InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Pearl ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

The Pearl

 

Disclaimer: You know the song and dance.

 

 

Chapter Two

 

I doubt sometimes whether

a quiet & unagitated life

would have suited me—yet I

sometimes long for it.

~Byron

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakken!” Rin whined as loud as humanly possible. “I need heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!”

 

The imp waddled indignantly over to the petulant teenage girl. “What are you flapping your mouth about, stupid girl?” he grumbled. “You're loud enough to be heard in the next world.”

 

Rin shrugged the comment off gracefully. So the toad needed to be sweet-talked today. What else was new? “I need you to light the fire for the bath-house, Jakken-sama,” Rin calmly requested. As an afterthought, she blinked her eyes cutely, and puckered her lips. “Pwetty pweeze?”

 

“Do it yourself, you unending pain!” the retainer wailed. “Don't you have that flint you carry?”

 

The girl smiled so sweetly, Jakken could feel his non-existent teeth rotting. “I lost it,” she sang, as if losing things was a game.

 

Jakken smirked. “Well, that's your problem then, seeing as that was your flint.”

 

Rin stomped her foot indignantly. “Just light the damn fire, Jakken,” she groused. “Light it, and I'll cook something nice for dinner tonight.” She placed her finger to her temple in thought, before holding it up in the air and smiling brightly. “How about rabbit? Mmmmm, rabbit! Yummy yummy!” She rubbed her hand over her belly and licked her lips, hoping the toad would bite.

 

“We always have rabbit,” he whined right back, knowing full well how to beat the child at her own game.

 

“But you like it when I fix it,” she reminded him with big brown glassy eyes. Any second, tears would fall, and she'd be weeping and begging incoherently. It was always her best last resort.

 

And Jakken knew it. “Alright already,” he screeched. “Rabbit it is, now go take your bath you stinking human!” The toad made his way under the bath-house, and with a quick blast from Nintoujou had the fire blazing and already warming the water.

 

“Thank you Jakken-chan,” Rin teased, blowing a kiss over her shoulder before disappearing inside the building.

 

“Don't call me `chan'!” the imp yelled, waving his fist. The girl never ceased to amaze him with the new ways she discovered to annoy him. Shaking his head, he lumbered off to the garden, trying to remember what he had been setting out to do before Rin started whining at him.

 

Inside the bath-house, Rin shucked off her clothes expediently and stretched her body out in the steam. With any luck, she could burn that outfit, and never have to smell it again. This past mission had been quite a workout from the beginning, what with hauling around heavy explosives in layers upon layers of clothes. Just when she thought she was dehydrated and had drained every pore, she'd sweat some more. And sleeping in the stable didn't help either. Honestly, how Sesshomaru was able to stand near her and not gag was truly amazing.

 

But then, Sesshomaru was never one for facial expressions.

 

“It was a pain in the ass!” she'd whined earlier that morning, when he had asked her if the mission went well. For extra effect, she'd slammed her rice bowl on the table, sending a few stray kernels flying.

 

“This Sesshomaru never said any of this would be easy, Rin,” he reminded her.

 

As with everything Sesshomaru did, he did it with finesse. Like now, as he ate breakfast, he was elegantly moving his arm from the bowl on the table to his mouth, chopsticks perfectly grasping the same amount of food, chewing soundlessly, and swallowing so that every muscle in his throat was emphasized, before doing it all again with his long sleeve fluttering. Rin found that it could be quite easy to lose herself when watching her guardian do anything. And it often landed her in trouble; meals ended when he was finished eating, and if she forgot to eat because she was watching him eat, then too bad.

 

Rin huffed out a breath through her lower lip, blowing her bangs away from her face. “Yeah, well, don't expect me to be nice or anything, for like, a few days or something,” she moped.

 

Sesshomaru merely nodded.

 

Rin sighed, then switched to a new tactic. “I lost my flint,” she griped, “and the sword's nearly dull from all the soldiers I had to cut down, what with the armor and all.”

 

The demon gestured out to the left with his chopsticks, not bothering to look up from his breakfast. “You know where to find the proper equipment needed to replace everything,” he almost sighed. “Do not be as careless the next time; you know perfectly well how dangerous it will be for you to leave any evidence of your…interferences.”

 

Rin huffed and pulled her rice-bowl closer to her face. She didn't mean to lose the flint, it just got lost in the way-side while she was fighting for her very life. Speaking of that.

 

“I almost lost my necklace,” she whispered, clutching her throat and glaring at the rice.

 

Sesshomaru looked up.

 

Rin wanted him to know she was scared, but without admitting she was scared. She had felt so frantic the night before, when she thought she'd lost her pearl. Without it, then she'd be lost. It was more than a good luck charm; it was her. In the midst of battle, some arrow or some spear could have found her out, and just like that, she'd be gone. All her hard work, and all her dances with fate would have been for nothing. This mission had frayed her last nerve.

 

Finally, after enough dramatic tension had set in, or so she felt, she lifted her glare from the rice to her lord and guardian, hoping he could understand what she wasn't saying.

 

I was scared I was going to die again, she told him with her eyes.

 

Sesshomaru blinked.

 

“I want it fixed,” she hissed through her teeth. “I want it fixed so I don't have to worry about it anymore, not ever.”

 

The demon seemed to consider the human girl's words, and the underlying threat beneath them. The threat was, that if he didn't do something to fix this problem, she would, and the results would probably be disastrous at best. All too well, he remembered the time she tried to carve it into her chest. She still had scars from that attempt. And of course there had been the time she tried to burn her arm enough so that the flesh would heal around the stone. Jakken had nearly fainted at the sight. The most recent had been trying to sew it into her belly button. It was amazing to him, the pains she would go through to keep that pearl on her person.

 

Blinking and taking a deep breath, the demon lord paid the girl the courtesy of nodding directly at her, before returning his attention once again to breakfast. “We will leave for Totosai's forge,” he declared, “after you have had a bath.” The last part had been muttered low, trying and failing to not sound derisive. She knew very well that she reeked, so it was okay.

 

Now, she was soaking in the warm water, letting the minerals fizz over her skin. Comforts such as this made her grateful that she had been rescued by someone rich, though truthfully she would have adored him no matter what. And that was what absolutely killed her; she would have followed him, demon or human, noble or pauper, because he was him. He would always be him, no matter what skin he wore. His soul was familiar to her; it comforted her, and called to her, while it remained firm in its sense of duty to bring her up properly. But that didn't stop her from doing things on her own. At age 18, Rin knew what lover was.

 

Sort of.

 

She was pretty sure, but wasn't totally sure. She'd never had one, and probably never would. That was okay by her, seeing as no man in his right mind would come a' courtin' for the ward of the Lord of the Western Lands. And she didn't want anyone out of his right mind. So everything worked out for the best.

 

Rin slouched and blew bubbles along the water's surface with her mouth. Maybe it would be nice though, she thought glumly. The demon's kiss from the night before still lingered on her mouth, and it irritated her. That certainly was not her first kiss, nor would it be the last, and unfortunately it would probably be under similar circumstances. It was just a shame that she had to kill every man who kissed her, or even tried to kiss her. Some of them completely disgusted her. But some of them weren't too bad looking, and she thought that she might not mind kissing them, if they weren't slated to die at her hand.

 

She hadn't meant to kiss him in the first place. She hadn't meant to be seen or heard, either. Who would have thought the floor boards would creak? It turned her stomach, when she realized what she had to do to avoid being discovered. She knew that most males found her to be attractive. Some of them she could care less about what they thought, but some she banked on them thinking she was pretty. It was how she did her job, and did it well. This snotty prince was convinced she had the hots for him, and it got him killed in the end. Rin giggled to herself. Men really weren't picky about the women they liked, as long as they were physically attractive. Fortunately, she was also gifted with a sparkling personality, should her looks fail.

 

It wasn't always the same ruse. The “princess in distress” scheme could only work if she did research into a good back-story. She'd met Oki once, when she was a little girl. Sesshomaru had taken her there to see the kappa, and to learn how to swim. The water demon did in fact have a daughter, and she was very ugly, by even demon standards. But she had inherited her father's distaste for wandering beyond the boundaries of the house, except to swim in the open ocean. The lady of the house had died inelegantly of a parasite common to fresh-water fish in the area the family used to live. After the funeral rites were performed, the father and infant daughter disappeared into anonymity, to live and die happily ever after.

 

Oki-sama was a loyal vassal of the Eastern Lands. But he had lived within the boundaries of the Western Lands with his wife, and had been a loyal vassal to Sesshomaru's honorable father. In essence, allegiances meant little to him; as long as he kept his nose clean, no one cared to bother him. When the dog demon and his little human ward showed up for a visit, he opened the door without prejudice and served them tea, like he would anybody. This meant that he did not go out of his way to treat his guest like the high ranking noble he was, though. Sesshomaru didn't mind; this trip was not about him anyway. They stayed for two days, so Rin could learn how to swim from the demon's daughter. It was a happy childhood memory for Rin, and Sesshomaru could have peace of mind whenever she went to take a bath in deep or moving water. They left, neither party any more impressed with the other.

