InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ To Bear Witness ❯ Could've, Should've, Would've ( Chapter 35 )

SF: I put up all the reviews I got before this update, so if you're missing, please forgive me. Everyone should be here next week. I don't own Inuyasha. I also don't own Brian McKnight's 'Should've, Would've, Could've'. This song is so great, and if you haven't heard it you should. And if you like 'A Kiss' and 'A Role Reversal', they've both been recently updated.

Oh, and these ~ mean writing, or lyrics as it were.

Chapter Thirty-Five: Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

*4 months later*

Sesshoumaru sat on the piano bench in the front room, his fingers dejectedly grazing the ivory piano keys. His tail trailed along the floor, it twitching miserably every now and again. 'What is wrong with me?' he wondered as he pulled his khaki-clad legs beneath him and played a few bars. 'I shouldn't feel like this. She's nothing but a human, a nuisance. A possible threat to my existence.'

He sighed, his slender fingers pausing on the keys. 'Then why do I miss her…' Sesshoumaru closed the keyboard, his hand resting on the wooden closure. 'I should forget her, but I can't. Why can't I?' He shook his head, the nonsense of it all clouding his mind. Among the clouds was inspiration, and before Sesshoumaru realized it he reached out for a pen and a spare sheet of paper.

'How ironic,' he mused as the words flowed from the pen. 'That before her, I merely played with this but after her it would almost seem as a release…'

~Can you put your bags down? Just wait. Hold on for a minute.~

Sesshoumaru smiled, one of the few since she left. 'Even in this, she influences me.'

~I have to say a couple things before you go even though I know that we're finished.~

"Sesshoumaru-sama?"

Sesshoumaru glanced up, then nodded at Ah and Un as they stood at the end of the piano. "Yes?"

"We…we have a surprise for you."

Sesshoumaru observed them a moment, their nervousness and slight fear infecting their scent like a virus. 'What could they be afraid of?' Sesshoumaru stood, bringing the slip of paper with him as Un and Ah lead him out of the front room and through the hallway.

~I don't want you to leave without knowing just where I'm coming from.~

Ah opened the door, Un stepping aside so Sesshoumaru could enter first before trailing behind him. Sesshoumaru glanced around, then to the ryuu youkai walking ahead of him. "What is so special about the ballroom?"

Ah smiled nervously as he and Un walked to the other side of the room. Together they stood before the large glass windows, one of the windows veiled in ruby red material. "You see my lord, we were hoping to give you this on better terms but…"

"But, unfortunately we can't so-"

"Speed this up," Sesshoumaru growled irritably. "I have more important things to do."

"A-as you w-wish," Uh stuttered, yanking down on a golden cord. Sesshoumaru's eyes widened as the red veil fell to the floor.

~I just want to say I made a big mistake and now I have to face the fact that I…~

There, where but a plain glass window once stood, was a stained glass portrait of himself and Kagome. They were both dressed as they were for Christmas, with himself holding her from behind as she smiled down at him. The sunlight streamed through the colored glass, making his doppelganger's eyes glow golden and made what seemed like a rosy blush on Kagome's cheeks.

~Should've been a better man; The kind of man that you needed.~

"We-" Un stammered, startling Sesshoumaru slightly as he struggled for words. "We all chipped in for this."

"All?"

"Yeah," Ah answered. "Ourselves and Rin. We thought it would make you happy."

~Would've been better off If I'd done right by you.~

Sesshoumaru gazed back at the glass, secretly jealous of his mirror image. 'She would have blushed that way, as she always did whenever I held her. I think that's what I miss about her most.'

~ I could've done this, I could've done that but I know I can't go back.~

He turned to Ah and Un, who waited for his approval or displeasure before turning his back and walking toward the door. 'They…miss her as well. I cannot deny them what little joy this may bring, nor can I punish them for something meant for my good.'

"My lord," Uh called. "What would you have us do?"

Sesshoumaru paused at the door, his head lowered and his eyes downcast.

