InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Jewel of Four Souls ❯ From the Heart of a Hanyou ( Chapter 17 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

With InuYasha's determination, he seeks to set things straight. However, will his fated meeting wtih Kagome go as he planned? Or will everything be all for naught?

Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama / Adventure / Action | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 04.13.2008 | Pages: 6 | Words: 6.0K | Visits: 352 | Status: Work In Progress

>.< Gah! It's been so long since updating my poor story here. (sighs) Alas, the dismal fate that is my extremely busy and tiring day to day life.

Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. There's only a few left and this'll be done! At least I think… >.> … lol, never know what'll happen!

Disclaimer: (Checks) Nope, still don't own it.

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Chapter 17 “From the Heart of a Hanyou”

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The sky radiated with the beautiful and calming orange shade as nightfall approached. The orange hues began to slowly dip into a pinkish hue then to a deep blue. InuYasha gazed silently towards the changing sky while his nerves were on full throttle. Minute by minute the sky grew darker. And minute-by-minute Kagome drew closer. Taking a deep breath, InuYasha stood and descended down the branches of the Sacred Tree. In no particular hurry, he took his time to navigate each branch before finally landing safely on the ground. He tried to gauge at how close the young miko was, but was having a hard time judging her distance. She smelled close by.

He paced across to the side of the Higurashi house before staring up at the dark window that belonged to Kagome's room. With a quick leap, he was up on the tiny ledge. Peering inside, InuYasha was met with darkness and vacancy. `Now to get inside and wait for her.' Pulling at the window, he found it to be stuck. Tugging again, the window still wouldn't budge.

“What the Hell?”

A third time he tried to get the window to budge. It refused to open for him. He banged his head lightly on the cold pane of glass realizing that Kagome probably kept it locked for a reason; to keep him out. Knowing that entrance was non-accessible, he hopped down onto the ground before peering back up to the darkened room. After a moment the hanyou felt a presence behind him. Turning in a panic he was face to face with the young miko. He was face to face…with Kagome.

Kagome seemed more surprised than upset at seeing InuYasha looming around her house. But that of course didn't last long. She instantly looked ticked off as she gave a pretty menacing glare.

“What are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay away!?” She seethed.

InuYasha's gaze dropped as he closed the distance between the miko and himself. Kagome took a step back as he kept coming closer. Next thing she knew, he was embracing her. The hanyou had no idea why he wanted to hold the girl in his arms at that moment. But it felt almost right. However it was short lived when Kagome tore away from him. She stared with a confused and upset look on her face, silently wondering why he suddenly did such a thing.

“…I'm sorry for failing to protect you Kagome.” He said before she could start yelling at him. InuYasha didn't look up at her to see the reaction. He just had to apologize for breaking his promise before anything else. Which he was unable to do with Kikyo.

“…you didn't fail.” She said with an odd calm voice.

“Yes I did. If I only protected you… you …wouldn't have died.”

“It couldn't be helped.”

“I'm just glad you're ok. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you.” InuYasha admitted. Though he did have a pretty good idea on what he would have done. But Kagome didn't need to know that.

“You'd go off with Kikyo, that's what.” Kagome said with a hint of malice. Which usually wouldn't be there. Yes, the young miko indeed seemed quite upset.

Apparently, she already knew one of the possibilities. The hanyou flinched slightly as the tension of the moment grew. Things really weren't going the way he wanted so far.

“You're right… I would have. If she let me.” Perhaps he was digging his own grave, but Kagome deserved the truth. Even if it killed him. Which it probably would by how hard he would be driven into the ground by the wretched rosary that was still on him.

“Of course she'd let you!”

InuYasha shook his head. Silently, he pulled out a small pink orb. Kagome gasped when she saw the cursed object that complicated much of her teenage life. Not realizing how strange it was that she didn't sense it. “She didn't think so.”

The young miko was at a loss for words. Here InuYasha was, holding the very object she thought was erased from existence. Telling her that Kikyo wouldn't let him accompany her. To Hell no doubt, Kagome presumed.

“Kagome… forgive me. I… I didn't mean to hurt you like I did. I was…” he turned his head as though he was ashamed. “…I was scared.”

“Scared?” Kagome's mood really seemed altered as she looked upon the hanyou perplexed.

