InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Interwebz is Great! ❯ The Interwebz is great! ( Chapter 1 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: SilverGodFanGirl 
Kags talks her mom into the purchase of a computer to ease her schoolwork issues, and the comp is abused to selfishly distract an impatient hanyou. So, what happens when you put a male with the technological knowledge of a two year old in front of something that has unlimited access to the interwebz? You get exactly what you deserve...
A songfic written for an LJ community, won 3rd place.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Hentai | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 02.09.2009 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 621 | Status: Work In Progress
Kags talks her mom into the purchase of a computer to ease her schoolwork issues, and the comp is abused to selfishly distract an impatient hanyou. So, what happens when you put a male with the technological knowledge of a two year old in front of something that has unlimited access to the interwebz? You get exactly what you deserve...
A songfic written for an LJ community, won 3rd place.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Hentai | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 02.09.2009 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 621 | Status: Work In Progress
Song: Avenue Q- The Internet is for Porn.
Disclaimer: I fiend and pine for Inuyasha, and rejoice in the lyrical genius of Ave Q, yet alas! I own neither and won't make a freaking penny off of this. Shame, I need a few pennies at the moment...
*****
The internet is really really great…
*****
She was so excited, after all the begging and pleading she had done, it was here! Kagome had been begging on hands and knees for months now, trying to get a computer out of her mother. It was just too hard trying to go to school a few days a month, not ever really getting anything done, so she went and got permission from her professors to be able to correspond with them through email. In this way she could just come home, do her work, send it off and be back in the Sengoku Jidai, keeping the whining from a certain unaccommodating hanyou to a minimum. Better yet, she no longer had to depend on her friends notes for her lessons; she could just look up what she needed on the web!
*****
I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait…
*****
Kagome had only been gone a day when the red flash of a grumpy hanyou jumped through her window, effectively ruining her `vacation day'. Luckily, his attention was temporarily sidetracked by the flashing brightness of the computer monitor. Intent on salvaging what was soon to be lost, she played off of Inuyasha's fascination with the technology of her era as she cut his complaint off short, dragging him from the windowsill and sitting him down in the desk chair.
“What the hell wench… what's this?” he asked, suspicious of her motives.
“It's a computer. Like a TV, but you can ask it questions and it shows you anything you want! Think of it as a mix between a book and a TV.” she explained, injecting heavy levels of excitement into her voice, hoping it would be contagious.
“Books? Like those stupid heavy things you carry around all the time?! Keh, I ain't got time for those ridiculous things.” he said, attempting to get up, fearing Kagome was trying to rope him into another reading lesson. She had tried before, once, and it had not been a repeat performance. His frustration at the symbols on the paper meant an unfortunate end to the unsuspecting book. His face still remembered that `sit'… vividly. Fearing she was losing ground, she leaned towards the computer, over the back of the chair, and over Inuyasha's shoulder. Her action was effective in pinning him in the chair, eye level with a tank top full of Kagome's chest. Unfair advantage, she knew, but she was not ready to go back yet and this would serve as a distraction.
“But look at all the pretty pictures Inuyasha! You can see whatever you want and never have to go anywhere! It's exciting!” She typed as she spoke, aware of his flustered face and twitching ears, ears that were rubbing against and tickling her sensitive flesh. Ignoring the fuzzy warmth spreading from that spot to all points of her body, she brought up the image search engine and typed the first thing she thought of. Random images of dogs popped into view: puppies, mutts, white fluffies, and everything in between. An exasperated growl came from him, but criticism for her choice was not forth coming as his fascination with the screen served as the distraction she was hoping for. With a sigh of relief, she gave him the most basic of instructions: just click on things. Since he could neither read nor type, it left him with few other options. By the time she told him she was going to take a bath and pack the food, a barely audible `Uh' was his only reply. Victory!
