InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Thoughts I've Hidden from You ❯ HIs Thoughts ( Chapter 1 )

Hello everyone! It's Yoake again fromYoukai_Admirers and as her own lonesome account Hanyou_Miko_Higurashi. I watched the 13th episode of Inuyasha last night and decided, what if someone wrote a fanfic about Inuboy's thoughts during the time? Well, here it is, kinda of a one shot thing. Please be kind and review, even if ya hate it. And it will skip a lot of scenes cause I'm only concenctrated on Inu and it goes from the time before he goes ningen (human), to the time in the room with the incident in Kagome's lap. *grins and thinks some very naughty things*

Inuyasha sat against the wooden post of the shrine they were sitting in, no else really knew but, he really hated shrines after the whole bein pinned to the tree incident. Slowly he could feel his strength draining away, the very thing he felt safest in being was failing him, about to leave him helpless to anything, weak even against the weakest of youkai, not that Shippou was any threat, that stupid pup wasn't even aware of any of his potential, `Dammit, the sun's about gone. And with it my strengths. Why the hell did it have to be today I gave into the stupid wench?! Fuck, next time, this ain't gonna work out like this, even if I have to drag her ass out of here.' Kagome looked over at her youkai companion and frowned, he had been acting strangely as of today and she wanted to know why and yet, she was too timid to ask, `Wait, could it be that Inuyasha's afraid of spiders? Is that why he was so agitated?' She decided to chance it and ask, "Say Inuyasha, I think I know why you didn't want to stay here tonight…" The hanyou soon to be ningen felt himself on the edge of panic, `Did Myouga tell her?! Or did she figure it out?! Dammit, if she did, she'll hate me for being weak, any other woman used to being protected would.'

Kagome looked at him sympathetically, "You're afraid of spiders, aren't you Inuyasha?" Shippou used one of his leaves and transformed into a rather retarded looking spider, "Wooo, who's afraid of the big bad spider?!" Inuyasha felt himself become both relieved and pissed off, slamming Shippou's head into the wooden floor relieved some of his anger, "I am not afraid of spiders, got it?!" He stood up and stormed outside, his rage building as was his worry about the safety of this temple, "Leave me alone, I'm sleepin outside tonight." His senses faded just as he caught the awareness of the spider youkai, `Shit, they're already here and they've got us surrounded.' Kagome was coming up behind him, Inuyasha could feel her physical body presence somehow and threw up an arm to cut her off, "I wouldn't come any closer if I were you, we're completely surrounded." He heard the slight intake of her breath and wondered why he felt so concerned, `She's gonna have to figure out some other person to help her now, I'm about screwed over.' Taking hold of Tetsusaiga, Inuyasha swung the blade out and wasn't surprised when it didn't transform as it had only a few nights before. He heard Kagome's scream of horror as he bolted forward for the spider head, "Kagome, GET OUTTA HERE, YOU TOO SHIPPOU!" "But, but Inuyasha I-" "GET GOIN!"

Kagome watched in horror as Inuyasha's body was covered by many of the silken strands of the spider heads and watched Shippou use his fox magic to get him free, one arm looping through his and she was off running, dragging him along behind her until they were a safe distance away. She panted as he jerked free and went over to sit by a tree, as she tried to help him from the heavy silk his guard completely went up, "What is with you already?! You've been acting weird all night" Shippou let out a yell of shock, "His hair's black!" Sure enough, the silver hair that Kagome was secretly fond of was the same shade as her own. He glared at all of them through his own grey-blue eyes, the demon slit still visible but otherwise, he was about as human looking as she was, "If you lot think I'm able to fend for you, get a fuckin clue. Not tonight, you're all on your own." The flea youkai hopped up and down angrily on Inuyasha's shoulder, "Inuyasha-sama! You couldn't even trust me with your secret!" Inuyasha pointed a finger at the tiny youkai and shot back a retort of his own, "Yeah right, if I had told you then I'd have been abandoned by the likes of you!" He was about to continue to vent his anger at the flea when Kagome's voice broke through, her tone filled with hurt, regret, anger and worst of all, a sense of her own failure, "So you couldn't trust me either? I've never run from any battle concerning you before and yet-" Inuyasha glared at her, `Why hasn't she taken off yet?! She's only gonna get killed and then what will I do? No, what will I do about the Shikon no Kakera, not about her, I don't care about her. Then, why am I so worried right now?!' "I don't trust no one! It's the way I've been able to live this fucking long and I'm fine with it! You have no reason to bitch about it!"

