InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Syndrome ❯ If Only You Could Understand ( Chapter 21 )

Chapter 21 - If Only You Could Understand

 

 

Inuyasha let out a snort. “Love? You think he loves her?”

 

Katsuro shook his head at his younger son. “Sesshoumaru would not be suffering from the Syndrome if he did not love her. He has merely been denying it to himself all this time.”

 

“If the bastard loves her then why is he such an asshole to her?”

 

“I've never seen him be anything but cordial to Kagome, cold but still polite.”

 

“Yeah, well you missed out on yesterday. First he basically called her a whore and then he was a jerk when she tried to offer him dinner. Ended up with a carpet full of taco sauce for his trouble too.”

 

Katsuro couldn't help but smile at the last part. “She is a feisty one, isn't she? But explain to me how he `basically' called her a whore.” Inuyasha launched into his tale of Kagome and the shower, Miroku commenting here and there as well. Their tale was followed by their pre and post dinner entertainment. By the time they were finished the elder inu was sure that Sesshoumaru was truly in love with her. Only love could cause him to freeze like he had, to be so distracted he allowed himself to be struck. Only love would cause his son to allow Kagome to speak to him as she had. Too bad his son's pride had gotten in the way. They could have been bonding right now if he hadn't been such an ass about the pity thing. She was right to pity him. He'd screwed his life up royally and now he just might, no, most likely would die because of it.

 

Finally the contractor caught his attention and conversation was turned to focus on what they wanted done and how fast. They discussed how the workers could only come in and out at certain times and a rough schedule was made. Now they just had to figure out how to get the poor guy out of the basement without Kagome seeing him.

 

 

@@@@@The Syndrome@@@@@

 

 

 

Kagome loved French toast. It was easy, much easier than pancakes. Her pancakes always ended up burned on one side and uncooked in the middle. Pancakes just weren't her friends, but French toast? She was the queen of French toast. With Shippo's help she'd made a huge platter stacked high with it, knowing that the guys hadn't eaten yet. She was just about to call for them when Miroku popped his head into the room.

 

“Kaggie! There you are my love!” His eyes widened as he sniffed the air. “French toast?” He smiled as she nodded. “Beautiful! Can you come here for a minute?”

 

Kagome gave him an odd look but followed him into the living room. When they got there the monk was looking around frantically, trying and failing to find something to engage her in discussion about for a moment. “Miroku? Is there some reason you needed me to leave my food? I'm hungry you know and…”

 

“I wanted to ask you… I… um… I was wondering…” Finally the perfect thing struck him. “I wanted to know if you've given any thought to Inuyasha's birthday this year. I know you always like to do something but I haven't heard you mention it yet.”

 

Kagome furrowed her brows. “His birthday isn't for almost a whole month. What do you really want?”

 

Miroku swallowed nervously but was saved just in time.

 

“Is that French toast I smell my dear?”

 

Kagome turned and smiled brightly. “Yep! And I made a lot so you have to have some. Do you know what you're going to do about…” she lifted her eyes to the ceiling. Seeing that Kagome was adequately distracted, Miroku took off, not wanting to be there if she remembered her unanswered question.

 

“About my fool of a son, no, I haven't figured out what to do yet. I suppose it depends on if I can communicate with him or his beast while he is in that form. I can't put you at… I mean I can't risk him hurting someone while his beast is in control.” He held his breath, praying she hadn't caught his little slip-up. He let out a sigh of relief when she smiled.

 

“I'm sure you'll figure something out. Isn't there some way to help him regain control so he'll turn back?”

 

“I just don't know sweetheart. I haven't seen or heard of a demon taking his true form for centuries. If his beast truly has complete control I fear the only way Sesshoumaru can regain it would be for the beast to surrender control to him.”

 

“Do you know what his beast wants? Maybe if it gets what it wants it will let go.”