~Because now it's just too late. I'm saying should've, would've, could've.~

"It may stay."

~I can tell by the look on your face ~

Sango silently glanced over the conference table at her friend, watching as Kagome sighed for the second time during the meeting. Her arms were folded, gently protecting her head from the cold table. Shippou cast an uneasy smile to Sango as Miroku sighed. Shippou wrapped his tail around Kagome's waist. She tensed, and for a moment Shippou smelled a little fear in her scent.

~You're not trying to hear what I'm saying.~

"Kagome, are you ok?"

Kagome sat up, brushing a stray hair from her face as she gave him a weary smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." She stroked his tail a moment, then leaned back against the table. Shippou shrugged and revived his sealing spell as Kaede came into the room.

"You guys have done an exceptional job on your past two missions," she praised as she sat at the head of the table. Kagome sat up and paid attention as Kaede continued. "This past mission was solved quickly and efficiently. As a matter of fact, you all deserve three weeks vacation, with pay!"

"Woo-hoo!" Shippou cheered as Sango and Miroku thanked Kaede.

"Is it mandatory?"

~Maybe you've heard all of this before.~

Kaede blinked, as did the others as they turned to look at Kagome. "Is what mandatory?"

"The vacation? Do we have to?"

Kaede frowned, glancing at Sango before finally addressing Kagome. "It's not, but I strongly recommend it. It can become mandatory if I deem it necessary."

"Oh."

Kaede turned to the others, who shrugged as Kagome's head returned to the safety of her arms. "Well, that's all I wanted. See you guys in three weeks!"

She left as did the others, everyone taking the elevator to the lobby and the street below. Sango watched Kagome walk to her car, then turned to Miroku with a sigh.

"I'm going with Kagome."

"Are you sure?" Miroku questioned. Sango nodded. "Yup. Something's been bothering her, and I want to know what it is."

"Alright, but call me if you need anything."

~This isn't a game that I'm playing.~

"Kagome!"

Kagome glanced, then rolled down her window as Sango ran to her car door. "Hey wait!"

"What is it?" Kagome asked, watching Sango as she struggled to catch her breath. Sango withheld the gasp in her throat, realizing for the first time how offset Kagome really was. Her normally fair skin was now ashen, with the dark circles under her eyes barely hidden by a few drops of concealer.

"I want to talk to you."

Kagome nodded, reaching to turn the ignition. "About?"

"About what's bothering you. You seem so distant, so sad. Please tell me Kagome."

Kagome sighed, glancing up at her friend before snapping on her seat belt. "Nothing's wr-"

"Don't start that!" Sango snapped, grabbing Kagome by the collar and shaking her gently. "We've all been worried sick about you for God knows how long! I'm tired of hearing 'I'm fine' and 'Nothing's wrong' when there is!" Guilt washed over Kagome as tears welled up in Sango's eyes. "I'm tired of my best friend lying to me. Why won't you tell me? Is it something I did?"

"No, it's not you." Kagome sighed, then opened the passenger side door. "Get in. I'll take you home." Sango did so, brushing away a few stray tears as Kagome pulled into traffic. "How about I tell you a story?"

Sango nodded, waving to Miroku as they passed him. Kagome closed her eyes a moment, then stared ahead. "Once there was a happy woman, the heroine of our story."

~This may be the last chance I ever have to talk to you before you go.~

"She was happy because she had everything she could ever want in her life. She was successful in her job, had the love of friends and family, and even worked with her closest friend in the world. Her world was simple, but happy and she loved it the way it was."

Kagome made a left turn at a light, then glanced at Sango before returning to the road ahead of her. "One day, her job gives her an assignment. She meets someone…interesting. Soon, she starts having feelings for him, and thought he might have some for her."

~So I have to say I made a big mistake~

"To everyone else on the outside, he was cold and calculating, but to our heroine he was sweet and rather caring. Our heroine fought the feelings within herself to stay professional with him, to ignore the evidence of her heart slowly giving itself over to him. Eventually, her heart won out and she confessed her love, which he returned.

