InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The More Things Stay The Same ❯ If Only ( Chapter 1 )

Welcome! This is my first fanfiction.net post, but not my first Inu-fic! I integrated a lot of elements from my other stories so this writer suggests that you check out her little previous one-shots, which are very funny and in good taste. (You’ll love em, or your money back.) They can be found on Fanfiction.net, or the homepage in my profile. This is the re-worked version of chapter one, and henceforth, the “final cut”
Blanket Disclaimer, applies to this and all chapters: All the characters belong to manga artist Rumiko Takahashi, I’m just borrowing them to create new and entertaining situations for myself and other fans. It’s also not worth it to sue me… all I own are a Compaq desktop and half of a 93’ GEO.



"Kagome, this shit is stupid."
"Then why did you take it out of my bag to read it?"
"I was looking for food."
".... Still doesn't explain why you're reading it."
"Keh!" The Hanyou tossed the book onto the ground carelessly. "Why do you carry this crap anyway? You can't eat it, it doesn't keep you warm, and it has no function as a weapon. I can't remember how much I've said you should leave shit like that back in your time."
"Maybe I like poetry Inuyasha.... maybe I want to read it to relax and try to think of finer things than sore feet and dirty hair? Ever think of that Inuyasha??"
"It's still stupid as hell... c'mon... 'Reflections of the Lotus'?????" Inuyasha gingerly picked up the discarded volume and cleared his throat;
"Lo there dost the pleasant lingering of her hand beckon me to her side, her embrace, her bed. As the candlelight flickers in midnight, I do claim--"
Kagome yanked the book out of his clawed hands. "Leave my stuff alone!!!"
"Kagome-sama... might I borrow your volume when convenient?"
"Of course you may Miroku... its nice to see that someone has an appreciation of the arts."
"Yes..... The... arts" Shippo sniggered into his shirt. Sango regarded the book in question with a blush to her features as the young miko returned it to the interior of her pack.
Kagome breathed a sigh of relief that she left the issue of Cosmopolitan Japan at home, safely tucked under her bed, where neither Inuyasha nor her mother would see the rather...compromising... article that was sandwiched in between celebrity gossip and clothing trends. Assuming her mother didn't decide to change Kagome's sheets while she was away..... And flip over the mattress for good measure.... shimata.
"So, mister poetry, when do you think we'll be swinging back by the well again?"
Inuyasha stretched his arms over his head and yawned languidly, then leaned against the tree behind him. He glanced at his claws and flexed. "Don't know. Don't care."
"You are so helpful, you know that?"
"Keh.... cold weather rough on you princess? It hasn't even started snowing yet...."
"Oswari."
"EAIGH"
"I've asked you repeatedly not to call me that."
The Hanyou shot her a murderous look from the dirt. "What the hell was that for????"
"Having a big mouth..... And knowing how to read so well."
As soon as the subjugation wore off he dusted himself off and leapt up the tree branches in search of a new perch to await dinner. He growled softly as he settled himself on his new seat.
"I HEARD that!"
She didn't see the smile that escaped from him in the loft of the spruce tree.

"Ugh... I swear it's like traveling with a child."
Shippo looked at Kagome with questioning eyes.
"I mean one that isn't cute as you are Shippo." Shippo beamed up at her and went back to coloring his pictures. He was starting to get a bit old for coloring, but he still enjoyed doing it, changing his masterpieces to pictures of layered landscapes rather than a child’s renderings.