 

Rin dunked her head under the water and let the heat sting her face and scalp. It was a good hurt, and she needed it. She'd never feel completely clean unless she did it. It was because she felt especially dirty, remembering the demon's hand on her back and face, that she worried so. In her mind, he was pawing at her, pressing his bare chest against her and smothering her with his musk. Frantically, Rin rubbed her skin raw under the water with the pumice stone, trying to erase the night before. Her pores opened and her skin practically sizzled. Pain was something she learned to tolerate, and even welcome, living under Sesshomaru's care for so long.

 

Surfacing, Rin grabbed her soap and lathered her hair. Normally, she would use an unscented soap made primarily from milk and beeswax. Smelling like nothing was how she managed to walk amongst demons unnoticed or ignored. But today, she didn't have to go to work. Today, she got to use her favorite cherry soap. She'd made it from the fruit when it dropped from the tree in the garden, along with the usual milk and beeswax. It was okay because Totosai knew her, but through the smelt and smoke in his forge he wouldn't be able to smell her anyway. She could smell pretty for herself.

 

Suddenly, she regretted the outfit she had picked out for the journey. Her outer kimono was a drab brown, with a yellow obi, which was alright for someone who didn't smell like cherries. But for someone who did smell like cherries, and Rin did, she needed something in pink. Cataloguing her wardrobe in her mind, Rin searched for a suitable substitute for her current outfit. She did have a red robe, with vertical pink stripes that started at her shoulders and went down her front and back. It wasn't too fancy either, considering that the red part was made from linen, while the pink stripes were silk. A nice white obi, and she'd have the perfect “person who smells like cherries” outfit.

 

Once she had rinsed her hair, and swam around in the warm water for a few extra minutes, Rin climbed out onto the wooden platform and wrung her long hair out to dry. People whose hair smells like cherries should wear their hair down, she decided. A red ribbon to tie it back would have her looking perfect. Yanking the bamboo scraper from off the shelf, she hastily flicked any remaining moisture from her skin, before throwing on her white yukata and leaving. Carrying her old outfit, she made a dash for the house, hoping that not too many people would see her running around in her under-robe, while carrying perfectly good clothes.

 

Jakken was too many people today.

 

The toad covered his eyes and began squawking. “What do you think you're doing running around like that?” he yelled. “Your indecency burns this Jakken's eyes out!”

 

Rin sniggered. “You've seen worse, old man,” she teased, ducking into her room and closing the door behind her. Jakken had stopped guarding Rin when she bathed outdoors when she was twelve, and that was only because she had learned to use a sword by then.

 

Among other things.

 

Her room was in the same wing as Sesshomaru's, though not on the same hall. When she was a child, she had slept in the small room adjoining the master's expansive bedchamber, for both convenience and protection. Adolescence moved her across the hall, and adult-hood to her own corridor. Each move gave her a bigger room; Rin was immensely pleased when she first moved into her present quarters. It was almost like having a little house all to herself within a corner of the palace. Still, she had spent little time in her bedroom other than to sleep lately. Before a mission, the majority of her time was spent in the dojo, training.

 

Rin threw her old clothes on the bed, noting that she needed to clean them up later. She needed to clean a lot up later, she realized dryly, looking about her room. She had never been fond of putting clothes away. Thankfully, she hadn't worn the new outfit she had in mind for awhile, so it was still neatly folded and unwrinkled in her drawer.

 

Much to the girl's chagrin, it had been a little too long since she'd last worn this particular kimono. While the length went properly down to her ankles, she hadn't been as busty when she first had it made. It wasn't obscene, but it was uncomfortable smashing everything in. Not that there was much to smash, but what she had to smash was enough. Geta sandals would be best on her feet; anything that kept her away from the heat was always nice. Grabbing her red hair ribbon, she clenched it in her teeth while gathering her hair back to the base of her neck. In the mirror, she thought she looked rather nice with the red on her mouth. Once her hair was secured, she brushed on some of her red paint to her lower lip, then stood back to admire the results. All in all, she looked rather dressed up for someone who was going to a forge. But it felt good, and she needed to feel good today. Yes, today would be a good day. Rubbing the pearl at her neck in a silent prayer for luck, she trotted out to meet her traveling companions.

 

Sesshomaru was holding the reins to an anxious two-headed dragon. Aun was often neglected in favor of Kado for Rin's travels, but today, only demons and dragons could get to the place they were going swiftly. Both Ah and Un were growling impatiently, eager to be going on a trip again.

 

The girl skidded to a stop right in front of Sesshomaru. “I'm ready!” she cheerfully declared, throwing up her arms.

 

“What in the depths of hell are you wearing you stupid girl?” Jakken gasped.

 

“I feel pretty today,” Rin sang, knocking her head back and forth like a bell.

 

The toad grinned smugly. “Got a thing for the old man, I see,” he cackled. “I'm sure you'd make him a pretty little wi—hey let—get off of me!”

 

Rin had wanted to stomp on his head, but then she remembered her geta so she firmly stepped on his torso, and stood for a minute watching the imp struggle. She knew without being patronized that she was overdressed. She just hoped no one else would notice.

 

“Let's go,” Sesshomaru barked.

 

Rin released her prisoner from under her foot and looked to her lord. His back was turned, and he was radiating absolute impatience. She felt silly, all of a sudden. Of course this trip was an inconvenience to him. Of course he didn't want to see the smelly old codger who wouldn't make him a sword. He needed to be in his board room, reviewing maps and treaties and seeing diplomats. With the heir to the Eastern Lands dead, he stood to profit a great deal. And the messenger who just happened to be visiting from the South made it all the more easier; the blame could easily be placed on the Southern Lord, and an alliance with the East against the South could be signed, in exchange for a good piece of land naturally. He was building his empire. And today, he was taking time off from his empire to take his girl-child to have a necklace made.

 

Rin felt unbelievably big, and small at the same time.

 

Quietly, she hefted herself onto the dragon and sat properly in the saddle. Before Sesshomaru taught Rin how to kill, he taught her how to be a lady. Today, she would be on her best behavior. Provided, of course, that Jakken kept his mouth shut.

 

The trip took approximately two hours, though it would take many days if it was journeyed by foot. Flying was something Rin enjoyed, and Aun was always a good mount. He never once gave her any reason to think she might fall, and so it was because of that she never had a fear of heights. Jakken was clinging to the fur pelt Sesshomaru carried, as he flew beside them on a cloud of his own youki. It had taken him awhile to relinquish the reins, and he seemed to tug urgently at the dragon as he flew ahead. But after a spell, he fell back and handed the straps over to Rin, letting her govern the course of her ride. He was in a hurry, she could tell, so she did her best to keep up without over-tiring Aun.

 

The four of them set down just outside the gaping maw of Totosai's forge. Aun was given a sound smack to the withers, and he frolicked off to find Momo, the sword-smith's three eyed cow. The lord, the retainer, and the ward stepped inside the forge.

 

They found him sound asleep, head rested on an anvil while his body slumped over to the floor. His hand still held a hammer, and whatever he'd been working on had fallen to the wayside.

 

Rin saw from the corner of her eye that Jakken was getting ready to make some self-important speech, about how dare the old man be sleeping when Sess-sho-maru-sama was visiting. She was in no mood for that, and she was sure the smithy was never in any mood for it.

 

“Ojii-sama,” she chirped pleasantly, cutting Jakken off before he opened his mouth.

 

The elderly demon startled, and popped his impossibly large eyes open to see what had woken him up so sweetly. Naturally, he was quite happy to see Rin. The puppy/frog he could do without.

 

“Rin-chan!” he yawned. Stretching his arms above his head to shake the sleep from his muscles, he dropped the hammer and rose to his feet. Then he held his open arms out in front, signaling Rin to come in for a hug. She cheerfully obliged.

 

“You look so nice today,” he complimented. “Is it my birthday?” He looked about for any cues to the occasion.

 

Rin giggled. “No, Ojii-sama, I just felt like looking pretty today.” Embarrassed with her admission, Rin blushed and made a mental note to avoid eye-contact with Sesshomaru for the rest of the day. She was quite certain he might laugh at her.

 

The sword-smith shrugged. “You're pretty everyday,” he croaked, scratching his head, “so I don't know why you're making a big deal of it for me. Still, these old eyes do appreciate it.” He chuckled warmly, and petted the girl on her back.

 

Rin blushed again. Avoid eye-contact with Sesshomaru tomorrow too, just for good measure.

 

“Why are you here?” Totosai groaned.

 

“Well, I need---”

 

“Not you,” the old man laughed, patting Rin on the shoulder. He pointed to Sesshomaru. “You.”

 

The dog demon sniffed haughtily. “This Sesshomaru is here on behalf of his ward, and nothing else.”

 

Totosai smiled smugly. “Just making sure.”