 

“My dear Kagome, I don't think there is any chance of the beast getting what it wants,” he said in a sad tone. `It's too bad really. If he hadn't screwed everything up my sweet Kagome would really be a part of the family, a permanent part.' He growled in frustration as he thought of his son's foolishness.

 

“But if it doesn't get what it wants, didn't you say he would die?” Kagome asked with her voice full of worry and compassion which caught Katsuro's attention. Maybe things weren't as bad as Inuyasha and the others made it seem. Maybe she could forgive Sesshoumaru. Maybe she would give him another chance.

 

“Yes my dear, but what the beast wants is not easily attainable. My son has a bad habit of pushing people away and this time is no different.”

 

“It has something to do with a girl though, doesn't it? Probably a beautiful inu demoness. If that's what the beast wants, well I can't really see a girl turning down his advances. They've always been chasing after him, for as long as I've known your family.” Kagome meant it too. He was gorgeous after all. Every girl in school had wanted him. They talked about him endlessly and didn't even seem to notice when he ignored or even insulted them. They still wanted him.

 

“But this girl is special. She would not want him for his appearance, his money, or his power. The girl he desires would have to truly love him as he loves her.” A growl from the doorway caught their attention and they both turned and looked at Inuyasha. Katsuro had a rather guilty expression on his face but Kagome didn't notice it. She was more worried about what had her friend so upset.

 

“Inuyasha? Are you alright?”

 

His voice was stiff and cold as he answered. “Sure wench, I'm fine. Go eat your breakfast before it gets cold. My father and I will be there in a minute.” Kagome looked back and forth between the two before shrugging. She was too hungry to worry about what Inuyasha was being pissy about this time. It was always something.

 

They both watched her leave before Inuyasha growled again. He whispered angrily at his father, “I thought we agreed not to tell her!”

 

“She asked me, Inuyasha. Calm down. It's not like I told her it was her! I already told you I can't do that, because it wouldn't work if she didn't truly love him. I think you may be wrong about her though. I think there might still be a chance if he can find a way to spend time with her and not fight his feelings. She doesn't seem completely closed off to him. She even sounded worried.”

 

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed. “You will not take advantage of her caring and trusting personality to push her on that bastard! He doesn't deserve her.”

 

His father sighed. “There is something you still don't know, Inuyasha. For Sesshoumaru to have the Syndrome, the female his beast has chosen is his soul mate. She should be drawn to him just as he is drawn to her. No matter how you feel about it, Kagome is meant to be with your brother, just as your mother was meant for me.”

 

“I don't believe you. There is no way in hell that Kagome is drawn to him! There is no chance that she's his soul mate! No way!”

 

Bankotsu leaned his head into the room. “Inuyasha!” he hissed. “If you keep yelling it won't matter if he was telling her or not because you're going to! Both of you come and eat before she gets suspicious!”

 

Inuyasha growled his displeasure but stalked back to the kitchen anyway, followed by his father who looked to be deep in thought. `Sesshoumaru my boy, you might still have a chance.' He wasn't sure that his son deserved her, but that didn't take him out of the running yet. He didn't think he deserved his beautiful Izayoi but she loved him anyway. Sesshoumaru might get lucky yet.

 

 

 

@@@@@The Syndrome@@@@@

 

 

 

The scent of something absolutely delicious had made its way upstairs and to his powerful nose, causing him to whimper softly. He didn't want to be locked in his room. He wanted to be downstairs where he knew she was. And she was cooking again! Sesshoumaru and his beast were both curious as to why their father hadn't come to check on them. Sesshoumaru wondered if his father would even be able to understand the beast when he finally did. Their time was spent straining to hear whatever was happening downstairs since there was nothing else to do to pass the time. They'd failed miserably in their attempts to think of some way to remind her of her initial attraction or form a plan to earn her love and affections. Things were beginning to look hopeless.

 

White ears twitched at the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Someone was coming. The beast rose and moved to stand at the door, waiting for someone to speak or for something to happen.

