InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Friends Story ❯ Chapter 3

“Hurry!” Haylee said impatiently. She shifted in her seat in the dune buggy. Gods, was it always so hot in Florida?

 

Shelby shifted as well, readjusting her hands on the steering wheel. The dune buggy moaned. Or… they assumed it was the dune buggy.

 

“What is that noise?” Brittany inquired, annoyed.

 

Paris, who had circled back and was now running along side the vehicle, blinked. “Dost thou wish I investigate?” Why, his voice was so submissive his blue eyes sparkled with it! Hehe. Sparkled. Brittany gave a curt nod.

 

Paris jogged to the small trunk and flipped it open. His mouth fell open.

 

“What is it? Haylee demanded in a Brittany-like manner.

 

“Oh my God, guys! I finally caught up to you!” Rachael huffed, sprinting towards them. Haylee glared, and tossed a rhino at her. “OH MY F*CKING GOD!” Rachael screamed, turning to escape its rampage.

 

“As you were saying,” Brittany prompted.

 

“It is a dog, my lady. Bound and gagged.” He closed the trunk.

 

“A dog?” Haylee cried. “Is it all right!”

 

“It's dead,” Shelby answered calmly.

 

“Explain yourself!” Brittany barked.

 

Shelby took a deep breath. “I killed it.”

 

Paris cleared his throat. “Might I inquire why?”

 

Brittany slapped him. “Do not speak unless spoken too!” She seethed. “Now why did you kill it.”

 

“I didn't know where it was at.”

 

Everyone blinked.

 

“OH MY GOD!!! WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT FOR?!” Rachael roared, sprinting towards them again. A gay bar had distracted the rhino. Wow. A gay rhino.

 

“Be gone unimportant one!” Haylee yelled. She tossed a gender-confused lion in mating season at her.

 

“OH MY F*CKING GOD!” Rachael screamed, turning to run off again.

 

Brittany frowned. “Strange indeed,” She turned her attentions to Shelby, “Now what do you mean?”

 

“I needed some help from him now,” Shelby pointed out as if talking to an idiot, “and I didn't know where he was at.”

 

Paris opened his mouth to speak, “I-,” but Brittany punched him.

 

Haylee narrowed her eyes. “Shelby, what was the name of the dog?”

 

“Scooby-Dooby-DOOO!”

 

:---:

 

Haley paced back and forth in her personal bedchambers. Where was that idiot cousin of hers? “I took who she loves most,” She thought out loud, “and she does not even bother to come fetch him?” The girl paused, turning to look at something hanging on the wall. It was a framed picture of a large diamond.

 

The same large diamond Rachael had in her possession.

 

“I will have it soon,” Haley laughed softly. She pressed a little red button on the wall labeled `bring in an idiot' and waited a few moments. A short, fat guy ran into the room.

 

“You rang?”

 

“I need some blood to paint with.” She pointed to a blank canvas sitting on an easel.

 

“B-but, my liege. We have none prepared for you!”

 

She smirked. “Then I'll just have yours.”

 

:---:

 

The dune buggy halted before a massive, tackily painted building. It had a blazing neon sign on top of it that read `Castle in the sky'. Rachael came jogging up, out of breath. “This is it? I thought it's be more like... a castle… in the sky.”

 

“Shows how unimportant you are,” Haylee snickered.

 

“And fat!” Shelby added her two cents.

 

Brittany smiled. “Such pleasant recollections I have of this place.”

 

Paris smiled as well. “This is where thou became famous.”

 

Rachael swallowed, hesitant. “I've never been into a strip club before.”

 

Haylee pulled one of those sleeping masks out of the air so she wouldn't be able to see. “Would you like one Shelby?”

 

“Are you kidding? I can't wait!”

 

Brittany rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to the matter at hand. “Mufasa Disney Brother bear stallion Haley or whoever the hell you are, get out here so my brother can kick your ass!” Paris unsheathed his blade. It suddenly got night and stormy.

 

The thunder rolls! And the lightning strikes! Another love grows cold, on this sleepless night!

 

Haylee: Hey, stop singing whoever is writing this!

Ray: Yea, your voice hurts my ears.

Shelby: And bacon.

Brittany: -Raises brow- Indeed.

 

Fine, on with the story.

 

Evil cackles filled the air and Haley materialized before them. “Welcome to my strip club in the sky.” Her gaze fell upon Rachael. “I see you've decided to show.”

 

Rachael growled. “Of course I came.”

 

“Well, you're just so small I didn't see you at first,” she scowled.

 

“Why you-”

 

“Don't make me come down there!”

 

“SILENCE!” Brittany hollered.

 

“What she said!” Haylee added. She pulled a rape-flavored cookie out of the air and began to eat it. Shelby stood on her head, and spun around once, then came crashing down on Haylee. “GAH!”

 

Haley held out her hand. “Give me the diamond.”

 

Paris pointed his sword at her. “I advice thou ceases to be a nuisance to my lady.”

 

Haley smiled. “You are that guy from Romeo and Juliet, correct?”

 

“Why, yes, I am.”

 

Haley snapped, and Mercutio came strutting around the building. It beckoned to Paris, who followed, drooling. “My love!”

 

“That's not fair!” Haylee said. “You used yoai love against him!”

 

Shelby, who was busy digging around in a random garbage can, stuck her head up. “Did someone say incest-yoai-rape-Harry-and-Snape-together-is-so-hot-along-with-Draco-raisin g-and-egg-and-being-pregnant-with-Harry-and-then-raping-him-and-abusing-him ?”

 

Rachael shook her head. “I gave the diamond to my heart's desire last year.”

 

Haley's mouth fell open. “You mean, Sesshoumaru has it?”

 

Rachael nodded. “It is an impossible love!”

 

Haylee tossed a foaming camel at her.

 

“OH MY F*CKING GOD!”