InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Heart Within ❯ Chapter Forty-Two ( Chapter 44 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: YoukaiFate 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama / Adventure / Action | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 07.04.2010 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.8K | Visits: 470 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama / Adventure / Action | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 07.04.2010 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.8K | Visits: 470 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, etc., of Inuyasha or Yu Yu Hakusho. This story is for entertainment purposes only, and not for profit.THE HEART WITHINSummary: She has carried vengeance in her shadowed heart for 500 years, sacrificing her self for that dream. Now, Sango just might get her chance… (IY/YYH crossover) A/N: Thought I might supply some fireworks, in celebration of the Fourth of July. ;o)
WARNING! SPOILERS FOR YYH CHAPTER BLACK, THE THREE KINGS SAGA, YAOI LIME
Chapter Forty-Two
Hiei blinked.
“Hey, three eyes. Glad you’re back from the dead.”
*Yusuke,* his mind supplied, and grunted a short reply as he forced his reluctant body to move, his muscles knotting when he tried to sit up.
“Here, let me help you.” A strong arm wrapped around his wide shoulders and gently propped him up against the piled pillows. The earthy scent of growing things filled his nose, and Hiei looked up into verdant green eyes beneath a fiery fall of long, red hair.
“Kurama,” he croaked, his throat dry. How long had he been out?
“A full day,” the redhead supplied, solicitously offering him a water bottle. Had he spoken that thought aloud?
*No,* the fox’s warm voice echoed inside his head. Hiei’s red eyes narrowed as the fox deliberately looked away and back towards their friend, who stood on the other side of the hospital bed, arms crossed and grin stupid.
“What…happened?” Hiei demanded between sips of water. Drawing his knees up, he pretended it wasn’t weakness that had him resting his elbows on them to hide the betraying tremor of fatigued muscles.
“Well, I’d say you got your ass kicked by a girl,” Yusuke started teasing and then abruptly quit, catching sight of Kurama’s expression. Scratching the back of his neck, he shrugged. “Um, what I meant to say is, that you basically passed out after Anei---”
“Sango,” he growled.
“Who the hell can keep track?” Yusuke demanded, and then rolled his eyes at the expression on both. “Fine. Sango, then. Well, your dumb ass finally passed out after exhausting yourself using the Jagan to watch Sango get her ass kicked.”
“She didn’t get her ass kicked, Yusuke.” Kurama straightened, look ineffable. “Sango did very well, considering her adversary was an S-class demon.”
“I’ll say.” Yusuke grinned. “Koku’s one bad ass bitch. Crazy as all hell, but still packing quite a bit of power.”
“Could you do so well, detective?” The bite in the fox’s soft voice surprised Hiei, for Kurama wasn’t normally so confrontational.
“I guess we’ll find out, won’t we, Kurama?” There was a silent exchange between the two, as if Yusuke was challenging Kurama in turn. A small smile tugged at the fox’s mouth.
“Heh. Yes, we will.”
“Would you mind telling me what that’s about?” Hiei demanded crossly, and the two men started, as if surprised that he was still there.Hmph. Humans.
Yusuke shrugged uncomfortably. “Ah, it’s not really a big deal. I’m just going up against Yomi tomorrow night, since I won through the third round a couple of hours ago.”
“I disagree,” Kurama said. “It’s quite a big deal, detective.”
It was a big deal, actually. Yomi was twice as powerful as Yusuke, no matter how hard the boy had trained over the past year. Hiei frowned, but knew Yusuke wouldn’t care for his opinion on the matter, so changed the subject. “What about you, fox?”
An elegant brow rose. “What about me?”
“Did you make it through or not?” Hiei snapped, irritated that he had missed the whole third round after over-extending himself. He wouldn’t admit that the damn detective was right. He shouldn’t have used the Jagan to watch Sango fight after exhausting himself in the battle with Mukuro.
“He didn’t participate,” Yusuke said, scowling.
Hiei’s red eyes cut to the fox, silently demanding an explanation.
Kurama shrugged. “I withdrew. I was too spent from my own battle in the second round to be able to fight effectively.” His green eyes turned opaque as he stared somewhere past the detective’s shoulder as he quietly added, “Besides, I already got what I needed from this tournament.”
Studying the serene expression, Hiei grunted. Very well. He’d leave it alone for now, but Kurama owed him an explanation once Yusuke left.
*Agreed,* Kurama silently promised, and Hiei smirked. He should probably be disturbed over how easily they could read one another’s thoughts now, but he wasn’t, and that was ever enough for him.
“Where’s the hanyou?” he demanded instead, and Kurama smiled faintly at the deliberate moniker.
“Resting,” the fox reassured him. “In her own room, on the third floor. Jin is with her.”
“Jin.” Hiei scowled, a strange jealousy stealing through him at the thought of that barely-coherent buffoon alone with the taiji-ya. The feeling startled him, but he simply accepted it as he always had anything. What he felt, he felt. He’d never questioned himself before, and he wouldn’t start now. But he didn’t have to like it.
Yusuke pinned him with a quizzical look, which slowly brightened as that annoying grin grew. “Oh-ho! What’s this? Are you jealous, three eyes?”
“Shut up, detective,” Hiei reflexively growled, and surprisingly, Yusuke did. Though the detective’s insight was uncomfortable, for he suddenly started inching toward the door.
“Well, I think I should leave you two alone so you can talk…” Yusuke flipped a wave over his shoulder. “Glad to see you doing better, short stuff!”
Silence descended as Hiei stared at Kurama and Kurama stared out the window.
“Out with it, fox.”
