InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Legend of Inuyasha: TOSMIWWTPAS ❯ The Chibi Forest ( Chapter 1 )

The Legend of Inuyasha: The Oddly Shaped Musical Instrument with Weird Time Powers and Stuff

Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Zelda-that's Nintendo and Miyamoto. I do not own Inuyasha-that's R. Takahashi. Heck, if you recognize something, just assume I don't own it. This will be an Inugome fic. If you don't support Inugome, you are advised to go win a Darwin Award. Reviews will be appreciated. Flames will not. Please note that I will not be especially faithful to source material. This is my story! My own! My…precious… **evil grin.** Anyways, read, enjoy, and review.

Chapter One

Once upon a time-a long, long time ago, to be somewhat more precise-in a land far, far away, there was a forest…a forest surrounded by an aura of evil invisible to the eyes of those not sensitive to magic.

"Hold it, thou dolt!" boomed an ancient voice. "Dost thou call that an introduction? Thou hath ripped off fairy tales and Star Wars in the same sentence. And furthermore, this is not Inuyasha's Forest! This is the Chibi Forest!"

"The Chibi Forest?" The narrator said incredulously. "What in the name of all that is Inugome are you talking about?"

"I am outlining thy extensive failures as a narrator, thou open sore upon the belly of a gout ridden skunk!"

"Who in Takahasi's holy name are you?" the narrator demanded.

"I am the Great Goshinboku Tree, Lord Guardian of the Chibi Forest, and speaker of Olde Englishe! I wilt not allow the travesty that is thy narration to continue!"

"I'm going to have to go with the tree on this one," the author agreed, appearing next to the tree. (Every story should have self-insertion, right?) "That was the most pitiful introduction I've seen in eternity." Shapeshifting into the Donald, he added, "You're fired!"

"Aww…" the ex-narrator pouted, slinking off to sulk, and possibly burninate a few villages.

"Note to self: Trogdor + Narration = Disaster." The author muttered. ((A/N: Don't own www.homsetarrunner.com, or, by extension, Trogdor.))

"Art thou quite finished?" the Great Goshinboku Tree groused. (Alliteration!) "That which we will call, for want of a better word, a plot, shalt not move itself along. And we seem to find ourselves narrator-less. If we doth not do something soon, we shalt have serious problems."

"Why?" inquired the author.

"Thou art writing shoddy, base humor and passing it off for fan fiction!"

"There's another kind?"

If the Goshinboku Tree had hands, it would have buried its face in them.

"Tell thou what: I shalt introduce the story, whilst thou recruiteth a new narrator."

"OK."

The Goshinboku Tree cleared his/her/its `throat' and began.

"Deep in the heart of the land of Sengoku Jidai, there is a great forest. It is named the Chibi Forest, after the eternal children who live there. They are a peaceful people, blissfully unaware of the troubles that daily face the outside world. Indeed, they are only dimly aware that an outside world exists; no Chibi may leave the forest lest death overtake them.

"All Chibis have a magical familiar, a guardian and advisor. Well, all except one. One boy, named Inuyasha, does not have a familiar, and so is an outcast. As of late, his dreams have been especially vexing…"

He stood in front of a massive stone structure. A…castle? Suddenly, the drawbridge came down and a pure white stallion galloped out. Atop it sat an ancient woman with an eyepatch and a young girl with brown hair and a small boomerang at her belt. She threw something back towards him, into the waters of the moat. As he followed its arc, he found himself face-to-face with a tall, imposing man perched atop a large arachnid…

"Myoga! Myoga the flea!" the Great Goshinboku Tree called weakly. "Sally forth unto me, Myoga!"

A small flea bounced up the Goshinboku Tree's trunk, and perched on his/her/its nose.

"Yes milord?" he said.

"The curse is eating me up from the inside. We hath no time to lose. I had hoped it would not come so soon…but `tis time for the boy without a familiar to begin his journey. Bring him to me, Myoga. Bring me Inuyasha!"

"Yes, milord!" The flea demon saluted, and bounded off towards the nearby Chibi settlement…bumping into everything in his path. The Goshinboku tree sighed.

"Forsooth, I likely should have checked that he had his glasses with him. Ah well, `tis a moot point now."

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Despite his miniscule size, and complete lack of opposable thumbs, Myoga somehow managed to scale the ladder of Inuyasha's treehouse. Unfortunately, he was not as lucky when it came to awakening the slumbering Chibi.

"With all due respect to milord, this is ridiculous!" Myoga whined. "Can the fate of the entire Sengoku Jidai really depend on such a lazy boy?"

At that exact moment, the dog-eared Chibi's hand shot out and crushed Myoga between his claws.

"What was that for?" Myoga asked.

"I've read the script," Inuyasha replied without opening his eyes. "I know that in about ten to twenty minutes, you'll be explaining in great detail how to open a door. I was hoping to preempt it. Apparently, I failed." Finally, the white-haired boy opened his eyes and sat up. "I suppose I have no choice now but to go on my life-altering mission."

"Damn straight." Myoga replied.

Sighing, Inuyasha got out of bed, and pulled on his boots and green Chibi Tunic.