 

“Well? Now what?” he heard Inuyasha say. The hanyou sounded rather frustrated and they both wondered if it was due to his knowledge of their interest in the miko. A whimper escaped the large white dog at the thought of Kagome as the pain increased.

 

The boys and Kagome watched in surprise as Katsuro began to whine, growl, and bark at the sutra covered door. None of them except Shippo could understand a thing, not even Inuyasha as being a half-demon had left him without the instinctive ability to speak in inu.

 

`My son, tell me what occurred.'

 

Sesshoumaru's beast responded eagerly, thrilled that they would be able to communicate. `I have gained full control of our body. My other half has done more than enough damage to our relationship with her.'

 

`Your brother and the others have deduced that it is Kagome that both the beast and the civilized half desire. Is this correct?'

 

`Kagome is meant to be ours and I will not stop until she is where she belongs.'

 

`How do you intend to solve things while in your true form? She will not be able to understand you.'

 

`We have yet to form a plan, though we may have an idea. We were hoping you would have suggestions since you said that you also suffered from the Syndrome and survived.'

 

`If I were to release you, could you assure me of Kagome's safety? I will not put her at risk.'

 

There was a low threatening growl before their conversation continued. `Neither of us would ever do her harm. We would never hurt our mate.'

 

`I do believe that all hope is not lost, my son. She is worried for you. She still cares so she has not yet closed her heart to the possibility.'

 

Both Sesshoumaru and the beast let out sighs of relief. `At least there is a chance, though the hanyou is sure to get in the way.'

 

`I will ensure that he does not interfere. Tell me of your idea.'

 

`When she first saw us she felt the connection. He was cruel to the hanyou then and she witnessed it, causing her to reject her attraction to us. We were hoping to find a way to remind her of that initial feeling.'

 

Katsuro smiled. `That is an excellent idea. And the Syndrome is not entirely negative. It allows you some options you would not have otherwise.'

 

Red eyes widened in surprise. `What options? Tell us!'

 

`First of all, fate is on your side. For you to have the Syndrome at all proves that Kagome is your soul mate. She really was made just for you. The rest I will explain later. I am sure you would like to leave your room. You are probably hungry. If you have… `business'… to do, I suppose you would have to do so outside in your current form. But first I require your word on her safety. It would also probably be best if you avoided direct contact with her until I speak with your brother and the others.'

 

`This Sesshoumaru gives his word that our miko will be completely safe in our presence and you are most likely correct. The hanyou would surely react poorly if we were to approach her now.'

 

`She's our soul mate? Then she has to accept us and love us!' Sesshoumaru thought, suddenly filled with hope.

 

@@@@@The Syndrome@@@@@

 

 

 

No one had any idea what was going on for sure, but each had guessed that Katsuro was somehow communicating with Sesshoumaru's beast. Inuyasha was still glowering, his eyes burning a hole in the back of his father's head, so he wasn't paying much attention. Miroku and Bankotsu found it absolutely fascinating, witnessing the two communicating in their demon tongue. It wasn't a common sight in the least.

Shippo wasn't as impressed since he could understand some of it himself. The inu and kitsune languages were very similar in some ways but very different in others so he couldn't get the whole picture of what was being said, but he was catching enough to understand that Sesshoumaru's beast was in complete control and definitely desired Kagome. He also understood that it meant her no harm and that she wouldn't be at risk if he was released.

 

Kagome couldn't keep the grin off her face. It was just too funny to see Katsuro barking and whining. Growling she was used to. Most demons seemed to be fond of it. But Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru's father, she'd never imagined she'd see him like this in her entire life. It just wasn't something the professional and respectable man would do. She wished she could understand them. She was really curious, not only about what the two inu were discussing, but also about what Katsuro had said before Inuyasha interrupted them. It seemed like he had been trying to tell her something without coming right out and saying it. She liked riddles and all, but this was just too confusing.

