InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Lucky Ones ❯ Chapter Twenty-Nine ( Chapter 29 )

The Lucky Ones

By Terri Botta

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Sole copyright belongs to Viz and Rumiko Takashi. I'm poor so don't sue.

Rating: R for later chapters.

Pairing: Inuyasha/Kagome, Miroku/Sango

Summary: Sometimes Fate hands you a gift you never thought you'd ever get, and it's up to you to accept it for what it is.

Email feedback to: tci100@psu.edu

Webpage: http://www.wordsmiths.net/Botta

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Chapter Twenty-Nine

The good thing about winter was that it always ended. Eight weeks after the first cold snap, the snow melted and the temperatures crept higher, opening the roads and making life much more pleasant; especially for Inuyasha who had insisted that Kaede spend the coldest of the winter nights with them in the den. By virtue of it being underground, the den was always a steady 12° C with very little variation. So even when the temperatures outside were below freezing, the interior of the den was warm, and could be made very cozy and comfortable with the addition of a small fire.

Inuyasha had fretted over the old miko's health and welfare in the cold, and he had practically forced her to stay with them in the den at night. After the first two nights of sleeping in the warmth and deceptive comfort of the underground shelter, Kaede no longer argued when Inuyasha came to get her. The soft bed and cozy space did wonders for easing the ache in her bones and joints, and Inuyasha half expected her to ask for a den of her own.

With the coming of Spring, Kagome saw the renewed restlessness come to her beloved. It telegraphed itself into his impatience and wanderlust… and other lusts. The normal bio-rhythms of the mating season hit her adult hanyou like a sledgehammer and she bore the brunt of his raging libido. There were days when he didn't let her leave the den for anything other than a bathroom break, and every time she thought he'd reached the peak of his sexual endurance, he surprised her by proving her wrong. She only hoped that he would calm down once the summer arrived, otherwise no shard hunts would ever be completed because she'd be too tired to stand up let alone travel anywhere.

Other than getting pounced on by an amorous hanyou what seemed like every five minutes, but what was probably more like every few hours, her life was going well. Yukio was seventeen months old and he had been with them for fifteen of those months. He was talking even more and fully mobile now; able to run, climb and jump which he did as much as possible- usually with one of them chasing after him and screaming his name. He idolized his father and adored his mother, and almost everyone was wrapped around his little clawed finger with few exceptions. He had almost free run of the little village and could be seen exercising his wandering, independent soul all around town, as was evidenced by the number of times Inuyasha had had to pluck him off a hut roof or snatch him away from a charging bull.

Both parents were hard pressed to keep up with him, and Inuyasha actually ventured to suggest leashing him or fitting him with his own set of prayer beads that would transport him back to his mother instead of subduing him the way his father's binding beads did. He lasted on the leash all of half a day, and Kagome was afraid to try the beads because she worried the transport spell wouldn't take obstacles into account, and accidentally slam her son into a hut or tree or other solid object as it yanked him back to her.

The threat of the leash or the binding beads, however, worked wonders to improve Yukio's behavior. The leash was a humiliation worse than a spanking and he would do anything to avoid being tethered. Seeing his indignant rage and resentment at being controlled, Kagome seriously considered freeing Inuyasha from his bindings. It seemed horribly unfair to her for Inuyasha to have them, and be bound by the subduing spell when she refused to do the same to her son. He really didn't need them anymore and she wanted to prove to him that she trusted him implicitly. She could think of no better way to prove her faith, love and trust in him than to remove the beads she thought he hated and resented so much. She left them on, however, at the adult hanyou's request.

Upon speaking with Inuyasha about his beads, he'd actually expressed distress at her suggestion that she take them off. He'd clutched them in his hands and looked at her as if she'd just threatened to steal his most prized possession. It was then that she realized that for Inuyasha, the beads symbolized his connection to her and he had no desire to be rid of them. He had argued that she had used the beads to save him more than once, and that the subduing spell worked wonders when his temper got the better of him and he really needed to sit and think things through a little more thoroughly. He recognized that he was still a little too hot-headed and often acted before he should. Having the beads to bring him down when he went haring off was a comfort more than a curse.

He had also made the case that the beads could be used to protect her should he transform into his youkai form and go berserk. She didn't bother to remind him that when he was in his youkai form, the spell didn't work because he simply couldn't hear her over the rush of the demon blood in his ears. In fact, after the first time he lost control of his youkai blood, she'd never used the subduing spell to bring him down again.

