she refused to wait to kill him; he was going down now.

Her power rose in a halo around her and she lunged, throwing everything she had into the movement and it caught him, left him screaming as the purification burned through his flesh. Her hands closed about him again and he snarled in her face, fangs flashing as he made to bite at her jugular. She snarled back at him, pouring her power into her hands, willing it to bury itself into him and eat away at him from the inside.

Grabbing the arrow protruding from her chest he pushed it further into her and she laughed, tears pricking her eyes as pain screamed its way across her body. She raised the arm holding the arrow and brought it down with a force she wasn't aware she had, the vibrant glow of her energy infused in the weapon nearly blinding in its intensity.

The tip sunk into his flesh, grating and sending a shock up her arm as it scraped against his ribs. Still she pushed harder, eyes lighting in triumph as a scream turned to a gurgled in his throat, eyes wide as he took in her bright and oh-so happy smile.

“You lose, Naraku.” It was a whisper made thick and heavy as her throat closed tightly, lungs burning as the world faded to shades of white and gray.

Her power exploded outward, illuminating the grotesque battlefield, washing over and purifying the bodies of their enemies littering the ground until they turned to ash, and she watched in pleasure as her enemy literally blew apart into dust as the holy power ate his flesh and left a scattering of ash in its wake.

The world went dark and she felt the dull impact of her back meeting the ground, but she was too tired to care, far too tired for anything at all, and she let her eyes flutter closed.

She could almost swear she heard her name being called, but she wasn't sure of anything anymore. She was dead anyhow, wasn't she?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _


It was dark and the sky was thick with clouds, the stars winking down at her as the wind shifted and carried the rolling storm clouds away into the distance. Heavy lids blinked closed for a moment before opening again, and she wondered why she was still there on the battlefield.

Wasn't heaven or hell supposed to be a far cry different from the world you'd just left?

“Kagome,” the voice came as though in a tunnel and it took all her will to simply shift her head to the sound, blue eyes meeting gold.

“Hi,” her throat burned and she coughed violently, body spasming as her lungs reminded her they still needed oxygen.

Inuyasha stared down at her, his face a white mask of horror as he crawled closer to her. His movement left her view unobstructed and she saw Miroku collapsed over Sango's body, unashamed as he wept, his sobs faintly reaching her ears. Kirara's yowl of sorrow soon joined his and it sounded strangely like a funeral song.

Tears pricked her eyes and she didn't fight them as they rolled over her dirty cheeks. She couldn't mourn her losses, she didn't have time, because soon, just like Shippo and Sango, she would be an empty husk that lay lifeless and broken.

It wasn't her own loss of life that bothered her, that she accepted and could feel pulling at the edges of her consciousness, but it was the fact that she could not grieve for the loss of those precious to her that she truly regretted. They'd been so much to her, so close and dear to her heart that she wasn't sure she would have wanted to live even if she could have.

“Kagome,” She rolled her eyes up to him, lips tilting up in a smile as one hand, agony piercing her skull even as she forced her arm to obey her command, rose to trail her fingertips across the expanse of Inuyasha's jaw.

His fingers were clammy – or was it just that she was going cold? - as he grasped the wandering hand, pushing something into it before he folded her fingers closed about the smooth, round, object.

'The shikon no tama?'

“Make a wish, Kagome,” He kissed her hand, and she gasped, vision blurring once more as blotches of white clouded her vision of the male whom she so desperately longed for as tears welled against the gold of his eyes.

“It's yours.” It hurt to speak now and she wondered idly if she should just stop trying to breathe; it would probably hurt a lot less.

“It's yours; think it, speak it, scream it – I don't care – just make a fucking wish!”

Her arm was held aloft, her wrist prisoner in his hand, and she unfurled her fingers slightly to stare at the jewel that gleamed back at her, seemingly so inconspicuous despite all the horrors that followed it.

'It's not even really pretty,' She mused, feeling the warmth of it burn against her hand. Plain it may have looked, but there was always the bite of power it held that burned against the skin.

Face grim her fingers curled about the jewel again and her lids closed once more, too heavy to remain open even as it allowed her the moment to think.

How did one word a wish on the shikon no tama? Was there some rite one had to perform – purification, a sacrifice?

She heard Miroku's cries and her heart clenched. Too many sacrifices had been made for the damn jewel and she wouldn't give it anymore.

'Make it right; all the wrongs done against the innocent, all the lives taken needlessly in the fight for this power, all those killed who fought for peace and to save us all from this curse – make it right.' She smiled to herself, dry amusement coloring her thoughts now. 'And when its all said and done, disappear and leave us the hell alone.'

Inuyasha dropped her hand, retreating from the power that flared from Kagome's closed fist, and when her arm hit the ground, limp and lifeless he stared at her empty hand as it unfurled with the landing.

