InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Runaway Heart ❯ Dreams Best Forgotten ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

 

 

Dreams…Most of the time they are the blissful part of sleep usually filled with happy memories or images of how one would like life to be.  For some, however, they are unwanted memories, or nightmares, if you will.  Memories which are best forgotten.

 

 

 

Kagome is sleeping restlessly, her dreams garbled somewhat.  Her dream is filled with images of what may be her past, mixed with images of her modern-day life as well as those from the feudal era, not making much sense to her at all.  Finally, the chaotic scene parts, revealing the image of a large forest, and as if she is walking into that forest, she sees herself pushing her way through thick bushes while passing many trees until she eventually stumbles into an area, she doesn’t wish to be in.

 

 

 

In this strange area, she finds a tall handsome young demon, with long silver white hair laughing while talking quietly to a very beautiful young woman, wearing priestess clothing, leaning back against a tall old tree.  Kagome notices the two are very close, embracing each other; their bodies touching in a most intimate way.  It’s as if they're in heavy conversation, oblivious to anything or anyone who should be standing around watching them.  The beautiful young woman smiles.  Lifting and gently placing her arms around the young demon's neck, she whispers softly in his ear.  The demon responds by smiling lovingly, as his face slowly lowers toward the priestess.  The demon then…then.

 

 

 

(No!  Stop!)  Kagome’s dream suddenly becomes fuzzy as if she’s being quickly pulled back from that disturbing vision.  As it does, she becomes frightened and her heart beats faster as her breathing becomes uneven.  The young miko continues forcing herself back…way back from the strange, unwanted, image until she quickly opens her eyes.

 

 

 

Panting, Kagome quickly looks to her left and then to her right, wondering what it was that caused her sudden distress.  She breathes deeply and sighs.  (A dream?  It felt so real.  But dreams aren’t real.  Still, I feel there was something to it.  Something I should remember.  But what?  And why do I feel so frightened by it?)  The young miko looks around her finding an old woman with one eye, wearing priestess clothing, standing nearby.  She has a look of worry and concern etched deep in her features.

 

 

 

“Um…excuse…”

 

 

 

“Kagome?” asks an old voice hesitantly. 

 

 

 

“Oh um…hey,” she says with uncertainty while slowly sitting up.

 

 

 

“Tis good to see ye have finally awakened, child,” smiles Kaede.  “When Sango brought ye to me ye were quite pale, and I was greatly concerned.”

 

 

 

“I’ve not been feeling too well lately.  Guess I was really tired.”  Kagome looks, strangely, at the old woman; feeling a strong bond between them she can’t quite understand.  She looks closer at the one-eyed old woman finding, like all the others, she can't seem to place her.

 

 

 

“Is something wrong child?” asks the old priestess concerned.

 

 

 

“Huh?”

 

 

 

“Ye seem confused.  Is there something ye wish to tell me?”

 

 

 

Noticing the old priestess looking at her expectantly the young miko looks away and blushes.  “Um, well no.  I was just...  How long was I asleep?”

 

 

 

“Almost a day.”

 

 

 

“Oh.  I see.”  Kagome looks down at her tightly clasped hands.  “That long huh?”

 

 

 

“Aye,” replies the old priestess with a nod.  Keade becomes concerned of how unusually quiet Kagome was being.  “Kagome, are ye alright child?”

 

 

 

Kagome quickly looks up.  “What?”

 

 

 

“Ye seem upset.  Was not your visit home successful?”

 

 

 

“My visit?”  The young miko, wondering what visit Kaede could be referring to, slightly shrugs her shoulders.  “I guess so.”

 

 

 

“Hmm.”

 

 

 

“Um…”  Kagome offers a small uncertain smile.  “May I ask you something?”

 

 

 

“Ye may ask me anything,” replies the old priestess with a slow nod.  “What be on your mind, child?”

 

 

 

“This might sound a bit strange, but, uh…well I was wondering…do we know each other?”

 

 

 

“Hmm?”

 

 

 

“Are we related somehow?” asks the young miko expectantly.  “My grandmother perhaps?  Is this my home?”

 

 

 

“Ye do not know me Kagome?” asks the old priestess surprised.

 

 

 

“Not really.  It’s not just you, you understand.  Sango or…or that Miroku person?  I don’t seem to remember them either.”

 

 

 

“I see,” asks the old priestess concerned.  “And ye know not where ye be?”

 

 

 

“Um um,” Kagome gives a slight shake of her head.  “Not a clue.  I was looking for my home when I came here.  So, was this my village at one time?  Do I have any relatives here?”

 

 

 

“Hmm.”  The old priestess, looking worried, kneels before Kagome and places her hand on her forehead.  “Tis strange ye memories would be lost child,” says Kaede as she sits back.  “Ye are not warm, so fever be not the cause, nor can any injuries be found on your person which could lead to such a condition.  What manner of demon has caused ye to be this way?”

 

 

 

(Demon?)  Kagome slightly shrugs her shoulders.  “Oh, I’m all right.  Had a little run in with a rock last night though.  Now my head just hurts and the pain doesn’t seem to want to go away for some reason.  I’m a little embarrassed about it.  I mean who purposely runs into rocks?  So um…who exactly are you?”

 

 

 

“I am called Kaede,” replies the old miko placing a weathered hand to her chest.  “Priestess of this village.”

 

 

 

“Priestess?”

 

 

 

“Aye.”

 

 

 

(Well, that explains the brewing herbs.)  “I’m …I’m Kagome,” says the young miko with a shaky smile.  “But I…guess you already know that, huh?”

 

 

 

A jingling sound could be heard from outside the hut coming closer.  The flap is raised and Miroku enters followed by an anxious InuYasha who upon entering begins sniffing the air.

 

 

 

“What are ye doing, InuYasha?” asks Kaede curiously.  The throbbing sensation in Kagome head worsens so she closes her eyes tightly.

 

 

 

Upon confirming his suspicions that it is indeed Kagome and not a strange demon looks suspiciously at the young miko.  “Just where, in hell, did you run off to, wench?!  Huh?!” shouts the hanyou.  “Why didn’t you come back here?!  Didn’t you even care how worried you had these humans last night?”  Each question from the upset hanyou gets louder accompanied with his growling and frightened, Kagome quickly scoots closer to the old woman and grabs her arm.  “You’d better have a damn good rea …

 

 

 

“Stop ye barking, InuYasha!” commands Kaede sternly, grabbing the young miko’s trembling hand.  The hanyou’s eyes widen at the stern tone of the old priestess’ voice.  “Can ye not see ye are upsetting this child?!”

 

 

 

“Upsetting her?” asks the hanyou.

 

 

 

“Aye.” 

 

 

 

The old priestess is referring to Kagome’s trembling as well as the tears filling her eyes, for the name, InuYasha, hurt Kagome more this time, not only in her head but in her heart as well.  Kagome tightens her grip on the old priestess’s arm while scooting closer.  The young hanyou, seeing just how frightened the young miko has become, relents and looks shamefully to the floor of the hut.

