InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Price of Vengeance ❯ Chapter FIfty-Four: Hesitant ( Chapter 55 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, etc. Rumiko Taskahashi does. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Loved the reviews! Thank you very much. I promise not to be so tardy in the future with updates. Some late thanks go to KawaiiInuYoukai, who wondered if Kikyo had cursed Inuyasha with loneliness and Fairia13 for wondering about Kagome's growing powers, and to Vyncent, who answered that question for me. Thanks to all who have spurred on ideas for Vengeance, this story would not be have as good without them! On a side note: My talented Vyncent has written another story, posted on A Single Spark, and called "Unworthy One". Gave me the shivers and I wiped the tears away with a smile. Love waffy darkness all snuggled together. Great fic, Vyncent, can't wait for more!

WARNING: SOME LANGUAGE.

Chapter Fifty-Four (Hesitant)

When she was unable to find Kirara in any of her usual spots, Sango grew concerned for her neko companion. Biting her lip, she scanned the dawn-lit landscape, seeking inspiration from the half-shadowed buildings that stood empty and deserted in the encircling timbered fence that InuYasha had repaired while she recovered her strength. Her thoughts were distracted, and part of her was proud of the work they had started repairing some of the wreckage done to the devastated village. There was still a lot more to do, but most of the more obvious damage had been fixed. InuYasha had worked hard, and when she had once asked him about his zealous labors, the hanyou had just shrugged and grumbled that he couldn't stand looking at the mess.

A soft smile touched her lips. The hanyou always got so defensive and growlly when he was confronted with his own natural compulsion to help those in need.

A trilling call outside the village pulled her attention away from InuYasha, and she searched for the sound of the bird calling out to the awakening world around it. InuYasha was suddenly there, beside her, his white ears twitching. He, too, was looking toward the village gates. The bird sang again, and then fell silent.

Sango suddenly knew where Kirara was.

*Midoriko's cave.*

The neko went there, sometimes, and seemed to find comfort in the ghostly caverns of Midoriko's tomb. Sango could understand: she had sought out Midoriko's cave herself when troubled in the past. Not often; although she could find a quiet peace there, there was also a disturbing presence...perhaps the ghostly forms of the embattling demons, or just her own unease around the statuary, frozen in death as they had been in the last moments of life. Sango did not really understand her mixed feelings regarding the old miko-warrior's inner sanctum. Her father had always been proud of their distant ancestor, the lady-warrior who had used the last of her strength to pull her soul, and the demons, into the Otherworld, locked forever in combat, her heart the Jewel of Four Souls...

Perhaps it was the heroic sacrifice of Midoriko's life, the eternal struggle she waged, even now, in the heart of the Jewel, that pulled at Sango. There was no rest for the self-sacrificing miko of old...and the Jewel that had been created from the last thrust of her sacred powers was now a pawn and a tool to help the darker side that the ancient miko had always fought...

*Would she never find peace?*

InuYasha sent her a sharp look, seeing how troubled her brown eyes were. "Hey." He growled, mistaking her thoughts. "Kirara can take care of herself."

Sango allowed a soft smile to touch her lips. "I know." With that enigmatic reply, she left the hanyou standing with his arms crossed over his chest as she made her way through the village gates and down the winding path to the limestone cavern of Midoriko's tomb.

There was a scramble of slipping pebbles and an impatient grunt behind her, and Sango felt heartened as InuYasha reached her side. She looked up at him, feeling uneasy and strange after peering at the darkened face of the tomb's entrance, and bit back a smile. InuYasha's amber eyes were wary, and his claws were tightening on the hilt of his Tetsusaiga. Was he remembering Midoriko's version of "sit"? The hanyou had arrogantly proclaimed his intentions of using the completed Jewel to become a full demon, and the spirit in the cave had expelled him like a slingshot straight out of the cavern and tumbling into the trees that lined the valley below.

InuYasha crossed his arms, impatient. "Where the hell is that stupid cat, anyway?"

"Mew."

Startled, both of them turned, to see Kirara sitting on the stony path behind them. *How...?*

Kirara blinked, and then opened her kitteny mouth in a wide yawn, as if bored with them. Her tails flicked back and forth, and she made a low, purring sound.