*****
There's always some new site
*****
As a triumphant miko partook of her steaming, relaxing reward, a sneaky younger brother tip-toed past the bathroom and eased open his sister's door. White ears swiveled towards the noise, but golden eyes remained glued to a streaming video. It wasn't until Souta had made it in and silently closed the door behind him that the kid turned and was startled by Inuyasha, thinking the room empty. Surprise was replaced with dismay though, as he realized what he'd snuck in the room to look at was currently occupied.
“Aw, Inuyasha, how long you gonna be on the computer, I want to try something before Sis comes back?!” The pouting face he put on was to no avail, as Inuyasha didn't even turn to acknowledge him. “C'mon… I know you can't read, Kagome brought the book home. Or what was left of it. Lemme just do something real fast, ok?!”
Not admitting he'd just taken a slight blow to his ego, he gave a `Keh' and got up, sitting on the edge of the bed, just a bit eager to see what else the compi-thingy could do. “So what's so important it couldn't wait?” There was a long, awkward silence as Souta turned in the chair to face Inuyasha, reeking of embarrassment and refusing to meet the hanyou's eyes.
“Promise not to laugh?” the boy mumbled.
“Promise it won't be stupid?” was the hanyou's reply. With a resigned sigh, Souta decided he could tell Inuyasha… after all, his half-demon idol had his own girl troubles and would understand.
“I was listening to one of my friends at school, and he was telling everyone how he met a girl he found on the internet, and… I wanted to see if I could too. Everyone else is, and I thought it would be cool.” Most of what was said was jibberish to him, but Inuyasha's interest was piqued. You really could find anything on this magic-box! Maybe he could ask it what the hell Kagome's problem was, always getting mad at things for no reason and sitting him for seemingly nothing at all! Feigning disinterest (poorly), and looking at a suddenly very interesting spot on the ceiling he asked sarcastically,
“And how do you plan on going about that? Do you even know what you're doing?”
“I dunno. Guess I'll just search for it.” He turned back to the screen smiling, noticing Inuyasha's curiosity despite the hanyou's attempts at disinterest, and brought up a search engine.
*****
I browse all day and night
*****
Curiosity got the better of him, and soon enough an obviously interested Inuyasha was leaning over Souta, watching as the screen loaded.
“Hmm, I'm not sure what to put in the search engine.” Souta said, more to himself than Inuyasha.
“The what?”
"It's what finds what you're looking for. Type a word into it, and it finds everything it can on the subject.”
“Keh, don't be stupid kid, what the hell are we looking for?!”
“Girls…”
“Then what the hell do you think you should search for?! Even I can figure that out!” Earlier blow to ego: restored. Blushing for his lack of thinking, Souta started the search engine on `girls'……….
*****
It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light
*****
Kagome was never going to forgive him for this. He couldn't imagine the `sit' he was going to get for this little fiasco. It wasn't even his fault (completely), but then it didn't matter. This was all that went through Inuyasha's head as he grabbed up the wide-eyed, gap-jawed, scarred for life little boy from the computer chair, and all but threw him down the stairs when he unceremoniously chunked him out of Kagome's room and slammed the door behind him.
Heart racing and head reeling, he reassessed what had just happened: It had taken about four seconds before Inuyasha's instincts had kicked in and overruled his shock after the first pictures had appeared, but that was four seconds too slow. Inuyasha may have seen a glimpse or two of skin in his travels with Kagome, but he was out of his league with this.
*****
FOR PORN!
*****
Naked or half-naked women of all shapes and sizes, even colors he'd never seen before, all laid out on the magic screen for two relatively naïve boys. It was something that was most assuredly not for Souta's eyes, so that issue was instinctively dealt with. But the overloaded hanyou wasn't even sure if he should see it! Reasoning with himself that he couldn't very well leave… that… on the screen (and not that he really was curious), he walked back to the desk, eyes closed, and felt his way back to the chair. He peeked through one eyelid, hoping maybe the magic box would have made it disappear; no such luck.