Blue eyes stared at his own and those pink lips curved into a smile for him and he knew that she saw him, saw the movement of his lips as he screamed her name and lunged for her, hands grazing her skin before in the blink of an eye she was gone, vanished as though she were nothing but an apparition. The only tell tale sign of her was left with the pool of her blood upon the ground and the blood stained arrow that had been in her chest left lying innocently among the grass.

“Kagome!”

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She ached something fierce all over.

It felt as though she'd been beaten black and blue from the tips of her toes to the ends of her hair. Breathing hurt like a bitch and she was sure that something was stuck down her throat and for a panicked moment she fought it and gagged, until finally she calmed, noting that if she breathed shallowly she could handle the object trespassing in her throat.

Sounds reached her, the whine and soft whistling of machinery, and it echoed loudly in her ears until it left her head pounding in time to mechanical beats and tears pricked her eyes.

“She moved,” A voiced echoed in her head and she whimpered, eyes that she'd kept closed scrunching shut tighter as a light flared and tried to access her eyes.

“Put her down lightly and remove the tube.” The voice seem distorted and it left her ears ringing, and she fought to keep her senses as her every nerve ending throbbed in time with each syllable spoken.

“Yes, sir.”

Gods, they were killing her head, couldn't they just go away?

A needle pricked at her arm and she started, choking on the object in her throat and gentle hands held her down. It only took a moment and soon they left, her grasp on conscious thought slipping as warmth flowed through her system.

'What happened?' It was a distant thought that floated listlessly across the slipping awareness of her mind and then, she knew nothing.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


When she awoke this time her body still ached, but it was a distant pain, and it took effort to open her eyes even a fraction. It was an action she regretted almost instantly as the glare of light hit her eyes and speared her vision – the pain nearly forcing her into a fetal position. Giving herself a moment she tried again, opening them gradually until she was able to see through the glare.

The room around her was white, sterile, and devoid of any kind of life aside from herself. Twisting her head, which felt strangely like she was sending it skipping across the room, she took note of a window with blinds half drawn, a roll-away tray next to a side table that held a phone, pad of paper, and a pen. To the right when she turned her head, still feeling a bit woozy, she noted a door that was firmly shut and a small bathroom and across from it a small closet.

'A hospital?'

Unintentionally her eyes roamed down to her body to take in her own condition. She was in a hospital issued gown, a white thin coverlet tucked around her middle and she wiggled her toes just to assure herself that her feet were in tact. Her arms were bandaged in several spots, one fist and wrist in a cast, while the other sported an extensive collection of IV needles connected to several pumps. She licked her dry lips, nose scrunching in disgust as the taste of her mouth reached her, her teeth feeling a bit fuzzy, and she realized with a start that she felt rather dirty and oily.

'I'd give a whole supply of ramen for a bath.'

A heart monitor beeped steadily behind her and she took note of six different bags of fluid being dripped into her connecting IV tubes, the call button for the nurse hanging just out of her reach.

“Miss Higurashi?” A nurse had appeared in the doorway and seemed almost afraid to step fully into the room, her eyes trained on the young woman in the bed.

“Can I have a drink?” Her voice was scratchy, throat sore from lack of use, but as suddenly as the question left her mouth the nurse was in the room, grabbing a cup and straw, water poured into the cup and the straw offered to Kagome's mouth before she could even add a 'please' to her request.

She sipped lightly and the tightness in her throat eased and she gave the woman a grateful smile for her help.

“The doctor will be right in to see you Miss Higurashi! I'll call and let your family know you're awake, just rest, I'll be right back!” She'd half made to ask a question but the woman was already gone, her voice carrying across the halls as the echo of her hurried footfalls faded from Kagome's ears.

'It's going to be one hell of a day.' She leaned back into her pillows, eyes staring blankly at the wall. She felt empty inside, as though there was something missing, and she had a fleeting image of faces, voices whispering in the back of her mind that faded as quickly as it came as the doctor rushed into the room and to her bedside.

“Welcome back to the world, Miss Higurashi, you've been asleep for quiet a while.” She stared up at the thin balding man with his glasses and neatly pressed slacks and jacket, and wondered why those words filled her with dread.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

She'd been in a coma for three and a half months.

It seemed wrong somehow, that someone could be 'dead to the world' for that long and wake up, feeling as though nothing had changed.

It took some prompting and probing questions from her mother before her mind had shifted into gear and she'd remembered what happened; after which she'd cried, raged, and been unapproachable for days after. Slowly however, she was picking up the pieces of herself and was able to talk to her family again.

