InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ To Be Cursed ❯ Chapter Eight ( Chapter 8 )

~*~

 

A small head of raven hair peeked in through a heavy wooden door, bright cinnamon eyes scanning the room for her lord and savior. The rustling of papers grabbed her attention and her eyes flitted to the desk situated off to the side of the room. Rin's eyes saddened a little, seeing her father figure sitting there behind that large desk, rifling through scrolls and signing missives. Anyone else that had looked upon the Great Dog Demon would have seen nothing short of a studious and attentive lord; however, Rin was not anyone else.

 

Although his face remained placid and unchanging, Rin could always see loneliness in the depths of his golden gaze. Not much was known to her about the lord's past but she could see well enough his future. She saw every time she would catch his eyes. He was incredibly lonely and felt secluded from everything. Of course, most of the time he played it off as if he wanted it as such; that he needed no one and nothing from anyone else.

 

But she could see it. Not always was it strong or even just loneliness. Sometimes, he looked lost, like he couldn't find his way home. Other times, it would just seem as if he was wallowing in despair. Rin might have been young still but she had grown to know the one that so many feared and she was probably the only one that would ever know what he feared.

 

Rin knew.

 

Sesshoumaru saw the world in shades of gray, she thought. As if nothing really mattered because there would never be another color to paint anything in. He contented himself with ruling his lands and he picked fights with his half-brother just to have contact with something other than four walls. He feared living his life alone and then fading away and becoming nondescript because there was never anyone to care about him.

 

She had to suppress a smile.

 

Yes, he knew that Rin cared and that AhUn and even Jaken cared. But he wanted something more. He wanted to be loved. Of course Rin knew that he would never admit to such a folly. After all, he proclaimed to all that love was a weakness; an emotion perpetuated by the pathetic race of humans. She knew better though. On more than one occasion she had caught a glimmer of longing flash across his eyes when he would inconspicuously watch Kagome-chan interact with her companions.

 

A small smile managed to curl her lips at the thought. Even if he would never in a million years admit it, Rin knew that Sesshoumaru was taken with the young miko. Not that it was hard to understand why. Kagome had a way of making everyone she every came in contact with feel special; like they were the only person in the world that mattered. Even though she was technically still a child, Rin knew that sometimes, Sesshoumaru wanted to be in the same space as one who got to bask in the priestess' light.

 

It was all of this that was actually the reason behind her seeking him out. Rin had wanted to visit Kagome again ever since she had come to save her and Jaken from the demon to thank her but she also knew it would do Sesshoumaru good to see her again. Every time they would cross paths with Kagome and her friends, Sesshoumaru would seem a little warmer for the rest of the day. Oh, she knew it wasn't anything as strong as love but she thought it border lined on affection maybe…

 

Not that it really mattered because he still needed it.

 

“Lord Sesshoumaru?” She finally spoke, causing him to look up at her. She was sure he had known she was there the entire time anyway.

 

The Demon Lord raised an eyebrow. “Hai Rin?”

 

“Do you think that maybe we could visit Kagome-chan?” Her voice was sweet and hopeful, even though she knew her father figure would never let her down if he could help it. Too many had the times been where she had nearly called him father.

 

Inwardly, he sighed. He had known Rin was standing just inside his study for some time and had easily picked up on the changes in her emotions. Actually, he was rather impressed that so much time had passed since that incident without her asking to visit the miko. Yes, he had given Kagome a `thank you' in the form of some jewel shards…well, okay…he had actually sent a missive throughout his territories that any demon holding a Shikon fragment would turn it over to him or personally meet his claws. Ah, the wonders of telepathy.

 

At any rate, he supposed that even though Rin knew Kagome had already received a show of gratitude from him that she would want to do something herself. Besides that, Sesshoumaru was more than aware of how much his ward adored the priestess.

 

An almost smile threatened to touch his lips then. Adored was a rather light term for how Rin thought of the miko. In fact, Sesshoumaru was sure the child was beginning to idolize her. Although, he mused to himself as he studied said child carefully, I can't necessarily say it is a bad thing. That miko has done more good for Rin then anyone I have at the castle.