"One night, his home was raided by a group of youkai. She fought to protect him, but couldn't match up to the forces that were against her.

"It was then that he came to her rescue, not the human she fell in love with, but the western taiyoukai from her childhood fears and dreams."

~And now it's killing me that I~

"No way," Sango gasped, suddenly winded as what Kagome said hit home. "You mean Mr. Takamada…"

"Yup," Kagome nodded, making a right turn and stopping for a red light. "He's that Sesshoumaru."

"Wow."

"Anyway, our heroine of course felt betrayed by his secret, but not because he didn't tell her. It was more that she felt that he didn't trust her enough to tell her. He apologized, and she accepted whole-heartedly."

"It was then that her dearest friend was injured, to a point where some doubted she'd survive. He comforted her, insuring her that her friend would indeed make it through because she was an 'evil bitch with steel for blood'."

Sango giggled, covering her mouth with her hands as Kagome smiled. "He said that?"

Kagome rolled her eyes. "That guy and his sense of humor. Our heroine and her charge were summoned back to headquarters, where she learned another little secret about him."

~Should've been a better man; the kind of man that you needed.~

"It turns out that he was responsible for a virtual doomsday device launched into Earth's atmosphere, and that the only thing standing between the madman that wanted to kill him and the weapon was a tiny pink holographic key around her neck."

"The pink necklace?"

"The pink necklace. Well, our heroine lost her temper on that one. One secret too many and all that rot. She quit speaking to him but for the mission, deciding that when it was over she'd never see him again."

"So imagine her shock when he's taken from her, swept away and the only thing she could do was watch. She's determined then to get him back, forgiving his transgressions in her desperation. Together they defeated their enemy and returned safe and sound."

~Would've been better off if I'd done right by you.~

"Once there, she gives freely her forgiveness, her love, and shares herself with him."

Sango's eyes narrowed in confusion, then widened in understanding. "Kagome. You didn't…"

"She did, and fell asleep in his arms afterward. The next morning, he changed. He demanded that she quit her job, forget her friends and family and stay with him. It was then he admitted that our heroine was nothing more than a trophy, a prized possession and that he held no love for her because 'youkai cannot love', at least not a human like me. He locked our heroine away, sealing her inside his bedroom until his return."

"Oh Kagome," Sango whispered as Kagome parked into a space by Sango's front door. "I'm so sorry."

Kagome forged ahead, ignoring Sango's sentiments. "He left a pair of loyal servants to watch over her, to give her anything but to be let out." She turned to look at Sango, a ghost of a smile on her broken-hearted face.

"But he forgot one thing."

~I could have done this, I could've done that but I know I can't go back.~

Sango blinked, and in an instant Kagome disappeared. Sango looked around the inside of the car, checking the floor of the back seat as a tapping sounded on her window. Sango turned and squeaked as Kagome waved at her from the other side.

"But how?"

Kagome shrugged as she opened Sango's door. "Not important. What is is that our heroine escaped, wearing nothing but one of his shirts. She hasn't heard from or spoken to him since." She lowered her head, her hands covering her face as she began to cry. "How could I have been so stupid?"

"Shhh…" Sango whispered as she reached out for her. "Don't cry."

Kagome sniffed, uncovering her face before grasping Sango's shoulder. "You know what I want you to do?"

"What?"

"I want you to have fun during our vacation. Screw Miroku silly. That kind of thing. But don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

"But Kagom-"

~Because now it's just too late. I'm saying should've, would've, could've.~

Sango blinked, staring wildly ahead as her living room appeared before her. "What on earth…Kagome?" But no one answered, and soon Sango realized that she was alone; Kagome long since gone.

~I should've done my best to love you.~

Sesshoumaru ascended the stairs to his room, his fingertips lightly brushing the railing. He stopped before Kagome's room before going into his own.

