InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Summer of My Demon Lover ❯ All Alone, But Nothing's Wrong ( Chapter 8 )

Warning: This is sad, and I had to edit it myself, so it's kinda bad.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha, "The Summer Of My German Soldier", or the song used in this chapter (it's by Norah Jone, I forgot the name though).

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It was an amazing day, Sesshoumaru and I talked for hours until I realized what time it was. I told him that I had to get home and that I would come and see him as soon as I could, and he seemed to actually want me to. It's weird how things turn out, he hasn't threatened to kill me in a while, and that (for some odd reason) makes me smile.

I made it back into my room without my father knowing that I was gone, which I am very grateful for.

The rain turned to a light drizzle as I watched it from my window, hopefully this means that I will be able to go out tomorrow. I'm all of a sudden very excited at the thought of seeing Sesshoumaru again, it's a weird feeling that I don't know if I will ever get use to, but I hope I at least get the chance too.

"I hope he sticks around for a while."

In the week that I have known him, I almost forgot that he is in hiding and couldn't just pop up whenever he felt like it. I have to make sure that I keep his secret, otherwise I will be losing my only friend for good, and I do not want that. I thought Shippou was my only friend, but soon after I met him I realized that he was more than my friend, he was my family and I love him like he was my very own son. I guess now he sort of will be, I just have to find the courgae to tell him that his father is dead. I've known this for a few weeks, they announced when they killed all of the wounded youkai that they had captured, and I knew that his father was wounded badly when they caught him.

Youkai's have been healing much slower as of late, they say that they are weaker because of something having to do with the air, and something that has been released into it. Whatever it is doesn't harm humans one bit, but it has made it where the youkai's are less able to protect themselves, so all of the humans in the government took advantage of it right away. If it had not been for Shippou, and now Sesshoumaru, I would have thought that all youkai deserved this fate, but I now know that some are actually good. I could not help Shippou's father, but maybe someday I can help others to honor his memory, and maybe Shippou will help me, and forgive me.

"I guess I'll just have to wait and see."

I gave out a little sigh as I made my way to my bed and sat down. I felt very tired all of a sudden, the day had finally gotten to me, even if I was inside almost all day, being bored took a lot out of me. I took of my shoes and let out another big sigh, I had not gotten new shoes in a long time, so when I had them on for a while I find it most joyous to take them off. I got under my blanket, not even bothering to change my clothes, and I went to sleep, hoping to see a certain demon in the morning.

Spending life dancing
To her favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong
Is all alone

As soon as I woke up I ran to the window, the sun was out and there was no rain in sight, and that my friend was a very good thing. I changed my clothes as fast as I could before I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Hai, they are gone." Kaede answered my question before I could even ask it, she knows me all to well.

"I'm glad for that, I thought I was going to lose my mind being here with them all day everyday." I said as I sat down at the table.

Kaede brought over a bowl of rice and some fried eggs, smiling the whole time, and that made me smile. I swear smiling is contagious, like yawning, which I hate for the sheer fact that it means someone can control you, even if it is just for a second.

"Where's Souta?" I asked after a minute of looking around, it was odd for him not to be up before me.

"Sick." was all she said as she made up a bowl of soup, most likely to take to Souta when he wakes up.

"Too bad, I was going to take him for a picnic at the river like I promised him I would. I guess it'll have to be another day."

It really was too bad, I love my little brother and I hate for him to be the least bit miserable, and I really was going to take him today.

"Hai, he should be well in a few days." she replied as she began to wash some dishes.

I didn't say anything else as I ate, I wanted to get out of the house as soon as I could. It did not take me long to finish, so as soon as I was done I bolted out of my seat and said goodbye to Kaede as I ran out the back door. I could see the headshake Kaede reserved for me as I ran into the forest, she really was like my grandmother.

Eyes wide open
Always hoping for the sun
And she'll sing a song
For anyone that comes along

I ran to the river to see what the rain had done to the waters, but when I got there the river was not the only thing waiting for me.

"Sesshoumaru?" I asked as I stepped closer.

He was sitting at the edge of the water, seeming to be in a very deep thought. I almost turned around and went back, but something stopped me.

"It is very peaceful here." he finally said after a minute of silence.

"Yeah, my mother found this place when she was a child, and she shared it with me." I said as I walked to him and sat down.

