InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Path You Follow ❯ Aishiteru and Goodbye ( Chapter 9 )

"I want to know you forever, cradle each other from soft baby hair through the young stiffness and back to the silky drift of old age, to feel you forever." (Feel Forever, Meredith Blowen)

The Path You Follow

By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul

Author's note: Gomen, I would have updated sooner but I haven't been able to get on my computer for more then a few minutes at a time without being interrupted and I had a slight case of writer's block. Things aren't going so well for me at the moment. But anyways, here's the update and if you have time check out a one-shot I wrote called `Even the Wicked' it's an A/U lemon inspired by Sesshoumaru and Rin (so if you have a problem with that couple then disregard what I just said. . . because I guess that it's slightly controversial.) It's posted on mediaminer.org, adultfanfiction.net and my homepage. Read and review, onegai!

Last time: "Never mind," she mumbled, "go ahead."

Those green eyes shone in amusement and the eyebrows rose knowingly as she smirked. Suddenly Kagome wished she had a bow and a quiver of arrows at that moment. . .

Chapter 9: Aishiteru and Goodbye

~*~

His flesh was pale and smooth, no scar was left behind, and the only memory of what had transpired was in their mind. Her hands, cool and soft, rubbed away the remnants of blood from both their bodies. If she had not been angry he would have embraced her, taken her on the banks of the shallow river they bathed in. But she was more then angry, she was confused and in a sense she looked defeated. So he let her wash away the blood and they stood in the cold river waters, silent and avoiding eye contact.

The minutes passed and soon she was scrubbing at flesh that was already clean, all traces of the dried crimson liquid were gone. Sesshoumaru's back was facing her and the silence was overwhelming; she felt very alone. The anger had faded and she did not want to speak the decision she had made but it needed to be said, he needed to hear it.

Kagome's arms went around his waist and she drew in his warmth. Her cheek rested upon his damp hair that clung to him, her bare breasts were pressed against his lower back. At that moment she felt tiny, and when she spoke her voice seemed small.

"Why did you do that?"

Silence. His arms were crossed over his chest and his eyes were closed in an attempt to block out her question. But he couldn't ignore her, not when she was so close, pressed intimately against him. He would never be able to simply ignore her, but he did not want to answer the question. All this time, he had known that what he felt for Kagome was love, he had long since ceased to deny it. It was something he accepted and acknowledged. Why then, had he reacted in such a way? How had he lost his control?

Never before had he felt the anger, the pain and the anguish that he had felt in those few minutes when he had thought her dead. Those feelings had consumed him, before then he had not thought emotions could be so powerful, not for a youkai. Yet, he had been willing to end it all, after living hundreds of years without needing anything or anyone he had wanted to end his life just because a ningen female had died. The thought made him grimace, he was sure if he were to speak such words they would leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

Behind him, Sesshoumaru felt Kagome shiver. Of course, they were in a river, the waters were cold and she was a ningen, susceptible to the elements. But he stood still, needing to test his own will. He wanted to know if he had changed so much since meeting Kagome, had he become so involved with her that he could see nothing past her? Was anything not directly involving Kagome not worth his time anymore? Her arms tightened around his waist. How long would he let her suffer in the cold?

Not very long, because a second later he took her hand and led her out of the water. He sat in a patch of sun atop a nearby boulder and she sat between his legs, leaning back against his chest. His long, powerful arms wrapped around her shoulders. The thought of her being uncomfortable did not sit well with him, he discovered. Or rather he had known that but for a second had denied it. Somehow, he had failed his own test. It would seem that his love for her went deeper then he had ever thought.

Somewhere along the way he had become a lovesick puppy who would do anything for the petite ningen woman that he now held so firmly. It was actually somewhat frightening, to be so devoted to one person. How could one ensure that their love would not be turned against them? But her eyes, innocent and sparkling blue, looked up into his face and he knew he could never suspect her of anything foul.

"I thought I lost you," he finally answered. While it was not the entire truth, he didn't think he was ready to let her know everything just yet.