 

Absentmindedly, he gave a curt nod of his head to his ward that was watching him intently and waiting for an answer to her question. “Perhaps tomorrow Rin. It is drawing late now.”

 

The girl nodded with a grin and whispered a quiet `thank you' before turning and walking out, shutting the door behind her with a soft `click'.

 

Sesshoumaru sighed when Rin was away from the door and slumped down in his chair. Although he really had no reason to tell his ward they couldn't visit the miko, he wasn't sure he wanted to. The girl was far too intriguing for his own good and Rin was far too attached to her. He was sure the two females would be inseparable for the duration of the stopover with his half-brothers pack.

 

A low growl of displeasure threatened to loosen from his throat while finely chiseled lips pulled back in a silent snarl. Just the thought of the hanyou irritated him nowadays. He didn't truly hate Inuyasha - hate was a strong word saved for…things…such as Naraku - but he sure as hell despised him. Contrary to popular belief, the reason for his loathsome feelings weren't because he was a half-demon anymore.

 

Truth be told, he wasn't sure it ever had been.

 

There were times when he would remember being far younger and playing with the tiny pup, laughing and running away from him even though Sesshoumaru could catch him before he could say `go'. He had been angry at Inuyasha when he had been drawn into battle over their father's lands and the whelp was unable to fight for his birthright because he had been stupid enough to fall prey to a trap and get himself sealed in slumber to the Tree of Ages.

 

No…the feeling of detest for his younger sibling had come into effect shortly after seeing the way he treated the miko, surprising as that may be…even to himself. Now the emotions that were pinned to Inuyasha were doubling in force.

 

All because his damned curiosity refused to be satiated.

 

Yes, he had left the miko and her companions that day but only long enough to once more check upon his entourage. Then he had returned in the blink of an eye, only to come upon a conversation and his brother nowhere in sight. As he shifted his position from the ground up into a nearby tree soundlessly, his pointed ears easily picked up the excitement and genuine gratitude the miko had in her voice over his version of a thank you.

 

Then, he had heard the conversation shift - as well as the auras of those partaking in it - and the tang of salt water assailed his nose. Sesshoumaru had listened intently to Kagome, the bitter sorrow in her voice palatable, and could feel the emotions that radiated from her as the nuances in her answers wavered.

 

Kami but he had wanted to hunt his brother down and beat him for acting the way he had to the soft-hearted female…which was something he didn't fully understand. He did, in all technicality, owe the miko a debt for saving and protecting those under his care when he was unable, so he was willing to blame his errant emotions on that.

 

It was something that was supposed to be adhered to after all.

 

However, Sesshoumaru had never seen the use of lies and would not resort to such…even to himself. He well knew that it wasn't just a debt that made him want to hurt the hanyou…

 

Actually, were he completely honest with himself, the Taiyoukai knew it was because the girl was special and so much more unique than any other creature he had ever met. Even though it was obvious that she felt deep pain from Inuyasha's actions, she couldn't bring herself to hate him for what he did to her. The miko couldn't even stand to not forgive the whelp because it wasn't in her heart to hold against him his traitorous actions. Sesshoumaru wasn't sure if Kagome could ever truly hate anyone -save for Naraku - and he had been witness to the amazing feats her enormous heart and gentle nature could accomplish.

 

How the hanyou could even begin to chose to spend his time with the shell of his former miko lover when the priestess from the future was such a better option was beyond him. He had come to the realization that Kagome would make a wonderful mate and mother a few years past and had even been tormented a time or two by slips of dreams that featured the raven-haired beauty by his side.

 

And yes it was indeed torment for the Taiyoukai. Not for the fact that she was human either; he had never really hated humans and everything about the miko made him confident in his decision to not despise them as he had so wanted. No, the Demon Lord felt such torture at his errant dreamscapes because of the simple fact that he knew how much Kagome loved Inuyasha. Even through everything the half-breed had put her through, she remained loyal to him.