Regardless of his reasons, it was painfully obvious that he did not want to be free of the beads, so she left them. What she did do, though, was vow never to abuse them or use them to punish him undeservedly. It amazed her how much his disposition had improved now that they were so intimate and close. It was as if having her to love and be with brought out a side of Inuyasha that he had never shown before. While still irritating, abrasive and often reckless, much of his hurtful behavior had stopped and she found herself not needing to subdue him in order to get her point across. In fact, she rarely sat him more than a couple of times a month nowadays for minor infractions. His mouth, however, was still a problem, although she was considering it a lost cause. Besides Yukio was already imitating his father's bad habit of saying whatever was on his mind, in whatever language came to mind.

In truth, Yukio was too much like his father for Kagome's liking, and for all that Inuyasha was not the boy's biological sire, he was really proving to her that, while nature certainly shaped personality to some extent, nurture was the driving force in child development. Her son was proud, stubborn and obstinate as hell, but also sweet, happy and very affectionate. Because his life was safe, secure and loving, he wasn't developing the tough defense mechanisms Inuyasha had created in order to survive the hardships he had had to endure. In many ways Kagome saw in Yukio what Inuyasha could have been if Izayoi or his father had lived to raise him, and it made her somewhat sad, but Inuyasha always shoved her pitying thoughts away when she spoke of them, saying that he was fine and to be glad Yukio was so lucky to have them. It didn't stop her from wishing Inuyasha's life had been different, though, and she promised to make his life as lucky as Yukio's from now on.

"Okaa-san, Otou-san," Yukio said, popping his head back into the den.

Inuyasha was the first to rouse from the rumpled bed and he blinked at his son as Kagome rolled over.

"Eh? Pup what are you doing out there?"

"Yukio baby, did you leave the den while we were sleeping?" Kagome asked.

"Yukio go outside," he said simply, using his term for going out to relieve himself, and hopped down into the bedcovers to join them.

Inuyasha rubbed his son's ears and gave him a proud smile. "Good pup."

Yukio beamed back, then sniffed and sniffed again, his little nose screwing up. "Kussee," he complained, holding his nose.

"Oi!"

Kagome just giggled. "I guess it is a little ripe in here. We should open the door and let the den air out.

Inuyasha sniffed. "Smells fine in here to me. Smells like us and…" He gave her a wicked leer. "… all the fun we're having."

Kagome groaned. "In the meantime, no one wants to watch our little bundle of irrepressible energy and he's bored to tears."

"Feh, everyone spoils him. He needs to learn patience."

She raised one eyebrow, "This from Mr. I-Don't-Care-if-I'm-Human-and-Powerless-I'm-Going-Out-To-Fight-Anyway. You're one to talk about learning patience."

"Funny, you weren't complaining about my ability to wait a couple of hours ago," he commented, giving her a smug wink.

She threw a pillow at him. "Hentai. Anyway, I don't blame him for not wanting to stay cooped up in here with us. Besides, I need to go out myself."

Inuyasha rolled to his back and put his hands under his head. "Humph, I guess I'll let you."

"Let me, huh? Oh thank you for giving me permission to go outside, oh exalted one," she said dourly.

"Heh. I like that. Say it again."

"What part?"

"The `exalted one' bit. Say that."

"You sure?" `So you wanna be a chauvinistic pig, huh? I'll show you…'

"Yeah."

"Osuwari."

Since he was already lying down, the beads didn't take him far, but they did flip him over onto his face.

"Gah!"

`Humph, I swear you do it on purpose because you want me to sit you. I know I promised not to abuse the beads, but that was just too blatant to ignore.'

Yukio giggled. "Otou-san go splat."

Inuyasha just growled but that only made Yukio giggle more. Kagome gathered up some clothes and slipped into them, then turned to the toddler.

"Baby wanna come with Okaa-san?"

Yukio clapped his hands and reached for her. "Okaa! Okaa! Yukio come!"

"Okay, get on my back then."

He didn't need to be told twice and hopped right up onto her back, holding onto her shoulder. She took him out of the den and first went to their latrine, then down to the stream.

"Okaa-san needs to wash. Yukio want a bath too?" she asked when they arrived at their bathing spot.

Yukio immediately jumped down, his eyes wide.

"No! Cold! Cold! Cold!"

She laughed as she disrobed and slid into the water. "This from a baby that ran around barefoot in the snow this winter."

Yukio looked around. "Snow? Where snow? No snow," he replied with disappointment.

