InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Silver Dove and the Raven ❯ Chapter 19

Chapter 19 Pick up the shattered pieces and move on

Kagome couldn't believe what she heard as she sat by the window where Sesshomaru usually smoked. She hadn't slept all night waiting for him to come back. He was behind her downstairs but he never came back to the room. As upset as she was last night, she still expected to see him so when Marla said he was gone, it felt like a truck had hit her.

"Gone?" her voice broke. She cleared her throat but the raw feeling inside wouldn't clear from sobbing all night. It didn't make any sense. How did he leave just like that when he was calling after her? Did he just give up? Was that all the effort he was going to put to resolve anything? Did he even want to? Just days before, they were constantly in each other's arms, kissing and smiling. How could that just end abruptly? She felt her eyes sting as fresh tears began to fill them. "W-what do you mean he's gone?"

Marla lowered her head sympathetically. The very sight of Kagome broke her heart. Her eyes were puffy and red, she sounded hoarse and nasally and looked very pale. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair searching for the right words.

"He left last night, back to New York. That is what his father told me this morning."

Just like that? Kagome felt her heart sink. They were leaving today, what couldn't wait until today that he had to board a flight immediately? She rubbed her arms feeling cold and walked toward the bed. She plopped down and curled into the fetal position. Marques walked into the room smiling holding a dress but Marla waved him off with a scowl. Confused, he slowly walked back out.

Marla cleared her throat and broke the awkward silence lurking in the room. "I spoke with the press this morning to clear things out."

"Clear what out?" Kagome sniffed.

"Well, the rumors."

"What's there to clear? They're true."

"He said they weren't."

"Oh please." Kagome scoffed. "Those pictures-"

"Those pictures…"Marla interrupted. "prove nothing."

Kagome buried her head into her pillow and took a deep breath. She clutched her stomach and a small whimper escaped her mouth from holding back her tears. She didn't want to cry anymore. She cried all night. She imagined he'd come back to the room and try hard to convince her nothing was going on and then everything would be alright. Different images came into her mind about what could have

happened to him. One of them was a hopeless romantic one and a bit farfetched. He went to get her flowers to apologize and was struck and killed by a bus. That sent her worrying like crazy and looking out the window for most of the night but then reason came to her and realized that Sesshomaru wasn't careless enough to get hit by anything and then that left the alternative. He went back to Shurran. He realized it was pointless to try to salvage something that he didn't want and went to be with his kind.

She knew she had overreacted but she was so angry, she couldn't control her outburst. It was like history repeating itself. She played last night's events over and over in her head and noticed she never gave him a chance to speak; to explain himself. By the time she had gotten back to the room, she was more collected and rational to hear him out.

How could she have been so naïve? She covered her head with the pillow and clenched her teeth. She had told him she loved him. She lost her virginity to him. He made her feel safe and the way he stared at her made her feel beautiful. His eyes never left her at times and it seemed like he was always studying every fiber of her being, from her hair to her eyes to her fingers; everything. Was it all a dream?

"Kagome…" Marla's voice sounded muffled through the pillow. "I may be the wrong person to say this…but, it will be ok."

She didn't have a response to that and after a few minutes, she heard the door close. She lifted the pillow off her head and gazed at the door, half expecting to see Sesshomaru come through it even though she was told he had left. She looked around the empty room and could hear the sound of the light buzzing and birds chirping. Her eyes fell to Sesshomaru's side of the bed and she faltered grabbing his pillow. She could smell him and she held the pillow tightly against her chest feeling very pathetic. She panted as she tried to ease her heartache but she couldn't hold it longer and the floodgates opened. She couldn't remember the last time she cried so hard and felt so alone. It was worse than when her mother kicked her out. She wiped her eyes, forced herself to sit up, and went to the closet to pack. She managed to stop crying after a while but then it came back. How could she have let this affect her so hard? She didn't cry this much when her first relationship with a demon ended. She should have learned her lesson. Her mother was right. Demons weren't good people. She would never date another demon, ever.

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So much for leaving right away, Sesshomaru thought as he sat across from his mother. They stopped by a restaurant a few hours out of Rome waiting for their flight. They sat out on the patio, his mother sipping her wine quietly while he smoked a cigarette. Neither of them spoke nor met each other's eyes. He was in his own world and so was she. The waiter brought over two salads and left right away.

Sesshomaru glanced at his watch and replayed everything from last night in his head. Things could have been different had he taken different measures. Why hadn't he thought of the paparazzi following him taking his picture? Why did he just leave like that without going back to Kagome and explaining the situation?

They both looked across the street when they heard an obnoxious holler. There was a man waving at them, waiting for the light to change so he could cross. Saya frowned realizing it was the man sitting next to her on the plane. Elijah.

Sesshomaru looked at his mother and cocked a brow. "Do you know that man?"

"Hmph…"Saya scoffed and looked away. "No."

"Then why is he coming right toward us?" Sesshomaru scowled to the side and breathed out a cloud of smoke.

Elijah jogged across the street and continued to wave. "Hey, remember me?"

Saya lowered her head and didn't acknowledge him. Sesshomaru studied her suspiciously and looked back at the guy.

"You must be the son. I'm Elijah." He said and stuck his hand out.

Sesshomaru glared at the man as if he were stupid and looked at his hand. His gaze met his eyes again and he shook his hand briefly.

"Hm…" he said as he took another pull of his cigarette and Elijah tilted his head with a smirk.