Starting, Kurama turned to look down at him. He nodded, and brusquely took a seat on the padded chair between his bed and the empty one beyond. The fiery head bowed, as if the fox were considering how best to formulate his response.
The fire demon’s testy impatience was such a part of him it made Kurama smile faintly even as he steepled his fingers in front of him and began slowly, “You know my history. I don’t have to explain the dilemma that has existed for me since my human mother first fell ill.”
Hiei sharply nodded, those red eyes missing nothing. They rarely did.
“You know the struggle inside my heart, whether or not I should give in to Youko, and finally do as he’d always intended---”
Hiei’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t interrupt.
“Well, that question has finally been settled.” Shifting his gaze, Kurama stared directly into the scarlet eyes, letting the golden light seep through the dark green depths.
“Hn.” Not unexpected, that ambiguous grunt, but the smile wasn’t.
“I’m glad, fox.”
Surprised, Kurama looked at him. Hiei only smirked.
“There’s more,” he warned.
“Hn. Thought so.” Hiei crossed his arms and waited.
“Shigure is dead.”
Hiei shrugged, showing surprising unconcern for that fact. Troubled, Kurama explained slowly, “Before he died, he told me of the demands he made of both you and the taiji-ya---”
“The taiji-ya?” Hiei questioned sharply, indifference fading.
Surprised, Kurama said, “You didn’t know? That it was Shigure who preformed the heart transplant on Sango so long ago?”
“No,” Hiei growled. “Explain, fox.”
He did, using short words of what he had learned from both the surgeon and the slayer herself. Hiei’s eyes narrowed as he reiterated the promise Shigure had demanded in exchange for Kagura’s heart. The similarity to his own promise was not lost on the fire demon, and the rising anger that radiated off of the short apparition in dark waves made Kurama glad that Hiei was still so low on energy.
“It’s fortunate he’s dead,” Hiei said when Kurama finished, fairly seething with malice as his right hand, the dragon once again wrapped beneath sacred sutras, fisted. Ghostly black flames swirled over the bandages before subsiding.
“He suffered,” was all Kurama offered, and Hiei smiled. It was a chilling smile, but one Kurama understood.
“Hn.”
“But more importantly, Hiei, before he died, I made certain the surgeon took back the oaths he demanded of both you and Sango,” Kurama said gently, offering the one gift he could to one of those he loved most. He knew Hiei could not return his regard in the way he would have liked---the fire demon was not as he, able to love a man as much as he could love a woman. But that didn’t mean Kurama couldn’t love the apparition in a way that he might, and that Hiei would welcome. As a friend and a brother. And this was one gift he could give him, at least.
“You can tell Yukina now,” he softly explained, and met the smoldering red eyes that cut to his with a compassionate look.
Hiei looked down, both fists curling on top of his bent knees. “It doesn’t matter. She will never know.”
Shocked, Kurama sucked in his breath. “But---why?”
He couldn’t understand it. Here he was giving Hiei the chance to have the family he’d never had and finally lay to rest poor Yukina’s futile search for the twin brother who stood so close and yet still refusing to give her that.
“I don’t want her to know,” Hiei only said, not even explaining why he could do something so incredibly selfish. “She’s happy now. Even with that bumbling idiot, Kuwabara.”
“But, Hiei---” Kurama protested.
“Don’t, fox.” Hiei finally looked up at him, eyes cold and expression closed. “There are some things, even for you, that I won’t compromise on.”
It was incredibly selfish. Yukina deserved to know, if only so she could end her heartbreaking uncertainty. But Kurama knew there was no arguing with the stubborn apparition once his mind was made up. Even if he didn’t like Hiei’s decision, it wasn’t his place to interfere. Though Hiei was foolish if he thought Kurama would let it go forever.
He sighed, finally relenting. “Very well. I’ll keep your secret---for now.”
Hiei shot him an unfathomable look. “Hn.”
A tense silence fellbetween them as Kurama ironically thought that the demon’s reaction wasn’t exactly what he’d been expecting.
“What about the slayer?” Hiei abruptly growled.
“Sango?” Kurama shrugged, still disgruntled. “I’ll tell her, but leave the decision up to her, as I did you.”
“Hn.”
The uncomfortable silence dragged out again, the tension only broken when Hiei demanded softly, “Why did you do it, fox? Why did you force Shigure to revoke his price on our behalf?”
“I had to,” Kurama said simply, voice rough. He looked away, lest the golden swirl of emotion through his green eyes betray him. “You’re my friends. I could do nothing less.”
“Friends.” There was a certain bite in the fire demon’s voice that made Kurama look back at him with a frown.“You don’t torture your victims unduly, fox. I know how Shigure died.”
Kurama felt his own anger rising. Hiei was cutting too close to the bone, even for him. “There lay a blood-debt between us,” he growled, an edge to his normally mild tone. He wasn’t the only one allowed to keep their damn secrets.
“A blood-debt,” Hiei mused, the scorn prevalent. Tension fairly crackled in the air between them. Kurama, eyes in sun, stolidly met the challenge in the apparition’s flat stare.
“I care about you,” Kurama let himself admit, though he hastily amended, “You’re my friends.”
“The taiji-ya is not your friend,” Hiei spat. “She’s more to you, fox. Admit it.”
It finally lay there between them, the stark truth that had tainted their close understanding and which they’d both been deliberately ignoring for so long.
“And not to you?” Kurama quickly challenged, hoping to deflect the demon’s direction.
Hiei’s eyes glittered. “Manipulating the conversation won’t change the fact that you love her, fox, as much as I.”
