InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Killing Perfection ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

This is a bit darker of a theme, I won’t be writing anything else this dark again, I promise.
That Faithful Afternoon…
“Kagome….Kagome” Mrs. Higurashi called. The eerie silence from her daughter’s upstairs bedroom creeped her out. As she inched towards the staircase, she peered up to see if Kagome’s light was on. It was not. The soft glow of the yellow light was missing. However she could hear the soft tunes of classical music playing from her daughter’s room.
“Maybe she’s sleeping” Momma Higurashi thought, but she had a nagging suspicion that something was wrong. She ignored her gut feeling and went into the kitchen. The flashing red light on the answering machine was going off. She casually pushed the button. As the machine began to whirl on, Mrs. Higurashi filled a tea kettle with water.
“You have 1 new message. New Message: ‘Hello, your student ka-go-me missed ALL of her classes today. If this was a mistake then please call the front office at (555) 485-9485 to correct this error” said the automated voice. Mrs. Higurashi set the tea kettle on the stove and put the heat on low. Then she began to wander upstairs.
“Maybe Kagome is ill” She thought. As she reached Kagome’s pink door, she knocked softly. “Kagome, hunny, are you not feeling well?” She whispered, turning the door knob. Before she could open the door, she heard a rustle at the front door of her home.
“Momma, I’m home!” Souta called from the living room. Mrs. Higurashi rushed to the staircase banister and frowned down at Souta.
“Hush, your sister is ill and resting in her room” She said, very upset. The tea kettle in the kitchen began hissing. Realizing she was a bit harsh on her son, she quietly asked “Souta, will you get that? I’m trying to check on Kagome”. Souta nodded his head and disappeared from his mother’s line of vision into the kitchen area.
Mrs. Higurashi went back to turning the door knob to reveal Kagome, swinging from the ceiling fan, blue in the face, cold, and stiff. Momma Higurashi’s hand flew to her chest, as if the breath had been knocked out of her all at once.
“Ka…” She stopped short, taking in the sight of her deceased daughter. Tears began falling down her face and she could barely contain the whimpering sound escaping from her lips.
“Mom, the tea is getting…” Souta began. Mrs. Higurashi slammed Kagome’s door shut behind her. She rushed over to the chair that lay tipped against the bed and straightened it out. Without bothering to balance herself, she stood up straight on the chair and grabbed Kagome by the waist. Hoisting Kagome up, Mrs. Higurashi slid the noose from around Kagome’s neck. Her daughter’s body flopped suddenly into her right shoulder, throwing them both off from the chair. Kagome landed on top of her mother.
“My baby…” She cried, cradling Kagome’s dead body in her arms. She pushed Kagome’s hair slightly out of the way to get a glimpse at the deep gashes in her neck where the noose had strangled her. And she wondered what she did to lose her daughter at such an early age. Just 3 months shy of graduating from high school, she was only 17. She had her whole life ahead of her.
Lying ever so neatly on top of her pillow was a letter written on plain white paper addressed to Sesshomaru in Kagome’s best cursive as if she took time with this:
Dear Sesshomaru,
I tried to love you; I tried to be the best girlfriend you could have ever wanted. You lied to me and you used me. You told me I was the best you ever had, you told me I was the “one”. You robbed me of my innocence, my virginity, my life, my heart, and my soul. There’s nothing left of me now. There was no me without you. So now there’s no me at all. You truly lived up to your name. You are, indeed, the “Killing Perfection” for you have killed me. I once had hopes, dreams, a bright future, and a glowing personality. But that is no more. You slayed me with one slow stab to my heart. I have been bleeding out for months now, but now I have no more life in me, you bled me dry. I feel like we could have been a match made in heaven. But my mistake was trying to find happiness with you, a creature from hell. Even in my death, I will love you, but I can only be free from your demonic charm in my ever-lasting rest. For death is actually life. In death, I will have the freedom I want; freedom from you. My death helps fulfill your name’s prophecy for I was your latest victim. You will be sorely missed.
~Kagome
Present Day…
“That is all that is left of my daughter. My beautiful, intelligent, dedicated daughter” Mrs. Higurashi wailed, holding onto the edge of the couch. She was sitting beside Sango, Kagome’s best friend, her arm clutching against the couch to hold her up. Ever since she found Kagome that faithful night in her room, she hasn’t been able to cope.
“Mrs. Higurashi, I am so sorry for your loss. Kagome never gave any hint that she was not doing well. She acted as if the break up didn’t faze her. If I thought even for a second she wasn’t doing well, I would have…” Sango cut herself short. She wadded up the tissue to press against her eyes, her tears were simply flowing against her will. Sango prided herself for being a rock, both for her friends and Kagome’s family, but she was unable to. Everyone else at school was able to simply say “so sad”; they said “poor thing”. But no one grieved like Sango did. No one was able to feel the cutting loss of a terrific friend like Sango did. They could never understand what Kagome’s death meant to her. But Sango also had Mrs. Higurashi.
“Its fine dear, Kagome did what she thought was best. That monster took advantage of her. My baby was so close to graduating. We just reserved the hall for her reception after the graduation ceremony” Mrs. Higurashi cried, grabbing onto Sango’s hand for support. She could barely pull herself together. Her head was reeling all the time, she wasn’t able to sleep, and she never wanted to eat. Sango was in a similar state of shock.