"Where the hell did you come from?" InuYasha growled.

Kirara tilted her head, her purr louder.

"Keep your damn secrets, I don't care." InuYasha groused.

Sango just smiled, opening her arms. With a graceful leap that should have been impossible for her small size, the neko was cuddled in the taijiya's arms, her purr rumbling against her chest as the kitten smoothed her furry cheek against Sango's neck. Sango kissed the top of Kirara's starred forehead, one hand rubbing gentle circles over the neko's perked ears. Kirara purred louder, the vibration making Sango laugh.

InuYasha scowled, his look jealous.

He couldn't stand one more damn minute of it.

"WELL?"

Sango looked up, her eyes honeyed brown and warm. She shrugged, and Kirara's red eyes glowed at him.

*~*~*~*~*

InuYasha was testy and impatient this morning, and Sango had to bite back a few retorts when his grumbling got under her skin. Something was bothering him, and normally she would have teased him out of it. But he seemed distracted and irritable, far more so than usual, and she was still a little shy around him after yesterday.

They were both preparing to leave, the unspoken agreement between them that they had spent enough time away from Kaede's village. After yesterday's energetic sparring match, it was more than clear that Sango had regained her strength. There was no longer any real reason for them to linger in the deserted village, and yet...

A part of her was saddened as she went through the village, making certain that the doors and windows were secured against the coming winter. This high in the hills, the air was already chilly and spoke of an early frost in its breath. She shivered, but not with cold. Once this village had teemed with life, and she had thought---after Naraku's devastating attack---that that life was forever annihilated. She had not cared, then, that the broken huts had stood opened to the ravages of the weather. Her sorrow had still been too poignant and overwhelming for her to even consider what might be salvaged of her home. But InuYasha had been busy, she hadn't realized until now just how much work he had done.

There was still a lot of work to do, enough work to fill a dozen hands for years to come. And yet, each of the huts had been repaired enough to keep out the weather, and merely looked dilapidated, not destroyed. What could not be salvaged had been torn down and cut into firewood. They had enough firewood to keep the village fires going for at least two years from the rubbled remains, but the burnt skeletons of empty houses no longer crept across the landscape, a stark reminder of the terrible tragedy that had happened.

Her heart was at peace now, the ghosts no longer haunted her. She would seek revenge for her family and friends, she would kill Naraku or die trying. Family honor demanded no less. But she would no longer live in the past. She was freed.

Thanks to InuYasha.

She carefully checked the sealing mechanism on the door to the smithy, where demon bones and hide had been kept and weapons and armor made from them. She knew all of the arts of her village's craft; her father's training had been thorough. But the store-house stood empty: the haunted remains stolen by Sazuna and Sarena months before having been demolished in the Wind Scar of InuYasha's rescue. If she was ever to revive the village again, and teach the art of demon slaying, she would have to muster new weapons. And she knew not where she might find people eager to settle in such a remote location, with such a burden and such a dark, ominous past...

It was a lost dream, a stupid dream, really.

Sango closed her eyes and leaned wearily against the stout door to the store-room.

"Mew?"

She smiled softly at the neko's impatient inquiry.

Opening her eyes, she eased the tense strain from her shoulders. "I'm done, Kirara."

"Mewr." Kirara's tails flicked back and forth.

"Something the matter?" Sango asked, kneeling down, concern threading her voice. She tensed again, wary.

Kirara's eyes glowed, and her nose pointed toward the distant rise. Sango stood up, her fingers cupping the slowly setting sun's glare from the shadow that stood on the hill that overlooked the village and was high enough to see beyond the tall wooden palisades of the village to the scattering forest that swept the surrounding hills.

Long silver hair glittered and whitened in the sun's descent, the red Fire Rat robes a fiercer shade than the sun would become as it descended lower to the earth. The wind rose, tugging at the loose locks around Sango's ears and stirring the ends of InuYasha's mane.

