InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Poison of Erised! ❯ Chapter Four - Unquestionably Hurtful! ( Chapter 4 )

The Poison of Erised!

 by Vyncent

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::This story contains GRAPHIC violence, sexual content! You are WARNED::

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Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor any of the associated characters. But it ain't because I don't want or wish to do so.

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As the day had promised, it had been hot, and humid, just as it had been now for several days. With the continued threat of thunderstorms in the area, the almost unbearable sweltering weather made it difficult for everyone, youkai, hanyou, and ningen.

A small group of adventurers took solace from the heat, near a small mountain fed stream in the shelter of some aged old maples, enjoying the relief that the cool shade provided, and the cold water of the nearby stream. Although they all appeared to be asleep, if one took a close look they could see that there were at least two of the group, whose senses were alert for any prospective danger in the area.

Luck, or rather the heat, was with them, however, as it was just too uncomfortable for predator or prey to really move. There were of course, a few exceptions to this, but for the most part, it seemed that the entire world was just trying to find a comfortable respite from the hot weather.

Late in the afternoon, a shift in the breeze, brought a bit of cooler air with it, and the camped group of wayfarers stirred from their heat induced lethargy. Shippou and Kirara awoke first and both went down to the stream's edge to refresh themselves. The cool water and the light breeze was more than welcome as relief from the heat.

Shortly afterward, Sango was up, although her awakening was more because of the ever present lecherous hand of a certain monk, than because she had awakened on her own. A loud scream of 'HENTAI', and a resounding *SLAP* could be heard throughout the surrounding area, as those still at rest found their own slumber interrupted by the sudden noise.

As he had done, already, several times during both the night and the day, Inuyasha checked on Kagome. While he still worried about her continued state of unconsciousness, he was relieved when he found her fever was almost gone. Feeling helpless to do much to help the girl, he found doing anything better than nothing at all. So once again he wiped her face, wrists and feet, with cool water to help keep her fever from flaring back up again.

While he was doing this, Sango and Miroku had taken the time to catch some fish from the nearby stream, while Shippou with a little help from Kirara fetched fire wood, to rekindle the campfire. Soon the smell of a welcome meal filled the area, and several stomachs could be heard voicing their anticipation of the up and coming meal.

Except to fetch more water, refresh himself, and to take his share of the food, Inuyasha hardly strayed from Kagome's side. The others didn't say anything, but they were aware that the hanyou was very worried for the little Miko. In truth, they all were. Whatever was wrong, none of them knew what to do that they had not already done, and the fact that she was still not awake was beginning to take its toll on their worry and nerves.

If the situation had not seemed so dire, they all might have teased the hanyou for his uncommon show of affection and caring for their friend. At heart, the hanyou truly loved Kagome, but his pride and years of distrust, left him afraid to express himself openly. More than anything, he wanted to be able to hold her, and tell her of his heart's desire.

He was afraid to do so, however, for various reasons. One, was his past experience with doing such. The last time that he had opened his heart to another, he had been horribly betrayed. True, it was not seemingly intentional, especially considering Naraku's interference, but it had still hurt. Despite knowing the truth, it didn't make it any easier to open his heart again to another. On some level, he knew that Kagome was nothing like Kikyou, and that she loved him, loved him enough to stay with him, despite the fact that he continued to run to Kikyou at every opportunity.

That right there, however, brought forth another reason. Kikyou herself. Had she still been resting in her grave, and passing through the afterlife, as the dead were supposed to do, things would have been so different from what they were now. But with Urasue's damnable interference, his first love was once again walking the land of the living, but not alive herself.

While everyone else saw them as two tragic lovers torn apart over 50 years ago, for Inuyasha, it was like yesterday. For him, the 50 years, were not the same. He remembered the pain of the arrow she had shot him with, the darkness that had engulfed him, and then awakening to the scent of what at first seemed to be his betrayer, coming back to taunt him. It was like going to sleep and awakening, only to find that the entire world had passed you by, and skipped ahead by 50 years.

For him the wounds were still fresh, as from his perspective it was like just yesterday. Sure fifty years had passed, but while that was physically true, mentally for Inuyasha, is was not. For him, the pain of learning how to live with the loss and the betrayal was still fresh as if it had just been yesterday.

Still, the people he had known, were gone. The woman he had loved and thought betrayed him was dead, but despite that betrayal the news of her death had hurt. But he had begun to accept that, and heal from those wounds. In that Kagome had helped immensely, but then Kikyou had been brought back again, and shortly after that the truth had been found, of what had actually happened all of those years ago.

