InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Syndrome ❯ A Little Confidence Goes a Long Way ( Chapter 33 )

I do not own Inuyasha and Company, no matter how happy it would make me. Rumiko Takahashi does.

 

 

Chapter 33 - A Little Confidence Goes a Long Way

 

 

Kagome had refused to speak to Sesshoumaru for the entire walk home and all the large white dog could do was try to keep up with her furious pace. He could feel the anger radiating off her in waves and couldn't help but hope and pray it wasn't directed at him as well as her friends. Yes, he knew about her eviction and their plan but it hadn't been his idea and he hadn't been actively lying to her to keep her in the dark. He didn't need her to be upset with him, not so soon after telling him he only had one last chance. He needed her too much. He couldn't lose her because of this.

 

By the time she reached the front door her jaw hurt from clenching it to keep from screaming. She hated it when they kept things from her. She hated it when they snuck around behind her back. She couldn't stand it when they did something they knew she wouldn't approve of. Yes, their intentions were most likely good and they were probably just trying to take care of her, but she was a big girl and at the very least deserved to be included in the decision of where she was going to be living from now on.

 

Bankotsu grimaced when he heard the front door slam. He didn't know why she was upset or who she was pissed at, but it was obvious that she was both. He closed the basement door softly, leaving Jak to his planning, and made his way to his best friend, hoping he could calm her down and then figure out a way to get her out of the house or up into Sesshoumaru's room. The contractor would be there soon.

 

“Bankotsu!” she growled when he turned the corner and entered her line of sight.

 

“What's wrong, Kaggie?” he asked as innocently as possible.

 

“What's wrong? You're seriously asking me what's wrong? How about the fact that I'm being evicted? How about how I have no place to live and you've been hiding it from me? How about how I had to find out from Sango?”

 

Bank sighed. He knew she would find out eventually but he'd been hoping for more time. “Kagome, calm down. Of course you have a place to live. You know we would never hide something from you maliciously. We wanted to do something special for you, that's all. We wanted to surprise you. You have enough to worry about with classes and, well, we thought it would be nice for you to… you always said how you wished you lived here with us.”

 

“You should never have kept this from me! And how am I going to live here with you guys? There isn't room!”

 

`You are always welcome to stay with this Sesshoumaru,' the beast woofed at her.

 

“That has absolutely nothing to do with this. When they found out they had no idea that I would be able to stay in your room,” Kagome replied, never taking her eyes off her friend. “Where exactly were you planning on sticking me? The basement?”

 

Inuyasha turned the corner just in time to hear her angry tone but too late to turn around and run away to safety. She'd already spotted him. Sucking it up, he tried for damage control. “Hey, babe, chill.”

 

When her glare darkened the hanyou felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. “Don't you dare tell me to chill. You lied to me. You all lied to me. Where are Miroku and Shippo so I can yell at them too?”

 

Inuyasha laughed.” Shippo's upstairs if you want him so bad. Miroku's not here.” White ears twitched on top of his head as he heard a car door close outside. “Why don't you go yell at the runt?” he suggested, hoping to get her upstairs before the contractor reached the front door.

 

Kagome growled. “You guys just don't get it, do you? It's my life! The least you could do was clue me in so I didn't have to find out from Sango that I was being evicted! I trust you guys to help me out but I think I deserve to be included in the decision of where I'm going to be living!” When neither male looked repentant she let out a frustrated sound. “I have homework to do. I'll be in Sesshoumaru's room, ya know, so you can continue sneaking around behind my back.” With that said she turned around and stomped up the stairs.

 

“You couldn't keep Sango from telling her, could you?” Inuyasha asked his elder brother in frustration. “This certainly isn't going to be easy now that she knows.”

 

Sesshoumaru frowned. It wasn't his fault the girl spilled the secret! Perhaps they should have thought of that. They could have called her friends and let them in on the plan so they knew not to mention it! Deciding that it might be a good idea to let her cool off alone, the large white dog padded into the living room and made himself comfortable on the couch, listening as Bank and Inuyasha let in the contractor. A nap sounded like a rather good idea. Maybe he would be able to sleep without the erotic and frustrating dreams waking him. Last night had been the first time in years that he'd slept through the night, but then he had been guiding her dream and dreaming along with her, so it didn't really count.