 

As if the air had suddenly turned putrid with distrust, Sesshomaru pivoted on his heel and was outside of the cave in but two blinks of an eye. Jakken, of course, was swiftly tagging along, stumbling occasionally.

 

“Hrumph,” the geezer grunted. “Insolent pup. Never respected his elders, you know.” He turned to Rin. “I don't know how you put up with him for so long, in all honesty.”

 

“I put up with him just fine,” Rin defended. She wasn't about to go all humble and insist that it was in fact him that put up with her. She found him to be a royal pain from time to time, and she wasn't about to lie. But it didn't make her any less grateful, or any less indebted to him for everything that she had and was.

 

Carefully, Rin untied the silk cord from around her neck and caught the pearl in her right hand. Despite the fire and brimstone of the place, the pearl remained cold to the touch. She was going to be a nervous wreck once she handed it over to the smithy; any prolonged absence, she had discovered, weakened her body. But once she got it back, it would never have to leave her again.

 

“I need this set into a collar,” she instructed, holding out her precious bauble. “I want the collar to be silver, and fitted around my neck so it can never be taken off.”

 

Totosai picked up the object in question and closed one eye, looking the little white sphere over. It was as if he was considering something deep and demanding, and if only he stared at the pearl long enough he would find the answer. There was the strangest aura about this object that had him completely mesmerized. It wasn't demonic, but it was powerful, something told him, if you knew how to use it.

 

“What type now?” he mumbled, having totally forgotten what the girl had just said.

 

Rin shook her head and smiled wearily. He was centuries upon centuries old, and yet Totosai seemed to have the attention span of a toddler. “Fit it into a silver collar, and make it so the collar can never be taken off.”

 

“Why would you want that?” the old man asked, horrified.

 

“Please,” Rin begged, hands clasped in front of her. “This is a very important trinket to me. I don't want to lose it. Please.” Her lower lip pouted out, and she knew full well that no man could resist that face. It was a finely crafted mask she had practiced shaping hours upon hours in front of a mirror. She'd used it once on Sesshomaru to test its true abilities. He cleared his throat, and not much else; but he did end up giving her what she had been asking for, even though he didn't look to be moved by her pleas.

 

The smithy tossed the pearl up into the air and caught it. Rin felt her heart jump into her throat, then fall through her skin and onto the floor.

 

“I'll have it done in an hour,” he gleefully declared. “I'll be callin' you when it's ready.” He turned to walk away, but quickly swiveled back and clutched his hands about Rin's neck in a choke hold. Carefully, he unhinged his grasp and walked over to his table, looking through the circle his fingers made. Rin shakily stepped outside.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Sesshomaru decided that it was a rather garish fashion statement, but the girl seemed happy with the outcome.

 

The hair on the back of his neck bristled when the old man clasped the heated silver around Rin's nape and tapped it together. The smell of burning flesh was something that Sesshomaru could have done without, and he wasn't sure the end product was worth it. It looked like a fancy slave's neck cuff. The imagery wasn't lost on him, and for the rest of the way home he couldn't bring himself to look at her.

 

She didn't regret…anything, did she?

 

It had been a mutual decision, in the eve of Naraku's destruction. He was set in returning to his empire. She was ten, and after four years of traveling with the demon, knew little of life with anyone else. So he proposed two options to the child: stay with him as a servant in his house, or stay with him as…something else.

 

Her devotion never ceased to amaze him. Everything short of beating her himself, she had suffered a great deal from traveling in his company. She had been kidnapped, twice by Naraku's underlings and once by a random demon. She was ridiculed in every village she passed through in search of food. She was targeted endlessly by rouge demons during their travels. She deserved better.

 

She chose the second option.

 

So, the great and powerful demon Lord of the Western Lands took his girl-child home to his palace, and worked on devising a place for her within his empire.

 

He couldn't name the exact moment she became indispensable. Her faith in his abilities was unending. Her dependence on his strength was endearing. Her laughter was addicting. Sesshomaru did not know how the child had become a staple in his life; he only knew that he felt happy when she had followed him on that fateful day in the forest. He hadn't been happy with much of anything, besides his new sword, in years. She became the lesson his honored father wanted him to learn, so he listened well.

 

There were times that he wondered if he'd misinterpreted her from the beginning.

 

It was only a year after she had moved into the shiro that Rin expressed a desire to learn basic sword-play. It was something she could do with someone else, and wouldn't be turned down if she asked for it; after all, she was quite lonely. In the house of a bachelor lord, soldiers and generals swarmed about in hopes that some kind of war would be declared to keep them busy. Sesshomaru had every interest in gaining as much power and land as he could. He was never the defender, and always the invader. When Rin came to him, sword in hand, he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. It became glaringly apparent to him for the first time that she was a female, looking at her holding a weapon. Gender really hadn't concerned him previously; she was a human, she was Rin, and she was his. That was all that mattered. Now, he realized that she was fast growing into a woman, and wanted to learn how to play with the boys. As improper as it was for Sesshomaru to have a human trotting after him, it would be even more improper to have that human acting out of place. She would learn to be a lady first. Then she could learn how to use a sword.

 

Her teacher was the wife of his eldest general. After having fought in exactly 1107 battles, and commanding 901 of them in his life, the dog demon Kyoshii decided he might try raising some kids for the heck of it. It turned out he was not capable of providing himself with offspring, but he and his wife Takako lived happily, taking in the younger soldiers as their children instead. When Rin was brought to Takako-san's house to be given tutelage, the demon woman nearly squealed in delight. The girl became a surrogate daughter, and even now Rin was still quite close with her teacher.

 

Rin learned how to dress properly. She learned how to wear regal clothes with humility, and simple clothes with haughtiness. She learned how to eat, and how to serve food. She learned how to read and write a little, or at least that was the impression Sesshomaru was given. Women of the day were not permitted to write much more than their name, or read much else besides poetry. The two females would often meet secretly in the evening and read together almost anything they could get their hands on. It didn't matter if it was interesting or not; it was exciting if they could understand it at all. Rin also learned to sing and dance, both of which she had a natural talent for. It had been astonishing to Sesshomaru when his little urchin appeared before him as a lady of fine standing, a truly remarkable transformation indeed.

 

That is, until she lost her temper from her sleeves getting in the way and knocked a few teacups off the table. General Kyoshii said he had never laughed so hard in his life, watching the girl's frustration with her clothing. She did put up quite a fight. But it was impressive after that too, once she calmed down. In fact, it was impressive that she calmed down at all. Sesshomaru had known her to go into crying fits for hours over things that frustrated her, or made her feel helpless. That was where the swords came in.

 

After a year with Takako-san, Rin “graduated” to the dojo, where she trained under General Katsuro, the Western Lands' youngest and most promising commanding officer. The young dog demon was recommended by General Kyoshii, well-liked by his peers, and even better liked by the women. It was for that reason that Sesshomaru had been hesitant in turning Rin over into the young general's care, but Katsuro assured his lord that he found the little human to be most repugnant looking. Sesshomaru pretended to believe it, and kept a close eye on the two anyway. Rin spent a year in intense training at the dojo, and afterwards continued to practice several times a week. Katsuro was her most frequent and favorite sparring partner, but she was never one to turn down a challenge from others. She was a favorite face among the men, often telling them stories and jokes like a true soldier. Rin had been known to make even the swarthiest among them blush.

 

And now, she was 18 and still keeping company with her beloved lord. Twelve years. In twelve years, he had seen her become an entirely different person, but still remain the same at the core. She grew taller, rounder, louder then quieter, stronger, faster, smarter, deadlier, and…lovelier.

 

The dog demon looked to his ward now, and found her in a pensive pose. Her cheeks were flushed—she was embarrassed about something—but her eyes were frozen open and deep in thought. She did look pretty today, even if it seemed silly and unnecessary for her to dress up like she did to visit the forge. Whatever had motivated her to do this was beyond Sesshomaru's realm of reason. But he was still glad she did. She still had the fierce spark in her eyes that was present in her childhood, but now there was wisdom behind it. Rin was a force to be reckoned with.

 

Sometimes, he needed to be reminded that she was once a little girl at all.

 

~*~

 

Totosai waved to the girl as she left. There was something strange about her, that he couldn't quite place. Since he'd last seen her, she'd changed, but he couldn't exactly name what about her was different. Heck, it was even a little disturbing. As much as his eyes and his memory told him she was human, his senses told him she was not.

 

The old geezer made a mental note to ask about it the next time she came. He then made a mental note to not make mental notes, because he always forgot them. Turning around and walking back inside, he decided to take a nap; he'd needed one all day.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

There were two things in the world that Rin loved doing above all else. The first was picking flowers, which she had just finished doing. The second, which she was now doing, was riding her horse.

 

Kado had been her thirteenth birthday present. She hadn't asked for anything, and had never thought herself to need a horse, but now she couldn't imagine life without him. He was a proper horse and not a stubby pony like the Chinese rode and called a horse. Of course, having been the ward of a wealthy and powerful nobleman for close to a decade, she knew to expect nothing less from her lord than perfect. General Katsuro helped her break the 2-year old gelding, claiming it wouldn't be proper to have her gallivanting about on a “broad broke” horse. Together they also worked on training Kado to spook at nothing. After many months and countless carrots, Rin had in her possession one of the finest war-horses in all the Western Lands. She also had her first best friend.

