InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Youkai and the Exterminator ❯ Chapter ThirtyTwo ( Chapter 32 )

Chapter ThirtyTwo

 

 

Naota stared at the ruined village, a sneer on his lips. "This," he said, waving his hand in disgust. "This is why I hate demons."

 

Barou raised an eyebrow, his arms folded impassively over his chest. "Thanks."

 

The hanyou turned and cast him an appraising look. "Present company excluded," he said in a dark mutter.

 

Around them was a ruin, a small village had been torn apart and Naota had seen enough destruction in his lifetime to understand that these miserable peasants hadn't even seen the danger until it was too late. The small huts were demolished, the possessions of their former occupants strewn about carelessly.

 

It didn't look like a raid by marauding bandits; it didn't look like the work of soldiers. No, he thought grimly, averting his eyes from the corpse of a child. Only a demon could wreak this kind of wanton destruction and pain. Only a youkai would enjoy it so much to be so deliberate and savage at the same time.

 

It made him sick.

 

Moving with light steps, he pressed on through the carnage, his nose wrinkling with the strong scent of rotting blood. It had been at least a day or more since the slaughter, he was mildly surprised that no scavengers had arrived to pick the dead. In Naota's mind, that meant only one thing.

 

Whatever monster had done this had been so horrifying that even the beasts of the forest were scared to come closer.

 

Just because he had been born with no demon characteristics didn't mean that his instincts weren't sharp. He didn't need youki to guide his intuition. Experience, regret, and memories of the past were sufficient for him.

 

"It was him, whatever the hell he is," Naota said at last.

 

Barou picked his way over to his companion. They'd been tracking the monster, using a combination of his mental search and Naota's exceptional tracking skills. As a demon himself, and not inclined to be sentimental, he knew he was less affected by the destruction than his hanyou friend.

 

"Naota," he said quietly. "We have to tell Sesshomaru about this. That thing is heading straight into inuyoukai territory. If your cousin can move quickly enough, perhaps we can prevent this from happening again."

 

He snorted with an old bitterness. "Since when does Sesshomaru give a damn if humans are slaughtered? That cold bastard will think someone's doing him a favor."

 

"You might be wrong about that," Barou said delicately. Ever since he'd left the fortress, he'd been pondering over it. Something had changed their cousin to the point that he might no longer see humans as something inferior. Awfully hard to keep an attitude like that when one of the humans was sharing your bed at night. Then again, he could be entirely wrong on the subject. Sesshomaru's mind couldn't be read, hell, he could barely be counted on to be predictable.

 

Barou opened his mouth, intending to let Naota in on exactly how Sesshomaru's mind might have changed regarding humans and half bloods, when he sensed something approaching them. "Naota," he said tensely, watching the forest. "We have company."

 

The hanyou didn't move, but Barou could sense him suddenly change, his aura darkening noticeably. For someone without demon energy, the amount of human ki he put out was staggering. "What is it?" he asked Barou. "Is it the thing that did this?"

 

"I don't think so," Barou answered. They stood still and waited until a sudden wind blasted into the destroyed village. Both Barou and Naota turned away as they were pelted with dirt from a whirlwind that had appeared out of thin air.

 

"Damn it!" a gruff voice shouted.

 

When the dust settled, they were looking at a seemingly ill-tempered wolf-youkai. He surveyed the surrounding village, eying the broken bodies of dead peasants with purely selfish annoyance. "I missed him," the wolf announced, searching the destruction with steel blue eyes. "I fucking missed him again."

 

"Are you actually looking for the monster that did this?" Naota asked, bringing the wolf's attention to himself. "You're looking for that thing that butchered these people? Why do you care about this village?"

 

The wolf gave him a cold stare. "I don't give a damn what he did or why. My reasons are personal; I'm going to kill that fucking monster."

 

"Why?" Naota shot at him, getting in the wolf's face rather aggressively. "What's it to you?"

 

Smirking, the demon raised a clawed hand. "If you don't want to end up like the rest of the trash here, get out of my face, human."

 

Barou winced, realizing that Naota's temper had not been dimmed by time. The wolf's eyes went wide at the first furious kick to his chest; the second damned near knocked him off his feet.