*****
I'm glad we have this new technology,
Which gives us untold opportunity
*****
He couldn't help but stare! There were pictures of tame, demure, half-dressed women right next to women whom he could only describe as alpha bitches, bedecked in leather and whips, standing on top of men who were themselves naked as the day they were born. Inuyasha couldn't help but smirk cockily at the men.`That's all these human men have?! Pathetic! I packed that when I was a pup!' `Poor Kagome, she deserves better than a human…' It was about then that something dangerous in Inuyasha's mind happened; the women on the screen were no longer strangers, but were Kagome, now demure and half-dressed. `Nah' he thought wickedly,`she likes causing me too much pain, she's the one with the whips and the spiky shoes in my back…' Not realizing what his fantasizing was doing to him physically until too late, and fearing that an angry miko was due to walk in the door any moment, he decided he'd had enough fun and needed to make these things disappear, fast!`Hmm, maybe those reading lessons would have come in handy…' was his loathed thought before he resigned himself to do as Kagome had said... just click on things.
*****
You can research browse and shop
Until you've had enough and your ready to stop
*****
It just got worse. There were now moving pictures, like on the TV, only he'd never seen this on the TV. People in positions Inuyasha's inexperienced mind would never have thought of in a million years, doing things to each other he never dreamed possible. He was just barely able to keep his mind on his goal, but all was lost when sounds started to emanate from the small boxes on the side of the compi-thing… sounds he'd heard a few times, deep in the woods while Kagome bathed, that he'd never thought twice about. Now he understood, and he was lost to the world as his imagination ran rampant, imagining all the things that his Kagome could be doing to make those sounds; wondering what he could do to her to hear her make those sounds. It was while he was fantasizing about those sounds, that he missed the ones she made as she exited the bathroom and made her way down the hall.
*****
Right from you own desktop…
Why do you think the net was born?!
*****
Kagome was not happy about having to cut her bath short, but she had to figure out what the yelling and slamming of doors was about. Cursing herself for forgetting clean clothes in the mad dash she'd made for the tub, she made her way down the hall in her robe, meeting Souta in front of her door, staring into space. `What did Inuyasha do NOW?!' she thought to herself.
“Souta, what's the problem? Did Inuyasha do something?” She leaned down to ruffle his hair, snapping her little brother out of his stupor. When he looked up to tell his sister what happened, he caught a glimpse of the last thing he wanted to see when her robe fell open a bit too much. He did the only thing he could think to do: he jumped up and hit the floor running, screaming the whole way back to his room before the sound was cut off by a slamming door. Bewildered by his actions, she turned and opened her bedroom door and walked in, not prepared for the sight and sounds that greeted her...
*****
The internet is really really great…
*****
She was so excited, after all the begging and pleading she had done, it was here! Kagome had been begging on hands and knees for months now, trying to get a computer out of her mother. It was just too hard trying to go to school a few days a month, not ever really getting anything done, so she went and got permission from her professors to be able to correspond with them through email. In this way she could just come home, do her work, send it off and be back in the Sengoku Jidai, keeping the whining from a certain unaccommodating hanyou to a minimum. Better yet, she no longer had to depend on her friends notes for her lessons; she could just look up what she needed on the web!
*****
I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait…
*****
Kagome had only been gone a day when the red flash of a grumpy hanyou jumped through her window, effectively ruining her `vacation day'. Luckily, his attention was temporarily sidetracked by the flashing brightness of the computer monitor. Intent on salvaging what was soon to be lost, she played off of Inuyasha's fascination with the technology of her era as she cut his complaint off short, dragging him from the windowsill and sitting him down in the desk chair.
“What the hell wench… what's this?” he asked, suspicious of her motives.
“It's a computer. Like a TV, but you can ask it questions and it shows you anything you want! Think of it as a mix between a book and a TV.” she explained, injecting heavy levels of excitement into her voice, hoping it would be contagious.