 

Upon their last encounter, however, Sesshoumaru had a moment of insight that caused a very unusual feeling to swell in the region of his heart.

 

It hadn't been hard to see the rift that had come between the hanyou and the miko, and Sesshoumaru was certain it was due to the mutt's inability to make a choice between the two women. For as long as he had known the woman, Kagome had always held an inextinguishable fire in her eyes and a passion to her soul that had rivaled any other being he had ever met, male or female, youkai or ningen. She had been born to heal the hearts and souls of others and did so willingly, without ever making a request for herself.

 

Except for the love of one ungrateful - and obviously blind - hanyou.

 

A rather minute demand in the face of it all and even that had been denied to her. Inuyasha's rejection of the gentle miko's heart was taking its toll on her. He had even managed to convince the woman that she was completely undeserving of love.

 

Her heart was slowly becoming cold to everything and her soul was steadily dying.

 

Sesshoumaru found himself disturbed by the idea of Kagome coming to resemble the one she was supposed to be reincarnated from. She was nothing like the cold, heartless, detached golem of the resurrected miko. She was made for great things and was never intended to be destroyed in the manner that was slowly eating her away.

 

The inu lord gave into a low growl at the entire situation. He wasn't supposed to care what happened to the female; she was supposed to remain inconsequential. Yes, she was the key to defeating Naraku and yes, she was a unique individual…but he wasn't supposed to become involved with her past the defeat of the vile hanyou.

 

And she…

 

…she wasn't supposed to be able to pick and tear and the barriers he had so studiously built around his heart.

 

A heavy-hearted sigh tailed the previous growl as Sesshoumaru stood from his desk and made his way to his chambers. Damn the miko and her tender heart! Kagome was steadfastly wearing down his iron will to keep everyone at arms length for he found himself wanting nothing more than to crush her small body to his and sooth away the ache left in her heart by his half-brothers' betrayal.

 

He had mechanically removed his armor, swords and silks to don a dark blue pair of silken sleeping pants. Dark blue like the color of a certain priestess' eyes, he mused. With yet another uncharacteristic sigh, the Taiyoukai of the Western Lands settled himself within the sheets of his bed to await the dreams of said priestess that were sure to invade his sleep.

 

~*~

 

Silence reigned supreme in the hut of the elder miko. The hanyou's golden orbs stared down his companions, daring them to challenge his word. His companions wore looks of anger and shock, sorrow and confusion while their gazes shifted between Inuyasha and Kikyou and the still quiet and unresponsive Kagome.

 

The atmosphere was rigid and tense with anticipation and everyone was watching Kagome in apprehension while she continued slipping morsels of stew past her soft lips. Her head was cast down as if intently studying her food as she ate, her hands never shaking as they lifted the chopsticks repeatedly. Inuyasha's amber eyes were trained on her, waiting for the scent of tears to invade his olfactory and his furry ears twitched and swiveled for a quiet sob or the utterance of the subduing command.

 

Still she sat.

 

Only the sound of chopsticks grazing the side of a wooden bowl occasionally projected through the air until soon, they dropped into the dish with a clatter. Kagome handed the eating utensils back to the old miko with a small smile.

 

“Thank you Kaede. It was delicious as always.” Her voice, though soft and melodious, echoed off the walls in the now cramped hut and caused everyone to jump slightly in their seats.

 

Gracefully, she lifted her self from the floor, the folds of her deep purple kimono falling around her feet in a rustle of silk. Small, dainty hands lined with calluses from swordplay smoothed out the faint wrinkles in the delicate cloth before she lifted her head and addressed the hanyou and undead miko.

 

“Hello Inuyasha, Kikyou.” A sad smile curled her lips briefly before she took tentative steps toward the doorway of the hut.

 

“Kagome?” Sango said, watching her dearest friend in confusion. All present had expected fireworks. Instead, all the miko provided were softly spoken words and sad smiles. When her sister turned to regard her in answer to her name, Sango bit her bottom lip to keep from gasping at the flicker of intense pain that flashed through Kagome's eyes, washing them to nearly pitch black; before it was gone leaving only wounded stoicism.

