InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ To Blot out the Sun ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 3 )

“Inuyasha!”

Her excited call tore him from his pleasant dream and elicited an annoyed groan from the hanyou as he stubbornly tried to ignore her. It was the beginning of their fifth day in the tent and entirely too early for any sort of conversation. “Shut up, wench,”

“Inuyasha, look! His ears!” He knew she was bursting with excitement from her voice. While he'd usually be indifferent at best, her timing made her voice grate on his fragile morning nerves. He turned around brusquely and opened his mouth to snap something at her when his eyes found the reason for her early morning intrusion. “They're unfurling!”

His bad temper died then as his eyes locked on the furry appendages in question. One perfect, downy ear stood erect while the other remained stuck to his head. Inuyasha chuckled at the sight. Though he'd never say the word out loud, he couldn't deny that his son looked painfully cute. “When'd this happen?” He asked her as he moved from his bedding over to sit next to them.

“Just now! I just finished burping him and when I brought him back down from my shoulder, it was like this!”

He couldn't help but me amused at her obvious enthusiasm. He watched her as she took the tender flesh between her fingers and rubbed it gently, causing their son to jolt slightly before relaxing again in her arms. It only took a few more seconds of her gentle attention to his ear before the infant was fast asleep again. Looking upon the exchange silently, he couldn't help but wonder what it'd feel like if she rubbed his ears.

It was a momentary lapse, he told himself, as he hurried to shove the appalling idea out of his head with a different topic of conversation. “Have you thought of a name for him yet?”

Kagome looked up at him with a thoughtful expression on her pretty face. “No,” she said solemnly. “I mean, I have thought of names, but none of them seem right for him.”

“How so?”

She shrugged sheepishly and looked down at their son again. “It's like none of the names I'd thought of are good enough anymore. I haven't found one with a meaning that's special enough for him.”

“Fair enough. You still have some time.” He added nonchalantly as he flopped back down on his bedding. “Naming ceremony's not for another three days.”

“Do you have any ideas.” Her question was simply, yet it surprised him.

“Why're you asking me? It's tradition for the mother to name the firstborn.” He told her.

“I know,” she said innocently, “but still. I figured you might want some say in it too.”

“Well thanks, but I've got nothin'.”

“Come on,” she added lightly, “I'm sure you must have some ideas. And who knows, maybe you'll inspire me.”

“Keh.”

“Please?”

“Fine. Botan.”

“I don't like that one.”

“Daisuke.”

“I thought of that one, too, but it didn't seem right.”

“Hideo.”

“Nope.”

“This is stupid.” He grumbled. “Just pick something, will ya?”

“Fine, fine, you don't have to help me,” she finally conceded with a chuckle. “I guess baby names aren't your thing.”

“How perceptive.”

She dropped the subject and they sat in silence for a little while. He was almost asleep again when her voice roused him. “Inuyasha?” She asked softly.

“What?” He snapped, but got up just the same.

“Can you take him?” She asked him weakly, “I'm feeling a little dizzy.”

He turned to her and extended his arms for her to lay the baby in. She looked like hell. In a matter of minutes she'd gone from looking like the picture of health to looking like she was about to faint. “Hey,” he said softly as he adjusted the baby to lie in one arm, “Kagome? What's wrong with you?” He asked her, unable to keep the worry out of his voice.

“I'm ok, I'm just dizzy.” She assured him as she lay back in her bedding and closed her eyes. “Don't worry, I just need to sleep for a little bit.”

“Do you need me to get Kaede?”

“No, no, I'm fine,” she assured him again with a weak smile. “Wake me up if he needs anything.”

He decided to let the whole thing slide in favor of letting her sleep. She did look exhausted. Was it just him, or was she paler than she was just a second ago? Were the dark rings under her eyes suddenly darker, or was he imagining it? With a shake of his head, he made a mental note to tell Kaede about this later before pushing the troubling thoughts from his mind and turning to the infant in his arms.

He was surprised to see that his son now had two ears standing on his head. The little appendages twitched frequently, not yet accustomed to the new level of sensitivity as his son remained still but alert in his arms. The boy's eyes were fixed on his father's face, a pensive look far beyond his five days on his little face. Already he was far more aware than any human babies his age.

“What's wrong with your mom, kid?” He asked the wide-eyed infant who didn't even acknowledge he's spoken. “That taste good?” He continued with a chuckle, watching as his son greedily chewed on his balled fist with a look of complete concentration on his face.