“Books? Like those stupid heavy things you carry around all the time?! Keh, I ain't got time for those ridiculous things.” he said, attempting to get up, fearing Kagome was trying to rope him into another reading lesson. She had tried before, once, and it had not been a repeat performance. His frustration at the symbols on the paper meant an unfortunate end to the unsuspecting book. His face still remembered that `sit'… vividly. Fearing she was losing ground, she leaned towards the computer, over the back of the chair, and over Inuyasha's shoulder. Her action was effective in pinning him in the chair, eye level with a tank top full of Kagome's chest. Unfair advantage, she knew, but she was not ready to go back yet and this would serve as a distraction.
“But look at all the pretty pictures Inuyasha! You can see whatever you want and never have to go anywhere! It's exciting!” She typed as she spoke, aware of his flustered face and twitching ears, ears that were rubbing against and tickling her sensitive flesh. Ignoring the fuzzy warmth spreading from that spot to all points of her body, she brought up the image search engine and typed the first thing she thought of. Random images of dogs popped into view: puppies, mutts, white fluffies, and everything in between. An exasperated growl came from him, but criticism for her choice was not forth coming as his fascination with the screen served as the distraction she was hoping for. With a sigh of relief, she gave him the most basic of instructions: just click on things. Since he could neither read nor type, it left him with few other options. By the time she told him she was going to take a bath and pack the food, a barely audible `Uh' was his only reply. Victory!
*****
There's always some new site
*****
As a triumphant miko partook of her steaming, relaxing reward, a sneaky younger brother tip-toed past the bathroom and eased open his sister's door. White ears swiveled towards the noise, but golden eyes remained glued to a streaming video. It wasn't until Souta had made it in and silently closed the door behind him that the kid turned and was startled by Inuyasha, thinking the room empty. Surprise was replaced with dismay though, as he realized what he'd snuck in the room to look at was currently occupied.
“Aw, Inuyasha, how long you gonna be on the computer, I want to try something before Sis comes back?!” The pouting face he put on was to no avail, as Inuyasha didn't even turn to acknowledge him. “C'mon… I know you can't read, Kagome brought the book home. Or what was left of it. Lemme just do something real fast, ok?!”
Not admitting he'd just taken a slight blow to his ego, he gave a `Keh' and got up, sitting on the edge of the bed, just a bit eager to see what else the compi-thingy could do. “So what's so important it couldn't wait?” There was a long, awkward silence as Souta turned in the chair to face Inuyasha, reeking of embarrassment and refusing to meet the hanyou's eyes.
“Promise not to laugh?” the boy mumbled.
“Promise it won't be stupid?” was the hanyou's reply. With a resigned sigh, Souta decided he could tell Inuyasha… after all, his half-demon idol had his own girl troubles and would understand.
“I was listening to one of my friends at school, and he was telling everyone how he met a girl he found on the internet, and… I wanted to see if I could too. Everyone else is, and I thought it would be cool.” Most of what was said was jibberish to him, but Inuyasha's interest was piqued. You really could find anything on this magic-box! Maybe he could ask it what the hell Kagome's problem was, always getting mad at things for no reason and sitting him for seemingly nothing at all! Feigning disinterest (poorly), and looking at a suddenly very interesting spot on the ceiling he asked sarcastically,
“And how do you plan on going about that? Do you even know what you're doing?”
“I dunno. Guess I'll just search for it.” He turned back to the screen smiling, noticing Inuyasha's curiosity despite the hanyou's attempts at disinterest, and brought up a search engine.
*****
I browse all day and night
*****
Curiosity got the better of him, and soon enough an obviously interested Inuyasha was leaning over Souta, watching as the screen loaded.
“Hmm, I'm not sure what to put in the search engine.” Souta said, more to himself than Inuyasha.
“The what?”
"It's what finds what you're looking for. Type a word into it, and it finds everything it can on the subject.”
“Keh, don't be stupid kid, what the hell are we looking for?!”
“Girls…”
“Then what the hell do you think you should search for?! Even I can figure that out!” Earlier blow to ego: restored. Blushing for his lack of thinking, Souta started the search engine on `girls'……….