"Yes, you most definitely are…."he paused and noticed the tension between Sesshomaru and his mother. "Well, um..I just came by to say hi, hope you enjoy your time here in Italy. Oh, by the way, the concert last night was great incase you were wondering."

Saya rolled her eyes.. This man presumed she was 'wondering' about his whereabouts all the time. Sesshomaru looked at his mother questionably. Concert? Was he talking about Koga's concert? His mother didn't look up from the table and he grinned. What a sanctimonious being his mother was, he mused and his attention went back to the man. He was an average human, nothing special. How did this man know his mother?

"Well, I don't want to impose…"Elijah said feeling unwelcomed. "I'll be going now. Um, enjoy your meal. Oh and hey, being that I bumped into you, maybe I'll see you back in New York," he stopped and leaned close to Sesshomaru. "and tell your mother not to frown so much, she's much prettier when she doesn't." he said and walked away.

Sesshomaru looked back at his mother and she looked at her watch trying to avoid his eyes. There was a slight flush on her face and he chortled.

"You are blushing." He said.

"I am not." She looked at him bitterly. "It is cold out here."

"Hm, so that man…."

"That man is no one. He is someone that I met on the plane."

"Someone that you met…"Sesshomaru mocked and flicked the ashes off his cigarette.

"He sat by me." She growled not liking his derisive tone. "Are you insinuation anything here?"

"No. Is there something to insinuate?" he smirked.

"No, there isn't. I am not your father. I am not weak by infatuations."

Sesshomaru became serious and he took another drag of his cigarette. "I did not intend to be dishonest. I was waiting to tell you in person."

"Let us not worry about that anymore." She said and forked her salad. She brought a leaf to her mouth and took a small bite.

Sesshomaru put his cigarette out on the ashtray and took a sip of his water. He looked at his hip when he felt a vibration and grabbed his phone out of its holster. He saw that he had a text message and opened it up.

'Dad told me what you did, you're a fuckin' asshole.'

Sesshomaru scowled at Inuyasha's message and deleted it right away. He rubbed his chin as he stared at his untouched salad. What was Kagome doing? Should he call her? Was she being comforted by that human, what was his name, Shinji? He frowned. He never liked that guy, since the beginning.

"Can you tell me…"his mother said, breaking his thoughts. "What drove you to her?"

Sesshomaru met her eyes briefly and looked back down at his plate. "I don't know."

"Am I going to have to worry about her once you take the throne?"

"No, you will not have to worry." He said and cleared his throat. He didn't want to talk anymore about it, especially with his mother.

"So, you agree to be with Shurran?"

"No."

His mother set her fork down and stared frustratingly at him. "Sesshomaru…"

"I am not marrying her…"he protested calmly. "If I am to take a wife, it will be someone I choose. The clan will just have to accept that and you as well."

His mother nodded quietly and observed him intently. "You have less than two months to find a wife, you realize that?"

"Your point?"

"It is not much time. I figured Shurran is a legible bachelorette and comes from a respectable and powerful family…why not?"

"because she annoys me."

"Yes, I understand she can be a bit… much. But…"

"Don't…"he glared daggers at her. "That is my answer." He shook his leg impatiently and looked around the restaurant. His face tightened as he focused to keep his mind off Kagome. It was cloudy out; it looked like it would rain soon. He felt his hands tremble in anger; talking about this didn't make it better.

"Alright. I won't impose any more…but when the day comes..."she warned and went back to forking her salad. "I just hope you are not trying to prolong this matter because you're having second thoughts about the human whore."

Saya flinched when Sesshomaru slammed his hand on the table. His claws dug into the table cloth and her gaze trapped in his in shock. A growl escaped his chest and he immediately rubbed his eyes. Everyone around them stared and whispered perplexedly.

"What is wrong with you?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"Nothing…"he composed himself right away and sat up straight. He kept his eyes closed until he felt them shift back to normal.

"You're in love with her, aren't you?"

Sesshomaru didn't answer her . An odd feeling took over him. It was anger and something else. His chest felt hollow but at the same time, it was like there was a weight over it. He took another sip of his water.

"Yes….you are. She's changed you, you're different."

"You are mad. I am not different."

"I hope you were careful…we don't need any more half-breeds in the world."

Sesshomaru grimaced at her. His mother referring to the ramifications of his sex life made him uncomfortable.

They didn't say another word to each other as they finished up. The limo drove up in front of the restaurant and they were driven to the airport right away.

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Inutaisho convinced Marla to join their flight back home in his private jet. It was a rough time for Kagome and she was going to need friends by her side, although Kagome remained to herself in the corner, not speaking to anyone for most of the flight.

Everyone made a few attempts to talk with her but she was unresponsive. Trapped in a daze, she just stared out the window of the jet. Koga tried to make her laugh with some stories from the tour but she didn't even crack a smile. Inuyasha and Sango tried to have small chat with her but to no avail. Inutaisho told everyone to leave her alone for the time being. When she was ready to talk, she would.

Sango looked through a magazine shaking her head while Ayame painted Rin's nails. Miroku slept on the recliner talking in his sleep. Ginta, Hakkaku, and Muso laughed amongst themselves debating if they should stick his hand in warm water. Koga yawned as he surfed the channels on the television while Inuyasha played pool by himself. Marla browsed through her planner while Marques sketched his next project. The entire jet was equipped fully with entertainment, food and other luxuries; one didn't have to leave the jet for anything. There were five bedrooms and an office, which was InuTaisho's. The plane flew smoothly that they all had forgotten they were even on it.

