InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Last Girlfriend ❯ Chapter 14 ( Chapter 14 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer:Own Inu-chan I do not.
Own Itokuzu-pi(Sesshoumaru) I do not.
Own Miroku-san and Sango-san?
.......... -.- I don't and I wish I did.

Additional Disclaimer: I don't own author Valerie Frankel's book "The Girlfriend Curse", from which this story I've made a parody of(somewhat). So nobody sue me, or accuse me of plagiarism if you've read the book. I'm just altering some stuff, but the storyline remains indifferent all the same.

X) Oh yeah. The names of the characters, locations and events are plain fictitious.

XD Everyone, thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks!

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That afternoon, the women took a five-mile canoe trip, first downriver, with the current, Shima making comments like, "You see how easy it is in the beginning? Everything flows in the right direction, you glide along, not a care, paddling easily."

On the way back upriver against the current, their arms aching, she'd then said, "When things get harder and the current runs against you, it's tempting to stop, to give up, to park on a nearby island, to forget the whole journey-"

"There's a nearby island!" Keiko suddenly shouted, pointing her paddle towards a tiny dot of land in the middle of the river. "Let's stop! Let's give up! Let's forget the whole journey!"

Sango agreed, panting. "Yes, let's! We get the message, Shima-chan. Relationships are easy at first, but challenges inevitably arise and one has to be willing to paddle through them, no matter how hard things get, even if you're pulling muscles in your forearms, or your neck is in spasm, or your back is sunburned!"

"And you're dying of hunger!" Keiko added. "What I wouldn't give for some of that tasteless trail mix from yesterday!"

Sara, still digging deep with her paddle after Sango and Keiko had taken theirs out of the water, asked, "Are my arms supposed to be numb? Look, I can pinch myself."

Shima agreed to take a break, so Sara steered the canoe towards the little island. They pulled up on a mud beach and lashed the canoe to a tree branch overhanging the river. They got out and invaded the island--twenty feet in diameter, nicely shaded, with a carpet of dry pine needles and a dozen sappy trees. Keiko and Sango lay down on the ground, enjoying the sunlight through the branches. Sara stood next to the canoe, paddle in hand, like a conquering hero. Shima sat on a rock by the beach, surveying the river.

"The reason relationships are easy at first," Sara began, "is because everyone is on his and her best behavior. You get comfortable, and the ugly truth emerges."

Shima nodded. "According to research, people let down their guard, on average, after six months."

Six months were usually when Sango's relationships went bad.

"It would make more sense if people showed the ugly truth from the start." she said. "That way, you can only improve."

"Only, who's going to get involved in the first place with the ugly truth? Men want the beautiful lie." Keiko pointed out. "So do women, we want illusion. Reality is a disappointment."

"Or maybe," Shima added, "you can be your true self, develop a friendship that can deepen over time, building trust and familiarity, and then shift into a romantic relationship that's based on something real."

"Once you're friends, you can't see a man the other way." said Sara.

"Besides which, where's the passion?" Sango asked. "If you can keep your hands off him long enough to become friends, that's a sign that there's no attraction."

"You can have passion with a friend." Shima told her.

"Are you speaking from personal experience, or research?" she asked, again trying to draw her out and satisfy her curiosity.

Shima seemed hesitant. "Miroku was my mentor when I was a grad student. We established a friendship before getting involved."

"And that's when the passion emerged?"

Keiko gave Sango a questioning look.

"Study after study proves relationships that begin as friendships are three times as likely to result in marriage." said Shima.

"Will yours?" Sango asked.

The woman didn't respond.

Sara frowned. "I've never had a close male friend."

"I've got busloads of them." said Keiko. "Every man I date wants to be my friend."

Sango and her brother Kohaku were, in a way, friends. But he didn't count. Otherwise, she'd had some friendships with men in college, but she either slept with them and, thus, killed the friendship, or decided she would never sleep with them and moved on. She'd always worked with women, and refused to let ex-boyfriends stay in her life. She believed wholeheartedly that men and women could be friends. Rin and Kohaku, for example, still met for drinks, and had managed to form a friendship despite their failed romance. But Sango knew that if she were to make friends with a man, she'd have to be completely indifferent to him as a potential lover.

They got back in the canoe and paddled to the mansion's dock. They showered, had dinner(turnip and parsnip soup, with radish and celery salad) and were sent to their rooms.

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Sango was a bit bolder about leaving the women's suite that night at ten. Since Keiko and Sara knew she'd sneaked off last night, she wasn't compelled to be as stealthy about it tonight. They were busy anyway, pouring over Sara's personal pharmacy(besides Xanax, she traveled with Valium, Paxil and Xenadrine, among others), and Keiko's collection of vibrators(the Princess Rabbit, Pocket Rocket and Dancing Dolphin, among others). Sara was into pills, Keiko was into plugs. Sara could give Keiko relaxation; Keiko could give Sara satisfaction. Sango would rather find what she needed on Kuranosuke's lap.

And he was saving the seat for her right now.

She bounded down the stairs. Tonight, she'd do him. Putting off what they both craved seemed like a waste of time. Sango was quite certain she wouldn't go to her grave wishing she'd had less sex. Why deny herself? One should fill her life to the brim with sensual goodness.