Kurama inhaled sharply, but did not refute it. The truth was finally, completely out, and he wondered what now lay between them, for they seemed at a standstill, staring at each other. He searched for the right words, his agile mind thinking too many thoughts to pin any single one down. Would Hiei press his claim now on the taiji-ya? Could he let him? He’d been so determined before to step aside for them, but he could not. Gods, he could not. Not now, anyway.
But---could they share her? Would that even be possible? For Hiei was not overly generous in his affection. In fact, the demon had always struck Kurama as rather territorial and jealous. That was one of the things he found most intriguing about the apparition, that Hiei embodied all of the fire of passion while denying it so utterly. Always controlling the darker emotions that burned ever so hot within him, so completely demonic in his darkness, even in the fierce will he exerted to control it.
What, he wondered, had changed? What had brought Hiei to this realization, this honesty with himself? What had made him whole?
*You.* The apparition’s thought came out of nowhere, spearing right through his own racing, jumbled distraction. Kurama started, his eyes focusing on the enigmatic red gaze.
“Hn.” Hiei smirked. “As always, fox, you think too damn much.”
And then he kissed him---hard.
Stunned, Kurama’s green eyes widened at the feel of that hot mouth on his, the firm lips as hard as the strong, compact body pressing him back into the chair. The capable, sword-calloused palms curled around his shoulders with a hard grip, blunt fingers digging as if daring to shake him loose.
Kurama’s eyes slowly closed, and he gave himself up to the feel of that hard mouth moving over his, so different from a woman’s softness, but not so that it was a turn off. No, there was something so indefinably male about a man’s kiss, so different from a woman’s and yet so much the same. For Hiei’s lips were softening even as his were, the savage claiming turning into something almost tentative and exploring as they exchanged heated breaths and their mouths slid along each other‘s. He could feel Hiei’s curiosity burning into his mind, how the demon compared his own mouth to Sango’s. It was somehow bleeding through their own kiss, so that he experienced with Hiei that memory of the taiji-ya’s warm mouth even as he was dominated by the apparition’s rough caress.
Yes, Hiei would try to dominate, that was in his nature. And Kurama wouldn’t always be averse to letting him. But Kurama was also fully youkai, and not one to take the challenge to his own inherent authority lightly. And he had a skill the fire demon lacked, eager as Hiei was. And he ruthlessly used that skill to swiftly turn the tables on the apparition, and show the fire demon he could dominate in turn.
His elegant hands rose to cup Hiei’s hard jaw, tilting it slightly as he deliberately licked across the demon’s lips. Hiei made an inarticulate sound, and Kurama smiled darkly against his mouth before deepening the kiss. His tongue swept inside to twine with his, exploring the demon’s heat as he always desired. He used every sensual weapon in his considerable arsenal, even letting his canines grow so that he could nip the demon’s lips sharply, showing him by example the darker pleasures a demon was capable of. Hiei stiffened, and Kurama opened his eyes just enough to see the smoldering heat in the heavy-lidded, scarlet gaze. He moaned at the rampant desire, so much a challenge and so much a promise.
And then he closed his eyes and groaned, tilting his head back as he felt that hot mouth leave his to nibble down his jaw. He hissed at the feel of Hiei’s fangs now nipping him in turn, that hot tongue lathing a path down his throat. His Adam’s apple worked convulsively, and Hiei’s dark chuckle made him smirk. Yes, the demon was an apt student, plucking the thoughts right out of his very mind and turning the tables back on him. Oh, kami, he had never felt such heat. Hiei was like a burning brand in his arms, and Kurama could not keep the feral growl as the demon trailed hot kisses down his clavicle, opening the first button on his silk shirt...
Kurama made an inarticulate noise, and wrapped his hands around Hiei’s wrists, stopping him from going further. Hiei growled, but Kurama only tightened his grip to show he meant it. “Hiei, stop. What---what is the meaning of this?”
“The meaning of…?” Hiei suddenly sat back with a short, sharp bark of laughter, and Kurama let his wrists go, baffled by the short demon’s ironic derision. For he could feel the subtle undercurrent of irony to Hiei’s thoughts, though the link wasn’t as close as before. Was the kiss, then, only a cruel mockery? He didn’t think Hiei was capable of that kind of cruelty, at least, not towards him, but---
“You can be such a fool sometimes, fox,” Hiei said, the bite in his voice one of impatience.
Offended, Kurama growled, his eyes quickly heating into liquid gold even as he tried to wrestle his emotions back. With Youko and him now twined, it was so much more difficult to control the emotions so much closer to the surface. “Don’t mock me, demon,” he said sharply, the throaty growl of his kitsune form bleeding through his normally mild voice.
“And don’t think so little of me, fox,” Hiei said, red eyes cool and dangerous. “There are lines, even for you.”
“Lines,” Kurama said in disbelief. “And you didn’t just cross one, Hiei?”
Hiei smirked, surprisingly sitting back on the bed and eyes glowing with derisive amusement. “Hn. You should know I will always test the limits, fox.”
“That’s not funny,” Kurama said coldly. “And this is not some trifle for your amusement.” This was his heart, which was wrenched painfully by the scorn in the fire demon’s scathing gaze.
“My amusement?” Hiei spat. “You fool!”
Kurama felt his eyes bleeding as the anger escaped him. “You dare---”
“Yes, I dare.” Hiei growled back, aura darkening around him as his own anger rose. “I will always dare, Kurama. Because I know you won’t let yourself. Because you have some stupid self-limiting fear that won’t take the chance on being hurt. When you know damn well that you’re limiting yourself because of that same fear.”
“You say that to me,” Kurama growled, fingers digging into the armrests and claws elongating in his growing fury. “When you left Sango, after what you shared? You’re telling me it wasn’t fear that drove you to abandon her when she needed you most?”