“May I go to her room? Maybe she left a clue or some hint that she was not doing so well in a diary” Sango suggested. Mrs. Higurashi let go of Sango instantly, and looked up to the edge of the stairs. She knew all too well that her daughter’s bedroom was just over the lip of those stairs. She couldn’t bear the thought of crossing into that threshold anymore.
“Don’t…don’t take anything out. I’m trying to preserve her memory” Momma Higurashi said softly. Sango nodded. So she went upstairs, gripping on the railing of the staircase as she ascended the steps. Once she reached the top of the stairs, she saw Kagome’s soft pink door was cracked halfway. Sango peeked in as if she expected to see Kagome lying on the bed doing her homework.
Sango pushed the door ever so gently, letting the air of Kagome hit her. She felt another rush of tears reach her eyes, but this time Sango didn’t wipe any of them away. Kagome’s mom wouldn’t come upstairs, so she was ok to be weak. Sango leaned down to the bottom self of Kagome’s only bookcase, and reached behind her Webster Dictionary to find Kagome’s fuzzy purple diary.
It was unlocked with a pen on the last page she wrote on. Sango was torn; opening this diary marks the invasion of her best friend’s only diary. But at the same time, it’s the last part of Kagome that she has. Kagome’s mom was probably still unaware of the fact that Kagome still wrote in hers. Sango decided to take the plunge, but she started a few days back. Sitting on the bed, she started on December, just a month before Kagome’s suicide.
Dear Diary,
Today is especially hard for me. Sesshomaru confessed to my face that he cheated on me. Not once, not twice, but several times over our entire relationship. He hasn’t been faithful to me at all. Not once. He cheated on me prior to us having sex, and even since I have. Even though he had the nerve to tell me that I was the best he ever had. But you’ve had 3 before me and 4 people after. What about our love? What about my heart? I trusted you. You were my first, my only, and the love of my life. I’m sorry diary, but I don’t think I can keep my face stoic. I can’t be like him. I can’t treat him the way he treats me. Seeing his face still makes me weak, I still love him despite the fact that I broke up with him. I left him, I asked for my freedom back but I miss him. I miss seeing his face, I miss him kissing me, I miss our late night phone calls, and I miss all those things I thought were the truth. Now that I’m aware of the truth, I can’t be with him. Even though that’s all I want to do….  
Sango sits the book down and looks over at Kagome’s Hello Kitty calendar. December 1st was the night that Kagome refused to come over for their usual slumber party.  Kagome used the lame excuse of being tired from their end of semester finals to be up for a slumber party. At the time, Sango shrugged it off as being no big deal.
“That should have been my first sign, my bestie didn’t want to spend time with me” Sango thought.
But Sango had to keep reading; she wanted to know the truth. Who was her bestie really? Sango never knew. The Kagome she knew for the last few years was so strong, so full of life, so able to get by. Maybe the diary could explain her mindset; maybe the diary could explain how she was willing to give up everything...
Dear Diary,
He called today, I almost smiled. I couldn’t believe it. I was so overjoyed that I stayed on the phone for the last 3 or 4 hours catching up. He apologized for everything, told me he wanted to change, he wanted to be back with me, and he missed me. None of those other girls were like me. They didn’t excite him like I did. Oh my heart soared, I never felt so loved. But what will my friends say? What will my mom say? I love them too. They won’t want to me to be happy. They’ll worry he will hurt me anymore. And I understand that he’s dangerous, he is after all named the “Killing Perfection”. But I don’t understand why? I mean, he’s never killed anyone, but he is definitely perfection…
“Sango! Sango! Your mother called, she wants you to come home” Mrs. Higurashi called. Sango wasn’t sure what to do, should she take Kagome’s only diary or leave it here. She held onto it a second longer and moved slightly towards the door.
“Mrs. Higurashi, would you like me to come over and help you tomorrow?” Sango called back down as she tried to hurry down the stairs, shoving the diary into her backpack. She didn’t want to steal it but she had to keep reading, she couldn’t stop reading. That wasn’t her Kagome. Her Kagome wasn’t so insecure, her Kagome wasn’t so lonely. Maybe this was all a joke, planted by Sesshomaru to make Kagome look crazy.
“If you wish dear, I appreciate the company. Grandpa has passed away a few years ago, and I sent Souta away to stay with my cousin” Mrs. Higurashi said. Sango gave her a warm hug and went out the door. She sat down in her ’97 Honda Accord and then went off to her house. She was afraid to leave Mrs. Higurashi alone in that big house, but her mother would never let her stay in the house where it happened.
Once Sango made it into her front door, her mother was there to greet her. Sango slid her shoes over by the side of the door.  
“Sango how is Mrs. Higurashi?” Her mother asked, she was standing in the doorway awaiting her daughter’s return. Sango walked past her mother, putting her coat in the closet and dropping her backpack on the floor by the couch.
“She is managing, mother. But she is also not doing well. She misses Kagome” Sango stated. She was tired of her mother’s ridiculous questions. Her mother is always quite the busybody. She hadn’t once gone over to see how Mrs. Higurashi was doing, but she always asked Sango when she returned from visiting her.
