InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Sutras of Love and Lust ❯ Redemption ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter 3

 

A/N: For all of you who like dark, gruesome, angst ridden endings beware: this story does not end like that.

 

Redemption

 

 

InuYasha slammed the door in Kagomes startled face, and ran into the night, away from the village. But there was no running away from his own mind, and it reeled with images of what he had done to Kikyou intermixed with his nightmares. Each one hit him with scalding shame and self loathing, making him shake, sweat and gasp from the pain. To make matters worse, every bit of kindness and caring Kagome had showed him made him feel even worse. He longed for her freely given comfort, but believed he did not deserve it. If she knew what I'd done, she would probably sit me into next week and never be my friend again. I'm a monster, a worse pervert than Miroku, lusting after a dead thing and then forcing her to my will with the sutras. At the treeline, he fell to his knees and screamed, which turned into a long, mournful howl.

 

Miroku, Shippo, Sango and Kilala woke up at the sound of InuYashas departure.

 

“What happened?” said Miroku groggily. “Where's InuYasha?”

 

“Is everything okay, Kagome?” asked Shippo as he, Sango and Kilala came over to them..

 

Kagome swallowed and sighed, looking down at her hands.

 

“Something very bad is bothering InuYasha,” she said quietly, “I don't know what it is, but I am going to find out. I have to go find him”

 

“I'll go with you,” said Shippo “you can't go out at night without someone to track him for you, and protect you too.”

 

“Good point Shippo,” said Kagome, “but I don't know if InuYasha will be too happy to see you. I don't even know how he will react when he sees me. I think you should stay here.”

 

Shippo looked despondently at the floor, and Kagome ruffled his hair in an effort to console him.

 

“Sango, can Kilala help me? I'll send her back as soon as I find InuYasha so you'll know I'm okay.”

 

“Yes, I think that's a good idea. But wait until you get out of village before she transforms.”

 

Sango spoke briefly to Kilala, and the fire cat leapt over to Kagomes side.

 

The night was bright with stars, and the moon was almost full. It helped Kagome keep Kilala in her sight as they walked to the edge of the village. Kilala had just transformed when they heard a heartbreaking scream ending in a long, low howl of pain and anguish.

 

“InuYasha!” said Kagome with a gasp, and Kilala rumbled her agreement, bending down so Kagome could climb on her back.

 

Kilalas keen senses brought them unerringly towards InuYasha, and when Kagome could see his silvery hair shining in the moonlight she had Kilala bring her down. When they were within a few yards of where InuYasha lay sprawled on the ground, Kagome whispered to Kilala to go back, knowing full well that InuYasha probably heard their arrival. He did not move as she ran up to him and knelt by his side.

 

“What's wrong InuYasha, are you hurt?” She said, resting her and on his back.

 

“Go away Kagome, don't touch me.” He rasped.

 

“Why InuYasha? Why won't you let me try and help you?”

 

“Because you can't Kagome, you just can't.” He said, rolling over to look at her, and she saw the tears sparkling in his eyes.

 

“I think you should let me decide that..”

 

“If I tell you then you will really hate me,” he said with a groan, “I'm not worth it, you shouldn't touch someone as dirty as me.”

 

“Is it Kikyou?” she replied, the priestesses name catching in her throat with a squeak, “I heard you saying her name while you were dreaming. Is she trying to lay her claim on you again? I want the truth InuYasha, I can take it.”

 

At the mention of Kikyous name InuYasha squeezed his eyes shut, and dug his claws into the grass at his sides. Gods, Kagome, he thought, there's just no way to make you let this go, is there. I should've known. Might as well tell her, I'm damned just the same. Suddenly he felt her hand, gently wiping the tears from his eyes. Then to his surprise he felt her through herself down on his chest.

 

“You stupid, stubborn, arrogant fool!” She hissed, “I'm your friend, don't be so quick to think I will reject you!”

 

“Your just as stubborn, wench,” he said, and could not stop himself from putting his arms around her and savoring the warmth and sweetness of her in his arms. “Since you must know, I'll tell you what happened, and then you'll see if you still want to be my friend.”

 

 

He began the story after he had taken the scrolls from Miroku, describing how he saw Kikyous soul-stealing familiars and followed them to her. He grated out what happened between them, and how he felt after using the sutra on her, his voice thick with self-loathing.