 

It was almost silly to consider, but Rin felt a unique bond with the animal that was beyond what words could describe. She could tell him anything, and felt like he would listen to her every word. He almost talked back to her, with much of his body language. If she told him a bad joke, he would always nibble at her hair. When she cried, he would put his soft nose against her cheek and hold still. Her anger always riled him up, along with her excitement, as if he was on the exact same vein of emotion. Kado was her partner, and as a team they were unstoppable.

 

Rin hadn't felt much like changing when she got home. After all the effort she'd put into her outfit, it seemed a shame to go and take it off. So, when no one was looking, she led Kado out of his paddock by the bridle, hitched up her kimono, and jumped on the horse to ride into the sunset. When she'd gotten to a field where the sun was still shining brightly, she'd picked flowers until dusk, and decided it was time to race the darkness home.

 

The grass pollen stung her legs. Rin knew she could have been smarter about this whole spontaneous excursion. Experience had shown her that her skin would itch for hours, and she could have prevented it if she'd just worn pants, but then where would the spontaneity be? Quit whining, she chided herself, and enjoy your day off. Tomorrow, and for the rest of the week, she would be in the dojo. Then it was back on the road. Her next target would be the commanding general of the Eastern armies. She'd get the full story on what was expected of her in the morning, but from what little she knew of this demon, it was looking to be another “close-call” type.

 

She stopped the horse a stone's throw away from the first of the three walls guarding the palace. Home. Knowing very well she couldn't ride in looking as she did, but not really wanting to go inside just yet, Rin dismounted and sat in the grass. Digging her nails into her legs, she raked up and down a few times, then left them alone in hopes that the itching would stop. It didn't, but she could at least ignore it. The weather had been so nice; outside of the awkward silences, the journey that morning had been most pleasant. It looked like it was going to be hot tomorrow, for already the newly fallen night was muggy. Kado contented himself to munching on grass while his mistress seemingly pondered the secrets of the universe. For all she knew, the horse was laughing at her, as she sat in the grass that made her itch, with her kimono hiked up her thighs and her hair frizzed from the wind. As if to prove her sentiment true, Kado snorted loudly.

 

Then he snorted again, and jerked his body away from Rin, as if the grass was suddenly sweeter over there. Rin sighed. So.

 

“I know you're there,” she murmured lightly.

 

Kado whinnied.

 

Crossing her arms over her up-drawn knees, Rin huffed indignantly. “Fine, don't acknowledge me! I just wanted you to know you weren't fooling anyone!”

 

The breeze tickled through the grass. A cricket began singing his love-song for his yet to be found mate. For a time, Rin was content to sit and listen to the sounds of the night. It had been so long since she had been able to just sit still and listen to something that wasn't a lecture, or a debriefing, or shallow, or screaming. Something pleasant. But, at the same time, she was lonely, and a conversation was starting to look pretty comforting. Even if it was going to be with herself.

 

“Thank you, for today,” she gushed awkwardly. Her hand automatically went to her throat, where she petted over her new collar, lingering over the pearl before letting her hand fall to her side once more. “I know you don't like it, but I do. It means a lot that you did it, for me, so thanks.” Rin laughed nervously, desperate to say anything else besides “thank you.” Besides, this wasn't the best thing to be discussing with him; he was probably still feeling sore about the trip. Clearing her throat, she smoothly began a new topic.

 

“I was thinking, on the way home, about that demon I killed,” she confessed. Stretching out her legs in front of her body, she leaned back onto her hands and looked to the stars. “What a piece of work, I tell ya. That little shit thought he was something special.” She laughed. “I suppose he was, to somebody. And that's what I was thinkin' about. I go around killing somebody's somebody, but what if I get killed? I mean, I know I probably won't get killed, seeing as it's pretty impossible with how well-trained I am and all,” she joked. No laugh in return. Not even Kado had anything to say about it. Rin sighed, discouraged, but still continued talking.

 

“I said to myself, I said, `Rin, who would miss you if you die?' And I said back to myself, I said, `Self, Kado would'. But then I said back, I said, `But Rin, Kado would only miss you feeding him'.” The girl snickered at her own joke and tossed her head side-long to look to the horse in question. He swished his tail and shook his head, but didn't stop eating. Exasperated, Rin flopped onto her back and stretched her hands above her head. One bare knee wobbled about, while the other leg lay straight and stiff against the ground. Experimentally, Rin lifted the elevated leg so her foot was up in the air. She tried to find an outline of stars that would fit it. It had happened before, but she just had to be patient.

 

“That's a pretty depressing conversation, to have all on one's lonesome,” she commented dryly, resuming her original train of thought. Her voice wavered whenever her foot wobbled too much, but she didn't stop searching for her proper outline. “And I know the answer too. Not very many people would miss me, if anyone at all. But it's because I'm not that close to anyone, you know?” She suddenly remembered who she was talking to. Rin snorted. “Of course you do.”

 

Rin had hoped the insult, or even the self-depreciating speech would garner a sniff, or grunt, or any sound. Still nothing. He really must not be in a good mood tonight. The trip to the forge must have gotten to him more than she had initially thought. Breakfast was looking like it was going to be much of the same. Great.

 

“Look,” she grunted, giving up on the star search and sitting up. She threw her head backwards so that her hair wove in and out of the grass. Absently, she realized that she must look rather childish in her sloppily worn kimono, but it wasn't something she really cared to care about. She could be indecent on her own free time, if she wanted. “I don't regret my life. I really don't. I love being here, I love my job, and I love…” You, she thought. She bit her lip and tried again. “I love the way things are. But, for all that I do, I'm not close to anyone, and kissing that demon last night reminded me of it quite bluntly.”

 

At this remark, she flipped over, eager to see if that had managed to get some kind of reaction. Only darkness greeted her. Maybe he was ignoring her. Maybe he'd left. Maybe he'd never been there to begin with. It didn't really matter now.

 

She sighed and cradled her chin on her hands, propped on her elbows. “I just…want…I don't know what the hell I want!” Rin fell on her face in the grass and laughed, rolling over and over a few times. When she was right-side up, she wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and settled down. Idly, she brushed her fingertips over the pearl now welded around her throat. I have all the time in the world to figure out what I want, she realized grimly. All the time I've ever wanted, and you won't give me the time of day.

 

“I have a purpose,” she sagely concluded, “and I can do what I love and love what I do. I just want something else.” The girl neatly folded her hands on her chest, not bothering to wipe away the tear pooling in her right eye. She let it fall, then whispered, “You have your empire. I want something that's mine. Something that makes it all worth it.”

 

In this concluding silence, Rin realized that an entire cricket concert was in swing, and well into the ninth concerto of the program. If she didn't duck out now, it would seem rude. Whistling brought Kado back over, and she used his bulk to help pull herself upright. Not bothering to fix her clothes, she just let them fall back into place as she walked. When she got to the gate, she stopped and looked up at the moon. A pearl-white crescent smiled down at her, or maybe winked. She wasn't sure. She would journey back east on the new moon.

 

“Thanks for listening,” she whispered, then opened the gate and passed through the outermost wall of the fortress.

 

When he knew she was well in her bed, Sesshomaru sighed gently, daring to lean over the wall and look out over his darkened kingdom. He…wasn't much of a talker. Never had been, and never planned on becoming one. But, with Rin, there were moments where he wanted to say something. It didn't matter what.

 

It wasn't as if he ignored her; that had never been the case. He was fascinated with her. He'd laughed at some of her jokes, if they weren't filthy or about him. He'd fought with her, shouted at her even, and she stood her ground against him shouting right back. She was a little girl, unafraid of demons, unafraid of her future, and unafraid of forever. And, by some twist of the fates, she was his, and would always be his. He'd never planned on something like this, nor thought he would ever want it. But he had it, and he did.

 

It just felt right.

 

He'd hoped Rin would be happy with her new life, but her happiness no longer consisted of simple pleasures like making daisy chains. She was exactly what he'd made her into, and it was no fault but his own. She murdered, and while she had been murdered, the scale would never balance for her. She said she was scared for her life, but he knew she was scared for her soul.

 

Sesshomaru listened outside her door before he went to bed himself, just to see if she was sleeping. He could hear Rin's shallow breathing and slowed heartbeat through the walls. He imagined he could even hear her dreaming. Sadly, he realized that dreams were one more thing he couldn't give her.

 

As his eyes closed, he heard her voice in the woods, calling for him once more.

 

“I want to be with Sesshomaru-sama forever!” she'd demanded.