“Naturally she’s not doing so well. Any who, are you hungry sweetie? I made some dinner “She said, but Sango had already snatched up her backpack and was already headed down the hallway to her room.
“Look I got homework, I’ll eat dinner later, thanks mom” Sango said, rushing into her room and locking the door behind her. Sango shed her backpack, throwing it on the floor next to the bed. She plopped down on the bed and retrieved the diary. She hesitated just a moment before opening to the next page.
Dear Diary,
Another sad day for me. Our talk two days ago meant nothing to him. He’s back to his old ways. I called his cell to see if he wanted to hang out, and some girl answered the phone. She told me Sesshomaru was in the shower, why she was there, I don’t know. It hurts. No matter how often I expect this, no matter how predictable it is, it still hurts. I want him to choose me over all the others, but he never does. He knows as well as I do that he’s just stringing me along, using my dreams against me…
Sango abruptly had to stop reading, she couldn’t sit around questioning all the signs she had missed from her best friend any longer. Maybe she read on as punishment, for missing all the clues; for allowing her friend to slip away from her like sand in one’s fingers. Maybe that is why Kagome is gone today.
But no matter, I don’t care. Maybe this is the push I need to explore new territory. There must be other guys in my school; ones who will love me and cherish me to the ends of Earth and back.
Sango wanted to understand more, understand better. But she was interrupted by a knock at her door. She tucked the diary under her pillow as if she was never reading it. She went over to her door to unlock it. She was greeted by her mother’s nosey face peeking into her room.
“Sango, you need to eat. You’ve been holed up in your room long enough” Mrs. Slayer said. Sango scowled but kept all her rude inner comments to herself.
“Yes mom” She complied, trailing behind her mother angrily. Not angry at her mother, not angry at Mrs. Higurashi who worked three jobs to support her children, not angry at the world for stealing away her kind-hearted friend. Angry at herself for allowing her friend to by unnoticed all these months, for allowing Sesshomaru to kill her. It might have well been him to place her up on there, on the noose.
Sango sat down in front of her hot and sour soup but she was not hungry at all. She was more intent on rushing back upstairs to read the diary than on her dinner. The food did not seem appealing to her at all.
“Sango, are you alright?” Her mother asked, noticing her daughter hadn’t even started to touch her all time favorite meal. She walked over until she was right in front of Sango.
“Yes mother?” Sango answered.
“Are you ill? You haven’t touched your dinner at all” She said softly. Sango moved her spoon around limply in the bowl of soup, trying her hardest to make the food appear tempting.
“Sorry mom, I guess I’m just not feeling so well. It’s hard after what happened to Kagome. I just haven’t been hungry lately” Sango confessed. Mrs. Slayer gently stroked her daughter’s slick black hair.
“My poor baby, I know its hard losing your best friend but it is not your fault. Your friend had a lot of emotional issues that she was never able to work out but you couldn’t have predicted that. That’s why I never let you date. All those teenager hormones and illogical thoughts lead to the loss of a young life. It’s tragic but you have to continue to live” Her mother said.
“How can I live on? Kagome’s life ended because Sesshomaru killed her. He tricked her, he used her, and he stole her from herself. And as her best friend, I should have seen this happening. I should have prevented this. I should have saved her” Sango shouted, leaping up from the table and going to her room.
She locked the door behind her, and lay across the bed. She opened the diary to the next date. Kagome seemed to be skipping days again, maybe nothing happened those days but maybe they were taken away.


Dear Diary,
It is our one year anniversary, since the day that we began talking. He was supposed to call me tonight, at our usual time of 7:30 to discuss our happy year together. Except there was not much else I could do except wait. When he finally called at 9:40 pm I was tired, already in my bed clothes and ready for rest. He gave me the usual spiel, he loved me, he spent the whole day thinking about me, and he missed me. I think that he was lying to me; he’s always lying to me. But his lies are just so convincing, I can’t believe that this is happening to me all over again. Why do I believe these lies? I swallow up the excuses like they actually mean something to me. I am so tired of this, why can’t I be stronger? Why can’t I resist him? He wants me to come see him tomorrow. I’m not sure if I should or not. I mean, if I see him, I’ll melt like jelly in his palms and be his again. But if I don’t, I’ll miss him every second that I lose out of the opportunity. What shall I do?
Sango glanced over at the calendar at December 8, 2012, the day Kagome stopped attending Shikon High School for a few days. Kagome always got dressed up in her school girl uniform, left the house at sharply 8 am, but she never made it to school. She insisted on spending that time with Sesshomaru, waiting for him between classes by his car in the parking lot. She was so desperate.