"You are right about one thing Kagome-sama, I do think we need a breather, and sleeping out of doors in impending winter is not something that two ladies, including my betrothed, and a young kitsune should have to abide."
"Houshi-sama... would this have anything to do with the fact that your coin purse has gone empty in this past week?"
"Has it? I hadn't noticed. But apart from that, 'Even the Buddha must rest at the home fire and contemplate'."
"I know you just made that up Houshi-sama. If you aren't careful you'll come back as a squirrel in your next life."
"My dear Sango.... I never.... a squirrel... hmm. At any rate, better a squirrel than.... Kagome-sama what are you making over there anyway?"
"Chicken soup packets and hot chocolate, I think we need it."
"MMMMMM chocolate!!! For dinner!!" Shippo started dancing around the campsite in anticipation.
"Oi! I don't see a chicken down there Kagome!"
"Chocolate for dinner! Chocolate for dinner!"
"It’s a backpack, not a farmers market!" she shouted back. "Procurement of once living food is up to you Pack Leader!"
"Chocolate for dinner! Chocolate for dinner!"
"If you think I'm not doing a good job of looking out for everyone, PLEASE let me know Hime-sama!!"
"Chocolate for dinner! Chocolate for dinner!"
"Come down here and say that you jerk! Or do I have to say the word to get you down?"
"Chocolate for dinner! Chocolate for dinner!"
"You are so hormonal."
"Chocolate for dinner! Chocolate for-"
"OSWARI!"
Inuyasha crashed through two set of boughs and came to a rude landing a few feet away from Kagome. "See?" he managed to get out
"Just because I'm in a bad mood, does not make me hormonal!"
"I didn't come to that conclusion because of your 'mood'." Inuyasha made a pointed sniff.
Miroku interrupted the circular argument. "This is exactly what I am talking about. I have a feeling we should find a place to stop and recuperate tomorrow until we are all in better spirits."
"Agreed Houshi-sama." Sango regarded the pair made up of the miko and Hanyou nervously, each growling at the other.

Early the next morning Kagome faced a dilemma. Leave the warmth of her bedroll, or permit her bladder to explode. She was winning until Shippo squirmed and accidentally kicked her in the stomach. She slowly extracted herself from the cocoon and made her way to the privacy that bushes afforded her, thankful that she had slept in an oversized flannel nightgown.

Inuyasha woke long before, and was finishing his morning rounds. He returned to the edge of the campsite to find Kagome missing from her bed. He followed her scent to the mountain stream a short distance away. The sun was beginning to rise. She studied her hands and bent down to wash them. The water was cold and she started from the shock to her system. Inuyasha waited in the concealment of the forest no more than ten feet away. She brought herself up to her full height and stretched her body. Inuyasha's breath caught in his throat as her long white nightdress fell across the softness of her young adult body, a stark contrast to the black waves of wild mane that dusted her shoulders. He was secretly infatuated with the way she looked in the morning, before she had the chance to tame her hair. Due to the chill in the weather, she hadn't bathed for a few days, her sweeter scents all the stronger for it. He waited where he sat until she made her way back to the encampment. When she had gotten far enough away he let out the breath he was holding unconsciously. His heart pounded heavy in his chest, his blood warmed, pulsed and rushed. He needed a run before breakfast.

Inuyasha’s brain was running a mile a minute with nonsensical and chaotic musings.

“I don't know who she was trying to kid with that 'chicken' soup last night... thank the demi-gods for noodles this morning. Sweet supple noodles. White, tender, soft, delicious noodles. Satisfying noodles. Gratifying noodles. Attractive noo-. Huh? What was I thinking about in the first place?”
His ears twitched.
“Oh yes breakfast.... and those boiled eggs... unspoiled eggs... fertile e-.”
He stopped himself.
“What in the seven hells is that girl doing to me??”
He sighed.
“I miss the uniform.... I don't know what it is about it but its just so... Kagome... and short. It’s definitely short. I don't at all mind the things that tight hakama does for her... but her 'jeans' as she calls it, just aren't the same. Now that sleeping kimono. That was interesting... I wonder what kind of garments she wears underneath it in this weather... probably just panties... haven't seen any of those in a long time now....”
He located her scent and took in a long breath.
“Now I remember why I don't like traveling with bitches.... Why am I calling her a bitch again all of a sudden? She's Kagome... I respect her, she is strong, and... And... Strangely, ah.... and.... dammit...”
He wondered if he could punch himself.
“If that wolf shows up and smells her I am going to have to kill him. Kouga shows his face and he's an ex demon....”
He fell back a few more paces to appreciate her form further.
“In that white thing she looked like an angel... AH!”
Kagome stepped in a hole and lost her balance. Inuyasha scooped her up in a fireman’s carry before she had the chance to fall, and set her down again.
“Ano….. thank you? Inuyasha?”
He grunted in response and watched her walk away from him.
“Oh my... angel... what nice little piece of heaven you have... GAH! Where the hell did that come from??
I am so going to hell... by myself. Fucking doomed.”