"Green? What the feh?" he growled. "I wear a red Fire Rat tunic. Or did you even read the manga?"

"You'll get it later, Inuyasha." The author said. "Trust me."

Anyhow, having dressed himself (to the surprise of those who doubt his intelligence), Inuyasha stepped out the door of his treehouse. At that exact moment, a young, redheaded Chibi wearing a tooth necklace came running up to the base of the tree. ((A/N: Remember, all inhabitants of the Chibi Forest are regular characters in Chibi form. Including, until further notice, Inuyasha, but not Myoga.))

"Hi, Inuyasha!" she called.

"Kami," Inuyasha swore.

"What's the problem?" Myoga asked.

"That's Ayame. Our `fearless leader,' Kouga, considers her his girlfriend. Unfortunately, she considers me a friend-which Kouga perceives as muscling in on his territory. Every time he sees me with her, he makes my life a living version of the Eighth Hell."

"There are only seven hells," Myoga replied.

"Exactly."

Myoga grimaced.

Resigning himself, Inuyasha jumped to the ground. (Did you really expect him to just climb down?)

"Hi, Inuyasha," Ayame repeated. "How are…holy farglesnot, is that a familiar?" Ayame blinked, then added, "Farglesnot? Farglesnot? Who the hell wrote this script?"

"I did!" the author thundered. "And if you'd like to complain about it, I could simply anatomically invert you, and keep you alive in spite of it. Or do I have to use smaller words for a comparative insect like yourself to understand me?"

Myoga hid in Inuyasha's ear.

"I'll be good," Ayame whimpered.

"That's weird," Inuyasha observed. "Usually he just threatens us with bad lemons or…" he glanced from side to side, then whispered, "Caitlin Coblentz."

They all winced. Far in the distance, Sesshomaru screamed.

"Well, this seems to be just as effective, if not more so," the author replied. "Now get on with it." He vanished in a flash of lightning.

"Yeah, it's a familiar," Inuyasha told Ayame. "Bloody useless little flea called Myoga. Apparently the Goshinboku Tree sent him."

"The Goshinboku Tree? As in Lord Protector of Chibi Forest?" Ayame gasped.

"You know another one?"

"Wow! That's so cool! It's such an honor! Hurry up, I wouldn't want to keep you from your destiny-altering quest!" Glancing up into the sky, she added, "Why am I doing this? This part has Rin written all over it in large, underlined capitals."

"Sesshomaru refused to play Mido," the author explained.

"Damn obsessive shippers," Ayame muttered. The author rolled his eyes.

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"Halt!" Kouga roared when he saw Inuyasha approaching the entrance to the grove of the Goshinboku Tree. "Just where do you think you're going?"

"To see the Great Goshinboku Tree. Duh." Inuyasha replied. He attempted to push past Kouga, but got knocked on his butt instead.

"A half-breed like you? Don't make me laugh! You don't even have a familiar!"

"What am I? Chopped liver?" Myoga asked, popping out of Inuyasha's ear.

"Don't tempt me," Inuyasha growled at the flea.

"Holy crap!" Kouga gasped. "A fa-familiar? Well, you still ain't a true Chibi, and there's no way I'm letting you mess with the Goshinboku Tree! Seesh, you don't even have a sword and shield! Least you could do would be to equip yourself properly."

"Sword and shield? Oh, I got those yesterday when a bunch of Goshinboku Scrubs infested the treehouse. He produced a wooden shield engraved with a red capital G (for Goshinboku), and a sword, which looked like a toy and made a `clang' sound when he pressed a button on the hilt.

"A Goshinboku shield and the legendary Chibi Sword from the Hole of Z?" Kouga gaped. "Un-freaking-believable! How the hell did you…when did you…YOU SUCK! And you're the favorite of both the Goshinboku Tree and Ayame. You REALLY, REALLY SUCK! I FREAKING HATE YOU!"

"The feeling is mutual," Inuyasha assured him, and stuck the sword into the wolf demon Chibi's gut.

Nothing happened.

"What the freak?" Inuyasha growled.

"The long of it is that, long ago, minor characters evolved a strange survival mechanism-they are incapable of perceiving even mortal injury, and thus completely ignore any attempt to harm them," said Myoga.

"So…they're too stupid to die?" Inuyasha translated.

"That's the short of it." Myoga confirmed.

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"Salutations and welcome, Inuyasha," the Goshinboku Tree said as Inuyasha and Myoga entered the forest. "And thou also, Myoga. Thou hast arrived in what could be crudely termed as `the nick of time.' Inuyasha, I hath suffered a terrible curse, that even now devours me from the inside. It is up to you Inuyasha; thou must enter inside and destroy the monster that maintains the curse. Prove thy courage, and end the spell! And thou, Myoga, thou wilt aid him."

The Goshinboku Tree opened his mouth. Shrugging, Inuyasha went inside.

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True_Love: WHO-HOO! I'M IN THE STORY!

Inugome 4ever: No, you're not!

T.L.: Yes I am! Now help me look for Fluffy-chan!

Sesshomaru: HIDE ME!

I.G.4.E: **Sigh.** Well, read and review.