InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ This is Me ❯ Never Forgiven ( Chapter 9 )

Disclaimer: Hmm. *Fenikkusu Ice shakes a magic 8-ball* Will I own Inuyasha? *Stops shaking the ball and looks* <No> So nope! Inuyasha does not belong to me. *Shakes 8-ball again* Will I own the song, "Love Wouldn't Count Me Out"? *peeks* <You wish! Keep dreaming!> Stupid 8-ball, but it's right. I don't own "Love Wouldn't Count Me Out" by Brandy either.

I know I should be updating my other stories right now but I feel like writing this chapter all of a sudden. Oh in case you haven't noticed, I've changed my pen name so now I'm Fenikkusu Ice on mediaminer.org, fanfiction.net and fictionpress.net. Now I don't have three different pen names; it does get confusing after a while.

I've finally found a song that's suited to this. I've never actually heard the song before but the lyrics fit very well.

Responses:

Mediaminer.org: (I'm so sorry for those on mediaminer.org but when I moved my fics to my new pen name, I forgot to put the responses on here so I've lost all my wonderful reviews. Sniff. Anyway thanks to those who did review.)

Fanfiction.net

Foxy-Kikyou's-Destroyer: Thanks! I'll continue writing. It's just that I do care a lot about what people think of my fanfics. I see no point in writing if people don't read. You are so gonna hate Kikyou even more after you read what's gonna happen in this chapter and later.

star: Err, what you've just left for me was a review. You know, commenting on my fic, that's basically what a review is. What kind of story are you making? Is it a fanfic or an original story? I've actually made up an original character, also named Sora in one of my Inuyasha fanfics. In my opinion, whether an ending is good or bad is based largely on how the story is written and what the author's intentions in their story are. Glad you loved my story.

Rushyuo: Wow three reviews in a row. To be perfectly honest, this fic was originally gonna be sess/kag. I was gonna use the old plot. You know, inu betrays kag with kikyo, kag leaves and meets sess. Something like that. But I couldn't really decide on whether to pair kag with inu or sess at the time so I let people vote on it. Inu/kag won so there you have it. I actually find it hard to get down Inuyasha's character. I take longer to get down Inu's character than any of the others so far. When I write about his character sometimes it sounds a little cheesy, totally out of character, or he comes out like a jackass (excuse my language) and/or a complete moron. But that's just my challenge. Sorry about the rambling. :P Like I said before to another reviewer, you are so gonna hate Kikyo after you read what happens later. I love your chant by that way! That's the first time anyone's ever done that for me.

ejqHorseLady: Here's the next chapter for ya! Thanks for your support!

Chapter 9: Never Forgiven

******* (Kagome's POV)

Shattered. Such a simple word really though this one word describes the feeling upon my heart and my soul.

A heart is such a fragile thing. At this moment, I felt as if my heart had been ripped from my chest and stomped on. I feel the very essence of my soul breaking, shattering like the tiny pieces of a broken window. Why?

/\/\/\/\/\

Oh, I believed in us

Tell me what are you thinking?

Why can't we make it?

Why would you say those things to me?

If you're trying to break this

Just go ahead and say it

If you are in love then why let it go?

Tell me please, what's happened, baby?

/\/\/\/\/\

I once believed that we could have been more than we were, even though I knew that you cared for another. Was I so blind then? Am I blind now?

Oh Inuyasha, how could I have fallen for you?

You've hurt me so many times to count. Betrayal should really have been your middle name.

You've called me so many names now, I just don't care anymore. Bitch, wench, stupid. . . need I say more? What does it take for you to respect me at least?

I almost wish that I've never fallen for you. Then everything would be the way it was before. Just simple. Collecting shards day by day. I can live with that as long as neither of us speaks of loving the other.

What happened to us?

/\/\/\/\/\

I believed in everything you said

If your vow couldn't make it

You shouldn't have made it

How could you let me believe

You couldn't leave me

If you never loved me

If you are in love than why let it go?

Tell me please, what's happened baby?

/\/\/\/\/\

You promised to protect me. Did you? Why make empty promises? Why make promises you can't keep. It would have been so much less complicated. Not to mention bringing my hopes up and for what? But I suppose you couldn't take all the blame for that. After all, like the fool I was, I believed your lies.

/\/\/\/\/\

I wonder why you hurt me

I question all the pain

What would make you wanna leave this way

What made you say it's over

What is taking over

I cannot believe I loved ya

But it wasn't meant to be

Because love wouldn't do this to me

It used to be...

