InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Impediment Between You and Me ❯ Loss of Me ( Chapter 13 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Tears of An Impassive Nymph 
Naraku erased Rin's memories and keeps her by his side in a castle located in the north. For this reason, Rin is given a chance to start a new life. However, she could feel her chest ache with pain and would drown herself with tears everytime she sees the yellow crescent hanging in the dark sky. She's having all these unspeakable feelings......yet most importantly, she feels lonely. If you are given a chance to have your memories be erased, what would you do?
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.27.2004 | Updated On: 12.30.2005 | Pages: 5 | Words: 6.3K | Visits: 459 | Status: Completed
Naraku erased Rin's memories and keeps her by his side in a castle located in the north. For this reason, Rin is given a chance to start a new life. However, she could feel her chest ache with pain and would drown herself with tears everytime she sees the yellow crescent hanging in the dark sky. She's having all these unspeakable feelings......yet most importantly, she feels lonely. If you are given a chance to have your memories be erased, what would you do?
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.27.2004 | Updated On: 12.30.2005 | Pages: 5 | Words: 6.3K | Visits: 459 | Status: Completed
NOTE
Kagura - Kagura from Fruits Basket (in regular fonts)
Kagura- Kagura from Inuyasha (in italics)
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Inuyasha and Fruits Basket nor do I have anything that has to do with these two wonderful animations. They solely belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Takaya Natsuki respectively.
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The Impediment Between You and Me
Chapter 12 : Loss of Me
Rin felt extremely nervous and could feel her heart pounded violently against her chest. 'The one who saved and accepted me years ago is waiting for me behind these doors...There's nothing to be anxious about...Just stay calm.' Then she inhaled deeply and slid away the door before her...
Dragging the ends of her blue kimono behind her feet, Rin slowly entered the room with cautious. Her chocolate eyes wondered through the large area until she spotted a figure with long wavy dark hair that was tied up by a green ribbon, standing on the porch, studying the beauty of the everlasting winter. Then the mysterious creature turned around and stared at the visitor with a blank expression. Wishing to have a private moment with the girl; he nodded to signal Kagura, who stood at the doorway to leave. Following her order, Kagura closed the doors softly and left.
Wearing his white overcoat, he started his way back into the room and stopped in front of the girl who had her feet planted on the hard floor. The two stood there silently, studying each other's features as the winter breeze plays its quiet tune. For some reason, Rin felt her movement became restricted. She found herself bounded by the intense gaze of those crimson eyes and felt exhausted like her soul was being drained away. With her flushed cheeks and agitated spirit, she stood there still, waiting for the stranger before her to speak. Yet his action was beyond her imagination and she staggered for a bit.
"It's been quite awhile since I last saw those splendid dark eyes of yours..." he whispered as he caressed a strand of her silky hair, and inhaled its deep fragrance for a quick moment. Then the tall figure averted his gaze from the girl, breaking their tension yet tempting her, catching her full attention at the same time.
"So tell me? How does it feel like to be awake again? Or...you would rather continue to sleep for eternity; to abandon the forbidding world with your sad memories?"
'...abandon...my sad memories? My precious memories?' Clinging onto the side of the man's kimono, Rin stared at him, fuming with anxiety. 'Those words...just like what Ayame-san had told me. Before coming here, I convinced myself not to worry about it anymore, but now he talks about it...It once again strikes me deeply. Can I? Can I really ignore and let it go just like that?'
Naraku smirked at the girl, who was trembling weakly before him. "It's better not to refresh your mind with those unnecessary and meaningless sentiments of your past. And in illumination, you will only drown yourself with sorrow." Showing no signs of emotions, he stared at her, not bother giving away any further explanations. But somehow, he felt helpless and rather sorry for her situation.
'Why is he telling me this in such a way? He's making me feel like my memories are not worth to be discussed. Is he telling me that what I believed to be important and lack of is actually worthless?' Rin parted her lips, trying to speak her feelings. But she couldn't find the right words. She was angry. Angry at herself of losing her past and it being criticized by the stranger before her, an outsider who witnessed everything, things she yearned to know. She felt like a helpless fool, who teases by others totally and has no idea of what actually went wrong.
"If I were you, I would be in the least interest of wanting to know it. I just don't get the meaning behind all this. Are you going to live the rest of your life by tracing your shadow or to avoid the mistakes you have made if you know more about yourself?" he asked, brushing her hands away from him. Rin stood there frozen in disbelief because what Naraku described reflected exactly her thoughts. That was exactly what she had planned to do.
"I..."
"And if I reveal it, how can you tell whether I'm saying the truth or not? You are making complications for yourself. Why can't you just keep it this way? It's so simple and clean." Then he loosened the lock behind, and tied a strand of Rin's hair with his ribbon. Feeling embarrassed, the girl turned her back to him abruptly, hiding the blush on her face.