True, he knew all that had happened was because of Naraku, and he had long ago forgiven Kikyou for her part in having pinned him to the Sacred Tree. The love, however that he had felt for her then was still there now, although not like everyone seemed to think it was.

Everyone had a first love, but no one ever truly forgot that. Inuyasha was no exception. What hurt him the most was that he now cared for Kikyou, although not with the same love as he had once held for her, and he found his heart pulling him to Kagome. Still when he felt an obligation to the past, how did he make the present understand what was in his heart?

He blamed himself for Kikyou's death. It was the wounds that she suffered, believing them to be his doing that had killed her, over 50 years ago. It was her determination to save the Sacred Jewel from the hands of what she believed to be Inuyasha that had driven her to accept her own death, and to take the jewel with her.

Had he not been there, she might have lived, and her life as it was now would never have come to this. More than anything, he wanted her spirit to find peace, and with that in mind he had sworn to protect her from Naraku, and to send the vile hanyou to hell, so that she could find her peaceful and more than deserved rest.

Yes, she wanted to kill him and had attempted to do so several times. He knew this, but still, if his presence could help her to find even a little peace in her unnatural life, didn't he owe it to her to come when she called, and to try to be there for her? It all confused him, especially when he was around Kagome, for he could not help but find the young Miko from the future desirable.

Kagome, who had stuck by him through thick and thin, in ways that even Kikyou would never had thought to do, or even considered doing. Kagome, whose sunny smile brightened everyone's day, and whose love and compassion was felt by everyone she came across. Kagome, who sacrificed something of herself everyday to be with him, or to help in her own way to protect those she cared most about.Truthfully, she had broken the jewel, but if Inuyasha had only told her the truth about the jewel sooner, and been more open with her, then perhaps she would not deal with the hardships that they all now faced. But then, she might have gone back home long ago, and would have left him to live his life all alone. So in a way, her having broken the jewel was not just a curse, but a blessing. But why could he not just tell her so?

Still, she never blamed anyone but herself for that mistake, nor did she shirk her responsibility for finding the shards and trying to bring the jewel back together once again. Sure, Inuyasha always yelled at her for going back through the old well to her own time, but it was not because he thought less of her. No, it was because he feared, deep in his heart that she would go and never come back to be with him.

He truly didn't think he could live with that. Without even trying, or him noticing, she had become an inextricable part of his life. Still, he could never bring himself to admit to her, how much she meant to him. Hell, he barely admitted it to himself, let alone to anyone else.

Now, she was unconscious for kami knew why, and he didn't know what to do that they had not already done. So he did what he could. Stayed beside her, and tried to find little ways to make her comfortable, while being there to protect her from any danger that might be lurking near.

He ate out of reflex more than hunger, he was too worried about Kagome to care whether or not he ate at all. So lost in thought and worry was he that he didn't notice when she first stirred as awareness began to curl around her senses.

She opened her eyes, and the first thing she saw was a red clad, silver haired hanyou, sitting lost in thought beside her. This caught her off guard just enough that she was confused and didn't know what to say. Why was he sitting beside her? He normally didn't do this when she slept.

Of course, she was unaware of the many nights that Inuyasha spent, not only sitting next to her as she slept, but staring at her like she was the most precious thing in his universe. It was the only time that he ever let his guard on his feelings slip. With everyone asleep, no one could see his show of weakness.

He caught a slight motion out of the corner of his eyes, bringing to his attention that Kagome was now awake. He turned immediately to look at her, seeing her looking at him, his face reddened just a bit, but then he caught himself, and quickly turned away.

"It's about time you woke up, wench," he groused, as he got up and stomped over to the nearby tree, leaped up to a nearby branch and got comfortable. "Feh! Just like you to slow us down with your pathetic lazy ass."

Kagome frowned, hurt by his accusations. What had she done? The last thing she remembered was lying down the night before, and falling asleep. Why was he angry with her?

Not currently feeling up to an argument, she turned to look around her, as she slowly sat up. She felt fine, but why was everyone eating dinner like it was the end of the day? This was not where she remembered them camping when she had gone to bed. Had they moved? What had happened?

Before she could ask the questions that ran through her mind, a small orange blur hurled itself in her direction, sending her backwards, as it impacted with her chest.

