InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Truth About Cats and Dogs ❯ Kagome's Choice ( Chapter 30 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Recap: After a long and hard fight with Naraku, Kikyo eventually banished him to hell using the Shikon Jewel. Miroku's wind tunnel vanished and Kagura was free at last.
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Chapter 30 - Kagome's Choice
“So you were always human?” Kohaku asked.
“I'm not human, Kohaku,” Kirara gently explained. “I just have the ability to take a human form.”
“Wow,” Kohaku said quietly. “So what was it like being a cat all the time?”
“Boring,” Kirara replied, grinning down at him. “Very, very boring!”
“And now she's just weird!” Koru chirped.
“Kohaku, have you met Koru?” Kirara asked sweetly. “He's a worm demon.”
“I'm not a worm, I'm a dragon!” Koru snapped. “I come from an honourable clan of dragon demons!”
“Kohaku?” Shippo asked.
“Oh, hi,” Kohaku said shyly.
“We're going to play a game over in the fields, do you want to come with us?”
Kohaku glanced back and forth between Shippo and Soten before turning to Kirara.
“On you go,” she encouraged. “Enjoy yourself. You've spent too long being sad. Go and have fun and behave like a child, while you still can!”
Kohaku smiled, nodding his head, before running off with Shippo and Soten.
“They didn't invite me…” Koru grumbled.
“Maybe because you're so damn annoying?” Kirara suggested.
“They didn't invite you, either!” Koru added.
“I'm not a kid.”
Kirara smiled, lying onto her back, resting her head on her upturned palms.
“Crazy cat,” Koru muttered.
“Wimpy worm,” Kirara replied, closing her eyes to enjoy the warmth of the sun.
“And you say that you're not a kid…”
Kirara grinned, deciding that she was too tired to bother reprimanding the miniature dragon for his insolence. The journey back from Naraku's castle had taken the best part of a day, and by the time everyone had bathed, had their wounds tended to and eaten, it had been very late at night. Although everyone had gone to bed, most had barely slept at all.
“Well, that's everything,” Kagome announced with a sigh.
“Kagome,” Sango said, approaching her. “You're leaving already?”
Kirara sat up, frowning questioningly at Kagome.
“Inuyasha is still sulking, everyone's wounds have been dressed, so there's not really much point in me hanging around here,” Kagome replied. “I just hope I can still get through the well now that the sacred jewel has been destroyed.”
“What if you can get home, but you can't ever come back?” Miroku asked.
“I hadn't thought of that,” Kagome confessed. “But although I would miss you all, I don't really see any reason why I would need to come back.”
“What about Inuyasha?” Sango asked. “You and him were so close-”
“Were so close,” Kagome interrupted her. “But it looks like his heart still belongs to Kikyo.”
“Kagome, Inuyasha is just sad because Kikyo sent herself to hell with Naraku,” Miroku explained. “It's understandable, Kikyo was the first person to ever show Inuyasha any compassion. Of course he still cares about her. But Inuyasha loves you, Kagome.”
“Well he's sure got a funny way of showing it,” Kagome shortly replied. “He's been sitting up in that tree ever since we got back, and he hasn't said a word to anyone. Tell him I said goodbye.”
“Kagome, wait!” Sango tried.
But Sango and Miroku's attempts to stop Kagome were in vain, as she marched out of the village with purpose, heading towards the old well. Kagome kept going until she neared the well, where she gradually drew to a halt, standing a few feet short of the doorway between the ages.
`What if Miroku was right?' she thought, chewing at her bottom lip nervously. `What if I go home, but can't ever come back to the feudal era? I won't ever see Inuyasha again.'
Kagome started to walk again, but stopped again just before she reached the well.
`I can't stay here forever, my family will be worried about me,' she thought. `And I miss them too. But if I can't come back… If Inuyasha doesn't love me, I don't need to come back. The jewel is complete and gone. I'm not needed here any more. Back home, I have school to go to, a life to get on with. Here all I've got is…'
“Inuyasha,” she whispered aloud, peering over the edge of the well.
Kagome sighed thoughtfully, but soon made up her mind about what to do next.
“After all that we've been through, you still chose Kikyo over me,” she said into the well. “When you broke Naraku's barrier, you ran to Kikyo. You didn't even see me. If I can't come back, it won't matter to you.”