 

Sesshomaru could not understand why.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Naraku seldom fought his own battles. He first created bunshin: Kanna, Kagura, and others. But only the first two were strong enough, and smart enough, to survive. When he went into hiding inside Mt. Hakueri, he enlisted the help of the resurrected Shichinintai—the Seven Man Army. Sesshomaru fought with three of them: Mukotsu, Jakotsu, and Suikotsu.

 

It was actually Suikotsu who was the inspiration for the pearl.

 

He had been shot in the neck by a purifying arrow. The miko Kikyou, whom Sesshomaru recognized as the one who had sealed Inuyasha, was hesitant to finish Suikotsu off. Rin stood quietly by her lord's side, watching the exchange. If it had not been for the miko, she would be dead. There was no way Sesshomaru-sama could have made it to her in time, though he tried. And now justice was ready to be dispensed. The man was begging for death. He wanted to be released from his torturous life, while he was still had a chance to be redeemed. Rin was anxious. This man had tried to harm her, even coming close to killing her. But she had never had a vengeful spirit, and wondered if the miko could save him.

 

Before anyone could react, Jakotsu put an end to it all by slicing through Suikotsu's neck, and ripping out the Shikon shard that maintained his life. Without the power of the sacred jewel, his skin turned to dust, and crumbled to reveal nothing but bones.

 

Rin screamed.

 

Sesshomaru felt uneasy. This was the fate of all humans, he realized anew. They would crumble to dust and bones, and be forgotten. Rin had been in his care for almost a year; already she had grown two inches. She would grow up before he knew it, and she would be dead before he would realize. She…was fated to one day leave him.

 

“Thank you, miko-sama,” Rin said, bowing shakily to Kikyou.

 

“Rin,” Sesshomaru snapped, “we're going!”

 

And, like always, she followed. One day, he would call to her and she would not be there. One day, he would look to hear her laugh and only hear echoes of a ghost. She was leaving him just as fast as she was following him.

 

He was scared. For the very first time in his life, he felt afraid and lonely. And it was all at the thought of losing his little Rin. It was humiliating. He had to put a stop to it.

 

Stopping suddenly in his tracks, he bent to the balls of his feet and swiveled to face the girl. Placing his large hand over her tiny shoulder, he sternly looked her in the eyes. “You don't have to do that,” he said gruffly.

 

“Do…what?” Rin stammered, quite confused by her master's uncharacteristic behavior.

 

“Follow this Sesshomaru,” he stated. “You don't have to do that.”

 

Rin smiled shyly. “I know,” she said.

 

He watched her, waiting for a sign. He could let her go now, if she wanted. He should let her go now, before it became too difficult for them both. She had almost died today; had he lost her, he'd have…been sad. Surely, after all this danger, after nearly having been killed, the girl would choose to leave. No human could be happy under these conditions. She would leave, and then he would not have to watch her die. He would never be plagued with these troubling emotions again.

 

Sesshomaru gasped as something cold touched the back of his hand. Jerking his head, he saw that Rin had placed one of her tiny hands on top of his own huge paw. Her skin was cold, probably due to the mountain air and the fright she'd just had. Rin giggled and Sesshomaru watched as she wrapped her entire hand around his middle finger, then squeezed.

 

“Rin wants to follow Sesshomaru-sama,” she stated matter-of-factly. She set her jaw and nodded her head, as if she was challenging him to dispute it.

 

The demon swallowed. Slowly, he lifted his hand up, giving her time to release her grasp. Then, being mindful of his claws, he cupped the side of the child's face in his palm. Absently, he stroked at her temple with his thumb, and she sighed and nuzzled into his touch. I'm yours, remember? she seemed to be reminding him. I will always be yours.

 

There had to be a way.

 

Moving his hand, the demon patted the little girl on her head before he stood up and turned around. “Let's go,” he commanded, and with a cheerful shout she was at his heels once more.

 

He would find a way, so she wouldn't have to die.

 

~*~

 

It took him years to devise a plan. What he needed was something like the Shikon no Tama, that wasn't an entity in and of itself. He needed something of Rin in it, to keep her from losing herself to whatever magic a sacred jewel held. The battle with Naraku in his honored father's grave provided him with a means to an end: Housenki.

 

Housenki had been a demon famed for crafting magic jewels. He had provided Inuyasha with the black pearl that resided in his eye, and held the gateway to his father's tomb. Housenki himself had died and taken up residence in said tomb, guarding it from any intruders. His son now ran the family business, under the same name. After Naraku had been killed, Sesshomaru decided to pay the demon a visit.

 

Rin came with him. From the beginning she knew it was a special trip, because Jakken stayed behind. She got to be carried by Sesshomaru-sama; just the two of them on an outing together. Rin couldn't stop smiling the whole way. Sesshomaru took this as further confirmation in his decision. This was the right thing for him to do. It would make him happy. It would make her happy, too.

 

He hoped.

 

She was absolutely thrilled to see the giant clam he lived in rise from the lake, then open to reveal the demon craftsman inside. Housenki was large and bulky, but did not look particularly threatening. With green skin and bulbous yellow eyes, he reminded Rin of Jakken somewhat. Knowing full well that she had come with Sesshomaru-sama so he could ask a favor on her part, she made a chain of daisies as long as Sesshomaru was tall in advance for thanks. The demon Housenki, who did not get out much, was instantly taken by the girl who took it upon herself to make a gift for him. Rin was just as tickled as she watched him drape it around and around his antlers, until he looked to have a giant crown of flowers. He was much more fun than Jakken, Rin decided. She was about to climb on his back, but Sesshomaru called her to his side, afraid that Housenki might not want to let the girl go, especially considering what he was about to ask of him.

 

“This Sesshomaru requires your services on behalf of this girl,” he instructed sternly. “A jewel is needed, that would somehow prevent her from dying, yet not leave her as a soulless doll.”

 

Housenki frowned. “I am still very new at all of this, Sesshomaru-sama,” he explained, rubbing the back of his bare head. “Were my father still here, I would---”

 

“This Sesshomaru has every faith in your capabilities,” the dog demon interrupted. “I will provide you with whatever means necessary in order to accomplish this task.”

 

The craftsman blinked his large, yellow eyes slowly, mulling over his options. “It will take some time,” he warned. “Granted, it will not take the centuries needed to craft some of my other jewels, but it will probably take a few years.” He shrugged. “Two, three maybe. And that's if I get it right on the first try.”

 

“This Sesshomaru will then see to it that you will not fail,” the dog demon casually threatened. Housenki laughed nervously, and the matter seemed to be understood and resolved. Having straightened that out, other topics could be discussed. “What in the manner of supplies will you be needing?” Sesshomaru asked.

 

“Nothing that is not already available to me at this point,” the demon jeweler replied confidently. “Eventually I will need you to bring the girl back, to add the finishing touches.”

 

“Rin gets to see you again?” Rin cried jubilantly. Throughout the entire exchanged she had remained silent as she knelt by her master's side. But she just couldn't help herself. Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow at the girl. She blushed and covered her mouth with her hand. He had instructed her, countless times, on speaking out when he was conversing with other demons. Her precociousness would not always be seen as charming. Luckily, Housenki seemed to think it was.

 

“I'll have your present made in no time!” the jeweler exclaimed, clapping his large hands.

 

Sesshomaru stood, giving Rin the signal that it was time to go. She bowed politely, just as she'd been taught, then waited for her cue to follow.

 

“Send word when you are near finished,” Sesshomaru instructed slowly. Housenki nodded, understanding the unstated threat that, should he be too long in sending a reply, Sesshomaru himself would come looking for it. And he wouldn't want that to happen. Satisfied with the transaction, Sesshomaru turned and walked away.

 

“Bye, Housenki-sama!” Rin cried, waving an arm as she trotted after her master. “Rin will bring more flowers the next time!”

 

And with that, the clam closed and descended once more into the depths of the lake.

 

“Rin,” Sesshomaru requested, “tell me, how much of that did you understand?”

 

The girl grew excited, and danced around him as she talked. “Sesshomaru-sama is making Rin a present so she can live with him forever!”

 

“Is that…agreeable with you?” he reluctantly asked. He'd never thought to ask her to begin with. She was the one who had first insisted on being with him forever; technically it was her idea he was acting upon. While he was sure she would say yes, he did not know if she understood the implications of “forever.” It wouldn't change his mind in the end, no matter what her reply. He was too selfish to let her go now; she was his, indisputably.

 

Rin tugged on his right sleeve until she found his hand, then took it in her own. “I told you already, Sesshomaru,” the ten-year-old stated, dropping the honorific for the first time and referring to herself in first person. She was serious, and she wanted him to know it. He was about to scold her for referring to him so familiarly, when she interrupted him. “I want to stay with you, forever,” she explained, “because it would make me happy. But, what I'd like to know is, would it make you happy?”

 

The demon was taken aback. Had it actually come to this? Was he going to have to put into words his feelings for the girl? To admit he had feelings for her at all?

 

“Yes,” be blurted awkwardly. He quickly lifted his head and found the sky particularly interesting. Rin squeezed his hand, then let go.

 

“Just checking,” she sang. As if she'd known the answer all along.