'...He was right. What's the point in knowing if he was to tell me a story that is full of lies? There is no difference between believing in fake memories and not knowing your past at all. But fake memories do give one false hopes, and he will live on like a fool with the created past which was thought to be forgotten until the day he no longer exist.' Deep in thought, she lowered her head and stared blankly. If she was to choose, she would rather...
"So after all that I have told you, do you still want to uncover your lost memories?"
Without giving him any response, Rin vanished from the room with an unpleasant atmosphere.
"Why didn't you just suck the rest of her soul right there?" questioned Kagura, who broke into the room after a few moments of Rin's departure.
"My plans would be ruined if I do so. Besides, her existence causes no concern to me because now she is close to nothing but an empty shell...she is too weak to retaliate...And those few remaining souls lingering within her will already be mine by the time you know it," calculating his plans, Naraku relied. And the female flapping her paper fan, was staring at her master with disgust.
(A/N : Some of you might be wondering about why Rin would still be alive after Naraku withdrew her soul. Well, base on the story of Inuyasha, the nature of heart is made up of four souls. Courage, Friendship, Love and Wisdom. And that was actually how the name of Shikon no Tama come up with. Shikon - Four Souls. I actually did studies before I start writing the story so that everything would make sense. I hope that solves your confusion.)
"Will she try to escape?"
"I doubt that would ever happen. Even if she does, there is no place for her to go or hide."
"True. How'bout those three troublemakers? Will they try to mislead her?"
"...They wouldn't dare," Naraku replied with a smirk.
"Heh...I can't believe you are letting this human girl be."
"She will prove to be of great use..."
"Yea...whatever."
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"Rin-chan!" The girl stopped in the hallway and turned to see Kagura coming up from behind her. "How was it? What did you talked about?"
"Nothing really."
"Nothing? Did he not tell you what you want to know?"
"No." Rin turned away, feeling exhausted about the topic being discussed over and over again. 'No he didn't. In fact, he told me to terminate that thought all together. If finding an answer from others is impossible then I guess my past remains as a mystery...Although I lost the opportunity of knowing more about myself, but at least I won't live like a fool.' With a cold expression, she continued her way back to her room.
"Rin-chan please wait!" Kagura grabbed her by the arm. "Come."
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Hatori, who was wearing a dark Chinese robe with detailed designs, sat still and watched his two energetic cousins chasing the girl with a green ribbon through the sea of prairies. They thought it would be a good idea if Rin could get some fresh air, and wishing she could recover her spirit soon. So the group traveled down south of the castle and this is where they ended up; a place where ice and snow are no longer visible but colours and hopefully some hints of Rin's memories.
Rin was dancing freely across the grassland and enjoying the warm sunlight beaming on her skin. Then she suddenly stopped when she detected the scent of wild flowers which she somehow felt familiar with; like she had experienced before, not once but many times. Confused, it was her first time in the wild after she regained conscious. She didn't understand...maybe it has something to do with her past.
'...What's this feeling? ...It seems like this has happened many times. Was I always like this out in the world...by myself? ...Or with someone else?' Rin's thought was then interrupted when she spotted a frozen plant that was covered in ice.
"No! Rin-chan don't touch it!" called Kagura, who saw Rin bringing her hand to the plant. But it was too late. By the time Rin reached it, the layer of ice shattered and the plant has awaked from its sleep. Then evil aura started to emit around the mysterious object and it suddenly transformed into an oversized life form.
"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Ayame and Hatori quickly rushed towards the direction of Rin's call as Kagura stood there shocked, worrying about her friend who was being restrained by poisonous vines. Then the two gentlemen arrived seconds later and were studying the creature before them.
Rin whimpered as the unknown form tightened its grip around her fragile body and could feel the heat of her skin that was being burnt by the deadly venom.
"Rin-chan!" Ayame called worriedly, whose white hair was brushing against his purple long robe.
"Guys, let's hurry!" exclaimed Kagura and the other two nodded in response.
So the group closed they eyes; concentrating their energy as two sharp objects began to materialize in front of Hatori and Ayame. Losing no time, the two grabbed the silver metals before them and closed onto their enemy. Ayame was slashing his rapier at the being like Hatori with his katana, and Kagura started casting spells to paralyze its movement. On the other hand, Rin forgot about her situation for a moment because she was absorbed by the shocking scene that was happening.
'...Did they just...?'
It took Ayame a few moments to tear down the vines that were rushing at him before he could release Rin from her position. Seeing the girl was no longer in danger, Hatori destroyed the creature with a finishing blow.
"Rin-chan, I'm sorry that it took us some time. Don't worry, I will cure you now," Kagura apologized as she studied the burns on Rin's neck and hands. Yet the confused girl with her damaged clothes, backed a few steps away from the three rescuers.