 

The Taijiya shifted in her seat, deeply disturbed by the sudden frigidity of her normally warm friend. Locking her mahogany eyes with Kagome's deep blue ones, she spoke hesitantly. “Where are you going? It's going to be getting late soon.”

 

Another painfully sad smile tilted the gentle miko's lips and Sango felt her heart clench. Her immediate thought was that it was too late to save her; Kagome's soul was dimming and her heart was fading into obscurity.

 

“I'll be fine Sango. It's just that I always bring you guys things from my time and I thought I would go see if I could find something to bring my family the next time I go home before everyone closes shop.” That said, she turned to continue her trek out the door and was stopped again, this time by Shippou.

 

“Do you want some company momma? I could come with you.” His brilliant green eyes were wide and hopeful, the kit wanting nothing more than to do everything he could to bring the warmth back into her smile.

 

Midnight blue eyes smiled down at the sweet fox even as she declined, “You go ahead and stay here sweetie. You need to finish eating. After I am done with my `shopping' I am going to do my nightly routine and then I'll be back. If you want to wait up for me, maybe we can make smores.”

 

A bright grin immediately crawled across the kitsune's cherubic face, “Alright momma! Be careful.”

 

Grabbing up her bow, quiver and backpack and slipping her sword into her obi, Kagome left her companions staring after her in shock.

 

~*~

 

Nearly an hour later found Kagome at the nearest river, the treasures for her family tied up in a neat silken bundle placed against a tree alongside her weapons as she stripped off her fighting kimono and slipped into the water. Quickly scrubbing her skin free of the light sheen of sweat that had accumulated during her training, Kagome let a sigh escape her lips.

 

Now that Inuyasha had invited Kikyou to join - even though he said she was there as back-up for when Kagome went home - the young miko wondered if she even had a reason to remain. Although she had been training daily and pushing her body farther than she ever had, she was still unsure if she even came close to the undead miko's battle prowess. Of course, Kagome had never seen anything overtly spectacular in Kikyou's fighting tactics - as she seemed to prefer firing arrows from well outside the fray - there was still the fact that Inuyasha claimed her to be a fierce warrior.

 

As she lifted her body from the water to dry and dress, Kagome felt the tell-tale symptoms of depression settling in her soul. It had been more than obvious that her companions had expected her to lash out in some way at the hanyou's proclamation but she had found herself oddly numb. The normal pain of her heart twisting in her chest had been dulled to an aching pressure and Kagome vaguely wondered if she was simply dying inside.

 

Another sorrow-filled sigh escaped her petal-soft lips as she settled down amidst her belongings to await the late Inu no Taisho. The sun was just setting over the land, casting the world of Feudal Japan in beautiful shades of gold, pink and blue. Pale lids slid closed over troubled midnight depths as the futuristic miko tried to calm the aching in her soul.

 

A presence was slowly making itself known and Kagome knew that the late Taiyoukai was in attendance. She had hoped to be a bit calmer before facing him again; she hadn't wanted Sugimi to feel bad anymore than he already did, though she was sure he already knew of his youngest sons' newest decision.

 

Slowly, Kagome's sorrow and fatigue laden eyelids opened, revealing eyes that had turned a near black color in her grief. Instantly, they caught on the breathtaking vision of the deceased inu lord. Even as a specter, he was insanely beautiful and Kagome suddenly felt unworthy to even be around him, dead or living.

 

“Good evening my dear.” The deep bass voice wrapped around her like a balm to her tortured soul and Kagome felt tears prick at her eyes. How badly she just wanted to listen to him speak as she curled into a tight ball to fade into nothingness.

 

Lowering her eyes from the brightly burning suns of the dog demon, the miko spoke, and her voice was naught but a tormented whisper on the breeze. “Good evening milord.”