InuYasha nodded slightly before grasping the jewel tightly in his hand. “I was scared of being hurt again.” He said still not looking directly at her. Feeling a little ashamed of admitting this. Admitting a weakness.

Kagome closed the gap between her and InuYasha. Taking his hand she led him to the little bench near the Sacred Tree. Taking a seat, she released his hand. But he didn't want to break the contact. Taking his free hand he firmly grasped one of hers. Opening her palm the hanyou placed the jewel into her hands. She stared at the orb while the energies swirled around in it. The pure energies dominating over the dark.

“Fifty-three years ago I was merely a loathsome half-demon hated by the world. I didn't have a place. It was as though I didn't exist. That is… until I learned about the jewel. I heard of its powers. What I could do with it. From that point on, I desired to become a full-fledged demon… and actually be someone. Have a place in the world.”

InuYasha spoke more to the night sky than he did Kagome. She still sat there and listened in, not quite understanding why she allowed herself to give in and actually give him a chance to explain things. She also found his behavior quite odd too. Not once has he really gotten upset at things he normally would have. Though what she could see in that short moment from his eyes was the most perplexing. They seemed as though he was regretful, that he was sad. Like he realized how foolish he was. The last instant of their departure flashed in her head. No voices accompanied her vision as it replayed again. Her words, then, slowly began to ring in her head. But it was one word in particular that really caught her attention.

`…half-breed!'

Again and again she heard that word in her head. Making her feel more and more guilty about how poorly she handled that. At how she acted no better than him. And how she tried to run away from it all.

“I tried to get the jewel. But a young priestess stopped me every time. Yet, she wouldn't kill me. She wouldn't finish me off. Kikyo was that priestess. Next thing I knew, I had fallen in love with her. And she me. …or so I thought.”

“Huh?” Kagome thought she didn't hear that last part right.

“Before I came here… Kikyo told me the truth. That she didn't love me the way I am. She wanted me to become a human over fifty years ago. By doing so, I could be accepted in the human society. And I could be with her. Her duties were to protect the jewel. Her duties didn't allow her to love. Me becoming a mortal would probably be a pure enough wish where the jewel would cease to exist. Thus ending Kikyo's duties so she could live a normal life. That's what she really desired. To be a normal woman; to love like a normal woman; to act like a normal woman.”

Kagome couldn't quite believe InuYasha was telling her this. Nor could she understand why. Much less even understand Kikyo's reasons for telling InuYasha what she presumably did. She kept quiet as he continued.

“Then Naraku shattered everything. I was pinned to the tree by Kikyo. Believing she had betrayed me.”

“And fifty years later, I found you.”

InuYasha nodded, “The jewel was back within my grasp again. Seeing as how you looked like Kikyo and possessed the very thing I desired, I couldn't help but despise you. So I'd get my revenge and steal the jewel all in one fell swoop.”

“So you did try to actually kill me.”

“Yeah. Even after you broke the jewel, I still despised you. I couldn't stand you. …that is, until I saw you cry.”

Kagome looked firmly at him.

“That night, when I was mortal… you tried to protect me. You cried for me. You cared for me. No one has ever done that before aside from my mother. I didn't know what to do.”

“Well, you promised to protect me before then. I thought I'd try to do the same for you.” Kagome admitted.

“Since that night, I couldn't get you out of my mind. I feared that I was beginning to like you. That things were trying to repeat.”

“You…you did?” Kagome was quite taken aback by that one. Not believing he just admitted that.

“But I couldn't. I was afraid of being hurt again. Of being betrayed. I couldn't live through that again.”

“I wouldn't…”

“I couldn't trust you enough on that one. So I kept you away. …and with Kikyo alive again, only complicated matters. I still cared deeply for her. I wanted a second chance of being together after I knew what really happened. I didn't get that chance again until that night you saw us. When I said I loved her.”

Kagome looked hurt again. Recalling that memory pained the miko immensely. She wanted him to disappear at that second.

“As our journey was nearing its end, I also began wondering what would happen after it was over. What would happen to you, to me, and to Kikyo. That's what led me to choose her. To go with her. I was just too scared of falling for the same trap I did before. With Kikyo, I wouldn't be hurt as bad if something happened, if she did betray me.”

Kagome turned her head away, still hurt. Tears threatening to fall. “Why are you telling me this?”