Rin yawned. "Ugh, I have school tomorrow…Dad, do I have to-"

"Yes…"Inutaisho finished without listening to the rest of her sentence. He looked up from his laptop and nodded. "You do have to go."

Rin groaned. "Aw, man. There is this stupid play I have to be in."

"Watch your language…"Inutaisho scolded not looking up from his laptop.

"Wow…I have to register too for next year…" Sango mumbled. "I can't believe the year is almost over…"

Ayame shrugged. "Yeah, sucks…the loft is going to feel so empty without Hiten and Hojo. Oh my god, Kikyo and Kagura are moving back with their parents…"

"Yes!" Koga cheered silently to himself but everyone heard him. "What? I'm not going to lie and say I was fond of those two."

Ayame frowned transiently and then shrugged with a smile. "Yeah…I guess they weren't that great. I don't know what I saw in them. I guess because they were actresses like me, we'd have a lot in common."

"Well, you all did have that ditzy thing going on…" Koga teased.

Ayame scowled and threw a pillow at him. "Oh shut up and burn what's left of your brain cells."

"You should talk." Koga fired back and cackled.

"You both should just get married already." Rin chuckled and everyone looked at each other awkwardly. Sango shot a wide grin and winked at Rin. Koga and Ayame both cleared their throats and went back to doing what they were doing. Although Rin was a little jealous, it was obvious the two liked each other. She was trying to help them out. She was nine years old, not stupid. She crushed on Koga like no one's business but it was apparent to her that nothing would ever happen.

"So, what's the play about?" Koga changed the topic. He leaned back into his chair and opened a bag of Doritos.

Rin sighed and glared at her father. "It's Romeo and Juliet and they picked me to be Juliet and I have to kiss this boy in my class that I don't like!"

"It's just a play." Ayame giggled. "It's nothing serious."

"Yeah, but he is such a dork. He follows me around all day and talks to me about comics, like I care? I'm a girl!"

"When's the play?" Koga bit into a Dorito and licked his fingers obnoxiously. Ayame snarled at him and shook her head.

"In a couple of months, after winter recess but rehearsal starts tomorrow. I was hoping if I didn't have to go…"she paused and scowled at her father again. "they'd give the part to someone else."

Kagome curled into her seat hearing everyone's conversation. They all laughed amongst themselves and she wished she could join them. She feared she would break down crying in front of them so she stayed to herself.

Her lips twitched trying to smile when she saw lights up ahead as the plane descended; New York City, her home. What was home anymore? She didn't really want to go back to the loft with everyone. She no longer wanted to live there. She couldn't bare to see him there, not that she expected he'd be there. She couldn't go back to her mother's, she had nowhere to go.

Marla came over and sat next to her holding a cup of hot tea. "Here, this will help your throat…"

Kagome gaped at the cup. She grabbed it from her hand and thanked her in a low voice. She went back to staring out the window and took a sip of her tea. She was right; it did help. The warm liquid soothed her throat and it somehow made her feel better in general.

She would overcome this. She was strong. When they landed in New York, she would just worry about herself. Get back on track again. Go to school, somehow get on good terms with her mother and not affiliate herself with demons anymore. She would leave her pain back in Italy. What was done was done and she wasn't going to cry any more for a person who clearly didn't care about her. It was easier to think about it than do it because when she heard someone mention Sesshomaru's name, her heart dropped and she could feel her breath become unsteady. It would take time but she would do it.

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Sesshomaru placed his shades on as they got off the boat at Governor's Island. It was the only way to get to Youkai Central. Youkai Central was a part of the island where the exiles lived after a riot broke out twenty years ago. Demon protesters formed an alliance when the integration came into order and more than a hundred humans and half-breeds were killed or injured critically. To keep the integration in order and being opposed to killing his people, Inutaisho sent all those that were suspected to be a part of this

chaos to live on the island, having restrictions to never leave it. Failing to do so would lead to execution by the D.D.C (Demon Defense Corp.) which Lord Inutaisho led.

"You're doing a respectable and honorable thing…"his mother said as they got into the limo and headed to her estate.

Sesshomaru grabbed a cigarette from his pocket and lit it. He found himself repeating in his mind that this is what he wanted for most of his life. To be in a position that will manifest his qualities and accomplish tasks that will allow him to surpass his father's rank. A thought popped into his mind of him and Kagome kissing and he felt a sharp pain in his chest. His face twitched at the pain but he took a long pull of his cigarette and ignored it.

When they got to his mother's house, a few people were waiting inside for them. One he had recognized as Tsuyoko; Shurran's father. After they all greeted one another, they walked into the living room and sat down. Sesshomaru sat on the recliner by the fireplace while everyone else sat around him. The butler came in holding a tray of coffee and set it down on the table. He sprinted out the room immediately.

"Sesshomaru," his mother said. "You remember Tsuyoko."

Tsuyoko bowed his head mannerly but his expression was acerbic. His ice green eyes pierced Sesshomaru's and he could tell he was trying hard to intimidate him. "My Lord…."

Sesshomaru nodded and looked at everyone else as his mother continued with the introduction. There was a tall man that looked familiar. His eyes were ice blue, he was slightly tanned, and his hair was black and long.

