InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Last Girlfriend ❯ Chapter 13 ( Chapter 13 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer:Own Inu-chan I do not.
Own Itokuzu-pi(Sesshoumaru) I do not.
Own Miroku-san and Sango-san?
.......... -.- I don't and I wish I did.

Additional Disclaimer: I don't own author Valerie Frankel's book "The Girlfriend Curse", from which this story I've made a parody of(somewhat). So nobody sue me, or accuse me of plagiarism if you've read the book. I'm just altering some stuff, but the storyline remains indifferent all the same.

X) Oh yeah. The names of the characters, locations and events are plain fictitious.

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Dreamily, Sango's eyes opened in the morning. She felt refreshed and rested. Turning toward the night table and her travel clock, she saw that it was 10:04 a.m., and cringed.

"Shit and double shit...!"

She'd slept through her planned run with Miroku, breakfast and half the morning activity, whatever that was. Sango knew Shima would demand an explanation for Sango's sleeping four hours late, that this would only reinforce her reputation as a delinquent. Throwing her clothes on, Sango tried to get a story going.

"I was up until three in the morning." she'd say. True.

"Doing the questionnaire."

False.

Did she see herself as someone who'd lie to get out of trouble? What kind of idiot wouldn't?

She did feel bad about missing the morning run. Miroku's feelings might be hurt that she'd blown him off. She wondered if Kuranosuke had made it downstairs for breakfast at six. But that would be impossible on three hours of stoned sleep.

But, apparently, he had. When Sango finally located the women, meditating in lotus positions on the river's edge, Shima turned to her and said, "There's one in every group."

"Just one?" Sango asked for confirmation.

"The kitchen is closed until lunch." Shima continued.

Sango slapped her own wrist. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sleep late. I don't see myself as someone who is irresponsible." she defended. She remembered Miroku had described her as defensive, so she added quickly, "Not that I'm defending myself. I'm admitting guilt freely."

"Sit down and shut up." Keiko muttered, opening one eye. "Can't you see we're in a state of deep relaxation? And, just for the record, you didn't miss much at breakfast. Bran muffins the consistency of sand, and weak coffee."

"I made the coffee." Shima frowned.

"Try grinding the beans first next time."

All of the women were in yoga shorts, tank tops, barefoot and hair back in ponies. Sango had on tight jean cutoffs and sneakers.

"I didn't get the wardrobe memo."

"We sent out a clothing list with the literature prior to arrival. I'll get one for you." Shima turned to Sango again. "Did you do the questionnaire?"

"Up all night working on it. It's on my dresser."

"I'll pick it up before lunch. I'll have the results for all of you by the end of the week."

"I can hardly wait." Keiko said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"It'll be worth it." Shima apparently missed the sarcasm as she bubbled in earnest excitement.

The two women could only blink at each other. Sara, meanwhile, remained in her yoga posture, eyes closed, breathing rhythmically, either ignoring the conversation or swimming in the recesses of her mind. Shima gestured for Sango to find a spot, and bend her legs into a lotus.

Once Sango had twisted herself adequately, Shima explained. "We're doing a relaxation technique. Imagine you're breathing in a glittering blue light of health and fulfillment. Exhale the dark red of rage and confusion."

Sango swallowed a groan. Having watched Ginma transform into yoga central in the last few years with women trading their art portfolios for rolled-up mats, Sango reflexively distrusted the exercises. And did she have to visualize too? On an empty stomach? Guilty for her lateness, she didn't protest. Closing her eyes, she tried. She really did. But her thoughts drifted away from the glittering blue light and toward the wispy mental snapshot of Kuranosuke's hand, pushing the fabric of her dress higher and higher up her legs, until his fingers disappeared between them.

"Your mind may wander." said Shima. "Gently bring it back to focus."

After what seemed like ten hours(only thirty minutes), she asked the women to stretch in a Salutation to the Sun, and then they got to lay flat on their backs and Contemplate Their Navels. Sango contemplated with her eyes open, watching the streams of clouds float in the sky with impressive speed.

Keiko was cloud gazing too, as she pointed upward at one and stated, "That cloud actually looks like a navel."

Sara had fallen asleep.

"While Sara-chan takes her nap," Shima said, "you two can quietly reflect on this question: What do you want out of a relationship? We can discuss your thoughts in the canoes. We launch after lunch."

"Tell me they have an outboard motor." Keiko muttered.

Sango wondered if Shima ever prescribed self-reflection and contemplation about her own relationship, which, from what Sango had heard last night, was bathed in the dark red light of rage and confusion.

"It might help, Shima-chan, as our fearless spiritual guide, if you could tell us what you want out of a relationship." she suddenly suggested.

The younger woman paused. "This isn't about me."

"But you must think about it." Sango continued to coax, rolling onto her stomach(rumbling now), to look directly at Shima. She wasn't sure why she was pressing the matter. Shima's love life was none of her business. Nor did Sango believe that a guide or mentor had to serve as a role model. In fact, famous experts in history were their own worst example. Dr. Spock was a neglectful father, Dr. Atkins died obese, Dr. Freud had the sex drive of a smurf. Those who can't do may be resigned to teach(as Miroku had said last night), or they were attuned to other's shortcomings because they clearly saw their own.

"I want my relationship to be a caring partnership." Shima finally said.

Sara continued to snooze.

Keiko nodded. "I want to be taken care of."

"I want to take care of someone." said Sango.

"In several French studies," Shima then explained, "researchers concluded that women who want to be taken care of are looking for a father substitute, and women who want to take care of men are playing mother."

"That may be true." agreed Keiko. "In France."