 

Sesshoumaru's beast wanted a certain female that would love him not for his appearance, his money, or his power. But how could it be so sure? How could the beast know the true intentions of another? How had it picked the girl to begin with? And why hadn't he just shown his interest in her? Why did he wait so long to say anything to his father about it? And there was something in the way Katsuro looked at her when she'd mentioned an inu demoness that made her think that it wasn't an inu demoness after all. But Sesshoumaru hated humans so there was absolutely no way it was a human girl. Maybe it was just a different kind of demoness?

 

She felt bad for the beast. From what she understood, the beast had picked this girl, desired this girl, and Sesshoumaru denied it. She still couldn't help but wonder why Sesshoumaru was the way he was, why he pushed everyone away, why he was always so cold and why he seemed to prefer a solitary life. He had to be lonely. Every living creature needed contact with others, not just conversation, which she knew he avoided, but actual physical contact. Humans and demons alike needed to be touched, needed the comfort that a simple hug could give. How he managed to live without it all this time amazed her. He had to be lonely.

 

Her mind was drawn to the first time she'd ever seen him. He was so beautiful and when their eyes met she felt like she had just been struck by lightning. She'd felt it then, a tugging feeling, like she was hooked and being reeled in towards him. She probably would have followed it if it hadn't been for the way he'd treated his brother. She still had no idea why there was such animosity between the two. Inuyasha had explained that Sesshoumaru hated him because he was a half-demon but she felt like there was something more. There had to be something else for one brother to treat another so poorly, half-brother or not.

 

She had tried to push that feeling out of her mind but it never worked. It was always there in the background, whispering to her that it hadn't been a one time thing. It hadn't been a fluke. She was still drawn to him. She was still attracted to him, but she refused to even think about being with someone who could be so horrible to their own family. She loved Inuyasha and she couldn't forget the way Sesshoumaru had hurt him so many times. He hadn't deserved the cruelty, especially not from his brother, so she locked away her feelings. She could never act on them, not just because of the way he treated his sibling but because she knew he would never want a human anyway. She wasn't willing to put herself out there and get her heart handed back to her in a million pieces. He'd never feel the same about her, so why bother?

 

She knew there was something hiding in there though, something he was trying to keep from the world. She refused to believe he was truly so cold, that he honestly thought he needed no one, that he really wanted to be alone. No one wanted to be alone, especially not for as long as Sesshoumaru had been. Kagome wished he hadn't pushed her away. She wanted to help him. She was having the same feeling as she'd had with each of her friends, the pull that told her it was meant to be. She was meant to be Sesshoumaru's friend, just as she was meant to be Bankotsu, Miroku, Inuyasha, and Shippo's friend as well. If only he hadn't been so rude and made her so angry, maybe they could have taken the first steps to becoming friends. Being friends with him was better than nothing.

 

With a nod of her head Kagome decided that she would help him. Even though he'd been rude and just plain mean, he needed help. He would die if he didn't get the girl and she couldn't stand the thought of him dying because of unrequited love. She would help him in whatever way she could. She would help him figure out what he wanted to say to her. She would help him catch her attention. She would help Sesshoumaru with anything that he needed, because that's what friends do. Friends help each other.

 

 

@@@@@The Syndrome@@@@@

 

 

 

Katsuro finally stopped `talking' to Sesshoumaru and turned around to look at Miroku and Kagome. “It is safe to release him from his room. Could you please remove the sutras?”

 

“No fucking way!” Inuyasha yelled in protest. “No way will that bastard run around here with his beast in control!”

 

“Inuyasha,” Katsuro said in a very fatherly tone. “You will not interfere. Sesshoumaru will be released and then you, your friends, and I will have a talk.”

 

The hanyou knew that tone. He frowned and stared at the floor, knowing that his father would do what he wanted and that he'd better behave or he'd be in for a world of hurt. “He'd better stay away from her,” he said in a voice so soft only his father, Shippo, and Sesshoumaru's beast heard it.