The water seemed to be untouched by the rain, like it was sheltered from it, it was beautiful.

"I wish that I could have had something like this as I was growing up, but it seems that my mother did not take as much joy in these simple things as one would have thought." he said with some sort of sadness in his voice, though it was very hard to hear.

"My mother once told me that these 'simple things' are what make life worth living. To have something so perfect, so untouched, so in reach, these are the things that make you feel like you are apart of something wonderful."

"She sounds like she loved life." he was right, she did.

"She loved many things, life just being one." I said as I stared down into the water.

"My mother loved nothing, she was a very sad woman."

"She couldn't have loved nothing, she must have loved you." I couldn't believe that his mother didn't love anything.

"She may have, but I would never know."

Fragile as a leaf in autumn
Just falling to the ground
Without a sound

It was weird to have this conversation with him when just last week he said that he was going to kill me, but then again, it was nice to talk to someone like this.

"I'm sure she did, a mother always loves her children."

"I suppose." he said, though his voice remained the same, it broke my heart.

It was silent again, and I just couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't make me sound like an idiot.

"So tell me, why did you come here today?"

Normally I would have answered that question with a sarcastic remark, but not today.

"Well the rain stopped, so I figured that it would be the perfect day to sit around by the lake." I answered half truthfully, I didn't want to tell him that I came out here to find him, that would seem desperate.

"It does seem like the perfect place to relax at." it surpised me that he said that, I never would have pictured him relaxing, he seemed sort of 'above it'.

"It is, I usually spend every summer here, it helps me just to sit here and think."

"Think about what?" he asked with almost a curious stare, it was kind of cute.

Crooked little smile on her face
Tells a tale of grace
That's all her own

"About the day I finally leave this place, when I'm free from my father and this whole village. I hate the way that they stare at me, whisper behind my back, but most of all I hate the way that they pity me. I don't need their pity, I just need to leave." I almost went into some sort of trance, it's like the words have been building up, just waiting for the day that someone asked me what I was thinking about my life.

"Pity is for the week, for if people could not pity others, then they would only have themselves to pity." he was right, it was for the weak.

Though I do feel bad for some, I never pity them. Shippou is no exception, I feel bad for him, and I want his life to go well in the future, but I do not pity him for how his life has been so far. I do not like when people pity me, because then I know that they know I need help, but they do not give it, they just give me their fake sympathy, something to make them not feel guilty for leaving me to be beaten for nothing.

"My father thinks that I'm weak, and for a while I started to think the same thing. It took a lot of pain to realize that he was the weak one, and that I was strong for not giving into him, for not being scared of him." it was so easy to talk to him.

Fragile as a leaf in autumn
Just falling to the ground
Without a sound

"He sounds like the type of man that must make others suffer for him to feel strong. I truly despise people like that."

"He wasn't always like that, he use to be a great man, but he changed the day my mother died. I wish I could trade my life for hers, but it's not possible." I've said it many times, even to my father, but it always just mad me feel worse because I cannot do it, no matter how hard I wish.

"Do not say that. She gave her life to save your's, so she must have wanted you to live more than herself." he was right, and I knew it, but if she was alive everyone would be much happier.

"I know, and I love her for it, but if she were alive then eveyone would be happy. My brother had to grow up calling someone that doesn't care about us mother, and it makes me sick."

My father told us that she was our new mother. To think of her as the woman who gave birth to us, who loved us with every fiber of her being, it made my inside churn in disgust. I hate him for that. I hate him for the fact that he tried to replace her, I could have dealt with the beatings if he wouldn't have tried to make us forget the woman that showered us with so much love every day of her short life.

"Sometimes I feel so much hate for her, for leaving us behind. If I had a choice, I would have died with her that day, so that I would be happy with her in heaven."

"But if you would have died, you would not be here, you would not be apart of something wonderful."

I couldn't help but smile, he remembered what I said, and now he was using it to make me feel....something.

"If you would have died then you would have never of met me." he just had to continue talking.

"I suppose, and you know that would be such a shame, because I would also not be here to annoy you like there's no tomorrow." I casually said, waiting for the reply I knew would come.

"Oh yes, I forgot about that. Then I must say it is a damn shame that you did not meet your demise on that day."

"Meanie."