 

Once more he startled her by placing a strong yet gentle claw-tipped finger under her chin to raise her eyes to meet his. He had been alarmed at the veil that seemed to envelope the normally fiery young miko in sorrow and anguish and as he gazed into her blackened eyes, he felt his breath catch in his throat. Sugimi could almost see her very soul withering away and he inwardly cursed his son for his stupidity.

 

Taking in a deep breath and smelling the taint of salt that wafted from the miko, he knelt down in front of her, his hand moving from her chin to cup her cheek. She leaned into the gentle touch and her eyes screwed tightly closed, a rogue tear or two escaping the prison of her eyelids to linger on sooty lashes before trailing down porcelain cheeks. Kagome knew it was inappropriate to act so familiarly with a demon lord, deceased or not, but she couldn't help the reaction to his touch.

 

It had been so very long since she had felt the comforting contact of anyone and she wanted to enjoy it as long as he would provide it. The apparition of the great dog demon made her feel safe and cared for in a way that both soothed her soul and tore at her heart. How she longed to be able to feel so comforted by someone in the living realm, for she was sure she wouldn't see him again. Or if she did, it would be in passing as his last visit was.

 

The thought caused her heart to lurch into her throat.

 

Why did it have to be so that the one being who had offered her some semblance of simple comfort and caring was no longer living? Would things have been different had they chanced a meeting when he still walked the Earth in all his regal glory?

 

“Kagome,” Sugimi spoke quietly as he wiped the tears from her cheeks with tender hands, “why do you hurt so? Is it because of the undead miko joining your ranks?”

 

She trembled under his touch and more tears broke their levies to burn paths of sorrow down her flushed cheeks. Drawing in a shaky breath, Kagome choked down the sobs and opened tear-filled blue-black eyes to lock with burnished gold.

 

“That's part of it.” She sighed heavily as the last vestiges of saline slithered down her cheeks to splatter against her folded hands. “I just…is there even a reason for me to continue this quest? Now that Kikyou is here I have no purpose with the group. And it hurts to be around her.”

 

A knowing look entered the late Taiyoukai's eyes as he stared into her pain filled orbs. “Even if you feel you have no purpose in your current entourage does not mean you have no purpose in this era. The path Inuyasha walks with the dead priestess is a dark one and I doubt that you would escape to your time and leave the lives of your friends in her hands. You are much too caring and self-sacrificing for that, even if it would benefit you.”

 

Bitter laughter escaped rosy lips as a sardonic smile crossed her features. “I can't deny that. I won't leave Miroku's fate in the hands of her. She would sooner see him dead than assure that he be the first since his grandfather to live to a ripe old age.”

 

The pale, chiseled lips of the dog demon before her tilted down in a frown. “What do you mean when saying that it hurts to be around the resurrected miko? The obvious heartache isn't what you speak of.”

 

Grief blackened orbs lightened to a haunting sky blue color before Sugimi's very eyes and he bit back a gasp of shock at the sight. Her voice was a reverent whisper when she spoke next, her words so soft were he not youkai he would never have heard her. “It hurts more when I am close to her. She is trying to take the rest of my soul and it gets even worse for a few days a month, regardless of her proximity to me. I fear that she might wait until a time when I am weakened to steal what remains.”

 

Anger, white-hot and raging flowed throughout the inuyoukai's being. Not only was the corpse attempting to take the girls soul his daft son was actually admitting the golem safe trespass into his group! The fingers of the hand not still cradling the miko's cheek twitched with the desire to claw and tear at anything he could sink them into.

 

Kagome could sense his rising anger and although he most likely wouldn't remain in her realm long enough to even make an attempt at bloodshed, she didn't like seeing him that way and thought to distract him.

 

“I have an answer to your request,” she said timidly, projecting an outward calm from her aura to wrap around the distraught youkai.

 

Visibly he settled down and his eyes went from murderous to anxious. She could easily read the emotions in those twin suns and she knew he was expecting her to turn him down.

 

Apparently, he didn't really know her that well.

 

Giving the great demon a small, but warm, smile Kagome lifted one of her hands from her lap to lay gently over the much larger one against her cheek. “I thought about it for a long time…and I have decided to help Sesshoumaru.”