~I should've placed no one above you.~

Kagome walked into her apartment, wiping her cheeks dry as she looked around the room. There, on it's usual perch beside her kitchen table, hung Sesshoumaru's shirt. She put it on, holding the cuffs to her nose and inhaling deeply.

~And now it's killing me more than you know; Letting you go.~

He walked in silently, his footsteps coming to a stop at the head of his bed. Above the mahogany headboard were a set of nails; nails that once held a pair of swords. 'Why did they disappear?' he wondered as he touched a nail. 'Were they connected to her somehow…'

~That's why I…~

Kagome leaned against the wall and slid down, her arms encircling her knees the moment she touched the floor. She rested her head on her knees. 'Why do I miss him so much? Why can't I forget him?' She closed her eyes, unconsciously transporting herself to her room at Sesshoumaru's mansion. Her back rested against the door as Sesshoumaru pressed his forehead against it from the other side.

~I know that I should've been a better man; (Could've been a better man to you.)~

'I should have killed her when I had the chance.'

'I should've stuck to protocol.'

~The kind of man that you needed. (Should've been there for you every time you needed me)~

'But if I had, I never would have gotten to know her…'

'If I had, I wouldn't be feeling like this.'

~Would've been better off (Every time you called me) If I'd done right by you. ~

'Would it have been better for me to have stayed home that day?'

'I would have been better off without knowing him.'

~I could've done this, I could've done that but I know I can't go back. (I can't go back)~

'But you cannot change the past.'

'But it's too late for regrets now.'

~Because now it's just too late. (All I know need to know is) I'm saying should've, would've, could've. (Do you love me like you used to?)~

'Did she really love me?'

'Did he ever care about me?'

~I know I should've. I know I would've. (Could've, would've, should've)~

Kagome slumped over, curled into a ball and began to cry, unknowingly transporting herself back to her apartment.

~I know I could have been a better man. I should've, would've, could've… ~

Sesshoumaru turned away from the door, chalking up the brief moment where he caught her scent to memory as he flicked the wadded up piece of paper to the floor and left the room.

----

SF: {::holding on to Silver's tail::} That was so sad!

Silver: {::sighs, then shakes his head at the rest of the girls, who are crying too::} Of course it was sad! You wrote it! (cough-cough)

SF: {::backs up quickly::} Ew! Germs!

Silver: {::bops SF upside the head with his nunchaku::} Quiet, git! (cough) I'm allergic to you, you know.

SF: Whatever. Are you sure you're feeling better?

Silver: I don't know…How about a test? {::grabs SF and puts her in a headlock::} Yup, I must be fine.

SF: Ewwwww! Stop! You're deodorant is getting into my hair!

Silver: {::starts noggie torture::} Say sama!

SF: {::giggling::} No!!!!

Silver: Say Sama!!!

SF: Never, you jerk!

Kagome: {::still sniffing::} Gods, those two are silly. The preview to the next chapter, the recommendation and the response are below.

Chapter Thirty-Six: Inuyasha's Might Makes Right

A call to a friend begins the healing cycle, and how predictable are older brothers anyway?

RECOMMENDATION: Love Potion No. 9 by Tamysan Story ID# 602860

This story is about the results of a love potion that gets out of hand. Sesshoumaru is (unknowingly) betrothed to another noble youkai from another region. He releases the female from her contract, thereby shaming her from her family but leaving her free to pursue her true love. She sees the cold façade of the taiyoukai and decides to do something to change all that. During her attempt to change him, Inuyasha somehow releases a potion that affects everyone but Kagome and Shippo. Madness ensues (especially with a love-crazed Jaken singing sweet words to Sango) but in that madness, something more blossoms between Sesshoumaru and Kagome. This story is really sweet, really funny and is well worth the recommendation. You guys know what to do, so read and review! We authors live off encouragement you know! And if you're looking for something a little more action packed, check out one of her other stories called 'Five Days In Tokyo'!

Responses:

Anastassia: Yup, the sword is gone. I think you'll see it again later in the future.