The fierce glitter suddenly died from the challenging red stare, and Hiei admitted quietly, “It was.”
Taken aback, Kurama’s own anger suddenly dissipated like smoke. “Hiei---”
“Hn.” Hiei crossed his arms. “Think I can’t admit when I’ve been wrong, fox? You give me too little credit.”
Kurama let his chagrin show. “That’s true. It seems we both have some things we need to work on. Because you’re right. It is fear that often stops me from even admitting to myself how deeply I care about---others.”
“Others,” Hiei scoffed, that challenge back in his red eyes. “You’re not going to admit it, are you, fox?”
Kurama’s eyes narrowed.
“Hn.” Hiei’s lips quirked, as if he found it amusing that he would have to be the one to ignite it. “Fine. And since the only way I think you’ll believe me is if I spell it out in a way you can’t argue, than---”
The Jagan’s expansion was the only warning Kurama had before Hiei was there, inside his mind, in a way that had never happened before. The fire demon pierced through the surface layer to delve into pure emotion in an intimacy that had never occurred before between them. Hiei would never dare drop his barriers to expose himself so fully to another, and Kurama’s surprise was met with a dark laugh, as if Hiei knew that, too. And the dark flame of his thoughts wrapped around Kurama’s like an embrace, and Kurama suddenly understood. Understood in a way that Hiei was right, in a way he could not argue.
For the demon loved him. Him, Kurama, with all his faults and flaws and strengths and unique qualities. Loved him for his complexity and ruthlessness, forgave him his mistakes and embraced him for his tenderness and consideration, and yes, even for his ruthlessness and sometimes petty narcissism. Loved him for the darker side of his youkai nature, now so much closer than ever before with Youko and he as one, and for the lighter compassion of his human heart. Accepted him for not only who he was, but what he was, making no excuses and holding no punches, but not caring, either, as was so inherently Hiei.
For Hiei didn’t care. Had never, could never, the fire demon having always accepted himself as he was at any given moment with no self-question but for those raised in the last few months by Mukuro. For Kurama understood now how the former king had impelled Hiei for the first time to examine his values and perceptions and that which he’d always taken for granted or ignored. He understood, too, how the apparition had hated that self-examination, how the quiet doubt had eaten at him, for it was the first time he had ever felt it.
He understood, too, how it was tangled with the emptiness Hiei found in his life, the regret he had over what he had done to Sango, and yes, even the hunger that lay there in the ignored feelings the taiji-ya had engendered. The desire and protectiveness, even the anger at what Hiei considered a weakness of emotion and a betrayal of self for another that Hiei---so narcissistic as he, and Youko, could be, an extreme version of anyone’s natural tendency for self-love---could not understand.
Kurama knew, now, how long Hiei had held a personal regard for him, even against the fire demon’s own better judgment. It was why Hiei could forgive the betrayal of their earlier alliance, when they had robbed Spirit World of the Forlorn Hope and the Shadow Sword. He’d somehow gained the fire demon’s grudging respect, and that humbled Kurama, for Hiei did not give it easily.
Over time, that respect and general regard had turned to friendship, and even, some understanding. Hiei, never one to cross-examine his motives, had never given it thought---until the fight with Mukuro had removed the last willful blinders from his eyes, sweeping aside the darkness of deliberate denial and opening them to the truth.
And Kurama was right. Once Hiei had let go of his fears, and yes, even the hatred engendered by the numerous betrayals already suffered by the Amiko, and finally freed his emotions, they burned hot within him. Finally allowing himself to admit that he did care for both the fox and the slayer, it was all-consuming and absolute. The clarity and acceptance of that love was so readily embraced by the fire demon that it humbled Kurama for his own continual self-question.
For there was a humbling truth in that understanding---Hiei was not, when all was said and done, attracted to men. But he understood Kurama was. And he accepted from Kurama what he would not from any other, and simply because Kurama was important to him. And while that might sit uneasily with Kurama---that Hiei would simply accept a sexual side to their relationship merely because he wanted it---that was not it, either.
Hiei, uncaring Hiei, simply did not care. He saw the world in a uniquely simplistic, so-typically-Hiei way. He accepted that he loved both of them, for who they were and what they did for him, and did not care what body or form they wore. Male, female, even hanyou or human or kitsune, it did not matter. Hiei could not even understand why it meant so much to Kurama---those delicate social lines of what one would welcome or not during intimacy. Hiei had grown up with no social niceties, no greater mores other than the rough disregard instilled by the bandit who indifferently raised him. He even defined his nebulous annoyance with society’s dictates by claiming society had rejected him long before he rejected it.
And that was that.
Simply, utterly, completely understood and accepted, end of story. For there was still that---some might say, failing---of Hiei’s that he didn’t question himself. He just accepted what he felt as what he felt at any given time. The only regret the fire demon had was for how long it took him to open his eyes to the truth, but even that was negligible, when all was said and done. For Hiei had a certain fatalism that believed things happened when they did for a reason he didn’t care to define or worry about. And that---
“Hn.” Hiei’s smirked, gently withdrawing from the deep sharing of their innermost thoughts, his calloused palm gently cupping Kurama’s cheek, still so uncertain with what caress might be welcomed or not, and from him by anyone. “You think too much, fox. My feelings do not need to be analyzed to death. Just accept them.”
“Heh.” A slow smile curved the corner of Kurama’s mouth as he stared into the red eyes, so lightly mocking. Hiei had always understood him so fully, perhaps even more than he, himself, did. But Hiei was right. He could do nothing but accept that it was what it was. And while that was normally so pessimistic a statement, it wasn’t now.