He sat there with him for a while, just watching go through all of his baby activities before finally nodding off again. Fist sucking, foot sucking, thumb sucking, he watched all of it intently, surprised by how enthralled his son was.

Eventually though, Inuyasha was once again overcome by the overriding boredom that had plagued his days in the tent. There was nothing to do, especially when everyone else was asleep. He could either go to sleep or sit there twiddling his thumbs like an idiot until Kagome woke up. “Ironic,” he though to himself, “I though talking to her would be bad. I didn't even stop to think of how bad not talking to her would be.”

Just when he though he could take no more and was on the brink of waking his son up just so he'd have something to do, he heard someone approaching. Thanking whatever gods had taken mercy on him, he bolted to the entrance of the tent and quickly told the serving girl to fetch Kaede before snatching the tray of food she bore and ducking back inside. He was famished.

He wolfed down his food before flopping back onto his bedding lazily to wait for Kaede. The old woman was as slow as a dying turtle, but she'd come eventually. He felt pleasantly drowsy after his meal and was beginning to doze off himself when the entrance flap rustled and the old crone hobbled in. “Hello, Inuyasha,” she greeted patiently, watching him knowingly as he blinked the sleep from his eyes. “You called for me?”

“Yeah. Something's wrong with Kagome. She told me she was dizzy earlier and she's been sleeping ever since. She got all pale and everything.”

“Hmmm,” she remarked as she walked over to the sleeping woman. “How long ago was that?”

“I dunno, an hour or two?”

“Have you noticed any changes in her scent?” She asked him as she felt Kagome's forehead.

“No, why?”

“She is running a little bit of a fever, but that's not all that unusual. It's not high, so an herbal tea should bring it down.” She continued to examine Kagome silently, working patiently as to not wake her.

Inuyasha watched her work quietly for a while, but eventually his impatience got the better of him. “Well?” He finally snapped irritably. “What's wrong with her?”

“It's nothing to worry about, Inuyasha, it's normal. She just needs to feed the baby more often.”

“Why? He's not hungry.” Inuyasha asked, confused as to where this conversation was going.

“For her, Inuyasha, not for him. She needs to get rid of some of her milk in order to feel better. The added milk will do the baby good, so there's no harm done and everyone is healthy.” She explained.

“How is not feeding him enough making her sick?” He continued to pester her.

“Inuyasha, I cannot explain all of these things to you. It's just how it is. When the child wakes up, give him to her to feed, even if he's not crying. She'll be fine in a day or two as long as feedings become more regular. I know your son doesn't require feeding as often as a human baby, but she is human and her body is telling her she needs to feel him more.”

“Keh.” He finally conceded, giving up on understanding the nonsense she was spouting. “Anyways, I'm bored as hell in here. I need something to do.”

Kaede chuckled softly for a moment before addressing him, “I'm sorry, Inuyasha, but you know I can't give you something to do. This is supposed to be a time of contemplation for you two. You should be getting closer to each other and to your son while spending time meditating and praying.”

“I'm a king, not a priest! I can't just be holed up in here with nothing to do for eight days, I'm going stir-crazy!” He barked back crossly.

“Settle down, boy, it's not so bad. Gather your wits and deal with it. You're not the first man to go through this and you certainly won't be the last.” She chided.

“Keh.”

He watched as a serious look overtook Kaede's old face as soon as their conversation took a lapse. “What's up, baba?”

“Nothing you should concern yourself with at this time. Like I told you, this is a time for contemplation.”

“Baba…” he warned.

“Do not concern yourself with it.”

“Fine, I guess you want this to happen the hard way. Kaede, I order you to tell me what you're hiding. I am the king.” He told her smugly. It was an empty order. Both of them knew he'd never do anything to reinforce his power towards her, but nonetheless, it achieved his goal.

“Impudent whelp,” she muttered darkly. “A scout brought back a military note that was found at one of the destroyed Hissite camps. It's probably written in the Hissian language; no one here can read it, so I had a scribe copy it and sent it to your brother's court.”

“Hm,” Inuyasha grunted solemnly. “When did this happen?”

“This morning.”

“You should have told me sooner.” He rebuked.

“You can't read it either, so what good would it have done?” She countered smartly. “I told you, you shouldn't concern yourself with those things now. It has been dealt with. Sessomaru will send back a translated copy. He has many learned men in his court, someone is bound to know the Hissian language.”

“Keh. We'll need to get one of those too. I don't think there's a damn soul in the city that speaks that gibberish.”