 

~*~

 

Soon after Rin turned thirteen, Housenki sent word for them to return.

 

“It's a pearl!” Rin exclaimed, clapping her hands with delight. “It's a beautiful, beautiful pearl!”

 

“Thought she'd like it,” Housenki proudly beamed, antlers decorated once again with daisies. “Took me a few months extra, but it was worth it, I think.”

 

Sesshomaru scowled. “Pretty” and “functional” were two different things, and he was only concerned with the latter of the two.

 

“How does it work?” Rin asked, setting the pearl on the table and turning towards its maker.

 

Housenki smiled. “Ah, that's the tricky part,” he said, suddenly rushing to search through a box of tools. He found one and quickly hid it up his sleeve, before returning back to where Rin stood. “It still needs a piece of you in it, to work,” he explained.

 

“A piece of me?” she asked dubiously.

 

Housenki nodded. Gently, he reached out and grasped the girl's arm in one hand. “Hold still,” he instructed. His other hand rose up, revealing a dagger to be up his sleeve. Rin shrieked.

 

In seconds the jeweler had released the girl, and was dangling from the air, struggling to breathe in the grip of the Western Lord.

 

“Please!” he begged. “I didn't mean to scare her!” He coughed as the fingers steadily tightened. “It's all part…of the process! I need…her soul for it to…work.”

 

“Then find another way!” Sesshomaru shouted angrily. He could hear Rin still trembling, but sensed that no real harm had come to her. He squeezed harder, enraged that this creature had dared to raise a hand against his Rin.

 

“There is no other way!” Housenki gasped, clawing at his neck for a reprieve. “I…can explain…if you just…let go!”

 

Rin had stood up and was hiding somewhat behind Sesshomaru. Satisfied that she would be safe and in his reach, the dog demon sneered as he tossed his prey to the floor. “Quickly,” he barked.

 

The jeweler hacked and wheezed air in and out of his lungs, trying to combat the dizziness he was feeling. Flowers were falling all over the place, and he shook his head a few times to be completely rid of them.

 

Stumbling to his feet, he rubbed his sore neck and cleared his throat. His voice came out in a heavy breath. “Her soul will be removed, with your help of course. It was so easy, once I realized that you still carried the Tenseiga with you,” he said, smiling proudly. “She dies, and at the exact moment you revive her, I will extract her soul and place it in the pearl, which should be worn on her person at all times. It will be a living soul, free from any enchantment that would taint it. There should be no change in her appearance, demeanor, or physicality whatsoever. As long as no harm comes to the pearl, then no harm shall come to her.”

 

“What does that mean?” Sesshomaru growled.

 

“It means,” Housenki explained excitedly, “she'll slowly stop aging, and live forever. Or, at least as long as the pearl stays intact. It will have to be kept safe.” The demon picked up his creation and held it up for Sesshomaru's inspection. “Think of it,” he grinned triumphantly, “she'll still be as she is now. Not an animated corpse, but a living body that is still tied to a soul. Just in a different location. She won't have to sacrifice anything.”

 

Sesshomaru took the pearl into his hand. This was exactly what he'd had in mind; in essence, granting her the longevity and immunity that came naturally to a demon. But she would still be human. She would still be Rin.

 

But in order for this to happen…

 

The girl had a hold on his empty sleeve, using it to hide her body from Housenki's view. She was still shaken up after being come at with a knife, and didn't seem too keen on having it happen again. Sesshomaru frowned. No. There had to be another way. He couldn't let her die again.

 

“As miraculous as this all sounds,” he calmly stated, “this Sesshomaru cannot willingly condone the process that is needed to bring it about.”

 

Housenki frowned. “But, I worked on other methods,” he begged, “I tried other jewels. This is the only one that I can get to work. And if it doesn't work, the Tenseiga can bring her back and we can try again. I assure you, she will not suffer needlessly.”

 

“She should not have to suffer at all,” Sesshomaru snarled.

 

“Try to understand, my lord,” the jeweler balked.

 

“There is nothing more to be said!” the dog demon roared.

 

“HEY!”

 

Startled, both demons turned to see Rin standing with her fists clenched determinedly. “Don't I get a say in this?” she snapped. “It's MY decision to make, and not yours.” Her eyes glared at Housenki, and then Sesshomaru, challenging either of them to try and say otherwise. “I know exactly what I'm doing with this, and I know what will happen if I do. I'm not a child anymore.”

 

The words pierced the dog demon's heart like a needle; the pain was ever so subtle, but precise. Sesshomaru straightened his posture, and calmly handed the pearl over to Rin. She cradled it in her palms, and seemed to become completely mesmerized by it. After a long moment of silence, she lifted her head and looked to her lord.

 

“You do it,” she mumbled.

 

Sesshomaru blinked.

 

Housenki's jaw dropped. “Excuse me?” he said incredulously.

 

“You do it,” Rin blurted louder, jabbing her hands towards Sesshomaru. “I don't want him to touch me.”

 

Housenki lowered his head sheepishly. Forgiveness was a pipe dream. A vision of himself, floating in the lake in tiny pieces flashed before his eyes; in the background of it all stood an enraged dog demon and a frightened child. He wiped the sweat from his brow, carrying away the remainder of the daisies.

 

Sesshomaru felt his head start to swim. Kill Rin? How could she ask that of him? He wouldn't even know how to go about doing it. In all his experience, he'd never once killed anyone keeping their personal comfort in mind. Even if it was quick, it had to be excruciatingly painful.

 

He found himself stammering like an idiot. “I…cannot. I wouldn't know…how to…without…”

 

“It's okay,” Rin cooed softly, placing her hand on his chest. Sesshomaru shuddered. She'd never touched him so intimately before, and it made him slightly uncomfortable. No, that wasn't right. Her touch was soothing; it was the situation that was uncomfortable. She was looking right at him, and he found it near impossible to keep eye-contact.

 

“You do it,” she repeated, “please. For me. For us.”

 

Us? There was an “us”? As in a collective sense, and not individual? As in, Sesshomaru and Rin, together forever? Wasn't that what he'd wanted all along? What she'd wanted, too? Yes. Would he be foolish enough to throw it away, on the eve of achieving their collective dream?

 

Maybe.

 

Sesshomaru held out his hand to his side, never taking his eyes off Rin. “Give me the dagger,” he asked Housenki calmly. The jewel-maker obliged with trembling hands, ever at the ready to make a run for it if the demon lord turned out to be merely joking. To Sesshomaru's embarrassment, his hands were shaking just as much as he took the tool into his own grasp.

 

Rin laughed dryly. She turned her back and walked slowly towards the demon, until she felt the resistance of his body stop her. Her whole body was shivering, but she managed to look directly up at him and smile. “Just like you taught me,” she quavered.

 

The demon lord placed his hand on top of the girl's head, exposing her neck. She closed her eyes, and before he could convince himself that what he was about to do was wrong, he slit her throat.

 

Rin let out a wet cough, and continued to make gurgling noises as she fell to the floor. Ah yes, I remember this, she thought darkly. Now she would fall face down in a steadily growing puddle of her own blood. Now she would feel her lungs start to fill with fluid, from having her esophagus cut. Now she would start to feel the cold stabbing through her body. It hurt like nothing else she had ever felt; it was kind of ironic to her, how she had spent her whole life working to see that she never felt this pain again. And here she was, doing just that, only for the purpose of never feeling that pain for a third time. She couldn't hear anything, and her vision was blurred with tears and blood. For a second, she thought she might be crying, until she tried to breathe and found that her lungs were completely useless. Now the darkness would start to fall. Now the fear would settle in.

 

She wanted to scream. She wanted to take it all back. It wasn't worth it! she'd cry out, and they would heal her right away. But the urge to fall asleep was overpowering her senses, and she was fighting tooth and nail against it. What if I don't wake up? What if Sesshomaru leaves me? The fear shot up her spine into her skull, rendering her completely void of thought. She could still feel; the pain was crushing her steadily into oblivion. Her body shuddered as the gaping maw of Death sealed around her, taking her away from him.

 

Forever, the voice threatened, rows of fangs glinting in an unholy light. She despaired, and died.

 

Sesshomaru jerked away and was coughing in dry heaves. The smell burned the tissues on the inside of his nose and made his eyes go dry. It was the worst thing any of his senses had ever taken in. His stomach was revolting against him, trying to empty itself with spastic jerks of revulsion from his gut. He was the fucking Lord of the fucking Western Lands and he was about to lose his lunch over a fucking little girl! That idea alone kept him in control somewhat, but he could not stop the nausea, cold sweat, and ache the smell was causing in him.

 

He looked to her, and then quickly had to look away again. Rin's flesh was bluish-gray, totally void of the familiar rosy stain that always colored her cheeks. Her blood was everywhere it seemed; her chestnut hair was practically soaking wet with it. It was just too much to take in.

 

The demon lord attempted to regain his composure. Quickly, he turned to Housenki and drew the Tenseiga. The jeweler was holding a clay pot painted with scribbles of words over every square inch. His hand was on the lid, and he looked as if he was ready to jump.