 

The youkai recovered quickly, snarling with anger and launched an attack, aiming to tear the man's throat out. He didn't have to suffer the attacks of mere humans. In the past, he'd let his wolves feed on humans when they were hungry, it didn't make a damn bit of difference to him.

 

"You're gonna pay for that, runt," he snarled, itching to tear the human's head off.

 

Naota didn't answer, standing loosely and letting the wolf attack him again. When the blinding strikes came, he simply danced out the way, turning a neat flip over the wolf's head and kicking him in the back.

 

"I don't want to kill you, wolf," the human said softly. "I never kill anyone if I can avoid it, even a dirty youkai beast like you."

 

"Dirty what?" the wolf shouted, enraged more by the human's calm, cold words than his lightning fast kicks. He didn't often meet anyone faster than him, not even mutt-face was that quick. For a human, this guy was something else and he stood back a moment to evaluate the situation.

 

He didn't like it, his instincts were honed sharp by years of assessing threats and this time he wasn't sure what he was dealing with. A human that was faster than a demon, faster than him? Who held no scent of fear or intimidation? It didn't add up and he didn't like things that were mysterious or strange.

 

"Maybe another time," he spat at last. His prey wasn't here anyway; he didn't have time to play.

 

"No, you don't," Naota snapped, seeing the wolf getting ready to make a break for it. He read in the way the wolf demon's muscles tensed, that brief moment of distraction, the unusual confidence mixed with calculation in his eyes. Before the demon could make his move, Naota was on top of him, having delivering a vicious series of punches to the demon's face and landing with both knees hard on his chest.

 

"Who are you?" the human seeming man demanded.

 

"What are you?" the wolf hissed back from a mouthful of blood. His claws dug hard into the packed earth, tensing, ready to throw the attacker off if he could.

 

Naota wrapped both hands around the wolf's neck. "Don't even try it, demon."

 

Sighing, Barou decided it was up to him to call off Naota's aggressive attack. The wolf hadn't threatened them, wasn't responsible for the carnage, and Naota was letting his hatred of all things youkai rule his actions once again.

 

"Ta-kun," he said quietly. "Let the wolf go, you're being unreasonable."

 

"He knows something," Naota answered, baring his teeth like a demon. He didn't have fangs, never had, but the effect was the same. The wolf looked confused, staring up at the mild voiced inuyoukai with a bewildered stare. His nose told him that was an inuyoukai, but he wasn't acting like one. Then again, the human wasn't acting like a human either.

 

"What the hell is going on?" he snarled, pushing himself up on his elbows when the human let go of his neck.

 

The man got off him and the wolf struggled to his feet, looking ready to kill. The dog demon stared at him with sea gray eyes.

 

"Kouga," he said softly.

 

"Huh?" he answered, brushing himself off. He was glad that Ginta and Hakkaku hadn't seen a human pin him to the ground like a she-bitch; he would be mortally humiliated if word of this ever got out. He could just imagine the mutt-face's amusement over it. He shot a look up at the strange inuyoukai, standing so still and quiet he barely seemed alive.

 

Now that he thought about it, the other demon looked awfully familiar. Something about the cast of his face, an almost ethereal beauty. The hair was the wrong color and so were the eyes, but if Kouga had to say anything, he would have said the demon looked almost exactly like...

 

It was funny, he didn't remember sitting down. Kouga found himself propped up against a tree, his head throbbing in pain. It wasn't from a blow; he didn't think he'd been hit over the head with anything. But he had the distinct impression something had happened and it was a muzzy sensation, like he'd been walking through a thick mist.

 

The sharpest recollections he had were his memories of being taken down, his legs cut open. Something savage laughing in the background. It was as if someone had run their hands through his mind, taking each memory like a garment from a chest, shaking it out and refolding it neatly, placing it back where it belonged.

 

Dimly, he became aware of voices. A soft, soothing voice, speaking in low tones. "He doesn't know more than that, Naota. We should just let him go. As he said, he has personal reasons for hunting our quarry."

 

Kouga heard a snort. "Sounds like he was lucky to keep his life, my guess is he won't be so lucky the next time."

