InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Letter ❯ The Letter ( Chapter 1 )

It seems weird, unnormal; I can't believe how I miss you. It's unreal. We've had too many fights for this to be real. I can't understand why I see it now. How could I've been so foolish, I should've seen past your fake acts, and heard the hurt in your voice when you said you don't care, how we couldn't go no where. But I see now what you've meant my decisions kept us apart. My sub-consciences beats me up each day, the way, I let you leave, I wish it was a dream.

 

You said, “Well I might as well get back to school.” Now I can tell you didn't want to go home, you just wanted to stay but you are so kind you just wouldn't get in the way, but you weren't. We were just blind. Now I notice the tear the fell from your eye, the other guys, looking at me like I was crazy. But I should've been there. I just want to see your face, smell you hair. I can tell everyone knows, they new from the beginning. Everyone, except you and me. You thought but I broke you hopes your dreams, I just couldn't see what you've done to me.

 

Right now, I would kill to hear you yell at me.

 

I now know why that night, I put my hario into your bag, I knew you wouldn't check. It was that sub-conscience again. It wanted you to remember me. I wonder If you've unpacked yet. If you've even looked in that bag. You may come back, but I doubt that. I wonder If I could go back to get you, everyone wants me too. But I don't know If I can face you.

 

Amazingly my pride is not the problem, I just don't want you to think I'm using you, I want you to be here with me, I saw my mistakes. But I just think you'll be happier there, back with you family, your friends, and that hobo guy. It doesn't matter though, I'll always love you.

 

Yes I admit it now, I love you. Those three words, three little words. How hard would it have been to say them to you? Would you have stayed if I'd said them. Even in a mumble would your hope in me be restored? I doubt you would, you think I only see Kikyo in you. But it's the other way around. Each time I see Kikyo, I think of you. It's hard, now that you're gone she comes around more. It's sad though. I can only see her flaws.

 

It drives me crazy. I can't stand to see her, it hurts too much. I've never had that much luck. But show me a hanyou that does. I would've destroyed her clay body and sent her back to hell, but I couldn't, she looks like you so it would be as if I'm out on the hunt for you. I just couldn't do that, to set out to hurt you. But look at me. I did hurt you, all the time. With my attitude, my frequent visits to Kikyo. It tore at you inside till it made you leave, but I don't blame you, I would've left to.

 

I know this is out of the question, but I wish you'd come back to me. I wish one day I'll be by the well, and see you sitting on the well. This wish is what drives me out to the well and keeps me here. I've set up camp in one of the trees, I sit on my perch and watch the well, hoping to see your head pop out.

 

But, to tell you the truth I'm scared. Scared that'll I go straight back to pride mode, and blow it with you again. It's lucky for a hanyou to get a second chance at love, well anything really, but a third is really rare. But I've probably had so many chances. Each time you went home mad, and came back. It was a chance. I lost count. You're a saint Kagome, a blind saint.

 

I'm still blind by what you ever saw in me. What could you've possibly want in me, What was it? It couldn't have been looks, or personality. Those both have major issues. Was it the strength? Or was I just a fling while you had to stay inn this area. I can't say that. I take it back. You're to kind to do that.

 

Don't pity me, and come back. Only if you truly love me do I want you to take this into any consideration. It's hard to come back, to something. Just please don't play with me. But now I know what you meant. The day you left, I heard it. Your warning, before you turned around one more time. But I didn't think of it as anything, till now. But you're right.

 

You don't know what you got till it's gone.

 

It's hopeless to even keep writing. I bet you didn't know I could write. But I never told you much about me anyway. I can, surprisingly I'm one of the luckiest hanyou you'll ever meet. I can read and write. I've had love not once but twice. I've been given many chances to start over, like I am now but I always seem to be down on luck. I feel like a self conceded bastard. But that's true I am.

 

I wish…. I have too many wishes and dreams. That's what humans do, they always set themselves up for disaster. I didn't do that till I met you. But It's alright things were better in life when I met you. You freed me and helped me on the way and all I did was push you away. I don't know what to say anymore. This all feels like a pity letter. But I'm just writing to get it off of my chest.

 

You're gone now and there's no one who come over when I sit on the hill, but sometimes I do. And look back at the memories. I should've kissed you more, I did truly love you. I had so many opportunities. I let them all go, I was a fool.

 

Just one of the few who are in love with you.

 

It's funny I did it again, I wish I had the strength to give this to you. But I don't. But I'll drop it in the well. Maybe you'll find it some day soon.