Kagome snickered and dunked her head under the water as Yukio sat cross-legged on the stream bank. He looked just like a miniature version of Inuyasha, complete with hands folded into the sleeves of his blue haori. Inuyasha kept saying he'd have to have fire rat clothes made for the boy, but he needed to find a nest of the youkai rats first, then he needed to find someone who knew how to turn the hides into clothing. Inuyasha's father had commissioned the clothes he wore and he had been presented with the haori, kimono and hakama for his birthday one year. The clothing had been with him ever since and had adjusted to fit him as he grew because they were linked to his youki and practically indestructible.

Considering how hard hanyou children were on their clothing, fire rat and youkai made garments were probably the only clothes that would last more than a few weeks, but since fire rats were rare and youkai tailors even rarer, having a set of the protective clothes made for Yukio was probably going to be no small task. Kagome had no doubts, however that somehow Inuyasha would see it done, and Yukio would have his own set of blazing red clothes before too long. Then he really would look exactly like his father.

She kept her head under the water for longer than Yukio was comfortable with and she smiled to herself when she saw him peering worriedly down into the pool.

"Okaa-san! Okaa-san!" he cried.

With a burst of speed, she leaped up and splashed him.

"Gotchya!"

Yukio screamed then started laughing even as he got wet. Kagome grabbed him and held him over the water.

"Oh no, I'm gonna drop you! Oh you're so heavy!" she teased.

"No! No! No!" he yelled, but he was still laughing.

She threatened to drop him a few times, always catching him at the last second. His squeals of delight filled the surrounding forest and she laughed with him.

"What is all this ruckus?!" Inuyasha groused. He was fully dressed and looked a little peeved about it. "I heard screaming and I thought there was trouble. Instead I find a wet human and an almost wet pup."

"Otou! Otou! Save Yukio!" the toddler begged, reaching for his father.

Kagome grinned and tossed Yukio over to Inuyasha. "Catch the pup!"

"Wheeeeeeee!!!"

The adult hanyou snatched him up easily and swung him around, eliciting more squeals of delight from the hanyou toddler.

"I swear pup, are you sure your father wasn't part bird-youkai? You just love the wind in your ears."

"Again! Again!" Yukio pleaded.

Kagome smiled and finished her bath as Inuyasha tossed Yukio into the air repeatedly. When she was finished, she dressed and made to head for the village.

"Oi! Where do you think you're going?" Inuyasha demanded.

"Down to see how Kaede and our friends are doing. You remember them, right?"

"Bah! They're fine. Nothing smells wrong. Let's go back to the den."

"I'd rather walk and stretch my legs a bit… and if you make one comment about other ways I can stretch my legs I will make you eat dirt," she warned.

He gave a little whine that told her that was exactly what he was thinking of saying, and she had to suppress a smile.

"Besides, our son is well and truly awake now, and you know I don't do anything in front of him."

"Feh," he snorted and Yukio mimicked him, even as he followed her down to the village, grumbling under his breath all the way.

"Inuyasha-sama! Kagome-sama!" Myouga greeted, leaping onto Inuyasha's nose as they entered Kaede's hut. The flea servant had arrived at the beginning of spring after safe travel from Toutousai's forge was possible. He'd come to confirm the rumors of Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha and Tenseiga for the youkai sword smith and had stayed. Both Inuyasha and Kagome figured he would stick around until there was trouble then disappear again.

Yukio did the honors and slapped the flea-youkai off his father. "Go `way, jiji."

`Jiji? When did he start calling Myouga `jiji'?' she thought with an exasperated sigh.

"Oi. Whaddya want, Myouga-jiji?" Inuyasha groused.

`So that's when,' she said dourly to herself.

"Nothing Inuyasha-sama. It has just been a while since we have seen you," the flea youkai replied, hopping up onto Kagome's shoulder.

Inuyasha snorted. "It hasn't been that long."

"No one in the village has seen you for two days."

Inuyasha grinned. "Well, I've been busy, Jiji. Why? Is there trouble coming? You gonna run away again?"

"Inuyasha. Kagome," Kaede said, calling their attention to where she and Miroku were sitting with two of the village men.

"Ah, Inuyasha-sama," one of the men greeted.

Kagome could see her lover trying to put a name to his face and coming up blank.

"Asaki," she whispered loud enough for hanyou ears.

He gave a grunt of acknowledgement. "Asaki."

"The other is Taro," she supplied again.

"Taro," he repeated, nodding to the other man.

The first man, Asaki, approached and smiled at Yukio. "And Yukio-sama grows bigger every day."

