InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Three Years ❯ Three Years ( One-Shot )

A/N: My very first Inuyasha fanfic! Please be gentle…

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha and company. I do own my cat. Or she owns me. I can't quite figure it out.

 

Three Years

 

I stare at the well, tears making it one brown blob in the semi-darkness of the shed. The familiar magic that had always resonated at the fringe of my senses since my first trip through it was now silent. I grip the wood frame of the door, then with a sob I run down the steps and throw myself over the edge, praying to the kamis, hoping against hope…

 

I land at the bottom with a solid thud, nearly twisting my ankle in the process. No warm blue light, no sense of falling through endless space…only the hard packed dark dirt that has been here since the ancient well was enclosed.

 

My hands dig into that dirt as my shoulders shake. I've been crying since yesterday, and I wonder when the tears will run out. I cry out to the well, to the kamis, to please let me through, to please take me back to him…

 

But nothing happens, of course. And deep down, I had already known it would be that way.

 

~

 

A week has passed. I can't help but go to the well every day when I get up, and again before bed. I don't want to miss it if the well suddenly decides to reopen. My gut tells me it's not going to, but just in case, I have to check.

 

Mom has been very understanding. She let me stay home from school this week, and I'm very thankful. I cry at the drop of a hat, and I really didn't feel like dealing with the curious stares of classmates. But I know she's worried about me, so I've got to pull myself together, for her, and Souta, and Grandfather, if nothing else. If mom can survive losing her husband, I can…I can survive this.

 

~

 

A month has gone by. I still go to the well every day, I can't help it. I think of him, and of the others of course, but mostly him, all of the time. It's hard to concentrate at school. I catch myself watching the clock, worrying about having enough time to buy supplies and get packed before he comes looking for me…and then it's like a punch in my gut when I realize it's over…he can't come for me ever again.

 

~

 

I can't believe a full year has gone by. Somehow I made it through school, and even pulled out fairly decent grades, even in math. And I did something I never thought I'd be able to do - I put my foot down with Eri, Yuki, and Ayumi.

 

In the beginning I simply told them that I was in love with Inuyasha but we couldn't be together anymore, and I begged them to let me be and not fix me up with anyone, including Hojo. That worked for a while, but eventually they started nagging me to start dating, and they had no lack of suggestions of who they thought I should date. I finally got mad enough to tell them to back off, that I would start dating when I felt damn good and ready, and not before, and to let me handle things at my own pace.

 

Quite honestly, I shocked myself, not to mention the girls. And of course, once I calmed down, I apologized. But I think it made them listen to me for once, instead of thinking that they knew what was best for me. I appreciate their concerns, and I told them so, but I didn't appreciate their methods…and that finally got their attention.

 

Sango would be proud of me for growing some backbone. I wonder if she and Miroku got married. I wonder what Shippo is doing. I bet he's still annoying the heck out of Inuyasha if he can.

 

Inuyasha….

 

I visit the well every day, still. But I've quit trying to jump in. I know it's useless. The well is closed, and I've got to move on with my life.

 

But I can't. Not completely. I love him still, with all of my heart. And I miss him so much.

 

~

 

Wow. Two years. I only have one year of school left. I actually made good marks this year, and I know Momma and Grandfather are proud of me. I've tried to take on more responsibilities at home, cooking and cleaning and so forth. And I've tried to be more patient with Grandfather when he starts one of his stories. I found that once I started taking his stories more seriously, he actually had some very good stories to tell.

 

I've been busy this past year. I started writing everything down, with as much detail as I can remember. I don't want to ever forget the adventures we had, or even the hardships or battles. I want to always remember how Sango was the sister I never had, how Miroku's lechery seemed to be more and more centered on Sango as time went by, how Shippo cuddled up to sleep with me so many times, how Kirara could go from tiny and cuddly to massive and fierce in the blink of an eye.

 

And Inuyasha. I never want to forget the red of his fire-rat, or the amber of his eyes, or the silky silver of his hair. I never want to forget the way his ears would twitch or lie flat with his mood, or how they swiveled when searching for danger. I never want to forget the way he would call me `wench' or even `bitch'. Who knows, coming from him, that may have been a compliment and I never even knew it.

 

I never want to forget how it felt to be in his arms…

 

~

 

Six months until graduation. Everyone keeps pestering me, wanting to know what my plans are, which university I'm going to.

 

I've tried to look at brochures from different universities. I've tried to look into this career and that career. Nothing interests me.

 

I spill my frustrations to the empty well, as has been my habit for two and a half years now. I lieu of having Inuyasha, or even Sango or Miroku or Kaede to talk to, I talk to the well…much like someone talks to the grave of a deceased loved one, I guess. But I refuse to see it that way. Those that I love in the past are not dead, not to me, only separated from me by five hundred years…

 

The magic is still here. I grip the wooden rim and reach out with my senses…and I am sure of it. It is dormant, but it is here. A sudden burst of hope rips through me, shaking me with its intensity. Dare I believe that it might be possible? I feel my own power gathering inside me in response.

 

But what about Momma? And Souta, and Grandfather? Slowly, regretfully, I release my grip on the well and back away. For all that it might be possible…

 

I am not ready.

 

~

 

I am finally a high school graduate. Grandfather actually had tears in his eyes when he congratulated me after the ceremony. Momma did too, of course, while Souta only wanted to know when we would be able to go home.

 

I celebrated with my friends that day, and it was a bittersweet feeling to find that I would truly miss many of them. Nearly all of them were attending one university or another; some were even going abroad to attend universities in Europe or the United States. A couple of girls were actually getting married, but I have a sneaking suspicion that one of them was pregnant.

 

Mom fixed some of my favorite foods and over the next few days, I spent as much time with her as I could. I wonder if perhaps she sensed my intent, because we spent a lot of the time reminiscing. She told me stories of dad that I had forgotten. We laughed over baby pictures of me and Souta, and then she surprised me by giving me a small photo album, full of pictures of all of us through the years. I cried, she cried, but neither of us spoke of the future.

 

This morning, when I awoke, I knew. I took my time with everything, and as I look back now, I realize that I was saying goodbye. Not just to my childhood, but to everything…especially my family.

 

The hum of magic draws me to the shed, the light from the open door illuminating the ancient well. Everything looks the same, until I look down the shaft…and see blue sky instead of brown dirt.

 

And I know….it is time.

 

I can only guess as to why the well stayed closed for three years. Perhaps it realized what I didn't at the time…I wasn't ready to leave my family. I wasn't ready for the responsibilities and hardships I would face. I wasn't ready for the type of relationship that awaited me.

 

But I am ready now. I know this just like I know that he will be waiting, when I get there. A tremor goes through me, a mix of fear and anticipation that makes my stomach flutter.

 

A hand touches my shoulder; it's Momma. I don't know why I'm surprised. She looks at me with love and understanding, and with sorrow. She doesn't want to let me go, but she knows my heart has always belonged to an inu-hanyou with amber eyes and silver hair. She asks me if I'm sure. There's no hesitancy, no doubt in me. I am sure. She tears up, and so do I. We hug, each knowing that it will probably be the last time we will see each other. She hands me the album and we embrace again.

 

I'm struck with the sudden longing to see Souta and Grandfather one more time, but I'm afraid of missing this opportunity. Momma senses this, and assures me that they will understand. She wipes my tears, smiles through her own, and gives me her blessing. Along with a request for a dozen cute little puppy-eared grandchildren. The fact that she will never see them remains unspoken.

 

I take a deep breath; it's now or never. Giving my mother one last hug, I sit on the edge and swing my legs over…and I jump…into the past, into my future.