"This is Lord Kahuska with the Angajabii tribe…"she said.

Sesshomaru lifted a brow amusingly. Wolf demon? "Hm, you are, no doubt, related to Koga?"

Kahuska gazed perplexedly at Saya. "Y-yes, he is my son. Do you know him?"

Sesshomaru nodded and looked away. Kahuska continued to stare curiously as if he had questions to ask him but he refrained from doing so.

"Let's not waste time with the introduction…" Tsuyoko interrupted. A few other people frowned at not getting an introduction to Sesshomaru. "We need to discuss certain matters."

Sesshomaru grinned and tilted his head. "Such as?"

Tsuyoko smirked as he grabbed a cup of coffee from the tray. He took a quick sip and set it back down on the table. "Such as, what were you doing mating with a human?"

Sesshomaru looked at the table and lifted his gaze back at him. "That is none of your concern."

"If you are to lead my tribe, it is."

"What makes you think I need your tribe?" Sesshomaru scowled back. No one would threaten him or make it seem like they had what he needed.

Tsuyoko's eyes became red with anger as he turned to Saya. "Your son needs to learn a thing or two about respecting his elders."

Sesshomaru scoffed and pulled out a cigarette. "There is no issue here. I came to do what I intended to do and that is all there is to it."

"but you marked a human!" Tsuyoko shouted as he stood up.

Sesshomaru gulped that down hard. Somehow, that comment was a very low blow to the gut for him. He lifted his chin defiantly and scowled back at Tsuyoko trying to look impervious by his remark.

"Now gentlemen," Saya interfered with a honey tone to ease the tension between them. "Let's not even worry about something so trivial. What's done is done. Let's move on to the matter at hand, like you said, Mr. Tsuyoko."

Tsuyoko rubbed the bridge of his nose and looked away. "Yes…well, Shurran should be back today as well. You plan to take her hand, I'm told."

Sesshomaru sighed and looked at his mother. "You were misinformed."

"Is that so? What could a human possibly have that my Shurran doesn't?"

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes and toyed with his cigarette. "I do not recall ever agreeing to marry her."

"You need a wife when you take throne." He spat.

"I am aware of that…but it will not be your daughter."

Kahuska darted his gaze between them. "Well, perhaps we could-"

"I told you this was a bad idea!" Tsuyoko growled. "He is just like his father! A monkey lover, filth…how can we let someone so weak lead our pe-"

"WEAK?" Sesshomaru bellowed as he shot up from his seat and flipped over the coffee table. The small fragile tea set shattered everywhere."Why don't you test out that theory, cat demon!" A guttural growl escaped his throat and everyone looked at him startled.

Tsuyoko stood up into a fighting stance and hissed. He revealed his fangs as he studied Sesshomaru's movements. He gasped when Sesshomaru showed his fangs and hissed as well.

"Perhaps you might want to reconsider your words before you speak!"

Tsuyoko backed away and looked at Saya."Lady Saya, the boy is out of control…what is with this temper?"

Saya shrugged trying to speak but she was just as shocked. Sesshomaru was usually calm and rational. He never raised his voice. He never allowed anything to bother him. He even challenged an elder by revealing his fangs. Fearlessness was nothing new but respect Sesshomaru always had.

"Sesshomaru…"his mother stood up and looked at everyone else. "Perhaps we can discuss this later on. He is tired, we had a long trip."

Kahuska stood up and placed a hand on Tsuyoko's chest. "Come on, friend. We are not enemies here. " he looked at Saya and Sesshomaru. "We'll come back by the end of the week to discuss this. During that time, I hope that much time is conducive to-"

"It is fine…"Saya finished. "Thank you…"

They both bowed and walked off. The others, which seemed insignificant, followed behind them. Saya sighed and sat back down looking at the mess. The butler came in with a woman and they started cleaning up the pieces of broken glass.

"Sesshomaru…"Saya muttered. "What is going on with you?"

"Nothing." He spat and tried to relax. He looked at the broken cigarette in his hands and threw the remnants on the floor. "I suppose I am tired…" he said and looked at his watch. It was barely evening. "I will retire for the night…"he said and left the living room.

He walked up to the room he used to sleep in when he was a child and sat on the bed. He rubbed his eyes and threw himself back onto a pillow. He placed his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling. What was going on with him? No, Tsuyoko was challenging him. He had provoked his temper. He was upset because in all truth, he wanted to lead the clan. It was upsetting him that he, barely twenty one, was offered the position since he was a thirteen. His eyes became heavy as he dozed in and out of sleep. He growled to himself when he heard Kagome in his mind laughing. Her voice was instilled in his thoughts and it was as if he could really hear her. He balled his hand into a tight fist and hit the nightstand next to him. He could do this, he thought. He could forget about her. He had to.

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Kagome stood in the cab as the engine idled. The cab driver wearily watched her through the rearview mirror wondering if she was going to get out. She looked at the house she grew up in and took a deep breath.

"T-thank you…."she said to the driver as she clutched her book bag and got out. She left everything behind at the loft. She was never going back. She didn't say goodbye. She grabbed a few shirts and jeans and left when everybody was sleeping around five in the morning. She couldn't stay there anymore. Her room was near his and every time she heard a door open or close, she thought it was him. She expected to see him pass her room but he didn't come to the loft. She felt bad to have left without saying goodbye to anyone. It wasn't that she was mad at them but she couldn't stay there and she could

foresee Koga trying to convince her otherwise. By the time the sun came up, she didn't know where to go. She hailed a cab and said the first address that came into her mind, which was her mother's house.