 

“This will work,” Sesshomaru gritted furiously. And if it doesn't, the growled in his mind, the gods themselves will have to avert their eyes in terror from what I will do to you.

 

Housenki gulped. “Ready?” he squeaked.

 

Sesshomaru nodded. Exhaling slowly, he set his stance and narrowed his eyes. Gradually, through a slight mist, the minions of the underworld appeared around Rin's body, preparing to bind her for the journey. How dare they touch her! His knuckles whitened with his grip on the sword, and he sliced through the mist in a powerful arc. The minions shrieked as they fell apart, crumbling back into the retreating fog. Satisfied, he re-sheathed the sword; Housenki was immediately crouched over the girl, holding the pot open. A brilliant white light flashed, and was quickly doused inside the depths of the clay vessel. The craftsman then darted over to the table where the pearl was sitting, anxious to complete the process.

 

Timidly, Sesshomaru bent to one knee, and scooped his arm under Rin. She was still covered in her own blood, but her body was warm. Her skin flared with color once more. Turning her over and bracing her against his leg, the wound on her neck had completely vanished.

 

Sesshomaru sighed, feeling whatever it was that had been clenching his heart release.

 

Rin was dizzy, and her head throbbed painfully when she felt her body being lifted upright. Her mind was muzzy; had she been asleep? Was the visit to Housenki merely a dream? No, she remembered, I died. A hand was rubbing light circles against her back. She smiled; it felt so nice. Blinking her eyes open, she saw Sesshomaru.

 

Hey, she thought, laughing, I remember this. Don't quite mind having to this part over.

 

He was looking at her with such intensity, she almost felt frightened. Had something gone wrong? Was she in some kind of danger? Frantically, she tried to stand, but found her limbs to be uncooperative. This was something new. Previously, when she had been revived the first time, she had no problem getting to her feet and walking within mere moments. Now she felt weak, and bogged down by some invisible weight.

 

She opened her mouth to say his name, and only breath came out.

 

“Oh good,” Housenki chirped, suddenly appearing in her field of vision. He paced to her side, where he squatted and held onto one of her hands. “It's going to take some getting used to, I'm afraid,” he apologized. “Your body is alive, but it lacks the vital energy that your soul provides. But you'll be on your feet soon,” he added, patting her hand. “It won't be long until you'll regain that energy.”

 

Sesshomaru grasped her a little more tightly, hoping to support her better. It had been futile to hope otherwise, but his hands and clothes were soaked and stained with her blood from holding her. It smelled rotten, and putrid, still threatening to turn his stomach. But at least he could scent Rin's regular fragrance mingled along with the stench. She was alive, blessedly alive. But had it worked?

 

Housenki had previously been smiling absently at the girl while he stroked her hand. Feeling the glare of the demon lord upon him, he jolted and suddenly remembered what he had been doing in the first place. “Here,” he said nervously, eyes darting between Sesshomaru and Rin. Uncurling his free hand, he revealed the pearl to them once more. It now glowed with a faint white light of its own, and gave a strange but distinct aura all around it. The jeweler had already done Rin the courtesy of fixing it to a metal chain, and carefully moved to put it about her neck. Once the clasp was sealed and the pearl was safely resting on her skin, Rin heaved a tired sigh and smiled.

 

“It worked,” Housenki sighed as well, more relieved than anything. He'd escape death to be sure; whether or not a sound beating remained in his future was yet to be determined.

 

It was then Sesshomaru realized that he was breathing quite heavily, on account that his mouth was dry as paper. Working up enough saliva to wet his lips, he rasped, “Are you well?”

 

“Ah,” Rin replied, smiling bravely. Raising a hand in the air, she wiggled her fingers around back up her statement. Then she shifted her weight in an attempt to stand on her feet. Grunting, she pitched forward onto all fours. Sesshomaru rose himself and took a step back to give her room. It was almost comical to watch, were it not so genuinely frustrating for the girl; she was not sure of what her next move would be. After a moment of swaying and lifting up one hand, then the other, she raised her backside into the air and straightened her legs. Then she walked forward towards her hands and used them to vault herself upright. Immediately, she wobbled and pitched, ready to fall again.

 

Sesshomaru steadied her without hesitation. Whatever fears had been allayed were now back in full force from seeing this weakened display.

 

“I'll be alright,” Rin whined indignantly. “I'm just a little dizzy is all, I'm a big girl.”

 

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. She would be fine. He let go.

 

Housenki darted his eyes about nervously, hesitant to speak. “My lord?” he squeaked.

 

The dog demon turned and raised an eyebrow impatiently.

 

The jeweler laughed, chattering his teeth between breaths. “The, uh, I was wondering about…well, in regards to payment---”

 

“You will receive it before the week is ended,” the Western Lord replied smoothly. “This Sesshomaru always pays his debts.”

 

“Oh, but of course I wasn't implying that you wouldn't pay! I just, was, um, uncertain as to when?” Every second that Sesshomaru remained in his home, Housenki's life-span shortened another decade, give or take. Much to his relief, the demon didn't seem that interested in sticking around to further his intimidation; he and the girl were already turned and on their way out.

 

Rin looked back over her shoulder and called out to the craftsman. “Thank you, Housenki-sama! Sorry `bout the mess!” Then she laughed, as if what she had said was terribly funny, instead of just terrible.

 

As the clam closed and began its gradual descent back to the lakebed, Housenki shook his head. A powerful demon brought to his knees by a human girl. And now, they stood to face eternity together.

 

“Remember what you just saw today, old man,” he said aloud to himself. “You're not likely to see anything near like it for the rest of your days.”

 

~*~

 

As soon as safely possible, Seshomaru insisted that they bathe. The stale odor of Rin's blood on their clothes and bodies was making him ill. He hastily deposited her upstream beside a nearby river, before vanishing downstream to purge himself of her death.

 

Neither of them had the luxury of soap or a change of clothes; what they had on would just have to do, so long as it was thoroughly rinsed. Before his hasty retreat in order to grant them both privacy, Sesshomaru instructed Rin to come downstream when she was finished. He planned on setting up camp and staying the night in the woods; the day had just been too trying, and his nerves were nearly shot with all that had transpired. She agreed, and waded out to begin soaking.

 

The water was cold, but not uncomfortable. She did not bother removing her clothes for the first dip; she walked into the lake up to her neck and let the water saturate everything. Her hair was the hardest to come clean. Even after she had rinsed the blood's stains from her chestnut tresses, her scalp was caked with dried blood. Using her fingernails, she scoured her head until it was numb. Of course, now that her hair was clean, her hands were filthy. Rin frowned. This was going to take some time.

 

Wading back out, she removed her kimono and looked at it for the first time. It was hopelessly ruined, but it wasn't one she was particularly attached to. She wouldn't miss it. Dutifully, she wrung out the fabric, soaked it in the river, and repeated the process until the water that dripped from her robe was free of brown tinge. That being done, she opened the kimono out and laid it on the grass to dry in what was left of the steadily sinking sun, then turned back to the lake to set about finishing her bath.

 

It wasn't until then that she noticed how…neutral she felt. The water stung her with its chill upon first entering it, and the air gave her goose bumps whenever she got out, but both were only for mere seconds. After that, she felt nothing; that is, no discomfort from the adverse conditions of the environment. It was as if her sense of pain had ceased functioning properly. I'm weaker than I thought, she mourned. Helplessness was not something she coped well with.

 

When her body was pink with blush instead of blood, she surfaced from the water and put her clothes back on. The fabric was still a bit damp, but it would have to be dealt with; night was steadily falling. Sesshomaru would probably come looking for her if she delayed much longer. She'd never seen him so upset and it bothered her right down to her bones. He might pop a vein if she gave him another cause to worry. Tying her robe shut as she ran, Rin anxiously returned to her lord.

 

The pearl bounced against her chest as she trotted along. It was a new sensation, and yet somehow familiar. It felt heavy, and yet like nothing at all. As if it was an extension of herself, like another limb. It…would take some getting used to. Right now, though, after all that had happened she wasn't in the mood to ponder on it any further than that.

 

Sesshomaru had chosen a well covered little clearing in the woods for their camp. Already, he had a fire going and a rabbit skinned, speared, and cooking. Instinct told him that Rin needed physical nourishment. While she seemed to be fully recovered, he could not shake from his mind how fragile she had felt when she'd woken up. Healed or no, she needed food to get her strength back.

 

He smelled her before he saw her. She still reeked of blood, but her own scent was much stronger and thus made it more bearable. He could hear her teeth chattering softly; no doubt her time spent in the water had nearly frozen her body solid. When she came into view, the possessive demon critically examined her with every sense available. Other than being cold, and her clothes being damp, she was fine. He sighed softly, and settled back against the log behind him; a log from a tree that he cut down, specifically so he would have a log to lean back on.

 

Rin smiled, then sat close to the fire, immediately noticing the rabbit.

