InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Prophecy ❯ Don't Hurt Yourself ( Chapter 40 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: mshutts 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Psychological / Hentai | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 04.06.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.0K | Visits: 2.5K | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Psychological / Hentai | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 04.06.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.0K | Visits: 2.5K | Status: Work In Progress
The Prophecy
By: mshutts
WARNING: incest, but, if you are in this section, you should already know that
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any other characters here-in
* * * * *
Chapter 39: Don’t Hurt Yourself
He was trapped. There was no way for him to break free. He watched as they battled in front of him, ignoring his presence. He had been trying to break out of this cage they had him in for what felt like an eternity, but they had sealed it tight.
He had tried to scream, but it did not seem like anyone could hear him. Or, if they could, they weren’t answering. He had no idea how long he had been stuck in this place, time had no meaning here. He once again turned his attention to the forces that were battling it out in front of him.
His demon side was shouting about being a good mate. A good beta mate was submissive to its alpha mate. A good beta did not purposely try to piss off its alpha. A good beta paid attention to its alpha and tried to do what its alpha wanted it to do. It was just the way things were. The way they were supposed to be.
However, his human side was just as furious. He was insisting that Sesshoumaru had done absolutely nothing to earn his submission and/or trust. Sesshoumaru had not shown himself to be worthy of either of those things yet. There was no reason for blind submission to him. Despite the fact that he was the alpha mate, which, his human side was quick to point out, had not been his decision, there was no reason to give him control.
His demon side was insisting back that they were made for one another. The witch had even said so. There was no other for either of them. He was also insisting that his human side should be happy it got the mate it was supposed to have.
His human side did not see it that way, he saw that he now had an overly controlling mate who would try and run his life. He saw the violence in the actions towards him when he did not immediately obey, when he did not instantaneously submit.
His demon side was saying that it was his right as alpha to punish the beta for not submitting. There was no way he could expect such a powerful youkai as his mate to allow this level of disobedience from his beta. As the beta, it was his duty to submit. It was his obligation to appease the alpha.
His human side was insisting he had never had to placate anyone before in his life and he was not about to start now with that bastard he called a brother. And his human side brought them back to the point that Sesshoumaru had done absolutely nothing to prove that he was even worthy of the title of ‘mate’ let alone that he would be a good one.
And it continued on from there. The two of them had been going at it for what felt like ages already and were showing no signs of stopping any time soon. If it were not for the fact that it was two parts of his own mind fighting over his own future, he might have found the argument to be more interesting. As it was, the fight outside was just as terrifying to him as the fact that he could not escape from this prison of his.
The dispute playing out in front of him had long since become circular in nature. Neither side was willing to give in on anything and they both refused to listen to him. Normally, he would step in and mediate a compromise between the two or even just shove one of the sides out of the picture entirely, but they were having none of it this time. In fact, that was how he had ended up in this captivity in the first place.
He had tried to step in between the fight between his human and demon sides. Needless to say, neither had appreciated it. And, in a rare show of solidarity, they had worked together to put him in this cage until they had a chance to conclude this argument in their own way. Listening to the discussion, he realized that they were not going to be resolving anything any time soon.
With a sigh, Inuyasha’s hanyou self, which normally had control over his general consciousness, just sat back, wondering what was going on in the world outside his head. He was sure that some time must have passed there, he just had no idea how much.
He wondered what Sesshoumaru’s reaction had been to him blacking out on him. ‘He probably got pissed that he didn’t get a chance to force me into submission,’ he thought, ignoring momentarily that it was his elder brother’s desire to force him into submission that had got him into this mess in the first place.
But the real question was what he was doing now. Concentrating a little harder, he realized that he could still feel his older brother around him. ‘So he didn’t decide to abandon me. Why wouldn’t he have abandoned me?’ It didn’t make sense to Inuyasha. His brother should have left him.
The most he had learned to expect from the youkai lord would be for him to have possibly taken him back to his friends for them to take care of him. But he wouldn’t have even thought Sesshoumaru would do that much. It just didn’t fit with what he knew of his brother. It didn’t matter that he was now mated to his brother, there was still little love lost between them. All he needed for evidence of that was his brother’s behavior right before he had passed out.
Suddenly another thought occurred to him. What if it wasn’t about him at all? What if it was about the possible pups? What if the only reason his elder brother was watching out for him was because of the pups that he might be carrying now? That sounded much more like the older brother he was used to.
His mind made up on that issue, he allowed it to wander to the topic of his friends. He had told Shippo to tell them not to worry and that he would be back soon, but he knew that, once Kagome was back and heard what the kitsune had to say, she was not going to leave it at that. She was going to insist that they come find him immediately.