 

 

 

“Forgive me, Kagome,” he says repentantly and slightly shrugs his shoulders.  “I didn’t mean nothing by it.  It’s just I was worried when you didn’t come home last night.”  The hanyou eyes widen.  (Home?  Why did I say that for?  This isn’t Kagome’s home.  It’s my home.)

 

 

 

When Kaede feels the young miko begin trembling more, she gently pats her hand.  “I think it best ye leave, now InuYasha.”

 

 

 

The hanyou is snapped from his confusing thoughts.  “What?” says the hanyou surprised with the suggestion.  “Leave?  I apologized, didn’t I?  Why the hell should I have to leave?”

 

 

 

Miroku, hearing the hanyou begin to quietly growl, then speaks before his friend could start an argument with the old priestess and possibly add to the young miko’s distress.

 

 

 

“Tell me Lady Kaede.  Is there perhaps something wrong with Kagome?  Is she ill perhaps?”  The monk’s question quickly silences the hanyou.  “I couldn’t help but notice how very pale she is.  And then there’s her strange demeanor and headaches.”

 

 

 

“The young lass must have had a very troubling night, Miroku.  So she’s very tired.”  The old priestess gently smiles while removing Kagome’s hand from her arm.  “Ye are safe, child.  No one here will harm ye.”

 

 

 

“Are you sure?” asks Kagome timidly avoiding the hanyou’s gaze.

 

 

 

“Aye.  They are our friends,” she says and slowly rises.  “They know well not to start any trouble here.”

 

 

 

“Where are you going?” asks Kagome concerned watching the old priestess.

 

 

 

“To my garden,” replies the old priestess.  “I need ingredients for our dinner tonight, as well as herbs to help with your pain.”

 

 

 

“Oh.  Let me help you,” offers Kagome slowly rising.

 

 

 

“No child,” says Keade, “It be best ye lie there and rest.  I’m sure these two strong lads will help me with what I need.  And perhaps once ye have had more time to settle down all will become clearer to ye.”

 

 

 

“Oh.  Ok,” says Kagome hesitantly lying back on her sleeping bag, drawing the blanket up to her nose.  “You won’t be long, will you?”

 

 

 

(Just what the hell’s going on here,) thought InuYasha, listening to this strange conversation?  (Kagome won’t even look at me.  Could she really be that upset by what she saw last night?)

 

 

 

“I shan’t be long, child.  Now rest.  If ye should need me just call out and I’ll return,” says the old priestess before turning her attention to the males in the room.  “Now…ye two…  Come with me.”

 

 

 

The old priestess proceeds to lead the two outside her hut to where Kagome can't overhear their conversation and stops to look at the monk and hanyou worriedly.

 

 

 

“Alright, old hag,” says InuYasha.  “Ya got us out here.  What is it already?”

 

 

 

“InuYasha…Miroku.  Do either of ye know where Kagome was last evening?”  InuYasha looking slightly shameful looks to the monk.  The two young males look at the old priestess while slightly shaking their heads.  “Tis strange indeed,” says Kaede concerned.

 

 

 

“What’s this about Kaede?  Didn’t Kagome go home last night?” asks the monk curiously.  The old priestess slowly shakes her head.  “I see.  Well did Kagome perchance say where she was last night?”

 

 

 

“Nay,” replies the old priestess.  “And that be not the worst of it Miroku.  It would seem the young one, in there, is lost, and is not aware of where she is or who we are at this time.”

 

 

 

“She doesn’t know any of us?” asks the young monk surprised.

 

 

 

“Nay, she does not.”

 

 

 

“That is strange, Kaede.  But Kagome at least knows who she is, correct?”

 

 

 

“Aye,” replies Kaede with a nod.  “But I’m afraid that is about the extent of her knowledge.”

 

 

 

“Oh, come on, old hag!” exclaims the hanyou with a growl while pointing back toward the hut.  “There’s no damn way Kagome can’t know us.  We’ve been around that wench for more than three years now!”

 

 

 

“This is true, InuYasha,” replies the priestess.  “We have.  But even so Kagome has lost her memory.  Even the time she has shared with us is unknown to her.”

 

 

 

“What of her life beyond the well?” asks Miroku.  “Surely she remembers that.”

 

 

 

“I do not know Miroku.  Kagome has not made mention of it if she did.”

 

 

 

The half demon frowns.  It's inconceivable the young miko would forget him.  He’s been her protector the whole time since she came to this era.  Not liking where this particular conversation is going InuYasha turns and begins walking back toward the hut.

 

 

 

“InuYasha?!” says Kaede worried.

 

 

 

“Where are you going, InuYasha?” asks Miroku.

 

 

 

“Look!” replies the half demon angrily.  “It was me she met first in this era, right?  The wench has to remember me.  So, I’m going back in there and talk some sense to that wench; find out if she’s faking it or not.”  InuYasha again stomps off toward the hut

 

 

 

Miroku hurries after the hanyou and quickly grabs his arm.  “No, you’re not!”

 

 

 

“Just what the fuck do you think you’re doing, monk?!” growls the hanyou, shaking his arm.  “Let go of me!”

 

 

 

“It would not be wise, InuYasha, if ye were to confront Kagome now,” says Kaede anxiously.

 

 

 

“Why the hell not, old hag?” InuYasha pauses, anger growing in his eyes.  “We got a right ain’t we, to know if she’s lying or not?”

 

 

 

“Leave her be,” commands Kaede.

 

 

 

“Damn it, I’m not going to fucking hurt the wench if that’s what you’re so damned worried about,” explains the hanyou.  “I just wanna talk to her.”

 

 

 

“I believe what Lady Kaede is so concerned about, InuYasha,” explains Miroku patiently, “is Kagome’s state of mind.  She looked very frightened just now.  And Kaede and I believe it would be much better, for Kagome, if she were to seek us out first instead of us forcing ourselves on her.”

 

 

 

“Aye,” says Kaede with a nod.

 

 

 

“WHAT?!” asks the hanyou with surprise as he looks to between the humans standing with him.  “Are you fucking serious?”

 

 

 

“Yes,” replies Miroku with a nod.  “We would only frighten Kagome more if we were to start demanding answers, she herself has no knowledge of at this time.”

 

 

 

“You do know it’s Kagome we’re talking about here, don’t ya monk?” says InuYasha impatiently.  “We’ve all seen Kagome face down demons, monsters without batting an eye!  Hell, she’s even taken on Sesshomaru, for Kami sake.”

 

 

 

“Aye she has InuYasha,” says Kaede.  “Yet Sesshomaru may be unknown to her as well.”

 

 

 

“Keh!  I doubt that old woman.  No one forgets that bastard.  No, that wench is just faking this shit.”

 

 

 

“And what would be her reason for doing so, may I ask?” asks the monk.

 

 

 

“Who the hell knows.  Kagome may want to use it as some excuse for her to go back to that strange world of hers for all we know.  And we ain’t got the fucking time to be, pampering her ass now!!”

 

 

 

“Kagome would not do such a thing, InuYasha,” says the old priestess sternly.

