InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Nature of Change ❯ Tuesday (Day) ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

When Kagome opened her eyes, she had to be sure she wasn’t still dreaming. It didn't seem like she was, but she couldn't tell the difference because it all was so strange. So for good measure, she closed her eyes again for another twenty minutes.

No… No, she still felt the same, even after the twenty minutes of non-sleeping sleep later. Cracking her eyelids apart slightly in the darkness of the room, she relented to the fact she was actually awake and had been for the entire time.

She felt it was odd, that she should feel so placid on this particular morning. She felt… well, nothing. No panic, no sadness, nothing…

Except for the familiar yawning emptiness that had settled into her chest years prior, a regular sentiment she had learned to eventually ignore and pretend did not exist and yet…

Yet, even that didn’t seem quite as big as it once was.

Lifting a hand to her forehead, Kagome checked her temperature. As it stood, she felt normal. Too normal. And to top it off, she in didn’t have a fever anyway.

Narrowing her eyes suspiciously at the ceiling, she glared at the textured patterns she had familiarized over the years of sleepless nights. That too, was the same. It was enough to convince her that while she had been sleeping she had not in fact been transported to an alternate reality via alien abduction or witchcraft or some really weird level of stress-induced insanity.

Though her last option seemed highly plausible, it was in fact doubtful.

Hell, she even felt kind of… happy.

Dear Kami, not happy! Happiness is something I could get used to! Kagome rolled her eyes at her own antics, berating herself sarcastically for being freaked out over the fact she didn’t feel… well, freaked out.

Why wouldn't she be freaking out?

She had a ‘date’ with Sesshomaru/Yamamoto Daichi/University of Tokyo, Professor of Dry Humor/Novelist; whatever his current persona was that he had adopted, he had blended it well into his personality… Or it was his personality at that moment in time.

She was undecided.

Regardless, Kagome had been trying to unravel the enigma Sesshomaru had become for days, and it just was not working. Huffing to herself quietly, she threw her hand down on to the bed defiantly and decided that it was entirely too much thinking to be had before dawn. Closing her eyes resolutely, she decided for once she could skip her classes. She was too baffled to even consider facing the day.

Being normal was by far the most abnormal thing she had had to deal with in a number of years, and the thought of that unnerved her more than she liked to admit to even herself.

Apparently I’m too used to being miserable… Kagome drew her comforter around herself closer at the thought, beginning to wonder just how much time she had wasted hating herself and hating her life. She stopped herself before taking the exploration too far, knowing if she did she’d manage to successfully ruin her previously ‘normal’ mood with being upset.

Then the entire question of why she even felt the way she did would become obsolete, because she had just pushed herself back into the very state she had manage to somehow come out of.

The entire concept of such a cycle gave her a headache.

Annnd this is why I am not taking a psychology major…

Still, Kagome had to admit she learned something new…

Apparently, one’s life may simply change by waking up and deciding that waking up for once wasn’t so bad after all.

And she didn’t want to change how she felt when she woke up, for once.

Instead, she decided to go back to sleep and hope that she still felt the same when she woke up later.



 



 

̶ 0;Oh my God, Eri, get off of it… No. No! Daichi isn’t a creeper, would you stop…? No I didn’t decide to take the day off from school so I can get dolled up, I just wasn’t feeling well… Oh my G- damnit Eri, no I’m not lying! Argh!” Kagome slammed her mug of coffee down, managing to finally accept the fact that she did feel different that she normally did.

Hell, she was even feeling chipper.

So in light of feeling different for once, she tried to make something different for once…

Instead of plain old boring coffee, she spiced things up.

With hazelnut… by the sweet heavens, it had been so delicious. She had been sitting innocently at her kitchen table, relishing in the amazing aroma of different. It had been glorious, phenomenal, outstanding… Any adjective she could possibly use to describe such a thing as hazelnut coffee after sleeping in until eleven a.m. on a Tuesday morning was used and it was fucking divine.