 

Once Kagome slammed the bedroom door Shippo poked his head out into the hall. He'd been lucky enough to avoid her anger and he hoped that by the time he saw her she would have calmed down. The kitsune scurried silently past the closed door and headed downstairs in case the contractor needed any help. It was safer down there anyway.

 

 

@@@@@The Syndrome@@@@@

 

 

She knew she shouldn't be angry with them, or at least not quite so angry. They obviously had something planned and she knew they were trying to do something nice for her. Of course the knowledge did little to calm her. The miko plopped down in the desk chair and grabbed the mouse, the motion bringing the computer out of sleep mode. She waited for a moment and was surprised by the image that came up on the screen. It was her.

 

Kagome lifted a brow and clicked the back button, finding another image of her smiling on the screen. What in the world was the taiyoukai doing looking at her online photo albums? When one possibility dawned on her she smirked. Her face flushed pink and a familiar tingle began between her legs. The image of a frustrated, masturbating Sesshoumaru returned to her minds eye, even more plausible than before. She couldn't help but be turned on by the thought of the sexy demon looking at her picture and pleasuring his self and the knowledge that he wanted only her acted as a powerful aphrodisiac.

 

He could probably have any girl he wanted considering how all the females in school worshipped him, but he wanted her, plain old Kagome. Again she wished that he wasn't stuck in his doggy form because she was already aching to touch him and to feel his hands on her, primarily untouched by the opposite sex, body. She'd only ever really been touched at the Halloween party and her smirk widened as she remembered that he had been the one to do the touching then.

 

The miko realized that her hands were beginning to move on their own and she shook the naughty thoughts from her mind. She wasn't going to do that there in his chair, even though the thought thrilled her knowing that he had more than likely done the same right where she sat. She had self control and she exercised it. A few quick moves and clicks of the mouse and she was looking at his internet history. Her eyes widened as she realized that this had to be how he knew so much about her. He was reading her blog! That explained it all: the butterfly clips, the vampire thing, everything. She couldn't help but be impressed. He was a resourceful admirer.

 

She finally forced the thoughts from her mind and set out to complete the research she needed to do for her class the next afternoon. It went quickly and once the printer spit out a few sheets she stood from the comfortable desk chair, deciding she could use a nap. She shot a quick glance at the closed door before peeling off her clothes and slipping naked between the soft, cool sheets. Kagome flipped over several times as she tried to get comfortable before letting out a frustrated sigh; she couldn't relax. Obviously she wasn't going to get any sleep, at least not yet.

 

Giving in to temptation, the miko closed her eyes and pictured the taiyoukai who usually slept in the bed she was currently stretched out nude in. She imagined him coming into his room and shedding his clothes before slipping naked into the bed beside her. Her hands became his as he slowly explored her body, tracing curves and teasing her carefully with deadly claws. A soft mewl of pleasure escaped her lips and hands moved over her breasts, continuing lower to where they caressed her dark patch of curls. Never before had a fantasy felt quite so real and Kagome moaned louder as his fingers found her slick heat and proceeded to circle her clit, avoiding direct contact until she arched and whimpered in frustration. Finally he moved to ease the ache that had become overwhelming and it took him only moments to bring her to the edge and beyond.

 

She laid there completely still just staring at the ceiling in shock, panting from the incredible sensations still echoing through her. She'd never experienced something so powerful. Apparently fantasizing about Sesshoumaru was better than any vibrator. When she finally caught her breath Kagome allowed her eyes to flutter closed. Sleep found her quickly and as the last threads of consciousness slipped away she wished that he was there beside her.

 

 

@@@@@The Syndrome@@@@@

 

 

Downstairs Inuyasha and Shippo were standing in the living room looking curiously down at a whimpering Sesshoumaru, his paws twitching in his sleep like he was chasing rabbits. In his dream, however, he most definitely wasn't chasing rabbits or his tail or anything else even slightly innocent. No, he had Kagome under him as he caressed the curves he'd been dreaming about for years. As his hands traveled over her body she moaned for him and the scent of her arousal wrapped around his head, dragging him down until there was nothing else but the feel of her skin beneath his fingertips and the sound of her pleasure in his ears.