Inuyasha settled himself against the wall with his sword over his shoulder as he often did when he slept. Tonight however, sleep was eluding him. The group had traveled through the late autumn day, and found a disused barn for shelter from the storm that began at dark fall. Kagome insisted that they eat some of the canned delicacies she had been carrying and it was good to eat a filling meal as the wind blew against the walls, and rain fell down on the thatches. There was inspection of equipment, and the usual discourse.

Now, the evening was ending, morning on it’s way. Sango went to great pains to overcompensate for her current relationship and assure her bed in the old straw was as far away from Miroku as possible. Kagome and Shippo has spent a good deal of time creating nests in the straw for themselves, and the kitsune child was so proud of his, that he made a small hut with his blanket and insisted sleeping in his own house for the night.
Kagome had gone to sleep in her sleeping bag about four feet away. It was the first time since she had returned from modern Tokyo that she had her bed to herself, and she intended to enjoy it.

The sound and smell of the rain were musical to Inuyasha. He spent much of the night delighting his senses and allowing his mind to wander. He thought of his sword, his mother, the father he didn’t remember, the brother with whom there was no fellowship, and finally his thoughts flitted to the girl from another world that lay near him. “You’d like her, Ofukuro… strong, kind and beautiful like you were.”
Much the way a moth flies around a room and settles himself near a candle, not close enough to burn, but bordering utter disaster. He thought of how they had changed.

It had been about two, close to three years since they had met at Goshinboku. The night Kagome had found herself in the Sengoku Jidai. Oh at first they couldn’t stand one another, Kagome reminded him too much of Kikyo, and not enough at the same time. She just thought he was an ass, in his words. But within the space of a couple of months, they grew closer. Before he had begun to notice, Kagome was at his side. He began to rely on her judgement, her courage, and he began to respect her as more than a silly ningen girl.
She had begun to harness the powers of the priestess’s soul she had inherited. Beginning simply with random subconscious bursts, then graduating to channeling her attacks through sacred arrows. Now, she was well disciplined, her aim was true, and her arrows; powerful missiles of cleansing and protection. At the end of that first summer, they had faced so much. The Tessaiga underwent many changes to adapt, new attacks to devastate new enemies. Inuyasha had become hardened and expert. While they had come close many times, the party had not yet managed to defeat Naraku and the offshoots that sprouted like weeds.
More than a year ago, Sango and Miroku planned a wedding, but called it off after the ceremony was crashed by Hakudoshi. It was decided that no rest could be had. Happiness must be put on hold until the war against Naraku reached its end.
Those months were also a happy time for Inuyasha and Kagome, they spent a good deal of time together, even shared a few careful dates together in her own time. Things went on that way for some months.
Miraculously, Kagome passed her high school entrance exams, and made it into the same decent high school her ninth grade friends did. She found that high school instructors were more understanding of her “history of illness” and felt that as long as she passed the tests and did the assignments, it didn’t matter if she was in class. On the day of her junior high graduation ceremony, Inuyasha promised to be there with her family, and celebrate with them such an important milestone in her life.
However, during the ceremony, Kagome looked everywhere in the crowd, and didn’t see him. When she greeted her mother, brother, and grandfather, he was not with them, and hadn’t been all day. They returned to the Higurashi Shrine for a feast with even her more distant relatives, after a while Hojou, Kagome’s classmate stopped by and dropped off a gift of some energy supplements to help Kagome keep her strength up in high school. After he left Kagome began to worry.
It was very unlike Inuyasha to miss something like this unless something was horribly wrong in the feudal era. Worried for the safety of her comrades, she excused herself from her own party, and collected a small batch of medical supplies, and a sacred yumi she kept in her closet. She creeped out to the old well house, party sounds from the house masking any noise she might have made. She slid the door of the well house closed and hopped into the bone eaters well, finding herself in the bottom of it with nighttime forest sounds above her. She pulled herself out, and ran to Kaede’s hut, not knowing what or who she would find. She arrived out of breath, and flustered to find Kaede, Miroku, Sango, Kirara, and Shippo leisurely eating supper.