*He's brooding.*

She had the fierce desire to go and shake him out of it, snap a challenge at him that would make his eyes glow that almost golden amber and make his nostrils widen as if he could take in the smell of battle. He was always so eager to win; she loved that about him. There was so much she loved about him, she almost ached with it. For so long, she had kept her feelings carefully hidden. InuYasha was beyond her: for one, he was tied to not one, but two women, one of whom was the sister of her heart, if not her blood. For another, he was hanyou, though that had not bothered her as much as it might have. It bothered him, though, and she had often wondered if he would ever desire children, believing that they would grow up hated and feared by both men and youkai. She had been raised among slayers, which might have put an insurmountable barrier between them. But her father had not only taught her the art of war, he had also taught her the art of parlay. To this day, she remembered the serpent healer who they had been contracted to slay, and who had ended up being the solution to the healer-less village who had feared it. Her father had often stressed that it was not only their duty to rescue humans, but sometimes, to rescue demons.

Though even he had never mentioned hanyou. They were a despised half-caste not worthy of their birth. Sango had never really thought about it---she had been too eager to slay any demon who might come near her blade or boomerang, though her father would laugh at her exuberance and call it youth, and deliberately take her with him on "parlay", so that she could see for herself that every situation had two sides, like the steeled katana she was so ready to use.

She missed her father, suddenly, acutely, and wondered what he might have thought about InuYasha. He had always been one to like a brash tongue, as long as the bravado had the manhood to back it up...

She sighed, wishing he was here to ask advice of. Though how she could approach him with what was heavy on her heart, she knew not.

Kirara mewed again, impatient with them both. Her tails were lashing, and her eyes glowed brighter.

Sango frowned, speaking to her companion as if she were human. "I can't."

Kirara wrinkled her nose at her.

Sango shook her head. "It's not that simple."

Kirara made a derisive noise.

Sango just shook her head, mute. Whatever the neko youkai thought, InuYasha was not free to love her. He might even think of her as just a comforting friend. The kiss they had shared, the night wrapped in each other's arms, might mean nothing to him once he saw Kagome again. He had loved the young miko deeply, as much as he had loved Kikyo. There was no way Sango could compete with either of them. He had been away from the miko for a long time. He might seem distant, but when he brooded, he brooded about Kagome.

Kirara scowled, as much as a cute kitten could, and lashed her tails again. Sango closed her eyes, refusing to show her sadness over the thought of InuYasha's troubled heart. There was no way that the hanyou could know how deep her feelings ran. She was stupid if she didn't face the reality that he might never be able to return her love. She had accepted that before, so why was it so hard now?

With a roaring sweep of flames, Kirara transformed into her larger form, her fangs elongating and her eyes glowing. The transformation brought Sango out of her thoughts, and she nodded silently. Retrieving her Hiraikotsu and the small bundle she had packed from her hut, she walked beside the larger neko and up to the hill where InuYasha stood staring at the sun.

"InuYasha?" Sango queried, slightly hesitant.

The hanyou's eyes were a deepening gold, and he flashed her a fathomless look. "Finally."

Sango stiffened at his abrupt word. *Finally?!*

"Took you long enough." InuYasha tossed at her, arms crossed and look impatient.

Sango wanted to smack him. She held back the urge with some fierce willpower, and turned to Kirara instead. Tying the small bundle to her side, above her katana, so that it would dangle over her leg and Kirara's side in flight, she turned Hiraikotsu so that she might tie it out of the way along her back. Suddenly, InuYasha was there, pulling at the heavy boomerang.

"That damn thing is always in the way." InuYasha growled, grabbing Hiraikotsu from her hands as she sought to secure it.

"What are you...?" Sango blinked at him, but he ignored her question, tying the mighty weapon to his own back.

An idea startled her. "InuYasha, I've regained my strength. I can carry Hiraikotsu's weight. You don't have to worry---"

InuYasha snorted. "I know you can carry the stupid thing. Whatever. Are we going to stand here arguing or are you going to climb on that damn cat's back so we can get the hell outta here?"

Strangely hurt by his cutting words, Sango shut her mouth, her lips firming into a thin white line, and silently mounted Kirara, who purred soothingly at her. Scratching the deep fur between Kirara's ears, Sango was comforted as the mighty purr of the neko rumbled under her parted thighs.