“Speaks what?”

Inuyasha turned to see Kagome sleepily rubbing her eyes. “Hissian.” He answered simply.

“I can speak Hissian.” She said.

“What?”

“Yeah, I can speak Hissian.” She repeated. “I grew up near the borderlands.”

“You never told me that.” He rebuked.

“You never asked.” She told him plainly, holding her arms out for the baby.

“Keh.” He handed the kid over and crossed his arms petulantly. “Sneaky bitch.” He muttered.

“What is this all about?” She asked.

When he didn't answer her in favor of preserving his scowl, she turned her questioning eyes to Kaede. “A scout recovered a note from a Hissian camp and brought it back. No one is sure of what it says, so we sent a copy of it to Sessomaru.”

“Let me see it.”

“Keh. No,” The hanyou's irritated voice cut in.

“What do you mean `no'?” Kagome asked him, a wisp of irritation creeping into her own voice at his childishness.

“You stupid or something? I said no. It's none of your damn business anyways.” He shot back angrily.

“What's the matter with you?”

“Just drop it, ok? Just shut up and leave me the fuck alone. I don't need you damn help.” He didn't even understand his anger, but he basked in it nonetheless. Everything about her was bothering him right now and frankly, there was nothing he wanted more than to have her out of his sight.

He could see the raw hurt in her eyes and the way it festered with another emotion he couldn't recall ever seeing in them: anger. He waited for her to say something back to him, waiting for his chance to lash out at her again, but it never came. She just watched him with unwavering, hard eyes.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he was being irrational. She was just trying to help but, damnit, he was fucking tired of being in this stupid tent with her. He was angry and she just happened to be the most convenient target for it. It was wrong, but he couldn't find it within him to care.

Turning away from her with an irritated growl, his eyes landed on the old crone he'd basically forgotten about. Her face was empty as she looked at him with her beedy, dark eye. Their silence was suffocating him, making it difficult to cling to his illogical anger and ignore the fact that he'd just been an ass.

A loud, demanding wail tore through the tension and granted him the reprieve he so desperately required. Flopping down into his bedding grumpily, he wished, not for the first time since their time had began, that the earth would just swallow him.

* * *

It took him all of an hour to realize he'd fucked up, big time, with his little outburst. Kagome had ignored him ever since, instead making small talk with Kaede while she fed the baby and bathed. He's been content enough to sink into the background and let their idle chatter fill the tent, but now that the old woman had gone, he felt like the silence was slowly smothering him.

He snuck another glance at Kagome and found she hadn't moved from where he'd last seen her: sitting up in her bed, looking down at the sleeping infant in her arms. He'd been fed, burped, and changed, so he'd probably be asleep for quite a while, leaving Inuyasha to remedy the situation or face another three days locked in the stifling tension.

“Inuyasha.”

Her voice cut into his thoughts suddenly and breaking the deafening silence. He hesitated only for a moment, searching for something appropriate to say, but before he could get the words out, she spoke again. “I know that you don't love me.”

What exactly was he supposed to say to that? “You're right, I don't”? Or maybe he should lie to make her feel better with an “I'm just not good with words”? He didn't know which would be appropriate, so he remained silent and hoped she'd take his silence as a sign to continue.

“I know that. I've always known that. I've always stayed out of your life and let you do what you want, and I'll continue to do that, but I need you to make me a promise.”

She hadn't even looked up at him while she spoke; her eyes still glued to the slumbering baby she held. “What is it?” He asked her, not really sure he wanted to hear what she'd ask him for but figuring he had to at least say something.

Her eyes finally met his as her voice once again reached him, measured and perfectly clear, “I don't want Kikyou around him. Whether you decide to marry her in the future or not, I don't want her near the baby.”

Never before had he seen the stony intensity he saw in her eyes now or heard her speak so directly. They'd never talked about Kikyou before. Since he'd brought her back with him, her name had never been mentioned between them. She'd become a phantom both were thinking of but neither mentioned. Now that it had been uttered, by Kagome of all people, he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. He couldn't deny her this, but he couldn't keep the rebellion out of his voice as he challenged her. “And if I don't?”

“Then I'll go to the council.” She replied back stonily, her gaze never wavering. It wasn't a threat, rather it was simply a statement of fact.

“You'd go over my head and take me before the council?” He could barely believe what he was hearing. Was this really his wife? Kagome?