Because it was what it was---which was wonderful.
“Let’s go,” Hiei said, getting stiffly to his feet.
“Where?” Kurama asked, careful not to help him, as Hiei would not want that, even now.
“To collect our third.”
****
Second A/N: God I wuv love-triangles. Real love-triangles. (wink)
WARNING! SPOILERS FOR YYH CHAPTER BLACK, THE THREE KINGS SAGA, YAOI LIME
Chapter Forty-Two
Hiei blinked.
“Hey, three eyes. Glad you’re back from the dead.”
*Yusuke,* his mind supplied, and grunted a short reply as he forced his reluctant body to move, his muscles knotting when he tried to sit up.
“Here, let me help you.” A strong arm wrapped around his wide shoulders and gently propped him up against the piled pillows. The earthy scent of growing things filled his nose, and Hiei looked up into verdant green eyes beneath a fiery fall of long, red hair.
“Kurama,” he croaked, his throat dry. How long had he been out?
“A full day,” the redhead supplied, solicitously offering him a water bottle. Had he spoken that thought aloud?
*No,* the fox’s warm voice echoed inside his head. Hiei’s red eyes narrowed as the fox deliberately looked away and back towards their friend, who stood on the other side of the hospital bed, arms crossed and grin stupid.
“What…happened?” Hiei demanded between sips of water. Drawing his knees up, he pretended it wasn’t weakness that had him resting his elbows on them to hide the betraying tremor of fatigued muscles.
“Well, I’d say you got your ass kicked by a girl,” Yusuke started teasing and then abruptly quit, catching sight of Kurama’s expression. Scratching the back of his neck, he shrugged. “Um, what I meant to say is, that you basically passed out after Anei---”
“Sango,” he growled.
“Who the hell can keep track?” Yusuke demanded, and then rolled his eyes at the expression on both. “Fine. Sango, then. Well, your dumb ass finally passed out after exhausting yourself using the Jagan to watch Sango get her ass kicked.”
“She didn’t get her ass kicked, Yusuke.” Kurama straightened, look ineffable. “Sango did very well, considering her adversary was an S-class demon.”
“I’ll say.” Yusuke grinned. “Koku’s one bad ass bitch. Crazy as all hell, but still packing quite a bit of power.”
“Could you do so well, detective?” The bite in the fox’s soft voice surprised Hiei, for Kurama wasn’t normally so confrontational.
“I guess we’ll find out, won’t we, Kurama?” There was a silent exchange between the two, as if Yusuke was challenging Kurama in turn. A small smile tugged at the fox’s mouth.
“Heh. Yes, we will.”
“Would you mind telling me what that’s about?” Hiei demanded crossly, and the two men started, as if surprised that he was still there.Hmph. Humans.
Yusuke shrugged uncomfortably. “Ah, it’s not really a big deal. I’m just going up against Yomi tomorrow night, since I won through the third round a couple of hours ago.”
“I disagree,” Kurama said. “It’s quite a big deal, detective.”
It was a big deal, actually. Yomi was twice as powerful as Yusuke, no matter how hard the boy had trained over the past year. Hiei frowned, but knew Yusuke wouldn’t care for his opinion on the matter, so changed the subject. “What about you, fox?”
An elegant brow rose. “What about me?”
“Did you make it through or not?” Hiei snapped, irritated that he had missed the whole third round after over-extending himself. He wouldn’t admit that the damn detective was right. He shouldn’t have used the Jagan to watch Sango fight after exhausting himself in the battle with Mukuro.
“He didn’t participate,” Yusuke said, scowling.
Hiei’s red eyes cut to the fox, silently demanding an explanation.
Kurama shrugged. “I withdrew. I was too spent from my own battle in the second round to be able to fight effectively.” His green eyes turned opaque as he stared somewhere past the detective’s shoulder as he quietly added, “Besides, I already got what I needed from this tournament.”
Studying the serene expression, Hiei grunted. Very well. He’d leave it alone for now, but Kurama owed him an explanation once Yusuke left.
*Agreed,* Kurama silently promised, and Hiei smirked. He should probably be disturbed over how easily they could read one another’s thoughts now, but he wasn’t, and that was ever enough for him.
“Where’s the hanyou?” he demanded instead, and Kurama smiled faintly at the deliberate moniker.
“Resting,” the fox reassured him. “In her own room, on the third floor. Jin is with her.”
“Jin.” Hiei scowled, a strange jealousy stealing through him at the thought of that barely-coherent buffoon alone with the taiji-ya. The feeling startled him, but he simply accepted it as he always had anything. What he felt, he felt. He’d never questioned himself before, and he wouldn’t start now. But he didn’t have to like it.
Yusuke pinned him with a quizzical look, which slowly brightened as that annoying grin grew. “Oh-ho! What’s this? Are you jealous, three eyes?”
“Shut up, detective,” Hiei reflexively growled, and surprisingly, Yusuke did. Though the detective’s insight was uncomfortable, for he suddenly started inching toward the door.
“Well, I think I should leave you two alone so you can talk…” Yusuke flipped a wave over his shoulder. “Glad to see you doing better, short stuff!”
Silence descended as Hiei stared at Kurama and Kurama stared out the window.
“Out with it, fox.”
Starting, Kurama turned to look down at him. He nodded, and brusquely took a seat on the padded chair between his bed and the empty one beyond. The fiery head bowed, as if the fox were considering how best to formulate his response.
ooOOOoo
The fire demon’s testy impatience was such a part of him it made Kurama smile faintly even as he steepled his fingers in front of him and began slowly, “You know my history. I don’t have to explain the dilemma that has existed for me since my human mother first fell ill.”