"So what do you want in a relationship, Sara-chan?" Shima nudged the young brunette awake. "We were talking about how relationships sometimes mirror the parent-child-"

"I heard you." the woman muttered, eyes still closed. "I don't want a chichi-ue. The chichi-ue I've got is enough for ten lifetimes. And I don't want to be the haha-ue. I guess I'd want a sibling. I'm an only child. My parents try to control me. I always wished I had someone to share the burden, or just divert their attention."

"Can I ask, and I don't mean to be intrusive." it was Keiko. "What is the deal with your chichi-ue's hair? Is that a wig, or creative combing?"

Sara gave a small smile. "Wig. He has five of them on a two-week rotation. The fresh haircut wig, the two weeks' grow out and so on, until the "in desperate need of trim" hairpiece. My haha-ue hates that one. She thinks he should downgrade to four."

Shima rose. "On that note--giving us all a lot to think about, in quiet reflection--I'm going to set up lunch. I'll call you in an hour."

Time for Shima's break. Once she'd gone, Keiko turned to the other two and asked, "Is anyone else wondering what hiking and meditating have to do with relationships? I thought we'd get analysis on a couch, with a box of tissues."

"I never expected to get much out of Week One." said Sara. "Next week should be more revealing, when we do the simulated dating. But I think Sango-chan may be getting a jump-start on that front. Tell us, Sango-chan, where were you until three in the morning?"

"Simulated dating?" she asked. "You guys got a week-by-week breakdown?"

"With the clothing list. In the packet."

"I want a packet."

Keiko fixed surprised eyes on Sango. "You were up at three? I was out cold like a frying pan to the skull on that Xanax. I nearly collapsed with a toothbrush in my mouth. Sara-chan, you took one, and you were up at three?"

The brunette shrugged. "I've built up tolerance."

""Tolerance" being a euphemism for addiction?"

"Not addiction." Sara corrected Keiko. "Dependence."

"Addiction versus dependence." the chestnut became thoughtful. "That's like defining the difference between an accident and a mistake."

"Addiction is a mistake; dependence is an accident." Sango pointed out.

The three women thought about that.

"I'm addicted to men." said Sango.

"I'm dependent on them." said Keiko.

"I'm building up a tolerance." said Sara.

They thought about that too, before Sango broke the silence and said, "Back to the packet."

"Week One: Acclimation and Self-Analysis." Sara recited. "Week Two: Interpersonal Exercises. Week Three: Group Dynamics. Week Four: Incorporation and Evaluation. Now," she said, changing the subject, "back to what you were doing at three in the morning."

"I couldn't sleep after filling out that monstrous questionnaire. So I got some fresh air, on the porch. I acclimatized, and self-analyzed. Very hard work."

Sara smiled, disbelieving. "Liar."

Sango gave in. "Okay, okay. The truth is, I was with someone."

"Who?" asked Keiko eagerly.

"I was with..."

"Yes?" they prompted in unison.

Sango grinned. "The ghosts of relationships past."

"More like the specter of relationships future." snorted Keiko.

Keiko and Sara dropped the subject. They talked and cloud-gazed until Shima called them in for lunch. The men were already seated and eating ravenously, having spent the morning digging a septic sewer in a neighbor's field.

Sango sat next to Kuranosuke at the table, and he gave her thigh a squeeze, high up.

"You smell like dirt." she told him.

"According to Miroku, digging is like getting to know someone. Shoveling on the surface is easy, but unearthing gets harder the deeper you go."

She nodded. "Ah."

"Say that again, in my ear, but more like a moan." he whispered.

"Next week, we get to go on a simulated date." she told him.

"I don't want to simulate anything with you."

Sango felt like she was being watched. Sure enough, both Shima and Miroku had their eyes on her and Kuranosuke. Quickly, she plowed into her bean-sprout and eggplant wrap.

"I missed you this morning, Sango." Miroku said to her.

"I'm not used to getting up so early." she explained.

Meanwhile, Kuranosuke continued to stroke her thigh under the table.

"Maybe tomorrow?" her superior asked.

She smiled. "I'll try."

Miroku did so himself amicably. Sango watched him glance over at Shima, who assiduously avoided making eye contact with him. Meanwhile, Keiko stared at Karo, who kept a watchful eye on Sara, who was staring blankly into her plate. Kojiro, unable to get her attention, took to gnawing on a carrot like it owed him money.

Kuranosuke leaned towards Sango and whispered, "I'm still hard from last night. We need a second date. Tonight at ten?"

She nodded slyly, her heart already pounding in anticipation. She put a hand on his leg, and thought how of how she must be the happiest woman at this table.

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I need a love that could give me
the kind of love that will last always
I need somebody uplifting
to take me away
I want a lover who knows me
who understands how I feel inside
Someone to comfort and hold me
through the long lonely nights
till the dawn
Why you don’t take me away

Dreamlover come rescue me
take me up take me down
take me anywhere you want to baby now
I need you so desperately
Won’t you please come around
‘cause I wanna share forever with you baby

I don’t want another pretender
to disillusion me one more time
whispering words of forever
playing with my mind
I need someone to hold on to
the kind of love that won’t fly away
I just want someone to belong to
everyday
of my life
always
So come and take me away

Dreamlover come rescue me
take me up take me down
take me anywhere you want to baby now
I need you so desperately
Won’t you please come around
‘cause I wanna share forever with you baby

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A/N: e.e I wonder if I should just leave you guys here as a cliffhanger?
(starts like a pirate) XD Hardy-har-har!
Avast, me landlubbers! Be scribes and post reviews, or ye be walkin' the plank, ya all are! Hardy-har-har!
-,- I'm corny, I know...
:) Seriously, please R&R!