"Kagome," cried Shippou, a sniffle of relief gracing his childish face. "You are awake. We were so worried."

"Of course I am awake. I was just sleeping like everyone else," she said, confused, as she hugged the relieved kitsune reassuringly.

"Kagome-sama," spoke up Miroku, looking at her with obvious concern, "How are you feeling?"

"I have never felt better," she spoke, letting the confusion colour her voice. "Why is everyone acting so strangely? Why is Inuyasha mad at me? What did I do wrong?"

Sango and Miroku looked at each other, then turned back to the confused Miko.

"What do you last remember, Kagome-chan," spoke up Sango.

"What do you mean?" was her reply. Why was everyone behaving so strangely? "I remember us camping by a stream, and going to sleep early because it was so hot. What is wrong with everyone?"

"Oi, wench," growled Inuyasha, not really sure why he was being so cruel, "there is nothing wrong with us. We didn't laze around for the last day and a half, while everyone else was doing all of the work."

His words hurt, but what did he mean, day and a half? Was that why they were in a different camping site than before? Why didn't she remember? What had happened while she had slept?

She turned to Sango and Miroku, hoping that someone would give her some answers. At the look of worry and confusion on their faces, she almost lost hope of learning that much. But then Miroku spoke up.

"Kagome-sama," he spoke to her gently, "you have been unconscious for over a day and a half. We were worried, when we could not get you to awaken, and you seemed to have a slight fever. Inuyasha carried you, as we continued to travel, hoping to get to Kaede-baa-chan's as quickly as we could to seek help for you."

"But I feel fine," she spoke softly, "I don't feel sick."

"Of course not, bitch," grumbled Inuyasha again. Even he flinched at his own cruel words. "I would not feel sick either, after sleeping so long while the everyone else worried and did all of the work."

"It is not like I did it on purpose, Inuyasha," Kagome yelled at the hanyou, her anger starting to kick in at the way he was treating her, when she had not done anything wrong. "I am sorry that I am such a useless inconvenience to you."

"Yeah, whatever, wench," he grumbled.

"Inuyasha," she spoke, not looking up at him any more. "Osuwari!"

As his face impacted with the ground in an all too familiar plant, Kagome stood up to walk away. As she tried to take her first step forward, she started to crumple to the ground. It was not that she felt any pain, or that she was hurt, it was just that her muscles suddenly didn't feel like they were there. Fortunately, the spell of the necklace wore off just in time for Inuyasha to look up, see her falling, and leap in to catch her before she could hit the ground.

She could not bring herself to look at him, sure that he was even more angry with her for being so weak. Keeping her eyes down, she didn't see the fleeting look of worry that crossed his face before he set her back on her feet, and steadied her long enough to be sure that she was not going to fall again.

Sango and Miroku had both jumped up to rush to the girl, and offer their help, however, Inuyasha had beaten them to it, when he caught her. At that they still walked over to her to see if she was still in need of further help.

"Gomen, Inuyasha," she said softly, fighting to hold back the tears. She didn't understand what was going on, nor did she know what had happened in the last day and a half. Perhaps she was just a burden, and he was tired of her being in the way. "Gomen, for being a bother and causing everyone so much concern and trouble."

She had her balance by this time, and pushed away from Inuyasha. She needed to cry, and didn't want him to see her doing so, knowing that he would only use it as another reason to be angry for her being weak. When she was sure that she was not going to fall again, she pushed by everyone and ran along the nearby stream away from the camp, and into the encroaching darkness.

"Inuyasha," spoke up Miroku, as the houshi brought his Shakoju down on the hanyou's head smartly enough to hurt even his thick skull.

"Ow! What was that for houshi?" was his heated response.

"Perhaps you should take the time to think over the last few minutes Inuyasha," heatedly replied Sango.

"Yeah, Inuyasha," spoke up Shippou, sitting on Miroku's shoulder. "Kagome didn't ask to have a fever, or to not be able to wake up all that time. What is wrong with you baka, acting like it was all something she did on purpose."

"Feh! If it was not that she can sense the jewel shards," he spit back at them, "she would be more of a burden than she is already."

Sango immediately hit him in the head with Hiraikotsu. It might not have been as satisfying as Kagome's sit, but the effects certainly lasted longer. While the hanyou was lying unconscious on the ground, she turned to the houshi.