 

 

 

“Why the hell not?” asks the hanyou angrily.  “Ain’t you humans always…always doing some shit like this?!”

 

 

 

“Perhaps others would be guilty of such an act,” reasons Kaede.  “But not Kagome.”

 

 

 

“Then damn it, what about Naraku huh?  What about the shards we’re supposed to be gathering?  Think she’s forgotten about them as well?”

 

 

 

Kaede sighs.  “InuYasha…I know ye are anxious to find Naraku and the shards.”

 

 

 

“Damn right, ya old hag!  It’s what we all want, ain’t it?”

 

 

 

“Aye, tis true, we do.  But Kagome is very confused at this time.  I doubt she’ll be able to find the shards in the condition she’s in.  And I’m afraid she won’t be able to help ye, until her memories return.”

 

 

 

“Keh!  Yeah right,” InuYasha replies sarcastically rolling his eyes.  “Her memories!”

 

 

 

“Ye must think of Kagome’s welfare InuYasha,” says Miroku.  “At the moment Kagome is very wary of us.  If we were to frighten her much more she may run away.  And that could be the moment Naraku would be waiting for.  To finally have the opportunity, to find and capture Kagome when she’s most vulnerable.”

 

 

 

“So?” asks the hanyou.  “We’ll all be there to protect her, won’t we?  She won’t be any danger.”

 

 

 

“Perhaps but I, for one, refuse to go out there until Kagome has retrieved her memories,” says Miroku.  “There are too many dangers out there waiting for us.  Dangers Kagome will have to face, and without her memories, she may be killed.  We can’t afford to lose her like that.”

 

 

 

“Yeah, yeah. But what about that wind tunnel of yours monk?  You want it fixed, don’t ya?”  Miroku nods.  “And what about Sango?”

 

 

 

“What about her?”

 

 

 

“She wants her revenge, right?  She can’t have that if we all just hang around here all the time.  But if we keep gathering all the shards, we’ll eventually run into Naraku.  Then once we kill his damn ass Sango will have her revenge for Kohaku and her kin and your wind tunnel will disappear.”

 

 

 

“And Kagome?”

 

 

 

“She’ll be ok.  After a few battles Kagome’s bound to get her memory back.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Perhaps, but who can say this isn’t Naraku’s doing InuYasha?” says Miroku.  “That this isn’t part of his plan.”

 

 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

 

 

“I mean it’s not beyond him to devise such a deception as this.  Like with Sango’s brother, Kohaku.  Naraku took Kohaku’s memories in order to control Kohaku.  Who’s to say Naraku isn’t trying the same with Kagome?  Who’s to say he’s not out there waiting for her as we speak?”

 

 

 

The young hanyou opens his mouth to argue then closes it to consider the old woman and monk’s words. (Shit!  They’re right,) he thought worriedly.  (If Kagome goes out there now, who’s to say, that bastard won’t be waiting for her?  And if he should get his grubby hands on Kagome, we’ll lose her for sure.)  InuYasha growls.  “Alright you two, you win.  I’ll wait.  But not, because I feel any sympathy for the wench, or because you tell me to, ok?”

 

 

 

“That be very generous of you InuYasha,” says Kaede.

 

 

 

“Generous nothing.  I still think the wench’s faking it.  And if you guys will let me, go talk to her, we can find out for sure.”

 

 

 

“We can’t risk Kagome’s …” begins Miroku.

 

 

 

“Yeah, yeah I heard ya … can’t risk her safety right?  Well I told you guys I’d wait, didn’t I?  But don’t expect me to wait too long!  Those shards are important to us.  A lot more important than any damn memory that stupid wench, may or may not have!  Got it?!”  InuYasha angrily stomps away.

 

 

 

“Where are you going now InuYasha?” asks Miroku curiously.

 

 

 

“None of your fucking business, monk!” growls the hanyou as he continues walking toward the forest.

 

 

 

“What are we going to do about him, Lady Kaede?”

 

 

 

The old priestess deeply sighs and shakes her head.  “He is a stubborn one, to be sure.  And I’m afraid his stubbornness will one day be his undoing.”

 

 

 

“Yes… I agree.”  The monk sighs.  “He doesn’t seem too please with his decision though.  Guess I’d better go and talk to him.  See if I can calm him down a bit, convince him this is the best way to handle Kagome.  I should be back soon.”  Miroku then follows after the angry young hanyou.

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

Early evening Kagome is still feeling quite unsure of herself and those around her.  The young woman shyly looks around the room, finding Kaede cooking the evening meal while listening to Sango and Miroku talk about some great demon and a strange jewel of some sort.

 

 

 

(Shi…kon jewel, huh,) she thought?  (That does sound familiar.  Shikon means four souls, doesn’t it?  I wonder why it’s so important for these guys to want it so badly?  Does it have anything to do with me.  Man is sucks not being able to remember anything.)

 

 

 

The young miko hugs her knees closer to her chest, still fearful of her surroundings.  She listens intently to their conversation until a small furry orange creature walks into her line of vision.

 

 

 

“Kagome?” asks Shippou timidly gaining the miko’s attention.

 

 

 

“Hmm?”

 

 

 

“Um…are you all right now?”

 

 

 

The young miko thinks the little fox is cute so she nods and gives a small smile.  “I think so.”

 

 

 

“Could I um,” asks the fox shyly, “can I sit next to you?”

 

 

 

“If you want to,” she replies quietly.  The young fox breathes a big sigh of relief and walks over to sit beside her.  

 

 

 

“I got really scared Kagome, when you disappeared, last night,” says Shippou.

 

 

 

“I’m sorry,” whispers Kagome.  “I didn’t mean to scare you.  I didn’t mean to scare anyone.”

 

 

 

“That’s ok.”  Big tears form in the little fox's eyes.  “It’s just I thought you left and…and decided not to come back to us anymore.  That you went away leaving me behind.”

 

 

 

“Oh…I see.”

 

 

 

“I always miss you Kagome when you go away.  And last night…when you disappeared, I got scared.  I was gonna to go out and search for you, myself, but that stupid mutt just told me to stay put and out of his way.  But I waited, Kagome.  I waited for him to bring you back to us.  And if he came back here without you… I would have gone out to look for you myself no matter what he told me to do.”

 

 

 

Seeing the tears, and hearing the deep concern in the small fox’s childlike voice, Kagome’s eyes tear up, as well.  She picks the little fox up, in her arms, gives a gentle squeeze and pats his back comfortingly.

 

 

 

“There, there, little guy, don’t cry,” she whispers.  “It’s all right.”

 

 

 

“But…but you were gone, Kagome,” says the small fox with a sniff.  “No one knew where to find you or anything.”

 

 

 

“I know.  But I’m back now, aren’t I?” asks Kagome with an uncertain smile and she again hugs the small fox.

 

 

 

“Um hm,” replies Shippou with a small smile.

 

 

 

“And we’re together again,” says the young miko wiping the wetness from his eyes.  “So no more tears, ok?”

 

 

 

The young fox gives a nod and attempts to wrap his little arms around her, but can't quite make it.  So, he nuzzles the young miko instead and allows her to hold him to her.