 

:”Now you see?” he said, “can you see what a disgusting monster I am? To use a sutra to force that undead thing, Kikyou to give into my lust...I'm perverted and despicable.”

 

He fully expected her to pull away from him, call him names and give him a tremendous sit, leaving him there to rot in his hell. Instead, Kagome did not move or say anything. She lay in his arms, and he thought he felt a tear slide into the crook of his neck, only it wasn't his.

 

“What, are you crying for me Kagome?” He said wonderingly, turning her in his arms to look at her starlit face, “are those tears of shame and pity?”

 

“No InuYasha, they're not.” She said, burying her face in his neck and hugging him tightly.

 

“Then why are you crying?” He said.

 

“Because that, cold, undead bitch obviously doesn't love you. What you did was not right InuYasha, but I understand why you did it. And I will never let her take you to hell, ever. You don't deserve that.”

 

“You don't think I'm some kind of perverted monster?” He said.

 

She leaned up on her arms and looked into his wondering face.

 

“I could never feel that way about you,” she said, “don't you see?”

 

“Yes, I think I do,” he murmured, brushing her long hair off her tear stained face, and gazing at her in amazement.

 

It felt to InuYasha like all the pain and self disgust was leeching out of him, slowly being replaced by her warmth and undying acceptance of him. Never in his life, since the death of his mother, could he have imagined anyone could care about him this much. He took her face in his hands, and she let him gently bring her face down to him, giving her a soft, light kiss on the lips and feeling her sigh as the tension left her. His breath caught as she pressed her lips more firmly against his, her arms snaking around his neck. The warmth inside was spreading, as he deepened the kiss and tasted the sweetness of her mouth. Urgently she returned it, sliding her tongue sensuously against his. He could feel her pulse rate quicken, and sense her arousal.

 

 

Suddenly he broke away from her.

 

“Kagome, I don't -“ he started to say but she shushed him.

 

“You don't need a sutra for me, InuYasha.” She said, “I'm not Kikyou, and I want this. That is, if you want me.”

 

“Gods yes, I do.” Breathed InuYasha, and crushed her to him.

 

They pulled at each others clothes feverishly, their mouths locked together in a kiss they strove not to break. After rolling around they disentangled themselves from their shed clothing, and InuYasha lay on top of her while she wrapped her legs around his waist. Oh, she felt so glorious in his arms, all warm sweetness and softness, and he ran his tongue over her neck and shoulders, hearing her blissfully moan in response. He ran his tongue between the cleft between her full breasts, as he took them in his hands and ran his thumbs lightly over her nipples, and she hissed in pleasure and arched her back. Then he continued on, circling her flat stomach and running his tongue over her belly button before burying it in her fragrant curls, tasting her sweet arousal. She gasped, her finger nails raking his back. He came back up to find her lips and let his cock tease her hot wet opening, pressing in a little at a time and pulling back.

 

“Kagome,” he said, “are you sure you want this?”

 

“Yes, please, I want to feel you inside me.” She said.

 

“I'll try and be gentle,” he said, “you know this might hurt.”

 

“It's ok,” she replied, “I'm ready.”

 

He took his time, going in a little deeper each time, stretching so she got used to the feel of him, until he reached the barrier of her maidenhead. He then broke it quickly and lodged himself deep inside her, waiting for her to adjust to the feeling of him. His cock throbbed for release, but he took it slowly, gauging her every reaction to him. When he felt her move her hips to meet his thrusts, he increased his pace, and she kept up with him. She broke away from their kiss as she reached her climax, arching her neck and emitting a soft shriek. Gratefully he felt her release, her tight walls squeezing him and the fluids of her climax gushing around him. Spurred on by her passion, he quickened and deepened his thrusts until he was over the edge, coming deep inside her with rumbling growl. He collapsed on top of her, careful not to crush her as they lay together, panting. Then he carefully rolled off of her and picked her up to cradle her on his chest.

 

“Thank you Kagome,” he whispered to her.

 

“No reason to thank me,” she said, “I've always been here for you, always wanted this. I'm sorry it took such a terrible experience for you to realize it.”

 

InuYasha kissed the top of her head, and gently stroked her arm, knowing she was right. Redemption had been right there with him, all along.

 

 

 

 

 

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