To her credit her mother simply stood by and offered her love unconditionally as Kagome had gone to pieces, loosing herself completely to her grief. She'd made her wish, but had Shippo and Sango been given back what had been stolen from them? Not knowing anything and suddenly finding herself cut off from her friends had been a crushing blow.

Her mother told her Inuyasha hadn't come to see them at all.

As far as Kagome knew, the well had closed. He would have come if it hadn't, wouldn't he? It didn't help matters at all that she wouldn't be allowed to leave the hospital for some time and that after that she would still be too weak to attempt a trip through the well.

Arms closed about her as she sat in the hospital bed - her mother hugging her softly – and her eyes glazed as the drugs for pain worked their way through her system. On good days she looked forward to getting out of there, getting better, and trying the well to at least see if she could reach her friends – on bad days she'd wished that she'd died there on that battlefield with that damned arrow stuck in her chest and the shikon no tama gone.

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The well was closed.

She sat there, numb from the inside out, the scent of damp earth and stone filling her head with so many memories that she wanted to scream and rip her hair out. Instead she stood, and turned to the wall, pulling herself up and out with the rope ladder her brother and grandfather had provided for her use.

She sat on the lip of the well for a while, hands splayed over the aged wood, heart breaking into a thousand shards as tears slipped down her cheeks. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, how many tears she cried, or if she could even count the regrets piling up inside of her. All the things left unsaid, intentions left unfulfilled, so many things that could have been and moments passed that she should have sought out and appreciated.

It was far too late now.

Hours later she finally stood, whispered and sobbed words having already left her lips – thanks, apologies, honest feelings of her heart laid bare to the well, the air, and to the memories and feelings she held of those she loved. She only hoped that somehow, they had heard and felt the same. One last longing filled look at the well broke her and she sobbed, turned from it and fled, slamming the door closed behind her.

Her mother waited outside of it, her arms open, and she took comfort in the gesture as those arms closed about her and the soft beating of her mothers heart thudded solid and alive under her ear.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _


It had been five years since she'd watched Inuyasha reach for her; five years since the well had closed to leave five hundred years between her and that which she held dear.

As she looked in the mirror she no longer saw the young girl that had been so unsure of herself and awkward in her ways, no, instead she saw a stranger. A young woman had taken the girl's place now and she looked confident; assured of herself and her place in the world.

She felt like a prisoner in her own head, out of place in her own skin and a far cry from any sense of purpose or place in this world. More often than not she felt like a stranger, thrust into the stream of life as she attempted to keep her head above water. She often wondered when it was that she'd fooled the mirror into showing this facade-image of herself.

Outwardly she was pretty enough; hair now cropped to the tops of her shoulders it was still as dark and thick as it had been five years ago. The small traces of fat from her younger years had faded to leave high cheek bones and sleek features. Her eyes were still wide and looked far too young – naive she felt was a better word – despite the hard lessons learned. A sardonic smile pulled plump lips askew and she turned from the mirror, finding it suddenly distasteful and instead she turned her attention to smoothing the wrinkles from her blouse.

Wandering about with mythological creatures had left her with a dismaying amount of energy and wanderlust that were embedded as deeply as any habit and she found the need to keep herself busy was often reoccurring. She'd taken to exercising regularly – her slender and toned body the fruit of hours of labor.

She'd taken up courses in self defense, karate, fencing, and just recently kendo as well. It was these classes that brought nostalgic memories and she often found herself wondering if her friends would have been pleased by the changes she'd made in herself. Sometimes however, she wondered if things would had been different in the end if she trained then as she did now; those thoughts seemed to be the precursor to bad days.

Currently in her first year of college she'd found that life as she had once imagined it lacked the luster of its old appeal. College was interesting, yes, but it seemed so dull now that she'd had days filled with adventure and nights filled with companionship that no one else seemed able to attain with her now. She would have loved to have seen Inuyasha's horror stricken face if she'd been able to explain her college schedule and request time off from shard hunting for classes, had their journey had lasted.

Speaking of which, she was going to be late to her next class if she didn't get a move on. Snatching her bag from the side table she exited her apartment and made her way towards the school.

An hour later found her sitting in class, the professor droning on endlessly, and she took a moment to let her mind wander to a pleasant daydream; she let herself dream that her wish had truly been granted with no ill consequence other than her own lost connection to the feudal era.

In her mind she could see a smiling Sango, her stomach rounded with child, Miroku at her side just as happy and healthy as the expectant slayer as Kirara wove about their ankles. Shippo would be growing like a weed, all awkward limbs and shocking red hair, those green eyes bright and full of secret amusement as he traded verbal assaults with Inuyasha. She was sure Kaede would have her hands full with the lot of them.