 

“What do you think he's dreaming about?” Shippo asked curiously.

 

Inuyasha gave him an incredulous look. “You aren't seriously asking that, runt.”

 

Shippo furrowed his brows. “Why not?”

 

The hanyou laughed. “You're too innocent for your own good, kid.”

 

“I'm not a kid! Now tell me what you mean! What's he dreaming about?”

 

“He's dreaming about Kagome, and I don't mean just sitting and talking to her.”

 

“Oh!” Shippo said with a blush before giggling. “Think we should wake him up?”

 

“Only if you want your ass kicked, runt. Never interrupt a man's dream. Never wake up a dreaming dog unless you wanna get bit. Besides, I gotta have something on him. I can't think of anything better for blackmail than him having a wet dream about Kaggie in the middle of the living room. What? Don't look at me like that! He's a pain in my ass on his best days. The more shit I have to hold over him the better off I am.”

 

Shippo shook his head, looking disturbing like a disapproving Kagome, and Inuyasha huffed before turning around and walking away. “Whatever. I'm not cleaning up the mess. You might wanna wake him up after all,” he yelled over his shoulder to the kitsune. “Either that or grab a sponge!”

 

Shippo frowned and looked back at the large inu, nearly leaping out of his skin when he noticed the crimson eyes staring at him. “I… I… it was Inuyasha!” the kitsune called back as he left the room at high speed.

 

`Let's go check on Kagome,' Sesshoumaru said in his mind. The beast agreed and soon they were outside the closed bedroom door. `If you surrender control this Sesshoumaru could open the door,' he pointed out, hoping that the beast's desire to see their miko would push it in the right direction.

 

`Are you certain you will not damage our progress?'

 

`She understands us more and has not rejected us. There is no longer a reason for this Sesshoumaru to hide our attraction.' He could tell the beast was still hesitant so he continued. `She is confused by the separation between us. She needs to be assured that this Sesshoumaru will not act as I have in the past. She cannot simply be told. She needs to see.' He smirked as his beast agreed and the taiyoukai clenched his jaw tightly as his body screamed in agony during its transformation.

 

Finally it was over and he took a few deep breaths and tried to forget the pain. It felt great to be back in his humanoid form again and he would enjoy it while he could; there was no telling when his beast would take back control since it hadn't surrendered it completely, obviously not trusting him entirely. When he was fully composed Sesshoumaru turned the knob, opened the door a crack, and peeked inside. Seeing that she was asleep he entered the room and closed the door behind him, clicking the lock into place.

 

He smirked as he saw the pile of clothing on the floor next to the bed, only then noticing that he was just as naked she seemed to be. The scent of her arousal danced around him and his smirk widened, knowing by the intensity of the delicious aroma that she'd been more than just a little turned on. The thought of Kagome masturbating in his bed was absolutely enthralling and the scent of his arousal joined hers instantly.

 

He lifted the covers and took in the sight of her, having to fight the urge to jump her then and there. Instead he slipped into the bed beside her, not sure what to do now that he was there. She mumbled in her sleep and rolled closer. When her bare skin touched his she moaned and pressed against him more. He allowed his arms to wrap around her, freezing in place when he saw her eyelids flutter.

 

“Mmm, Sesshoumaru?” she murmured.

 

“This Sesshoumaru is here,” he whispered back.

 

Her eyes focused on his face and she smiled. “I was wondering if I would ever see you like this again.”

 

“Were you?” he asked curiously.

 

“Yeah. As cute as you are all furry, you're really sexy like this. That and I refuse to kiss a dog.” With that said she leaned in and pressed her lips to his, fireworks exploding in both their minds at the amazing contact. Her petal soft lips moved against his seductively and he leaned into her touch.

 

Growing bolder with each passing second the taiyoukai traced the soft, plump, delicious bit of flesh with his tongue and her lips parted for him, her own tongue coming out to meet his. He'd only ever kissed her like this, years ago, and even then it wasn't long before they were interrupted. What he lacked in experience he made up for with instinct, allowing them to guide him, following where they led. Their tongues touched teasingly before she allowed him to explore her mouth, reveling in the taste of her. It was just like he remembered but better because this time she knew it was him and still allowed it. Hell, she even initiated!