Yukio sniffed at him, mumbling in inu-youkai, :Pack-male.:

"I swear he has grown so much while we were on our journey and we were only gone three weeks. He is the size of my Yumi when she was two summers old."

Inuyasha gave a small smile of paternal pride. "Hanyou pups grow fast."

"So I am told. My Masumi told me he was chasing the oxen."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and nodded. "Yeah. But he won't do that anymore. We've threatened to leash him if he tries that again," he replied, glaring at Yukio.

Yukio's eyes opened wide and he flattened his ears as he put his fist in his mouth. :Pup good!: he insisted.

Kagome moved to take her son because it looked like the men had come to talk to Inuyasha. He reached for her, eager to get away from a possible leashing.

"No leash Yukio," he whined as she cuddled him to her shoulder.

"No leash if you're good," she reassured him, rubbing his ears.

Yukio sighed and snuggled against her. "Ears…" he breathed.

"Mmm-hmmm, Okaa knows you like your ears rubbed."

Yukio looked at her head, his hand coming up to touch her ear. "Okaa-san ears funny." He reached up and touched his own ears. "Yukio ears like Otou-san ears."

She giggled and nuzzled him. "That just makes your and Otou-san's ears special."

"You should learn to mind your manners, Yukio-sama!" Myouga scolded, hopping up and down on her shoulder as the toddler looked at him.

Yukio watched the flea-youkai bounce a few times then snatched him between two fingers the way he'd seen his father do and squished him. Myouga let out a little squeak and fell to the hut floor. Kagome tried very hard not laugh and gave her son a glare.

"Ohhh, Inuyasha-sama, the boy is definitely your son..." Myouga whimpered, collapsing on his back.

:Bad pup.: "That was very rude."

Yukio cringed.

"You apologize to Myouga-jiichan this instant."

Yukio peered down at the floor. "Yukio sorry, Jiji."

Myouga didn't answer. Kagome just sighed in defeat and gave up.

"I'm glad you joined us, Inuyasha. I was about to send someone looking for you," Miroku commented, drawing her attention away from her son.

"Heh! Know better than to do it yourself, eh bouzu?" Inuyasha replied with a glint in his eyes.

Miroku gave him a knowing look and motioned for them to sit.

"These men have just returned from KÅtsuke," he told them seriously.

`KÅtsuke? That's north of here,' she thought as she sat down with Yukio in her lap.

"Yeah, so what? What's that got to do with me and Kagome?" Inuyasha demanded, sitting down next to her.

"They bring some interesting news with them of their travels."

Both men nodded vigorously as they sat down as well. "There is a terrible beast that hunts the trade roads. Many samurai have been sent to kill it, but none have returned alive. The daimyos are combining their resources to wage war upon the monster," Taro said.

"Hmmm, a possible shard?" Inuyasha answered, his ears twitching with interest.

`Well, a shard hunt will get us out of the den at least…' she mused.

Miroku nodded. "That is my belief, but there is more. Asaki, tell Inuyasha the rest."

"One of the daimyos sent a messenger to the holy temple of Zenko-ji in Shi Nano. There is word of a shrine maiden of great spiritual power who can be found there, and the daimyo wishes to enlist her help in slaying the beast," Asaki said.

`A shrine maiden of great spiritual power?' she thought, her blood suddenly growing cold. `Could it be Kikyou?'

She looked at Inuyasha but his face had gone unreadable.

`If it is Kikyou, what is she doing at Zenko-ji? That's in what will be Nagano... in another few hundred years.'

"Did you see this miko?" Inuyasha asked carefully.

Both men shook their heads. "The daimyo had only just sent messengers once the mountain passes opened up and they had yet to return," Taro replied.

"KÅtsuke, you said?" the adult hanyou questioned.

Kagome's heart sank even further into her stomach. `We're going. Well, of course we are. Inuyasha won't pass up a shard hunt…'

"Yes, along the trade road," Taro confirmed.

"We know that you and Kagome-sama seek to gather all of the Shikon shards, Inuyasha-sama, so we came here immediately to tell you this news," Asaki added.

Inuyasha nodded. "We'll leave in the morning."

`At least he's not insisting on going alone. But if it is Kikyou and we run into her, what will we do? What will Inuyasha do? Kikyou's been gone for over a year.'

"Okaa?" Yukio asked, turning worried eyes her way.

`He feels my distress.'

"Okaa's okay baby," she comforted.

The village men stood and bowed. "We must go greet our families and prepare the goods we traded for. We brought back fabric, paper, and some metal for smelting," Taro said.

