InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Pain of Losing Another ❯ Chapter Ten ( Chapter 10 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: ShadyMinion 
Meeting Sesshoumaru as a sad man. WARNING: Graphic. Use of Alcohol.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 05.25.2006 | Updated On: 05.25.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.3K | Visits: 466 | Status: Work In Progress
Meeting Sesshoumaru as a sad man. WARNING: Graphic. Use of Alcohol.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 05.25.2006 | Updated On: 05.25.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.3K | Visits: 466 | Status: Work In Progress
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Chapter Ten: Four Years Into the Past Part Three
Shippou was aghast.
It had been sometime since he had last heard from his okaa-san, and when he had heard from her, she didn’t sound normal. She was usually more perky and gleeful, but in their last phone call, his okaa-san’s cheerfulness sounded strained, forced.
At the time, he had been busy with his own company, and chalked up her strangeness to her being tired. He would be tired too if he had to live with Mr. Hardass Snowman like she did. Guilt-tripping now, he decided to pay her a surprise visit to make up for the time they had been out of contact. He couldn’t wait to see her and her expression at seeing him so suddenly.
No one had answered the front door, so he walked toward the back door. He knew that his okaa-san usually had the back door open, as it was near the kitchen and she liked to have the sunlight streaming in. He was a little startled to find the back of the house dark as all else, but the kitchen door was unlocked, so he let himself in.
He fumbled through the house a moment, searching for the light switch. Finding it, he flicked it on and blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted. Once his eyes regained focus, he all but screamed.
Kagome lay on the floor in pool of her own dried blood, dead to the world.
Hurriedly, he bent over her, seeking signs of life. Finding a faint pulse, he gave a sigh of relief before checking the extent of her injuries. She was covered in cuts and bruises. One arm looked to be dislocated. Her breathing was shaky and uneven, each breath a struggle. He feared that she had a broken rib or two. She was drenched in her own blood, now sticky and dry. What kind of monster would do this to her?
He looked about the kitchen. Her blood was spattered across the floor, countertops, table, walls, even the damned ceiling. His blood boiled at the sight. If he ever caught the bastard who did this to her, he would rip out his intestines and strangle him with it. Shippou ran to the sink, collecting a washcloth and a bowl of warm water. He moistened the cloth, and gently cleaned Kagome of the blood. He knew that it would cause her even more pain if he tried to move her while she was encrusted in her own dried blood.
“Okaa-san? Okaa-san? Can you hear me? Are you ok? Kagome?!” He called out to her while tending to her, his voice rising in pitch as the panic grew within him. She lay on the cold tile floor, eyes staring out unresponsively, lifelessly.
He winced as he cleaned out a particularly deep cut. He peered at it. She was lucky that though the cut was deep, it had not severed any tendons or deep muscle. For the most part, most of her wounds looked to be only flesh wounds which would heal, but scar. Her dislocated shoulder could be reset. Hopefully, her broken ribs had not caused too much internal damage. She would be fine, physically, but mentally, he feared the worst. She looked totally broken.
He cursed Sesshoumaru. Where was that damned man when she needed him? Didn’t he know that Kagome was hurt? She looked to have been there for hours! Shippou studied the room. He took that back, she had been there for a day or two at least…in that time, Sesshoumaru would have been blind to have not noticed…but that would mean…
He grit his teeth, lips pulling back in a scowl. He threw the towel angrily against a wall. DAMN THAT BASTARD! HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO HER?!!
Kagome seemed to react to his anger. Her head swiveled slightly, the slowness of her movements revealing the amount of pain she was in. “Shippou-chan?” She asked absently.
Shippou was at her side in an instant. “Okaa-san? Okaa-san? Are you ok?” He clasped her hands in his.
She flinched momentarily. “Yes, I’m fine. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?” She asked shakily, her voice trembling.
Emerald eyes widened. Rage bubbled within him. Kami, was she afraid of him? He silently cursed Sesshoumaru to Hell in all the agonizing ways possible. “Don’t think of work now, okaa-san! What happened to you?” He asked, trying to restrain his anger so as to not scare her.