She zipped up her hoody as she walked up the driveway. People were leaving for work, kids were leaving for school, and everything looked perfect and quiet in suburbia. She decided to give it one last try. She needed to come back home to the only family she had. She sniffed and pulled out a small compact mirror from her bag and observed her appearance. There wasn't much she could do, she looked like shit. She rang the doorbell and held onto her bag tightly. Her body shivered from the cold weather or it could have been nerves. She hadn't spoken to her mother in a couple of months and their last encounter wasn't so…warm.

She heard footsteps by the door and took a deep breath. She hoped it was Sota but when the door opened, it clearly wasn't. Her mother looked surprised to see her as she held the door open. Different expressions played her face and Kagome couldn't tell what she was thinking. Her mother looked around her expecting to see the demon she was with last time she came.

Kagome lowered her head, shamefully, and cleared her throat. "Hi…"

Her mother frowned. She couldn't grasp how skinny her daughter had gotten. She looked ill as well and she grew worried right away. "What is the matter?"

"Can I…um, I…" Kagome stammered. She practiced this speech since she left the city and the words wouldn't come out. She gave up and buried her face into her hands. Her shoulders shook as she wept into her sleeves quietly. She grew frustrated with her crying spells but she couldn't control it. She was embarrassed and she turned around to leave. What was she thinking to come back here?

Her mother's frown faded as she grabbed Kagome's frail shoulder and pulled her inside. She closed the door and led Kagome to the living room. She grabbed her bag, placed it on the coffee table, and made Kagome sit down. Kagome continued to cry as her mother pulled out a blanket from the closet. She wrapped it around her and blinked back her own tears. She needed to be strong for her daughter right now. She helped Kagome take off her shoes and told her to lie down.

"I will make you some tea. Are you hungry?" she asked but Kagome shook her head.

She ignored it and went to the kitchen anyway to fetch her something to eat. She brewed a pot of chamomile and stirred it while she contemplated. What had she done? What kind of a mother was she? She abandoned her daughter, threw her out to fend for herself and she came back looking as if she were near death.

A tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it. If something had happened to her, she would never forgive herself. She pushed away all the residual stubborn feelings she harbored and poured the tea into a small mug. She glanced at the clock above the stove and shook her head. She grabbed the mug and turned around to exit the kitchen. She gasped when a curious old face popped into view.

"Am I mistaken, Namie, or is that Kagome sleeping on the couch?" the old man whispered.

Namie cocked a brow as she paced quickly back to the living room. She sighed when she saw her daughter passed out on the couch and set the mug down on the coffee table.

"She's exhausted…"she shook her head and looked back at the old man.

"But what on earth is she doing here?" he asked while Namie pushed him out of the room. She raised a finger to her lip for him to be quiet and he frowned. "She looks ill, is she alright?"

"I don't know…"she answered impatiently. She wanted to know as well what happened with her daughter. "let's just….let her sleep for now. We'll figure it out later…" Whatever happened to her daughter, she'd make it better. She'd make up for the pain she had to endure. She'd protect her.

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Kagome woke up to the smell of teriyaki and the sound of cartoons. She groaned as she opened her eyes slowly and looked confused as she looked around. Where was she? She looked over to the couch in front of her and saw her brother in his pajamas watching T.V. Her head turned quickly in all directions and studied the room. She was in her mother's house.

Sota turned his head around and jumped up from the couch. "You're awake!" he said as she sat up. "I can't believe you're here."

I can't believe I'm here, she thought. She cupped her forehead with her hand and winced. A headache rushed up and it pulsated intensely. "W-what time is it?"

"It's nine p.m, you slept all day. I saw you when I came down to leave for school this morning but Mom said not to wake you up. She cooked, are you hungry?"

"Uh…maybe I should go…"she said and stood up. She felt dizzy and her body swayed back.

"Are you feeling ok? You look sick," he said in a concerned tone.

She didn't feel well. Perhaps she did need to eat. She couldn't remember when she last ate. Her brother sprinted out of the living room and she heard voices in the kitchen. He came back with a plate of food and silverware in his hand. Her mother and grandfather followed behind him. They met her eyes and she looked away feeling ashamed.

She stood up again and grabbed her shoes from the floor. Her mother leered bewilderedly and crossed her arms. "Where are you going?"

"I should leave…"Kagome answered.

"No, you should eat." She said and grabbed her shoes from her hand. "You look like you have not eaten for a while. What's the matter; they don't have food in Italy?" She grabbed the plate from Sota and handed it to Kagome.

Kagome was surprised to hear how familiar her mother sounded. It was like she was being scolded again and she sat back down. Her eyebrows twitched, how did her mother know about Italy? She hesitated as she grabbed the plate from her hand. Sota handed her a fork and she began to eat and was shocked at how hungry she was. She practically breathed her food in.

They all watched as she ate ravenously and her grandfather went to bring her seconds.

"Sota, go to bed." Her mother said and Sota groaned.

"But…Kagome.."

"You'll see her in the morning. You have school, get to bed."

Sota pouted as he dragged his little feet away. He turned around and lunged at Kagome with a hug. Kagome fell back into the couch and she hugged him back. He kissed her on the cheek and ran off. Her mother sat across from her and her grandfather sat next to her.