Kagome took a deep breath, and jumped into the well.
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Inuyasha stared out across the land, his eyes casually following the branches of the trees around him as they swayed rhythmically in the wind. Watching the branches and leaves drift back and forth, Inuyasha found himself feeling very tired; but still he would not give in to sleep. He had not slept for two nights in a row: the night of the new moon during their battle against Naraku, or the following night, when they had returned after Naraku's defeat.
Inuyasha had just one thought on his mind: for a second time, Kikyo had died unfairly at Naraku's hands, and for a second time, he was left feeling responsible.
At first, his friends had tried to coax him down from the tree with offers of food, the offer of a blanket for the night and eventually with insults regarding how dirty and smelly he was becoming; but Inuyasha had ignored them all. To Inuyasha, the only one point of interest in their efforts had been the fact that everyone had spoken to him - Sango, Miroku, Kirara, Shippo, Kaede, Soten and even Koru - but Kagome had not come anywhere near him.
`She must still be mad at me,' he thought to himself. `She sure can hold a grudge.'
Inuyasha reassured himself that he had done nothing to upset Kagome. The problem was simply that Kagome was too damn stupid to realise how he felt after what he had just been through. She had no reason to be angry or upset. He had overcome his demon blood and the power of three jewel shards to save Kohaku, and he had fought hard against Naraku. Kagome ought to be pleased.
`Where the hell is she?' Inuyasha wondered, peering down over either side of the branch he was perched on. `She owes me an apology for getting all moody with me anyway!'
Inuyasha sat back hard, his back thumping against the trunk of the tree. He had enough to think about without worrying about why Kagome was sulking with him. He wondered if Kikyo had actually gone to hell with Naraku, and if she would be made to stay there forever, or if there was a way she could somehow escape. She deserved better after such a selfless life than to spend all eternity in such a horrid place with evil like Naraku for company.
Inuyasha sighed, his nose crinkling as he breathed in again. As much as he was loathed to admit to it, the others were certainly right about one thing: he did stink.
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“Hey Kagome!”
Kagome stopped, looking back over her shoulder.
“Oh hi Eri, Yuka, Ayumi,” Kagome said, forcing a smile as her friends ran towards her.
“Did you get over your agoraphobia already, Kagome?” Eri asked, frowning at her in concern.
`Must… Kill… Grandpa…' Kagome thought darkly.
“Oh yeah!” she said brightly. “I saw this great hypno-therapist!”
“Really?” Yuka asked.
“So come on Kagome,” Ayumi said slyly as all four girls began to walk on together. “We haven't seen you for a while, what's the latest on Mister Attitude?”
“He's a total jerk, and I don't want to talk about him!” Kagome growled, walking faster as images of Inuyasha crying for Kikyo after their battle against Naraku flitted through her mind.
“She's says that all the time…” Yuka said.
“She's obviously still crazy about him…” Ayumi sighed.
“He sounds like such a passionate guy, I'd love to meet him someday!” Eri said dreamily.
`No chance of that!' Kagome thought to herself. `My friends can't pass through the well to visit him in the feudal era, and there's no way they would understand if they saw Inuyasha with his dog-ears and totally out-of-date clothes in this era.'
Kagome slowly looked up at the sky overhead.
`Then again,' she thought to herself. `I might not be able to pass through the well now. I might never see Inuyasha ever again. I wonder if he even knows that I've gone yet? Or if he even cares?'
Kagome sighed, hanging her head. Behind her, she heard her friends continue to speculate on whether or not “Mister Attitude” was actually “Mister Right”, “Mister Wrong” or just “Mister Misunderstood”. Their gossiping continued until the girls reached the school gates, where they sighted Hojo, instantly silencing them all.
Hojo came over to greet them as he always did, and asked Kagome about her latest disorder, as he always did. But his words washed right over Kagome's head.
`He doesn't know a single thing about me,' she thought to herself as he gave her a speech on the importance of Vitamin D. `None of them do. I've changed so much since I was first dragged down the well. I don't even feel like I belong here any more - but this is my real life!'
Kagome sighed again.
`What am I going to do now?'
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Inuyasha's ears twitched, and his golden eyes narrowed as a familiar scent reached his nose.