"We may even have traded for some candy," Asaki added, winking at Yukio and smiling as his little ears perked up at the word `candy.'

"I don't know. Only good pups who know their manners should have candy," she answered, giving Yukio a hard look.

"Yukio good! Yukio learn manners!"

"You promise?"

He nodded vigorously and she smiled. "Okay."

Yukio grinned and hugged her.

"Come to our hut this evening. We'll probably have it unpacked by then," Asaki told her.

She nodded. "Thank you."

With a final bow, both men left and Miroku turned to Inuyasha. "You are thinking the miko he speaks of is Kikyou?"

Inuyasha gave her a little worried glance then nodded. "Yeah."

"That is Kaede-sama and my belief as well."

"Inuyasha, what do you intend to do if this miko is Kikyou-onee-sama?" Kaede asked bluntly.

Kagome winced. `Ah, so straightforward. I know you're concerned about me but trying to pin him down like that will only make things worse.'

"I don't know," he replied just as bluntly.

"Well, at least you're being honest about it," Miroku said. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Inuyasha shook his head. "No. You stay here with Sango and… your pup."

His voice had faltered before he'd said `your pup' and the hesitation was not lost on her.

`He's worried.'

"I will accompany Inuyasha-sama. I do not like to leave his side," Myouga added sagely.

Both Kagome and Inuyasha gave him incredulous looks.

"Is that so?" Inuyasha commented.

"You will take Kirara with you too. I am assuming Kagome-sama and Yukio will be going as well?" Miroku said.

"Yes," she replied before Inuyasha had a chance to answer. `If you think you're leaving us behind, Inuyasha, you've got another thing coming.'

Miroku nodded. "I thought as much. Are you certain you don't want me to come along?"

"Your place is with your family, monk. Stay where you belong," Inuyasha answered a little roughly.

`And where is your place, Inuyasha? Will you stay where you belong?' she wondered with no small amount of concern.

Yukio, picking up on the change in mood in the room, started to fret.

"Okaa?"

She shushed him and bounced him lightly on her knee. "It's fine, baby. Okaa's fine."

Her son looked at her, then at his father and then back to her again. He blinked and raised one eyebrow, an expression that was highly amusing on a child his age, but she had to hold in her laughter because she knew he was being serious.

"Okaa-san sad," he said simply, chewing on one fist.

None of the adults in the hut had any answer or comfort for him, and when he looked to his father, Inuyasha looked away which made him even more upset.

:Leader-male?:

:Be still, pup,: came the stern answer, which did nothing to placate him.

:Pup good!!:

Kagome petted his hair and ears. "I know, baby. We know you've been good. We're not upset with you."

:Mother-female loves pup.:

Yukio whined and burrowed his face into her chest. She wrapped arms around him and pulled him close.

"We love you, baby."

"Do you wish to leave him here with us for the evening?" Miroku offered.

"No," Inuyasha answered immediately. "The pup stays with us."

There was something in his voice, in the timbre of his words that told her he was just as upset as she was.

"Very well. It was just an offer," the monk said.

Inuyasha nodded. "He wouldn't want to stay with you right now anyway, and you'd have to seal him to make him. I don't think that's a good idea right now."

`No, definitely not. He thinks we're upset with him. To force him away from us would only traumatize him and make him think we're rejecting him from the pack,' she thought in agreement.

"I agree," Miroku spoke before she could say anything.

Inuyasha abruptly stood, his hands hanging limply at his sides. "I want to go back to the den."

She stood up with him, holding Yukio close. "I should probably go through the well and get supplies for our trip."

He nodded. "Later."

His voice brooked no argument so she gave none.

`He either wants comfort sex or he wants to talk. Knowing him, he'll want both.'

"I will let Sango and Shippou know of your plans. Kirara will join you as always, but I suspect Shippou will want to come along as well," the monk said.

"He watches the pup for us," Inuyasha confirmed.

"So you will come to our hut before you leave?"

Inuyasha nodded. "Yeah. We'll come in the morning."

"I will be there too," Myouga said.

Miroku looked at them, a small smile gracing his lips. "We will leave you alone until then. I am sure you have a lot of… plans and preparations to make."

The very fact that he didn't rise to take Miroku's bait was proof that Inuyasha wasn't in the best of moods. He merely nodded, then put one hand under her elbow and urged her out of the hut. She barely had time to say good-bye to Kaede before he was practically pushing her through the doorway.

"I'll see you later Kaede-obaachan," she assured the old miko as she was ushered past the reed door.