Feeling awkward, Kagome stopped eating. She set her plate down and wiped her mouth. "Um…thanks for the food."

Her mother and grandfather exchanged glances and looked at her as she got up. "Where are you going?"

"I should go…I didn't mean to come back here. I just…"

"Do you have a place to stay?" her grandfather asked as he twirled his thumbs.

"W-well I…I'll find a place. I will stay at a hotel for a little while."

"That's nonsense. Your room is still the way you left it, stay here." He spat.

Kagome lowered her head and looked astonished to see her mother nodding.

"Are you going to tell us what happened?"

Kagome looked to the side and pursed her lips. "not now…I will later, I promise."

"Alright…." Her mother said.

They all sat in silence and her mother turned off the television. "How about you get rest, tomorrow is a new day."

Kagome nodded and they all left the living room. Her grandfather called it a night and went into the den. Kagome glanced at her mother confused to why he was sleeping downstairs as they went up the steps.

"His hip…"she said. "He's getting old, you know…has a hard time going up the steps. We changed the house around. I moved into his room, Sota moved into mine, we made his a guest room. Yours is the only one we didn't touch."

Kagome nodded quietly as they walked down the hallway. She looked at the frames on the wall, pictures of her at her awkward stages of life. Missing teeth, poor choices of clothing coordination, hairstyles she thought were cool at the time. She froze in her steps when she saw a new picture that wasn't there before. It was a picture of her posing for Glamour magazine before she went to Italy. Her mother looked back at her and grinned.

"I saw it one day when I was shopping for groceries and I couldn't believe it. At first I didn't want to buy it but you looked so beautiful, I…I had to." She looked away and opened the door to Kagome's old room.

"So you knew I was in Italy…"

"Who doesn't?" she chuckled. "That's all you hear on television or see in the newspapers. It was a big deal here. Some of the neighbors knock on our door constantly asking if it was you on television, you modeling, you posing for magazines…"

Kagome let out an exasperated sigh. She didn't think the 'lovers' were known here too. This was bad. That would mean she'd have to watch out for the press and paparazzi here as well. "So…you know what happened then.."

"Only what the media says…but you can't always believe it."

"Hard not to…"Kagome rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe how she and her mother were talking. She wasn't really talking to her as a daughter but more as a friend.

"Well, there was one rumor about you having implants…I know that's not true." she chuckled and a laugh blurted out of Kagome's mouth. "We Higurashi women are just naturally thin and…busty."

"Mom!" Kagome laughed aloud as she entered her room. She stopped laughing feeling weird at how everything seemed. It was as if she had awakened from a nightmare. None of it really happened. She never left home in the first place. She looked around her room and forced a smile.

She looked at her frilly princess bed, her fluffy pink rug, and hello kitty curtains. She walked over to the bed and grabbed her hello kitty clock from the nightstand and sat down. Her mother leaned against the doorway with a half smile.

Kagome looked up from the clock and peered around the room with a nod. "I forgot how…pink it was."

"You can stay as long as you want." She said.

"I don't want to be a-"

"You won't…"her mother added quickly.

"Well…"Kagome fell into a daze. It would definitely need rearranging. The pink definitely had to go. "If it's not a problem…I guess I will..for a little while."

Her mother stared at her trying to engage small talk. She hadn't talked to her in months. "Are you still going to model?"

"No.."Kagome replied curtly. "I don't want to…"

"Are you planning to go to college then?"

"Yeah…"Kagome nodded. "I think so."

"Do you know what you want to do?"

"No…but I will figure it out…"

"Alright…well, get some sleep then." She said. "and…about what happened between…"

"Mom?"

"Yes?" She said in a shaky tone. The sound of her calling her 'mom' gave her an urge to cry and fall to her knees begging for forgiveness.

"Good night."

Her mother stared at her for a moment and smiled. "Goodnight…"

She closed the door and Kagome looked around her room some more. She went through her drawers and found old notes and photos. She didn't have much friends in high school, only three of them but they lost touch after graduation. She did see them once when she first moved to the loft. Hojo, whom she hadn't realized she went to school with, invited them. She went into her closet and found a pair of old pajamas. It was a faded blue shirt with a care bear on it.

"God…I was such a geek…"Kagome snorted to herself as she put it on. She walked over to the bed and emptied her bag. Her cell phone bounced off the bed and hit the rug. She picked it up and looked at the screen. Eighty two missed calls? Who calls that much?

Her heart dropped when she saw that she had more than twenty voicemails. Was it him? Was he calling to apologize? Was he worried about her? She'd only been gone a day. She looked through the call log and her eyes narrowed at the screen. He wasn't on it. She tried her best not to be disappointed. Marla called five times, Marques called twice, Sango called three times, Inuyasha called twice, an unknown number called twice, and the rest were from Koga. She lay down on her bed and pressed a button to hear her voicemails.

Sango: 'Kagome, where are you? Call me back?'

Ayame: 'Hey, it's Ayame…just calling to see where you went off to. Sango gave me your number by the way.'

Koga: 'Yo, Kaggy, where you at? Give me a ring when you get this message, I want to talk to you about something.'

Marla: 'Hey, Kagome. I just wanted to see if you could meet me for lunch this week, there is something I'd like to ask you. Give me a call when you can, please.'

Marques: 'Kagome, chéri. Les hommes sont des chiens, ne pleurent pas plus d'il. Il regrettera de laisser jamais un ange comme toi.'