“You may be the king, Inuyasha, but he is my son and there is nothing I won't do to protect him.” She told him bluntly, ”I'm asking you because I don't want to cause trouble, but if you don't agree, then we can do this the hard way too. I will not back down.” Her voice was firm, but not angry. She looked at him, patiently waiting for his reply without a hint of aggression in her countenance.

He wasn't sure he knew the woman in front of him. Where had the soft-spoken, spineless woman he'd married? Very few people dared stand up to him, to challenge him so directly and with so much conviction, yet without resorting to the types of feminine hysteria he'd heard horror stories about. He should be angry with her, feel insulted or something similar, but instead, he felt a discreet feeling of pride bloom in his chest as he watched her stand up to him without losing her cool. “Fine.”

“You promise me?”

“I promise she'll never come near him.” He assured her. It's not like he could truly deny her what she was asking. The law was on her side, and he knew the council would side with her. Until his hanyou children reached the age when the phases of the moon began to affect them consistently, they were solely under their mother's rule. Though the council lacked the power to force him to abide by its decision, it wouldn't sit well with the populace to perceive their king as disregarding tradition. She'd get her way in any case, so he didn't even see the point in putting up a fight.

“Thank you.” She told him, her eyes loosing the hardened edge they'd held before. “She can come to the naming ceremony if she wants. She is a citizen here and it wouldn't be right to shun her from such a public event. I'm alright with her being there as long as she stays away afterwards.”

For the life of him, he couldn't understand this woman. She'd be well within her rights to demand Kikyou be excluded, be publically shamed for not being allowed to participate in the festivities, and yet instead, she was assuring him she'd allow it. He didn't know whether he thought her magnanimous or stupid. “Fine.” He repeated.

He'd learned the hard way that sometimes, saying less was best. When before he would have given anything to hear their conversation fill the silence, now he wanted nothing more than to have some space. He wasn't angry with her like he'd been before, but her recent show of both indomitable courage and generosity troubled him.

He'd thought her weak, yet she had apparently gone through a hellish birth and recovery period and never once complained. He'd thought her spineless, yet she'd stood up to him with no hesitation. It bothered him to consider that, perhaps, he didn't actually know her like he though he did. He thought her simple-minded, yet apparently she spoke several languages and had more education than he'd imagined. He'd taken her soft-spoken, gentle nature as a sign of inferiority, of womanly incompetence, yet in the past hour, she'd clearly shown him that she was neither inferior nor incompetent. “You should rest.” He told her finally, hoping she'd fall asleep and stop looking at him with her seemingly omniscient blue eyes.

“Alright,” she conceded. She laid their son gently in his bassinette and quickly fell into a peaceful slumber, leaving Inuyasha alone with only the dizzying thought in his head for company.

He couldn't recall a time when he'd ever felt so unsure. What he needed now was a talk with Miroku. The lecher would know what to make of this. But how in the seven hells was he supposed to talk to him when he was supposed to be in seclusion?

* * *

“Pssst! Inuyasha?” Came the monk's voice through the thick fabric of the tent wall.

“Gods, am I happy to hear from you monk.” Inuyasha felt like a pansy, sneaking around in the middle of the night to talk to Miroku, but it was the best he could come up with. When the maid had come with their evening meal, he'd ordered her to bring him a writing kit and to keep her mouth shut. Now, hours later, he was certain the message had been delivered as intended. “I need your help.”

“What's going on?” The monk questioned him.

“Come to the door flap.” Inuyasha instructed him. When he heard the monk settle down by the entrance, he reached for the flap and pried it open to reveal Miroku dressed in black robes he figured were for camouflage.

“You do realize Kaede would have our asses if she found out?”

“Can it, monk, I need your help.”

“And Kagome?”

“Asleep.” Inuyasha responded, “It's actually about her. What I need your help on.”

“What happened?”

Inuyasha spoke quickly, the words spilling from his lips in a frenzied rush. Miroku listened to him patiently until everything had been said and Inuyasha sat, the picture of miserable confusion, waiting for him to speak. “Well?” He pushed.

“Well what? What exactly do you want me to say?” Miroku asked him.

“What do I do?”

“About what?” The monk questioned again.

“About Kagome!” Inuyasha hissed back, getting annoyed at how useless the monk was turning out to be.

“Inuyasha, listen to yourself.” Miroku ordered. “Really now, I hate to tell you “I told you so” but, well, I did. It's about time you realized your were wrong about her.”

“Hey! I never said anything about being wrong!” Inuyasha grouched.