“Nothing I didn’t deserve. You should leave, Shippou-chan. He’ll be very angry if I’m here.” She murmured, her eyelids drooping. Lack of nutrition and blood had severely weakened her, but Shippou was just happy she was still alive. By all rights, she should have been dead from her injuries and neglect.
“Okaa-san, you’re not making any sense.” He picked up the thrown cloth, gingerly wiping at her wounds.
“Very mad. I have to go. I need to…” She drifted off, eyes closing.
“Okaa-san?!” Shippou shrieked in blind panic.
Her eyes fluttered open, terrible, dull, grey eyes. They stared out hollowly. “Oh, mustn’t forget. I have something to do…then I have to go…”
“Go where Okaa-san?”
“Leave…he wants me gone….I need to…” Her voice faded to inaudible whispers. Shippou bent down to hear, his ear millimeters from her moving lips. His expression darkened at what he heard.
The bastard had beaten her because he thought she had betrayed him?! The fool. Kagome was the purest soul ever to walk the earth! And he wanted her gone?! Very well, he would see to it that Sesshoumaru would never be able to lay a hand on Kagome ever again!
“Okaa-san?” He knelt so that he was eyelevel with her. He spoke in soft, reassuring tones. “I’ll help you. I’ll do it for you. Just tell me what to do.”
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Two months had passed since he had last seen Kagome. Two months since he had left the woman, injured, bleeding on the kitchen floor. He had since then drowned himself in women and alcohol. Neither satiated him. Instead, they left him feeling ill. A terrible feeling had been growing in the pit of his stomach. It had intensified into an agony so strong, he felt as if it would have torn him apart. Life simply no longer seemed to be worth living.
Sesshoumaru sat, slouched in a chair. He idly twirled a delicate glass of wine between his fingers, before setting it aside in search of a stronger beverage. He had lost weight. His appearance had become almost gaunt, his eyes a bit more dull than their normal piercing gold. He no longer carried himself as strongly or as confidently as he had before. His whole appearance had a weary and worn look. He was utterly miserable.
Only two months without Kagome, and he was already contemplating leaving everything behind. Nothing seemed worth the effort. He no longer cared. His empire was in order, his fortune secure. There was nothing for him.
He had spent the past two months renting out the most expensive penthouses in all of Tokyo. He had done everything possible to try to rid his thoughts of the woman who had betrayed him, but her hurt, broken image would not leave him. It seemed branded into his mind, never fading. It would replay in his mind, over and over. He could see her body fall, collide into the side of the counter. There was a glint of metal he had not noticed at the time, but now he realized that she had repeatedly landed on a kitchen knife.
Kagome had always kept the kitchen impeccably clean, and all the utensils ready to use. The knives had all been sharpened to a keen razors edge. In his inner eye, he watched as she twisted her body oddly at every impact. Her sides and back always taking the blow. She protected her front. He had not understood why, but at the time, it hadn't mattered to him. She had betrayed him, sold him out to his rival in business. He had wanted her to suffer, to feel the pain she had caused him.
Her lips had moved soundlessly. She had tried to speak, but his ears were awash with the sound of his rushing blood, his furiously pumping heart. He wouldn't listen. He didn't care. She had betrayed him, hurt him, broken his heart.
But now, he wondered, had he erred? Looking back, she had never actually seen any of his business associates. She stayed out of his business circles. The only time she had ever seen his work was when he, himself had called her over, or when his father had. Slowly, a painful, dawning realization came upon him. What reason would Kagome have to betray him? What did she have to gain? Kagome could have cared less about his money. She never once involved herself in his business. In fact, she found his whole occupation arduous and boring. She had even thought it deplorable at one point, his ruthless manner in buying out others and underselling the competition. She was too satisfied with her simple way of living. Had it been her choice, she would have gone out, and run a simple store, like a bookshop or some other quaint boutique.
The blood drained from his face. It had been haunting him more and more as the weeks had passed, his reasoning behind Kagome's betrayal. It seemed too convenient. Kagura had always been a good informant, but when her accusations became less probable, he had wondered.