 

When she pulled away to breathe his lips worshipped the curve of her throat and shoulder, his hands moving slowly over her heated skin, just waiting for her to stop him. He didn't want to go too far, but he also didn't want to go not far enough. He didn't know what she wanted, what she was expecting, but he didn't want her to be disappointed and he didn't want this moment to end. Her hands touched his muscled chest, fingertips tracing the dips of definition. It was better than he'd ever dreamed or imagined, her soft hands exploring his naked body. It was taking every ounce of his control and restraint to not cum right there and then. The crushing frustration of more than four years of torment by erotic dreams and longing made it almost more than he could stand.

 

Kagome moaned softly as he kissed his way down her throat. Sure, it was just a dream, but it was a good one. She'd thought that the dream the previous afternoon was realistic but this was ten times beyond it already. She could feel his hardness pressing against her and she ground her hips against him seductively. “Sesshoumaru? Why can't it be like this when I'm awake?” she mumbled.

 

The taiyoukai's eyes widened. She thought this was just another dream? He didn't know what to do. Did he tell her it wasn't a dream? Did he encourage her to fall back asleep and then disappear and hope she still thought it was a dream when she woke? His answer became clear when she yawned. He would let her think it was a just something her subconscious created. It was safer than risking a negative reaction when she found out it wasn't a dream at all. He slowed his attentions and smiled as she snuggled against him sleepily. He cradled her lovingly and listened as her breathing slowed. He'd intended to leave once she was out but the peacefulness and comfort of their embrace and the way her scent soothed him were too much to fight against and soon he joined her in sleep.

 

 

@@@@@The Syndrome@@@@@

 

 

Jak was finally done talking to the contractor and wanted to see Kagome before he left. He'd heard that she was angry about the whole thing and he thought that maybe he could calm her down a little. He understood their desire to surprise her with something like this and she needed to realize that it wasn't malevolent in nature. They loved her and wanted to do something special for her. Besides, he didn't get to see nearly enough of her the last time he'd been over and he missed her.

 

A lot had changed for her since they'd really talked and he was curious to find out how she felt about the whole Sesshoumaru thing. She'd never had much experience with the opposite sex, her platonic loving guard dogs the only exception. She probably really needed someone to confide in. As much as she loved each of them, there were some things you just couldn't tell a guy friend. He couldn't stop his smirk at that thought. He'd never qualified as a `guy friend'. She'd always been able to talk to him about girl stuff and hopefully she always would. She didn't have many girlfriends after all, and the ones she had were more the casual kind.

 

Bankotsu had told him that she went upstairs to do some homework so he headed up to knock on the taiyoukai's door. He frowned and knocked again louder before hearing a faint `Come in' from inside. When he tried to enter though he found he couldn't. “Kaggie, it's locked.”

 

On the other side of the door Kagome sat up slowly, confused and half asleep. She was sure she hadn't locked the door. Her hand met fur and she turned slowly to find that Sesshoumaru, doggy Sesshoumaru, was sleeping beside her, under the covers. She remembered her dream and frowned. “That's just weird,” she whispered to herself before standing up and calling to Jak that she'd be there in a second. She pulled on her discarded clothes, every now and then glancing at the beast, wondering how in the hell he got in and how the door ended up locked.

 

Finally the door opened and Jak soon found Kagome's arms and legs wrapped around him in a crushing hug. She pressed a kiss to each cheek and slid to the floor with a huge grin on her face. “I missed you! God, Jak, you would not believe the shit that's gone on around here the last few days! It's crazy! Wait. What are you doing here anyway?”

 

“You mean a girl can't visit her girlfriend?” he joked. “I'm helping the guys out with something.”

 

Kagome pulled back and glared at him. “Something? Like the something they've been planning while purposely not telling me I'm being evicted?”

 

“Kaggie, you have to give it a rest. You know they mean well and I do too. It's nice to be surprised sometimes and you need to get over the whole money thing. You've got five guys willing to spoil you rotten, including me, and you should enjoy it.”

 

Kagome smirked. “If we're including you in that count then it should be six. I finally found out who gave me the bracelet and the butterfly clips.”

