InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Through A Lover's Eyes ❯ I'll Always Be Here, Touching Your Bum ( Chapter 3 )

Through A Lover's Eyes

 

 

Disclaimer: Isn't it funny how someone can be your whole entire universe but they don't know it? It's kinda like that with me and Inuyasha. I don't own him but he sure is my universe.

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---I'll Always Be Here…Touching Your Bum---

 

What is love?

 

I have never actually given much thought to love throughout my entire life. Though I do have thoughts of making love, if you know what I mean.

 

People like to call me perverted, but I think of myself as more of a sensual person. Just… physically sensual.

 

But it's not my fault, since this 'sensualness' has been passed on from generations to generations throughout my family. Sadly, that's not the only thing I got from my family.

 

Looking down at my right hand, I felt the familiar fear and somberness creeping out from inside of me. I should be used to it by now, since it's been with me ever since I was born.

 

You see, I was born with a hole and it lives on the palm of my right hand. It's a vicious wind tunnel that sucks up everything in its path. The only thing that prevents it from opening is this magic bead bracelet I wrap around my arm with. But that won't stop it from sucking me in.

 

One of these days, this hole will get so large and vicious, that it will sooner or later devour me in as well. There will be no more me on this Earth. I will disappear into absolute nothing, as if I was never born.

 

That's one of the reasons why I'm so eager to make love. I need a woman to carry on my family's bloodline before anything happens to me. (And to get some of that physical sensualness.)

 

That is why I ask every woman I meet to bear me a child. Of course, I make it sound fun and all that, asking woman to make love to me. But deep down, it's a very serious question and I need a woman who's good enough to take on that role.

 

So far, no woman has said yes.

 

This is a good thing because I've already got someone in mind.

 

Sango.

 

Even though I've yet to ask her the question, I know deep down that I'm waiting to ask her and waiting for her to say yes.

 

I can feel there's a connection between us and it's not a normal friendship connection either. I know something more than that is developing. There were a few times when we've spent alone time together and I can feel strong feelings between us.

 

I'm not absolutely sure whether or not Sango has the same strong feeling for me as I have for her. But I know for sure that I am in love with Sango.

 

Over the past few years, I've come to know Sango almost inside and out (getting to touch her bum so often). Spending time with her everyday has shown me that she's a very gentle and caring person, even though she's got such a tough attitude. Even after suffering so much, she's still so strong. She's a very independent woman and has a very determined soul. Her spirit is alive and strong willed.

 

Though there are times when I've seen Sango break down in pain. I know she's actually broken inside, having her little brother and village torn away from her. I know she's suffering terribly and I feel so useless not able to do anything about it.

 

I want to hold her in my arms and make everything disappear for her. I want to bring joy into her life so that she doesn't need to spend another day with sadness in her heart. I want everything to be perfect for her because I love her.

 

I love everything about her. I love her smile, her laughter, the way she talks, the way she holds herself up and every little thing she does. I love her spirit, her soul, her mind and yes, her body. But even more important than those things, is that I love her heart. I love that sweet, caring, understanding heart of hers. Her gentleness with everyone she cares about and her compassion for others. She's just amazing.

 

And that's exactly what I need in my life.

 

I need someone who'll be there for me whenever I'm down. I want someone who can give life and spirit to me when I feel my life slipping out of my hand. I want a woman who can look out for herself but still need a man to support her at times. I want someone who can lift my spirit up with a single word or smile. I want her.

 

I need Sango.

 

But I know I can't have her. I want to though, but I can't.

 

As long as I still have this empty hole in my hand, I'll have to live with the emptiness in my heart. I know I can't have anyone truly special in my life yet because I don't want to hurt them. Especially if that special someone is Sango.

 

If I were to hurt Sango in anyway, I would rather spend the rest of my life alone, without her. As much as it pains me to say and to think about it, I would rather Sango go with someone else than to be left behind by me.

 

I won't be able to move our relationship any further; we can only stay as friends. And I'll have to keep my love for her to myself, no matter how much my love for her grows everyday. But I'll always be there, a shoulder for her to lean on.

 

So for the time being, until the curse is lifted off my hand and I'm able to bring Sango into my life, I'll stay as the perverted monk everyone loves.

 

Until then, all I can do is to wait because to me…

 

Love is time.

 

>->->->->-<-<-<-<-<

 

Love lesson: True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.

 

>->->->->-<-<-<-<-<

 

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