 

Are they talking about me, the stunned wolf demon wondered. He shook his head to clear it and tried to stagger to his feet. "What happened?" he demanded hoarsely. "What did you do to me?"

 

"Shhhh," one of the voices said soothingly. A rough hand on his shoulder shoved him back to the ground.

 

"Stay still, demon," the second voice ordered, harsh with contempt. "If you don't sit like a good boy, I'll have to crack your skull for you."

 

Kouga tried to growl threateningly, but it came out more like a muted whine. His entire body felt drained, he couldn't have moved if Naraku himself had shown up and tried to slit his throat. The weakness was incredible and when he tried to focus his eyes it made him so dizzy he wanted to retch.

 

"Is he going to be okay?" Naota asked as he gazed down at the wolf and sounded like he didn't give a damn either way.

 

Barou smiled. "He will be fine in a few hours, I may have probed a bit too aggressively, but I had to be sure he wasn't trying to conceal his true intentions.

 

Naota snorted and poked the demon with his foot. Kouga slumped to the side, glaring at him, or trying to through half-slitted eyes. "He doesn't look smart enough to hide anything."

 

"He's not," Barou answered coolly. The wolf growled softly at him and the inuyoukai knelt, taking the other demon's chin with his long, delicate fingers.

 

"Wolf," he said softly. "I advise you not to move. No harm has been done to you, I swear. In a few hours your energy will return. Until then, Naota is going to watch over you since you can't defend yourself."

 

"I'm what?" Naota demanded angrily. He planted his hands on his hips and glared at Barou. "And just where the hell are you going to be? I'm not babysitting any damn wolf youkai!"

 

"I am going to report to your cousin," Barou said smoothly. "The sooner I do, the sooner Sesshomaru-sama can devise a way to stop this beast from taking any more lives, human or demon."

 

"I wish you luck," Naota said in a sarcastic tone. "You take him with you then."

 

"I will travel swifter alone."

 

"I don't give a damn, he's not my problem!"

 

Kouga wished they'd both shut the hell up or just leave him. His head was throbbing mercilessly now. Ginta and Hakkaku couldn't be far behind, they would see to him if he were still helpless when they arrived.

 

Barou fixed Naota with an icy look. "Very well," the clanlord said. "If that is truly your wish, you may go to the fortress instead of me and make my report."

 

Naota's face flushed an angry red. "The hell I will," he snarled, turning away. "I swore I'd never return and I mean to keep that vow."

 

Annoyed, Barou wrapped his cloak around him and walked away. "So be it," he said softly. "Your bitterness is that of a child, Naota. For once you should be able to see beyond your quarrels and your guilt. Leave the wolf here it you wish, leave him to his death if that is what the fates decree. I must go."

 

Naota scowled after him, more perturbed by Barou's parting words than he wanted to admit. Guilt, he thought in disgust. I have nothing to feel guilty about, by the gods. I can't help what happened and it didn't make any difference. He turned to look at the half conscious wolf.

 

"Looks like I'm stuck with you, ya fuzzy bastard. Just my luck."

 

oOo

 

It had been an interesting evening, Kagome thought, turning over again as she tried to sleep. Even if Inuyasha didn't like it, she was glad that Jano had joined them. Something had to be done to cut the tension in the air and she was happy to have any excuse to stop being pensive and depressed.

 

Their simple evening meal had been punctuated by Jano's lively comments; the inuyoukai seemed to have a vast supply of funny stories and off color jokes. She and Miroku had laughed helplessly at his wild tales, Shippou giggling so hard that he finally almost choked himself to death when he snorted rice out his nose. Even Sango had smiled more than once.

 

Only Inuyasha seemed determined to hang on to his grumpy, sullen moodiness, sitting high in a tree and pretending that they didn't exist.

 

What is his problem, she wondered for probably the hundredth time that day. She honestly didn't know what to think about anything anymore and that was good because if she did think about it too much, she was going to start crying. And she thought she'd done just about enough of that.

 

Still, she pondered, twisting again in her sleeping bag, if he was that mad, why wouldn't he talk to her about it? He said he loved her, didn't he? He meant it, right? Kagome went hot and cold as she replayed the memory again in her mind.