Kagome's head lowered, her eyes hidden by her thick hair as she looked away from him, Inuyasha could still hear the guilt and the hurt in her voice, "So that's it then, because you're afraid I'll betray your secret and kill you somehow… that's why you never liked me or trusted me… I, I thought we were becoming at least, a little closer…" Inuyasha saw the first drop of water fall from her eyes and felt himself panic, "H-hey! I'm the one who's supposed to be down and depressed, why're you?" He just couldn't believe how weird this woman was, `I'm the one whose pretty much fucked and yet, she's actin like it's her fault I was born like this and it happened now! Why can't I figure her out?!' Kagome whirled on him, her index finger in his face, "And thanks to your paranoia, we're in this predicament you dough head!" His shock was clear before anger took over, a less complex emotion that he could deal well with, "You're the dough head!"

Kagome had begun to fret wildly, fearing for some stupid reason she couldn't figure out that the brave and yet stupid hanyou she had grown fond of wasn't coming back. She left the safety of where she was and ran for the area Inuyasha had gone, her heart pounding painfully in worry, `If he's dead or dying, it'll be my fault for not going with him, Kagome, move it!!' The sight she found brought tears of horror and instant guilt and pain to her eyes, `I'm too late!' As Shippou told her what had just happened, her eyes met the dull, nearly lifeless ones of the human boy, "Inuyasha…." The young man hanging helplessly felt himself dying slowly and, felt the fear and worry multiply intensely as he saw Kagome find him and Shippou, `What? Kagome… baka onna, get outta here, it's too late for me. Are… are those tears that she's beginning to cry? But, for me…?' Kagome scrambled towards the trapped Inuyasha, her heart constricting painfully, "Hold on Inuyasha! I'm coming to get you down!" Inuyasha watched her with glazed over eyes, "Don't… escape…. While… you're able…to… forget me…"

Kagome shook her head and jumped for him, "No, I'm NOT LEAVING WITHOUT YOU!" Her tears flowed through the air around her and mingled with the dark raven tresses of her hair as she swung Tetsusaiga into the webs that bound her friend. Inuyasha's eyes widened slightly, `Why are you, for a guy like me Kagome? What have I ever done to, be worthy of such an emotion?' He hit the ground and felt himself slip into a peaceful darkness as Kagome landed next to him, `Shippou, Myouga, get Kagome outta here before that damned priest gets her too, one soul on mine is too much, I couldn't bear another one.'

Kagome watched tearfully as Myouga sucked the poison from Inuyasha's body and roll away, almost as large as Shippou. She held his hand and saw the sweat begin pour from his forehead from the fever that was beginning to set in. Undoing the tie to her uniform, Kagome gently wiped away the flecks of blood around his mouth and began to clear the sweat from his face, `I'm so sorry Inuyasha, if it wasn't for me you'd never have to…' Her eyes widened as his opened and found her face immediately, some unknown emotion coming into his eyes before he turned his face away from her, "Gomen, did I…wake you up?" A slight shake of his head answered her, followed up by a softly spoken question, "Kagome, back there, when I was caught… Why, for a guy like me, why were you…crying?" `What I'd like to know is, how for a guy like me but, no way in hell will I ask that. She treated me, almost like I'm a real person she cares for but, that's impossible…right?' She replied after a while, her tie still clearing away the sweat that clung and rolled down his face, "Because I, I was afraid that you…… that you weren't going to wake up. I was afraid you were going to die."

Inuyasha closed his eyes so Kagome wouldn't see the confusion and, the sudden realization he was trying to kill, `She did it for me because she feared for my life, feared that I'd die and I'd leave her. But, she never has called me worthless, stubborn and stupid maybe but, never anything cruel like I'm used to. She's truly someone, I need to stay by closely to protect.' His eyes opened and still faced away from her, his voice came out a little hesitantly, "Kagome? Would you, if it's alright with you, would you lend me your lap?" `Maybe being closer to her can calm this shaking inside down.' Kagome felt her face flame up a bright red and nodded, "OK" She helped him on to her lap, "Is, is that better?" He nodded drowsily, "Yeah……" `She…does smell very nice. Such a warm scent and comfort…' Kagome looked at him tenderly, "Are you ok?" Inuyasha's eyes closed as he prepared to rest, `I'm always alright when your scent is around, I'll never say so but, it's true……' "Kagome, you smell kinda nice…" Her eyes widened dramatically, "What?! You always said my scent made you retch and I stank!" `Why-why is he saying these things?! My heart, it's pounding so fast!' A small unvisible smile crossed his face as he settled against her warm body and turned his head a little closer towards her, `Kinda cute, how she believes everything she hears from me…' "I was lying…."

*Smiles to herself and wipes away tears* Ahh, too cute for words, I hope everyone likes it. I guessed at his thoughts but, I'll bet the outside is rougher than his thoughts. Please review for me!