Even now there were dark days when her dreams haunted her with broken bodies and lifeless eyes that accused and taunted her until she awoke in tears, laughter of a man long dead echoing in her ears. They were less frequent now than they had been when she'd first returned and now she simply accepted them as what they were; the sorrow of her loss and her fear that she had truly failed them with her wish upon the shikon no tama, yet knowing what it was didn't make it any easier to deal with, she'd found.

When the class ended she moved mechanically; packing away her supplies before shuffling listlessly towards the door in the tide of her classmates. More and more she was finding herself wishing for an adventure – chasing scheming men about or even being courted by a wild and wind blown boy. Anything to break the endless cycle of days with the even longer nights stretching ahead of her.

As she paced her way through the winding halls of the school her skin prickled, a cold chill racing down her spine and she stumbled in her shock, a brief thought of gratitude leaving her that there were no other students in this part of the hall to witness her mounting panic.

'A youkai.'

Heart hammering in her chest she spread her senses wide, breath catching as the youkai aura flared in response. It had been so long since she'd felt this type of energy, a power that echoed and left her humming with energy into the core of her bones as it shimmered and danced in the air. Before she'd given it thought her feet were moving, carrying her forward and down the deserted halls ever closer to the alluring call of something she'd thought to never feel again.

A fine tremble shook her frame, fingers curling in preparation for action if need be, eyes wide and darting about her surroundings jerkily. She rounded a corner, blood roaring in her ears, adrenaline pumping nearly as fast as her galloping pulse.

She expected a lot of things; to be attacked or even ignored, but never to be embraced before her eyes could transmit the image they were sure was mere hallucination to her shock ridden mind. The scent of musky herbs and something spicy assaulted her nose and she breathed it in, her face pressed against a firm chest, held securely in strong arms that wrapped about her back. The arms released her after a moment, large and calloused hands tracing the line of her jaw with gentle fingers.

“Kagome!”

He was breathtakingly beautiful, even after all this time. His hair was shorter now, the style a far cry different as his bangs spiked up with the rest of his closely cropped hair. His body was fuller and she noted that he'd finally grown into the shoulders she knew he'd have.

'His eyes are so beautiful.'

Tears blurred her vision but she'd know him anywhere – in this life and the next. Slowly, almost afraid a wrong move would dispel him from her, she cupped his face in her hands, the tremble a now solid shaking of her limbs. He was smiling at her and the world dropped from under her, leaving only the two of them for the space of a heartbeat.

The moment was over too quickly and then she smiled shakily, raised on tiptoe – he was taller than she was after all – and placed a kiss on his cheek. He colored cutely at the action and it brought a flood of memories that left her conflicted – should she cry or laugh?

He was waiting for her next move, the smile and eyes much wiser now, yet he didn't push her into action, but seemed content to simply bask in her presence and let her come to terms with herself.

'What do you say in a situation like this?' She wondered briefly, starring at him intently.

Really, there appeared to be only one thing to say, she supposed mostly for politeness sake, even as questions burned at the tip of her tongue.

“Hello, Shippo.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Authors Note: I hope that you all have enjoyed this chapter and would like to read more!

Also please note, to those of you who have read/are reading Together Forever that it is on a temporary hiatus as I work to edit and re-vamp it, and it will be back as soon as possible. I apologize for any upset this may cause.

For anyone who got a notice of this chapter, I apologize, as I re-uploaded it with corrections.
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Translations: Miko; Priestess (of the Shinto faith), Shikon no Tama; Jewel of four souls, Kitsune; fox, Houshi; monk/holy man, Hanyou; half-demon, Youkai; demon, Taijiya; youkai exterminator, and more will follow later!

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Kagome: -squeaks and peers at chapter-

Miroku: -off sobbing in a corner with Kirara-

Inuyasha: Oi, you, bitch! What the fuck is with this morbid shit?

Jade: -looks up from the next chapter notes- Eh? What, I thought it was rather interesting.

Kagome: -makes gasping noises and begins to hyperventilate-

Inuyasha: You killed Sango and Shippo – in the first chapter! What kind of morbid shit are you trying to pull on us?

Jade: -blinks and clutches notes protectively- You'll find out if you keep your hakama on you big drama-queen.

Kagome: -points to the last line and keels over in a dead faint-

Inuyasha: Ah, Kagome! Kagome, wake up, damn it wench, keep it together!

Jade: Right then. -turns and waves to the readers- Be sure to keep and eye out for the next chapter!

-curtain begins to close on Inuyasha fluttering around Kagome while wringing his hands like a big sissy-

Inuyasha: I AM NOT A SISSY DAMN IT!

Jade: Yes, yes you are.

Inuyasha: Come say that to my face coward!

-curtain closes on a pouting Inuyasha, Kagome still curled in a heap at his feet-