InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Unicorn and the Spider: Kik/Nar drabbles ❯ Unwanted ( Chapter 24 )

AN: Written for the “Secrets” challenge at 30shards on Livejournal.

 

Unwanted

 

Murderers, Thieves, and Monsters aren't allowed to love. He doesn't know who's decreed this, but he's had plenty of people tell him - so much that he's come to believe it and live his life around it. He's never needed such things as love anyway.

 

He's burned a stain in the countryside trying to outrun his heart. He thinks it's completely useless. It only brings him pain. He strips himself of it, and he craves the Jewel in hope that its power will scrub away these lingering futile shadows forever.

 

Even removing his heart does not work. All that's left is his desire to complete the Jewel.

 

His mind knows something his heart will not accept. Kikyou will never love him; he's known this since he was still human and she cared for his wounds. Her kindness had always tempted his heart, and it's the reason he was pushed into this madness of lust for her. He's sold his soul for her, but she doesn't know his real reason. It's his secret burden to bear.

 

Maybe she does know, but in all his tyranny, she's never suspected that his feelings for her weren't always twisted and impure.

 

He's had idle thoughts before, even in this hanyou form, of a different life where she's accepted him and they grow to be happy, to love one another, and to circumvent the darkness and demons that has spoiled him to the core.

 

It's too late to go back now and unravel this bloody tapestry he's already woven. He's betrayed and harmed her enough that she hates him beyond death. She uses his feelings against him without a flicker of remorse.

 

This Kikyou is different. This is not the one he remembers, but he loves her just as well.

 

For this reason she needs to die. And when she's truly dead by his hands, everything he's ever felt about her will fade away. The only thing left will be a hole, soon encompassed by his ever-invading darkness.

 

This is the only way Naraku knows how it can be.