Then she had produced the evidence to damn his fiancée. There were missing papers, papers which had disappeared after Kagome's visits. But Kagome had only visited around when Kagura had, and he only noticed after Kagura had left. There were pictures of Kagome talking with associates of his rival companies. Such pictures would have been easily forged, manipulated, or even planned out by simply having the associate walk up to Kagome and strike up conversation while someone took secret photos. Kagome's kind nature would never turn away someone who just wanted to talk.
The other evidence had been subtly planted around Kagome, small details that only he would notice. Kagome herself would never have noticed something like a moved file or missing disc. But she was a perfectionist in all things neat. If she had actually plotted against him, she would not have been so careless as to leave behind such evidence. Too easily he had let himself be fooled, to be goaded into believing of her betrayal. Had he been thinking rationally, or at all, he would have clearly seen that Kagome was totally innocent…
The sudden fear gripped him. He had been tricked, and he had probably pushed away the only person on earth who would have loved him unconditionally! The glass of liquor slipped from his numb and lifeless fingers. Kami, what had he done? He had raped her in his anger. In his pain, he had beaten her. He had to go back. He had to apologize.
Sesshoumaru stood, snatching up his car keys on his way out. It was two-something in the morning, but it didn't matter. She had to know that he didn't hate her, he wanted her, he missed her, he loved her. He had never stopped loving her. Sesshoumaru had thought that by trying to slake his lusts with other women, drowning himself in alcohol, he would be able to dispel his thoughts and feelings for Kagome, but they all left him feeling hollow and miserable. At first he had hated himself for being such a fool for not being able to forget about her, but now he clung desperately to his memories of her. He wanted nothing more than to be able to return home and have her there, waiting for him with that glowing smile on her face. Oh, Kagome had always been beautiful, but when she smiled, she was positively radiant.
Home.
The word echoed in his mind painfully. Home was supposed to be a place where one felt the most at ease, the most comforting place, a sanctuary. Home for him was with Kagome. He needed to go back. He needed to be with her. He needed her. Without Kagome with him, his life had fallen to pieces too quickly. He never should have doubted her. Guilt had steadily eaten through him until he was now completely hollow inside, aching with need to be with Kagome. He missed her smile, her touch, her love. He wanted to be reassured that she would always be there for him. She had promised to never leave him. She promised!
Sesshoumaru forewent the elevator in favor of the stairs. He wanted to get to her as quickly as possible. Rather than waiting for the lift to take him to the bottom, he flew down the steps, even though he was on the top floor of a twenty story building. Desperation and need fueled him as he ran out into the parking garage. It was raining, and the streets were dimly lit, but he barely noticed as he leapt into his car and gunned it out of the garage. He took the turns at speeds way over the limit, his hands and feet mechanically directing the machine. He knew his way home by heart. His mind was elsewhere, on Kagome.
He saw the large building looming up ahead of him. The familiar house where Kagome was. He remembered when he came home from work, she always greeted him at the door, grinning like mad. The house was always well lit and warm. He would wonder what mischief she had been up to while he was away. It was strange to him how quickly he had come to expect her welcomes over the first four months. He never realized how much he would miss it when she was gone. He jumped from his car, barely remembering to turn the engine off.
Once at the front door, he fumbled with his house keys. Oh Kami, he was nervous. He was afraid. What would he say to her? What would she think? Would she forgive him? Could she? No, it didn't matter. He just had to know she was safe and alright. Even if she didn't forgive him just now, he would keep her by his side and win her over again. He just needed to see her once more. It physically hurt him to not be able to see her, feel her, know that she was beside him. He wanted to snatch her up and hold her soft body in his arms. He wanted to feel her, know she was really there, really real, really his. Kagome, Kagome, Kagome. Her name sang in his head in some eerie song. He should never have hurt her. She never deserved it. He was such a fool!
Shaky fingers fumbled and dropped the keys before he took an unsteady breath to try to calm himself. He retrieved his keys and slid the correct key into the slot, turning it. He could hear the tumblers move as the door unlocked. He took another breath and laid his hand on the door knob. She hadn't changed the locks. She didn't hate him enough to keep him out of the house. That was a good sign. Now, only the door separated him from her. He threw the door open in an uncharacteristic outburst of excitement.