“My goodness child! What ever is the matter?”
“Kaede O-Bachan, is anything wrong?”
“Wrong? Not that I know of… Why do you ask? I thought you were at your ceremony this eve?” Kagome bent over to catch her breath.
“Yes…. But... “ She panted
“Inu…. Yasha….didn’t…”
“We thought he was with you? We haven’t seen him since noon” chimed in Miroku.
“I see…. Well, I guess… I’ll go look for him then, he promised he would be there, and something must have happened if he didn’t make it…. maybe he’s found a trail on Naraku and needs my help. Sango, may I borrow Kirara?”
“Of course Kagome-Chan, but how are you going to find him?”
“He has the jewel shard, I’ll just sense my way to him.”
“You gave him the jewel shard Kagome?” Miroku was shocked.
“In case he needed it while I was away today, for safe keeping. Anyway, it was a good thing, because now I will be able to find him if he needs me.” Without another word she trudged outside, and hopped on the back of a transformed Kirara, and took to the skies.
“I must confess I am surprised that she gave him the jewel shard while she is away… considering that when they first met he tried to kill her for the sacred jewel.”

“Why are you surprised my dear Sango? They have grown much, and share a strong bond of trust, not unlike our own, it’s only natural that she should extend that trust in all things, don’t you think?”
“You say that as I think of the young woman you manhandled today.”
“She fell! And I was making sure she didn’t strain anything under that heavy basket! I am a Priest after all!”

Kagome felt the pull of the shikon shard soon after she left the village, Inuyasha wasn’t very far, or at least the shard wasn’t, only about 4 kilometers away. When she was so close she could practically taste the shard, she and Kirara landed, and Kagome asked the cat demon to stay hidden in the thicket while she continued on her own.
She crept forward slowly, carefully so as not to disturb the brush and give her presence away in case there was danger. As she got closer, she began to hear voices, and she pulled herself behind a tree and readied an arrow for battle. Slowly she moved her head and peered out from behind the tree and took in the scene. There was Inuyasha, with his white hair, and red back to her and in front of him was Kikyo. She had her hand on his face, and was smiling.




Kagome sunk to the forest floor, her heart dropped into her knees. She was stunned. Inuyasha didn’t come to her graduation. He went instead to Kikyo. No doubt Inuyasha has seen her shindimachu and followed. After all this time, and after all they had shared. She still didn’t mean as much as Kikyo did. She was available. A copy. A substitute. He still looked at her and saw Kikyo. When he held her hand, he was thinking of Kikyo. When he made her laugh, he was thinking about Kikyo’s laugh. When she wore his gift of the fang ring, he wished Kikyo had one. And when he kissed her, that once, Two days before, he thought of Kikyo. And on an important night of her life he was with Kikyo at last.
As the realization sunk in, she couldn’t hold back the sore tears that welled up inside of her. With racking sobs she stood up and dropped her weapon, her arrows and her pack, and did what she had done long before when she found them together kissing; she ran away.
Inuyasha’s nose and ears and nose trained immediately to Kagome’s hiding place, recognizing the salty smell of her tears. He turned to go to her and suddenly the day and time came to him like a lightning strike. His eyes and nostrils flared as he felt genuine fear creep over him. He charged to Kagome’s post without even reacting to Kikyo, who was for a moment confused as she lost sight of him behind a tree, and then began to sense the jewel shard he carried grow farther from her.
“Oh dear” she sighed. “Looks like he’s done something foolish again.” She alighted onto her soul gathering familiars. “I don’t envy the living.” `



By the time Inuyasha could see Kagome, Kirara was moving away fast, towards the well. Resigned that he couldn’t catch her before she got there, he went back to where she dropped her things, gathered them up and began to follow again.

Kirara landed with a soft thud at the well, and transformed to her cute house cat size after Kagome slid off. “Don’t worry Kirara… I’ll be fine.”
With a purr and a consulate rub on Kagome’s leg, Kirara scampered off for Kaede’s hut again. Kagome’s stomach was in knots as she pushed herself off the ledge and into the well. When she arrived in her own time, she silently entered the temple sanctuary in front of her house and solemnly took out some blank papers, and a calligraphy pen that was kept there. She quickly scratched the same set of symbols on five papers, put everything away and went inside the house. She had been gone for about two hours and the party had calmed down, and everyone had gone home. There was a large pile of gifts and envelopes on the table in the living room but she paid them no mind. She was up the stairs to her room with her head bowed and eyes closed. She took no notice when Souta asked her where she had been. When she went inside her room and slid the door shut, she placed three of the charms on it, and stuck the remaining two on her window. She took off Inuyasha’s fang ring and set it on the windowsill next to her bed, then laid on her side, and stared at it.