*****
It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light
*****
Kagome was never going to forgive him for this. He couldn't imagine the `sit' he was going to get for this little fiasco. It wasn't even his fault (completely), but then it didn't matter. This was all that went through Inuyasha's head as he grabbed up the wide-eyed, gap-jawed, scarred for life little boy from the computer chair, and all but threw him down the stairs when he unceremoniously chunked him out of Kagome's room and slammed the door behind him.
Heart racing and head reeling, he reassessed what had just happened: It had taken about four seconds before Inuyasha's instincts had kicked in and overruled his shock after the first pictures had appeared, but that was four seconds too slow. Inuyasha may have seen a glimpse or two of skin in his travels with Kagome, but he was out of his league with this.
*****
FOR PORN!
*****
Naked or half-naked women of all shapes and sizes, even colors he'd never seen before, all laid out on the magic screen for two relatively naïve boys. It was something that was most assuredly not for Souta's eyes, so that issue was instinctively dealt with. But the overloaded hanyou wasn't even sure if he should see it! Reasoning with himself that he couldn't very well leave… that… on the screen (and not that he really was curious), he walked back to the desk, eyes closed, and felt his way back to the chair. He peeked through one eyelid, hoping maybe the magic box would have made it disappear; no such luck.
*****
I'm glad we have this new technology,
Which gives us untold opportunity
*****
He couldn't help but stare! There were pictures of tame, demure, half-dressed women right next to women whom he could only describe as alpha bitches, bedecked in leather and whips, standing on top of men who were themselves naked as the day they were born. Inuyasha couldn't help but smirk cockily at the men.`That's all these human men have?! Pathetic! I packed that when I was a pup!' `Poor Kagome, she deserves better than a human…' It was about then that something dangerous in Inuyasha's mind happened; the women on the screen were no longer strangers, but were Kagome, now demure and half-dressed. `Nah' he thought wickedly,`she likes causing me too much pain, she's the one with the whips and the spiky shoes in my back…' Not realizing what his fantasizing was doing to him physically until too late, and fearing that an angry miko was due to walk in the door any moment, he decided he'd had enough fun and needed to make these things disappear, fast!`Hmm, maybe those reading lessons would have come in handy…' was his loathed thought before he resigned himself to do as Kagome had said... just click on things.
*****
You can research browse and shop
Until you've had enough and your ready to stop
*****
It just got worse. There were now moving pictures, like on the TV, only he'd never seen this on the TV. People in positions Inuyasha's inexperienced mind would never have thought of in a million years, doing things to each other he never dreamed possible. He was just barely able to keep his mind on his goal, but all was lost when sounds started to emanate from the small boxes on the side of the compi-thing… sounds he'd heard a few times, deep in the woods while Kagome bathed, that he'd never thought twice about. Now he understood, and he was lost to the world as his imagination ran rampant, imagining all the things that his Kagome could be doing to make those sounds; wondering what he could do to her to hear her make those sounds. It was while he was fantasizing about those sounds, that he missed the ones she made as she exited the bathroom and made her way down the hall.
*****
Right from you own desktop…
Why do you think the net was born?!
*****
Kagome was not happy about having to cut her bath short, but she had to figure out what the yelling and slamming of doors was about. Cursing herself for forgetting clean clothes in the mad dash she'd made for the tub, she made her way down the hall in her robe, meeting Souta in front of her door, staring into space. `What did Inuyasha do NOW?!' she thought to herself.
“Souta, what's the problem? Did Inuyasha do something?” She leaned down to ruffle his hair, snapping her little brother out of his stupor. When he looked up to tell his sister what happened, he caught a glimpse of the last thing he wanted to see when her robe fell open a bit too much. He did the only thing he could think to do: he jumped up and hit the floor running, screaming the whole way back to his room before the sound was cut off by a slamming door. Bewildered by his actions, she turned and opened her bedroom door and walked in, not prepared for the sight and sounds that greeted her...