"...You are not humans...Are you?" Perplexed, Rin studied the three creatures before her, each with a black earring on their left.
"...That's right. We are no different than that creature we defeated a moment ago," Hatori declared, knowing someday the truth would be reveal.
"I'm sorry Rin-chan. We did not meant to hide anything from you, it's just that we worried you might feel bothered by the difference between our race. And we have no intention of hurting you, please believe us!" Kagura begged. Having no other choice, Rin decided to put faith in them. After all, they did risk their lives saving her from that monster.
"Thank you all for saving me," The girl stated, smiling to them.
"Rin-chan you are not afraid of us?" asked Kagura and Rin shook her head.
"It would not be appropriate, wouldn't it? You saved me and besides, did you forget that we are friends?" Upon hearing the girl's response, Kagura rushed towards Rin and hugged her joyfully. "Rin-chan arigato! Arigato!"
After Kagura calmed her emotion and healed her friend's wounds, the group departed the area and headed back to the castle.
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Before going to rest that evening, Rin stood at the porch of her room, studying the bright old crescent in the silent night.
'My memories...someday the whole picture will be revealed...Someday...But when will that day come? When will I be able to see it? Or I'm destined to live without it?...Aside from that, there is also something missing...something important...' she thought as she clutched her chest, where her heart responded with a throb. 'What could it be? And why is it hurting me so?' she stared at the moon with her glimmering eyes, longing for an answer. 'Why am I here questioning myself? Why am I here in the first place? I wonder what it would be like if I continued to sleep; forbid myself from the world of conscious. Maybe I shouldn't have waked... then I wouldn't have to suffer all these. Am I destined to live like this forever?' Holding the green ribbon she had untied from her hair a moment ago, she stared at it blankly and sighed.
'Now that my memories become a dream, so what is it that I'm seeking now? What's my purpose?What's the meaning of my existence! ...shirimasen...' Rin shut her eyes tightly as droplets of tears explored down her face, echoing the emptiness she was suffering deep down. ( JV : Shirimasen - I don't know )
Feeling physically and mentally exhausted, she decided to rest and conclude the unusual day with the wish of finding a reason behind her existence.
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The next morning, Kagura was standing in front of the entrance of Rin's room, staring at the wooden door.
'It's getting late. She has not awake yet?' questioned Kagura, who was getting worried because she knocked the door and called for a several of times and still no response from Rin. Then she finally opened the door and entered.
"Rin-chan?" she called while walking over to Rin's sleeping form. "Rin-chan daijoubu?" Slowly, the girl turned over and sat up straight on her bed, facing the visitor.
"...Kagura-chan?" Rin voiced dreamily.
"It's getting late already. Rin-chan let's get up, we are going out today. My cousins and I received a mission from Naraku-sama some moments ago and we decided to bring you with us. It's going to be exciting!"
Rin just stared at her blankly before going back to sleep and hided herself under the thick cover.
"Rin-chan?"
No response.
Feeling a bit frustrated because of being ignored, Kagura pulled the cover away from the girl. "Rin-chan what's wrong with you? It's not like you at all."
"Please let me sleep, just let me be," Rin uttered, her voice trembling slightly.
"No, I want you to come with us." Kagura insisted not because of her selfishness, but because she noticed the strange behaviour of her friend. Knowing the girl was not going to leave her alone, Rin slowly pulled herself up and stared at Kagura.
"Why? Why do you want me to come with you? It's not like anything it's going to change because of me being there..." Breaking the eye contact, Rin lowered her head. "I'm just a pathetic human girl." She then paused for a few seconds before she continued. "I was studying the moon and the shinning stars last night. It somehow calmed my senses and disheartened me at the same time. I felt like I'm one of those millions of stars above, so small and insignificant...causing me to realize my existence will not alter anything." She sighed weakly and looked into Kagura's eyes, where many unspeakable emotions laid. "Unlike Kagura-chan, Ayame-san and Hatori-san, I don't have any special skills... I'm weak and helpless...I even caused you troubles just like yesterday. Just with these reasons, I feel undeserving to live here and be accepted." Changing her attention to the site outside the window, Rin wondered if there is a place where she belong; a place where the question of her existence becomes unnecessary.
"No more..." Kagura whispered, looking at the girl who was in a state of despair.
"I don't deserve to have anyone's attention...I..." Rin's train of thought was then interrupted when she felt her face was throbbing and its unpleasant sensation brought her back to reality.
"That's enough!" Kagura snapped, whose right arm was trembling while tears started to blur her vision. She could feel the soreness of her palm and the heat in her heart. "No more..."
'...Kagura-chan?'
'...She can't be like this...She doesn't deserve to suffer...I have to tell her...I must...'
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Japanese Vocabulary
Arigato - Thank you
Daijoubu - Are you okay?
Kami-sama - God
Shirimasen- I don't know