InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Third Rate Romance ❯ In the Warring States Era - Part 6 ( Chapter 6 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Third Rate Romance - Part 6

Reba Jean 11/15/03

Email to: rjean@ghg.net or rebajean@writing.com

Category: Parody/Humor/Romance

Rating: R/NC

Third Rate Romance, the bawdy tail of how Kagome got stuck on Fluffy, a Sesshoumaru/Kagome lemon romantic parody.

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As Inuyasha and his group prepared to leave, a dusty whirlwind appeared at the top of the hill. Skidding to a stop in front of Inuyasha and Kikyo in the courtyard, Kouga barked, "Dog-Turd, is your rabble ready to go?"

"Yeah, Asswipe, they're over there." He gestured toward Sango, Miroku, and Shippo gathered at the edge of the forest.

"Where's my woman?" Kouga added, eyes narrowing as he searched for Kagome.

"She's MY wen..." Inuyasha cringed and backed away several paces under Kikyo's steely glare. "Uh, anyway, she's NOT your woman, you idiot excuse for a wolf," growled Inuyasha. He was not jealous of this fool's absurd claims to Kagome. She no longer meant anything to him; he reminded himself, glancing at Kikyo nervously.

Circling and sniffing the breeze, Kouga relaxed. "Ah, there she is," Kouga's attention focused on the castle door opening into the courtyard.

Kagome emerged from the doorway equipped for travel. Her light pack, bow, and quiver full of arrows were slung across her shoulders. She was dressed in ankle length leaf green hakama, pale green kosode, and forest leaf print haori. A wakizashi was tucked into her obi and she carried a short naginata. She appeared to be in deep conversation with Sesshoumaru, who was also armed for battle, and exited the castle beside her.

"More weapons than last time I saw her," Kouga commented idly.

"Yeah, Sesshoumaru told us to take what we needed from the armory," Inuyasha admitted reluctantly.

For a moment both were dumbfounded as they stared at the pair across the courtyard. Sesshoumaru circled Kagome's waist with one arm, pulling her closer until their bodies touched along one side. He lightly tapped the crescent moon pendant now around her throat with one clawed finger. "Send word through this talisman when the time comes to deploy my troops against Naraku. I cannot spare them from the battle lines along my southern borders until they are absolutely required." He reached up and brushed back the hair, which had fallen across one side of her face. "If you need my presence or my protection, call for me, and I, Sesshoumaru will come to you." Rare emotion for once flaring in his golden eyes, he added, "When the fight is won, and this business with Naraku is finished, you shall return to stay with me."

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I'm stuck on you
Been a fool too long I guess it's time for me to make it known
Guess I'm on my way
So hard to see
That a woman like you could wait around for a man like me
Guess I'm on my way
Mighty glad you stayed

Oh, you're leaving on that quest today

And I know just where you're going
I've packed up all my reservations and I've thrown them all away
'Cause this time little darling

When all is said and done
You're coming home to stay

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Kouga growled menacingly, his green eyes narrowed to angry slits, lashing his tail in frustration. "Dog Turd, your bastard brother is touching my woman. You were supposed to watch her for me. I'm gonna kill him first and then you next."

As Kouga sprang to do battle, Inuyasha dived forward, grabbing his tail and tossed him to the ground. "Baka, she's not your woman," he smirked as his foot ground Kouga's face into the dirt.

Kagome stretched upwards to her full height on tiptoe and tugged the tall taiyoukai's face near to her own. Sly amusement audible in her voice, she told him, "Fluffy, I'll always be stuck on you." Kagome dragged the startled Sesshoumaru even closer and kissed him soundly. His hold tightened and he crushed her to his armored chest, deepening the embrace.

The shocked canine onlookers glared questioningly at one another as if to confirm that what they had seen was real. By this time Inuyasha's eyes had hazed red and he growled incoherently. "That asshole dares to kiss My Kagome. I'll kill him first." Kikyo finally joined the confrontation and stomped angrily in front of Inuyasha. Grabbing him by the ear she forced him down and screamed, "Inuyasha, Stay!"

Pausing for a moment to catch their breath, Kagome and Sesshoumaru observed the bystanders' antics. Sesshoumaru's eyebrow raised slightly and one side of his mouth twitched in amusement. Kagome sighed; she regretted hurting her thickheaded wolf admirer's feelings. Seeing Kikyo's display of iron control over Inuyasha was satisfying somehow though. She kept him on a much shorter chain than Kagome had ever considered doing. Kikyo was crouched in front of Inuyasha, berating him viciously. His ears were plastered to his skull; he positively cringed, and resembled nothing so much as a whipped and cowering cur. Kagome looked up curiously at Sesshoumaru, reading his utter delight at his brother's plight in the subtle signs barely noticeable on his poker face.

Kagome grinned evilly and pronounced the dreaded command, "Sit, boy!"

Laughing she continued, "Sit, sit, sit, . . ." Inuyasha crashed to the ground, crushing Kikyo beneath him, as he repeatedly pummeled her into the dirt.

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And back in the real world:

Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru filed protests with the Anime Character's Guild over their portrayal in this fanfic. Kagome is currently enjoying her two year membership in the Oden of the Month Club. Kikyo eagerly awaits delivery of her custom designed leather dominatrix costume from FetishesRUs. Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and Rin were bribed with large quantities of pocky. Jaken protested his limited role, but a threat from Rin to feed him bugs in the next story was sufficient to silence him, not that anyone really cares what he thinks.