Dear Diary,
I did it. I met with Sesshomaru again and we had sex. I enjoyed myself, enjoyed every moment of my time with him. His skills in the sack haven’t changed my god they’ve improved  but at the same time, our time together is too short. He had to go pretty fast, I had no choice but to accept this. He had an “emergency” that came up shortly after we finished. We didn’t even get to cuddle. He just rolled off of me and got dressed. Didn’t even kiss me goodbye or say he loves me. He just left, mumbled his excuse, and drove away. I’m a sucker for believing today would be any different than any other time. I just fulfill the role he expects of me. I spread my legs, play with his nipples, suck his dick, and let him hop on top of me. He rides me until he cums, and then he leaves. I’m just a sperm receptacle, and he treats me as such. Texts me when he wants, calls me when he has the spare time, sees me with he’s horny, but the one thing he can’t do…love me. That’s all I want from him. I love him, I give him everything, and he doesn’t give me shit. Maybe that makes me bitter…maybe I’m bitter because I’m stupid. I don’t know anymore, and I don’t care…
Sango’s cell phone lit up and went off. It was Miroku. Sango was tempted to ignore the call, as she ignored everyone else’s. But something struck her that this might actually be important.
“Hey Sango, I was wondering how you’re doing. I haven’t seen you in a few days, is everything alright?” He asked. She cleared her throat.
“Yes Miroku, I’m fine. I’m sure you only called because you want something. Did Sesshomaru tell you to summon me or something?” She questioned, very angry. She was aware of Miroku’s strange relationship to Sesshomaru Taisho.
“No, he didn’t. I haven’t told him that we are talking. I’m trying to protect you, my little angel. But you need to see what they’re saying on facebook. They are defaming Kagome on her memorial site. I thought you might want to know” Miroku said.
“Yeah, that’s fine. Protect me because you’re afraid of Sesshomaru. You know he’ll end up killing you before you can blink. You and Inuyasha are his bitch! This is beside the point. Sesshomaru could be incriminated and arrested for what he did to her” Sango hissed, she was so angry.
“I know he could. All the sex with a minor charges and child pornography. He knows that a diary exists; He wants to go to the Higurashi house to steal it away but she’s always home. Did you know about the diary?” Miroku asked.
“Maybe I do, Maybe I don’t. It’s none of your business what Kagome kept in her house” Sango snapped.
“I’m warning you...if you know anything about the diary, I would keep that knowledge a secret, and inform Mrs. Higurashi about it. If you wish to press charges against Sesshomaru, do what you wish. But be mindful that you’ll lose the little friends you have left. Sesshomaru will make sure of that” Miroku warned.
“I know, I have to see what I’m gonna do. Thanks for the warning…and Miroku, I appreciate the call” She said. She hung up the phone and went back over to the diary. Sango wanted to know what Sesshomaru had to hide. A few phone calls, and one sex scene is not enough. Something else must have happened…if not, her suicide doesn’t make sense.

Dear Diary,
Sesshomaru proposed to me! The ring isn’t special, it’s a little $198 ring from Wal-Mart but he proposed to me. He took me out to the spot we first met, in the gym at Shikon High. We snuck in after dark, and he got down on one knee and proposed to me. I hid the ring under the hidden flap in my jewelry box so Mom won’t know about it. I feel so great. Sesshomaru loves me, I love him, we’re so happy. We’re gonna get married, I’ma be his wife. He promised me I’ll be the one and only. He’s gonna inherited his father’s company in a few years and I will be the wife of a CEO. He already promised me that he was going to treat me like a special princess. He doesn’t love any of the other girls he messes with. I’m his baby, he loves me so much <3. I am just so very happy with him. He wants me to meet him at this hotel room this weekend to celebrate our engagement so I have to find a way to sneak out of babysitting Souta to visit him at the hotel.
I’m not sure if I did the right thing. I’m not sure if I should have accepted. I wanted to announce the engagement to Sango but Sesshomaru made me promise not to say anything. We have to keep our engagement a secret until I’m older. Me being under 18, he doesn’t want to be arrested. I respect his decision and I am so excited to see where he and I go in the future. I can’t wait to go to school tomorrow and see all my friends.
“But wait…things are good, she is happy. Where is that damn ring?” Sango thought.
Sango climbed off of the bed to tuck the diary away in a safe place in her room. Luckily her family is a strong believer in using their alarm system so if Sesshomaru did decide to act crazy, there wouldn’t be anything to find. She turned off her light using the clap system, and laid her head down. She tried to fall asleep but she was plagued by dreams.
“Kagome! Kagome!” Sango screamed, viewing a blue-faced Kagome. She was standing, perfectly still, in front of Sango.
“Why didn’t you save me? Why didn’t you help me? Find me Sango, help me!” Kagome called.
“Kagome, I see you, I’m seeing you. Tell me how to help! I wanna help you…I’m sorry” Sango pleaded, trying to reach out to her friend.
“Sorry? Sorry?!?!? You weren’t there for me. You didn’t save me!” Kagome screamed.
Sango shot up from her nightmare in a cold sweat. She only wished the dream meant something. Was that Kagome’s way of reaching out from the grave to tell her to help her? To find this ring Sesshomaru supposedly gave her. To prove that Sesshomaru was the one that killed her. He was the one that slaughtered her dear friend. He drove Kagome to the brink of insanity and she couldn’t take it anymore.
Before Sango knew it, it was dawn. The sun shone brightly into her bedroom in little slits of light. She got dressed in her usual black attire, mourning the loss of Kagome. Today was Kagome’s memorial assembly in the cafeteria. Their principal, Ms. Kaede, was going to speak to the loss of Kagome. What a tragedy it was. How the school should mourn the loss of one of Shikon High’s brightest students. How this event could have been avoided.