 

He smiled then, a warm and happy wash of emotion flooding his eyes. “What made you decide to do it?”

 

The miko's stormy eyes settled into a deep sapphire, sparkling like twin jewels in the moonlight and an affection smile curled her soft lips. “Well, you said you've been keeping an eye out on everything, so you know what happened with me and Sesshoumaru a week or so ago.” At his nod she continued the sorrow in her voice lifting. “He…I…it's just that I never thought I'd see the day where he would make any kind of show of gratitude. He always seemed to cold and distant…untouchable.”

 

Sugimi merely smiled and nodded, indicating for her to continue. He knew there was more to it than that.

 

“And…and there's Shippou. Really, my mind so badly wanted me to turn you away; to tell you I wouldn't do it because I value my life. Unfortunately, my heart didn't agree. And every time I would watch Shippou playing, I could put myself in your situation. I love that little fox so, so much…and I don't know if I would be able to stand being in your position, if the one I needed to help protect my little boy refused.” Her face lifted to the sky, stars reflecting beautifully in the midnight depths of her eyes and moonlight catching on the tears that spotted her lashes.

 

“Even if it will cost me my life, I'll do whatever I can to help Sesshoumaru. For you, for him, for Rin…for Shippou. Maybe if I keep doing all I can to help others, they can live a happy life. That's all I really want anymore…all I really wanted to begin with and all I ever asked for.” Kagome's head lowered, raven fringes of hair falling across her eyes as the scent of tears increased.

 

“I was a fool,” she whispered against the night, the goings on of earlier flashing through her mind once more. “The only thing I ever really wanted was to be loved. Ever since this whole mess with the jewel started all those years ago, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. Demons aren't a known presence in my time and I am not from this time. I don't belong in either world anymore…”

 

Before Kagome was aware of him even moving, she was wrapped up in the warm safety of the dog demon's arms. She froze at first, her body tensing at the unfamiliar action, before her heart gave in to the feeling of comfort. Her small form sagged against him as her strong arms wrapped around his waist, gripping the soft material of his silken kimono in her deft fingers like a lifeline. The tears started slowly and silently, but soon she had her face buried against his shoulder as her body was racked with deep sobs. Sugimi simply cradled her to his body, one strong hand bracing her head against his chest as the other rubbed imaginary patterns along her back.

 

“Shhh. It's okay little one. You will always belong in both eras. There are people both in this time and yours that love you dearly. Don't worry…you will find someone that is worthy of having you…that will want you to be by their side for as long as you let them. Promise me, my daughter that you will not let your heart hide away? Hold it close and let it heal but don't keep it from the light.” The late demon lord murmured into her hair as the miko calmed, her breathing slowing and her tears stopping.

 

She pulled away from him then, to glance up at his face with a quirked eyebrow. “Daughter?”

 

A warm, bright smiled crept over his lips, “Of course! If I had ever had a daughter Kagome, I would have wanted her to be just like you. Since I didn't, I thought maybe I could just borrow you?”

 

Finally, a smile that only Kagome possessed split her face and Sugimi felt such happiness radiate off of the lithe form of the miko that he was both overjoyed and saddened. It was nice to see her smile and be happy…but if it was something so simple that could bring about such a reaction, which meant that she truly felt she was worth very little.

 

“I would love to be your daughter.” She said as she hugged him once more.

 

As the two pulled apart and he stood, only to begin fading away, the Taiyoukai gave her one last smile, “Then call me pappa.” His hand reached out to her and she opened her palm to catch a single dark blue crystal in her hand. “That is where I have stored Sesshoumaru's arm. All you have to do to extract it is focus on it…your power will take you from there.”

 

Then, he was gone and although Kagome was alone once more, she no longer felt quite so lonely. With one more genuine smile towards the stars, the young miko from the future gathered up her things, slipped the marble shaped gem into a hidden pocket in her bag and made her way back to her friends.

 

Tomorrow, she planned to take her new destiny by the horns.

 

~*~