Then her cell phone had started going off oh-so-innocently and she had excitedly rushed to it; then she decided to play off her excitement by coyly picking it up off her nightstand because she really wasn’t as excited as she was really feeling, really…

She had been expecting it to be a phone call from Sesshomaru to confirm their ‘date’ plans, whatever they may be, for he had kept her in the dark thus far. Hell, she hadn’t even known what to wear, and the thought of having to pick out an outfit was more than she was ready for! Her wardrobe mainly consisted of comfy casual with a side of comfy casual, so she was woefully lacking in the department of sexy by the furthest reaches of imagination. She might even have had to put off furniture shopping for the sake of clothes shopping and Kami knew how long it had been since she had bought herself new clothes.

Heaven forbid.

Alas, there was no way to describe her disappointment when it turned out to be Eri calling up on her, to see where she was. She had heard from a mutual acquaintance Kagome had never shown up to her morning classes, so Eri had called her with justified suspicions on why she had skipped.

But Kagome wasn’t about to admit that Eri had some good reasons on why to be suspicious, even if they were accurate…

Only partially.

Instead she flustered about with half-assed lies and objections which Eri carelessly blew through with the practiced eased of a long-term friend.

“Eri, please stop calling Daichi a creeper… He’s not even, I don’t know, seven years older than me…,” Kagome worried her lip with her teeth, knowing that that was a huge stretch by far, yet she couldn’t manage to say the actual age difference without looking like a good candidate for a nuthouse. Eri was always good at sniffing out Kagome’s lies, but Kagome wouldn’t allow Eri to pull the truth out of her on this matter.

Now’s a good time to practice the good old foot-in-mouth method I keep fucking up.

“I don’t remember exactly, and if we weren’t the same age I wouldn’t remember how old you are either! Hell, I can’t even remember how old Souta is, so get off it will you…? I’m sorry I’m so heartless, numbers just happen to elude me with their presence, so can we change the subject…? I don’t know where he’s taking me… Unn, I don’t know how long… No, that does not prove he’s a creeper! Look, Eri, I’ve got to go, I’ve got errands to run…” Kagome refrained from pounding her head against the counter top as her friend continued to prattle in her ear, though she was sorely tempted to.

“NO! I am not going to go clothes shopping! I need groceries!” Kagome shifted her weight onto one foot, drumming her dulled fingernails against the pho-marble beneath them. The sight caught her eye as she lifted her hand to inspect the state of said nails and made a face, determining she needed to paint them for the first time in only Gods knew how long.

“I’m going shopping for groceries now Eri, have a good day. Bye,” Kagome snipped as she snapped her phone shut, ignoring the fact Eri was still continuing on her semi-over-protective-friend-rampage. Shaking her head irritably, her good mood in near shambles, Kagome decided she needed to take a good long shower to soothe her nerves and proceed to go out.

For new clothes disguised as a trip to the grocery store.

Clapping her hands happily, her excitement thoroughly restored at the thought of purchasing a new dress, Kagome pranced her way to the shower.





 

Failurrre eee…. Kagome bemoaned herself, slamming the door shut behind her as she threw her keys dismally down in whatever direction they happened to land on her carpet, beckoning to be eaten by the black vortex of doom that existed in some random corner of her apartment she had yet to find.

In her ultimate and top secret mission to discover something worth treasuring and something that would undeniably flatter her wonderfully curvaceous figure, she had found a whole lot of squat.

Apparently not knowing your actual wardrobe size made it a bit harder to obtain correctly fitting clothing than she knew, and she had admitted defeat after trying on her twentieth dress with no success.

Not only that, she didn’t even know how to dress for an occasion she didn’t know was taking place, if at all. Sesshomaru had yet to contact her, and it was already four in the afternoon. The thought had her feeling dismal at best, her previously wonderful mood from that morning thoroughly smashed against the rocks at the bottom of her self-esteem cliff.