InuYasha actually looked at her. He noticed her hurt look while she sat there staring off in the distance. Taking a deep breath, InuYasha gently spoke in a lulling voice.

“Because… …I love you.”

Kagome's eyes widened and severely teared up. She just couldn't believe he said that. Something she wanted to hear all those years ago. Words couldn't describe how she felt at the moment. Nor could one decipher what was being processed in her head. InuYasha kept his gaze firmly on the side of her face. She didn't seem happy. Nor was she upset or sad. She just seemed blank minded like she was shot by Kikyo herself.

“I loved you for a long time Kagome. …I was just too scared of being hurt again to tell you. …I'm sorry…”

“Do you mean what you say?” Kagome tearfully said.

“Huh?”

“Do you mean what you say?” Kagome repeated rather emotionless.

“I do. I'm not hiding anymore Kagome. I want you to keep your promise. I want you to stay by my side.”

Kagome didn't reply as she was crying slowly. She kept her gaze off InuYasha while her emotions ran ramped silently inside her.

“You loved me for who I was. …For what I was. You didn't want me to be someone I wasn't. …For once, I was truly loved by someone. But I couldn't let you. I didn't want Naraku to take you away from me. I had to protect you from him at all costs. And with my own fears, I pushed you away.”

It was suddenly starting to made sense to the miko. Naraku had learned that Kikyo and InuYasha had fallen for each other. And he used their own love and trust for each other against them. InuYasha didn't want to fall for that same trap again. He didn't want to be hurt by the one he loved again.

“Though I loved you, I couldn't be with you. And knowing our journey would end, you'd probably go back home. I didn't belong in your time, and you didn't belong in mine. That's why I didn't tell you… and wanted a second chance with Kikyo.”

“What do you plan on doing now InuYasha?” Kagome asked keeping her head turned away from the hanyou.

“I don't know. As you've said before I don't belong here. …and, I don't know if I can go back to my time. Not without you…” InuYasha quietly said.

But he couldn't stop now. The dam was broken and nothing was being held back by the hanyou anymore.

“I… I'm no good at this.” He sighed, standing. InuYasha paused a moment, “…I… I should go. You probably don't want to talk to a worthless half-demon like me anyway.” InuYasha shifted, not wanting to face Kagome. As more memories surfaced. Kagome grasped his arm quickly and silently pleaded for him to stay. InuYasha nearly begged for her to let him go, but she refused as she eased him back around to face her.

“You're not worthless InuYasha. …you've… you've meant more to me than anyone else.” A faint blush appeared on her face as her heart began to race. She tried to tell herself not to care, not to fall for him again. Not to allow herself to be hurt by him again. But after what he has said, telling her the truth no matter how much it hurt him or even her, how could she ignore it? InuYasha's words made so much sense to her. He even admitted that he was scared. Something a tough guy like him would seemingly never reveal. Just went to show that he did have a soft side. A kinder more gentler side. The side she was curious to see.

“Kagome…”

She shook her head, “InuYasha, it can't be helped. It was my fault for pushing you over the edge like that. I didn't give you a chance. I was afraid myself. I too have thought about what would happen after we defeated Naraku. …if we did that is. I wanted to love you and for you to love me. But we come from two different times. We're not supposed to be together, even if that's what I really wanted.”

InuYasha looked down to his hands, “Do you… do you still love me Kagome?”

She hesitated slightly before nodding. “Yes. I do. I still love you InuYasha. I can't… I can't let go. I can't stop loving you. I tried to forget… I tried to move on… but I was only wanting to be with you more and more.” She shook her head, not believing she was even saying what she was. For the past month she wanted to believe he never existed. That she never loved him. All that work to hide that fact: gone in mere seconds.

InuYasha actually smiled the best he could, as he seemed teary eyed. But of course would deny it. After all, it was merely a speckle.

“ Kagome… will you… will you come and stay with me? I may not belong here, but I know you can adapt in my era. ...In our era.” He corrected himself.

“I can't… I can't leave here.” Kagome said turning her head back away from him.