 

The beast wanted to snarl in anger. `How dare the hanyou try to keep us from our mate?!' Sesshoumaru did his best to calm the beast, all the while keeping a tight hold on his own rage. It wouldn't do for them to maul their half-brother in front of her, knowing how much she cared for the fool. She would never forgive them.

 

Katsuro noticed the smile still gracing Kagome's lips. “Do you find something entertaining, my dear?” he asked in a teasing tone, smiling as she blushed and looked away.

 

“Sorry, I didn't mean to stare or anything. It's just… I never expected to see you barking!” She started out in a soft voice but was laughing by the end.

 

“We are dog demons, darling. Would you do the honors since it appears your friends have all turned to stone?”

 

She looked at him, confused for a moment, before she realized what he meant. “Yeah, sure,” she said, walking up to the door. Inuyasha took a step to stop her but one glare from his father stopped him. They all watched as she reached up and peeled sutras from the door one by one until they were all gone. It seemed like everyone but Katsuro was holding their breath, each expecting him to come crashing through the door as soon as the barrier was weakened enough. It was rather anticlimactic when nothing happened at all. Kagome looked at the door, her head tilting to the side in thought, and couldn't stop the smile the crossed her face when she heard a small whimper. In her mind it was like she could hear him saying `Could you please get the door? I don't have hands.'

 

Sesshoumaru and the beast had felt the barrier weakening as she pulled one sutra after another away. They could feel the hum of her miko energy that rose to release each paper spell and it was absolutely exhilarating. He would have to remember to thank his father for having her be the one to release him. It felt like she was welcoming him, freeing him.

 

When all four guys moved to pull her away from the door Katsuro let out a warning growl. He was going to have to have a serious talk with all of them. He refused to allow them to get in the way. His eldest son's life depended on him getting one more chance with her and they would not prevent it from happening. It would be Kagome's choice in the end whether she allowed Sesshoumaru to be anywhere near her, let alone gave him the chance to make a more positive impression. He watched with a smile as she slowly opened the door.

 

As it swung inwards everyone got their first look at Sesshoumaru. He was the size of a Saint Bernard and his fur shone silver just as beautifully as his hair did. His crimson eyes looked up at her from where he was sitting patiently. When she smiled he felt his heart clench and a small whimper of pain escaped the beast. When she heard the pitiful sound her head tilted to the side in question, causing both taiyoukai to wonder if she didn't have some inu in her after all. She had all the mannerisms of a dog demon.

 

“He's beautiful,” she whispered, mostly to herself though everyone heard her. Seeing a chance, the beast rose slowly and walked towards her, curious as to how she would react. Would she be afraid of the beast? Was she still angry at him? He moved at almost a crawl, waiting for her to back up or for any hint of worry or fear in her eyes, but she gave no signs at all that she wanted him to stop. He spared a glance at her friends, seeing that each except for Shippo was staring on in almost terror. They should know better. He loved this human girl, this beautiful angel of a miko. He would never cause her harm, either half of him. He knew it was only because of his father that they hadn't already swept her away to `safety'.

 

Kagome merely watched as the giant silvery white dog approached her. She knew she should be afraid but she just couldn't be. The way he was looking at her… she knew he wouldn't hurt her. He had that same pleading look as he had the night before, as if he was silently begging her not to send him away. Her body moved without her permission as she dropped to her knees and held out one hand, palm up as a peace offering, not that she needed one.

 

Katsuro felt a great deal of his worries and fears disappear as she held her hand out to the beast that was his son. There was no fear in her scent. She was welcoming the beast, offering her friendship even, with that one small gesture.

 

Sesshoumaru knew that if he was in his human form there would be an unmistakable and unrestrained smile on his face. He was still locked inside, watching and feeling everything second hand, but she was accepting them. He would find a way to make her his. He still had a chance.

