InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ This is Me ❯ Painful Regrets ( Chapter 7 )

Disclaimer: Me own Inuyasha? Yeah right (me being sarcastic). I wish. Oh and the song "Never Had a Dream Come True" by SClub7 is not mine either.

Thank you to reviewers and readers. The responses to the reviews:

sabriel7: Hmm. Maybe I'll use your idea. I haven't decided yet. You're probably find out in the next chapter. Thanks for the suggestion by the way.

Fanfiction.net

ejqHorseLady: Good question. I actually haven't thought about Miroku sensing Kagome's power but I would say that Kagome could hide her aura since she is more powerful now. I'll mention that in a later chapter coz that piece of info doesn't fit here (Please remind me). Thanks! Oh and you get your Inuyasha POV chapter right here.

Shadow39: Oh yeah! There will be more evil bitch ass kicking later.

KagomeChan*SilverWaters: Cool idea, but I've already made my decision and it's gonna be an inu/kag although Kagome may meet Naraku in the future, I'm not sure. Thanks for your suggestion.

Mediaminer.org

White Fox 612: Well here you go. The seventh chapter. Personally I don't think this fic is all that great, but you know what they say: `The worse critic of your story is you,' or something to that effect. Glad you like it!

I know it's been a long while. I'm so sorry for the delay but I'm about buried in books. So much work! Well anyway. . . here is the seventh chapter of this fanfic.

Just a warning: This chapter WILL get angsty and I MEAN angsty. Prepare for tears.

`This is Me'

By Fenikkusu Ice

Chapter 7: Painful Regrets

***** (Inuyasha's POV)

"Owww."

I woke up feeling as though somebody was pounding on my head. I rubbed my head and looked around. I was in Kaede's hut. Before long, I remembered what I was supposed to be doing.

I ran out as fast as I could to the Bone Eater's Well. If Kagome left then for sure she would have gone home. That's simple. All I have to do is bring her back then. Even if I'll have to drag her back here myself. After all, we haven't finished our mission yet and that girl wasn't gonna go back home until the jewel is complete.

As I approached the Bone Eater's well though there was only a whiff of Kagome's scent; she hadn't been here since the last time she came back from her world.

I frowned as I stared at the well. Where could she have gone? That stupid girl would just get herself into trouble again.

I ran to the place where we camped out last night and followed her scent to a clearing. My eyes widened as I recognized the two figures: Kikyo and. . . Kagome. What were they doing? I couldn't believe what they were doing. Didn't they hate each other?

I tried to walk to them but a barrier stopped me. I took out Tetsusaiga and sliced at the barrier but it didn't work.

I watched as Kikyo and Kagome shot arrows at each other. I yelled at them to stop but they didn't seem to hear me. I let out the breath I had been holding when I saw that neither of them were hurt, but Kikyo did get a scratch on her cheek. Just when had Kagome became so powerful? She had moved so quickly. The light on her arrow was bigger and brighter than even Kikyo's. When had she changed so much?

They exchanged a few more words and then Kikyo disappeared among the trees. I couldn't hear a word they said. The barrier disappeared along with Kikyo and I followed Kagome while being hidden in the shadows of the trees in the forest.

Kagome founded Shippo and neither of them had noticed me.

"Come out Inuyasha. I know you're here," Kagome suddenly said with her back to me.

Only scratch that. She DID notice me.

I walked up to her just as she told Shippo to leave us for a few moments. Shippo gave me a cold glare in which I returned to him and he ran away.

"What do you want Inuyasha?" she said to me in an emotionless tone.

I winced slightly. Just when did she become so cold to me? Her eyes. . . they changed too. Now they are an ice blue, not like Kikyo's though. Kikyo's eyes are cold, dead and unfeeling while Kagome's are now ice cold, but they still held emotions, emotions that refused to show themselves to me at this moment.

"Kagome, why did you leave?" I asked the question. She didn't answer and just stared at me. I felt as if she was staring through me, at my soul, trying to figure out everything deep within.

Finally after what seemed like so long, she answered, "Because I need to prove that I'm capable, that I'm strong."

I shook my head. "You are strong, Kagome. You've proven that a long time ago."

"Am I?" came the cold reply as her eyes narrowed.

"Yes, come on Kagome. Come back and we can get Miroku and Sango and we can hunt for the shards again."

"I'm looking for the shards. . . alone."

"Why?" I asked without bothering to show a bit of anger. "You shouldn't look for the shards on your own; it's dangerous. And besides," I swallowed, "I need you," I whispered.