Kagome frowned, half turning in his arms so that she didn't have to turn her head at such an odd angle to face him.

"You thought I died and so you tried to hurt my friends? It wasn't their fault that this happened."

Her voice was stern but her eyes were soft, as if she already knew the truth of the reasoning behind his actions. The palms of her hands were resting on his chest.

"Does it matter? No one was hurt,"

"It does matter," she said, "You could have killed Sango. What you did was selfish and childish."

Anger began to build within him, he thought to push her away but instead he lifted her and gently placed her at arms length as he stood. For a moment, he really wished that he could push her away physically and emotionally, but he knew at that point it was nearly impossible. Turning his back on her, he began to search for his clothing. They had tried to wash the blood away but it was already set in the white cloth, and it was not yet dried. He didn't want to speak to her anymore, but Kagome persisted, following him as he walked away from her.

"What would happen to Rin if you were to die? What about Shippou, when I die you have to promise me you'll take care of him."

The ire continued to swell in him; he didn't want to think about that, not yet. If he had anything to say about it she would not die, ever.

"I don't have to promise you anything," he said evenly.

Kami help him, but she started to cry and he actually felt bad. Why was it she could make him feel these things? The taiyoukai was certain it was some kind of curse, love must surely be just that; a curse. Resigning himself to his fate, he went to her and she threw herself in his arms and continued to cry. Her warm tears fell from her cheeks onto his bare chest and she shivered when a breeze blew past. Somewhere in his mind he wished that their clothes would just hurry up and dry so that she would stop shivering.

"You didn't mean it, right?" she sniffled, "You will take care of Shippou for me when I die?"

"If you used the Shikon-," he began, but she interrupted, pushing him away as he had not been able to do before.

"No! I told you, I will not use the Shikon no tama to make myself a youkai." They had argued about this many times before, but it seemed more urgent now that her death seemed to linger over them.

"If you don't use the Shikon no tama than you will die," he stated.

"Hai, I will. I'm a ningen and it is natural for us to die. You are a youkai and it is natural for you to stay alive for centuries longer then us. It's something we will have to accept."

"You have the power to change that, and yet you refuse."

"I cannot watch the people around me die, Sesshoumaru. It would break my heart to see all my friends and family grow old and die around me."

Yet she was asking him to do what she could not; to be with her and watch her grow old and eventually die. Was she perhaps being selfish in what she asked of him? What would happen if she really died? Would he once again seek to hurt others in his grief? She didn't need to ask because he answered in the cold, distant voice that he seldom used on her.

"If you refuse, then when you truly die I won't stop with injuring those around me, I'll destroy an entire village. I'll destroy all of Nippon if I have to. I will not see you die again,"

The young miko's face paled, her blood went cold. His voice held conviction and she wondered if he was really serious or if it was an empty threat. She could not look into his eyes, her face turned towards her reflection in the river. There was still a dark mark upon her cheek, one hidden from the view of most others. `The curse of the dark blossom.'

She needed time; they both needed time to think about what had happened. Their future needed to be thought out, if a future without pain was possible for them. But if anything she needed to tell him the truth.

"I can't allow that to happen, Sesshoumaru, neither can I let the Shikon no tama be corrupted by a selfish desire like the one you ask of me. But none of it might matter in two weeks' time." She said, placing a palm atop the dark sakura blossom marring her face. "In two weeks if I don't find and kill the woman who cursed me then both Yukiko and I will be under her control. But before then, Yukiko could die. She's already so weak. . . I don't want her death on my shoulders; I don't think I could bear the guilt. I have to find Koridomi before then."

He let the subject drop, there wasn't much more he could say or do to persuade her. For the most part their clothing was dry and they both began to dress before heading back to where their companions were waiting for them.

~*~

It had been two days. The time had passed agonizingly slow for the two captives alone in the small room. They had not been given any food and Rin was crying from the painful stabs of hunger plaguing her.