 

The beast gently nuzzled his muzzle against the palm of her hand, still half expecting her to pull away. When she didn't, he pulled back just enough to sniff her soft skin, loving the way his scent was mixed with hers, before his long pink tongue slipped out to drag across her palm. She tasted amazing and she still hadn't pulled away. Another tongue kiss and then a longer, more affectionate nuzzling was met with a soft giggle. He looked up into her eyes, curious as to why she was laughing, and the happiness in her eyes caused all the pain in his chest to disappear. He lowered his head slightly, nudging at her hand, wanting to feel her touching him, stroking his fur lovingly.

 

Getting the message she moved her hand to gently brush through the fur on his head. He let out a pleased purr that was met with another giggle. His eyes closed in pure ecstasy as her fingertips traced first the blue crescent moon over his brow and then the magenta lines on the sides of his muzzle. It could only have felt better if she was touching his face, his skin. He'd always ached to feel her touch him and even in this form he was not disappointed. “Well look at that,” she whispered. “Not such a big meanie like this, are you?”

 

`Not to you my Kagome. Never to you,' the beast thought and somewhere inside Sesshoumaru agreed. His eyes opened and met with hers again and he wished she could understand him, wished he could talk to her, tell her all the things he'd always been to afraid to say. The beast whimpered aloud, agreeing with Sesshoumaru. She needed to understand them or no real progress could be made. `Kagome, if only you could understand me,' he said in whines and soft woofs. He almost whimpered when she turned away until he realized what she was doing.

 

“Papi, what did he say?”

 

The older inu smiled down at the sweet girl he loved as a daughter. “He said that he wishes you could understand him.”

 

Her eyes softened and she turned back to the large inu before her. “I'm sorry I can't understand you. But your demoness, she should be able to, right?”

 

The dog's head turned sharply to look at his father. `What demoness does she speak of? What has she been told?'

 

“I'm guessing that was to you?” she said with a smile to Katsuro.

 

He nodded before answering his son's beast. `She knows of the Syndrome and that it somehow involves a female. The others told her before they realized it was her. She simply assumed that you would desire an inu demoness and I could not tell her otherwise. She cannot know that she is who your beast desires until she already cares for you. If she were to mate with you simply to save you the mating wouldn't take and you would die.'

 

`So I am supposed to allow her to continue to believe this nonsense? You will tell her that I have no interest in any demoness.'

 

`But then she will want to know who it is.'

 

`And you will tell her that you cannot say, but she cannot continue to think that we desire a demoness. It is bad enough that she believes we hate all humans. We cannot make progress with the deck stacked against us!'

 

Kagome was watching in confusion. The beast sounded angry with his father, while Katsuro sounded almost pleading.

 

`There are a few benefits I have yet to tell you of. You may be able to tell her that yourself.'

 

`That is not good enough! Tell her now!'

 

Katsuro let out a sigh before he turned and smiled at Kagome. “He wishes for me to tell you that it is not a demoness he desires.”

 

Kagome furrowed her brows in confusion. “But I thought the beast wanted a girl. He hates humans; he's always made that very clear. How can it be anything but a demoness?” She watched as Inuyasha snarled threateningly at both his father and his brother and wondered what his problem was. She heard a more feral sounding snarl from her side and turned back to see the beast standing with hackles raised and looking ready to pounce on Inuyasha. “What the hell?” she said loudly.

 

Katsuro looked from one son to the other before returning his attention to Kagome. “Not everything about Sesshoumaru is truly as it seemed. He does not hate all humans and he does not desire a demoness. I cannot tell you more and it would be wise not to ask. There are some things that cannot be shared, and I have a feeling we'll have a dog fight on our hands if the subject continues.”

 

Kagome frowned, displeased with the less than thorough answer. She growled in frustration and glared at both the beast and Inuyasha. “Knock it off, will ya?!” she yelled before lifting herself from the floor and stomping past everyone to head downstairs.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's note: To everyone on my updates lists, sorry you didn't get an email for the last or for this update. The stupid site I am using decided not to work for me, so I've emailed their help but haven't heard back yet. Hopefully I will soon, because I really don't wanna have to find another site and start the lists all over again. Too annoying for words.