"I am going to take care of Kagome," she spoke up, "I leave you to 'fix' Inuyasha, for now." Sango was quite incensed with Inuyasha's attitude. Why could he not just at least admit to himself that he loved Kagome, and stop treating her so. It was not fair that he constantly put her down, and demeaned her with cruel words all of the time. It was a miracle that the girl even had any confidence at all, the way he was always telling her that she was worthless.

She didn't have to go far, as Kagome had only gone just far enough to find a quiet place to let go of the hurt that she felt at the hanyou's cruel words. Sango found her just a bit up stream, sitting under a tree, and crying. Whatever had been wrong with Kagome since yesterday morning, it was not her fault, and right now it was more important to make sure that Kagome was alright, not put her down for having possibly been ill.

"Kagome-chan," said Sango, as she reached Kagome's side. She knelt beside the young onna, and hugged her. She just let the Miko cry herself out. Everyone needed to cry once in a while. No one knew why she had been unconscious, and whatever had caused it might even still have some affects on her now.

It was not long before Kagome's tears ran out, and she pulled back from Sango. She wiped her eyes, feeling shame for having cried, which only added to the further shame that she felt for having been such a burden to everyone else.

"Gomen, Sango-san," said Kagome. "I didn't mean to cause so much trouble and worry for everyone."

"It's ok, Kagome-chan," said Sango. "Don't listen to what Inuyasha says. He has hardly left your side since yesterday morning, despite what he says. He was worried about you. He just has a hard time saying what he really means."

"But you all risk so much just protecting me," came the heartbreaking reply. "If it were not for my arrows, I would almost be totally helpless."

"Iie, Kagome-chan. That is not true. There are many kinds of warriors," spoke up Sango soothingly. "Not all are skilled in combat with swords, bows, knives, or great weapons of power. Sometimes there are battles that are won in other ways. If you were meant to wield a weapon of another kind, then you would have done so by now. You are powerful in other ways. Ways that none of us truly understands, including Inuyasha."

"You really think so?" Kagome asked hopefully. "I feel so helpless all of the time. Maybe Inuyasha is right. If I were not here, it would be easier for everyone else."

"Without you," spoke up Sango, knowing it would hurt, but also that it needed to be said. "we could not find the shards of the jewel. Besides, you bring more to this group that just a shard detector. Inuyasha may not say it, but when you are not here, things are just not the same."

"Yeah," said Kagome, the depression in her voice more than evident. "When I am not here, everyone is happier because there is one less weakling around to worry about."

"Iie, Kagome-chan," said Sango. "Shippou loves you for who you are, not what Inuyasha might want you to be. You are there for us, when we all need someone to lean on, and are the one who keeps our spirits up when we are down. You treat our wounds, and offer a part of yourself that the rest of us would find hard to be without. You are not a burden, you are a pleasure. We all love you, each in our own way. Even Inuyasha, though he doesn't seem to know how to just come out and say it."

Kagome sat in thought considering Sango's words. Maybe she did make a difference in ways other than being a warrior with great weapons skills. After all, not everyone was meant to be a skilled fighter.

"Arigato, Sango-san," said Kagome. "That makes me feel a little bit better. I just wish I knew what happened over the last day and a half. I don't feel ill, nor in any pain."

"There was no pain when you fell?" asked a concerned Sango.

"No. In fact, I am not sure why I fell," Kagome replied. "It was like my muscles just turned to jelly for a moment, but there was no pain."

"You did collapse the other day," said Sango, "from the heat. Perhaps this is just something to do with that."

"Maybe," replied Kagome. "I suppose that I could ask Kaede-baa-chan, when we reach the village. Well, I guess I have caused enough excitement for one day, perhaps we should go back before the guys get worried again."

"Sure," spoke up Sango, and both onna headed back to camp.

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Dictionary

Baka - Idiot

Chikushou - Damn

Fujo - Witch

Hanyou - Half Demon

Houshi - Monk

Inu - Dog

Kitsune - Fox Demon

Miko - Shrine Maiden

Mononoke - Animal Spirit - Kirara would be considered an mononoke as she has no human form

Neko - Cat

Okaa-san - Mother

Onee - Older Sister

Onna - Woman

Sama - Lady or Lord - respectively

Shikon no Kakera - Shikon Shards

Shikon no Tama - Jewel of Four Souls

Shishi - Lion

Taijiya - Demon Exterminator

Taiyoukai - Demon Lord

Tenshi - Angel

Tenseiga - Sacred Life Fang

Tetsusaiga - Iron Pulverizing Fang

Youkai - Demon