InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Strength Within ❯ Need ( Chapter 2 )

4/26/04

A/N: Sorry it took so long for an update, but my computer is not always made available to me and I hope you guys understand. Please R&R.

Need

A week had gone by and still the only person who seemed to even care to visit was my best friend.



Hm. guess I'm not as well liked as I thought I was…



Whatever it's not like I need them anyways.



Hey! I know what you're thinking and last time that…



…that was just a fluke I…



I had something in my eye and…



Awhh sh*t! Who cares anymore! Yes I was crying and I don't give a f**k anymore! Everyone can just kiss my beautiful orphan ass and love the taste for all I care! Hm.

After all this time it still hurts to go upstairs and know that there's no one there. I'll admit that it's kind of scary to know that it's always going to be empty and I'm powerless to do anything about it, but (sigh) that's just it I can't do anything about it.

The funeral was three days ago and I couldn't stop crying. I guess that's to be expected form someone who loses their whole family but I didn't expect that from myself. I mean I never cry over anything… and I guess no is as good a time as any right? Hm. this is all just a new experience for me (no duh) but I guess I'll get over it someday…right?

Well my father (god rest his soul) always said, "Everything happens for a reason." And I believe that too, like take "this" for instance, well since my families demise I haven't been to school (I'll probably go back next week… yea better make it next month), family members I didn't even know I had have been calling me and I get about an average of twenty messages per day about how much of a "poor soul" I am and how I must "keep strong" in times where the devil "tries to take hold of me"… yea I know, I know. Well anyways I've also gotten this huge inheritance and I have no idea where I came from, I guess that's why they all call now eh? Hm. greedy bastards, but I'll tell you this now, not one of them is going to receive a single red cent form me! You might say "aww well that's too harsh" or "you should at least give them something" hell no, they get nothing, nadda.



Hmm do you think death has turned me bitter?



…Who cares?




I grow tired of thinking of all this sh*t…I think I'm gonna go for a run, I haven't in a while…my coach is gonna kill me. Maybe that won't be such a bad thing? Track takes up too much of my time anyways. Maybe I won't run after all. Hm. too late I already have my tank top and shorts on… When did that happen? Oh well, I really do need to pay attention to what I'm doing. Hm. well since I already have my stuff on might as well do a lap or two around the block… and I would if this person on my doorstep wasn't here. Oh sh*t… I'm f**ked.

Why is he here? Why is he here? Why is he here? Why is he here?

Almost as soon as I had opened my front door I had collided with something soft and warm. I immediately jumped back recognized it as the person whom had called me on that fateful day asking me to call him back, and calling me again several times after that. I never did return his calls, didn't really want to. I guess I never really expected him to just show up like this out of nowhere. Oh well what harm can he do?
We just stood there staring at each other, neither of us daring to say a word for fear of what the other would say. Our faces mirrored each other, as we both had a look of un-interest and boredom, when in fact we were anything but.

I mean we were shocked to say the least. We haven't seen each other in so long, that its almost like we're meeting each other for the first time.

But it doesn't matter anymore…

None of it does.

It was his decision, not mine.

He deserted me, not I him.

My eyes harden at his and he seemed to know what I was thinking for the moment my face changed he spoke.

"I'm sorry"

For what? I may never know but at this point in time I didn't really care. `Did he just say sorry?' I thought as my eyes widened to the size of saucers. A tiny smile reached his eyes at the sight of me imitating a fish (my mouth was hanging slightly open as well). As I realized this I stood as side and opened the door wider for him to enter, still not speaking a word to him.

`If he thinks that a `sorry' is gonna let him off the hook he is going to be in for a rude awakening.' Hm.

I close the door after him and went to the living room with him following close behind me. With my "emotion-less mask" back in place I sit at he couch with him next to me. We sat in silence until I spoke.

"Why are you here?" I asked staring straight ahead, my half lidded eyes staring at the TV as if it wee turned on.

"To apologize." He stated simply as if it were just that, when in fact in was anything but.

"Yeah well I don't need your apologies (my eyes hardened again and my fists clenched in my lap) so if that's all you came here to do-" and I made to stand up but his hand on my shoulder stopped me. "Wait-"
"Don't touch me!" I violently shrugged off his hand, looking down at the floor in front me. He quickly removed his hand, I didn't dare look at his face. I knew I hurt him but I didn't care, he hurt me too. If I had looked at his face I would've noticed how his eyes darkened significantly and how hard he was clenching his teeth at he moment.

I sat back down onto the couch without even a glance towards him, and said, "I do not want your pity or apologies."

"That's fine, but I don't care about what you want, I'm here to give you what you need." He said in his deep baritone voice.

`Just who the hell does he think he is?'

"You have no idea what I want, and further more no business even thinking about what I need." I gritted out through my own clenched teeth, trying to refrain from yelling. "So as I said before (and I made to stand up again) if that's all than-" And he turned to me as I stood to leave and grabbed my hand and stood by me.

"I said `do not touch me' Sesshomaru. Let go." I spoke with underlying venom in my voice.

How dare he think he can just blow me off the way he did then come back all because he pities me and thinks I "need" him!

I DO NOT NEED HIM!

"If you would stop trying to escape then I will." He spoke with his calmness returning to him.

"Hm. You've had two years to try and talk to me, and you decide to do this now? (scoff) Don't you think that it's a little too late for apologies? `Cause I know I'm way past that, I'm beyond caring about that anymore."

It was then that I noticed that he was shaking very subtly, the hand with which he was holding me with was shaking, just a little, but it was enough for me to notice.

I turned my head towards him slightly with my back towards him when he spoke. "I am sorry for that, (I sigh and roll my eyes) I truly am." He said more forcefully as he spun me around by my arm for me to face him. "You have to know that I'm telling you the truth, I would never intentionally do you harm, but this was unavoidable."

`Is he serious?'

I scoffed as I looked him in the eyes and said "Does it look like I really care?" I asked tilting my head towards him. "Are you really so arrogant as to think that I would be worrying about something as trivial as this when I, without saying, have bigger things to worry about?"

He just stood there, his eyes boring into mine and I will never forget the hurt I saw there as I said these next words.