InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Free Wind ❯ Chapter 7

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Sesshoumaru was impatient. The more distance he put between him and his grandfather the better. The fact that that distance would also divide Kagura from him was inconsequential. Or so he told himself. A frown tightened his brow. The damned wind sorceress had survived. Not that it was a bad thing she survived. It was just unexpected that she would not only know his grandfather, but would unearth the old dog from where he had been hidden.

Sesshoumaru sighed. Nothing was ever simple or easy.

“Lord Sesshoumaru?” A small voice piped up.

Sesshoumaru turned to Rin, not bothering to hide the concern in his eyes. “Yes Rin?”

The girl stretched, wincing slightly when she tried to move her wrist, “Did Kagura and her nice friends leave?” She glanced around, “Oh! Jakken didn’t die, did he?”

Sesshoumaru allowed a small smile to grace his lips. Her concern for his retainer was endearing, though he was sure Jakken would say otherwise.

“Jakken his gathering herbs to help with your pain, Rin.”

She smiled, “And what about the others? Where is the nice lady who fixed me?”

He had hoped she would not remember them. Though only a child, she still had the tenacity of every female he had met. She would not relent on this line of questioning until he answered.

“Sesshoumaru-sama?”

“I heard you Rin,” he sat down beside her, “I told you Kagura had died.”

Rin laughed, “But Sesshoumaru-sama, didn’t you see? She is a kami! Aren’t you happy that she is alive now?”

He gazed down at her small brown head. Am I happy? He wondered. He had not thought about his own happiness in a long time. Happiness was no longer an emotion he concerned himself with. Pride, yes, and satisfaction, but not something as simple as happiness. Was he happy Kagura had lived? Yes, he decided, he was.

“Yes Rin, I am happy.’

Rin grinned at him, throwing her good arm around him and planted a kiss on his cheek. Not for the first time, he wondered why he allowed her to take such liberties with his person. Gently, he lifted her broken wrist from her lap. She looked at him, brow furrowed.

“It only hurts a little.”

Sesshoumaru gave her a stern look, “you must not use it Rin, and you must allow it to heal. Jakken will replace the bandage when he returns.”

“Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

Releasing her, he stood. She would heal. He refused to think about what may have happened if the others had not shown up. He would have survived, he did not doubt that, but Rin would not have. Her fragile body would have been crushed by his own.

He shook his head. She was important to him, he admitted. One day he would face Naraku, and what if he did not walk away from that battle? It was laughable that the hanyou could kill him, yet with his stupid half brother and now his grandfather both there to meddle, an accident could happen. What would happen to Rin if he were not there to protect her? She had gotten herself killed once before, after all. Not that he would die, he was Sesshoumaru afterall.

These thoughts were getting him nowhere. Uncomfortable with his own musings, he turned to the girl. “Wait here until Jakken returns.”

Smiling, she nodded.

He strode away. He wasn’t willing to leave her far behind after yesterday, but he didn’t need to wander far to have some solitude. Finding a tree out of sight from their small camp, he sat against it. He momentarily regretted leaving the night before. He would have stayed if only Inuwarai had not been there. Why did that old man still have to be alive? Closing his eyes, he remembered his grandfather.

“Why the long face, pup?” The kind voice shook Sesshoumaru from his thoughts. He looked up into the twinkling eyes of his grandfather.

“I will never be as strong as Papa.” he said softly.

Inuwarai kneeled beside the young demon, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Why would you say that?”

His pride stinging, he turned to the older demon beside him, “I could have killed that yokai by myself, but Papa came and did it for me. And then he…”Sesshoumaru stopped, it was too embarrassing.

“And then he whipped you?” Inuwarai asked gently.

Sesshoumaru nodded. Tears were stinging behind his eyes. Angrily, he blinked them away. Only children and the weak cried, and he was neither. He spoke, hoping his voice wouldn’t betray him.
“It was only a small oni. I could have done it.”

‘I am sure you could have, pup, but your father was worried when you did not return home for dinner.” Inuwarais eyes took on a faraway look, “your father loves you, Sesshoumaru, and when you love someone you protect them.”

“He didn’t have to whip me.”

Inuwarai chuckled. “Perhaps not, perhaps so. Tell me, pup, what if you underestimated your opponent? Though you are a strong lad, the demon you challenged was adult. Do you have the years of experience under your belt that the oni had?”

Sullen, Sesshoumaru shook his head.

“I whipped your father on a similar occasion.”

The boy looked up at him, startled, “you whipped papa?”

Laughing, Inuwarai said, “Many times. He has a strong head, stubborn dog. He was about your age, and he wandered off. We had been arguing.”
Sesshoumaru couldn’t hide his interest. “What happened?”

“A panther demon had been terrorizing the clan. No one had died, yet. I and some other warriors had set out to take care of the problem. Your father wanted to come, and though he was strong and brave, he was not old enough to face a panther in its prime.” He smiled down at his grandson, “After we left, your father snuck off after us. He was convinced if he slew the demon I would see him as a man. The next morning, I heard fighting. Following my nose I soon realized it was your father, and the scent of the panther.”

Sesshoumaru’s eyes were wide, “then what happened?”