 

How warm and gentle his hands had been, the taste of his lips, his tongue probing deep in her mouth… She shivered and twitched, a delicious feeling pooling between her legs as she tried to recall the way he'd held her against that wall, the hard thrust of his hips against hers and the way her whole body had yearned back at him.

 

Was I not good enough, she wondered suddenly, her eyes opening to peer into the dark night sky. Was he disappointed? She knew that she hadn't known what to do, how to pleasure him. Maybe he was regretting not being with someone more skilled, like the demon woman who'd wanted him.

 

That thought hurt, and Kagome curled her body around the tight little pain that had formed like a hard ball in her stomach. She'd been a little hesitant the next morning; she'd been scared to let him touch her. Maybe he'd sensed her uneasiness and it had made him wonder about her. Maybe he was regretting it; maybe he wished that she were someone else. Maybe Kikyou.

 

Stop that, she told herself and deliberately straightened her body. She composed her limbs to lie straight, forcing the muscles to relax instead of quiver with tension. You're beating yourself up over probably nothing; you're just looking for things to be wrong. It's Inuyasha, if he wasn't being moody and cranky you wouldn't know who he was. He probably hasn't even thought about it like that, he does probably just not want to show anyone how he feels.

 

That sounded better, a hell of a lot better than blaming herself. Only...she'd wanted him to be a little different afterwards. She wanted some of that tenderness she'd glimpsed, she wanted that feeling beyond just sex. She wanted him to hold her, tease her, and kiss her neck. Act like a lover, damn it, not a pissy hanyou with a personality disorder.

 

She wasn't going to get any sleep like this, Kagome thought, turning over and burying her face in her pillow. Even Shippou didn't want to stay with her; she'd been that restless. She sighed and then inhaled deeply, catching that last whiff of laundry detergent in her bedding and feeling just a little more homesick than usual.

 

She'd thought sex would make everything different; she'd wake up the next morning a whole new person, a woman. A woman with a lover who would do anything for her. She was so stupid sometimes.

 

oOo

 

Makiko sat down hard, staring at her sister in shock. "You're sure?" she blurted out.

 

Aiko was beaming at her, absolutely beaming at her. "I'm sure," the young woman said cheerfully. "I visited with the healer this morning, she confirmed it for me."

 

"You're pregnant?" Makiko said, still trying to absorb the information, the implications of her sister's condition. "You're absolutely sure the child is from your union with the human?"

 

Her sister's eyes twinkled merrily; Makiko wondered why she looked so pleased. "I'm absolutely certain," Aiko said in amusement. She'd enjoyed shocking her normally implacable sister. "I haven't been with another man for at least two months before that and the healer said she sensed something other than just the baby's youki, she sensed human blood."

 

Sighing, Makiko leaned back and looked at the ceiling. She wondered what the houshi-sama would think when he found out he was about to become a father. Some males had no interest in their offspring. Hopefully he was agreeable to the idea.

 

oOo

 

She sensed someone hovering over her and woke from what was already a

fitful sleep. Kagome opened one eye carefully, wondering what in the world was going on. A hand blocked the night sky from her view, a hand that was reaching tentatively for her hair. She opened her eyes all the way and just looked at him, meeting that bright golden gaze that always seemed to glow, to shimmer even in the darkest hours.

 

Slowly he pulled back his hand, hair untouched and let it rest on his knee. She followed the motion like it fascinated her and a small, perturbed line appeared between her brows. His expression was remote, unreadable, and she couldn't guess what was on his mind. "Inuyasha?" she whispered.

 

Her soft question seemed to shake him out of whatever thoughtful trance he was in, his gaze hardened once more, the tension returned to his arms. Kagome looked at him, asking him with her eyes to say something, anything, to break the awkwardness. Even something stupid like I-thought-you-were-asleep-Kagome, or even do-you-want-to-talk about-it-Kagome would have been welcome.

 

Instead he pulled away, gathering the red firerat sleeves around him like a protective shell, stood and walked off without so much as a bloody word of apology for waking her. She frowned as she watched the brightness of his hair disappear into the dark forest and wormed herself out of her sleeping bag as quietly as she could. She didn't want to wake the others. Sango needed her sleep, both because of the baby and her healing wounds. Miroku had likewise looked utterly exhausted when they'd all settled down for sleep.