Kaede clucked and chuckled. "Of course, child. I'll have a traveling medicine bundle ready for you."

"Thank you!" she called as Inuyasha gripped her arm a little tighter and gave her a light pull.

Inuyasha was silent as they walked back to the den and she was afraid to speak. The look on his face was one of grim determination and deep thought; two expressions that marred his handsome features and made the cold settle even more into her gut. Poor Yukio was so rattled that he'd transformed into "Velcro Baby" and dug his little claws into her shirt, refusing to be dislodged even after they had reached the safety and comfort of the den. It wasn't until he had been soothed, coddled and placated that he finally stopped whimpering and clinging, and let go.

Inuyasha gathered them both to him, his arm around her shoulder as he tucked his son against his chest, and held them close. His tight embrace wasn't what she was expecting, and she couldn't even begin to guess what was going on inside his head. She wanted to ask him what he was thinking and to offer what little comfort she could, but his silence made her worried and she feared his reaction should she say the wrong thing.

"Do you… do you want to go with me to my time and have us stay overnight there?" she asked finally.

"No," he answered softly. "I'll… I'll go with you, but I want to come back and spend the night here in the den."

"Alright."

They fell silent again and Inuyasha tucked his face into her hair, breathing in and out slowly. Kagome knew him well enough to know that he was getting his feelings under control, and preparing to close himself off the way he always did when presented with an emotional challenge. She didn't want him to pull away from her and leave her feeling abandoned. She was worried enough about the possibility that Kikyou wouldn't release Inuyasha from his promise that the last thing she wanted was for him to shut her out.

"What do you want to do?" she asked, her voice loud in the silence.

"I don't know. I… I just want to be with you and the pup right now. No one else."

"Okay."

She snuggled close and petted her son's hair. He was tucked against his father's chest, his little head nestled under Inuyasha's chin, and he was doing his best to stay quiet and still. He knew his parents were unhappy and didn't know what to do, so he opted to do what his instincts were telling him and make himself as unnoticeable as possible.

"He's upset," she said, hoping to use Yukio as a way of keeping Inuyasha from shutting them out.

"I know. Pup doesn't understand."

`Neither do I,' she thought sadly.

They stayed that way until Yukio fell asleep. Then Kagome put him carefully in his bed so as not to wake him and turned her attention to comforting her adult hanyou. Normally she didn't initiate sex unless her libido was increased because of her heat cycle, and she usually didn't have to even then because he initiated lovemaking almost every night. But now he seemed shy and uncertain, and she thought he might be feeling insecure. Kikyou always managed to drive a wedge between them, and he might think asking for attention under the current circumstances would get him refused.

Her suspicions were confirmed when he relaxed and sighed with relief as she kissed him, and wrapped his arms around her.

"Kagome…" he breathed and the desperation in his voice told her everything she needed to know. He was scared and worried, and he needed her to be the strong one because he didn't know what was going to happen any more than she did.

Their lovemaking was slow and gentle, almost reverent, and he took her with such love and tenderness that she thought he was trying to tell her how much he loved her before he had to say goodbye. She cried afterwards and he licked her tears away, whining softly in a way that she had never heard him do before. Yukio woke up and wanted cuddling so they snuggled with him under the covers, curling around each other and drawing solace from the warmth and physical contact.

Later they all went to her time and did the shopping. It was one of the few times the carriage Mama had bought came in handy, even though Yukio didn't like it and preferred to ride on one of his parents' shoulders. They put him in it anyway and wheeled him down the streets of Tokyo; looking very much like a normal mother and father taking their young one out for walk. Well… as normal as two silver-haired, golden-eyed boys dressed in hakamas and haoris and wearing caps to cover their dog ears could be.

Passer-bys always stopped to see the baby and Yukio always scowled at them if Inuyasha's glares didn't scare them off to begin with. Kagome didn't like to encourage the anti-social behavior, but Inuyasha explained that it had less to do with Yukio not liking people and much more to do with the strange scent. Strangers weren't pack and therefore could not be trusted, so Yukio didn't want them near him.

A trip to the grocery store, two cartons of ramen and three bags of food later, they returned to the shrine. Mama insisted on having them stay for dinner and Kagome didn't feel she could say no, especially since the journey to KÅtsuke was going to be a long one, so it was well past dark before they got back to the den. Yukio was zapped out even before they returned and not even the trip through the well woke him up. They settled him into his bed and turned to each other once again.