“What do you want?” he barked moodily, without bothering to look down at the person he knew was nearby.
“I just wanted to tell ye that ye are not the only one suffering,” Kaede called up to him.
“You're gonna tell me I have to go talk to Kagome, aren't you?” he grumbled.
“That would be a sensible idea,” Kaede began. “But maybe not a realistic one.”
“Not realistic?”
Inuyasha sat forwards, craning his neck to look down over his left thigh at the top of Kaede's head far below him.
“What d'you mean, “not realistic”?” he asked.
“Kagome has gone back to her own time, Inuyasha,” Kaede replied.
“Oh yeah?” Inuyasha scoffed. “What's the matter, has she got another stupid “test” to do?”
“I don't know about that,” Kaede replied. “But I do wonder about her ability to return here, now that the sacred jewel has been destroyed.”
“What?!”
Inuyasha dropped to the ground, standing directly in front of Kaede.
“What are you saying?” he asked. “Are you trying to tell me that Kagome has gone home for good this time?”
“It's possible,” Kaede replied.
“No way!” Inuyasha retorted, folding his arms.
“There are two reasons I believe we may not see Kagome ever again,” Kaede said calmly. “First of all, I don't know if she will be able to pass through the well again. And secondly, I don't know if she would want to. She has no reason to come here any more. She completed the Shikon Jewel, and now that it no longer exists, she doesn't even have the obligation of watching over it to bring her back here.”
“What are you trying to say, old woman?”
“I only came here to remove that burden from ye.”
“What burden?”
Kaede reached up both hands and lifted the beads from around Inuyasha's neck up over his head.
“What are you doing?” Inuyasha asked, watching her with wide eyes as she stuffed the beads that had plagued his life for last year into her haori.
“Without Kagome here, there is no need for those any more,” she explained, before turning her back on him and walking back towards the village.
“Hey, where are you going?” Inuyasha demanded.
But Kaede did not answer him, instead walking on slowly and in silence.
“I'm not the one with a problem here!” he yelled after her. “She should be apologising to me!”
Inuyasha's anger slowly faded as Kaede disappeared from his sight.
“Damn…” he muttered under his breath. “What if Kagome can't ever come back?”
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“Kagome Higurashi!”
“Huh?”
Kagome blinked the vestiges of sleep from her eyes, turning her head to find a shadow standing over her.
“Falling asleep in class?” her teacher barked down at her.
Kagome groaned quietly. She could not even remember closing her eyes; but then again, she reminded herself, she had not slept the last two nights, and she had left the feudal era only to go straight into school.
“I suppose you have narcolepsy now?” her teacher drawled sarcastically, bringing a chorus of laughter from the others around her.
“I'm sorry,” Kagome whispered, her face reddening in shame.
“It's no wonder you failed your last two tests, Kagome,” he teacher continued. “I was going to wait until after class to tell you this, but since you don't seem to care about school anyway, I might as well tell you now, in front of all your peers. You're going to have to repeat a year, Kagome.”
Kagome froze, her insides twisting into a knot.
“Repeat a year?” she echoed faintly. “But I…”
“I think you should go home now, Kagome,” her teacher said with a sigh. “Get some sleep and come and see me before class tomorrow morning. I think we should arrange extra classes for you. Even though you're repeating a year, if your attendance doesn't improve, you will fail again.”
Kagome slowly nodded her head, gathering up her books and her bag.
“Kagome…” Eri whispered as she walked past her.
Kagome ignored everyone around her, leaving the classroom and quietly closing the door behind herself. As she walked down the corridor, she kept hold of her bag at her side, not even bothering to pull it over her shoulder.
`I can't repeat a year,' she thought to herself as she walked. `Although I don't suppose I have any choice. I'll never get anywhere with that on my record, though. And regardless of what I do, I'm going to have to stay home a lot more and study harder. Maybe I should just stay here and forget all about the feudal era and Inuyasha. I don't even know if the well will work again. Maybe now that I'm back in my own time, it's done its job.'
Kagome stepped outside, lifting her chin towards the sky as the wind gently brushed against her skin.
“Oh Inuyasha…” she whispered. “I wonder what you're doing right now?”
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“Aren't you going to go after Kagome, Inuyasha?”