 

As for Jano, she wasn't really sure. The tall inuyoukai had settled his back against a tree; his sword leaned easily against his chest as his head fell forward in sleep. Exactly the way Inuyasha slept when he didn't choose a tree branch instead of the cold forest floor. Vaguely, she wondered if all dog demons did that, slept sitting up when outside. Or just ones who were feeling protective and wanted to be on their guard.

 

She freed her legs from the warm bedding, the cool night breeze whispered over her bare feet. Kagome didn't want to think about it too much, but she knew she'd die a death of old age before Inuyasha spoke of anything like feelings in front of the others. He had been reaching for her, wanting to touch her hair like it was something he just couldn't hold himself back from anymore.

 

His expression hadn't been angry or upset, just a little wistful and oh, so sad it wanted to tear her heart out. Something was troubling him; she'd known it since they'd left the fortress. At first, she'd thought he was just pissed at Sesshomaru for being so callous to Sango, or maybe he was pissed at Sango for being pregnant with his brother's child.

 

Eventually, she came to realize that whatever was making him so touchy; it had to be something to do with her. That he wouldn't tell her when she asked made her certain, but Kagome wasn't afraid of Inuyasha, not even when he was being a jerk, not when he was furious with her. She'd been more scared for him that she'd ever been of him, as jealous of his safety as he was of hers.

 

Either way, it was time to make him talk to her. Kagome prided herself that he really did trust her more than anyone else and if she pushed and prodded in the right way, she'd usually get answers no matter how snotty he wanted to be. Silently, she got to her feet and followed him into the woods, leaving behind the faintly glowing coals of their fire and the light breathing of her companions.

 

Jano wasn't asleep, he had only been pretending in the first place, faking rest to watch over his charge. He had seen the hanyou tentatively approach the priestess, kneel down like it was something he wanted to be strong enough to resist and reach to touch her. Then the girl had awoken and spoke, the hanyou pulled away like he had no business being there in the first place. He watched Inuyasha walk away, smelled the girl's frustration and resolution before she got up to go after him.

 

"Good girl," he murmured.

 

"About damn time," the monk near him muttered sleepily.

 

Jano's mouth quirked in a half smile, closing his eyes once again. Peace settled over their small campsite and the bodyguard resumed his light not-sleeping doze and hoped that the two young ones so in an uneasy state of love would keep it quiet when they finally resolved their quarrel. He smirked to himself, thinking of Makiko and their arguments. He hoped to have many more such exchanges with the feisty female, if only for the pleasure of making it up to her later.

 

oOo

 

Kagome's nervousness was threatening to overwhelm her when she finally caught up with him. He must have heard her following and decided to wait and not make it more difficult. He could hide from her, avoid her easily if he chose, but she'd hoped he wouldn't. It was difficult to find enough privacy to have a real conversation; she didn't want to waste this opportunity.

 

She shivered slightly as the cool night air wandered lovingly in her hair, teasing the dark strands away from her face. The waning moon threw shadows and slices of brightness among the trees, illuminating his hair almost too brightly as he stood waiting, his head down and his arms slack at his sides. Now that she was standing there, facing him, she wasn't sure what to say. Kagome swallowed and said the first thing that came into her head.

 

"Hi."

 

No answer. She tried again. "I guess you couldn't sleep either," she said, hoping her voice didn't really sound that uncertain and awkward as she thought it did. He tilted his head at her, his eyes shining faintly from the shadows cast over his face. His silence was making her mad and finally she planted her fists on her hips and glared at him in exasperation.

 

"Damn it, Inuyasha! Why won't you talk to me?"

 

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, sounding still sullen and withdrawn.

 

His perpetual moodiness was really getting old she decided, throwing back her hair and striding right over to him. "How about if you tell me why you're mad at me? You've barely said three words to me since we left Sesshomaru's fortress. You won't look at me and you pull away every time I as much as reach in your direction."

 

He snorted, looking up at the sky. "You can't figure it out? Gods, you're stupid sometimes, Kagome."