 

“Wait a bit longer,” Sesshomaru suggested, knowing full well that she wouldn't.

 

The girl clucked her tongue in defiance and pulled the stick the rabbit was on from the ground. She eyed it over, then sneered at her companion. “There's still some fur on it,” she pouted playfully. Worrying him was out of the question; irritating him though…At least it served to lighten the mood.

 

The demon snorted indignantly, and tossed his hair. The message Rin read from that was, I'd like to see you do better.

 

She grinned impishly before opening her mouth wide and tearing a large piece of meat off the carcass. It burned her tongue with the first bite, but the pain was gone by the second. It wasn't gourmet, but it was hot and filling. She ate as much as she could before throwing the remains in the fire. Wouldn't do to have predators sniffing around any leftover meat in the woods.

 

He watched her eat, satisfied that he had taken care of her enough. Except, she was still cold it seemed. Teeth were still chattering lightly, and she shivered occasionally.

 

“You are cold,” he stated blandly.

 

“No I'm not,” Rin replied.

 

Sesshomaru frowned. “Do not lie to me; you're not impressing anyone.” He didn't need her trying to be a brave little soldier when she was still a wounded little girl.

 

Rin furrowed her eyebrows. “I'm not lying,” she snapped. “I'm just fine.”

 

“You are shivering.”

 

“I…,” she looked and saw it to be true. “I am, aren't I. Huh. Funny, I don't feel cold.”

 

“Your clothes are still wet.” Did he have to make every obvious point known to her? Why was she being so stubborn? Had she reverted back to childhood, and was he to teach her everything all over again?

 

The girl shook her head apologetically. “I know; there wasn't much I could do about that. I'm trying to dry myself by the fire.” As if to prove her statement true, she scooted closer to the flames.

 

This wouldn't do. There was no way she'd be dry before she fell asleep. Sleeping in wet clothes would only make her sick, and having that in addition to killing her on his conscience would about send him off the deep end. Quickly pulling his shirt off, he tossed it at the girl. It landed over her unsuspecting head, draping limply over her body.

 

“Change,” he ordered. When she removed the covering from her head, he nodded off to his left, indicating that she should go into the woods.

 

While Rin wasn't particularly uncomfortable in her wet clothes, she wasn't comfortable either. The shirt was warm, dry, and soft. Nodding, she obediently rose and made her way into the thicket ahead.

 

When she came back, Sesshomaru held out his hand for her kimono. Taking it from her, he laid it flat by the fire, then leaned back and hooked his right arm and what was left of his left behind the log. Rin had never gotten a good look at the damage he bore, inflicted by Inuyasha so long ago. While he wasn't exactly self-conscious of it (Why should he care?), he wasn't about to go showing it off, either.

 

The shirt swallowed Rin. It put into perspective better on how much smaller she was compared to the demon. Standing, its length trailed to her mid-calf. It could have been a house robe, were it not fine silk, and if the sleeves did not extend an extra length past her arm. When she had first wrapped it around herself, she giggled. I look ridiculous, but at least I'm dry, she thought happily. The girl dutifully resumed her seat across from her master, wrapping the extra fabric around her body until only her head was visible.

 

Silence ticked by.

 

Normally, Rin would find something to annoy Sesshomaru about during long silences. But the realization was settling in of how she had just died, been resurrected, and made immortal. Poking fun had absolutely no appeal now. She just wanted to withdraw into herself, and fall asleep. Yet sleep was still far from her grasp, due to the still throbbing adrenaline rush that jerked her body awake. So she sat staring blankly into the fire, clutching onto the pearl from inside her clothes, and waiting for…something.

 

In the flickering light, she could see a gradual picture of Sesshomaru by the fire: his chest in full detail, and as the light faded, shadows of his arms and face. Rin noticed for the first time that he had additional markings than those on his face and wrist. Broad magenta stripes in two pairs followed the curve of his ribcage into the center seam of his chest. A shiver went down her spine. It was so easy to forget that he was a demon. To her, he had always been Sesshoamru-sama. Her hero. Her champion. Her savior. And that was all he was, because anything else did not matter to her. Now confronted with a full view of his broad shoulders, solid and well-built torso, and vibrant natural markings, she could no longer keep him in the realm of little girl fantasy. He was a demon. He killed people.

 

He had killed her, today.

 

But, he had also saved her. He had saved her from both of her deaths, just as easily as he could have left her. Sesshomaru was well-known for hating humans, yet seemed absolutely determined to keep Rin in his company. Until today, she had never really questioned why.

 

She knew why she followed him. Rin needed him, to help herself survive, but there was more to it than that. When she had first seen him, bleeding and (as she had interpreted it) scared in the forest, she just knew she had lost her way in those woods that day for a reason. Even though he refused her help, healing rapidly on his own, he did not once turn her away. He never looked at her, but she knew he was always watching her when she visited. When he finally did talk to her, he expressed concern for her well-being while trying to appear aloof and disinterested. He seemed to be just as intrigued about her as she was about him. An odd sense of respect passed between them.

 

But it was in saving her life that she knew she was destined to be at his side. Why else would he do it? What other than fate could have motivated a demon lord to resurrect an orphaned human? Anyone else, and he would have walked on, or even might have had a hand in killing them. But not her. He raised her up, and her life was tied to his. They both seemed to realize it, as they stared at each other in stunned silence in the moments after her rebirth. She understood the rules, and would obey them. And that was why she followed him. That is why she still followed him. That is why she sacrificed her mortality to be with him forever.

 

Who was she to question fate?

 

Noticing her eyes were beginning to itch and droop, Rin curled herself up on the ground close to the fire, but at an angle that she could still see him. Just as always, he wasn't looking at her, but he was still watching. Rin rolled her eyes. Sometimes, his high and mighty attitude really wore on her nerves. As long as they'd known each other, and as much as they'd been through, why he never seemed to lower his guard to have a simple conversation with her was truly frustrating at times. Like now, with him hiding his left arm behind that log. She knew it was gone; she'd known it when she had first gotten close to him in the woods. Vanity or pride was making him behave like this, and she almost wanted to laugh at how silly it all was. In fact, she did start to giggle.

 

At which Sesshomaru cocked his head to the side, but still made no eye-contact with her.

 

“That must be uncomfortable,” she said with a knowing smile.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“I said, that must be uncomfortable. With your arm, I mean. It doesn't look very relaxing anyway.”

 

The demon raised his fingers up from behind the log in defiance of the girl's supposition. If he wasn't a nobleman, and if she wasn't a little girl, he would have been tempted to accentuate his point more clearly with a rude gesture. Indeed, he was quite tempted to when she began softly laughing again.

 

“What?” he gritted.

 

Rin sighed. “Not that one. The other arm.”

 

At this statement he did make eye-contact to see if she'd gone mad and was babbling complete nonsense. Lying down like she was, she could even be talking in her sleep. But she was smiling at him with her lips and eyes, and he knew the curiosity she expressed was serious. But what was even stranger was as much as his mind was offended with her brazen words, his body relaxed and shifted to pull both arms back to his sides. And then she could see it; that stump, that reminder of his defeat which he would carry until the end of his days. Self-consciousness flared through his nerves, and his right hand twitched to cross his chest and cover up what he could on his left. But he would not show her shame. Why he felt it to begin with confused him enough as it was.

 

She looked at him quietly for awhile. Then she opened her mouth, and shyly asked, “Does it ever hurt?”

 

Sesshoumaru looked to his left arm then, suspicious of how it must appear to the girl. Pursing his lips, he shook his head, but did not look at her.

 

Then Rin did the strangest thing. She sat up, and smiled warmly. “Good,” she laughed softly, “I'm glad.” And then she turned her body away from him and lay back down to fall asleep.

 

Sesshomaru stayed awake all night.

 

~*~

 

In the morning, when she groggily shoved her hand into the smoldering embers of the campfire, they learned why she had not felt the cold during the night.

 

Initially, she cried out and cradled her injured palm close, bracing herself for the gradual increase of the pain. But it never came. In fact, it started to fade almost immediately.

 

Sesshomaru of course was at her side and fighting to inspect the damage. When he'd managed to wrench her hand away, he was shocked to find there was no evidence of any sort of burn anywhere on the skin. Confused, he felt the coals for himself, finding they were indeed hot enough to cause some damage. They both looked at her palm, dumbstruck, for what seemed to be a long time. Randomly, they both raised their eyes to each other. It seemed that their thoughts were on the same page, for when Sesshomaru raised a clawed finger above Rin's hand, she nodded. He didn't scratch deep; only enough to bleed. Rin hissed at the initial contact but furrowed her eyebrows when the stinging quickly vanished. With his thumb, Sesshomaru rubbed down the path of the scrape, wiping away the blood. Her skin was clean underneath. No evidence of any sort of blemish remained.

 

The human girl looked to her demon lord with both fearful excitement. She wasn't just immortal. She was nearly invincible; only demons could heal that quickly.

 

Sesshomaru didn't care when he noticed his hand was trembling.