Before Sango left for school, she went onto facebook to read the comments on Kagome’s memorial page.
That bitch always thought she was so smart; guess she thought life wasn’t good enough for her.
~Kikyo
She was a loser anyways, it’s not like she even mattered anyways
~Kagura
Sango had to log off of the site before she cracked her computer. These girls didn’t know the real Kagome. They didn’t know who she was or what she stood for. All they knew was the class Valedictorian; the one beating all of them by GPA, the one who was accepted to an IVY LEAGUE university as a freshmen. That was all any of them could see of her. But Kagome was more than just a number; whether that was a GPA or SAT score. She was a human being.
“Sango! It’s time for school. You’ll be late” Kohaku screamed at her from next door.
“Tell Ma that I’m sick” Sango replied, flopping back on the bed, tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn’t go to school and sit next to all those phony girls who will pretend Kagome was their best friend just to get the attention of the news reporters. She was Kagome’s real best friend, the one who was there for her prior to her death.
“Sango, dear, your brother told me you were sick?” Mrs. Slayer questioned, sitting beside Sango in the bed. Sango buried her head even deeper in to the bedding.
“Sango…talk to me please. I’m here for you” Her mother pleaded, reaching out to rub her daughter’s back.
“Mom, will you just call the school and tell them I’m sick and not coming to school today? Please! I can’t go there and listen to them pretend to care about Kagome’s death. Kagome isn’t that girl they’re gonna make her out to be and I can’t hear it. Please don’t make me go” Sango cried.
“If you wish, I’ll let them know you’re not doing well today. I’m going to take Kohaku to school and I’ll be off to work. There’s more soup in the fridge if you get hungry. Be sure to call Mrs. Higurashi this afternoon and see if she’s alright. I love you Sango” Her mother kissed her on the forehead and went out the door. Sango remained still and in bed until she heard her mother’s car pull out of the driveway. Then she roamed off of bed to find her favorite pair of hello kitty sweats and an oversized t-shirt.
Instead of waiting as her mother asked, she went on to the house phone to make a call.
“Hello?” Mrs. Higurashi asked.
“Mrs. Higurashi, it’s me, Sango. I called to see if you were going to Shikon High for the memorial assembly” Sango asked.
“I am not quite sure, are you?” She returned the question.
“No, Mrs. Higurashi, I cannot possibly listen to those fake people lie and pretend to be sad. They don’t understand how those of us who were close to her possibly feel” Sango scoffed.
“Do not be so hostile, Sango. Although they may not have been friends with Kagome, the fact is that the school is bringing awareness of suicide for all highschoolers to prevent this tragedy from happening to another student” Mrs. Higurashi said.
“I try to be understanding but I can’t stand how they talk to and treat Kagome. It’s not easy for me to do this; I’m just not in the mood to see them today. Can I hide out there with you?” Sango asked, Mrs. Higurashi allowed it.
 “Are you in the mood for green tea? I picked up a new box a few nights ago but I have no one to drink it with” Mrs. Higurashi asked, moving into the kitchen. Sango began to pull herself together and went out the door to drive over to the Higurashi house. She turned her phone into a speakerphone in the car so she could drive hands-free.
“Have you found anything interesting in Kagome’s room? It seems like you found something awesome a few days ago” She hinted, keeping her back turned from Sango. She washed up some of the dishes left over the sink and awaited Sango’s answer. Sango seemed to pause on the other side of the phone.
“To be honest…I did. I found Kagome’s diary. She kept one for the last few months of her life” Sango said. She had the diary tucked away in her backpack. She wanted fish it out of the backpack on the car’s floor but she didn’t want to claim it in case Mrs. Higurashi didn’t want to be reminded of it.
“I realized you had stolen it away, I knew Kagome was a diary keeper since she was a little girl. Have you learned anything about our dear Kagome?” Mrs. Higurashi asked, pouring the piping hot water in two mugs. She laid the green tea bags into the mug and let it brew.  
“I’m just around the corner Mrs. Higurashi, maybe we can talk about it when I’m in the house” Sango answered, hanging up and pulling into the driveway. She quickly ran up the driveway, onto the porch, and knocked on the door.
“Mrs. Higurashi, it is a pleasure to see you. Is the tea ready?” Sango asked, letting herself in. She put the backpack down on the floor.
“Bring the diary with you into the kitchen, please, Sango. The tea is already served and cooling on the table” Mrs. Higurashi said, already seated into the kitchen.
“I left off on her December 11th entry. She and Sesshomaru got engaged after a difficult moment. I am kind of disappointed that she was considering getting back with him after everything going on” Sango commented.
“Well, what else has she said? Anything about why she’d commit suicide?” Mrs. Higurashi asked. Sango flipped open the book and checked for the next available date.
Dear Diary,
Sesshomaru and I haven’t had much time for each other time. With finals coming up this semester, and Sesshomaru looking for a new job, we’ve seen each other maybe for 20 minutes since the engagement. Sesshomaru doesn’t want me to wear the ring out in public so that no one asks me about it, but I wear it on a silver chain hidden under my shirt every day so I can have that piece of him close to me. He’s been a total sweetheart lately. He calls me every night after he gets off his job at the local community college bookstore to talk for at least an hour.