And that made Inuyasha worry. He had intended to be back before Kagome had returned. He did not want his group traveling unprotected through the woods during mating season. It was not a safe time for them to be out and about. He hoped that they knew that.
By all rights, Sango and Kirara at the very least should know that, but he had been surprised before. For all the knowledge that the slayer had about killing youkai, she sometimes had surprisingly little about what youkai were actually like when you were not trying to kill them. He idly wondered if she even knew the signs to look out for with mating season.
He tried to remember if she had noticed them last year, but, since he had been with the group and purposely found an excuse to keep them grounded during the entire moon cycle, he was unsure if she had noticed the changes. She hadn’t said anything to him about it, if she had. Then again, Sango rarely talked to him, seeming to prefer the company of Kagome or even Miroku.
He supposed it might come from the fact that he was a half-demon. She had been taught to fight his kind her whole life. But for the fact that she appeared to have no problem with Shippo or Kirara, he would have thought that she had a grudge against youkai in general. ‘Maybe it’s only the less cute and cuddly youkai she has a problem with,’ he mused.
It almost made him wonder why she had decided to come with them at all, but he already knew the answer to that question. Kagome. That girl had the singular ability to get anyone to do almost anything. She had gotten him to open up more than he had since he was a young pup. She had gotten Miroku to join their group, although he had yet to decide if that blessing or a curse. She had convinced Sango to come with them as well.
She had also managed to amass quite the male harem. It used to bother him. After all, wasn’t it obvious that she was HIS alpha female? Even if they weren’t mates, that much should have been a given. But he supposed that humans didn’t really think of things that way, and, with the exception of Kouga, every one of them was human. All they saw was a nice girl that was too kind-hearted for her own good. Besides, wasn’t that why he had liked her in the first place himself?
She had made him feel like maybe being a hanyou wasn’t such a big deal. Maybe there wasn’t something so wrong with him that he should have been killed at birth to save the rest of the world from his deformity. Maybe it was even possible to be a hanyou and be happy.
He had been a fool. He had listened to her even though he knew he shouldn’t have. His demon side had insisted that nothing she was saying could be true, it went against everything that he had ever learned through his rather difficult life. But his human side, his human side had been enraptured. His human side had loved what this girl was saying and was willing to believe every word that came out of her mouth. His human side had wanted her.
And he, the mediator between the two worlds that existed simultaneously inside his head, he allowed himself to be drawn in. He had allowed himself to put aside the reality that his youki did not see her as an appropriate mate. The truth that he would have to leave her, that she would have to leave him. He forced himself not to think about it even as he counted down the days to her final departure from his time.
And now, now he was bound to his older brother. He could not have her any longer. He would have to let her go, but he found he didn’t want to. Inuyasha wanted to hold on to her even tighter because he knew she would not ask anything of him that he truly did not want to give or do. She was safe. He knew what she wanted.
His brother, however, he had no idea what his brother wanted of him. His own mate was a complete mystery to him. As he thought back over the years, he realized that Sesshoumaru was an absolute contradiction. His attitudes and desires seemed to change depending on what day he saw him.
He could remember times of almost happiness with his brother when he was much younger. He could remember following his scent to wherever he was and talking to him. But he could also remember times of being beaten, instances of such hatred from the same being. He had never known what to expect from his brother.
And now that he was his mate, he still had no idea what to expect from him. He tried to think about it rationally. And, without his human and demon sides buffeting him with their mixed signals, he found himself in a unique position to think on the issue in peace.
He knew that Sesshoumaru had major control issues. He had just had people doing whatever he wanted them to do for too long. And that translated over into everything in his life. As Sesshoumaru’s mate, he, too, would be expected to be under Sesshoumaru’s control. He would be expected to bend to the whims of the older youkai.
Even as he scoffed at the idea of bending to anything his elder brother wanted of him, he understood that it might be better for him in the long run if he at least made an attempt to occasionally give in. It wasn’t like the control issue was going to go away any time soon. But maybe, if he could at least PRETEND to give in on occasion, it would make his life with his new mate easier.
He knew that his demon side would go along with this wholeheartedly, but his human side would fight it. After all, he had spent almost his entire life fighting for his very survival against everything. He had learned to rely on himself and not look to others for things. He had learned that he couldn’t do it anyone else’s way, he had to do it his own way.
But he had also found that he was tired of living like this. He was quickly getting to the point where he was considering just giving up on it entirely. The fact that he now had a mate was part of that. As a mate, he would have to rely on someone else. He would have to be responsible for someone else. He would no longer be able to live in his own little universe.