Inuyasha lifted his head, narrowing his eyes at Shippo, who had appeared at his side, perched on the lip of the old well.
“What's it to you, you little pest?” Inuyasha growled at him.
“We miss Kagome,” Soten said with a sigh, appearing at Inuyasha's other side, resting her elbows on the wall of the well opposite Shippo and looking down into its murky depths.
“You mean you miss all the crap she takes back for you from her strange era,” Inuyasha grumbled.
“Maybe she found a nice new boyfriend in her own time,” Koru suggested, hovering over the centre of the well.
“What?” Inuyasha echoed, looking up at the dragon imp.
“One that isn't a two-timer like you, Inuyasha,” Koru added as their eyes met.
“What would you know, you little worm?” Inuyasha roared, waving a fist at Koru.
“I know that only a stupid person wouldn't go after Kagome,” Koru suggested, before scooting out of Inuyasha's reach.
“And Inuyasha is pretty stupid…” Soten muttered.
“Absolutely,” Shippo quietly agreed.
“Get out of here, all of you!” Inuyasha yelled, standing abruptly.
Inuyasha watched the three young demons until they were out of sight. He then took one final glance around to ensure that he was indeed alone and not being watched, before leaping into the well.
“She better apologise to me, damn it!” he grumbled as he was swallowed by the soft blue light that signified his passing through time.
A few seconds later, the light faded again, and Inuyasha's senses told him he was no longer in his own era, the unusual scents of Kagome's time floating down to him. He was silently glad that he had successfully managed to travel back: hopefully this meant that Kagome could return with him.
But, Inuyasha thought to himself, even if neither of them could go back to his time, it would not matter. At least now they were together.
Inuyasha leapt out of the well, starting towards Kagome's house only to stop as something caught his eye. Turning his head slowly, Inuyasha noticed for the first time what stood before him. He slowly approached it, torn between wondering why he had never noticed it before and the stinging sensation he felt as he looked upon it.
The old tree Kikyo had pinned him to so long ago still stood in Kagome's era, still bearing the scar of broken bark where Kikyo's arrow had burst into its trunk. Subconsciously touching a hand to the point on his shoulder where the arrow had penetrated his flesh, Inuyasha found himself falling into a trance as he stared at the scar on the old tree.
“Inuyasha?”
Inuyasha stiffened, mentally cursing himself for letting his guard down because of the tree and failing to notice the approach of another.
“You made it through the well?”
Inuyasha turned his head slightly as Kagome walked up to his side. She quickly turned her head towards the tree as he looked at her, avoiding his eyes.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I made it through the well.”
“I don't have any jewel shards any more, I wonder why you bothered coming here,” Kagome said, her voice quiet and almost emotionless, bar the slight tang of bitterness.
“I know you don't have any jewel shards, stupid,” Inuyasha grumbled. “Kikyo completed the Shikon Jewel and then gave her life for me. Again.”
“Of course,” Kagome sighed. “Kikyo is still the first thought in your mind.”
“That's not true, damn it,” Inuyasha growled. “You just don't understand.”
“Maybe not. But you've never explained it to me. You never tell me how you feel, or what you're thinking.”
“I don't have time for stuff like that!”
“Well stuff like that happens to be very important to me, okay?”
Inuyasha started, his eyes widening as he looked down at Kagome. She had her head lowered, and he could not see her face for her hair; but he could smell the saltiness of tears forming in her eyes.
“You wanna know how I feel and what I think?” he asked gruffly.
“Yes, I do,” Kagome replied, without lifting her head.
“Fine,” Inuyasha said tightly. “I feel that Kikyo had a pure soul, and that she lived an honest and selfless life, and yet still she died at the hands of evil like Naraku. Twice. She was the first person - apart from my mother, obviously - to look beyond what I am to see who I am. I did love her.”
Inuyasha glanced down at Kagome and saw her clench her hands into fists as her sides, her shoulders trembling slightly as the smell of her tears grew stronger.
“But even though she loved my soul, she didn't love me,” Inuyasha continued, looking back at the tree again. “She wanted me to become human. It was the only way she would let me be with her. I never felt happy being what I was anyway, it made no difference to me whether I became all demon or all human at that point. It wasn't until I met you, Kagome, that I started to really understand and accept what I am. I've learned that I can be as strong as the demon I wanted to be and have the companionship I thought only a human could have.”
