InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Syndrome ❯ Not What I Expected ( Chapter 27 )

Chapter 27 - Not What I Expected

 

 

 

Kagome spent the rest of the afternoon reading her biology textbook, though she found it rather hard to concentrate. Sesshoumaru stayed by her side for a while, but she couldn't help but wonder where he went when he finally got up and left the room. It was comfortable, having him there beside her. She didn't understand why, why it felt right with him by her side, why she almost missed him when he was gone, why the feelings she'd tried to lock away, hoping they would just disappear, had returned stronger than ever.

 

 

@@@@@The Syndrome@@@@@

 

 

The downside to his current form had made itself evident. Sesshoumaru had stood in the bathroom, just staring at the toilet for a good ten minutes before letting out a frustrated growl and going downstairs. As embarrassing as it was, he had to ask Shippo to open the back door for him. It was a good thing Inuyasha was pouting in his room, because if he'd said a single word the hanyou would likely have gotten his throat ripped out. Really, he was a dignified demon and being reduced to using the yard as his `facilities' was degrading.

 

`Just how long do you intend to keep us in this form?' Sesshoumaru questioned the beast.

 

`When I am certain that you can and will cause no more damage to our relationship with her, I will consider surrendering control, and not a second sooner. This Sesshoumaru has made more progress with her in one day than you have made in four years.'

 

Inside his mind Sesshoumaru sighed. He couldn't say the beast was wrong. He had done an excellent job of screwing things up while he had control. Maybe staying like this a while longer wouldn't be so bad. She seemed to be more open towards him, more accepting of his presence, and that was what they needed if they wanted to earn her love. It seemed that the beast found it much easier to show affection and to speak honestly with her. Already she was curious about him. She was even willing to help him gain the girl's attention. If only she knew that it was her attention he needed.

 

They had both found that thinking while in her presence was nearly impossible. Her sweet scent was too distracting. The feeling of being wrapped in her aura was so soothing that they'd nearly drifted off to sleep. When she reached over and ran her fingers through his fur he could have died a happy demon… well, maybe not died, but he was as close to happy as he'd ever been, and all because of her touch.

 

Since it was too hard to think and plan in her presence, he'd stayed downstairs instead of returning to his… no, their… room. He made himself comfortable in the living room and was soon surprised when her friends, minus Inuyasha of course, joined him. He was certain that even though they'd helped him by telling her about Inuyasha's provocation they were still against him working his way into Kagome's favor. Apparently he was wrong.

 

“Your father told us that she is your soul mate and we've given it some thought,” Bank said from where he sat at the edge of his seat, looking down at the dog that was meant for his best friend. “We think he's right, and if he's right then we will help you. Kagome's happiness is all that matters to us, and if she'll be happy with you then that's what we want for her.”

 

Miroku nodded, but Shippo still had a reluctant look on his face. “I need to know something first,” the kitsune said softly. “You don't like us, Inuyasha especially. If she becomes your mate… will you keep her from us?”

 

“Shippo, we talked about that,” Miroku interjected before Sesshoumaru could respond. “She would never leave us.”

 

“I know, I know, really I do, but I need to hear it from him. I don't want her to have to choose. She shouldn't be forced to choose between her friends and her soul mate. It's just not fair. I want to make sure that he won't do that to her before I agree to help him.” Miroku sighed but nodded. He felt the same way, but he really didn't want to know the answer, afraid it would be what they all dreaded.

 

Sesshoumaru looked at them one by one. He didn't know them very well and they'd been friends with his brother and the love of his life for over four years, except for the kitsune of course. What he did know, however, was how strongly she felt about them. He'd witnessed her loyalty time and time again. Her attachment to them was unbreakable. It was one of the things that made her perfect in his eyes, how she stood up against anyone and everyone, even himself at times, to protect her friends. It didn't matter who stood against her, they didn't stay standing long. She could bring them all to their knees at her feet with just the strength of her love.

 

He was actually present the day she took on the entire school for the hanyou's sake, pushing herself past the point of exhaustion to teach them all a lesson. Her miko energy had danced around him slightly different than the rest of the students then. He could feel Inuyasha's pain but it was nowhere near as excruciating as the others had described, though he never did figure out why. He was one of the hanyou's worst tormentors, if not the worst, but he was spared most of the pain. Now he wondered if she subconsciously shielded him. Was it possible that the initial attraction she'd admitted to earlier never faded? Could she still have feelings for him lurking somewhere inside her? Just the thought made his heart feel lighter.