 

 

 

“I get scared when you’re gone too long.  Soo don’t go away anymore, Kagome,” he whispers with a quiet sniff.  “Please?”  The young miko gives a short nod in response.

 

 

 

“Hey Miroku,” whispers Sango nudging the monk beside her

 

 

 

“Hmm?”

 

 

 

“Do you see that?  Kagome’s holding Shippou.  And she’s talking to him.”

 

 

 

“Yes I see.”

 

 

 

“I wonder why?”

 

 

 

“I’m not sure, Sango,” replies the monk hesitantly also peering at the two in the corner.  “It could very well be she remembers him.”

 

 

 

“But why would she remember him, and not the rest of us?” asks the slayer confused.  “We’re her friends too, aren’t we?”

 

 

 

“Yes but Shippou is very special to her, almost like her child.  It could be Kagome is simply responding to Shippou without knowing what their relationship actually is.  I’m sure in due time she’ll come to remember us as well.”

 

 

 

“I’ve always noticed how she looks at him, Miroku,” observes the slayer.  “And she’s always protecting him and he her.”

 

 

 

“They have been that way, for as long as I’ve known them, Sango.  Which could explain why they would connect so easily where we could not.”

 

 

 

“Shippou’s really attached to Kagome, isn’t he?  They’re so close, I don’t think we could separate them, even if we wanted to.”

 

 

 

“Very true Sango,” says Miroku rubbing his chin.  “And notice how Kagome doesn’t seem frightened of him as she was of us this afternoon.”

 

 

 

“Yeah.  She looks so calm and relaxed.  And her head doesn’t seem to be bothering her at all right now.  What do you think it means?”

 

 

 

“Hmm,” replies the monk looking around the room.  “Have you noticed Sango?  The only one missing here is InuYasha.”

 

 

 

“InuYasha?” says Sango surprised at the change in subject.  “Hey you’re right.  Come to think of it, Kagome did complain about her head right after I mentioned his name earlier.”

 

 

 

“And the second time was when I mentioned him.”

 

 

 

“Do you think it’s him she’s frightened of?”

 

 

 

“Most likely.  InuYasha does seem to be the catalyst for her headaches.  We must be careful.  Careful not to mention his name while around her.”

 

 

 

“I agree.  I wonder how much longer Kagome will stay this way?” says the slayer.  “I hate this feeling of walking on egg shells when I’m around her.”

 

 

 

“It hasn’t been easy on any of us actually,” says Miroku.  “Especially InuYasha.”

 

 

 

“Don’t you think it’s kind of strange though…Kagome suddenly losing her memory like this?  Perhaps you were right after all Miroku… Naraku did something to Kagome, and is using InuYasha somehow,” says the slayer curiously.

 

 

 

“It does seem close to what he did to KiKyo fifty years ago,” replies the monk.  “But Kagome doesn’t remember InuYasha at all.  And besides he was out with KiKyo last night Sango, not Kagome.”

 

 

 

“What if Naraku is using InuYasha as a trigger?  To gain control over Kagome.  After all he controlled Kohaku by taking his memories.”

 

 

 

“Yes, but he took all Kohaku’s memories Sango.  He didn’t even know who he was, whereas Kagome at least knows her name.  And I highly doubt Kagome’s even aware she’s a priestess.  Which means as long as she remains as she is, we’ll be at a standstill in our hunt for the shards.”

 

 

 

“That’s certainly true,” says the slayer with a sigh.  “So, I guess Naraku’s won this round, huh?”

 

 

 

“Not necessarily.”  The slayer looks at the monk curiously.  “I suspect much more is going on here, Sango, than just the race to find the shards.  Naraku despises InuYasha,” replies the monk quietly.  “And Naraku knows the only one, Kagome has the strongest feelings for is InuYasha.  What if Naraku is attempting to get to Kagome by pushing InuYasha and the rest of us away leaving him the only one she can run to.”

 

 

 

“You mean have her abandon us?”

 

 

 

“She is what he’s after Sango.  And If she abandons InuYasha, there’s no telling what he’ll do.”

 

 

 

“Go to KiKyo probably.  Kagome loves InuYasha with everything she is Miroku.  It’s almost as if she lives for him. But unfortunately that bastard doesn’t seem to care if she loves him or not… the ungrateful dog,” says Sango with a frown.

 

 

 

“There, there, Sango,” whispers Miroku while patting the slayer’s hand.  “We mustn’t pass judgment without knowing the whole story.”

 

 

 

“What’s there to know, monk?” asks Sango, voice tinged with anger.  “Everyone around here with eyes can see just how much Kagome adores InuYasha.  Yet he runs off to the forest to be with a dead woman every chance he gets.  How messed up is that?”

 

 

 

“Who InuYasha can or can’t love, is not for us to say,” says Miroku quietly.

 

 

 

“Where is he anyway?” asks the slayer curiously.

 

 

 

“Still out in the forest, I suppose,” replies the monk.  “I told him the longer he hung around here, the longer it will probably take for Kagome to regain her memory.  Which means the longer it will be before we can start looking for the shards.”

 

 

 

“I bet he didn’t like that.”

 

 

 

“Nope, not in the least.  But I think he’ll stay away.  At least until morning.”

 

 

 

“Maybe we should send Kagome home, Miroku,” suggests the slayer.

 

 

 

“Why?”

 

 

 

“Well, there she can get the proper care she needs.  There aren’t any medicinal herbs here; I know of, that could help her regain her memory.”

 

 

 

“No, there aren’t unfortunately,” says the monk sadly.  “But I don’t believe going home is the answer either.”

 

 

 

“Why not?” asks Sango.  “Kagome, has family there she’s bound to recognize.  And she’s been through the well so many times already.”

 

 

 

“And that’s true, but I seriously doubt it would be the best situation for her,” says Miroku.  “Remember, Kagome doesn’t know any of us, or this era, Sango.  So, it probably holds true about her own era as well.  And the journey itself?  Just how many people, do you know who can fall into a well and live to talk about it, much less travel to a different time and place?”

 

 

 

“I see your point,” says Sango with a sigh.  “It would be kind of unsettling for her.  It’s just I want so much to help her, Miroku.”

 

 

 

“As do we all.  And even though he doesn’t want to show it, I believe InuYasha wants her to remember more than the rest of us.”

 

 

 

“Yeah, so she’ll find his precious shards for him,” says Sango angrily.  “And what if Kagome stays this way?  How are we supposed to handle it?”

 

 

 

“The best way we can I suppose.  But I really don’t believe Kagome’s condition is permanent,” replies the monk.  “After all she does seem to remember Shippou.”

 

 

 

“Yeah, she does,” says Sango with a sigh.  “But what about me, or you, or… or him?”

 

 

 

“By him, you mean InuYasha?”  The slayer slightly nods.  “Only time will tell I’m afraid.  All of us will need to be patient, Sango, and give Kagome time.”  The monk turns his attention back to the two in the corner.  “Time enough, to allow her to come to terms with whatever it was that caused her strange condition in the first place.”