Even if he had been the alpha mate, his entire life still would have changed. At the very least, he would have had yet another individual he was answerable for, another person that would look to him for protection. He wasn’t even full-grown yet. There was no reason for him to already have so many counting on him for their very lives and yet, he did.
He was just so tired of being in charge of people. Before he had been sealed to the tree, he had only been responsible for himself. He had not had to worry about what was going on with anyone else. He didn’t have to think ahead to where they were going to sleep, what they were going to eat, if they should go right through or travel around various obstacles, or worry when he was in battle that one of his group was going to get hurt.
He loved being with his friends, but they could really be a hassle some times. However, now there was another problem. Now that he was Sesshoumaru’s mate, he could not just go off. His demon side made him incapable of disobeying a direct order from his alpha mate and he was sure that Sesshoumaru would not allow him to go back to his group.
But, despite his concerns for the safety of the entire group, he was finding himself more worried for Shippo than for the rest of them. Shippo was not like they were. He was a child, and a demon child at that. Shippo could not be allowed to be raised by humans without him present to at least temper it a bit. He would grow up too soft and get killed well before he reached adolescence. Even with him there that was a very real possibility. Without his presence, he shuddered to think of it.
No, Shippo would not be allowed to stay with them if Inuyasha was not going to be there. He would just have to inform his mate that they were going to be coming into possession of a kitsune soon. He was sure Shippo and Rin would get along wonderfully. They certainly both seemed to laugh enough.
But if he was going to keep the kitsune with him, he was going to need to put some more effort into his training. The level Shippo was currently at was ridiculously low. At the very least, Shippo should be able to track, and he knew that the kitsune was only passable on that skill. No, he would have to sit down with Shippo and lay down the rules.
He briefly considered what to do if the kitsune wanted to stay with Kagome instead, but pushed that thought aside. Shippo was not yet old enough to make those types of decisions on his own and, as the alpha male in their group, Inuyasha’s decision would be final. He just hoped the kitsune wouldn’t hate him for it.
Glad that he had reached at least some conclusion out of this whole mess, Inuyasha glanced once more at the fighting going on outside his cell. They were both still going strong. With a sigh, he closed his eyes, at least one part of his mind might as well get some rest.
* * * * *
Confused? That whole thing was inside Inuyasha’s head, while he’s unconscious. We were listening to the ‘middle man’, the one that is the ‘normal’ Inuyasha while his human and demon sides were fighting out dominance issues. Hope that makes a little more sense.
Thank you for reading and/or reviewing. I love both.
By: mshutts
WARNING: incest, but, if you are in this section, you should already know that
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any other characters here-in
* * * * *
Chapter 39: Don’t Hurt Yourself
He was trapped. There was no way for him to break free. He watched as they battled in front of him, ignoring his presence. He had been trying to break out of this cage they had him in for what felt like an eternity, but they had sealed it tight.
He had tried to scream, but it did not seem like anyone could hear him. Or, if they could, they weren’t answering. He had no idea how long he had been stuck in this place, time had no meaning here. He once again turned his attention to the forces that were battling it out in front of him.
His demon side was shouting about being a good mate. A good beta mate was submissive to its alpha mate. A good beta did not purposely try to piss off its alpha. A good beta paid attention to its alpha and tried to do what its alpha wanted it to do. It was just the way things were. The way they were supposed to be.
However, his human side was just as furious. He was insisting that Sesshoumaru had done absolutely nothing to earn his submission and/or trust. Sesshoumaru had not shown himself to be worthy of either of those things yet. There was no reason for blind submission to him. Despite the fact that he was the alpha mate, which, his human side was quick to point out, had not been his decision, there was no reason to give him control.
His demon side was insisting back that they were made for one another. The witch had even said so. There was no other for either of them. He was also insisting that his human side should be happy it got the mate it was supposed to have.
His human side did not see it that way, he saw that he now had an overly controlling mate who would try and run his life. He saw the violence in the actions towards him when he did not immediately obey, when he did not instantaneously submit.
His demon side was saying that it was his right as alpha to punish the beta for not submitting. There was no way he could expect such a powerful youkai as his mate to allow this level of disobedience from his beta. As the beta, it was his duty to submit. It was his obligation to appease the alpha.
His human side was insisting he had never had to placate anyone before in his life and he was not about to start now with that bastard he called a brother. And his human side brought them back to the point that Sesshoumaru had done absolutely nothing to prove that he was even worthy of the title of ‘mate’ let alone that he would be a good one.
And it continued on from there. The two of them had been going at it for what felt like ages already and were showing no signs of stopping any time soon. If it were not for the fact that it was two parts of his own mind fighting over his own future, he might have found the argument to be more interesting. As it was, the fight outside was just as terrifying to him as the fact that he could not escape from this prison of his.