Inuyasha knew he had fucked up. He was in huge, enormous, monumental trouble. His plan was to go to her home, return her things, and behave with the best manners possible until he got her to forgive him. He knew she would. She always did. That was just how Kagome was. Kind, and wonderful, and understanding, beautiful, fun, Kagome.

He first went up to her door with her things in his hand, and knocked. No answer. He knocked again. Still no answer. So he knocked louder.
“Who is it?”
“Kagome, I brought your stuff. “
“Please take it back with you. I don’t need it now.”
“Onegai… may I come in? I want to talk.”
“You can’t come in. And I don’t want to talk. There’s nothing to talk about now anyway.”
“Yes… we DO need to talk. Let me explain. I’m coming in even if you don’t give me permission, so you might as well invite me in.”
“No… I didn’t say you ‘may not’ come in, I said you can’t. I put up a barrier. Now leave me alone.”
“A barrier?? Why the fuck do you need a barrier?”
“I am not ready to talk to you yet. It hurts too much. Onegai…..Please go away. I need to think about some things.”
“Gomen na Sai! Onegai….let me in!”
“I said no. Aisou kotogotoka shi”
“Don’t say that….onegai…….. Koneko-chan?”
“Please don’t call me your kitten. Oyasumi na sai, Inuyasha.”

Inuyasha spent a fitful night that full moon. He tried going in through her window, but it burned him. He kept trying... the pain only egging him on, making him believe that because he was experiencing sensation that his efforts would not be in vain. At last he settled on the roof and looked inside, content he could see her. She was oblivious to his presence as she walked to her desk, wrote in a composition book late into the night, then got into her bed with her green dress from graduation still on. He saw the fang ring on the inside of the window, and he felt like someone had pulled a carpet out from under his feet.

Inuyasha did go home. After a few days he found her in his time, sitting against Goshinboku.
He sat against the other side of the sacred tree that brought them together, and waited for her to speak.

“I’ve thought a lot about this…. More than I ever have before.”
Inuyasha’s ears twitched… he was just waiting for his chance to say he was sorry.
“I really think we should put this behind us, and go back to how it was before.”
“I think so too.”
“Well, since you agree, there isn’t a whole lot more to say.”
Inuyasha sighed and looked up at the branches of the tree, contemplating how he should say what he was feeling. Finally he opened his mouth to speak.
“First, you need to know that I wasn’t running out on you to be with her, I had to set her strait about the two of us. I was planning on being there with you, but it took me a longer time to find her than I thought. I’ll never forget all the time we’ve spent together, and I was really happy all those times we could forget about Naraku and just be two people together. I told Kikyo that I didn’t have anything holding me to her. I promised to follow her in death and she sealed me… I was as good as dead. But you woke me up. In more ways than just unsealing me. I had paid my debt to her already and I was free to give my heart to someone else. So I won’t be looking for Kikyo, or following her anymore. So we can go back to how we were before I missed the ceremony.”
Inuyasha was met with silence.
“Kagome?”
More silence.
“Kagome, what’s wrong? Don’t tell me you’re still mad? Kagome?” Inuyasha got up and looked to where she was sitting, but she was already gone.
“Dammit! I finally pour my heart out, and she’s not even here??” He looked again to the place in the grass that still had her body imprint. There was an envelope there. He picked it up and slit it open with a claw. Out fell a long letter written in Kagome’s hand on notebook paper. Thankful again that he was literate, he began.