The inside of the house was cold and unlit. He shook his head, it was nearly three am, of course she wouldn't be awake. Kagome would be tucked into bed, sleeping like any normal person. A small part of him had almost expected her to be on the couch, waiting for him, book in hand, and a smile on her face.
He raced upstairs, toward the room they had shared. Two flights up, to the right, down the second hallway, third room on the right. He was face to face with the smooth mahogany door. He placed his hand on it's cherry finish and slowly pushed to door open. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the absolute pitch darkness of the room, but when they did, all he could do was blink. It was empty. The bed was perfectly made, no telltale lump to indicate a sleeping person. Had she fallen asleep elsewhere? Kagome was sometimes prone to falling asleep in the strangest of places. He had once found her asleep in the pantry, her hand curled about a can of soup.
He checked the next room, and the next. He searched the entire third floor, then the second, then the first. His mind roiled in panic. Where was she? He couldn't find her! Was there some other room or place he had neglected to check? He ran madly through the house, calling her name and flicking on every light in the residence. Then he noticed, he finally saw how totally empty the house was. Photographs, furniture, even some decorations were gone.
He slowly went from room to room. He flicked through photo albums. There were still some pictures in them, but any single photo containing a Kagome had been removed. Her clothes were gone. The furniture she had picked out for the house were gone. Even her favorite foods were missing from the fridge and pantry. Anything that had been Kagome's was gone. The entire house was bare except for that which had belonged to him.
She had been terribly meticulous in her removal of her belongings. There was nothing in the house to ever prove that there once had been a loving, kind, and gorgeous woman living there. Sesshoumaru ached in knowing that now he had nothing to remember her by.
Sharp, accusing words slapped him in the face.
"I never want to see you, or anything of you ever again!"
They had been his own words, and she had taken them to heart. Oh how he regretted that those painful, scathing words had ever slipped from his lips.
He slumped lifelessly onto the couch. It was a couch he had chosen for the living room. Smooth black leather to contrast the white plush carpet and clear glass table. The small, colorful vase of flowers which Kagome kept on the table was gone. He stared into nothingness and hung his head morosely.
It struck him now, everything in the house was covered in a fine, even layer of dust, showing that no one had been in there for some time. The whole house was dismally quiet. Even with all the lights on, the house lacked warmth. The wetness from running in the rain caused him further chill.
No, he wasn't home. This was just a shell of a house. Without Kagome, this house meant nothing to him.
Kagome was gone.
[End Part Three]
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Chapter Ten: Four Years Into the Past Part Three
Shippou was aghast.
It had been sometime since he had last heard from his okaa-san, and when he had heard from her, she didn’t sound normal. She was usually more perky and gleeful, but in their last phone call, his okaa-san’s cheerfulness sounded strained, forced.
At the time, he had been busy with his own company, and chalked up her strangeness to her being tired. He would be tired too if he had to live with Mr. Hardass Snowman like she did. Guilt-tripping now, he decided to pay her a surprise visit to make up for the time they had been out of contact. He couldn’t wait to see her and her expression at seeing him so suddenly.
No one had answered the front door, so he walked toward the back door. He knew that his okaa-san usually had the back door open, as it was near the kitchen and she liked to have the sunlight streaming in. He was a little startled to find the back of the house dark as all else, but the kitchen door was unlocked, so he let himself in.
He fumbled through the house a moment, searching for the light switch. Finding it, he flicked it on and blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted. Once his eyes regained focus, he all but screamed.
Kagome lay on the floor in pool of her own dried blood, dead to the world.
Hurriedly, he bent over her, seeking signs of life. Finding a faint pulse, he gave a sigh of relief before checking the extent of her injuries. She was covered in cuts and bruises. One arm looked to be dislocated. Her breathing was shaky and uneven, each breath a struggle. He feared that she had a broken rib or two. She was drenched in her own blood, now sticky and dry. What kind of monster would do this to her?
He looked about the kitchen. Her blood was spattered across the floor, countertops, table, walls, even the damned ceiling. His blood boiled at the sight. If he ever caught the bastard who did this to her, he would rip out his intestines and strangle him with it. Shippou ran to the sink, collecting a washcloth and a bowl of warm water. He moistened the cloth, and gently cleaned Kagome of the blood. He knew that it would cause her even more pain if he tried to move her while she was encrusted in her own dried blood.