 

 

 

“She’s got to remember us, monk,” says Sango sadly.  “She’s just got to.  And not because of the shards but because we’re her friends.  When Kohaku died, she was there for me.  I’ve come to look on her as my sister.  I don’t want to lose that.”

 

 

 

“And you won’t,” says Miroku again patting the slayer’s hand.  “In time, Kagome will remember us all.  It may take a month, a year…she may remember everything in the morning.  But until that happens, patience will have to be our ally.  Forcing Kagome into remembering would probably do more harm to her than good.”  The monk and slayer remain silent, as they continue watching the two sitting in the corner.

 

 

 

“Hey, I know,” says Sango hopefully, “I’ll get Kagome alone somewhere… maybe get her to talk about it?”

 

 

 

“You mean gently jog her memory a little?”

 

 

 

“Um hm,” replies the slayer with a nod.  “Kagome always confides in me whenever something’s bothering her.  So, do you think you can somehow get InuYasha away from here, for a time?  If he’s out of sight it may make talking to Kagome easier.”

 

 

 

“Probably,” replies the monk with a nod.  “I could persuade him to go out hunting or something.”

 

 

 

“Great,” says Sango with a nod.  “Kagome headaches always seem worse, whenever he’s around.”

 

 

 

“I wonder why InuYasha?  Kagome’s never been frightened of him before.  Whenever he’s made her angry, she usually stands up to him or uses her command.  But today…it seemed as if InuYasha was hurting Kagome at a much deeper level...one she doesn’t really understand.  And I’ve yet to hear her say her command, have you?”

 

 

 

“No, I haven’t.  So tomorrow morning, Kagome and I will go to the hot springs while you get InuYasha away from here.  She and I go there all the time to bathe anyway.  So, it shouldn’t seem like anything out of the ordinary.”

 

 

 

“The springs are a good place to go, Sango,” smiles the monk dreamily.  “They’re private, secluded and…”

 

 

 

“A place you should stay away from, right?” asks the slayer with suspicion in her eyes.  “And you’ll keep InuYasha away from there as well, right…far, far, away?”

 

 

 

“Sometimes I just don’t understand you, Sango,” says the monk taking her hand.  “That you’d even think I, a monk could ever take advantage of Lady Kagome in such a manner…and in her condition.”

 

 

 

“Oh, I don’t think it, monk,” says Sango with a frown pulling her hand back.  “I know it.”  The slayer raises her fist.  “And believe me if I find you anywhere near the springs tomorrow, I’ll…”

 

 

 

“Ok, ok,” Miroku sighs as he shakes his head.  “I guess InuYasha and I will leave early then.  Give you more time to talk with her.  But keep in mind, Sango, we don’t know what happened or whether Naraku or another demon had done this to Kagome.  So be very mindful.  Naraku or another demon might show up to take Kagome.”  

 

 

 

“Alright, monk, I get it, I’ll be careful,” says Sango with a little anger in her voice.  “Nothing is going to happen to Kagome while I’m around.”

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

The rest of the evening goes quietly for the two, sitting in the corner, as they have their evening meal.  When it comes time to bed down, Kagome walks to her sleeping bag, lies down and gets comfortable.  Shippou walks over, curls in his usual spot, against the young miko’s warm body, breathes deeply, and soon falls asleep.  Kagome then places her arm, protectively, around the little kitsune, pulling him closer to her and she too, falls fast asleep.

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

However, there is one who is finding it quite difficult to sleep in the tree he's on.  InuYasha's out in the forest and doesn't want to be there.  His strongest desire is to be near Kagome; to hear her breathe and know she is truly well and safe so he can rest.  But the young monk, Miroku, had convinced him it may be better for the young miko if he were to stay away for a while, and he doesn’t wish to upset her any more than he already had.  He turns over, on his perch, to try and get comfortable.

 

 

 

“Crazy monk,” he grumbles.  “Just what the hell do they think I’m going to do to Kagome anyway?  It was me who stayed out all night searching for her ass, while they stayed in the village.  That should count for something, right?”  The hanyou’s frown deepens.  “Keh!  They don’t, fucking, trust me, that’s all.  I mean I can be right next to…”  A mischievous smile slowly reaches the young hanyou's face, as an idea forms.  “Hey!  Now that’s not a bad idea.  I could just sit in the tree next to the hut or maybe on the roof.  And no one would be the wiser,” says InuYasha as his smile brightens.  “They wouldn’t know I was there and I can stay near Kagome, without upsetting anyone.  Yeah.”

 

 

 

The young hanyou jumps from his perch and lightly touches down on the ground below, stretches, and impatiently starts out for the village.  “Keh!  Try to keep me from her, will ya?”

 

 

 

InuYasha walks toward his destination when, half way there, his ear twitches as the sound of the one person he doesn’t wish to see approaches.  The determined young half demon continues on, ignoring the familiar sounds of her approaching pets.

 

 

 

“The moon is so lovely tonight, InuYasha.  Do you not think so?” 

 

 

 

The young hanyou stops to stare at the priestess standing before him.  “KiKyo.”

 

 

 

“It would be such a shame for us to waste it.  Come.  Let us enjoy this night together.”

 

 

 

“Not tonight, KiKyo,” answers InuYasha.  “There’s someplace else, I need to be.”

 

 

 

“Oh?” asks KiKyo curiously.  “Perhaps we could walk there together.”

 

 

 

“I said not tonight!  Ok?” answers the hanyou; his voice sounding gruffer than intended.  “So…so maybe another time.”  He starts out again toward the village.

 

 

 

“Why deny my company, InuYasha, when you were most willing to be with me last night?” asks the priestess.  “Has something changed between us?”

 

 

 

“Nothing’s changed KiKyo,” replies InuYasha insistently, “it’s just where I’m going, you cannot follow.”

 

 

 

“Can’t follow?” says the dead priestess with a slight laugh. “Me?  What a strange reply that is.  Tell me InuYasha.  Where are you going, that I’m cannot accompany you?”

 

 

 

“To the vil…”  InuYasha stops and sighs while turning toward the dead priestess.  “Alright KiKyo.  I’ll be with you, for a little while alright?” he answers.  “Then I’ve got to go.”

 

 

 

The dead priestess smiles as she walks up and presses her slim body against the young hanyou, embracing him.  InuYasha allows her familiar embrace and wraps his arms tightly around her body, attempting to summon the feelings he's had for the dead priestess.  However, for some unknown reason, they will not come.  Instead, he receives a most uncomfortable feeling of betraying someone.  The hanyou frowns.  (Something’s wrong.  This doesn’t feel right to me at all.)

 

 

 

“Now isn’t this better, InuYasha?” asks KiKyo tightening her embrace.  “You…me…together loving under the stars, the way it’s supposed to be?”