InuYasha scowled at them both and then scrambled up behind her. Kirara warned them before taking off, and Sango dug her fingers in the fur of Kirara's ruff, where it wouldn't hurt the neko youkai. They were up and away, and InuYasha sat braced behind her as they gained altitude. Kirara settled into her distance-eating flight, the fiery flames sparking off of her black paws and Sango relaxed into the familiar motion.

She gasped and tensed again as claws circled her waist in a strong grip and InuYasha scooted himself forward so that her backside was plastered to his front, her bottom nestled between the hard iron muscles of his thighs.

"InuYasha?"

"I'm scared of heights." His amber eyes glowed over her shoulder, the abrasive comment whispering warmth in her ear. Sango's brown eyes widened in shock, he couldn't think she believed such a lame excuse, could he?

She tried to turn her head to tell him just that, the angry retort on her lips, but he growled as the long tip of her ponytail snapped him smartly on the side of his shoulder, raised by the wind of their passage. "Damn it, Sango! Keep still or I'm going to snatch you bald!"

Silent outrage stiffened her spine, and she tried to stay a rigid as a board, uncomfortable with their proximity, but he wouldn't let her. His arms were wrapped over her stomach, just above her hips, and every time she tried to lean forward over Kirara's neck, he plastered himself to her back. A brilliant flush stained her cheeks as he lightly nestled her rear into his---she could feel every movement as he adjusted and corrected to Kirara's motions, and she wanted to die of embarrassment. Instead, her mouth thinned on her anger, and she refused to let him know how mortified she was by his manhandling.

He nosed her hair out of way, so that it streamed behind them both on the right side and rested his chin on her curving shoulder, and she wanted to scream at the warm breath that curled in and out around her ear. He was going to drive her insane. He was even worse than Miroku! What was he thinking? It was undignified, it was inappropriate, it was...intimate.

Warmth coiled low in her belly, and Sango refused to admit that it was due to InuYasha's tight embrace and not anger that was making her skin tingle and her breath come short. How dare he hold her like this, as if he cared? As if he---

She bowed her head, the damn tears must be from the sharp sting of the wind in her face, nothing else.

*Damn it, anyway.*

She suddenly wanted to laugh. Now she was using InuYasha's own curses! He was going to drive her completely insane! She was already unsettled by his possessive, firm hold on her, and she wanted to know if...

Shaking her head, she refused to think about it anymore. Only time would tell, and she could be reading so much more into it than existed. Still...it was nice to be held so close to him, and she relaxed, melting against his harder form behind her. InuYasha lightly squeezed his arms around her thin waist, and enveloped her slighter frame in his as they flew through the fiery skies of the setting sun.

*~*~*~*~*

He could sniff out the village long before they spotted it in the shadows of the cloud-ridden night. Small sounds were lost in the roaring wind of their passage, but his ears pricked forward out of habit.

Kirara rumbled beneath him, and he straightened up, away from Sango, who stirred drowsily. She had relaxed, finally, against him, and even fallen asleep, held tight in his arms. He had spent the time taking in her scent, eyes watching over her shoulder the unfolding landscape beneath them, not entirely capable of trusting Kirara to carry them safely. He was always on the lookout for danger, his instincts honed by years of having to depend on only himself.

It had been strange, learning how to trust (but not fully) the people around him...that Miroku and Sango and even little Shippo had their own strengths that he could depend upon.

And Kagome...

His ears drooped, not wanting to dwell on that thought. He shifted minutely, uncertain how Sango might react if she knew the direction of his thoughts. Withdrawal was easy, and familiar, and he scooted back away from his snug hold on her, making Kirara hiss at the change in weight.

Sango awoke suddenly, her senses alert. Her head turned sharply, scanning the sky and ground below for any danger, and he could feel the muscles tensing under his claws. Certain that she was fully awake, he loosened his grip from around her waist, and folded his arms, using his thighs to keep him upright and steady on the neko's back.

Sango's fingers tightened into Kirara's fur, and she cast him a confused glance, the shadows of the night masking the color of her eyes to him. His closed expression made her jerk slightly, and he felt like an ass, which made him even more defensive.

"We're almost there." He said abruptly, hoping it would explain his sudden withdrawal.

Sango's rigid back told him it had. The amber of his eyes moltened into gold, and he deliberately turned his gaze from the stiff taijiya to the opening village before them.