I am hoping that we can spend next Monday together since we get to start our Christmas break a few days earlier this year than normal. I’m super happy  
“Do you think she really loved Sesshomaru?” Sango questioned, closing the book on that page. Mrs. Higurashi’s eyes were watery. She dotted her eyes with the edge of her fingers. Sango couldn’t prevent her eyes from watering as well.  
“Yes Sango, I really do. She killed herself for him, because of him, because he must have broken her heart. Do you think he ever cared her?” Mrs. Higurashi returned the question. She slowly sipped the tea. Her hand was twitching and Sango couldn’t believe she was about to spill tea.
“I don’t know, I really don’t. I haven’t really been to school since Kagome’s death. I miss her too much. Everyone in the hallways just gossiping and being stupid like she was never even there” Sango said, her heart bleeding out for her best friend. Kagome could have told her, should have told her. They’d be friends since 9 years old. But she never came to her with this; did Kagome not view them as being besties like Sango thought.
“Sango, dear, you can’t let Kagome’s tragedy stop you from living. This is your senior year of high school. You have prom, graduation, and college applications to worry about. Kagome would not have wanted you to give up living just because she chose to” Mrs. Higurashi whispered, her eyes still puffy from the tears.
“We did everything together; we were going to university together, we were going to be dorm roommates and have a joint graduation party. How can she expect me to live on after she left this earth? How could she be so selfish?” Sango hissed, tired of feeling helpless.
“Kagome did what she thought was best. She must have thought there was nothing more she could do. She must have thought she was better off not around than continuing to be hurt by this boy” Mrs. Higurashi responded, her voice limp. She had long ago lost her ability to feel anything besides numb.
“Mrs. Higurashi…” Sango started but her cell phone sharply rang. She looked down to see the harsh blue glow of her screen and the word “MOM” appearing.
“It’s my mother, I have to take this” Sango said politely, excusing herself from the kitchen table and into the living room.
“Hello mother” She answered dryly. She was already in a miserable mood, and her mother made it worse.
“Why are you not at home? You said you weren’t feeling well” Mrs. Slayer said.
“I’m not feeling well…” Sango started.
“But you aren’t home. You ran off to Kagome’s house again, didn’t you?” Her mother questioned. Sango let out a slow breath.
“Yes mother. I went to the only person who can understand how badly I miss Kagome” Sango replied. Her mother snorted on the other line.
“Sango, that woman has enough problems on her plate with the loss of her daughter than to deal with you coming by all the time. Don’t you think it’s hard for her to see you, her daughter’s best friend, still living and breathing while her daughter is dead? You remind her of Kagome every time you sit down in her kitchen and share a cup of tea. Isn’t that a bit selfish of you to go and seek her comfort?” Her mother retorted. Sango was shocked. She glanced back at Mrs. Higurashi’s sad form in the kitchen and wondered if her mother had a point at all.
“I’m getting off the phone, I will be home later tonight. Bye mother” Sango said. She flipped her cell phone closed and went back into the kitchen.
“I’m sorry about that, Mrs. Higurashi, are you alright?” Sango asked, placing her hand on her shoulder.
“Oh yes Sango, I’m fine. Just thinking of Kagome makes me cry. I wish I had the courage to read her diary, I want to know why…why?” Mrs. Higurashi asked, collapsing on the table into another fit of sobs.
“Do you want me to read it to you?” Sango asked when Mrs. Higurashi finally calmed down and was able to grasp onto her emotions better.
“If you would” She said, motioning to the diary.
Dear Diary,
Our engagement is going even better than I expected. These last few days have been absolute heaven for me. Sesshomaru introduced me to his younger brother, Inuyasha, and two of their close friends, Shippo and Miroku. He is finally claiming me in public. We went out to dinner at BJ’s Brewhouse and then he got me dessert at Baskin Robbins. It was so sweet. I got to sport around my beautiful ring on my finger. After our outing, we dropped all the boys off at the Taisho mansion and we went to a hotel. Sesshomaru was so sweet and loving, he carried me into our room, and he laid me on the bed, and made passionate love to me. Never has he ever treated me as nicely as he did today. He called me his “little princess” and he treated me like a goddess. Tonight I am truly in heaven
“Did you know about this, Sango?” Mrs. Higurashi asked. Sango shook her head side to side violently. What did Sango do that day? Why couldn’t she remember? She wracked her mind for where she could have been when Kagome was having this amazing night but she doesn’t remember.
“I didn’t, Mrs. Higurashi, I promise. Kagome and I had fallen kind of distant by mid December. I was so busy with school and she never returned any of my phone calls or messages, I assumed she was busy too” Sango answered, looking up at the ceiling as if there was a message for her there.
“It’s fine dear, I understand. Kagome was becoming a bit of a recluse towards her…last days. She wouldn’t even come out to eat with Souta and me” Mrs. Higurashi said sorrowfully. She grasped her mug tightly.
“I never knew, she was always acting so strange at school. She insisted on eating by herself in the library during lunch. I wish I would have pushed harder, I wish I would have forced her to talk to me. Why didn’t I?” Sango questioned aloud.