 

 

 

(The way it’s supposed to be?)  InuYasha tightens his hold as well.  He finds the woman, in his arms, cold so the hanyou tries to warm the dead priestess with his body heat, and feels her becoming colder still.  What’s more there’s no desire, for her, in his heart, no anticipation of the moment.  The dead miko looks up into his eyes of golden fire, and offers her cold lips.  The hanyou’s warm lips lightly touch hers and still there is no feeling of welcome.  InuYasha slightly pulls back to look deeply into KiKyo's brown eyes finding they too held little if no warmth in them.  There is no promise of excitement, no life.  The young hanyou is puzzled by this reaction of his body, and with what he sees for he knows there is something he wants from the priestess, is seeking something.  But what?

 

 

 

(Is there something I’m missing here,) thought InuYasha confused? (I’m holding KiKyo, kissing her, yet she doesn’t excite me.  Why?  Where is the fire…the excitement?  I’ve wanted this for so long now…wanted her just like this yet I can’t feel any desire for her at all.  Not like last night.  In fact, it’s just the opposite.  I don’t hate KiKyo.  Far from it.  Could it be my feelings for KiKyo have changed?  That I don’t love her as much as I had led myself to believe?  All this time, have I been forcing myself, thinking this was what I needed.  Sure, KiKyo was who I wanted.  So, what the hell is wrong with me now?  Why doesn’t my body feel her calling… doesn’t hear my soul crying out…burning with desire for her?)  The young hanyou deeply inhales the dead priestess’s scent and it too he finds lacking.  (KiKyo’s my one true soul mate, isn’t she?  The one Kami sent me to be with throughout eternity?  The one I would blindly follow into hell…become human for?  Why don’t I feel that way about her now?)  The hanyou loosens his hold.  

 

 

 

“KiKyo, what are we doing out here?” asks InuYasha curiously in the hopes the dead priestess would answer his many unasked questions.

 

 

 

The dead priestess looks up at him with a stunned look to her features.  “Why would you ask such a question of me, InuYasha?”

 

 

 

“Answer me, KiKyo,” commands the hanyou as he loosens his hold a little more.  “What is it you wish of me?”

 

 

 

“My wish is to only be with you, my love,” replies KiKyo with a smile and lays her head against his chest.  “…To feel your warmth and hear the song of your heart calling out to me.”

 

 

 

(My…heart,) thought the hanyou curiously?  (Calling?  Then why can’t I feel it?)

 

 

 

“My heart yearns to be with you, as well… to love you.”  KiKyo smiles as she raises the young hanyou's clawed hand, placing it against her chest.  She looks deep into his saddened eyes.  “Do you not feel it, as well InuYasha?  Can you not hear our souls calling out to one another?”

 

 

 

“No KiKyo.”  InuYasha sadly shakes his head as he gently pushes her from him.  “I can’t.  Nor do I feel anything, except friendship for you.”

 

 

 

“Friendship?!” says KiKyo with a slight laugh.  “InuYasha, friendship is for children.  Our feelings, for one another, are much stronger…much deeper than mere friendship.”

 

 

 

“I’m sorry, KiKyo,” says the hanyou sadly.  “You asked how I felt, and I don’t wish to deceive you.”

 

 

 

“I see.  So, you’re saying not I but perhaps someone else rules your heart?”

 

 

 

“No,” replies the young half demon slightly shrugging his shoulders.

 

 

 

The dead priestess slowly shakes her head disbelievingly.  “What has happened, InuYasha…for your feelings to have changed so?”  The young hanyou remains silent as he looks away.  “Do you find me different somehow?”  The priestess takes his chin, forcing him to look back at her.  “Am I not the same?”

 

 

 

“I…,” replies the hanyou uncomfortably.  “I don’t know.”

 

 

 

“I don’t understand, InuYasha, says the dead priestess anxiously.  “Why would you not know?  We are the same and you gave no complaints last night.  Perhaps now you see something lacking within me?”

 

 

 

“Of course not.”

 

 

 

“Then perhaps it’s because I refused to make love with you,” asks the dead priestess with worry in her eyes.  “Is that what you wish of me now, InuYasha, what you desire?  Do you feel I would deny you such privileges?”

 

 

 

“KiKyo…”

 

 

 

“I may no longer have the body I once had InuYasha but I still have the heart in which to love you.”

 

 

 

The hanyou closes his eyes.  “I don’t…”

 

 

 

“Ask me InuYasha!” commands the dead priestess anxiously reaching toward the hanyou.  “Ask and you have my word I shall not deny you.”

 

 

 

“No KiKyo…no,” replies InuYasha with a slight shake of his head and taking a step back, pushing the priestess to arm’s length.  “That has nothing to do with how I feel.”

 

 

 

“You say that and yet it makes no sense,” replies the priestess confused.  “Here we both stand, InuYasha…you and I.  You haven’t changed.  So, it must be me.  Tell me what it is I lack so I can somehow make it right,” commands KiKyo pleadingly, “make us right.”

 

 

 

“There’s…”  The young hanyou sighs deeply while slowly shaking his head.  “There’s nothing wrong with you KiKyo… ok?  It’s us it’s…it’s you and me.”  The hanyou takes a few more steps from the miko, sighs and looks up to the stars.  “Something about us just isn’t right anymore.  It could be me I don’t know.  It could be what Naraku said about our love for one another…about it not being strong enough.”

 

 

 

“Not strong enough?” says KiKyo incredulously.  “How can you possibly believe such nonsense?  How, can you doubt our love when it has lasted a lifetime and beyond?”

 

 

 

“A lifetime, huh?”  InuYasha again shakes his head.  “No.  That’s just not so, KiKyo, and you know it.”

 

 

 

“I know no such thing.”

 

 

 

“Don’t you?” asks the hanyou quietly.  “Be honest.  Fifty years ago, our love was tested, wasn’t it, and we both failed.  We were so easily tricked into hating one another because we lacked trust.  And because of that hatred, because of that mistrust, you died after placing me under a spell by pinning me to a tree, with your arrow.”

 

 

 

“You know what happened, between us, was the result of an elaborate deception,” explains KiKyo.  “Naraku’s deception.  Anyone would have been fooled by it.”

 

 

 

“Would they?” says InuYasha with doubt in his voice.

 

 

 

“Of course.”

 

 

 

“I don’t believe they would KiKyo.  Not if their feelings ran true like ours was supposed to have been.”

 

 

 

“They did run true InuYasha and still do,” says KiKyo haughtily.  “I would have proved it as such last night if you would have stayed.”

 

 

 

“No,” replies the hanyou with a shake of his head.  “Our physical being…what we are… it just doesn’t enter into this.”

 

 

 

“Then what is it, InuYasha, that confuses you so?”

 

 

 

“Our emotions … it’s what’s inside us that’s the issue here.  Back then, if our love was strong… the bond, between us unwavering, Naraku could never have been able to deceive us as easily as he did.  You know this.  We would have been able to see through his lies, his elaborate deceptions; not try to hurt and betray each other, because of them.”

 

 

 

“We were betrayed,” says KiKyo.

 

 

 

“Do you really believe that?” asks InuYasha curiously.

 

 

 

“Of course,” replies the priestess.  “We are not infallible beings InuYasha.  Priests…priestesses.  We are all human, with human hearts that can be deceived just as any other human heart would have been.”