Few words were spoken, as if neither of them knew what to say, or worse, everything that could be said had already been said and there was no point in breaking the peace between them. Kagome was painfully aware of his position, just as he was aware of hers, but he had made his commitment to keep his promise to Kikyou if she demanded it of him and he had no intention of breaking it. Inuyasha had nothing but the clothes on his back, Tessaiga, and his word, and he was above all things an honorable man. One wouldn't think it of him with his crass ways and harsh mouth, but he took his responsibilities and integrity very seriously, and she would never ask him to compromise himself on something that was so very important to him.

It seemed funny to her that he valued his word above his hanyou nature. He'd been willing to give up all his power, long life and strength to become human for Kikyou, but he would not give up his honor. She, of course, would never dream of telling him that to his face, but if there was anything she was slightly bitter about, it was the fact that he was willing to give up so much for a woman who she believed had never truly loved him, and yet he refused to deny her the claim she had placed upon him.

Kikyou said Inuyasha's life was hers because she had died for him. Kagome felt badly about that, but she had started to believe Sango and Kaede's words that Inuyasha had paid his debt to Kikyou with Naraku's death and that Inuyasha was now free. She wished Inuyasha believed it too, but it was obvious that he did not. Still, he maintained that he would do all he could to stay with her and Yukio, intent on keeping his promise to Kikyou after Kagome had lived out her short human lifetime. There was a huge kink in that Grand Master Plan that she never bothered to point out, and it seemed it was the elephant in the living room (or den as the case may be) that he absolutely refused to acknowledge: the lives and needs of the family they planned to have.

If he went to Hell with Kikyou or went off with her wherever, who would be left to be there for their children? If she was dead and Inuyasha was gone with his former lover, there would be no one to guide and care for their family. Even if she lived to be 100 years old, from what Inuyasha had told her, their children would be barely out of childhood when she died. Inuyasha insisted that he wanted pups and she was more than willing to provide, but if he had plans to abandon her babies to go running off with the clay pot after she was dead and buried, she needed to make it very clear to him that there would be no pups if that was truly his intent. It was bad enough that Yukio would lose both parents, but she wasn't about to doom any other children to that fate if she could help it.

She was really hoping, since the one who knew Kikyou the best was Inuyasha, that he was right about Kikyou's change of heart. However, she wasn't holding her breath because not even Kaede believed Kikyou had done that much of an about-face. The old miko maintained that her sister was dead, and that the person who now bore her sister's face was nothing more than a pale imitation fueled by hatred and dead souls. It was true that the undead miko had been different since that day Kagome had healed her of Naraku's miasma, and she wanted to believe that she had helped to comfort and ease Kikyou's wounded heart, but that seemed like such a huge task for someone as small as she and she couldn't bring herself to believe it.

What she should be doing, she knew, was preparing for the worst. She needed to be ready to deal with the consequences of Kikyou demanding that Inuyasha go with her. She half expected the miko to say her year away was a favor to Inuyasha in trade for having to leave his second love.

`I get a year and she gets him for eternity. Good trade.'

She had to be ready to be there for Yukio, to comfort him when his father did not return, and be able to raise him as best she could without another hanyou around to help her. There was so much she still didn't know about hanyou development and growth. She had no idea what expect or how to handle situations she knew would be unique to him- like learning to use his hanyou powers, learning to use his senses, learning to hunt... so much she wasn't strong enough or fast enough to help him with, not to mention that she would die well before he reached maturity.

`My baby, my poor baby will be all alone. When I die, where will he go? Who will help him? Who will love him? Who can I trust to take care of him after I'm gone?'

The grief threatened to overwhelm her because she knew there was a possibility that she would lose Inuyasha to Kikyou once the undead miko found out about Yukio and the fact that she and Inuyasha were now lovers.

`She'll think I did it on purpose to steal him from her, and she'll take him. But I didn't! I didn't do it on purpose. I just love him so much and it just happened; everything just happened. But she won't see it that way. She's always seen me as a threat. Now her fears will be confirmed and she'll make him keep his promise. How? How will I do this? How can I tell my baby that his father-the father he idolizes- isn't coming back? How do I live with this? How can I bear his loss?'

Tears threatened again and she tried valiantly to hold them back because she knew both her hanyous would wake at the scent of the salt on her skin. She sniffed and Inuyasha proved to her that he wasn't as asleep as she thought he was by pulling her closer to his body and nuzzling into her throat.

"You... you have to tell me everything you know about hanyou children. I need... I need to know for Yukio. I need to be able to be a good mother to him..." she begged him, her hands gripping his and threading their fingers together.