“Your father was pretty beat up, but like any Inu he was still fighting tooth and claw. The panther was injured too, but having more experience was allowing your father to tire himself out while it bided its time. In a rage, I leapt in and disemboweled the beast,” he laughed, “your father was livid. Kept insisting he could have done it.”

“Is that when you whipped him?”

“No, I looked at him, bruised and bloody,” Inuwarai said softly, “Both his eyes were black, he was covered in claw marks. He had given the demon as good as he got, but he was my boy, and he could have died. Something in me snapped, and I turned him over my knee.”

Sesshoumaru was sure there was something important in this story, he just couldn’t put his finger on it. “If you were worried, then why did you whip him?”

Instead of answering, Inuwarai asked, “why did you want to kill the oni, pup?”

Sesshoumaru became thoughtful. Why had he wanted to kill it? It had been threatening the clan for some time. His father would most likely have gone after it soon. He also wanted his father to realize he was a man now, and could fight just as well. He wanted his father to know he could protect too, that he didn’t need to be protected.

Comprehension dawned on his face. “You whipped him because you loved him?”

Inuwarai smiled down at his grandson. “Yes, pup. The same reason your father whipped you. You may be almost a man, but until the last breath leaves your father, he will want to protect you. To a father, you are always his son, and when he sees you broken, bloody, and in danger, he is afraid. So he whips you, so you know not to cause him that fear again.”

One thing was still eluding Sesshoumaru. “But papa isn’t afraid of anything.”

Inuwarai smiled, ‘Your father fears one thing, just as I do, and someday you will too. He fears losing the ones he loves, that he will fail to protect them. Remember that Sesshoumaru.”

“Then isn’t it better not to love?” The answer seemed obvious to his young mind.

The older demon shook his head, “No, the rewards of love make the fear a fair price. When you love someone else, and are fighting for them, you will be stronger than if you were fighting for yourself alone.” he stood, “Without love, there isn’t a reason to do anything at all.”

Sesshoumaru nodded. He almost understood. If anyone killed his father or grandfather, he would not rest until he killed them. Maybe that is what grandfather meant.

“Shall we return to camp, pup?”
Sesshoumaru followed Inuwarai. His father was sitting beside a small fire, stirring it restlessly with a stick. He stood when his son stepped into the small circle of light.

“Sesshoumaru, I…”

Sesshoumaru cut him off, “I’m sorry Papa.”

A relieved smile broke across his fathers face. He took a step toward his son, enveloping him in a bear hug. Sesshoumaru hugged back, there was no one to see.

“I’m sorry too, son. Just don’t run off like that again.”

“Will you take me with you next time? I am almost a man.’ Sesshoumaru said.

The Inu-no-taisho looked down at his boy, worry folding his brow. He glanced at his father. Inuwarai nodded.

“You will come next time, Sesshoumaru.”

A grin spread across the boys face. Inuwarai laughed to himself. Both his pups had learned a lesson today.

Sesshoumaru shook his head. He had loved his grandfather deeply when he was a boy. He had loved him until word had reached him of the old dog’s death. He may have recovered from that, if his own father had not followed so soon. Both had died protecting others. His father a worthless human woman and a child that was not Sesshoumaru. His grandfather protecting nameless others that he had abandoned his family and his duty for. The lesson in love he taught Sesshoumaru lost all meaning.

The sounds of his retainer arguing with the girl brought Sesshoumaru back to the situation at hand. He would not abandon Rin. He was not like his grandfather. He would protect her, and failing that, he would make sure someone else was there for her if he could not be. Rin would not be left alone as he had been.

He began to make his way back to her. The pain of his grandfather’s betrayal was fresh again, after all these years. He had sworn to never care again. He had sworn his grandfather was wrong, and that love was not worth the price it extracted. Yet here he was, with a young human child that he could not bear to see die.

He stopped, the sound of Rin’s laughter washing over him. The missing piece of the long ago conversation finally falling into place. You will be stronger than if you were fighting for yourself alone. No, this was not about strength. This was about the reason to fight in the first place. What was the point of any of his accomplishments if they did not bring joy to another? There was no point without love. Without another everything he did had no importance at all.

He understood now what the old dog had meant all those years ago. He strode back into camp.

“Lord Sesshoumaru, you are back!” the imp squealed.

He cocked an eyebrow, “I am aware that I am back Jakken.”

The retainer glanced up at his master. What was that note he detected in his lords voice? Was Sesshoumaru joking with him?
“Sesshoumaru-sama! My wrist feels much better thanks to Jakkens herbs.”

The imp shifted uncomfortably. Sesshoumaru allowed himself a small smile, “Yes Rin, Jakken is good with the healing arts.” He almost laughed as the imp blushed at the unexpected compliment. He would have to remember to it more often, it was amusing.

Rin was oblivious, “Where are we going next?”

This time Sesshoumaru allowed himself a full smile. The wind sorceress could no longer die. She could protect Rin if he failed. Not that he would. He was not his father.

“We will return to Kagura, Rin.”

“Really? I like her, Sesshoumaru-sama!” the girl trilled happily.

So do I, he thought. He sat the child on Ah-un. He would face his grandfather as well. Maybe, just maybe, old wounds could be healed.