If one was to allow practical sense to occur, Kagome would just make the call herself. But she did not believe it to be common practice in the dating world for the woman to be the one to make the first overture. Then again, that was simply what Kagome assumed. Seeing as she had not dated since her Sophomore year of being an undergraduate student, Kagome was considerably out of practice.

Growling under her breath, a habit she had acquired from Inuyasha and had never quite rid herself of, she stomped her way to her bedroom with determination not to give up. Ripping open her closet doors, she began tearing pieces of her clothes out of inside of their sanctuary. Those things she never thought would see the light of day again had found their way into the darkest depths of her closet; and they had not emerged since her latest days of high school and earliest days of college.

Girly, feminine, and pastel loaded shirts and skirts began to overflow on her full-sized bed. She almost wanted to cringe, having adopted the careless tom-boy look long ago; the rose pink and baby blue colors were in abundance and offended her more emasculated senses. But desperation had won out, and there she was going through a wardrobe that she had long ago discarded as useless.

Right about the time she had decided she wanted to let go of Inuyasha and stop mourning his loss.

Lot good that decision did me...

She tilted her head to the side and imagined herself as the way she was. A soft, caring, self-careless girl. Self-sacrificing, noble, honorable and broken.

Kagome found herself staring at her clothes longer than she had intended. She had just figured she'd find something acceptable and toss all those piles of clothes back into the darkest corner of her closet to never be unearthed again like they should be.

Like I had deemed of my memories.

The thought unnerved her quite a bit. Had she ignored her own past so much? Had she thought it so useless, so bad that she would have ignored everything that made her who she was that very day?

Did I try to forget Inuyasha that hard, and ultimately failed miserably anyway?

The honest admission didn't sting as much as she thought it might. Still, she was left with piles of reminders and no idea what to do with them.

So, she took two steps back and headed out into her kitchen. Standing in on the edge of her kitchen and bare living room, she felt torn inbetween the past and the present, and left wondering how she should move onto the future. Frowning, the thought of the future left an aching feeling in her chest.

I want a future. Not just a future based on the shadows of my past.

Some part of Kagome clicked in recognition. It was a tingle that went from her head to her toes, as if her planets had aligned themselves correctly. She narrowed her eyes in ordination, her bare feet padding on the tile floor of her kitchen silently with a forceful promise to herself.

I will never allow the past to decide my future again. Sesshomaru obviously didn't let that happen.

Though the comparison came out of nowhere, she didn't let the notion stop her. She proceeded to rip open the cabinet doors beneath her sink and rifled through the many chemicals that were dusty, with barely an inch of liquid left that had been forgotten about once she bought a new cleaner.

I should probably just use those... Sweatdropping to herself, she shook off her distracted thought and continued to search for what she had been intending to find to begin with.

The rolled up plastic defenders of her future were buried in the very far back of her cabinet, causing her to thrust the upper half of her body into the cave that was the storage facility for her saviors.

Trash bags, come to meeee...

She winced at the smell of chemical cleaner and lemon, as well as the tiny little roaches that littered themselves on the floor of her cabinet. Sighing deeply, she realized more than just her life needed a thorough cleaning. Quickly grasping her trash bags, she hauled them out of the cabinet and into the fresh air of her kitchen as she hacked a bit, trying to expel the smell of cleaner from her nostrils.

With renewed conviction, she stormed back to her room and ripped off a new trash bag and opened it as quickly as possible. With the efficiency of someone possessed with a goal or ideal, she began heaping loads of her old clothes into one trash bag after another with a zest she had not felt in a long, long time.

Before she had known it, more than half the clothes in her closet were gone and three trash bags were full. Wiping the sweat from her brow after her excursion, she grabbed the three overstuffed bags and dragged them through her small hallway and near the front door to deposit them. She had figured she would just donate her ancient clothes, but she still wanted them away from her own room as far as possible in her tiny apartment. Huffing a bit, she blew her sweaty bangs from her eyes as she glanced at the clock mounted on her kitchen wall.

5:15....

Frowning in frustration, she found she still didn't have anything to wear. Turning aboutface, Kagome dragged herself hopelessly back into her room. She felt emotionally drained, but strangely satisfied.