/\/\/\/\/\

I saw you kissing Kikyo just now. It wasn't the first time. It hurts every time. My heart pounds wildly in my chest, despite the feeling of being broken. What was the word I used again? Shattered? That's right. You've always left me to pick up the broken pieces. Mending them. But my heart can never fully heal for there are scars because I still remember.

I've been through it all just to love you. Did you love me back I'm not so sure. But now I know. If you did then you wouldn't have hurt me so many times. I've heard of the expression, `you only hurt the ones you love' but how many times has it been now? I can't take the pain anymore. Now I see that it's not worth it anymore. I feel like a light had just shown through my eyes, allowing me to see through the small crack for the first time, since being blinded by love.

/\/\/\/\/\

It used to be that

You couldn't live without me

But now you think you're better than me

So now it's over

I guess it wasn't true

When you said I love you

Because love just wouldn't count me out

/\/\/\/\/\

It was just a yesterday when I decided to actually get through with my plan to leave. I've replayed all my reasons in my head repeatedly yet somehow a part of me, still cared, still loved. Why? Why can't I let go?

My mind is contradicting with my heart. My mind tells me to move on, to forget about him and to prove that I'm as strong as I should be. My heart on the other hand begs me to reconsider, begs me to forgive him, to give him one last chance. Right now though only a small part of me believes my heart. Love only brought me suffering in my life. Such is the case of one-sided love.

My mind won. I've lost faith in my heart.

******* (normal POV)

Kagome ran from the Goshinbuku tree where she had seen Inuyasha and Kikyo sharing a tender moment. Again.

She felt the wind on her cheeks for a few minutes before stopping to rest. Why was she running? She was startled to feel something wet on her cheek. A tear? Why was she crying?

`Why am I so weak? Why do I cry so easily? And over HIM no less?

Kagome collapsed on the ground, sitting with her legs under her and her head down. `No, I do not care for him anymore. I don't love him,' she chanted again and again in her mind, trying desperately to convince herself that she was speaking the truth.

*******

A certain undead miko hid behind the shadows cast by the trees of Inuyasha's forest, directly in front of her reincarnation a few paces away. She smirked as the pieces of her plan fall into place. This was all too easy. `That miko was so easy to break,' she thought.

Kikyo's intentions were to break Kagome's spirit, since that was the most powerful source of her miko powers. Now with Kagome being confused, heartbroken and vulnerable, she would be distracted from concentrating on fighting, thus making Kikyo victorious.

Kikyo didn't care how dishonorable her actions might seem. She just wanted to humiliate and defeat Kagome and possibly destroy her in the process to claim her soul back. Then she would not be forced to steal souls all the time to sustain her body. It does get tiring after a while. Of course getting Inuyasha would be an added bonus. With Kagome gone, he would gladly come with her to hell.

*******

Kagome's eyes widened slightly as she sensed the familiar aura at the same time Kikyo emerged from the trees. Kagome did not lift her head to acknowledge the other miko though; she didn't want the last person she wanted to see her in her weak state.

Kikyo however decided to use this fact to her advantage.

"Well isn't the little miko gonna stand up?" Kikyo laughed. "Pathetic."

This caused Kagome to lift her head. Kikyo could see the sparks of anger in the other's eyes, surrounded the red puffiness of her skin from crying.

"You let a hanyou," Kagome could just about detect a hint of disguise in Kikyo's voice at the last word, "do this to you. What self respecting miko would fall in love with a demon or a half demon?"

Kikyo once again smirked at Kagome's reaction. She looked ready to kill.

"Anyway since we both want something from all this. . . let's make a deal. Winner takes all. A fight to the death."

Kagome narrowed her eyes at the other miko, her eyes glowed blue, turning her icy gaze on Kikyo and nodded. Then she said in an emotionless voice, "Agreed."

Kikyo inwardly shivered at the glare her incarnation was giving her but that didn't matter. Kagome's too weak now to hold her off.

*******

Well this chapter is slightly longer than usual (I think). I've updated this story faster but now I need to work on the others. Stupid writer's block. I never thought that I would have writer's block. I'm usually full of ideas. *Shrugs* Anyway there will be a battle between Kikyo and Kagome again in the next chapter but this time it's personal so the fight scene will be longer just so you know. And where is Inuyasha? Well he's in the next chapter too. That's all I hafta say.

Happy New Year 2004!

Fenikkusu Ice