InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ This is Me ❯ This is Me ( Chapter 1 )

Hey ppl, this is my first fanfic I've ever written so please tell me if you like it. Please no flames, just constructive criticism if you must.

Disclaimer: Just how many times have you seen this? I DO NOT own Inuyasha or any other characters from the show. They belong to Rumiko T. I'm just borrowing the characters for the purposes of this fic only, and perhaps other fics I may write in the future. Also I do not own the song, "This is Me". It's a great song by "Dream" I believe.

The title of this fic is also the title of the song, no brainer.

This is a one-shot songfic. I'm starting out small.

This is Me

By Fenikkusu Ice

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She stole your heart

Only did it because she could

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She was your first love, I know. It was fifty years ago yet you still hold onto her as if your life depended on it.

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Chew you up and smack you round

That girl never was no good

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She betrayed you; shot an arrow through your heart and left you to what was supposed to be an eternal sleep, pinned to the tree.

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Baby I would never do that

I'll love you faithfully

But your suspicious mind thinks

I'm gonna repeat her story

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You know that I would never betray you, but you still avoid me: my face, my eyes, my touches… You never let me get close to you. Has she done that much damage to you that you can't let me through that ice around your heart? Why can't you let me love you? Have I not shown that I care for you? Maybe through your eyes I'm just a friend, maybe less. Miroku, Sango, Kirara, and even Shippo can see that I love you. Why can't you? I promise to love you with all my heart always. Have I ever broken a promise to you before? Will you trust me?

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Making you crazy, making you wreck

Making you follow me, making me suspect

Seem to think you're playing her game

Don't you know my name?

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Occasionally, you would show little displays of emotion. Sometimes I catch you sneaking glances at me. Sometimes when I smile at you, you let a little smile slip through. Once I even caught you staring at me, when I opened my eyes in tiny slits from across the campfire on the ground when we were both supposed to be asleep hours ago. Do you stare at me only because I look like her? Are you leading me on only to dump like she did to you? Please don't answer that.

I can never stop thinking about you. I even dream about you. Often I dream about my lips slightly touching yours, our eyes closed and enjoyed each other's warmth. You don't know how much I wanted to feel my fingers through your soft silky silver hair. Or feel your strong arms around me, making me feel safe and wanted. I want to be able to look in your amber eyes and see the same emotion reflected in them as mine. Love.

But I can never have that dream.

You never call me by my name, always referring me as `bitch, wench or woman' or any other insults you could think of. Don't you know my name? Or are you so close to calling me `Kikyou' just because I remind you of her?

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That was her, this is me

We're different, asking me

She and I are nothing alike

You're confusing day and night

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Kikyou. That's her name; the one that hurt you. She's the one who tried to drag you to hell. When we first met, you called me `Kikyou'. Even now when you know that I never liked being compared with her, you continue to say how she's better and always will be. Do you enjoy torturing me? Seeing the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes when you mention her? We have some similarities but they are few. We're both mikos, have black hair, but other than that we have no other obvious connection, other than you. Most people would say she's cold, uncaring, lifeless, while they say that I'm the opposite. We're so different; how could you not see that?

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That was then, this is now

You wanna trust me but you don't know how

I'm never gonna mess around, let you down, can't you see?

That was her, and baby this is me.

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Why can't you trust me? I come back when I say I will. I never broke my promise to you. You have betrayed me countless times but I still forgive you. Do you not care for me at all?

Can you not let go of your past? I love you but you don't care because you can't see it; you still care for her. You don't know how much that breaks my heart. Every comment you make about her is like a knife that tears through my heart, slowing as if mocking my pain. There are times when you run off to be with her in the middle of the night and I know but I don't stop you. Those are some of the times when I would break down and cry slightly, so I would not disturb the others. I don't want them to get involved. This is my problem.

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Stop making me feel bad

I'm the best thing you've ever had

Only thing I'm guilty of

Is giving you too much love

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Even when you're not comparing me with Kikyou you still hurt me. You insult me all the time. You always complain when I want to go through the well to see my family again. You are protective of me, but you never show that you cared in any other way. Why?

When you're injured, I treat your wounds with gentle care. When you betray me, I forgive you. When you insult me, I forgive you. When you make me cry, I forgive you. You say that the only reason I'm still alive is because I'm your `precious' shard detector. You accuse me of being selfish when I ask to visit my family. Don't you know how much I sacrificed for you? My friends and family worry constantly about me, I put off my education, I risk my life to go through the well… don't you care?

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Making you, making you crazy, making you wreck

Making you follow me, making me suspect

Seem to think you're playing her game

Don't you know my name?

That was her, this is me

We're different, asking me

She and I are nothing alike

You're confusing day and night (day and night)

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It's been two years since I set you free from her arrow. Why can't you let go? Why can't I let you go? I know the answer to that one. It's because I love you. But you don't care. You don't look at me. I'm just a shard detector to you. Do I want to let go? No. But if I have to, I will. I can't keep on hurting like this. But you don't love me. You see me as her. I know that you run off to be with her. They say that if you truly love something, you have to let it go… or something like that. Even though I still love you, I would rather you be with the one you love, instead of being unhappy with me. Now I know, love hurts. You are my first love, perhaps my last. I hope she will make you happy. Do you love her? Don't worry. I won't leave. I'll still be your friend if you let me. Or you can still think of me as only a shard detector. I have responsibilities and friends here. Remember one thing. I will not make the same mistake by betraying you. That was her; this is me.

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That was then, this is now (you're mine now)

You wanna trust me but you don't know how (forget about her)

I'm never gonna mess around, let you down, can't you see? (come on)

That was her, and baby this is me. (get a grip)

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So how was it? PLEASE REVIEW!!! Should I continue with this or should I leave it as a one-shot? If I continue I promise it would get a LOT more original with the plot coz I realize how common this part is. I hope you liked it though. See ya!

Fenikkusu Ice