 

`This Sesshoumaru is aware of how Kagome feels about each of you, and I would never force her to choose. We will just have to find a way to get along for her sake.' Shippo translated and he watched as a look of relief spread across each of their faces. `How is it that you intend to assist this Sesshoumaru?' The kitsune was getting used to it, and now he translated without even thinking.

 

“We think she might actually already have feelings for you,” Bankotsu replied. “Just that she's been hiding them or fighting them or both. Maybe we can help her realize it.”

 

“And we can tell you things about her that might help,” Shippo added.

 

`There is very little about Kagome of which this Sesshoumaru is unaware.'

 

Shippo frowned. “And how is that?”

 

The large inu looked unsure for a moment before answering. `This Sesshoumaru frequents her Myspace page and reads her blog. She has shared much over the years.'

 

All three males looked at him in surprise. “How long have you been attracted to her?” Miroku asked curiously.

 

`We dreamt about her for the first time the night of your freshman orientation. She has been in our mind ever since, no matter how he wished to deny the attraction.'

 

Bankotsu's eyes widened before they narrowed on the inu. “It was you, wasn't it?”

 

Shippo looked at his friend in confusion. “Was he who?”

 

“The vampire… it was you,” Bank said, his voice full of surprise. “I thought it was odd that a vampire showed up at the dance interested in her not too long after she posted about those weird dreams she was having.” Shippo asked again and Miroku and Bankotsu spent the next few minutes explaining what had happened at the Halloween dance. When they were finished three sets of eyes were trained on Sesshoumaru, waiting for his answer.

 

He mentally rolled his eyes but humored their curiosity. `Yes, this Sesshoumaru was the vampire in question.'

 

“Dude, you screwed up big time,” Bank said with a laugh.

 

`And how is that exactly?'

 

“She acted like it didn't bug her, but she couldn't hide it from me. It really bothered her when you disappeared without telling her who you were. You should have. I don't think she would have reacted badly at all.”

 

`If she had known it was this Sesshoumaru she would never have given us the time of day, let alone the pleasure to dance with her and kiss her as well.'

 

Bankotsu shook his head. “I don't think so, man. She really wanted to know who it was. Otherwise she wouldn't have been so happy to see you again.”

 

“Again?” Shippo asked. They didn't mention anything about a second time.

 

Miroku nodded. “We'll tell you about it later.”

 

Sesshoumaru looked thoughtful for a while before his attention returned to them and they continued their conversation, coming up with ideas to help him catch her attention as well as thoughts on how to get her to allow herself the feelings they were sure she had for him. If she was fighting them then she was just as bad as Sesshoumaru had been all this time. She needed to accept it and let it go. Only then could they move forward. Only then could they really start bonding.

 

Their conversation was cut short when Kagome came hopping down the stairs. She made her way into the living room and gave the group a confused look, wondering just what had caused hell to freeze over that her friends were talking amicably with Sesshoumaru. Shaking it off as just one more oddity of the day she smirked at them.

 

“This Kagome's hungry,” she said while fighting to withhold the giggles that were dying to escape.

 

Miroku smiled at her before he stood up. “And just what would this Kagome desire for dinner?” he asked while slipping his arm around her waist. When the beast growled everyone turned to look at him.

 

`She will always want to hug us, to hold our hands, to touch us in some way. She is affectionate. You will have to get used to it,' Shippo woofed to him quietly. The inu glowered but fell silent. The kitsune was right of course. She'd always hugged them and sat in their laps and so on. He couldn't very well expect her to change how she interacted with her friends because he was jealous. Giving it a little thought he decided it would be okay. He would be the only one to touch her the way a man touched a woman. He would be the only one to caress her bare skin and make her moan, the only one to bring her to the highest peak of pleasure over and over again. He could handle her hugging other males because while she may be their friends, she would be his mate.

 

Kagome looked from the beast to Shippo and back for a moment, curious as to why Sesshoumaru had growled and what Shippo said to stop him. It seemed that she couldn't understand all inu, just when it was Sesshoumaru speaking. She shrugged her shoulders before returning her attention to Miroku. “Ummm, pizza?”

 

“Pizza sounds good,” Inuyasha said from behind her, surprising them all with his presence. When no one spoke he looked down at the floor and turned, ready to go back up to his room.

 

“Inuyasha?” Kagome called softly and he stopped in his tracks. She slipped from Miroku's hold and walked to her hanyou friend, grabbing his hand and tugging him towards the front door. When they were alone she spoke. “Inuyasha, I don't get it. I don't understand why you care whether I'm friends with your brother or not. They told me that they can't explain it, so I'm guessing you can't either, but… why?”