Hiei sharply nodded, those red eyes missing nothing. They rarely did.
“You know the struggle inside my heart, whether or not I should give in to Youko, and finally do as he’d always intended---”
Hiei’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t interrupt.
“Well, that question has finally been settled.” Shifting his gaze, Kurama stared directly into the scarlet eyes, letting the golden light seep through the dark green depths.
“Hn.” Not unexpected, that ambiguous grunt, but the smile wasn’t.
“I’m glad, fox.”
Surprised, Kurama looked at him. Hiei only smirked.
“There’s more,” he warned.
“Hn. Thought so.” Hiei crossed his arms and waited.
“Shigure is dead.”
Hiei shrugged, showing surprising unconcern for that fact. Troubled, Kurama explained slowly, “Before he died, he told me of the demands he made of both you and the taiji-ya---”
“The taiji-ya?” Hiei questioned sharply, indifference fading.
Surprised, Kurama said, “You didn’t know? That it was Shigure who preformed the heart transplant on Sango so long ago?”
“No,” Hiei growled. “Explain, fox.”
He did, using short words of what he had learned from both the surgeon and the slayer herself. Hiei’s eyes narrowed as he reiterated the promise Shigure had demanded in exchange for Kagura’s heart. The similarity to his own promise was not lost on the fire demon, and the rising anger that radiated off of the short apparition in dark waves made Kurama glad that Hiei was still so low on energy.
“It’s fortunate he’s dead,” Hiei said when Kurama finished, fairly seething with malice as his right hand, the dragon once again wrapped beneath sacred sutras, fisted. Ghostly black flames swirled over the bandages before subsiding.
“He suffered,” was all Kurama offered, and Hiei smiled. It was a chilling smile, but one Kurama understood.
“Hn.”
“But more importantly, Hiei, before he died, I made certain the surgeon took back the oaths he demanded of both you and Sango,” Kurama said gently, offering the one gift he could to one of those he loved most. He knew Hiei could not return his regard in the way he would have liked---the fire demon was not as he, able to love a man as much as he could love a woman. But that didn’t mean Kurama couldn’t love the apparition in a way that he might, and that Hiei would welcome. As a friend and a brother. And this was one gift he could give him, at least.
“You can tell Yukina now,” he softly explained, and met the smoldering red eyes that cut to his with a compassionate look.
Hiei looked down, both fists curling on top of his bent knees. “It doesn’t matter. She will never know.”
Shocked, Kurama sucked in his breath. “But---why?”
He couldn’t understand it. Here he was giving Hiei the chance to have the family he’d never had and finally lay to rest poor Yukina’s futile search for the twin brother who stood so close and yet still refusing to give her that.
“I don’t want her to know,” Hiei only said, not even explaining why he could do something so incredibly selfish. “She’s happy now. Even with that bumbling idiot, Kuwabara.”
“But, Hiei---” Kurama protested.
“Don’t, fox.” Hiei finally looked up at him, eyes cold and expression closed. “There are some things, even for you, that I won’t compromise on.”
It was incredibly selfish. Yukina deserved to know, if only so she could end her heartbreaking uncertainty. But Kurama knew there was no arguing with the stubborn apparition once his mind was made up. Even if he didn’t like Hiei’s decision, it wasn’t his place to interfere. Though Hiei was foolish if he thought Kurama would let it go forever.
He sighed, finally relenting. “Very well. I’ll keep your secret---for now.”
Hiei shot him an unfathomable look. “Hn.”
A tense silence fellbetween them as Kurama ironically thought that the demon’s reaction wasn’t exactly what he’d been expecting.
“What about the slayer?” Hiei abruptly growled.
“Sango?” Kurama shrugged, still disgruntled. “I’ll tell her, but leave the decision up to her, as I did you.”
“Hn.”
The uncomfortable silence dragged out again, the tension only broken when Hiei demanded softly, “Why did you do it, fox? Why did you force Shigure to revoke his price on our behalf?”
“I had to,” Kurama said simply, voice rough. He looked away, lest the golden swirl of emotion through his green eyes betray him. “You’re my friends. I could do nothing less.”
“Friends.” There was a certain bite in the fire demon’s voice that made Kurama look back at him with a frown.“You don’t torture your victims unduly, fox. I know how Shigure died.”
Kurama felt his own anger rising. Hiei was cutting too close to the bone, even for him. “There lay a blood-debt between us,” he growled, an edge to his normally mild tone. He wasn’t the only one allowed to keep their damn secrets.
“A blood-debt,” Hiei mused, the scorn prevalent. Tension fairly crackled in the air between them. Kurama, eyes in sun, stolidly met the challenge in the apparition’s flat stare.
“I care about you,” Kurama let himself admit, though he hastily amended, “You’re my friends.”
“The taiji-ya is not your friend,” Hiei spat. “She’s more to you, fox. Admit it.”
It finally lay there between them, the stark truth that had tainted their close understanding and which they’d both been deliberately ignoring for so long.
“And not to you?” Kurama quickly challenged, hoping to deflect the demon’s direction.
Hiei’s eyes glittered. “Manipulating the conversation won’t change the fact that you love her, fox, as much as I.”
Kurama inhaled sharply, but did not refute it. The truth was finally, completely out, and he wondered what now lay between them, for they seemed at a standstill, staring at each other. He searched for the right words, his agile mind thinking too many thoughts to pin any single one down. Would Hiei press his claim now on the taiji-ya? Could he let him? He’d been so determined before to step aside for them, but he could not. Gods, he could not. Not now, anyway.