The dispute playing out in front of him had long since become circular in nature. Neither side was willing to give in on anything and they both refused to listen to him. Normally, he would step in and mediate a compromise between the two or even just shove one of the sides out of the picture entirely, but they were having none of it this time. In fact, that was how he had ended up in this captivity in the first place.
He had tried to step in between the fight between his human and demon sides. Needless to say, neither had appreciated it. And, in a rare show of solidarity, they had worked together to put him in this cage until they had a chance to conclude this argument in their own way. Listening to the discussion, he realized that they were not going to be resolving anything any time soon.
With a sigh, Inuyasha’s hanyou self, which normally had control over his general consciousness, just sat back, wondering what was going on in the world outside his head. He was sure that some time must have passed there, he just had no idea how much.
He wondered what Sesshoumaru’s reaction had been to him blacking out on him. ‘He probably got pissed that he didn’t get a chance to force me into submission,’ he thought, ignoring momentarily that it was his elder brother’s desire to force him into submission that had got him into this mess in the first place.
But the real question was what he was doing now. Concentrating a little harder, he realized that he could still feel his older brother around him. ‘So he didn’t decide to abandon me. Why wouldn’t he have abandoned me?’ It didn’t make sense to Inuyasha. His brother should have left him.
The most he had learned to expect from the youkai lord would be for him to have possibly taken him back to his friends for them to take care of him. But he wouldn’t have even thought Sesshoumaru would do that much. It just didn’t fit with what he knew of his brother. It didn’t matter that he was now mated to his brother, there was still little love lost between them. All he needed for evidence of that was his brother’s behavior right before he had passed out.
Suddenly another thought occurred to him. What if it wasn’t about him at all? What if it was about the possible pups? What if the only reason his elder brother was watching out for him was because of the pups that he might be carrying now? That sounded much more like the older brother he was used to.
His mind made up on that issue, he allowed it to wander to the topic of his friends. He had told Shippo to tell them not to worry and that he would be back soon, but he knew that, once Kagome was back and heard what the kitsune had to say, she was not going to leave it at that. She was going to insist that they come find him immediately.
And that made Inuyasha worry. He had intended to be back before Kagome had returned. He did not want his group traveling unprotected through the woods during mating season. It was not a safe time for them to be out and about. He hoped that they knew that.
By all rights, Sango and Kirara at the very least should know that, but he had been surprised before. For all the knowledge that the slayer had about killing youkai, she sometimes had surprisingly little about what youkai were actually like when you were not trying to kill them. He idly wondered if she even knew the signs to look out for with mating season.
He tried to remember if she had noticed them last year, but, since he had been with the group and purposely found an excuse to keep them grounded during the entire moon cycle, he was unsure if she had noticed the changes. She hadn’t said anything to him about it, if she had. Then again, Sango rarely talked to him, seeming to prefer the company of Kagome or even Miroku.
He supposed it might come from the fact that he was a half-demon. She had been taught to fight his kind her whole life. But for the fact that she appeared to have no problem with Shippo or Kirara, he would have thought that she had a grudge against youkai in general. ‘Maybe it’s only the less cute and cuddly youkai she has a problem with,’ he mused.
It almost made him wonder why she had decided to come with them at all, but he already knew the answer to that question. Kagome. That girl had the singular ability to get anyone to do almost anything. She had gotten him to open up more than he had since he was a young pup. She had gotten Miroku to join their group, although he had yet to decide if that blessing or a curse. She had convinced Sango to come with them as well.
She had also managed to amass quite the male harem. It used to bother him. After all, wasn’t it obvious that she was HIS alpha female? Even if they weren’t mates, that much should have been a given. But he supposed that humans didn’t really think of things that way, and, with the exception of Kouga, every one of them was human. All they saw was a nice girl that was too kind-hearted for her own good. Besides, wasn’t that why he had liked her in the first place himself?
She had made him feel like maybe being a hanyou wasn’t such a big deal. Maybe there wasn’t something so wrong with him that he should have been killed at birth to save the rest of the world from his deformity. Maybe it was even possible to be a hanyou and be happy.
He had been a fool. He had listened to her even though he knew he shouldn’t have. His demon side had insisted that nothing she was saying could be true, it went against everything that he had ever learned through his rather difficult life. But his human side, his human side had been enraptured. His human side had loved what this girl was saying and was willing to believe every word that came out of her mouth. His human side had wanted her.