"Stupid youkai, they must have forgotten that you're a ningen and you need food and water!" complained Shippou as he did his best to comfort the girl. The binding spell had dissolved earlier that morning and every once in a while he would go to the door and pound and yell to try and get some attention. It didn't seem to be working.

They were both beginning to wonder how much longer it would take for their guardians to come and rescue them, they had no way of knowing that they were oblivious to their disappearance.

The little fox youkai was banging his head against the door when it finally opened. A thin, hawk-eyed youkai stepped into the room.

"Oi, what's with all the pounding?" he questioned. "You're giving me a headache."

"Baka! Don't you know she's a ningen?" Shippou said, pointing to where Rin lay against the wall opposite of the door. "She needs food and water to live!"

One big, heavy foot descended onto the red-haired child's head. He immediately buckled under the pressure and fell onto his stomach; the foot was placed firmly on his back.

"Listen here you little bastard, show some respect when talking to me." More pressure was put onto the foot resting on Shippou's back. The bigger youkai spit on the ground next to the little kitsune before turning on his heel and walking out.

Shippou glared at the closed door and limped over towards Rin. A few minutes later a boy entered the room carrying a tray of food. His eyes were ice blue and his hair was a deep bronze color, he had pointy ears that indicated he was a full-blooded youkai.

Without a word, the tray was placed on the floor in the center of the room and the new youkai turned to leave. But as he turned to leave a voice stopped him.

"Arigato," Rin said, already shoving the food into her mouth. She smiled at the youkai who turned to look at her before walking out the door and locking it behind him.

~*~

"What did you say, you little bug-eyed creep?"

"Kagome," Sesshoumaru interjected before she could physically harm his servant.

They had just been given news of the events that had transpired in their absence from the taiyoukai's domain. Neither of them was happy, but as usual Sesshoumaru was more collected with his emotions. Plans began to form in his mind as he headed towards his chambers to change out of his soiled clothing. Kagome followed behind him, berating Jaken who was walking beside her.

For the moment their earlier conversation was forgotten, getting Rin and Shippou back were at the forefront of their minds. The rest of their companions had retreated to their rooms, or in Inuyasha's case, `his' tree in Sesshoumaru's garden.

His voice, while softer in pitch, penetrated through Kagome's shrieking.

"They went East?" he asked, his hard, cold eyes rested on Jaken who fidgeted nervously but nodded.

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama."

The taiyoukai stopped at the door leading into his and Kagome's room. His face was passive, but Kagome could see in his eyes that he was thinking.

"And he was a bird youkai with golden hair?"

"Hai."

"How very interesting," without elaborating, he opened the door and entered the room with Kagome on his heels. Jaken made to follow but the miko shut the door in his face.

"Stay out of here you little toad, I need to change," she was not usually so harsh when she spoke to the green-skinned servant. But he had allowed Rin and Shippou to be kidnapped and she was not at all happy with him.

"Well?" Kagome questioned, grabbing another pair of miko robes. "What do you find so interesting about his hair color?"

"Have you ever met the Eastern lord?"

Kagome shook her head, "Of course not."

"He's rather dull witted, but holds his honor above all else. A bear youkai, with brown hair, as are most of his servants."

"But not all of his servants are bear youkai, he could have gotten help from a bird youkai, right?"

Sesshoumaru nodded his head as he tied the sash around his hakama.

"That's true, but as I said he holds his honor above all else. It would be beneath him to kidnap a child."

"Then who?"

"I don't know," he answered while securing both the Tenseiga and Toukijin to his side.

"Then how will we find them?" she asked.

"We wont. I will find them. You need to find the kuroi miko as soon as possible." He didn't want to think about the consequences should Kagome be possessed by that vile woman. There was no way he would harm Kagome, even if she were sent to kill him, but he did not voice those thoughts knowing they would only add fuel to the fiery conversation they had earlier.

"I can't let you do this alone, I need to be sure that they're safe too," but her voice lacked conviction. She knew that she needed time away from him; needed time to think and test what life was like away from him for a relatively long period of time. Also, she was aware of the fact that he was more than capable of getting their adopted children back safely.