“Sango, dear, there’s nothing you could have done. Kagome’s mind was made up to be involved with this…Sesshomaru fellow…and there was nothing anyone could have done to save her. You cannot take responsibility for this” Momma Higurashi claimed. But her words could do nothing to ease the guilt Sango felt in her soul.
“There are 2 more entries before the last one, do you want me to continue?” Sango asked. She sat there rustling the edge of the diary paper, afraid to read on but unable to resist wanting to know more. This is all she had left of Kagome. There must be something terrible that happened for Kagome to kill herself. Sesshomaru was treating her so well, what went wrong?
“Go ahead and read just one more, then I think you should return home to your mother” She said softly, and Sango looked over at the clock on the counter. It was almost two in the afternoon. Her mother would be pissed for her to have stayed on here so long.
The days have been excruciatingly painful. I haven’t been able to see Sesshomaru because of the winter break and holidays. I miss my fiancé dearly. He has called once and texted a few times but I know he is busy with his family. He claims to have a surprise gift for me when I see him in a few days. I know it’s going to be amazing. He wants me to come dressed in my finest attire for this big event. All of his friends and their significant others will be present, and it’ll be in a little conference room in the hotel we first stayed in. I’ve already laid the groundwork with Momma to let her know I’ll be out with Sango.
Poor Sango, I don’t know why I haven’t talked to her in a few days..She tried to talk to me over a week ago but I brushed her off. I know Sesshomaru doesn’t like her and she does not approve of him…what was I supposed to do? I finally made things work with the man that I love, and I can’t risk my happiness on a friend. Maybe one day he will grow to tolerate her so we can spend time together again.
I haven’t been able to find the right outfit for this event. I think my black and white polka-dotted mini dress and black flats will do the job. I doubt this event is that big. His parents aren’t coming so it can’t be that big of a deal.
“She never came to see you” Mrs. Higurashi said shocked, she looked hurt and confused. Sango kept her eyes low to the table.
“No, Mrs. Higurashi, she did not. I hadn’t spoken to Kagome in almost two weeks by the time she wrote this. She was avoiding me on purpose…” Sango said, drifting off. For a second, she flashed red. Kagome was supposed to be her best friend, they grew up together, and told each other everything. But because Sesshomaru did not approve of her, Kagome was going to let their entire friendship go? Where is the loyalty in that?
“I have to go Mrs. Higurashi ,thank you for allowing me to spend the day with you” Sango said formally. She gave Kagome’s mother a quick squeeze, and she fled from the Higurashi house. She drove like a madwoman to her house. Her mother’s car was already parked in the driveway. She braced herself for the worse.
“Sango Slayer, when I told you to come home, it was not optional” Her mother’s voice boomed through the living room. Sango rolled her eyes.
“I had to spend more time with Mrs. Higurashi. She does not mind me coming over” Sango said.
“You are forbidden to go over there and spend any more time with her. And if I catch you again, I will send you off to an all girls’ boarding school until you graduate, do you understand me?” Her mother snapped.
“Yes mother, may I go to my room now?” Sango asked. Her mother placed her hands on her hips.
“I had your brother, Kohaku, get your homework, so work on that while you reflect on your poor choices” Mrs. Slayer handed her daughter the homework packet. Sango took it and went to her room. She threw the packet across her desk and flung herself across the bed.
She needed to know what happened to Kagome. What happened at that formal event with Sesshomaru that made her want to kill herself? Why didn’t Kagome tell anyone? Could Sesshomaru have killed her and forged this whole thing?
Dear Diary,
Tonight was a travesty. I was literally embarrassed from the moment I got to the hotel’s convention center until now. I was dressed up in my finest, looking greatly, feeling great, I wore my engagement ring on my finger, I was happy, smiling, perky, everything. Sesshomaru was there with Miroku, Kikyo, Mayuri, Inuyasha, and Kagura. They were already seated at this round table, and Sesshomaru had an empty space beside him.
He invited me to sit down, had me right by his side. Told me he had a video to show everyone, a little video of me and him that he wanted to share. So the lights were dimmed and he hit play on the DVD player connected to a big projector. On the screen was me…naked. And I realized this must have been recorded from when I last had sex with him in the hotel room.
I pleaded with Sesshomaru to stop. To turn the movie off and stop playing this practical joke on me. In front of everyone, there was me…moaning, screaming, grunting, riding him, being ridden, and they were laughing. I stood up from my seat and just stared at the screen, mortified. I looked down at Sesshomaru, who was smirking at me. Kagura came over and plopped herself in his lap.
She asked me if I thought he really loved me. All I could do was nod like a fool. She flashed me her exquisite 14 carat gold diamond engagement ring, the one Sesshomaru bought for her. She was going to be his wife, she was gonna be the wife of a future CEO, she was going to have him and I never could.
I screamed at him, “did you ever love me?” and you know what he replied… “No, you stupid bitch, you were just a fun toy to play with while Kagura was away delivering our baby”. Their baby. Apparently Kagura was constantly absent because she was dealing with her pregnancy. But there was no baby in the room.