InuYasha gently took her hand and pulled her towards him. She was about to make a fuss when he embraced her tightly. A hand rested on the back of her head, another on her back. He didn't say a word as he held her. Kagome calmed minimally as she continued to cry softly. She didn't know what to do. Her heart told her to accept his proposal. To go and live in the Feudal Era. But no way her mother wouldn't let her. Nor could she leave behind her friends and the rest of her family. It hurt all more since he actually wanted her this time. Her, Kagome Higurashi, to be with him. It's what she wanted for so long now. And had to admit to herself, she still did. Just as that fire burned once again within her. Renewed.

She pulled away slightly and looked into his amber eyes. Kagome was about to deny him again but InuYasha closed the distance between then. Her teary eyes went completely wide with shock upon feeling his lips gently pressed onto hers. Her heart raced as she became panicked. But her nerves calmed and she slowly melted into the warm tender affection he was giving her. Though the kiss didn't last very long, nor was it the least bit perfect, it seemed like it took years for him to break it. Fifty to be Exact. She stared dumbfounded at him while he seemed to be internally kicking himself for being so hasty and stupid. He had no idea why he had the urge to do that. To kiss her as he just did.

Standing, InuYasha looked down at the young miko. “…I guess. This is good bye.”

Kagome bit her bottom lip and hesitated before she bounded up and kissed InuYasha full on. He hardly noticed the girl lunge for him and nearly lost his balance. Catching himself, he was shocked to find her suddenly kissing him back. He eased into it and wrapped his arms around Kagome. She broke the tender kiss and stared back up into his amber eyes as though she silently told him to stay.

“It's time I stopped running from my own fears. I can't let you go… not this time!”

InuYasha half-smiled before it fell to a frown, “…how can you love a dirty half-breed like me? I'm… I…”

Kagome put a finger to his lips silencing him.

“It matters not what you are. You're all I could ever want. You can make amends for all you've done. Together, we will.”

“Kagome…” he embraced her tightly and warmly a he half-cried.

“InuYasha…” She hugged him back, neither wanting to let go.

Inside the Higurashi home a shadow watched on from a window. Closing the blinds the figure sighed happily to its self.

“You're finally happy. It'll be hard letting you go, but you're old enough to make your own decisions.” The figure chuckled, “Be good to her InuYasha.”

Miss Higurashi smiled to herself before heading off to bed.

As for Kagome and InuYasha, neither one moved form their embrace for nearly an hour. Tired and emotionally drained, Kagome offered that he spend the night with her. Hesitantly he agreed. Together they slept, still dressed mind you, InuYasha gently holding the young miko he loved. Dreaming of what the future held for him. And for her. With Naraku's defeat, he could finally be at ease. He could finally love. And he had someone to protect. This time, he would make sure nothing ever harmed Kagome. No matter where they were. No matter what era they were in. He vowed to be with her. No more hiding. No more being scared. It was time to make a new beginning.

Kagome didn't know how he was able to get back into her heart and revive her love for him so quickly. Perhaps she didn't want to admit she always had, even during that time she supposedly hated him. In fact, she was even actually a little jealous of Kikyo. That he loved Kikyo and not her. He did have every right to try and fix what Naraku messed up even she knew that. But it still hurt. It always was painful to see him with her. Kagome's thoughts dwindled down until she fell asleep in InuYasha's warm embrace. She felt so right being held by him, being kissed by him. It did dawn on her that she'd have to deal with Hojo sooner or later. She could only hope he'd take it well.

InuYasha didn't know what he did to deserve such a wonderful and pure woman that was Kagome. He didn't care if she was from a different time. That if she knew more about things than he did. That she was a human. Kikyo was right. She was the one who opened his heart and Kagome was the one who filled it. Though both women looked alike, each had their own personality. Their own beliefs. Their own strengths and weaknesses.

`Though we are different, a part of me will still always be with you in my reincarnation. Don't regret the past, live for the future.'

`No more regrets…'

`Being a priestess, I couldn't love. For if I did my powers would weaken. Kagome is the opposite. It is her love for you that enhances her powers. It's what makes her strong.'

`Her love makes her strong.'

`I couldn't love you the way you were…'

`I am a half-demon.'

`I can't love you the way she does InuYasha… I opened your heart… I showed you that you could be loved and accepted.'

`I can love. I can be loved.'

`Kagome is the one who truly loves you for who you are. She accepts you for who you are. She loves you as a hanyou InuYasha…'

`Kagome… thank you…'

Aww ^^ …if you think it's over, you're sadly mistaken (Evil grin)