InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Pages of My Life ❯ Transitional Thoughts ( Chapter 10 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N: Short Update, bad Laurell-chan I know, but the last couple of chapters were a bit intense, so I just wanted some calm perspectives, so you can sort of see where each of them are standing now. Longer chapters to come, this is kind of like a transitional one. Thank you so much to crystalclearnangel again, you've reviewed almost every chapter and it's just amazing! Thanks for the support. And thank you BlackLotus for the longer review! I love hearing what you guys are thinking so I loooove long reviews hehe! I'm so flattered you like my style and I hope I didn't drive you too nuts with my cliffy hehe. And we shall only see where the story goes from here, but Kagome and Inu are just getting started, I will tell you that! I'll try and get quicker updates out for ya ;]. Other than that THANK YOU to all my readers and reviews alike, and if you've got the time, I would LOVE to hear what you think! Ja ne!

Laurell ~

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I cringed wrapping my robe tighter around me and tying the bow with a quick jerk of my hands. I felt awful, my skin was like something foreign having my dried sweat sticking to it still from the hospital, not to mention how gritty it felt all over. I tried rubbing my hands through my hair only to find it oily and sighed somewhat disgustingly. I would have killed for a shower but I was worried the heat would make me too dizzy; compromising with the part of my mind that was still being nice to me, I started the water for a bath. I peeked into the hallway, after finding it empty I headed into the kitchen pouring a full glass of baileys over some ice and walked back towards my room. Hearing someone messing with the lock I quickened my pace and had my bedroom door shut again before they could ask what happened and fake some concern. I didn't need it, and certainly wasn't feeling up to it.

As promised the hospital let me out the day following the incident with Kouga, and I had left as soon as possible despite warnings I should call someone to drive me home. I don't need anyone worrying of cooing over me, and besides there really wasn't anyone I could call. So as always I did it myself, grabbing a handful of prescriptions and getting the hell out of there.

A scary car ride later I walked into the apartment greeted by a stack of dishes and the smell coming from them and collapsed on my bed. I didn't even remember opening the lock to my door I just woke up to find my depressing little window dark, a bit disorienting to say the least. So I shrugged out of my clothes pulling on an old robe and grabbed my smokes.

The menthol tingled my throat a little because it had been a couple of days, I smiled at that. Resting against the concrete breezeway floor and staring out at a deserted volleyball court, I absentmindedly toyed with the cigarette between my slender fingers. A couple of other students passed me but didn't say anything, also fine by me. The smoke pounded inside my head with each inhale but I didn't care and finished it all the same. It was chilly but I stayed outside a while longer. Inside, outside, here, home it didn't seem to matter anymore, either way this fog had needled its way inside me and everything faded around it. It occurred to me loosely that I hadn't always felt this way; I didn't think so at least. I remembered being happy, or something like it, like the way you think you remember pain, but you really don't at all.

Wandering back inside I made it to my bedroom uninterrupted. My fingers trailed under the hot water spewing out of the faucet, I tugged it down after the tub was close to half full and lit a candle just for the effect. I never understood people who could read while taking a bath, I had tried but no matter what I did I never had found a comfortable position and panicked myself at even the possibility of dropping the book. I wasn't reading anything for pleasure right now anyway, so I flicked the button on my stereo pleasantly surprised recognizing the intro from MSI's `Tight'. My breath came to me as it had been lately, through another sigh, then I settled into the warm water.

“At least this can still feel good,” I smiled leaning my head back drenching my hair in it. I smiled all day but when I was alone they were beyond rare. Staring up at the ceiling my hair raising up to float around me I leaned one dripping hand out the side fingers searching for the cool touch of a glass. Locating it I raised the lip to my own letting the initial shock of the icy liquid adjust to the burning after effect of the alcohol in the back of my throat. Swallowing generously I rested it on the edge and sunk down water rushing in to cover my face, eagerly sucking me down into it.

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My elbows resting against the smooth tile of my window sill as I stared out into the small visible part of the sky. A handful of starts dotted it, most were blinded into submission by the roaring lights of this city unfortunately. But I had tried the country life and knew it never would have been permanent, then again I had led more lives in the past 15 years than most could hope for in hundred. Wording it like that made it sound like a good thing, it wasn't.

Shaking myself out of the daze I went back to cleaning up, the apartment was still empty but the few boxes I had I went ahead and unpacked finally. The one bedroom was pretty comfy despite the hollowness of the living room currently. I was eager for my paycheck already, I had enough in savings to buy a couple more items, and specifically a TV was going to be nice to have. But I knew enough to wait until I had rent for the next month. It was still too early to go to bed but there wasn't a lot of entertainment here for the most part. Glancing around I decided to change into some running shorts and grab my sneakers, an amazing lake surrounded by a park was just around the corner. The apartments I lived in were actually named after it, and I had wanted to run it since last week when I first drove into this city.

The air was electric from the dusk transitional period and swirled around me catching leafs in little tornado's as I jogged past. Beams of light streaked crossed my path from the street lights hovering above, a handful of clubs and cafe's were still causing noise on the opposite side of the street. I earned a couple questioning glances from people dressed up pretentiously lounging on patios. But after getting past that area everything got quiet, the lake sparkling occasionally in my peripheral vision before disappearing behind me.

A huge dance studio and a stoplight were now the only things resting across the street as I began to round the corner of the lake which was larger than I expected. My breath came out in billows but I wasn't feeling winded at all yet. My feet moved on their own now as my mind was paces ahead, my thoughts firing rapidly while I lulled the beat of an Air song called; fittingly, `Run'. A calmness that only came with solitude for me settled over and I attempted to organize the chaotic mess I called my head. I looked around and realized it had descended into night but somehow things didn't really look black. They look faded, when did everything black fade into gray? I wonder this while rounding the other edge.

Holy girl
Don't get up
For running

Stay with me
I feel sad

When you run

Midway through my second lap her face flashes before my eyes while they're closed. It's only for a second but it was there; then it hits me. I will have no reason and no excuse for either of us, but I have to see her again. Kagome...

Don't wake up
I feel strange
When you go

Stop the night
Hold me tight
Holy girl... ~

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Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, Air or any of their songs (I wish), or MSI (Mindless Self Indulgence). But I do highly recommend them all! And I absolutely suggest you listen to the song "Run" while reading this, it's a great song and what I wrote this to!