 

 

 

“I see,” challenges the hanyou, “then what about Kagome?”

 

 

 

“Kagome?” asks KiKyo slightly shaking her head.

 

 

 

“She’s a priestess, isn’t she?  She’s human with a human’s heart,” replies the hanyou with a slight nod.  “Do you think she would have been betrayed as easily as we were?”

 

 

 

“Perhaps, perhaps not.  But InuYasha, she is me, is she not?”

 

 

 

“I suppose she’s you.  You both look the same but at the same time KiKyo you’re both different.  What I mean to say is…you are you, and Kagome is Kagome.  And you and I, well we walk different paths whereas Kagome and me…there’s a special bond between us.”

 

 

 

“A bond?”

 

 

 

“That’s right.”

 

 

 

“Do we not have a special bond as well InuYasha?”

 

 

 

“Maybe,” replies the hanyou quietly.  “But our bond just isn’t as strong as the one Kagome and I share.”

 

 

 

“I see.”

 

 

 

“Kagome’s shown me so much in this life, KiKyo.  She stays at my side where no one else would.  And I have friends now …good friends I would not have if not for Kagome.  I’m not lonely anymore.”

 

 

 

“You were not lonely with me, InuYasha.”

 

 

 

“No, I wasn’t KiKyo but our life was different then.  I’ve seen Kagome cry KiKyo.  She shed tears for me when she thought my life was ending, or when I’m hurt.  She worries for me when we’re in battle…has offered her life for mine on many occasions.  I don’t have that coldness inside me anymore, the anger and rage.  They’re gone now.  And Kagome was the one who took them from me.”

 

 

 

“Fifty years ago, your heart was badly wounded, InuYasha.  You were angry, felt no trust for anyone.  Had I lived,” says KiKyo with pain in her voice.  “Had Naraku not have taken my life, I would have been the one to heal those wounds, not her.”

 

 

 

“No …I don’t think you would,” replies the hanyou sadly.

 

 

 

“No?”

 

 

 

“Oh, I know you would have tried KiKyo.  That was the type of priestess you were.  But Kagome…she filled the emptiness in my heart by teaching me not to fear the closeness of others.  She created the special bond between her and me.  You and I KiKyo, we had a bond, is true.  But we lacked the trust to keep it strong.  You didn’t trust me, KiKyo and…well if the truth be known, I didn’t trust you either.  But I do trust Kagome and she trusts me.”

 

 

 

“Why?” asks the dead miko spreading her arms out in front of her.  “Why trust that woman; one you haven’t known for very long, and not me?  Why trust a woman who only hurts you?”

 

 

 

“I don’t know, ok?” replies InuYasha firmly.  “I just do.  It’s really hard for me to explain my feelings right now, KiKyo.  My feelings for Kagome, my feelings for you…they’re all so tangled up inside and confusing.  I need to sort them out if they’re going to make any sense to me at all.”

 

 

 

“I see.  Then if, as you say, your feelings for us are so confused how, can you truly say you trust her, or say you have any feelings for her at all?”

 

 

 

“Because… well long ago, KiKyo, there was this dark priestess, named Tsubaki who wanted Kagome to kill me, yet she didn’t.”

 

 

 

“It was Naraku who put Tsubaki up to it InuYasha.”

 

 

 

“Hell I know that.  Tsubaki told me so herself.  But while I was, standing in Kaede’s hut, watching Kagome.  I watched her raised her bow and point an arrow straight at me.  And even though, I knew I was in danger, knew her arrows had the power to destroy me…even though I was scared, I didn’t wish to run, or hide, because I knew deep in my soul, Kagome wasn’t the one who wanted me dead.  I knew someone was controlling her.”

 

 

 

“You wanted to protect Kagome, did you not InuYasha?  You didn’t run because you wanted to protect her because she’s your friend and you needed her to find the shards, correct?”

 

 

 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought at first but… after thinking about it, I find it was more than that, more than just the shards.  That night, KiKyo my belief in Kagome became so strong, my trust in her so unwavering, that no matter what she told me to do, no matter how many times she told me to run, I just couldn’t do it.  I stayed in that small room, not only because I wanted to protect Kagome, I didn’t want to leave her side.”  A look of disbelief appears on the dead priestess’s face.  “And believe me KiKyo she suffered for it.  Kagome went through hell for me, because she disobeyed Tsubaki’s command to kill me.  Because she,” InuYasha looks into the dead priestess’ cold eyes unwavering, “because Kagome wanted to protect me.”

 

 

 

“I see.  And what of me InuYasha?  In all the battles we were in, …did I not protect you as well?” says KiKyo.  “Proved your trust in me was deserved, just as much as Kagome’s?”

 

 

 

“Hell, I don’t know,” replies the hanyou with a shrug of his shoulders.  “We were never truly in that same situation.  I mean who’s, to say, KiKyo, if you would have protected me, or not…or suffered for my sake.”

 

 

 

“Then… you have lost all faith in me,” says KiKyo sadly.

 

 

 

“No, I…”

 

 

 

“You wish we’d never met, do you not?  You wish we haven’t become as close as we did… as we are now?”

 

 

 

“I’m not saying that at all, KiKyo ok?” replies the hanyou taking the dead priestess’ hand.  “You were good to me.  You talked to me… treated me as an equal when no one else would.  You made me forget my loneliness for a while, showed me kindness.  I can never nor do I ever want to forget that.”

 

 

 

“We still speak, do we not?” asks KiKyo.  “Surely you need not feel lonely with me.”

 

 

 

“Yes, we speak but it’s just not the same anymore.  We aren’t the same.”

 

 

 

“You dare say such things to me…belittle my feelings?”

 

 

 

“I’m not trying…”

 

 

 

“My body may only consist of ashes and graveyard soil, InuYasha, but my heart, my love for you is real and just as strong if not stronger than hers.”

 

 

 

“No KiKyo,” replies the hanyou sadly.  “I don’t believe they are now or ever was.  Yes, we fought together side by side.  And together, we protected the village.  Back then I guess you could say we were comrades in arms.”

 

 

 

“Comrades?” says KiKyo incredulously.  “You loved me, did you not?”

 

 

 

“Yes…maybe…maybe back then I did feel something for you.  But you, KiKyo?  It feels it was different somehow.”

 

 

 

“How so?”

 

 

 

“You never allowed me to walk alongside you like a man and woman in love should.  We just weren’t connected.”

 

 

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

 

 

“We weren’t connected.  You were a priestess, a human, and I a hanyou.  Two different beings.  I guess that’s the reason I agreed to change for you back then…become human so I could walk beside you and feel that connection.”  The half demon gives a curious look toward the dead priestess.  “There was always this question, running in the back of my mind KiKyo.”

 

 

 

“A question?”

 

 

 

“Yeah.  And it always bothered me.”

 

 

 

“What was it?”