 

His eyes widened. “You mean that was Sesshoumaru?” Kagome nodded. “You are the luckiest girl I've ever met sweetheart.”

 

“I'm living with five guys. How lucky can I be?” she asked with a laugh. “Come on. Come inside. Sesshoumaru's in here, but he's sleeping. I have no idea how the hell he got in or when but he's there!” Kagome led Jak inside, letting him sit in the chair while she sat facing him at the end of the bed.

 

“So, tell me all about the whole…” Jak tilted his head towards the large pile of white fur currently cradled in the blankets.

 

“It's damn complicated. Their father explained it as `the syndrome'. His beast chose their mate but he tried to deny it or something, wouldn't admit it or act on it, something like that. Apparently he's been attracted to me for a long time but was hiding it or fighting it. I guess he thought I would never want him. Of course he didn't know… hell, only you knew.”

 

Neither friend noticed as crimson eyes opened and then closed again. Sesshoumaru had no idea how the beast had regained control so easily or how they'd transformed without him even waking up, but what he did know is that they needed to be still and quiet if they wanted to hear. Kagome was talking about him after all, and both the beast and the civilized side wanted to know just what she had to say. Sure, eavesdropping might not be the best idea, but she thought he was still asleep and they were going let her continue to think it.

 

“I think its wonderful darling! You deserve a prince, and while he's not necessarily Prince Charming, he's definitely delicious enough to look at.” Kagome laughed, not noticing the shudder that ran through the dog behind her.

 

“It's just ridiculous though. He's liked me… no, loved me, for probably as long as I've… had feelings for him.”

 

“Feelings, honey? Don't fool yourself. If you've wanted him as bad as you have for all this time, even when he was an absolute douche bag, then you love him too.”

 

Inside Sesshoumaru didn't know if he wanted to frown or smile. Kagome had wanted him for a long time, apparently badly, but he didn't much appreciate the douche bag comment.

 

Kagome blushed. “I know that but… Jak, I'm scared. He's so… sweet like this, but how do I know he's not going to change on me? What if he goes back to being Mr. Icicle shoved up his ass? If I admit how I feel… well, I just don't think I can.”

 

He wished he could tell her he would never act that way towards her again and he would, just as soon as he was done pretending to be sleeping. His beautiful Kagome was afraid he would hurt her and it just about killed him. He'd hurt her already, just by trying to hide his feelings, and he would never, ever do it again!

 

“God, I had the hottest dream a little while ago. I remember he was an awesome kisser as my vampire mystery man, but fuck, Jak, in my dreams he's even better. I swear I could actually feel his hands on me. I need to figure out the details of the syndrome though. He said he'd answer my questions. I need to know how long I have to decide and what happens if I decide… not to.”

 

Again crimson eyes opened before being forced shut. He didn't want to think about what would happen if she wouldn't have him. It would kill him, figuratively and very, very literally.

 

“Do you really think it's possible for you to choose not to be his mate? It seems like it's… like it's fate, Kaggie. You told me what you felt the first time your eyes met. That means something. I've always thought so. For him to have such strong feelings about you that his beast takes over… that has to mean something big. Your beast doesn't play around, babe. You know that.”

 

“I do, do I?” Kagome asked with a grin. “You do realize I don't have one, right?”

 

Jak shook his head. “I forget sometimes. You play so well with demons, sneaky little miko.”

 

Sesshoumaru was confused. What the hell was the fruitcake talking about? How did he know anything about demons?

 

“Well then you'll just have to trust me. Even as a half demon my beast is serious. When it wants something I damn well better get it. If his beast wants you honey, then no one else in the world will ever do. He loves you like you're the only other living creature on the planet. Nothing will come between you. He'll never even as much as look at another girl. You couldn't get luckier. There is no greater devotion than a mate chosen by his beast.”

 

He didn't have a clue how her friend was a half-demon and he didn't sense it, but it not only explained the necklace she'd given Bankotsu but it seemed to have come in handy. He couldn't have explained it any better if he tried. There was no one else for him and finally Sesshoumaru felt ready to admit it to her.

 

“You really think it'll turn out alright?”