Kagome lifted her head slightly, peeking up at Inuyasha through a curtain of black hair.
“I don't always understand what I feel for you Kagome, but I do know what it is,” he added quietly.
“Inuyasha…” she whispered.
Inuyasha turned his head sharply towards her as he felt the tips of her fingers touch his elbow.
“I love you, Inuyasha,” she said shakily, meeting his eyes nervously, but holding his gaze determinedly. “I always have. And I always will.”
“Yeah?” he mumbled, his eyebrows inching upwards. “Well um… I… Uh…”
“I don't know what to do now, Inuyasha,” Kagome confessed. “But since the well still works, I think I'd like to stay in the feudal era with you and Sango and Miroku and the others. I could still visit home when I got lonely, and I could still bring back potato chips for you, and candies for Shippo… But I won't go back if you don't want me there.”
“Of course I… I want…”
“I need to know exactly where I stand with you, Inuyasha. Is there a place in your heart for me?”
“A place in my heart?”
Inuyasha felt his heart twinge, and then tug downwards as he saw a tear escape one of Kagome's eyes, slipping over the curve of her cheek. Before he could even think of what he was doing, he reached out a hand towards her, wiping away the tear with his thumb. Inuyasha paused, inhaling sharply through his nostrils, his thumb still touching Kagome's cheek, his hand still hovering by her face. He felt his cheeks grow a little warm, but did his best to ignore it, gulping audibly as his throat become uncomfortably tight.
“A p-place in my heart?” he repeated slowly.
Kagome nodded, reaching up a hand to touch his hand that lingered by her face.
“Kagome, I…” he began slowly.
Inuyasha dropped his eyes to the ground as he fought to find the words he sought to explain himself. Kagome curled her fingers around his hand, her grip drawing his attention back to her face. He gasped softly as he saw a tear escape from each of her eyes.
“Kagome, it's not like there is a place for you in my heart,” he said decisively, wincing as he saw Kagome's face distort with hurt, fresh tears spilling over her cheeks. “Because my heart - all of my heart - it belongs to you. You've shown me a… A… A love that I never thought possible. You love me just the way I am. You don't care if I'm not all demon or all human. Because you love me. And Kagome, since you obviously don't already know, I love you too.”
Kagome let out a shuddered gasp, before sobbing softly.
“I thought you'd be happy…” Inuyasha grumbled.
“I am!” Kagome wailed, throwing her arms around her neck.
“You don't look it!” Inuyasha drawled, touching his hands to her back and holding her gently against his self.
“That was just so… So…” Kagome whimpered into his shoulder.
“Did I create a good atmosphere?” Inuyasha asked, quirking an eyebrow sarcastically.
Kagome pulled back from him, holding him as arm's length.
“Yes!” she gushed, causing Inuyasha's face to twist in shock. “You created a perfect atmosphere! And you haven't even ruined it yet!”
“Hey!” Inuyasha grunted. “What do you mean, I haven't ruined it “yet”?”
“Well…” Kagome began, avoiding his eyes.
“Hey, you're the one ruining things here!”
“I was just so-”
“Hey, before you completely ruin my atmosphere, can you let me finish?”
“Finish?”
Kagome looked up at Inuyasha, searching his eyes in confusion. She made a small noise of surprise in the back of her throat as Inuyasha leaned towards her, rapidly closing the gap between them and pressing his lips against hers. Her eyes widened at the contact, but after just a few seconds, she slowly allowed her eyelids to flutter shut, tilting her chin upwards and pressing her lips to his, sealing their kiss.
Inuyasha slowly slid his hands around Kagome's waist to her back, gently pulling her body closer to his. Kagome rested one hand on his shoulder, moving the other around the back of his neck, curling her fingers into his hair. For the first time since the day of her fifteenth birthday when she had first fallen into the well, Kagome finally knew why she had been allowed to travel between the ages.
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Next Chapter: As the gang set about their new, peaceful lives, Kirara does some soul-searching and, after seeing yet another part of Midoriko's message come true, she realises what her future is and what she must do next. Chapter 31 - Kirara's Revelation.