 

He looked into the gray/blue windows into her heart and soul and felt like the biggest jerk alive. She had that caring look in her eyes, the one she'd first given him when he was lying on the floor in the school hall in pain thanks to Sesshoumaru. She would never let anyone come between them. Why had he even considered it possible that she would? “I… Kagome, I'm sorry. It's just… I guess I'm just afraid to lose you.” He looked away and felt her turn his head back to face her by his chin.

 

“You will never lose me. I never left Bank and I made three new friends since he and I met. Why would one more make any difference?”

 

“Because he hates me,” the hanyou whispered.

 

“And he's wrong to. But how he feels won't change how I feel. Nothing and no one will ever change how I feel about you and the others. So no more picking fights, okay? I don't like seeing you hurt.” When he nodded his agreement she rubbed his ears gently and his head came down to rest on her shoulder, soaking in her scent. “So, pizza then?” He smiled as she giggled before he scooped her up in his arms.

 

“Sure wench, pizza it is.”

 

 

@@@@@The Syndrome@@@@@

 

 

It was a rather interesting dinner. It was obvious there was still serious animosity between the brothers and it seemed like everyone else was miffed with Inuyasha as well. It made for quite a few uncomfortable silences as they sat around the television in the living room, large boxes covering the coffee table. Kagome had taken on the task of making sure Sesshoumaru had enough to eat, something that everyone had found rather sweet, even Inuyasha, though he was loathe to admit it.

 

It had taken the inu a while to figure out how to eat in his current form, finally deciding that it was easiest for Kagome to hold out a slice and let him take a bite. He didn't want his food touching the floor, even if he was a dog at the moment, and he refused to scarf down an entire slice in one shot. He was still a civilized creature and he wouldn't be caught dead eating like his hanyou half brother. He had table manners after all.

 

It looked rather like a mother feeding her child. Kagome would take a bite of her slice, put it down, pick up his, and hold it out for him to tear off a chunk before starting the cycle over again. The funny part? She didn't mind a bit, even though the process was slowing down her usual meal consumption time. For some reason she enjoyed helping him. It was like she was getting a chance to take care of him, something she was pretty sure he would never allow under normal circumstances, and she had a thing for taking care of people, especially those that so obviously needed it. He needed attention. He needed affection. He needed to see that someone caring for him wasn't a bad thing. It wasn't a sign of weakness. It was just what friends did for each other.

 

After everyone was finished and the leftovers were stowed away, they agreed that it would be an early night. No one had gotten enough sleep the night before, Kagome being the only one to really get any at all. They said their goodnights and retired to their respective rooms, everyone fully expecting Sesshoumaru to stay with Kagome which, of course, he did.

 

Kagome yawned and stretched before moving to close the door. She turned and lifted a brow at the inu sitting in the middle of the room when she noticed it. “What's with the hole?”

 

`It is a long story,' he answered. There was no way he was telling her he'd embedded the doorknob in the wall because he was angry over being interrupted while masturbating to her Myspace photo album. Nope, not gonna happen.

 

She just smiled at him and dug around in one of the several drawers she'd claimed in search of her jammies. After she found them and was on the verge of pulling her shirt over her head, she suddenly remembered that the dog in the room was no regular dog. When she turned around she caught his bright red eyes that were locked on her body. “Hey, no peeking,” she laughed. “Like you'd wanna look anyway,” she mumbled under her breath.

 

Deciding to humor her, even though he very much did want to look, the beast stood, turned around, and sat back down facing the opposite direction. Kagome let out a little sigh, having no idea why she was actually a little disappointed that he didn't want to see. Okay, so maybe she knew why it bothered her, but she'd been so sure those feelings were gone, or at least locked away for good. She didn't know why they were floating to the surface now. She turned her back to the inu and pulled her shirt off, tossing it to the floor before removing her bra as well.

 

Sesshoumaru turned his head to look back over his shoulder just in time to see the full expanse of her bare back. The pictures didn't do her justice. Her skin looked like silk and he so wanted to run his hands along her body tracing her curves. Hell, he'd be more than happy to be able to trail his tongue over her, to taste her skin since he was without hands at the moment.

 

She bent to grab the large shirt she'd selected off the bed and he was graced with the profile of one perfect breast. He wanted to growl in frustration when she pulled the shirt over her head, hiding her body from him again. He watched as she fiddled with the waist of her jeans, sliding them down past her hips until they dropped to the floor and she kicked them out of her way. When she began to turn around returned his eyes returned to stare to the wall to make it seem as if he had been doing so the entire time instead of admiring her body.

 

“Are you sure you want to let me use your bed? I'll understand if you don't. I can always go sleep with one of the guys.”