“Okaa-san? Okaa-san? Can you hear me? Are you ok? Kagome?!” He called out to her while tending to her, his voice rising in pitch as the panic grew within him. She lay on the cold tile floor, eyes staring out unresponsively, lifelessly.
He winced as he cleaned out a particularly deep cut. He peered at it. She was lucky that though the cut was deep, it had not severed any tendons or deep muscle. For the most part, most of her wounds looked to be only flesh wounds which would heal, but scar. Her dislocated shoulder could be reset. Hopefully, her broken ribs had not caused too much internal damage. She would be fine, physically, but mentally, he feared the worst. She looked totally broken.
He cursed Sesshoumaru. Where was that damned man when she needed him? Didn’t he know that Kagome was hurt? She looked to have been there for hours! Shippou studied the room. He took that back, she had been there for a day or two at least…in that time, Sesshoumaru would have been blind to have not noticed…but that would mean…
He grit his teeth, lips pulling back in a scowl. He threw the towel angrily against a wall. DAMN THAT BASTARD! HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO HER?!!
Kagome seemed to react to his anger. Her head swiveled slightly, the slowness of her movements revealing the amount of pain she was in. “Shippou-chan?” She asked absently.
Shippou was at her side in an instant. “Okaa-san? Okaa-san? Are you ok?” He clasped her hands in his.
She flinched momentarily. “Yes, I’m fine. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?” She asked shakily, her voice trembling.
Emerald eyes widened. Rage bubbled within him. Kami, was she afraid of him? He silently cursed Sesshoumaru to Hell in all the agonizing ways possible. “Don’t think of work now, okaa-san! What happened to you?” He asked, trying to restrain his anger so as to not scare her.
“Nothing I didn’t deserve. You should leave, Shippou-chan. He’ll be very angry if I’m here.” She murmured, her eyelids drooping. Lack of nutrition and blood had severely weakened her, but Shippou was just happy she was still alive. By all rights, she should have been dead from her injuries and neglect.
“Okaa-san, you’re not making any sense.” He picked up the thrown cloth, gingerly wiping at her wounds.
“Very mad. I have to go. I need to…” She drifted off, eyes closing.
“Okaa-san?!” Shippou shrieked in blind panic.
Her eyes fluttered open, terrible, dull, grey eyes. They stared out hollowly. “Oh, mustn’t forget. I have something to do…then I have to go…”
“Go where Okaa-san?”
“Leave…he wants me gone….I need to…” Her voice faded to inaudible whispers. Shippou bent down to hear, his ear millimeters from her moving lips. His expression darkened at what he heard.
The bastard had beaten her because he thought she had betrayed him?! The fool. Kagome was the purest soul ever to walk the earth! And he wanted her gone?! Very well, he would see to it that Sesshoumaru would never be able to lay a hand on Kagome ever again!
“Okaa-san?” He knelt so that he was eyelevel with her. He spoke in soft, reassuring tones. “I’ll help you. I’ll do it for you. Just tell me what to do.”
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Two months had passed since he had last seen Kagome. Two months since he had left the woman, injured, bleeding on the kitchen floor. He had since then drowned himself in women and alcohol. Neither satiated him. Instead, they left him feeling ill. A terrible feeling had been growing in the pit of his stomach. It had intensified into an agony so strong, he felt as if it would have torn him apart. Life simply no longer seemed to be worth living.
Sesshoumaru sat, slouched in a chair. He idly twirled a delicate glass of wine between his fingers, before setting it aside in search of a stronger beverage. He had lost weight. His appearance had become almost gaunt, his eyes a bit more dull than their normal piercing gold. He no longer carried himself as strongly or as confidently as he had before. His whole appearance had a weary and worn look. He was utterly miserable.
Only two months without Kagome, and he was already contemplating leaving everything behind. Nothing seemed worth the effort. He no longer cared. His empire was in order, his fortune secure. There was nothing for him.
He had spent the past two months renting out the most expensive penthouses in all of Tokyo. He had done everything possible to try to rid his thoughts of the woman who had betrayed him, but her hurt, broken image would not leave him. It seemed branded into his mind, never fading. It would replay in his mind, over and over. He could see her body fall, collide into the side of the counter. There was a glint of metal he had not noticed at the time, but now he realized that she had repeatedly landed on a kitchen knife.