But---could they share her? Would that even be possible? For Hiei was not overly generous in his affection. In fact, the demon had always struck Kurama as rather territorial and jealous. That was one of the things he found most intriguing about the apparition, that Hiei embodied all of the fire of passion while denying it so utterly. Always controlling the darker emotions that burned ever so hot within him, so completely demonic in his darkness, even in the fierce will he exerted to control it.
What, he wondered, had changed? What had brought Hiei to this realization, this honesty with himself? What had made him whole?
*You.* The apparition’s thought came out of nowhere, spearing right through his own racing, jumbled distraction. Kurama started, his eyes focusing on the enigmatic red gaze.
“Hn.” Hiei smirked. “As always, fox, you think too damn much.”
And then he kissed him---hard.
Stunned, Kurama’s green eyes widened at the feel of that hot mouth on his, the firm lips as hard as the strong, compact body pressing him back into the chair. The capable, sword-calloused palms curled around his shoulders with a hard grip, blunt fingers digging as if daring to shake him loose.
Kurama’s eyes slowly closed, and he gave himself up to the feel of that hard mouth moving over his, so different from a woman’s softness, but not so that it was a turn off. No, there was something so indefinably male about a man’s kiss, so different from a woman’s and yet so much the same. For Hiei’s lips were softening even as his were, the savage claiming turning into something almost tentative and exploring as they exchanged heated breaths and their mouths slid along each other‘s. He could feel Hiei’s curiosity burning into his mind, how the demon compared his own mouth to Sango’s. It was somehow bleeding through their own kiss, so that he experienced with Hiei that memory of the taiji-ya’s warm mouth even as he was dominated by the apparition’s rough caress.
Yes, Hiei would try to dominate, that was in his nature. And Kurama wouldn’t always be averse to letting him. But Kurama was also fully youkai, and not one to take the challenge to his own inherent authority lightly. And he had a skill the fire demon lacked, eager as Hiei was. And he ruthlessly used that skill to swiftly turn the tables on the apparition, and show the fire demon he could dominate in turn.
His elegant hands rose to cup Hiei’s hard jaw, tilting it slightly as he deliberately licked across the demon’s lips. Hiei made an inarticulate sound, and Kurama smiled darkly against his mouth before deepening the kiss. His tongue swept inside to twine with his, exploring the demon’s heat as he always desired. He used every sensual weapon in his considerable arsenal, even letting his canines grow so that he could nip the demon’s lips sharply, showing him by example the darker pleasures a demon was capable of. Hiei stiffened, and Kurama opened his eyes just enough to see the smoldering heat in the heavy-lidded, scarlet gaze. He moaned at the rampant desire, so much a challenge and so much a promise.
And then he closed his eyes and groaned, tilting his head back as he felt that hot mouth leave his to nibble down his jaw. He hissed at the feel of Hiei’s fangs now nipping him in turn, that hot tongue lathing a path down his throat. His Adam’s apple worked convulsively, and Hiei’s dark chuckle made him smirk. Yes, the demon was an apt student, plucking the thoughts right out of his very mind and turning the tables back on him. Oh, kami, he had never felt such heat. Hiei was like a burning brand in his arms, and Kurama could not keep the feral growl as the demon trailed hot kisses down his clavicle, opening the first button on his silk shirt...
Kurama made an inarticulate noise, and wrapped his hands around Hiei’s wrists, stopping him from going further. Hiei growled, but Kurama only tightened his grip to show he meant it. “Hiei, stop. What---what is the meaning of this?”
“The meaning of…?” Hiei suddenly sat back with a short, sharp bark of laughter, and Kurama let his wrists go, baffled by the short demon’s ironic derision. For he could feel the subtle undercurrent of irony to Hiei’s thoughts, though the link wasn’t as close as before. Was the kiss, then, only a cruel mockery? He didn’t think Hiei was capable of that kind of cruelty, at least, not towards him, but---
“You can be such a fool sometimes, fox,” Hiei said, the bite in his voice one of impatience.
Offended, Kurama growled, his eyes quickly heating into liquid gold even as he tried to wrestle his emotions back. With Youko and him now twined, it was so much more difficult to control the emotions so much closer to the surface. “Don’t mock me, demon,” he said sharply, the throaty growl of his kitsune form bleeding through his normally mild voice.
“And don’t think so little of me, fox,” Hiei said, red eyes cool and dangerous. “There are lines, even for you.”
“Lines,” Kurama said in disbelief. “And you didn’t just cross one, Hiei?”
Hiei smirked, surprisingly sitting back on the bed and eyes glowing with derisive amusement. “Hn. You should know I will always test the limits, fox.”
“That’s not funny,” Kurama said coldly. “And this is not some trifle for your amusement.” This was his heart, which was wrenched painfully by the scorn in the fire demon’s scathing gaze.
“My amusement?” Hiei spat. “You fool!”
Kurama felt his eyes bleeding as the anger escaped him. “You dare---”
“Yes, I dare.” Hiei growled back, aura darkening around him as his own anger rose. “I will always dare, Kurama. Because I know you won’t let yourself. Because you have some stupid self-limiting fear that won’t take the chance on being hurt. When you know damn well that you’re limiting yourself because of that same fear.”
“You say that to me,” Kurama growled, fingers digging into the armrests and claws elongating in his growing fury. “When you left Sango, after what you shared? You’re telling me it wasn’t fear that drove you to abandon her when she needed you most?”
The fierce glitter suddenly died from the challenging red stare, and Hiei admitted quietly, “It was.”
Taken aback, Kurama’s own anger suddenly dissipated like smoke. “Hiei---”
“Hn.” Hiei crossed his arms. “Think I can’t admit when I’ve been wrong, fox? You give me too little credit.”