And he, the mediator between the two worlds that existed simultaneously inside his head, he allowed himself to be drawn in. He had allowed himself to put aside the reality that his youki did not see her as an appropriate mate. The truth that he would have to leave her, that she would have to leave him. He forced himself not to think about it even as he counted down the days to her final departure from his time.
And now, now he was bound to his older brother. He could not have her any longer. He would have to let her go, but he found he didn’t want to. Inuyasha wanted to hold on to her even tighter because he knew she would not ask anything of him that he truly did not want to give or do. She was safe. He knew what she wanted.
His brother, however, he had no idea what his brother wanted of him. His own mate was a complete mystery to him. As he thought back over the years, he realized that Sesshoumaru was an absolute contradiction. His attitudes and desires seemed to change depending on what day he saw him.
He could remember times of almost happiness with his brother when he was much younger. He could remember following his scent to wherever he was and talking to him. But he could also remember times of being beaten, instances of such hatred from the same being. He had never known what to expect from his brother.
And now that he was his mate, he still had no idea what to expect from him. He tried to think about it rationally. And, without his human and demon sides buffeting him with their mixed signals, he found himself in a unique position to think on the issue in peace.
He knew that Sesshoumaru had major control issues. He had just had people doing whatever he wanted them to do for too long. And that translated over into everything in his life. As Sesshoumaru’s mate, he, too, would be expected to be under Sesshoumaru’s control. He would be expected to bend to the whims of the older youkai.
Even as he scoffed at the idea of bending to anything his elder brother wanted of him, he understood that it might be better for him in the long run if he at least made an attempt to occasionally give in. It wasn’t like the control issue was going to go away any time soon. But maybe, if he could at least PRETEND to give in on occasion, it would make his life with his new mate easier.
He knew that his demon side would go along with this wholeheartedly, but his human side would fight it. After all, he had spent almost his entire life fighting for his very survival against everything. He had learned to rely on himself and not look to others for things. He had learned that he couldn’t do it anyone else’s way, he had to do it his own way.
But he had also found that he was tired of living like this. He was quickly getting to the point where he was considering just giving up on it entirely. The fact that he now had a mate was part of that. As a mate, he would have to rely on someone else. He would have to be responsible for someone else. He would no longer be able to live in his own little universe.
Even if he had been the alpha mate, his entire life still would have changed. At the very least, he would have had yet another individual he was answerable for, another person that would look to him for protection. He wasn’t even full-grown yet. There was no reason for him to already have so many counting on him for their very lives and yet, he did.
He was just so tired of being in charge of people. Before he had been sealed to the tree, he had only been responsible for himself. He had not had to worry about what was going on with anyone else. He didn’t have to think ahead to where they were going to sleep, what they were going to eat, if they should go right through or travel around various obstacles, or worry when he was in battle that one of his group was going to get hurt.
He loved being with his friends, but they could really be a hassle some times. However, now there was another problem. Now that he was Sesshoumaru’s mate, he could not just go off. His demon side made him incapable of disobeying a direct order from his alpha mate and he was sure that Sesshoumaru would not allow him to go back to his group.
But, despite his concerns for the safety of the entire group, he was finding himself more worried for Shippo than for the rest of them. Shippo was not like they were. He was a child, and a demon child at that. Shippo could not be allowed to be raised by humans without him present to at least temper it a bit. He would grow up too soft and get killed well before he reached adolescence. Even with him there that was a very real possibility. Without his presence, he shuddered to think of it.
No, Shippo would not be allowed to stay with them if Inuyasha was not going to be there. He would just have to inform his mate that they were going to be coming into possession of a kitsune soon. He was sure Shippo and Rin would get along wonderfully. They certainly both seemed to laugh enough.
But if he was going to keep the kitsune with him, he was going to need to put some more effort into his training. The level Shippo was currently at was ridiculously low. At the very least, Shippo should be able to track, and he knew that the kitsune was only passable on that skill. No, he would have to sit down with Shippo and lay down the rules.
He briefly considered what to do if the kitsune wanted to stay with Kagome instead, but pushed that thought aside. Shippo was not yet old enough to make those types of decisions on his own and, as the alpha male in their group, Inuyasha’s decision would be final. He just hoped the kitsune wouldn’t hate him for it.
Glad that he had reached at least some conclusion out of this whole mess, Inuyasha glanced once more at the fighting going on outside his cell. They were both still going strong. With a sigh, he closed his eyes, at least one part of his mind might as well get some rest.
* * * * *
Confused? That whole thing was inside Inuyasha’s head, while he’s unconscious. We were listening to the ‘middle man’, the one that is the ‘normal’ Inuyasha while his human and demon sides were fighting out dominance issues. Hope that makes a little more sense.
Thank you for reading and/or reviewing. I love both.