Kagome had always kept the kitchen impeccably clean, and all the utensils ready to use. The knives had all been sharpened to a keen razors edge. In his inner eye, he watched as she twisted her body oddly at every impact. Her sides and back always taking the blow. She protected her front. He had not understood why, but at the time, it hadn't mattered to him. She had betrayed him, sold him out to his rival in business. He had wanted her to suffer, to feel the pain she had caused him.
Her lips had moved soundlessly. She had tried to speak, but his ears were awash with the sound of his rushing blood, his furiously pumping heart. He wouldn't listen. He didn't care. She had betrayed him, hurt him, broken his heart.
But now, he wondered, had he erred? Looking back, she had never actually seen any of his business associates. She stayed out of his business circles. The only time she had ever seen his work was when he, himself had called her over, or when his father had. Slowly, a painful, dawning realization came upon him. What reason would Kagome have to betray him? What did she have to gain? Kagome could have cared less about his money. She never once involved herself in his business. In fact, she found his whole occupation arduous and boring. She had even thought it deplorable at one point, his ruthless manner in buying out others and underselling the competition. She was too satisfied with her simple way of living. Had it been her choice, she would have gone out, and run a simple store, like a bookshop or some other quaint boutique.
The blood drained from his face. It had been haunting him more and more as the weeks had passed, his reasoning behind Kagome's betrayal. It seemed too convenient. Kagura had always been a good informant, but when her accusations became less probable, he had wondered.
Then she had produced the evidence to damn his fiancée. There were missing papers, papers which had disappeared after Kagome's visits. But Kagome had only visited around when Kagura had, and he only noticed after Kagura had left. There were pictures of Kagome talking with associates of his rival companies. Such pictures would have been easily forged, manipulated, or even planned out by simply having the associate walk up to Kagome and strike up conversation while someone took secret photos. Kagome's kind nature would never turn away someone who just wanted to talk.
The other evidence had been subtly planted around Kagome, small details that only he would notice. Kagome herself would never have noticed something like a moved file or missing disc. But she was a perfectionist in all things neat. If she had actually plotted against him, she would not have been so careless as to leave behind such evidence. Too easily he had let himself be fooled, to be goaded into believing of her betrayal. Had he been thinking rationally, or at all, he would have clearly seen that Kagome was totally innocent…
The sudden fear gripped him. He had been tricked, and he had probably pushed away the only person on earth who would have loved him unconditionally! The glass of liquor slipped from his numb and lifeless fingers. Kami, what had he done? He had raped her in his anger. In his pain, he had beaten her. He had to go back. He had to apologize.
Sesshoumaru stood, snatching up his car keys on his way out. It was two-something in the morning, but it didn't matter. She had to know that he didn't hate her, he wanted her, he missed her, he loved her. He had never stopped loving her. Sesshoumaru had thought that by trying to slake his lusts with other women, drowning himself in alcohol, he would be able to dispel his thoughts and feelings for Kagome, but they all left him feeling hollow and miserable. At first he had hated himself for being such a fool for not being able to forget about her, but now he clung desperately to his memories of her. He wanted nothing more than to be able to return home and have her there, waiting for him with that glowing smile on her face. Oh, Kagome had always been beautiful, but when she smiled, she was positively radiant.
Home.
The word echoed in his mind painfully. Home was supposed to be a place where one felt the most at ease, the most comforting place, a sanctuary. Home for him was with Kagome. He needed to go back. He needed to be with her. He needed her. Without Kagome with him, his life had fallen to pieces too quickly. He never should have doubted her. Guilt had steadily eaten through him until he was now completely hollow inside, aching with need to be with Kagome. He missed her smile, her touch, her love. He wanted to be reassured that she would always be there for him. She had promised to never leave him. She promised!
