InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Snow Angel ❯ The Distraction ( Chapter 148 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: CMK2CMM 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Adventure / Comedy / Drama / Romance | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 07.31.2013 | Pages: 1 | Words: 712 | Visits: 530 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Adventure / Comedy / Drama / Romance | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 07.31.2013 | Pages: 1 | Words: 712 | Visits: 530 | Status: Work In Progress
Author's Note: This one has to be one of my favorite chapters of this fic so far, and is inspired by one of my childhood friends, with who I had a similar discussion many years ago.
Chapter 148 - The Distraction *Boredom* (Stella's Soundtrack Challenge)
Several hours later, the group gathered in the dining room for the evening meal. An awkward silence hung in the air, and Sesshoumaru knew instinctively that it was due to Kagome's absence. In an attempt to break the tension, the taiyoukai spoke.
"So, Inuyasha, have you enjoyed walking Mother?"
The hanyou chuckled. "Not a bad gig. She don't like it much, that's for sure."
"Has she behaved?"
"She wiggled like a fish on a hook when I first leashed her, but when she realized she couldn't breathe, she gave up and let me loosen it. She followed along pretty good after that. I had to talk her into actually doing something though."
"What do you mean?" Sesshoumaru asked, curious about his mother's reactions to her new situation.
"She didn't want to go. We walked around the gardens, and she didn't sniff or nothing. I had to remind her that you weren't gonna let anyone clean her room, and if she pissed in there, then she'd be stuck with it."
"And she surrendered in the face of logic?"
"Kinda. The bitch still hasn't taken a shit, and she sure as hell needs to."
"Inuyasha!" Miroku scolded teasingly. "We are trying to eat." Silence fell for a long, drawn out moment, before the monk grinned. "How in the world could you know that?"
"Because she's farting up a storm, and fuck, does she stink! The way she acts, I'm not even sure she knows she's doing it. She certainly doesn't acknowledge it. I don't know how weak her senses are, but she's got to smell it even if it is mostly silent. It's fucking rank. I've heard her stomach gurgle a few times, too."
The hanyou looked over at the giggling children, a smirk on his face. He was enjoying the Lady Mother's situation quite a bit, and he didn't mind letting everyone in on the details. Deciding he wasn't done yet, Inuyasha continued while fighting back laughter of his own.
"It's the weirdest sound when she rips ass. It's almost like a little gust of wind. Just... 'poooof'," he gave his best impression, pursing his lips as he released the breathy sound. "I can't figure it out."
Shippo's eyes lit up, and he practically yelled, "It's because she doesn't have butt cheeks!" The kit suddenly realized the volume of his declaration, and his face burned a bright red. He glanced around, seeing curious expressions on his companion's faces. Even Sesshoumaru looked at least slightly interested, and so he forged through his embarrassment and tried to explain. "Well, it's not the air coming out that makes the sound so much as the skin flapping against itself as the air moves past. Without butt cheeks, she has nothing to make that slapping sound, you know?"
The room was completely silent for a least a whole minute before Inuyasha broke down in howling laughter. Rin giggled, her hands covering her face, and Miroku chuckled as well. Sesshoumaru merely smirked, but his amusement was visible in his eyes, which allowed Shippo to relax and laugh along with them.
"I imagine that this is the first time anyone had discussed the logistics of farting and sound production in the formal dining hall in the Western Palace," Miroku said sagely once he managed to calm himself.
"Indeed," Sesshoumaru agreed.
"At least we're not bored anymore!" Shippo chimed in and everyone nodded. This silliness was far better than the awkward silence they suffered through earlier. If only the Lady Mother knew that, not so very far away, her son and his companions were discussing her bodily functions. Her pride wouldn't have survived.
Chapter 148 - The Distraction *Boredom* (Stella's Soundtrack Challenge)
Several hours later, the group gathered in the dining room for the evening meal. An awkward silence hung in the air, and Sesshoumaru knew instinctively that it was due to Kagome's absence. In an attempt to break the tension, the taiyoukai spoke.
"So, Inuyasha, have you enjoyed walking Mother?"
The hanyou chuckled. "Not a bad gig. She don't like it much, that's for sure."
"Has she behaved?"
"She wiggled like a fish on a hook when I first leashed her, but when she realized she couldn't breathe, she gave up and let me loosen it. She followed along pretty good after that. I had to talk her into actually doing something though."
"What do you mean?" Sesshoumaru asked, curious about his mother's reactions to her new situation.
"She didn't want to go. We walked around the gardens, and she didn't sniff or nothing. I had to remind her that you weren't gonna let anyone clean her room, and if she pissed in there, then she'd be stuck with it."
"And she surrendered in the face of logic?"
"Kinda. The bitch still hasn't taken a shit, and she sure as hell needs to."
"Inuyasha!" Miroku scolded teasingly. "We are trying to eat." Silence fell for a long, drawn out moment, before the monk grinned. "How in the world could you know that?"
"Because she's farting up a storm, and fuck, does she stink! The way she acts, I'm not even sure she knows she's doing it. She certainly doesn't acknowledge it. I don't know how weak her senses are, but she's got to smell it even if it is mostly silent. It's fucking rank. I've heard her stomach gurgle a few times, too."
The hanyou looked over at the giggling children, a smirk on his face. He was enjoying the Lady Mother's situation quite a bit, and he didn't mind letting everyone in on the details. Deciding he wasn't done yet, Inuyasha continued while fighting back laughter of his own.
"It's the weirdest sound when she rips ass. It's almost like a little gust of wind. Just... 'poooof'," he gave his best impression, pursing his lips as he released the breathy sound. "I can't figure it out."
Shippo's eyes lit up, and he practically yelled, "It's because she doesn't have butt cheeks!" The kit suddenly realized the volume of his declaration, and his face burned a bright red. He glanced around, seeing curious expressions on his companion's faces. Even Sesshoumaru looked at least slightly interested, and so he forged through his embarrassment and tried to explain. "Well, it's not the air coming out that makes the sound so much as the skin flapping against itself as the air moves past. Without butt cheeks, she has nothing to make that slapping sound, you know?"
The room was completely silent for a least a whole minute before Inuyasha broke down in howling laughter. Rin giggled, her hands covering her face, and Miroku chuckled as well. Sesshoumaru merely smirked, but his amusement was visible in his eyes, which allowed Shippo to relax and laugh along with them.
"I imagine that this is the first time anyone had discussed the logistics of farting and sound production in the formal dining hall in the Western Palace," Miroku said sagely once he managed to calm himself.
"Indeed," Sesshoumaru agreed.
"At least we're not bored anymore!" Shippo chimed in and everyone nodded. This silliness was far better than the awkward silence they suffered through earlier. If only the Lady Mother knew that, not so very far away, her son and his companions were discussing her bodily functions. Her pride wouldn't have survived.