 

 

 

“Why couldn’t you accept or love me as a hanyou?  Why want me to change at all?  I was always near you.  I protected you, but I’d always felt…oh I don’t know; apart from you somehow.  Like my being a hanyou was what was separating us, keeping us apart.  So, tell me the truth KiKyo.  Back then, was I right?  Was I really such an embarrassment; that you didn't want anyone knowing you were in love with just a half demon, or half human?  Was it my tainted blood that bothered you?  Was that the reason why you went to him…to that…that human, Onigumo?”  The priestess remains silent as she looks at him curiously.  “It’s what I believed anyway.  You went to him because he was human…a full-blooded human, where I was not.”

 

 

 

“Onigumo is no more, InuYasha.  He no longer exists.”

 

 

 

“No longer exists?  Have you forgotten, who that Onigumo person turned out to be?  He’s Naraku.  The same fucking bastard who deceived us fifty years ago.”

 

 

 

“I haven’t forgotten InuYasha.  However, he has lost his power to deceive us.  He, no longer has any influence over us.  So can you forget the past to be with me now?”

 

 

 

“No.”

 

 

 

“What?”

 

 

 

“I… don’t think I can forget, KiKyo.  We’re just too different now.”

 

 

 

“I see.”

 

 

 

“Do you?” asks InuYasha.  “KiKyo.  Is it still your wish for me to walk into hell with you?”

 

 

 

“It is what we both desire InuYasha.  To embrace death together.”

 

 

 

“You’re wrong.  It’s not what I want.  Oh, I had every intention of doing so, without any reservation but now…well now my desire is to live.  I wish to make right what I'd done wrong here, because of Naraku’s treachery.  I want to avenge your death.”

 

 

 

“And what would avenging my death accomplish?  Would it change that which is in your heart now?  Do you believe by destroying Naraku everything will return as it was fifty years ago?”

 

 

 

“No, KiKyo,” replies InuYasha with a slight shake of his head.  “I’m not so foolish as to think that.”

 

 

 

“Then what can you hope to gain by avenging my death, if not to regain what was lost?”

 

 

 

“Hell, I don’t know,” replies the hanyou.  “Maybe it’s to find some sense of peace.  Maybe it’s having Naraku pay for using me to hurt you.  All I know for certain KiKyo is I want that bastard dead.  And that won’t be possible until I retrieve the shards of the jewel of four souls.”

 

 

 

“And then what will you do once you have the jewel?” asks KiKyo.  “Use its power to become a full demon?”

 

 

 

“Hell, who knows?  I might still become a full demon, or maybe not.  I might become human, or just stay the way I am.  Either way, KiKyo, that’s for me to decide.  And good or bad what happens next to either of us is best left up to the fates.”

 

 

 

“I see.” KiKyo angrily walks a little way and sharply turns, a deep frown marring her placid features.  “You were right, InuYasha.  You have changed.  To think you would again betray me…”

 

 

 

“Betray you?”  The hanyou looks surprised at the dead priestess’s question and then he slowly shakes his head.  “KiKyo…I’m…”

 

 

 

“Such thoughts would never be, if it weren’t for that woman…that Kagome!”

 

 

 

“Hey, now…don’t go blaming…”

 

 

 

“Since she came to our world, InuYasha that girl has been a thorn in my side!” seethes KiKyo.  “She has my soul… my life!  And now she wishes to take you from me, as well?”

 

 

 

“You’ve got it all wrong,” says InuYasha waving his hands.  “There’s nothing between Kagome and me other than friendship.  She just helping with finding the shards, that’s all.”

 

 

 

“There never will be anything between you and her InuYasha.  Your life is mine!”

 

 

 

“It’s mine!” replies the hanyou with a little anger.  “To live as I see fit; to its fullest!  There’s so much out there KiKyo I wish to see and experience.  So much I need to do.”

 

 

 

“It would seem, InuYasha, you have forgotten why it was I lost my life?” accuses KiKyo while narrowing her eyes.  “It was because of you.”

 

 

 

“Yes, I know.  And I was heartbroken when I was told about it,” replies the half demon sadly.  “But KiKyo you gave up your life willingly whereas I didn’t have a choice.  You took my life, so how can you honestly deny me my life now?”

 

 

 

“You promised to be with me.  To live with me.”

 

 

 

“I did, but…”

 

 

 

“And did you not promise to die with me as well?!”  The hanyou first opens his mouth to answer then closes it to look away.  “And with your own words InuYasha, you told me my life was yours.  So, no one shall be with you, but me.”

 

 

 

“KiKyo…don’t…”

 

 

 

“You will keep your vows to me, InuYasha.”  KiKyo turns and angrily walks away with her soul catchers following close behind.  “As I shall keep mine.  Remember that next time, you wish to question your loyalty to me again.”

 

 

 

“Loyalty?”  InuYasha is shocked to say the least.  Never has he seen the dead priestess so angry before.  It's the most emotion she has shown since her return from the dead.  (What should I have done,) thought the hanyou worriedly?  (What could I have said that would have appeased her?  I told her the truth.  That my life is mine, just as Kagome says it is.  I control it!  It’s true.  I did love KiKyo once.  But just what kind of love was it?)  The young hanyou sighs, (how can I know, for sure, if it was real or not?)

 

 

 

“Kagome.”  InuYasha turns to proceed once again toward Kaede's hut, his mind mulling over his conversation with KiKyo.  Once there the half demon jumps up onto the nearest tree, perching on the closest branch by the window and settles back, his ears twitching, listening for the one sound which would bring him peace.

 

 

 

She's sleeping now.  Hearing the deep even breaths from her, the hanyou smiles.  He takes a deep breath of the air and smells her lovely scent of earth and jasmine.  (Finally!  Now, I can rest.  Having Kagome near gives me a sense of peace, where KiKyo never did.  Could it be what I’m searching for; that what I need could be only be found in Kagome?  Or could it truly be in KiKyo?)

 

 

 

Another sound reaches the half demon’s sensitive ears catching his attention.  It is such a small, quiet sound.  One which never fails in making his heart race and his ire grow.  It is the soft snoring of the small fox demon and a vision of him lying against Kagome…feeling her warm body, causes InuYasha to seethe with jealously.

 

 

 

“Damn that youkai!” growls the young hanyou angrily his claws grating against the tree bark.  “Can’t that damn brat find someplace else to fucking sleep?!  Why the hell does it have to be against her?!  He can’t protect Kagome.  Only I can so it should be me lying next to her.  Me feeling her…”  InuYasha takes another deep sniff of the air for her scent and becomes calm.  (Keh!  What the hell am I so worked up about?  I don’t care who Kagome’s sleeping with,) he thought with a smirk.  (Besides, Shippou’s just a cub so it’s not like he’s going to do anything with her… or to her.  He wouldn’t know how if he tried.  Still, perhaps it’s time I talk to Kagome about her feelings and mine.  Then maybe, I’ll be able to make some kind of sense of this shit.  KiKyo…Kagome?  Hell, I just don’t know anymore.)  InuYasha yawns.  “There’s plenty of time for me to think about it though.  It’s not as if she’s going to go anywhere, anyway.”  He settles back on his perch to rest, ever vigilant should trouble decide to come his way.  “Yep!  Plenty of time.”