Kagome squinted at the voicemail and looked at the phone. What? She pressed her ear again and she could hear Marla in the background.

'English, Marques. The girl doesn't speak French!-Ah, yes... eh….Kagome, sweeta-heart, eh…dogs are men, he will eh..be sad when he eh…realizes he lost his angel-Dogs are men? You mean men are dogs.' She heard Marla yell and she smiled when they started arguing. 'Give me the phone—Non Rester loin la femme mauvaise -I am not evil. Give me the pho- Beeep'

Kagome sighed as she listened to the other messages. Koga sounded more and more frustrated with each voicemail he left. She felt terrible at how worried everyone sounded. She would eventually call them back. She just needed time.

By the time she got to the last voicemail, she heard silence and then it beeped. She erased all of them and set her phone by her. He didn't call. He didn't care. She slipped her legs into the comforter, wrapped it around her, and closed her eyes. It was good to be back home but she wished she was in his arms right now. She wanted his arms wrapped around her waist, whispering in her ear, kissing her shoulder. No, she told herself as she forced the thoughts away. She rubbed her face against the pillow and tried her best to sleep. Tomorrow, like her mother said, is a new day.

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What a week! Kagome growled as she searched the mall for a salon. She was outside no longer than four hours and it was complete chaos. She scoped out a couple of colleges, ate at a diner, and began to take a stroll around the mall for a half an hour. Even with shades and a hat, people recognized her. She had to run from a paparazzo who'd been following her for an hour. If it wasn't the media, it was someone who watched television once in a while and recognized her.

"Hey, aren't you Kagome Higurashi? The Demon's lover? Are the rumors true, are you guys broken up?" one girl had said.

"Hey, is it true you're single?" another had shouted.

"Are those really your boobs?"

"Screw the demon bitch, you're much prettier."

"What a jerk, he is so hot though, but still what a jerk!"

This could have been avoided had she stayed home but she needed to get out. Her mother and grandfather went to an auction, her brother went to school and she was all alone at home. She was better today than she had been the past few days, she didn't cry so much. She smiled when she found an empty salon and entered it rushing to the desk. A blonde girl looked up at her with a snotty expression as she popped her chewing gum.

"I need to change my hair…" she said and the girl cocked a brow at her. "I need something different…"

A lady in a smock walked over to her and crossed her arms. "You look familiar…"

Kagome sighed and turned to leave.

"Wait…"she said. "I can make it where you don't."

Kagome stopped and looked back. She grinned and took a deep breath as she walked over to the chair. She sat down and loosened her bun and her raven hair fell down her back. The lady gasped at how long it was.

"You sure you want to cut it? I've seen people cry when cutting hair this long."

Kagome stared at her reflection and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and nodded.

"Just…do it."

The lady ran her long skinny fingers through her hair and shook her head. "You want something subtle or something crazy?"

"I just…don't want to look like me right now."

"Okay…"the lady said, but she sounded unsure; like she was making a mistake. What kind of business was she running? She was supposed to make her feel confident about her decision.

After the lady washed her hair, she led her to the chair and started combing out the knots. Kagome looked at her phone as a million texts came in. A week had passed and she was still getting thousands of phone calls but none were from him.

Two hours later and it was like she was truly a different person. Her head felt lighter as her hair bounced off her shoulders in layers. It wasn't bad but she already regretted chopping off her long locks. Now, blown out in long waves, her once ebony colored hair was now light brown with honey toned highlights. It accentuated her hazel eyes and she thanked the lady as she paid her. Still feeling unsure, she walked around the mall and continued to get stares but now people were skeptical.

She zipped up her jacket and left the mall feeling a bit better. Change was good, she told herself as she walked down the crowded street wrapped in her thoughts. She placed her shades on feeling anxious that someone might see her and turned the corner. It was a small step but at least she got out of the house. It was still hard to sleep at night but it was getting better. She'd give it another week before she returned any phone calls.

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Sesshomaru parked his car in a secluded parking lot and reclined his seat all the way back. He didn't feel like going back to his mother's where he'd been staying for the past month, especially after what he did this afternoon. There was another meeting and Tsuyoko continued to press him about Shurran. Still sticking with his decision not to marry her, he challenged him for the throne. It took seven men to stop Sesshomaru from killing him. A few others had gotten hurt from trying to break the fight. Everyone gossiped about how strong he was to take Tsuyoko down. Tsuyoko himself, battered critically, managed to muster enough strength to apologize. He tried to avoid Shurran as she followed him around the house, trying hard to throw herself at him, not caring that he nearly killed her father.

He couldn't go back to the loft, although word from Inuyasha, Kagome had been staying somewhere else but no one knew where and he couldn't go back to the manor, his father wanted nothing to do with him, he assumed. He could rent a room at a hotel but after staying two months confined into a hotel room, it was the last thing he wanted to see.

If it wasn't the clan he was avoiding, it was him trying to escape the paparazzi. For the past month, he could not get from point A to point B without someone asking him about Kagome. It made it tough for him not to think about her. He looked at his cell phone and sighed. He wanted to call her but he was sure she was furious with him. He thought he could do it. He should have listened to his father but his stubbornness stopped him from seeing things through carefully before making any decisions.