I told him I didn’t believe him; that he couldn’t have gotten her pregnant. But Kagura flashed me a family photo. Her on the left, their small newborn baby dressed in all blue, and Sesshomaru standing regally on the right in this small wallet-sized photo. And I realized that the joke was on me. All those times I thought he loved me, the small engagement ring he bought me, that stupid night I met all his guy friends, the times we had sex, it was all a ploy for him. All along he was looking for some loving while his real fiancé was recovering from having a child. I was just a comfort girl, a bed warmer.
So I ran out of the room. I was halfway down the hotel hallway when a clerk asked me to stop. Nobody chased after me, nobody tried to save me from the embarrassment. I looked down at my phone, but there were no missing calls, no text messages, nothing. I was truly alone. I couldn’t even bear driving home. Tears kept flooding my eyes and I could barely see the road but I made it somehow. Mom and Souta were in a deep sleep, so I crept into my room and now I’m here. I’m too shook up to sleep, I can’t believe he lied to me, he fooled me, he tricked me into believing that he really wanted me. He was just using me. Everyone tried to tell me he was no good, that he was a waste of my time, that he didn’t love me, that he didn’t deserve me, but what did I do? I isolated myself from my friends, my family, my school, I threw myself into someone who never once cared. Who never once loved me?
How can I pick up the pieces? I can’t go back to school, I can’t try to hang out with my old friends, I can’t look in their faces and explain how I let Sesshomaru screw me over again. I can’t face Sesshomaru and his posse either. They’ve all seen me, they all were in on the joke, they know what I did. And that video…they can show ANYONE, it could be online, it could be viral to everyone in the entire school in hours. How can I live with that? IF any employer or university administrator finds out, I will never be taken seriously! I could lose my admission acceptance and any scholarships. I can be shamed out of class Valedictorian, and then what will my mother say? What will my friends and peers say? How can I continue on for the next few months?
If I could make it then I’ll be in the clear but I can’t even imagine how that is going to work for me. What if I’m not strong enough to survive him? What if he’s gonna win after all. He’ll get away with hurting me and I have to be the one trying to deal with the pain.
Sango lost it at this point. Kagome was dealt a horrible hand. She knew the last entry was the one from the day of her death, but Sango didn’t know what to do. Who could she tell? Who could she confide in? The only person that came to her mind was Mrs. Higurashi.
“Mrs. Higurashi, I read more of Kagome’s diary. I wanted to discuss certain things with you. Is now a good time?” Sango asked.
“Yes Sango, did you want to come by or would you rather tell me over the phone?” Mrs. Higurashi asked.
“Over the phone, I’m forbidden from coming to your house. I read all but the last entry of Kagome’s diary. And I wanted you to know that you can press charges against Sesshomaru if you wanted to. Kagome has left behind several important tidbits that can be used against him” Sango started.
“For me to press charges, I’d have to prove that he contributed to Kagome’s death, or he committed a crime against Kagome. Does anything in her diary prove that?” She questioned.
“Sesshomaru had sex with her at least three times in the month of December and he made a secret sex tape against her will that he showed all his friends. You can check the hotel logs at the hotels and get a supena for the sex tape. Miroku, Mayumi, Kagura, and Inuyasha can also testify to the existence of this sex tape. In addition, there’s a hidden flap somewhere in Kagome’s jewelry box where she hid a diamond ring that Sesshomaru gave her” Sango continued.
“He showed a sex tape of my daughter that he illegally obtained to his friends? Did she know?” Mrs. Higurashi exclaimed.
“Yes, he showed his friends the sex tape with Kagome present, it happened the night before she killed herself. I will drop the diary over tomorrow on my lunch period so that you can use that as evidence as well. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news” Sango apologized.
“It’s fine Sango, we will get the justice that we needed. Kagome’s death will not be in vain” Mrs. Higurashi promised. They mutually hung up and Sango knew she could not rest until she read the last entry. As hard as it was, as sad as the ending would be, Sango was determined to see it through.

Dear Diary,
Today is my last entry. I can’t keep going this way anymore. I have no life left to give. I finally understand Sesshomaru’s name, he is truly the killing perfection. He is the perfect predator. He lures girls in with his charm, his smooth talk, his “nerdy” personality, his teddy bear appeal. His body just lures you in. HE entices you to come into his trap, and then once he got you, he is so perfect, so wonderful, and so sexy, that you never want to leave. He knows just what to say, just what you want to hear. He is able to slay you with his “acting” and you’re dead before you even realize the trap. Every girl he ever leaves is always ruined in the mind. He tears apart their soul, he ruins their psyche, and they’re never the same after being with him. But not me. He can’t hurt me anymore. He thinks he can win but he can’t, not if I win the game first. That is why I’ve gotten all the supplies I’ve needed. The chair, the rope, the music, everything I’ll need to make this as painless as possible. I don’t want to die, but I can’t let Sesshomaru kill me from the inside. And so, diary, I bid you adieu.
Sango bawled like a baby against the bed, clenching the diary against her chest, rocking back and forth violently, thinking “If only she knew she wasn’t alone. If only I made more time for her. If only…If only”.
No matter what else happened. Even if Sesshomaru was charged, even if justice was served, Kagome’s life was still lost, nothing could bring her back.