With such thought in mind, Sango strode through the living room and punched the porch doors open. She smelled smoke immediately, and looked to her right, expecting to find Kuranosuke with a joint--ideally shirtless, and pantsless.

Instead, she found Miroku Yoshihiko--fully clothed--in the rocker, a cigar between his fingers.

Busted.

Sango kicked herself. Actually, got her feet tangled, and stumbled onto the porch. Fortunately, the railing stopped her from tumbling over the side.

"Expecting someone else?" Miroku asked, his eyebrows up, smiling pleasantly, apparently pleased with himself.

"This might be a good time to discuss my reservation with the Inward Bound program." she said.

"Hold those thoughts, and let me ask you something first."

Not giving her a chance to object, he began. "A woman possesses a rare and unusual sexual confidence she's grown accustomed to using. When she's attracted to a man, she immediately seizes on how "right" it feels, how she should follow her instincts. That denying a mutual attraction goes against nature. They jointly decide that there's no point wasting time, since they're clearly meant to be together. They become intimate. From that moment on, they spend every night together. She lets her friendships slide, cancels family plans because she'd rather be with him. After several months, they are essentially living together. And then, once they've settled into a domestic union, the man starts doubting his feelings. The magic of the first months has faded. He chafes at her expectations. He starts to pull back. In response, she goes into full-pursuit mode by catering to him, trying to make him happy, but he only finds the extra attention suffocating. In her desperation, she brings up the subject of marriage, causing him to feel a combination of pressure and guilt. Eventually, he ends the relationship, telling her, "You're the greatest woman I've ever known"."

Miroku took a long puff of his cigar, as Sango stood by the railing, looking a bit dumbfounded.

"I didn't hear a question in there." she finally said.

"What do you think you're doing with Kuranosuke Takeda?" he asked.

"Where is he?" she hoped he wasn't within earshot.

"He's not coming. We had a talk."

"You gave him a thirty-second relationship profile too? Which was spot-on, by the way."

Miroku smiled. "Kuranosuke's took fifteen seconds."

"This is your special gift?" she asked. "Sizing up people's relationship patterns at a glance?"

"I am a doctor." he answered, waving the cigar a bit, smiling as usual.

"My profile could apply to millions of women."

"Not many women have your sexual confidence, but I'm sure millions rush into relationships. The difference between you Sango, and the teeming, hormonally-driven millions, is that you're here and they're not. You have the opportunity to break your cycle of excitement, illusion and rejection. Don't you want to?"

Sango remembered a long time ago that she did want a cure for her "Last Girlfriend" problem, by any possible means necessary to get what she'd always wanted: unlimited love. But then, Fortune seemed to have had developed a fondness for her, ever since a god of a man had stepped onto the train she'd rode on towards Hokkaido. A god whom she'd pursued straight into the retreat that she now was a part of. So what then? If she was chronic and Kuranosuke was chronic, what better couple would they make? Both also whole-heartily agree to the relationship they could be having right now, if it wouldn't be for their annoyingly interruptive superior, Miroku Yoshihiko.

The blue-eyed doctor ventured. "Kuranosuke came here with goals. He deserves a chance to get something out of the program."

"We are consenting adults." she defended.

Miroku shook his head shamefully. "You can't possibly be selfish, Sango. But if you are, I'll refund your money, and you can leave tomorrow."

It was one thing to leave a party, but it was another to be shown the door. And Sango wasn't selfish. On the contrary, hadn't Daisuke described her as selfless?

"Do you have to throw ice water on a couple every session?" she asked him.

Miroku paused. "Not every session. But many people start off thinking Inward Bound is some kind of sex retreat."

"You might consider changing the name."

Miroku smoked quietly. She fumed at him.

"Not many runners smoke."

He laughed. Miroku would laugh at anything.

"I have one or two cigars a week. But you don't inhale cigar smoke, so my lungs are fine."

Sango leaned off the porch railing and took a seat in the rocker next to him. "Let me try that."

He handed her the cigar, coaching her about drawing and exhalation. She tried it, keeping the smoke in her mouth as instructed, and then blew out. It was strange not to inhale.

She handed the stogie back, and Miroku held it in his fingers, saying, "With cigars, you have to unlearn everything you know about smoking. It's odd at first, doing things differently, but you get used to the change. You might even decide you like the new way better."

Sango sighed. "With the exception of Shima-chan, you are the biggest metaphor whore I've ever met. You, Miroku, are a metawhore."

He chortled, which was a refreshing change from his usual titter.

"Here." he handed her the cigar.

They passed it back and forth until it was gone, without saying another word.

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I need a love that could give me
the kind of love that will last always
I need somebody uplifting
to take me away
I want a lover who knows me
who understands how I feel inside
Someone to comfort and hold me
through the long lonely nights
till the dawn
Why you don’t take me away

Dreamlover come rescue me
take me up take me down
take me anywhere you want to baby now
I need you so desperately
Won’t you please come around
‘cause I wanna share forever with you baby

I don’t want another pretender
to disillusion me one more time
whispering words of forever
playing with my mind
I need someone to hold on to
the kind of love that won’t fly away
I just want someone to belong to
everyday
of my life
always
So come and take me away

Dreamlover come rescue me
take me up take me down
take me anywhere you want to baby now
I need you so desperately
Won’t you please come around
‘cause I wanna share forever with you baby

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A/N: R&R, everybodyyyy! Or no more updates! Final warning!