Inuyasha,
I started this letter for the first time the night of graduation while you were watching me from the window. I’ve written it, read it, re-written it many times now, and I think this time it has everything I want to say. When I saw you and Kikyo together, I realized many things.
I remember, a year or more ago, that when I said I wanted to be by your side, even though you love Kikyo, I never asked, I just assumed it would be all right. I imagine I’ve only complicated an already complicated situation. And for that I am sorry. I hope you will forgive me. I feel I read into the fact that you missed Kikyo too much, and foolishly thought that when you looked at me, you saw Kagome, rather than the Kikyo you missed, and that you cared for me as I came to care for you.
You don’t need to apologize. It’s not uncommon for people that spend a great deal of time together to mistake feelings of friendship and comradery for something more. There is no future for us. Only mine, and yours, and once we have repaired the damage I have caused in your world, we will have to go our own ways. I will be spending as much time as I can now on my studies, but I will still travel with you, Shippo, Miroku and Sango.
There is no room for me in your heart. You and Kikyo are the star-crossed lovers meant to triumph over all adversities in the story of your life. And I am after all just a minor player.
So while I put up a barrier to keep you out of my room the other night, I will have to put one around my heart as well.
I will be ready this evening to come back to Sengoku Jidai, and I think it would be best if we try to forget all that we have shared these past few months and go back to being friends. After this, let’s never talk about it again. Please.
Sayonara,
Higurashi Kagome.

Inuyasha’s heart was in pain. The letter smelled strongly of dried tears and Kagome’s room. He methodically folded the letter and placed it inside a concealed pocket in his hakama.



That had been almost two years ago. Somewhere along the way the pair worked out some kind of uncomfortable working relationship. Consisting mostly of bickering, teasing and any kind of attention Inuyasha could elicit without arising suspicion. He still cared for her, no letter could change that. He would rather cut off his sword hand than truly upset her in any way ever again, so he simply withdrew.

He studied her sleeping face. She had grown lovelier these past years, if possible. She looked more like Kikyo now than she ever had before, now that they had the appearance of being about the same age. Kagome’s hair was just a bit more unruly, and her outgoing personality made her more appealing.


He silently crept closer, so that he was above her. She writhed in her sleeping bag. She was having an unusually fitful sleep.
“Inu….Yasha….”
Inuyasha started. Is she….. dreaming about me?
“ I………. you...” Kagome rolled onto her stomach and moaned softly.
At this proximity, he could detect a change in her scent, one with which he was not at all familiar. His face and blood went hot. He instinctively began to growl. He was beginning to lose his mind almost as he did years before when his demon blood defeated his humanity.
He backed away for fear of hurting her, but not in time to keep from waking her. When Kagome roused he was huddled against the wall with his head in his hands.
“Inuyasha? Are you okay?”
“No…. yes…. I’m fine, go back to sleep.
She pulled herself out of her sleeping bag with a puzzled look, and went outside, into the rain, presumably, to answer nature’s call. Sitting in a fetal position, he started to slow his pounding heart a bit, and then got up to pace the floor. The rain had stopped falling hard, but it was still drizzling, and Kagome came back shivering in a damp nightdress. It was the one that occupied Inuyasha’s thoughts much of the day, and he could do nothing but stare at how it clung to her form.
“Inuyasha, do I have something on my face?”
“No, of course not.”
Kagome blushed when she beheld his smoldering expression. He looked angry, and she wondered if he had some way of knowing what she was dreaming about a few minutes before. She was ashamed. They had both agreed to put the past behind them, but Inuyasha was still very dear to her, and the more she told herself it was not to be, the more she wanted him to hold her again, to be alone together and enjoy the company like they used to.
Inuyasha came over to her, and took off his haori, and placed it over her shoulders. The heat coming off of it was intense. She placed her palm on his forehead; he was sweating and burning up.
“Inuyasha, are you sick?”
“I think I might be.”
“How do you feel?”

An image of her without clothes flashed across his mind and he stumbled, but she placed herself under him to takes his weight on her own shoulders. He regained control for a moment and took her in his arms.
“Very strange” he said as he smashed a crushing kiss on her lips.


At least that’s how Inuyasha liked to remember it. In actuality, he tried not to think about anything as he huddled into a ball of repressed pain after he lamely answered ‘how do you feel’ with “Shut up!”




Later in the morning, before anyone else woke up, he awakened a drowsy Shippo, to tell him that he had to go somewhere, to please take care of the others, and he’d catch up later.



*.Aisou kotogotoka shi – Harsh words meant to drive someone away, similar to: “Get the hell out of here”

*Koneko-chan- term of endearment, Means kitten/kitty

*Gomen na Sai- I’m very sorry

* Oyasumi na sai- Good Night (polite form)

* Onegai - Please