Sukera, BlueEyedKorean and CarmMeldoll: Thanks a lot! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm updating soon, I promise!

CrazyOldWoman: I don't know how I do it either. One would think that I would've slowed down by now. Thanks for not immediately wanting to kill me over what Sesshoumaru did. I don't exactly know why I didn't make the happy ending then, but it seems to be going over rather well, don't you think? Oh, and I'm still waiting for your update. No pressure, just thought you'd like to know.

Jad: Yeah, he was kinda harsh and dead wrong too, but it had to be done. I do write a few more S/K stories. There are the ones here on Fanfiction, there's 'A Kiss for a Prince' and 'You Don't Know What You Have 'Till It's Gone' on Mediaminer, and 'A Role Reversal' on Sesshoumaru: The Killing Perfection. I've thought about a Kurama/Kagome pairing, but I don't think I'd be very good at it. I want to definitely do a Kouga/Kagome pairing, but I'm not entirely sure about how to go about that either.

Sae-chan: You know, that's a really good idea. I would have never thought of that. It makes perfect sense. Sesshoumaru was very wrong in the last chapter, but I can't help but feel just a little bad for him. I mean, he's virtually miserable without her, but he's too stubborn to admit it.

Nymph Demon: You're the one who wanted them to kiss! No, I'm just playing. Really, don't be sad. {::pets the bunny::} You know, I wasn't going for twisted, but since it is then hey, what the hell?!

InuKagOnly: To be perfectly honest, Sesshoumaru didn't mark Kagome. Do you remember when she was infected in one of the earlier chapters with youkai blood? He bit her then, right? Well, in this story, a bite's just a bite. Don't worry; I've thought of something interesting to replace the effect. Don't feel stupid. He did miss something, he just doesn't know what it is yet.

Ali B: You're not the first person to say that. I don't know about punching him. I've had Kagome do that once already. Sesshou was less than pleased.

BalooFairy: No one likes Sesshou at this moment. I think he's hiding somewhere until next week. Don't worry about the ending. I assure you, Sesshou will somehow fix everything, even if I have to choke him to do it.

MoonliteCrescndo: Yeah, I know. Somehow, I've managed to create this really deep hole, and I only have a few inches of rope to work with. You're moving? From your dorm room to your own apartment or is it something else? I'm trying to save money so I can move, but it's hard. I agree with you. You would think that after spending so much time with Kagome, he would realize that she'd never be happy living inside a cage, even if it's a physical one or an emotional one.

NoLabel: Did I? Well, it seems that I'm wrong. It happens sometimes, thought it's rare. Like blue moons and the like. I know this is going to be a really dumb question, but how is Sesshou a hypocrite? I feel as if I've missed something.

Avonnalay-Ariemay: Well, that's not what it means exactly. It's just evidence of how hurt Kagome is. There may still be a way for Sesshoumaru to get back with her yet.

Inuphoria: Exactly. You sumed it up rather nicely. But you know what they say; where there's a will, there's a way. But who has the will, and what's the way? Inuyasha has some wise words for his older brother in the next chapter.

Raine84: I agree with you. Maybe Sesshou's been afraid until now. Who knows? Perhaps the way to fix things is to not fix them.

Sesshys Hime: Um, Inuyasha's reaction is in the next chapter, along with Sango's reaction. Here. {::passes over a brown paper bag with Dora the Explorer on it:} Breathe in this. My sister can spare one I'm sure.

Gopher2806: You know, that could happen. It could. But I'm not entirely sure that it will. I think Sesshoumaru's given Kagome enough time to cool down. I think it's time for someone to talk so sense into the inu youkai, don't you?

KagomeSirene: Yeah, you're not the only person to say that. Don't worry, another update's on the way!

Cryxxy-Chan: Um, you're kinda right. See, Sesshoumaru already figured that she wasn't a v-card member from, well, dreams and assumption. It's not that he thought that she slept around, he just didn't think. He should have been able to figure it out, but it's kinda hard to when you're centered on yourself.