 

“Of course I do. It might take a while for him to get used to not acting cold and distant, but now you know that it's always been an act, at least with you. For him to think you would never want him, and for clarification let's remember that we're talking about Sesshoumaru, the hottest guy in school, the guy every girl wants, probably the hottest motherfucker on the planet… to think you would never want him means that he's really down on himself. I mean, sure, he acts arrogant and self confident, but how in the hell does the dream guy of every girl he's ever met and probably even ones he hasn't even begin to think that the one girl he wants will never want him back? I think there's more going on there than anyone sees.”

 

“I've always thought so too, that there's so much more to him, but I'm afraid he won't open up, that he won't tell me why he's hiding behind a wall of ice that's six feet thick.”

 

“He will, Kaggie. A mate is someone you confide in, share everything with, especially in canines. We don't have it as much, but canines have pack instinct. The second you made Inuyasha your friend you became his pack and you gave him the others as pack as well. You gave him a family when all he ever had were his parents. You gave him his own pack and you hold it together. His beast will love you and protect you forever. I don't think you've ever known how much you really changed his entire world, Shippo just as much, if not more since he's a full demon and Inu's a hanyou. I have no idea how Sesshoumaru has survived so long alone with no physical contact or any emotional connections. A weaker demon would have curled up in a ball and died by now.”

 

Kagome looked at her friend in wonder. “Really? God, I knew he had to be lonely, but…” Tears welled up in her eyes. “I remember how insecure Inuyasha was. He was always afraid I would change my mind and leave him. He's never believed he deserves my love and friendship. Sesshoumaru… he's been alone so long, all the while watching me with them from the shadows, being forced to see what he was missing and thinking he could never have it.” Kagome sniffled and salty trails slowly ran down her cheeks.

 

“Yeah, he's gonna need a hug, a really, really big hug.”

 

Kagome giggled and wiped away her tears. “I can do that. That explains why he wants me to pet him all the time.”

 

Jak snorted and Kagome looked at him in question. “Sorry honey, but you should know that telling me you've been petting Sesshoumaru…” He wiggled his eyebrows in an imitation of Miroku and Kagome lightly smacked his arm.

 

“I sometimes forgot how big a pervert you are is all. Thanks though Jak, really. I never looked at it like that. I guess I'm just going to have to see how he really acts when he's back to normal. That and see if he answers me honestly when I ask him questions. You know how I am. I can't promise to be with someone forever if they're not going to be open with me. I need him to be my friend first, and mates… that's a huge step that normally would be taken after a long relationship, but he doesn't have the luxury of time which means neither do I. Eventually the syndrome is gonna kill him and I can't just let that happen, not if I can save him… but that's a commitment I'm not sure I'm ready to make. Hell, even if we'd been dating all this time I still might not be ready.”

 

“Kagome, you are more than ready to open your arms and heart to him. You have always been ready to love him with everything you have. You were born to be that taiyoukai's mate. You just have to realize it. Fate brought you into his life and his own stubbornness kept you at arms length. It was him that kept that wall of ice between you rather than risk a little heartache by giving you the opportunity to accept him or turn him down. He should have known you would never send him away. You are the most loving person I have ever met, Kaggie.”

 

Sesshoumaru made a mental note to thank Jakotsu when he finally got back to himself and stayed that way. Already Kagome looked so much more confident, so much less confused. Even though he'd always been rather creeped out by the guy he really owed him a lot. Jak had given her a huge push in the right direction, towards him of course, and had pretty much told her she was his soul mate, the one thing he couldn't tell her yet. He was ready to tell her everything else though, anything she wanted to know. He had no idea how it would even feel to confide in someone but it had to feel better than holding it all inside.

 

His beast was also touched by all he'd heard. Kagome needed reassurance that Sesshoumaru would treat her well, would be open with her, and that he really wanted her as much as Jak had told her he did. She needed to experience it, to spend time with the demon that would be her mate instead of with the beast that lurked inside him. Maybe Sesshoumaru was ready; maybe he could handle it on his own, at least for a little while. He deserved a chance, just like she was willing to give them a chance. They both watched as Kagome followed Jakotsu out of the room. Once they were alone the two sides of the taiyoukai had some things to discuss.