"No, but I could be." he said, and then smiled at me, yes that's right, he smiled a cocky little smile.

"That's it. For being such a jerk, you HAVE to have a picnic with me, and you must now refer to me as 'The Queen of all the world'." I know it sounded stupid, but he brings out that side of me.

"I will agree to the picnic, but I will not call you that."

I knew he wouldn't agree to the queen thing, but it was fun while it lasted.

"Fine, but one day I will get you to call me that. I'll go and get the food." I said and stood up without even bothering to wait for an answer.

As I walked away I watched him out of the corner of my eye, and what he did shocked me to no end. He smiled, but not his sadistic little smile, or that cocky one, this was a real smile. It made me smile too, just like most things he does. He always suprises me with the way that he acts, he's cold, yet playful. Sarcastic, yet deep and full of supressed emotions. He's a mystery, a mystery that I really want to solve. I want to know more about him, but I'm afraid that if I try to get to know him more, he'll end up pushing me away, and I really don't want that.

"Maybe if I just be his friend he'll eventually tell me."

It was a good plan in theory, but if it would work is another story. Men, demon or human, tend to like to keep their feelings bottled up inside, like it would hurt their ever precious pride to let someone know how they feel. I've know this for a while, my father did the same thing to my mother, and he still does it to my step-mother, but I really could care less about that. She always complains that he doesn't talk to her, I would figure that she wouldn't care either, just as long as she has enough shopping money to get her through the week.

Spending life dancing
To her favorite song
She's a little girl
With nothing wrong
And she's all alone

"She's probably cheating on him anyway." I whispered to myself, not like it did much good.

"Kagome?" a little voice called out, it was low, but I knew who it was right away.

"Shippou, it's okay you can come out." I called back to some bushes I figured he was hiding in.

He proved me right when he came walking out of the bushes that I was now standing right next to.

"I came to find you, you haven't been around in a while." he said as held his arms out to me.

I held back my laughter as I picked him up.

"I'm sorry, it's been raining for a long time. I'll try to come by more often." I told him as I cuddled him close.

He made it so hard for me to tell him the truth about his father, he was just so innocent, so untouched by the evils of the world. I sighed as I hugged him, he was my responsibility now, and I have to tell him everything soon.

"Would you like to have a picnic with me and a friend?" I asked him after I realized that I was probably chocking him.

"Hai!" he seemed so over joyed, it made me wish I was still that age.

"Then let's go and get the food."

I set him down and he grabbed my hand as we walked back to the house.

"Kagome, what friend are we having a picnic with? Do they like demons?"

I forgot to tell him about Sesshoumaru, I guess I was so happy to have a new friend that I forgot to tell him something that most people would deem very important.

"His name is Sesshoumaru, and he is a demon."

"Is he a nice demon?" the innocent questions of a child.

"Yes, but he has a hard time showing how nice he is." it was hard to answer, but I did it.

I wasn't lying, he does have a hard time showing just how nice he can be.

Shippou ceased his questions about my newly acquired demon friend, and I was thankful for that. I didn't know how many more questions I could answer, more so because I barely know anything about him. When we got back to the house I told Shippou to wait outside while I got the food, he agreed like usual. It only took me a minute to convince Kaede to let me eat in the woods, I told her that I would be back right after lunch, she let me go with the 'but it's such a beautiful day' bit I laid on her. She could never deny me fresh air and sunlight, she believe it makes for healthy and happy children.

"Come on Shippou, I got the food." I called to the little kitsune as I ran out the back door.

He ran after me, but it only took him a second to catch up with me, he was really fast

We walked the rest of the way, just basking in the fresh air of the forest. When we finally got to the river I saw that Sesshoumaru was still there, he actually listened to me and stayed.

"We're back!" I called out to him, waiting for his reaction when he finally notices Shippou.

He just looked at us for a minute before he turned back around, this made me angry to say the least, but I left it slide. I figure he just isn't use to being around very many people, so he probably just doesn't feel like talking or anything.

"Here you go Shippou." I said to him as I handed him a cookie and a sandwich, both of which Kaede made.

As he sat down and ate his food, I walked over to Sesshoumaru and sat down.

"Here." I simply said as I handed him his share of the food.

He took it without looking at me and began to eat.

"Yeah, this is going to be one great friendship."

A little girl
With nothing wrong
And she's all alone