 

`This Sesshoumaru is certain. You are welcome in our bed.' He watched as her cheeks flushed pink again at his words. More and more he was beginning to believe that it was possible, that she did have feelings for him that she'd been hiding or fighting all this time.

 

“Alright, if you're sure. Do you have a side preference then?” When he looked at her in surprise she laughed softly. “What? You expected me to make you sleep on the floor while I slept in your bed? I sleep with the guys all the time. I'm used to it. Actually, I sleep better when I'm not alone. It's comfortable.”

 

`But this Sesshoumaru is not one of them.'

 

“They're my friends, you're my friend; I don't see a difference. Besides, you wouldn't try anything even if you could.”

 

Inside, the civilized side of Sesshoumaru wanted to kick himself in the head. It was his fault she thought he would never be interested in her. It was his fault that she believed he would only ever want a demoness. It was his fault that she didn't see a relationship with him as anything but impossible. Of course he couldn't just come right out and say it either. He couldn't tell her she was wrong, that he would most definitely try something if he could. No, that would just scare her away so instead he sighed softly and let it go… for now.

 

`This Sesshoumaru has no side preference.' He watched as she smiled at him and the pain was once again gone for a few precious moments. She turned the lamp on the nightstand on before flipping the switch to turn off the bright overhead light. He studied her every movement as she set the alarm, flipped back the blankets, and slipped into his bed for the first time. She looked beautiful and she definitely looked like she belonged there.

 

Once she made herself comfortable, sitting upright and leaning against several pillows, she looked at him again. “It's probably going to be hard for you to sleep at first,” she said thoughtfully. “Do you want me to move the pillows a certain way? Do you know if you'll want to be under or on top of the covers?”

 

He jumped up onto his bed and lay down beside her on his stomach, his chin resting on his paws so he could look at her comfortably. `This Sesshoumaru is unsure of how we will sleep in this form, but it is unlikely that we will have need of blankets.'

 

“Yeah, the fur will probably keep you nice and warm.” She yawned and he scooted forward, nosing at her shoulder. “You want something?” she asked quietly.

 

`You are tired. Go to sleep. This Sesshoumaru will be fine.'

 

“You sure? If you need something, wake me up, alright?”

 

He gave her a doggy smile before licking her cheek. `Sleep. We can manage anything we need.' His mind blanked as she ran her fingers through his fur.

 

“You're so soft,” she whispered before rearranging herself in the bed, tossing a few pillows to the floor and snuggling down under the covers. “Goodnight Sesshoumaru.”

 

`Sleep well, Kagome.'

 

 

@@@@@The Syndrome@@@@@

 

 

 

Kagome closed her eyes and when she opened them she was once again in a memory. Looking around she took in the decorations that transformed the gym into a Halloween wonderland. Everyone around her was wearing costumes and when she looked down at herself she saw that she was dressed as a Roman goddess. `Why am I dreaming about this?' she thought to herself. `I haven't thought about this dance since…' she let out a sigh. `…since this afternoon. No wonder I'm dreaming about it.'

 

She stood and waited for what she knew was coming next and she wasn't disappointed when the sexiest vampire she'd ever seen popped up beside her. She looked him over just like she had that night. He still looked and felt familiar but she just couldn't place him.

 

“Do I know you?” she asked like always.

 

“That, my goddess, is a secret. Would you honor me with a dance?” She nodded and when he took her hand she felt the same jolt of electricity that always shot through her when they touched.

 

When they reached the dance floor she allowed him to pull her close and they swayed to the music together. All the while her mind was running at high speed trying to identify him but so far she was failing, just like she had that night and every night after that when she relived these moments in her dreams.

 

He was waiting for the right moment, when she would tilt her head and he would get his first taste of her skin. This time would be different. This time he would find out what he'd always wondered, how she would react if she knew it was him. “Kagome?” he whispered and watched as she looked up at him. “Do you still wish to know who I am?”

 

In all the times she'd had this dream, never once had he said that, never once did she get closer to knowing the not so strange-stranger's identity. For a moment her voice refused to work so she nodded excitedly before she could finally say, “Yes”.

 

“Are you sure? You may not like it.” He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared. Even though this was just a dream he knew she would remember in the morning. What would she think when she found out it was him?

 

Kagome sensed his hesitancy and reached up with one hand and brushed it across cheek. When she did so, her eyes widened slightly in surprise. The white makeup that covered his face seemed to disappear when she touched it and she could just glimpse some kind of marking underneath. She looked at him for a moment, curious as to whether he would stop her, before moving her hand across his cheek, wiping away all the makeup and finally seeing the two magenta stripes that had been hidden underneath it.

