InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Night Is Back... ❯ The Night is Back... ( Chapter 1 )

She misses him. She misses the way he was always timid, seeming to hold himself away from things as if to avoid being hurt. She misses the way his smile looks on warm summer evenings when they lounge together in front of their home, discussing everything and nothing at all; the misses his sweet freckled face, his innocent eyes.

Not so innocent anymore.

He is back, but never the same. He left her a boy; he has returned to her a man. It's only been two years, she reasons, but her feelings have only intensified since that night. All her life, she's adored him, longed to have him in her arms as more than a sibling, an ane-ue to whom he can turn to wipe away his tears and tell him it'll be alright. She wants more than that. She always has. She wants to kiss away his tears and savor the salty pain that lingers, to somehow dissolve all the hurt he's absorbed in those long hours and take them on as her own. She wants him to be happy.

She sighs, remembering the pain she herself felt as he frolicked about with one of the other villagers' daughters, remembering his first crush, not with her, never with her. She is weak. He is her sin, her addiction, her corruption…

She remembers how she felt his fear that first night, and how she longed to hold his hand. They should never have forced him to do those things. It isn't in his nature to be cruel…it hurts to see him under the control of their greatest enemy, as she herself is a slave to her passions. It hurts to know that for years, he knew nothing of her, only that she hated him.

She has never hated him.

Tonight, it is especially bad. As the storm rages outside the panes of her window, so does it rage within her heart and soul. This little gale of hers…he is both her savior and her damnation. In him, she sees herself, and the part that has been missing… She looks at the houshi with empty eyes, seeing his features in the handsome face. Charming smile becomes full, sensitive lips, much too sensitive for a boy's mouth…eyes swirl and change from cornflower to fawn. She needs him.

Footsteps outside her door…uncertain, frightened. They stop at the side of her bed. She remains completely still. No, not now, not now…she is too unsure. She doesn't think she'd be able to stop herself now…

If the night is bad for her, though, it must be worse for him.

"Ane-ue…I'm scared…" The voice sounds so foreign, so small and sad, just as he used to be. She looks into his eyes and sees his own fears and insecurities, and she longs once again just to hold him. Silently, she moves the thin blankets aside and allows him to slide in beside her. Arms wrap protectively around his fragile form, holding him close to her. In him, she is safe. Her eyes close against her will. She wants to stay awake, to take in his cherubic visage, so tranquil and trusting in the night, in the dark.

With her. She lies still for a while until she is certain he is asleep, then lets out a deep sigh and prepares herself for rest as well. Lost in her own thoughts, she does not hear the soft, quivering breaths, does not feel them upon her skin as another pair of lips presses uncertainly to her own. She opens her eyes; is she dreaming? No, not dreaming. She is dying…

They remain like that for some time, how long she doesn't quite know. Finally, she allows him to slip gently within her, feeling in that moment as if their souls have touched. She holds perfectly still, neither of them moving as she takes his delicate being and keeps him locked inside, sheltering him, with all his human frailties and fears, inside herself. He is broken, flawed, and she loves him for it. He understands her.

She is strong. He cries out; she holds him, whispering to him that it'll be all right, as she should have done so long ago.

In the morning, she will wed another. They will part ways, but never really be separated. In time, he will take a wife, have a family of his own, and she will be forced to watch as a part of her dies for him to live again.

But the night is back, and if she can have him for that long, she would die a thousand times over, go to hell and back for him, just for one moment of this…

And finally, as dawn blankets the sky, they sleep.