There was a sharp pain in his chest that bothered him for weeks and the more time passed, the more it got worse. He refused to speak to anyone, including his father, expecting that he'd

lose control of his temper again. He didn't know who he was or what he was turning into but he didn't like it. He broke things and threw them, snapped at people, raised his voice, he constantly felt edgy and ready to lose it. There was an anger inside of him that hoped someone would test him, he wanted to hurt badly, and for once in his life, he didn't trust himself anymore around anyone.

He ogled the ring he had rested on his dashboard as he took a sip of whiskey from a small bottle of Jack Daniels. He pushed everyone away from his life. He had no one to talk to and there was a sense of loneliness he'd never felt. There was once a time where he enjoyed being alone. The ring glittered in the sunlight and it shone specks of rainbow dots on the dashboard.

The sun was beginning to set behind the building in front of him. Feeling exhausted from days without sleeping, he forced himself to start the car. He put the gear in reverse and backed out of the lot. His birthday was in a couple of weeks and by that time, in order to take the throne; he had to have a wife.

What was he thinking? How stupid had he been? He gripped hard on the steering wheel and turned the corner and stopped at a red light on a busy street. The decorations and carolers reminded him that Christmas was nearing by. He pulled out a cigarette from his pocket and looked around as he searched his pockets for his lighter. The streets were packed with tourists coming out of Rockefeller center visiting the tree. A large Chinese tour group crowded at the steps of St Patrick's cathedral taking pictures. He felt a strong sense to look to his right and when he did, it was like he stopped breathing.

His eyesight was perfect yet he leaned closer not believing his eyes. It looked like Kagome and she was coming out of a store holding a few bags. She looked so different. It was definitely her but he couldn't grasp it. She looked more beautiful than ever in a white winter trench coat. Her hair was much shorter and lighter. He felt himself jerk back wanting to jump out of the car and run after her. A smile grew on his lips slowly but it stopped suddenly when a guy next to her grabbed her arm. He couldn't see his face at first and he panted in anger when he turned around. It was Shinji. His hair was longer and wavy and he wore a long black trench coat with a grey scarf. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her to the opposite direction of where he was.

Cars honked when the light turned green but he failed to move. He watched as they walked away. He could see Kagome laughing as Shinji waved his arms animatedly as if he were telling her a story. The honking persisted and he finally snapped out of it and started driving. He looked around for them again but he lost them through the crowd.

The pain in his chest became intense and he stifled a moan. He rubbed his chest and sped out of there, driving as fast as he could. She moved on. She was dating someone else. He told himself it was for the best. What did he expect, her to go throughout her life alone, pining for him every second? Yes! How could she date someone so quickly, it hasn't even been long since

their relationship was put to an end. He felt his attention fade in and out and realized too late that sirens sounded behind him. He looked through his rearview mirror and cursed to himself as he pulled over. How long had the police been following him? This wasn't happening, he thought. He wasn't even thinking about the police but about Kagome. She couldn't be dating again, she couldn't.

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"Thanks a lot for this…I didn't realize Christmas was coming so soon and I hadn't bought presents for anyone." Kagome smiled as she got into Shinji's car. He shot a grin towards her as he got in.

"It was no problem at all. I'm just glad you finally returned my call. We were all worried about you, you know."

"Yeah…"Kagome mumbled. "I'm real sorry about that but I just…I couldn't talk to anyone for a while."

"It's alright…"he said as he started his car. "By the way, I didn't get a chance to say I really like the new hair; it gives you more of a mature look."

Kagome lowered her head shyly. "Thanks…"

"So…have you gotten in touch with your roommates?"

"No…"she sighed. "I…I'm not ready…"

"Hmm..well then, I should feel lucky that you felt comfortable to call me."

"Yeah, I guess so.." she laughed.

"You know, Marla Baldacci has gotten in touch with every model trying to find you?"

"Really?" Kagome glared out the window. "Why?"

"I don't know…"

"Maybe it's about fashion week. She was trying to get me to do the runway thing.."

"Why don't you?" he asked.

"No…"she shook her head. She didn't want to go through it again. The constant reminders. Although a month had passed, she still had trouble keeping it together. She found out as long as she kept herself busy and away from things that reminded her of him, she was fine. She

enjoyed Shinji's company. He was funny and entertaining and he respected her, although there were moments when he had a flirty remark but he didn't push it.

"I registered for school anyway. I start in three weeks…" she continued.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep…"

"So…"he cleared his throat as he drove out of the parking space. "Is there anywhere else you'd like to go?"

"Um…I don't really care." She shrugged. "I just need to be home by nine."

"Whoa…curfew now?"

Kagome laughed. "No. My little brother has been rehearsing for this play for almost a month and a half. It's in three weeks and I've been helping him out with his lines. I promised him I'd help him with the last scene. He's having trouble getting it right. I think he's nervous. The girl he has a crush on is in the play, I guess."

"Aww, that's cute."

"Yeah…"she said and cleared her throat.

"Hey…"he said and she looked at him. "You think you would be up to seeing a moving this weekend?" he asked but kept his eyes on the road.

Kagome bit her lip. "Um..I don't think that's a good idea."

"We'll go as friends…"he laughed. "It's not a date."

"It's not a date?" she confirmed.

"No."

"Well then…ok. Maybe it sounds like a good idea."

"Cool…it's a date. I mean, a non date…"he teased. "You know what I mean."

She nodded with an unsure laugh. "Yeah, I know…"

She wasn't ready yet, she thought. It was definitely too soon. But when the time came for her to date again, Shinji was someone she'd take into consideration.

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