 

"I'm stupid?" she shot back angrily. "What am I so damn stupid about? After...after that night, I thought you'd be different."

 

"And I thought you'd be different too," he said, sounding angry himself. Inuyasha held her gaze a moment before dropping it. "It was still the same old bullshit, you still let that jerk think you liked him."

 

"Kouga?" she asked incredulously. "You're mad about Kouga? Come on, Inuyasha, I don't believe that. I know you two can't get along but is that any reason to take it out on me? It's not like I ask him to grab my hands every time he sees me."

 

"You don't do a damn thing to prevent it," he said bitterly.

 

She stared at him, her mouth slightly open and finally shook her head to clear away the disbelief. What did he want her to do? Scream and yank away from the wolf demon like he was Naraku? Kouga wasn't a threat, he was a little dense and pretty persistent in his pursuit of her attention, but he was really just harmless. Just a big oaf that didn't really get how she wasn't excited as all hell that he loved her and wanted her to be 'his woman' as he so quaintly put it.

 

Inuyasha was just jealous, always had been. Kagome had rather found that endearing, for a long time it was one of the few signs he'd ever given her that she was more than just his jewel shard detector, signs that he might think of her as someone special even if she wasn't Kikyou.

 

"I can't believe you're that upset over him," she said at last. She inched closer, reaching quietly for his arm. She wanted to touch him, soothe him if she could. "I told you how I feel, you know I don't love him. It's you I love, Inuyasha."

 

He flinched when she said that, flinched and looked away. Her eyes got wide as she slowly retracted her hand. "What is it?"

 

Inuyasha shrugged. "If you meant that, you would have defended me."

 

Defend him, she thought in bewilderment. Since when did he need anyone to defend him? He was strength itself when he was in a fight, if she hadn't been there to put a stop to it, she was sure that Kouga would have been in little wolf pieces a long time ago. He was strong, he should be confident, he was absolutely fearless when it came to hunting for shards or trying to stop Naraku. Since when did Inuyasha need a human girl to defend him from anything?

 

"I'm not sure what you mean," she said slowly.

 

"And people say I'm dense," he retorted nastily.

 

"Then explain it to me!" she shouted. "Tell me why you're mad at me, tell me how I failed. Just don't leave me out here alone and thinking that I've ruined any chance for us. At least tell me what I did so I can say I'm sorry!"

 

He scowled at her, folding his arms and glaring that pissed off glare at her. "You didn't defend me," he said, biting off the words like chunks of ice. "That bastard accused me of forcing myself on you and you didn't say a word to deny it. You just stood there and let him think that I made you do something against your will. If that's your idea of love, you can just keep it. I ain't gonna stand around and watch you let him put his hands on you again."

 

Kagome just stared at him in disbelief. That was the reason? That was why he was so worked up, why he wouldn't look at her? It was ridiculous, it was insane, it was pure emotional jealousy and she would have laughed at the absurdity of it if she hadn't seen the tight, bitter expression on his face.

 

"Inuyasha," she said, feeling helpless. "Kouga's an idiot, of course he'd think something dumb like that. We know it's not the truth."

 

He took a deep breath, looking like his heart was about to burst in his chest. "All my life," he muttered, reaching up one sharp-clawed hand to shove his heavy hair away from his face. "All my life, I've always been the first one to be blamed. Even when I was just a little runt and couldn't defend myself. If it was broken, I broke it. If it was missing, I stole it. I hate feeling that way; I hate feeling like a worthless dog that's been kicked out of way. I know it wasn't true what he said, what happened was...beautiful to me. That you'd let Kouga keep thinking that I forced it on you makes me feel like dirt."

 

Her eyes were stinging with tears, her breath caught painfully in her chest. The air itself was too heavy, too potent and Kagome's head swam from it. Suddenly she had a blinding flash of intuition and she saw it all from his perspective.

 

Inuyasha risked himself over and over to defend her, protect her and still she didn't turn Kouga's attentions away. She kept insisting he was a friend when to Inuyasha; he could never be anything less than a rival. Over and over, she'd sat the living daylights out of him, in front of Kouga, in front of everyone, treating him just like he was worthless to her. She'd removed the rosary before they'd made love, a symbol of her trust of him, her utter and complete devotion.