Kirara descended, the fire of her black paws flickering like a beacon against the cloud-cover that reflected the shadows of the earth below. The fields lay barren and turned, the huts huddling together like old grannies in the cold. He could see his breath before him like a wispy, ethereal cloud in the night, and there was the sharp scent of snow or icy rain in the air. The wind rose, stirring the ends of his silver-white hair and brushing a trailing side-lock against his cheek. He warily avoided Sango's flying ponytail, growling softly as she bent her head and the long black tresses flared out in a fan at the movement.

He had to duck, avoiding her long tail once again as Kirara swung to the right, circling in to land in front of the old miko's hut.

*Damn it, anyway!*

He scowled, his unspoken frustration finding a focus on Sango's hair. He should grab it in his claws and hold on so it wouldn't try and smack him, but he didn't know how Sango would react if he were to suddenly grab the damn thing...

His attention was jerked back into focus as the small sound of jangling rings made his sensitive ears twitch. His eyes shot down to the earth, and he could make out the darker blue shadow of the houshi running toward them. There was a blurred white face parting the darkened bamboo of Kaede's hut, and he could discern the weather-beaten features of the old miko as she slid outside into the night.

Miroku waved his staff at them, making the rings sing in greeting. Kirara rumbled back, the fire on her feet blazing slightly before dying as she touched down. InuYasha's knees tightened at the impact, and he could feel the unfamiliar weight of Hiraikotsu thud against his back as the wind suddenly stilled.

"Sango! InuYasha!" Miroku's smile was as ready as ever, and InuYasha scowled at the houshi. Nothing ever fazed that damn monk.

"Hell, Miroku, what the hell are you doing up at this gods-forsaken hour?" He growled, sliding off of the neko youkai to stand brace-legged beside her.

"Welcome back, InuYasha." Kaede said drily.

InuYasha jerked his head at the old miko in a sour nod of acknowledgment. Kaede stood at the top of the steps to her hut, her hands folded behind her back, a deceptively serene expression on her weathered features. Ignoring her, InuYasha busied himself getting rid of the awkward boomerang strapped to his back. His claws unknotted the tangled chords, and he heaved a long sigh as he leaned the heavy weight of the boned weapon against the side of Kaede's hut.

"Sango, my beautiful taijiya, allow me to assist you..." Miroku insinuated himself between InuYasha and Kirara, his palm opened for the taijiya's grasp, his offer to help her down off of the neko making InuYasha grit his teeth.

*Damn hentai, already trying to---*

Sango lightly grasped Miroku's fingers, accepting his support when normally she would have brushed him off. Red flashed across InuYasha's vision; though he seethed inside, none of it showed in the glowing amber of his eyes. What right had he to claim Sango's regard? Hell, Miroku had always been a lot more of a ladies' man than he. *Damn hentai.* And Sango had always gotten along easily with the houshi, far too easily for his peace of mind.

His eyes fastened on their clasped hands, as Miroku's treacherous thumb couldn't stop from circling against Sango's palm in a light, welcoming caress.

Without warning or thought, InuYasha's claws snaked out and he violently shoved Miroku out of the way so he could snatch Sango's opened hand and jerk her off of the damn cat in one fluid motion. Miroku's surprised yelp was cut off as he staggered and regained his balance, and Sango let out a surprised gasp as she was literally torn off the neko's back. InuYasha let go of her hand as soon as her feet were on the earth, and turned his back to face Kaede, though the growl still lightened through him.

Kaede had a stupid, knowing look on her face that just made him want to curl his claws. *Old hag.* What the hell did she know, anyway? Or THOUGHT she knew? It didn't matter one damn bit that he didn't like that damn hentai grabbing at Sango. He didn't like Miroku touching any woman, damn it.

He scowled back at the old priestess, who just shook her greyed head at him. "Manners have never made a claim on ye, have they InuYasha?"

"Feh. Whatever." Arms folded, he just stood there. There was a whooshing flare behind him, and Kirara hopped up the steps in her kitten form to rub the old miko's sandaled leg with a purr of welcome. InuYasha just glared, but it was Sango who broke in with the thought that was foremost on his mind.

"Where's Kagome, Lady Kaede?"