"You needn't worry, I will get them back safely," internally he added, `I promise.'

Half of him was reluctant to be away from her after what they had gone through, the other half was relieved. He couldn't think clearly when she was constantly around him. She was too much of a distraction no matter how pleasant and their current situation definitely needed to be thought about. The fact that he loved her more than his own life was something that needed to be deeply considered. What exactly was he willing to give up for her? Was there any limit?

He had thought he knew his limits, but had been wrong. She created new limits for him, her love both limited and broadened his capabilities. All of that had to be pondered and in a way Rin and Shippou being kidnapped was a blessing that would allow him time alone to discover the answers to the multitude of questions he had for himself.

"When are you leaving?" she asked, her voice a whisper. Not exactly sad, but not happy either.

"Immediately," he answered, taking her chin between his fingers so that their eyes met. His lips met hers in a soft, chaste kiss that made no assumptions or promises. It was a simple act of affection with no hidden meanings.

"Aishiteru," he murmured, but his eyes didn't meet hers. He placed another kiss on her forehead before walking out of the room with long, quick strides.

When she could no longer hear his soft footsteps her eyes turned steely. There were more important things to think about now that she was sure Rin and Shippou would return to her safely. She had to be alive for them as long as possible and to do that she needed to be rid of the curse.

Looking out past her balcony, she watched Sesshoumaru and Jaken enter the forest.

"Aishiteru," she said, turning away and grabbing her bow and a quiver of arrows before walking out of the room to find her friends.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Reviewer responses:

Aira^o^: That was quite the beating you gave to Kouga lol. He's threatened never to work with me again! (as if he has a choice mwahahaha) Anyways about the question you had. . . Yukiko has not broken the curse, so the spirits can still take control of her body, but also she can be in control of it sometimes as well. So at that time she was in control, but when she gets overly emotional then it's easier for the spirits to take over and that is why in the last chapter she sort of blacks out and then one of the spirits takes over. Kind of confusing, ne? I'm beginning to confuse myself. . . lol Thanks for the review.

Riomi: ^_^ Sorry, to leave you hanging a bit but here's the update. I thought I would have Kagome make this big speech about how she loves him and how he shouldn't have done what he did, but I really didn't think anything she could say would change what Sesshoumaru thinks so instead I made Sess really thoughtful about his actions, I made his question himself. While I would have liked to write a long sappy speech about love for Kagome to say I did like writing Sesshoumaru as a bit unsure and confused about his actions. Kind of out of character for him, but then again love changes people. Arigato.

Lil_sesshi: Hope you liked the chapter and thanks for reading and leaving a review.

Siluetta: Thanks for the review. I'm so happy with the responses I get from my readers, I didn't realize you people pay so much attention! I did a lot of thinking about how I would set up the curse and so I'm happy to see that people notice that kind of stuff. ^_^

Helen: * blushes * I'm glad you liked that chapter so much. I wasn't really sure about the whole Sesshoumaru losing his cool over Kagome thing and I thought I'd be flamed! But it turned out pretty well, glad you liked it and thank you for the review.

Spirit element: Hmmm. . . I don't think Sesshoumaru or Inuyasha would have the patience to put up with computers at all lol they'd just end up smashing it probably. As for tests, I could see Sesshoumaru threatening any teacher who would dare to question his knowledge. Hehe, anyways thanks for the review.

PeachesDani: Yes, he loves her. * sniffles * it's so touching! I wish someone loved me that much! . . . Right, sorry about that. * cough * Anyways hope you liked this chapter, arigato for the review. ^_~

Snowcat: Thanks for the review. I'm always happy to hear that people don't hate me for writing Sesshoumaru the way I do. He's a rather difficult character to write in a romance type story. Yeah. . . the American version is way behind the Japanese. I personally went ahead and spent too much money buying up to episodes 102 on DVD and I'm still behind. . . heh, anyways hope you liked the chapter.