“Stop being a child, Inuyasha.” The monk scolded. “From what I gathered from your story, it would seem that you're starting to see Kagome in a new light. That's not a bad thing.”

“What am I supposed to do? I… I don't know how I'm supposed to act now. Things are…different. She's not what I thought and I don't know what to do. It's like she's a different person!”

“Shhh! Be quiet, idiot, or she'll wake up.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, suddenly feeling very embarrassed. Maybe he shouldn't have confided in the monk.

“Inuyasha, I understand that realizing all of this has probably got you uncomfortable, but really, there really isn't anything I can tell you to make you feel better.”

“Why the hell not? You're a monk, aren't you? All filled with wisdom and shit?”

“This is my wisdom. This is something you've got to work through on your own. Obviously the dynamic between you two has changed. You have a child now and you've got to find a new balance you both can live with. I can't tell you where that is.”

“Fuck it,” Inuyasha grumbled.

They sat in silence for a while as Inuyasha thought through everything the monk had said and tried to figure out how exactly he was supposed to proceed in trying to find this “new balance”. He wasn't really aware that they'd had a balance before, but apparently, they did and it was all thrown off now, leaving him to find a new one. “Should I apologize?”

“That depends.” Miroku answered him.

“Cut the cryptic shit, Miroku,” the irritated hanyou snapped, “what the fuck does it depend on?”

“It depends on whether or not you're sincerely sorry.” Replied Miroku. “Kagome is a smart woman. She'd see through a fake apology, so it's best you do it honestly or not at all.”

“Keh.”

“Oh for the love of the Gods, Inuyasha, stop sulking!”

“I'm not sulking!” Inuyasha asserted vehemently while trying to keep himself from pouting. He'd had enough with being wrong today, so he refused to give the monk the satisfaction of scolding him like a child.

“Of course not.” Miroku teased with a knowing smile. “King's doing pout, do they Inuyasha.”

“Can it.”

“Are you going to apologize?” The monk asked gently.

“I was a real ass this morning and I do feel bad about it but…”

“But what?”

“Well, this isn't exactly something I do everyday!” Inuyasha snapped at him. “I don't apologize. How exactly am I supposed to go about it?”

“Just do what feels natural, Inuyasha,” Miroku instructed him patiently, “It's not about having an elaborate speech or setup. Just be honest and I'm sure she'll appreciate it.”

“You're no fucking help.”

“Really? Then why is it you always ask me for help?”

“Keh. Go back home monk. I'll see you in a few days.” Inuyasha snorted dismissively, shutting the tent flap in the monk's face as though he were trying to smother the smug look on his face. “Goodnight.”

* * *

He slept little that night. Though their son had been mercifully asleep during his chat with Miroku, the little one had other ideas for the rest of the night. He cried and fussed for what felt like an eternity, neither hungry nor in need of changing, and made sure both of his parents knew who exactly was the boss of this household.

Now, well after dawn, the tiny noisemaker had decided he was hungry and, after feeding vigorously and causing his mother to hiss in discomfort, he'd finally settled down to sleep. Their ears were still ringing when Inuyasha decided to speak. “I'm sorry,” he mumbled.

“Hmm?” Kagome inquired sleepily, her eyes half closed as she finally lay back in her bedding.

“I said I was sorry,” He repeated, louder this time and trying his hardest not to sound irritated at having to repeat himself, reminding himself that she was human and lacked his super refined sense of hearing.

Suddenly, she was awake and sitting up, her bottomless blue eyes searching his face for any signs of insincerity. Finding none, her face took on a look of complete confusion before she spoke. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Keh, I feel fine! What, do you think me incapable of apologizing?” He asked her, feeling his cheeks color under her scrutiny.

“I'm sorry, I just wasn't…expecting one, I guess.” She amended quickly. She looked intently at him for another few seconds before offering him a tentative smile he found himself returning.

“So we're ok?”

“Yeah,” she answered softly. “Thank you.”

“Keh.” He'd never admit it out loud, but he was thankful she'd made it easy. He didn't feel as silly as he imagined he would and the peaceful silence that readily replaced the awkward tension they'd endure before made it worthwhile.

“I think I'm going to take a nap.” She told him with a sleepy smile as she lay down and snuggled into her pillow. “Your son has quite the set of lungs, doesn't he?”

“Definitely my kid.” He responded with a smirk. “I think I'm going to do the same, at least till he decides it's time to get up again.”

“M'kay.” She added drowsily. “G'night.”

“Night, wench.”

* * *