InuYasha stiffened, but the taijiya ignored him to walk up the steps to Kaede's hut. A soft glow of candle's light came from inside, framing the shielding bamboo curtain behind the elderly miko. InuYasha allowed his senses to expand, seeking the startling fragrance that was Kagome. She was inside, asleep, and her scent was there, making him grit his jaw at the familiarity, and the strange deepening of it...memories flashed over him, and his ears flattened to his skull.

He was walking up the steps, brushing past the miko and taijiya without a word, drawn in by that fragrance. Kaede's sharp words of caution meant nothing to him, the words forgotten as soon as he heard them.

"Don't wake her, InuYasha. She's exhausted, and her fever just broken."

He swept the bamboo aside, and stepped inside, stilling as he caught sight of the young girl who had always meant so much to him, both for herself and for the one he remembered.

*Kagome...*

His eyes softened into gold as he stared at her. She was sleeping, the soft deep breaths telling him to silence his steps as he drew closer. Her scent overwhelmed him, and his nose twitched at the ripening of heavy blossoms that filled the air. She moaned softly, and stirred, as if sensing his presence even in her dreams.

He knelt down beside her, his eyes intense as he took in the changes to her lithe body. The thick pile of blankets that cocooned her could not hide the distinctive bulge of her stomach or the heaviness of her breasts, and he could smell, faintly, the musty odor of the pregnancy that had claimed control over her small body. The world seemed suddenly silent and still, and his ears cocked forward, seeking the sound of her heartbeat, and that of the child's.

Faintly, he could hear the strange staccato of multiple heartbeats under the strong drum of his own and the life-giving rhythm of Kagome's, and he shouldn't have been amazed and awed at the thought, but he was. She was carrying pups. His despised brother's pups, the faint trace of the Taiyoukai was growing stronger as his senses expanded, taking in the multiple variations of her altered scent.

Protective instinct swirled through him, making his amber eyes deepen and darken in awe of the female who carried.

She was a mother...

Hesitant and awed, his claws stretched out as if he would touch the swell of her belly, uncertain if he should.

"Kagome..." Her name was a reverent whisper, almost heartbroken with denied love for her.

His ears perked, a faint sound behind him making him turn his head swiftly.

The taijiya's eyes were wide, their depths almost cinnamon and flickering in the soft glow of yellow candle flame. His nose twitched, and he caught the faint hint of salty wetness in the air. He froze, staring back at her staring at him and Kagome. He could feel Kaede's gaze boring into his back, and he flinched.

The movement set Sango free, and she uncoiled like a tightly wound spring. With hardly a whisper of sound, she was gone, out of the hut. InuYasha's ears flattened against his head, and his eyes goldened in the light, staring at the sweeping shiver of the bamboo as it settled back into place behind the disappearing taijiya.

Kaede's gravely voice intruded. "Go." She said simply, her single eye dark with an unfathomable emotion.

InuYasha hesitated. "Kagome..."

"She is safe with us. She sleeps." Kaede said dryly. "She has been safe with us these past five months, there will be no change this day in her."

He nodded, distracted, eyes on the bamboo doorway.

"She needs ye, InuYasha." Kaede nodded toward the door, so that there would be no confusion as to WHO needed him.

InuYasha cast a last look back at the sleeping girl who had loved him, and whom his love endangered. He had failed to protect her. As he failed to protect Kikyo. Kagome had survived without him, as Kikyo had. Kikyo had made her contempt known, and Kagome had been claimed by his brother, the Taiyoukai. There was nothing for him there.

"Do not deny ye self happiness, InuYasha." Kaede said, her words imprinting across his mind. "Ye deserve it as much as any."

The old miko's calloused palm came up to grip his arm in a warm clasp of understanding. "Seek ye own forgiveness, my son." With that sage advice, the elderly miko turned her back on him and knelt down beside the dampened fire, her fingers taking up the abandoned work she had left to investigate their arrival.

Suddenly freed, InuYasha sprang for the door, sweeping past the startled monk and neko youkai who had taken up residence on the steps. Miroku's startled question was cut off and ignored.

"Hey! What's wrong, InuYasha?"

The red glow of the neko youkai's eyes was the only answer to the monk's query, the hanyou had already disappeared.