 

And what happened next? She failed to let him assert his claim on her, she failed to back him up when he should have been able to look everyone in the eyes with his head up and proud. No wonder he'd been in such a terrible mood. Even the woman he loved didn't take his side against a rival for her affections. That had to hurt, that had to feel like hell, and it had to feel awful. It had to feel like betrayal.

 

"Oh Inuyasha," she said, hoping he could hear the contrite regret in her voice. She was just a girl; she was new to love herself. How could she say the right thing to heal him, made him understand that she'd never meant for him to feel like that?

 

I should have slapped Kouga's face for saying that, I should have shouted at him that I loved Inuyasha and I gave him my heart and everything else freely because I wanted him so badly I couldn't stand it. That I threw myself at him and begged him to take me, not the other way around. He'd never have to force me to love him when I burned for his touch and his kiss for years on end.

 

"I don't know why I thought it would be different," he said, his voice so quiet and tentative. "When I was a little kid, my mother was the only person who would touch me willingly without wanting to hurt me. After she died, there was no one. I wasn't supposed to have friends, I wasn't supposed to have feelings either.”

 

He took a deep breath. “I stopped letting myself feel it because I got tired of hurting. The older I got, the more obvious it was that they didn't want me around. My own brother didn't want me; my mother's family wished I'd died before I was even born. Even when other kids, particularly girls, didn't seem to shy away from me, their parents made sure I knew what I was."

 

Get away from my daughter, you dirty half-breed! She could hear the words as clearly as if she had access to his memories. Kagome's eyes welled with tears and they started to slide down her face. And she thought he was insensitive and crude, he had to be to cover all that up and bury it deep enough so that it didn't eat him alive.

 

She could almost hear Sesshomaru's sneering voice. You're worthless and weak; you'll never be anything else but a hanyou. What would it feel like, she wondered, to always be the outsider? She wouldn't know, she'd always been loved and adored by her family, wrapped up in their close acceptance. She couldn't doubt her place in her world, why hadn't she seen he'd never had any place at all?

 

Kagome moved closer, reaching up with both hands to cup his face. He let her touch him, finally meeting her eyes and she wanted to wash away the hurt misery that lived there. "I am so sorry," she whispered, her palms cupping his cheeks. "Please believe me, I never knew that you'd feel that way. I should have made sure Kouga understood that I belong to you. Only to you."

 

His hands came up and wrapped around her wrists, but he didn't pull her away. "I want to believe you," he said in a soft, vulnerable tone she'd never heard him use before. "I want to, but I don't really know how."

 

Her fingers stroked his face, brushing over his eyelids and her thumbs traced his lips. "You are not that scapegoated and abandoned child any longer, Inuyasha." His hands crushed her wrists like he was trying to deny how much he needed to hear that. "You are not dirty or worthless or weak. You're the strongest person I know, you'd have to be to have ever survived."

 

His arms were shaking, she could hear him breathing harder and trembling, his eyes closed against whatever he was feeling. She pressed her body into his, letting his warmth melt into her, her hands sliding back to twist in his hair. "You are deserving of love. I'll give you everything I have if you'll just believe that. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere for as long as you want me by your side."

 

"Kagome," he said in a husky voice full of need. His hands had moved to her shoulders and now they slowly descended down her back to rest lightly on her hips. He licked his lips; she was lost in their soft fullness and tilted her head back. Almost shyly, he moved to kiss her, drawing her lower lip between his teeth and touching the tip of his tongue to hers like a promise.

 

Then there was nothing gentle about his embrace, nothing tentative or wistful in his mouth when he crushed her against him and plundered her parted lips, ravishing her mouth desperately in his urgent need. Kagome opened herself to him; willing him to taste her, drink in the sincerity and depth of what she said, affirm her words with her body and hands as they twisted in his hair.

 

One of his hands came up to the back of her head, holding her possessively in their kiss. His other arm pulled her tightly against him, almost lifting her off her feet as his forearm crushed against her spine. She hooked her leg around his so he'd have no doubt of her want for him.