 

“There's no way…” she whispered to herself in disbelief before her other hand uncovered the markings on his other cheek. When she found the same markings there she moved on to his forehead, uncovering the blue crescent moon she'd been expecting. Finally she took off the sunglasses that had always hidden his golden eyes from her. “It's not possible,” she whispered. “It's just my mind playing tricks on me.”

 

“Who was it you were hoping for?” he asked quietly, not sure how to take her reaction to his identity.

 

“I… I don't know. You were always so familiar, but this isn't right. It couldn't have been you.”

 

“And why not?” he murmured into her ear before trailing his tongue along her throat as he had that night. He smirked slightly when she moaned softly.

 

“You would never…”

 

“Kagome,” he cut her off. “You need to forget everything you ever thought about this Sesshoumaru.” He dragged his fangs along the curve of her throat and her knees went weak. His arms that were tightly wrapped around her waist were the only things keeping her upright. “Most of it is wrong.”

 

When the fog surrounding her brain cleared she looked up at him in shock. “What are you trying to say? That it really was you that night? But why? Why dance with me? Why kiss me? Did you think it was funny to mess with my heart and then disappear?”

 

It was Sesshoumaru's turn to be shocked. The anger in her voice and eyes was unexpected, at least for the reason she seemed to be upset about. He'd expected her to be angry because he tricked her into letting him hold her and kiss her, not because… He just didn't understand why she was angry. “If you had known it was this Sesshoumaru…”

 

“What? What would I have done? It seems like you think you know everything there is to know about me. You have no idea how I would have reacted because you didn't give me the chance. I don't get it. I never did anything to you! Why did you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?”

 

She tried to pull out of his arms but he refused to release her. He needed to understand. He needed her to explain it because he couldn't figure out why she was angry. She struggled against him and finally he pulled her back flush to his chest, his arm around her waist and his head on her shoulder. “Kagome, please calm down. I do not understand why you are angry.”

 

“Why? You want to know why I'm angry?” Her voice was nothing more than a hiss as she tried to keep from screaming at him. “Because you… you… you were perfect! You were everything I was looking for. I could tell just by how it felt when we touched. I fought with the guys just so I could dance with you. When you refused to tell me who you were… when you just left… I don't get it. I was good enough to dance with, good enough to kiss, but I wasn't good enough to know who you were? Did you do it just to hurt me?”

 

“Never,” he growled in her ear. “I would never intentionally hurt you. This Sesshoumaru wanted the chance to hold you in my arms just once. If you had known my identity you would never have agreed to dance with me.”

 

“I wouldn't be so sure,” she whispered, all the fight leaving her as she went limp in his arms. “I dreamt that night over and over again, every morning waking up to wonder why I wasn't good enough, why you couldn't tell me who you were.”

 

His hold on her softened since her struggles had ended and Sesshoumaru just stared over her shoulder into the distance for several minutes. It didn't make sense. He'd hurt her? She thought he didn't reveal his identity because she wasn't good enough? “Kagome, this Sesshoumaru apologizes. I never intended to hurt you. I didn't think you would even consider it if you knew who I was. Please, dance with me again?”

 

Kagome hesitated for a moment before deciding that since he was here with her in her dream she might as well enjoy it. It wasn't like it would ever happen when she was awake. She smiled softly and turned in his hold, wrapping her arms around his neck before resting her cheek on his chest. Music floated around them as they danced the night away.

 

 

@@@@@The Syndrome@@@@@

 

 

 

A shrill beeping woke Kagome with a start, causing her to sit up in bed and look around, confused for a moment as to where she was and just what had happened. Finally her still half asleep mind identified the room and she looked over at the large white inu lying beside her, apparently still asleep. She reached over and turned off the alarm clock before her gaze returned to him.

 

As the memory of her dream drifted across her mind she shook her head. `It was just a dream,' she thought to herself. `Just a dream. There's no way it was really him. Just wishful thinking. Damn it Kagome, you've gotta stop thinking about him like that. Even if the beast is sweet and friendly, Sesshoumaru isn't. He would never want you, Kagome!' Her voice in her head made her close her eyes tightly against the tears that were beginning to rise. “It was just a dream,” she whispered aloud before slipping out of the bed and walking quietly out of the room.

 

When he was sure she was gone, bright crimson eyes opened. So she'd felt something that night? She thought she wasn't good enough? Sesshoumaru's beast let out a sigh. He still had a lot of work ahead of him. If only his `civilized' side hadn't always acted like such a barbarian in her presence… well, it was too late to change the past. He just needed to make sure she knew that it was all an act. But how?