InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Miko Bride ❯ The Miko Bride-A Battle of Wits With an Unarmed Person ( Chapter 5 )

(Cut to the Man in Red, cresting the peak of the mountain. He comes running down the trail, but stops when he hears Kikyo's voice.)

Kikyo: If you wish her dead, then by all means, keep moving.

(Farther down the trail, Kikyo is seated at an impromptu picnic table, holding a knife to a blindfolded Kagome's throat.)

Man in Red: Let me explain…

Kikyo: There's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen.

(The Man in Red steps forward.)

Man in Red: Perhaps we could come to some sort of arrangement.

Kikyo: There will be no arrangement…and you're killing her.

(He jabs her with the knife-not enough to draw blood, but enough to make her shudder in pain.)

Man in Red: Then it would seem we have reached an impasse.

Kikyo: True. I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.

Man in Red: You're that smart?

Kikyo: Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?

Man in Red: Who hasn't?

Kikyo: Morons!

Man in Red: That's the most ridiculous proof I've ever heard. I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but you're unarmed.

Kikyo: You'll pay for that remark!

(She stands, frowns, then sits back down.)

Kikyo: Nice try. But I'm not that stupid.

Man in Red: Fine. We'll have a battle of wits, to the death, for the princess.

Kikyo: You took my lines!

Man in Red: Live with it.

Kikyo: Fine. I accept your challenge.

(The Man in Red sits down in front of her.)

Man in Red: Pour the sake.

(Kikyo produces two goblets and fills them with sake. The Man in Red removes a small packet of white powder from a hidden pocket.)

Man in Red: Inhale this, but do not touch.

Kikyo: (pauses.) I don't smell anything.

Man in Red: What you don't smell is iocaine powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is one of the most deadly poisons known to man.

(The Man in Red takes the goblets and turns his back. Seconds later, he places them on the table, rotates them in a shell game maneuver, and places one in front of each of them.)

Man in Red: Now, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide, and we drink and see who is right…and who is dead.

Kikyo: But it's so simple! All I need to do is divine from what I know of you? Would you put poison in your own glass or your enemy's? Now a clever man would put the poison in his own goblet, for only a great fool would reach for what was given to him. I'm not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you would have known I was not a great fool. You would have counted on it. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Red: Then you've reached a decision?

Kikyo: Not remotely! Iocaine comes from Howler's Peak, as everyone knows. But Howler's Peak is full of criminals, who are used to not being trusted, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

Man in Red: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Kikyo: Wait `til I get going! Where was I?

Man in Red: Howler's Peak.

Kikyo: Right. You must have known that I would know the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Red: You're just stalling now.

Kikyo: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? Now, you've beaten my giant, so you're strong. You could have put the poison in your goblet and trusted your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have studied to defeat my Youkai, and in your studies you would have found that man was mortal, so you would have placed the poison as far from you as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Red: you're trying to trick me into giving something away. It won't work.

Kikyo: It already has! I know exactly where the poison is!

Man in Red: Then choose!

Kikyo: I will! I choose…what in Seven Hells is that!

(The Man in Red whips around to see what she's pointing at, and she switches the glasses. He looks back at her.)

Man in Red: I don't see anything.

Kikyo: Odd, I could have sworn I saw something. Hee, hee, hee.

Man in Red: What's so funny?

Kikyo: I'll tell you later. First, lets drink. Me from my glass, you from yours.

(They both drink. The Man in Red grins.)

Man in Red: You guessed wrong.

Kikyo: Ha! You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses while your back was turned! You've fallen victim to one of the classic blunders! Most famous is `Never get involved in a land war in Asia.' But only slightly less well known is this: `Never go up against a miko when death is on the line!'

(She laughs, chortles, and is an all ways quite cheery until she falls over dead.)

Shippo: Yay!

(The Man in Red steps over her corpse and unties Kagome's blindfold.)

Kagome: Who are you?

Man in Red: No one to be trifled with. That is all you need ever know.

(Kagome looks back at Kikyo's corpse.)

Kagome: And to think, it was your own glass poisoned the whole time!

Man in Red: They were both poisoned. I've spent the last several years developing an immunity to iocaine powder.

(He drags her off.)