Sesshoumaru forewent the elevator in favor of the stairs. He wanted to get to her as quickly as possible. Rather than waiting for the lift to take him to the bottom, he flew down the steps, even though he was on the top floor of a twenty story building. Desperation and need fueled him as he ran out into the parking garage. It was raining, and the streets were dimly lit, but he barely noticed as he leapt into his car and gunned it out of the garage. He took the turns at speeds way over the limit, his hands and feet mechanically directing the machine. He knew his way home by heart. His mind was elsewhere, on Kagome.
He saw the large building looming up ahead of him. The familiar house where Kagome was. He remembered when he came home from work, she always greeted him at the door, grinning like mad. The house was always well lit and warm. He would wonder what mischief she had been up to while he was away. It was strange to him how quickly he had come to expect her welcomes over the first four months. He never realized how much he would miss it when she was gone. He jumped from his car, barely remembering to turn the engine off.
Once at the front door, he fumbled with his house keys. Oh Kami, he was nervous. He was afraid. What would he say to her? What would she think? Would she forgive him? Could she? No, it didn't matter. He just had to know she was safe and alright. Even if she didn't forgive him just now, he would keep her by his side and win her over again. He just needed to see her once more. It physically hurt him to not be able to see her, feel her, know that she was beside him. He wanted to snatch her up and hold her soft body in his arms. He wanted to feel her, know she was really there, really real, really his. Kagome, Kagome, Kagome. Her name sang in his head in some eerie song. He should never have hurt her. She never deserved it. He was such a fool!
Shaky fingers fumbled and dropped the keys before he took an unsteady breath to try to calm himself. He retrieved his keys and slid the correct key into the slot, turning it. He could hear the tumblers move as the door unlocked. He took another breath and laid his hand on the door knob. She hadn't changed the locks. She didn't hate him enough to keep him out of the house. That was a good sign. Now, only the door separated him from her. He threw the door open in an uncharacteristic outburst of excitement.
The inside of the house was cold and unlit. He shook his head, it was nearly three am, of course she wouldn't be awake. Kagome would be tucked into bed, sleeping like any normal person. A small part of him had almost expected her to be on the couch, waiting for him, book in hand, and a smile on her face.
He raced upstairs, toward the room they had shared. Two flights up, to the right, down the second hallway, third room on the right. He was face to face with the smooth mahogany door. He placed his hand on it's cherry finish and slowly pushed to door open. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the absolute pitch darkness of the room, but when they did, all he could do was blink. It was empty. The bed was perfectly made, no telltale lump to indicate a sleeping person. Had she fallen asleep elsewhere? Kagome was sometimes prone to falling asleep in the strangest of places. He had once found her asleep in the pantry, her hand curled about a can of soup.
He checked the next room, and the next. He searched the entire third floor, then the second, then the first. His mind roiled in panic. Where was she? He couldn't find her! Was there some other room or place he had neglected to check? He ran madly through the house, calling her name and flicking on every light in the residence. Then he noticed, he finally saw how totally empty the house was. Photographs, furniture, even some decorations were gone.
He slowly went from room to room. He flicked through photo albums. There were still some pictures in them, but any single photo containing a Kagome had been removed. Her clothes were gone. The furniture she had picked out for the house were gone. Even her favorite foods were missing from the fridge and pantry. Anything that had been Kagome's was gone. The entire house was bare except for that which had belonged to him.
She had been terribly meticulous in her removal of her belongings. There was nothing in the house to ever prove that there once had been a loving, kind, and gorgeous woman living there. Sesshoumaru ached in knowing that now he had nothing to remember her by.
Sharp, accusing words slapped him in the face.
"I never want to see you, or anything of you ever again!"
They had been his own words, and she had taken them to heart. Oh how he regretted that those painful, scathing words had ever slipped from his lips.
He slumped lifelessly onto the couch. It was a couch he had chosen for the living room. Smooth black leather to contrast the white plush carpet and clear glass table. The small, colorful vase of flowers which Kagome kept on the table was gone. He stared into nothingness and hung his head morosely.
It struck him now, everything in the house was covered in a fine, even layer of dust, showing that no one had been in there for some time. The whole house was dismally quiet. Even with all the lights on, the house lacked warmth. The wetness from running in the rain caused him further chill.
No, he wasn't home. This was just a shell of a house. Without Kagome, this house meant nothing to him.
Kagome was gone.
[End Part Three]
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