"Shhh. You are a good mother. No one could ask for a better mother than you, Kagome," he whispered, sucking on her earlobe because he knew it soothed her.

"But... you'll be gone and I won't know what to do..." There, she'd said it. He would be gone and she would have to raise their baby alone.

He stiffened and pressed his lips against her flesh, and she could feel the slight tremor running through his body at her words.

"We... we don't know that," he replied softly.

"But we do. We know we're going where Kikyou might be. If she sees you and demands that you go with her..."

He placed a hand over her mouth gently. "Don't speak of such things. Not here, not now."

She bit back a sob and turned her head abruptly. "If I don't now, then when? Before she drags you to Hell? It will be too late then," she hissed trying to keep her voice down so Yukio wouldn't wake up.

"I told you before that I don't think Kikyou wants to die anymore. Besides the Shikon no Tama isn't complete yet."

"But what if you're wrong? What if she does? What if she just wants to take you away with her once she finds out about us and Yukio? She's always seen me as a threat. You know she has. Once she sees us and the baby, she'll know. You know she'll know. We won't be able to hide it from her! She'll take you away from us," she interrupted breathlessly, a little desperately.

"I won't let that happen. I promise you that there will be time for us..."

"You can't make that promise!" she rasped. "If Kikyou demands your life, you'll go. You know you will. You won't break your word to her so any promises you make to me are empty."

It came out harsher than she'd wanted, but the words were still true. And they still hurt.

"Stop it. Don't... don't be angry..."

"How can I not be angry? You won't face the truth. Tomorrow or the next day or the next... they could be our last days together and then you'll be gone, and you'll abandon me, Yukio and our life to go with her, and all the promises you made me to protect me and Yukio will be nothing."

He tensed and gripped her tightly. "That isn't true."

"What will you do then? What will you do if she demands your life?"

"I will ask for more time. Time at least to raise our pup out of his infancy."

"And if she says no. What then?"

"I... I don't know."

"You don't know. None of us knows."

She lost her battle with her tears and started to cry. Her tears, as always, distressed Inuyasha and he cuddled her, trying to comfort.

"Don't cry, Kagome. Please don't cry."

`How can I not cry? You are my world, Inuyasha; you and Yukio. To lose you to Kikyou now after all we've shared... Please don't ask me not to cry. I'm not that brave.'

"I'm not that brave," was all she said.

"Shhhhh. Please Kagome. Please trust me. I won't break my word."

"But how can you possibly keep it?"

"I don't know, but I'll find a way. I promise you. I will find a way."

She shook her head and gave in to her grief, weeping openly and he gathered her into his arms as he sat up, holding her and rocking her as she cried. She was making him feel helpless and she knew it, but there was nothing she could do. She wouldn't tell him that they had made a mistake in letting their relationship go as far as it did. She wouldn't tell him that she would probably regret her choice for the rest of her life. She wouldn't beg him to forget Kikyou and choose her because she was alive and they had a family. And because she wouldn't do any of those things, and she was unable to voice her sorrow, she could do nothing but cry and feel the helplessness of it all.

Yukio woke and crawled to them, whimpering and broadcasting his distress at his mother's tears. Neither could tell him why Okaa-san was crying, or offer him anything more than a tearful hug. The stress and upset finally got to Inuyasha, and he stood abruptly and left the den. Kagome wrapped her arms around her son and drew him close, sniffling and trying to get herself under control. In the distance she heard the tell-tale crash of a tree falling and knew that her adult hanyou had resorted to his unique form of cutting firewood in order to deal with the emotions raging inside of him.

Left alone in the den, a strange calm settled over her and she stilled.

`So this is how it will be,' she thought, looking around the space she had come to think of as her `home' in the Sengoku Jidai. `This is what it will be like without him here. I wonder how long it will take for his scent to fade.'

"Okaa-a-a-a," Yukio whined, reaching for her face to touch the wetness on her cheeks. :Mother-female hurt.:

She leaned down and kissed his cheek, cuddling him. "It's alright, my baby. Okaa is here and she won't leave you."

He snuffled against her chest, his little hands clutching at her shirt.

"I love you, my baby. I love you, Yukio."

`I don't know what I'm going to do, but I know that no one will ever take you away from me, and I'll do the best I can no matter what happens.'

Hugging Yukio tightly and burying her face in his silver hair, she rocked him and hummed soothingly under her breath, all the while cursing Fate who gave her everything she ever wanted and now threatened to take it all away.