Kurama let his chagrin show. “That’s true. It seems we both have some things we need to work on. Because you’re right. It is fear that often stops me from even admitting to myself how deeply I care about---others.”
“Others,” Hiei scoffed, that challenge back in his red eyes. “You’re not going to admit it, are you, fox?”
Kurama’s eyes narrowed.
“Hn.” Hiei’s lips quirked, as if he found it amusing that he would have to be the one to ignite it. “Fine. And since the only way I think you’ll believe me is if I spell it out in a way you can’t argue, than---”
The Jagan’s expansion was the only warning Kurama had before Hiei was there, inside his mind, in a way that had never happened before. The fire demon pierced through the surface layer to delve into pure emotion in an intimacy that had never occurred before between them. Hiei would never dare drop his barriers to expose himself so fully to another, and Kurama’s surprise was met with a dark laugh, as if Hiei knew that, too. And the dark flame of his thoughts wrapped around Kurama’s like an embrace, and Kurama suddenly understood. Understood in a way that Hiei was right, in a way he could not argue.
For the demon loved him. Him, Kurama, with all his faults and flaws and strengths and unique qualities. Loved him for his complexity and ruthlessness, forgave him his mistakes and embraced him for his tenderness and consideration, and yes, even for his ruthlessness and sometimes petty narcissism. Loved him for the darker side of his youkai nature, now so much closer than ever before with Youko and he as one, and for the lighter compassion of his human heart. Accepted him for not only who he was, but what he was, making no excuses and holding no punches, but not caring, either, as was so inherently Hiei.
For Hiei didn’t care. Had never, could never, the fire demon having always accepted himself as he was at any given moment with no self-question but for those raised in the last few months by Mukuro. For Kurama understood now how the former king had impelled Hiei for the first time to examine his values and perceptions and that which he’d always taken for granted or ignored. He understood, too, how the apparition had hated that self-examination, how the quiet doubt had eaten at him, for it was the first time he had ever felt it.
He understood, too, how it was tangled with the emptiness Hiei found in his life, the regret he had over what he had done to Sango, and yes, even the hunger that lay there in the ignored feelings the taiji-ya had engendered. The desire and protectiveness, even the anger at what Hiei considered a weakness of emotion and a betrayal of self for another that Hiei---so narcissistic as he, and Youko, could be, an extreme version of anyone’s natural tendency for self-love---could not understand.
Kurama knew, now, how long Hiei had held a personal regard for him, even against the fire demon’s own better judgment. It was why Hiei could forgive the betrayal of their earlier alliance, when they had robbed Spirit World of the Forlorn Hope and the Shadow Sword. He’d somehow gained the fire demon’s grudging respect, and that humbled Kurama, for Hiei did not give it easily.
Over time, that respect and general regard had turned to friendship, and even, some understanding. Hiei, never one to cross-examine his motives, had never given it thought---until the fight with Mukuro had removed the last willful blinders from his eyes, sweeping aside the darkness of deliberate denial and opening them to the truth.
And Kurama was right. Once Hiei had let go of his fears, and yes, even the hatred engendered by the numerous betrayals already suffered by the Amiko, and finally freed his emotions, they burned hot within him. Finally allowing himself to admit that he did care for both the fox and the slayer, it was all-consuming and absolute. The clarity and acceptance of that love was so readily embraced by the fire demon that it humbled Kurama for his own continual self-question.
For there was a humbling truth in that understanding---Hiei was not, when all was said and done, attracted to men. But he understood Kurama was. And he accepted from Kurama what he would not from any other, and simply because Kurama was important to him. And while that might sit uneasily with Kurama---that Hiei would simply accept a sexual side to their relationship merely because he wanted it---that was not it, either.
Hiei, uncaring Hiei, simply did not care. He saw the world in a uniquely simplistic, so-typically-Hiei way. He accepted that he loved both of them, for who they were and what they did for him, and did not care what body or form they wore. Male, female, even hanyou or human or kitsune, it did not matter. Hiei could not even understand why it meant so much to Kurama---those delicate social lines of what one would welcome or not during intimacy. Hiei had grown up with no social niceties, no greater mores other than the rough disregard instilled by the bandit who indifferently raised him. He even defined his nebulous annoyance with society’s dictates by claiming society had rejected him long before he rejected it.
And that was that.
Simply, utterly, completely understood and accepted, end of story. For there was still that---some might say, failing---of Hiei’s that he didn’t question himself. He just accepted what he felt as what he felt at any given time. The only regret the fire demon had was for how long it took him to open his eyes to the truth, but even that was negligible, when all was said and done. For Hiei had a certain fatalism that believed things happened when they did for a reason he didn’t care to define or worry about. And that---
“Hn.” Hiei’s smirked, gently withdrawing from the deep sharing of their innermost thoughts, his calloused palm gently cupping Kurama’s cheek, still so uncertain with what caress might be welcomed or not, and from him by anyone. “You think too much, fox. My feelings do not need to be analyzed to death. Just accept them.”
“Heh.” A slow smile curved the corner of Kurama’s mouth as he stared into the red eyes, so lightly mocking. Hiei had always understood him so fully, perhaps even more than he, himself, did. But Hiei was right. He could do nothing but accept that it was what it was. And while that was normally so pessimistic a statement, it wasn’t now.
Because it was what it was---which was wonderful.
“Let’s go,” Hiei said, getting stiffly to his feet.
“Where?” Kurama asked, careful not to help him, as Hiei would not want that, even now.
“To collect our third.”
****
Second A/N: God I wuv love-triangles. Real love-triangles. (wink)