Her eyes widened and anger clearly shown through. "You don't need me, Inuyasha. Leave me be," she seethed as she turned around and walked away.

"Kagome," I started.

"Sit."

SLAM! I felt the familiar meeting with the ground session.

She whispered, "You have Kikyo. Isn't that enough? Stop toying with me, Inuyasha. I've moved on." And with that she left me lying there.

I made my way to the nearest tree and sat on one of the stronger branches overlooking the forest named after me. I did not move for hours. Her words had cut through me. What was the point of dragging her back after what she'd said?

She had said she had moved on. Had she given up on me?

/\/\/\/\/\

Everybody's got something

They had to leave behind

One regret from yesterday

That just seems to grow with time

/\/\/\/\/\

Kikyo was my first love. You know that yet you still cared for me. You told me that you fell in love with me. Why?

/\/\/\/\/\

There's no use looking back or wondering

How it could be now or might have been

All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

/\/\/\/\/\

Fifty years ago I fell in love with the woman who understood me. But because of one fatal mistake, we could never be together like we wanted. I could not let her go, because I loved her.

/\/\/\/\/\

I never had a dream come true

Til the day that I've found you

Even though I pretend that I moved on

You'll always be my baby

/\/\/\/\/\

When I first met you, I had mistaken you for her. Looking back, I could not believe how I could have. You two are opposites. She was always serious, sad, lonely, while you were cheerful, friendly and kind.

/\/\/\/\/\

I never found the words to say

You're the one I think about each day

And I know no matter where life takes me to

A part of me will always be

With you

/\/\/\/\/\

I felt something towards you the moment I met you. I didn't want this feeling because I couldn't let go of the past. I still cared for her.

But you wouldn't take the hint and leave me alone. You wouldn't give up. I constantly insulted you on purpose, just so you could leave me alone. I knew that my words hurt. I did regret saying those things to you because you believed them. I didn't mean any of the hurtful things I said about you. But what did it take for you to go?

/\/\/\/\/\

Somewhere in my memory

I lost all sense of time

And tomorrow can never be

Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind

/\/\/\/\/\

I don't know when but I began to feel so much more towards you. You were in my mind; I could not get you out of my head but I did not want to. I had fallen in love with you. You had done what I thought could never happen; you made me fall in love again.

/\/\/\/\/\

There's no use looking back or wondering

How it should be now, or might have been

All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

/\/\/\/\/\

When I fell in love with you, I felt whole, complete. Even Kikyo did not make me feel that way, but I promised her. I know I'm partly responsible for her death. How can I not be? I was supposed to trust that she would not betray me, yet I did not. Did that mean that our love wasn't strong enough then?

How do I know that I would not hurt you as well?

/\/\/\/\/\

I never had a dream come true

Til the day that I've found you

Even though I pretend that I moved on

You're always be my baby

/\/\/\/\/\

I slowly fell out of love for the Kikyo I once knew, and I know now. . . I know that I'm in love with you. But I still could not let go. I go to her because she is all alone while you still have Shippo, Kirara, Miroku and Sango by your side. I still care for her but now I care for her as a friend.

I know that I hurt you many times. Each time, you forgave me. I did not deserve your love.

/\/\/\/\/\

I never found the words to say

You're the one I think about each day

And I know no matter where life takes me to

A part of me will always be

/\/\/\/\/\

Did you give up on me now? I do not blame you. You must be so torn inside when I went to Kikyo, but don't you see that I'm hurt as well? When you look at me with those ice cold eyes, I feel torn inside, like you would never look at me like you used to, with love. My heart feels as though knives stabbed within, and it would never heal. . . unless I'm with you.

/\/\/\/\/\

A part of me will always be

/\/\/\/\/\

It is now night. Tears fell from my eyes as I stared up into the star filled sky. A shooting star streaked across the night sky, filling the forest with little light and giving me a small hope that maybe, just maybe. . .

Please Kagome, forgive me. I need you. I've regretted everything I've done to hurt you. Please believe me. If it is my last breath, I say forgive me. I love you with all my soul and heart.

/\/\/\/\/\

With you

/\/\/\/\/\

My eyes close as my last tear for the night dripped down my cheek.

Please. . .

*******

This is longer than usual just because I'm in a mood for writing. How was it? Was Inuyasha too OOC? This was meant to be Inuyasha's private thoughts so yeah he could be this way in his heart. As always READ and REVIEW people!

Later,

Fenikkusu Ice