Glancing at her meekly filled closet, Kagome shook her head. The only thing she could do was be herself as she had chosen to do originally when she had relieved herself of her old clothes. She pulled out a threading jean skirt and a white wife-beater and proceeded to dress herself.

If Sesshomaru wants to take me someplace, he'll merely have to do with me as I am.

The small sentiment felt like a rocket of epiphany had gone off in her head. If Kagome had ever had a bigger 'duh' moment in her life, she didn't know. She did seriously want to face-palm her own foolishness, though. It all made a blaring, neon-light obvious kind of sense then. And she figured, if she was going to be herself, she was going to act like herself.

Marching straight to her phone, she picked it up and promptly dialed Sesshomaru's number, which she had by then memorized by heart after so many days of dialing it frequently. Taking a deep breath, she allowed her eyes to slip close as she bit her bottom lip in anticipation. She didn't even realize she was holding her breath as she counted the rings until it would lead to his voicemail.

On the sixth ring, she nearly lost hope he would answer at all. Feeling deflated, she was pleasantly surprised when she heard his smooth and deep voice at the other end of the line. It was soothing to hear. It made a feeling like static electricity race from her toes up her spine, and strangely, it nearly made her gasp.

Instead of gasping, she merely just smiled at the sound of his voice.

“Yamamoto Daichi speaking.”

Her answer came out as a breathy whisper, “Sesshomaru.”

She could almost feel his dry grin on the other end of the line as he acknowledged her, “Kagome.”

“And you didn't realize it was me by caller ID?” she teased him gently. She listened reverently to his soft chuckle, “I hardly remember to check it when I'm busy grading papers. I automatically assume it's usually about business or a member of faculty.”

Kagome snorted, “Well, I'm definitely not calling about business.”

Sesshomaru sounded curious and amused, “Oh? I thought meetings between two people were generally business.” Kagome felt slightly offended at his insinuation that their 'date' was nothing more than a business meeting and she felt herself stomp her foot childishly before she could stop it, “A meeting between two old friends is hardly about business.”

She could almost hear the inflection in his voice as he responded to her, “Friends, hn? You are correct. I've been working too hard today, it appears.”

Kagome couldn't help the scolding tone that appeared as she complained about his lack of calling, nor the feeling of hurt that rose up in her chest at his lack of contact, “Is that why you haven't called me today? I was waiting for you to confirm our date.”

She heard the sharp intake of breath at the word 'date', and momentary silence met her statement. Kagome slapped her hand over her lips, mentally cursing her own runaway mouthiness.

Where the hell is my filter?!

“Well, I'm sorry for making you wait for confirmation on our date, Kagome. That was inconsiderate of me. I just recently finished my last class, and I needed to get caught up on grading my student's essays before I picked you up. I just assumed you knew I was a man of my word,” he joked with her easily, and Kagome felt a large release of breath as the tension in her shoulders melted away instantly.

“I do know that, Sesshomaru,” Kagome began to twirl her fingers in her hair, the gentle smile she had previously returning to her face.

“Okay, Kagome. Seven p.m. I'll see you then.”

“Yes, but where are we going?” Kagome couldn't contain her curiosity.

Sesshomaru chortled, “That, Kagome, is a very drastic secret I cannot share with you.” She would have whined but her gave her a short and sweet goodbye before she could say another comment and hung up. Sighing deeply at the phone, Kagome placed it gently on the bed and turned to look at her vanity mirror.

Frowning deeply, she knew she looked decent but far too casual for a first date. Approaching the mirror, she reminded herself she would be nothing more than just herself. Reaching for black eyeliner, she did decide she could spruce herself up just a little bit. Grinning, she began outlining her lower lids as she mentally hummed to herself.

A date it is then... huh.

The thought left a warm, fuzzy feeling inside her chest, though it baffled her why. Instead, she just continued putting on light make-up to occupy herself until the time Sesshomaru came to get her.