 

Inuyasha broke their kiss with a snarl and suddenly gathered her up in his arms, his hands flexing compulsively on her thighs as he carried her deeper into the forest, afraid their seclusion might be broken if one of their companions came in search of them. Kagome hung limp against him, submissively, one arm wrapped around his neck and the other fisted in the in the front of his haori. He found a small, grassy clearing where the moon shone down on them and dropped to his knees, her still clasped tight against his chest.

 

"Kagome," he mumbled as she urgently twisted in his embrace, kissing his neck, his upper chest, whatever she could reach. She settled on her knees, her hands pulling at him eagerly. He was hard as stone against the soft flesh of her belly and she rocked against him so he'd know that she wanted this every bit as badly.

 

"Now," she murmured, throwing back her head as he whimpered into her neck. His fangs grazed her throat and his hands slid up under her skirt and she jumped a bit when she felt the sharpness of his claws slice away her undergarments and reach down to part her thighs.

 

He pushed her onto her back, kissing her hard as he rested his weight on her slight form, too needy and desperate to even undress her all the way or do more than shove his own clothing down from his hips. She hugged him tight, urging him to not wait any longer. She was ready; there would be other nights for foreplay and experimentation. Now she needed him, needed to answer that gaping hole in his heart that told him he didn't deserve her love. She told him what she could with words, now she just wanted to show him with her body how she really felt and reached down, digging her fingernails into his lower back.

 

"Now," she said again, demanding.

 

Inuyasha growled in the back of his throat and suddenly shoved hard into her. Kagome bit back a cry, her thighs trembling a bit as she accepted him. Her first time had not been long ago, she might have expected a bit of discomfort, but at the same time nothing had ever felt so right. He looked down at her, sensing perhaps her slight pain and she quickly pulled him down to her for a long, slow kiss.

 

"Don't stop," she whispered into his mouth as he trembled inside her. "Don't stop now."

 

He pressed into her, moving hard and fast, grinding her hips almost painfully into the ground. All the tension, all the distrust and hurt feelings, all the bitterness and mutual doubts evaporated as Inuyasha took her almost violently, desperate in his need for her, his desire. Kagome matched him, making small pleasured sounds as he breathed hot and harsh in her ear. She felt half blinded, caught up in wave after wave of demon instinct flowing over her skin and lighting her with a passionate lust of her own.

 

His voice was ragged and rough. "Hold onto me," he growled, his hands sliding under her shoulders. She lifted her hips, wrapped her legs around him and held on for dear life as he pounded against her, his hands tightening convulsively on her as he braced her body against his frantic rhythm.

 

"Oh god," she cried out, clenching him with her thighs as he burned her from the inside out, made the world go white and hot and blinding. She tasted copper in her mouth and realized she'd bitten her own lip hard enough to draw blood.

 

He gasped suddenly and threw himself into her with a searing thrust, shuddering hard and his entire body convulsed against hers. She stroked his hair, his back, and his arms and around to his face until his muscles relaxed, settling against her as the firestorm raged and died out.

 

Kagome was shaking, it was so strange to be so free, so wanton as to give herself to him so absolutely but she didn't regret a single second. Slowly, her eyes focused on the trees around them, seeing the sky start to lighten. She listened to his breathing and sighed deeply in contentment.

 

Kagome brushed Inuyasha's hair back from his neck, pressing her lips against his ear. "I love you," she whispered thickly. He mumbled against her, acknowledging her and she smiled and looked up again, searching for the observer again as if to say, do you like what you see? Her smile died on her lips as the person let herself be seen and she stared back in shock and surprise.

 

"Inuyasha," she whispered, tugging at his hair.

 

He raised his head and looked into her eyes, her breath caught at the tender wonder filling that soft golden gaze. "Kagome, I love you," he said, brushing her cheek with his lips. "I'll never mistrust you again, I swear I'd do anything for you, anything to make you happy. I'll never let anyone take you away from me and I'll never be dumb enough to let you go."

 

She wanted to cry. It was so much that she couldn't stand it and her arms ached from holding him so tightly. His head rested against her shoulder and Kagome's eyelids squeezed shut with sudden emotion.

 

“I'm going to make sure you keep that promise,” she said, pressing her cheek against his hair. “And I'll keep mine, forever.”