InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ To Catch an Assasin ❯ Hello, state your buisness and who'd you'd like killed. ( Chapter 2 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

0_0 I know you're out there…o_0 I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! SO REVIEW DOGONEIT!! OR I SHALL…UH, NOT TYPE ANYMORE FABULOUS STORIES!!As if that's a bad thing. I hate you sometimes…Anywho, I shall type this chapter as fast as I can that way start chappie tres! D.C wanna say anything? No. Oh-kay…C.F? I am fine! Well this is odd; Benjy? …Who is my narrator not a good/bad side of mine! Puh-lease I have enough with D.C! (Yes! I would like to announce my undying love for Violet hahahah aiiaiaiiaia!) 00…-- sigh C.F I thought you hid the Dr.Pib! I did! Grrr-eat I have a sugar high narrator…I am so jealous! Ahem! Oh yeah! Now along with story!

Chapter 2!

Hello, this is Hanyou's contactor speaking…

Ring…Ring…Ri-click

“Hello, this is Hanyou's contactor speaking!” A cheerful, masculine voice answered the phone, he continued with his memorized introduction,” State your name and the person you'd like murdered!” He stated with such air of triviality that it seemed he was taking orders for a customer at WacDonalds, not an assassination.

“Naraku—“a frigid voice answered. “And I actually would like a person found—“

“I am sorry Mr. Naraku,' the contactor interrupted, remorseless, “But the person you want to hire is an as-sas-sin,” he drawled out the syllables,”…or is that ass-as-sin? He is an ass though, so I guess the latter would deem more fit for him, hmmm toughie. Aah, I'll look that up later.”

“….” (A/N: Puzzled silence in the other end…OOoooOOOoh Naraku is dumb-founded speechless for once! Boo-yea-OW! Get on with the damn story!)

“Anywho, Hanyou is not an investigator. He finds people; and kills `em!” The contactor extended with glee. “If you want to find someone I'd suggest for you to hire a private investigator, notify the police, or…OH! You can put up flyers in that missing person's bulletin at Wal-Mart! I don't know how that organization works but I heard they've found like, hundreds of missing people. I don't know if they are alive or dead, but you didn't say if you-“

Finally, Naraku interrupted the contactor's ongoing tangent with coolness, albeit a smidge of impatience,”Yes, I am aware of the multiple ways I can find a missing person, and I am confident the person I want found is alive; but I doubt even Wal-Mart can help me or the authorities, for that matter…I need someone with more expertise and efficiency.”

There was blessed silence on the other line, then—“I'm listening.

Later:

After months of searching the breadth of America and clever plotting, the assassination was finally complete.

Most cases took less time, but the sleazy father he was hired to kill managed to escape in the first assassination attempt (damn helicopters); and like any coward he went into hiding. Of course, Hanyou found him in some Podunk town in Indiana after a couple weeks. Damn bastard deserved to die…Anyone who would try to kill his own wife for the sole purpose to get his greedy hands on her inherency money just to pay off the lone sharks he's indebted too deserves to rot in hell. Like many of his cases…It was a murder, but not a crime (A/N: Line borrowed from the movie Chicago! I wuv that movie! It's all cool and bad-ass and…00 ahem on with ze story!). Now it was good to return to Kyoto...Home sweet home.

He parked his red Viper (A/N: I want one of those drools dork) on the driveway, took his duffel bag and supplies from the trunk and made his way to his mediocre brown-bricked house. There is no place like home he mused. As soon as he opened the door he was bombarded…There was no escape from the verbal tirade.

“It's about time Inuyasha!” A voice rang out from the darkness. ”Do you have any idea how long you took? Do you think that I enjoy house-sitting, or do you the great personal sacrifice being your co-conspirator is for moi? Right now I could be with a lovely woman enjoying dinner or her…lovely assets. I could be in the fires of passion, at the apex of sexual desire, conceiving my child; or better yet…Sigh, I can be with my dearest Sango, aaahh! But, noooo I don't think you realize that…”

Inuyasha inwardly groaned,”Hi Miroku, missed ya too; I brought you that souvenir you wanted from America; if you still want it shut up!” He tried to evade.

But to no avail…”—I like to think myself as the Johnny Dep or sex symbol, if you will, of this generation. So you can imagine the number of women I've had to put down and say no too…” The dam was broken and the babble surged relentless.

Inuyasha decided to use a more tactical approach towards the rambling idiot; he ignored hi, simple, yet effective. (D.C/N: Hmmm, Miroku reminds me of someone… Really? Who?...0 HEY!).Once his duffel bag and supplies were in their designated place, AKA the floor and jammed in the closet, Inuyasha made a beeline towards the fridge. “Any messages?” He asked as he opened the fridge, it was—Empty.

“For you? Pfft, as if! For Hanyou? Plenty!” went the reply.

“How many?” Inuyasha inquired as he opened the freezer—Empty…Even the ice cube trays.

“You've accumulated about one hundred seventy five requests for hire. Of course, most of them were from untrustworthy and shady people or the usual, do-in-my-grandma/mom/dad/child/etcetera-for-I-can-collect-the-inusrance-mon ey requests,' Miroku said with evident disgust.

“Are there any worth the pursuit?” Inuyasha ruffed as stomped towards the cupboards, his stomach growled and his temple vein pulsed with apparent irritation of the lack of food in his house. Cupboard #1: Empty! (pulse)

“Oh, sure we got a few—“

Cupboard #2-Nada (Pulse-Pulse) (A/N: We got Nada…three!)

“—I have to check if they are liable and for a worthy cause though—“

Cupboard #3- Zilch (Pulse-Pulse-PULSE-temperature rising)

“—But the one I am positive you'll want to pursue was a request made not to long ago—“ the man went on unaware of the very hungry and very irritated hanyou seething in the kitchen.

Microwave—Cup of Ramen! Grinning he picked up the weightless cup. He frowned, “wait a minute…” He peeked inside the cup, it was—EMPTY! (Beep BEEP! ABORT, ABORT PISSED OFF HALF DEMON RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!)

“I believe that you will take this case, though it is a bit different—“

“WHERE THE HELL IS MY FOOD!”An angry voice exploded from the kitchen with some colorful four-lettered expletives.

“Well I ate it of…” the pompous admission trailed away as Miroku came face to face with a hot tempered hanyou, who, by the way, was cracking his knuckles in a threatening manner. Miroku gulped,” Uhhh, er, evil monkies! Yes evil monkies stole it all!” He lied lamely, as he backed away slowly—very, very slowly.

“Try again.” Inuyasha growled lethally, slowly advancing toward his quarry.

An oh-shit smile crept up his face as he vigorously thought for a brilliant lie…Eureka! “Midgets! Hungry, rabid, escaped-from-a-freak-show midgets crashed in and stole the food! I only-Ack!” Miroku didn't finish his “brilliant” lie because of the steel grip that was squishing his trachea.

“Ack! Can't—Gasp—Breathe—Wheeze!”

“That's the point!” Inuyasha emphasized with a shake. “Any last words?” he growled sadistically.

“Next—case—involves—Shikon—Jewe l” Miroku barely gasped out as he dramatically feigned dying by lolling his head limply, suck his tongue out, and rolled his eyes.

Unfortunately, Inuyasha abruptly released him as his mind registered the last statement; “OW!” Miroku cried as he impacted the floor. He was instantly yanked back up and Inuyasha commenced shaking Miroku, none too gently.

“Where? What? Who? Details Miro!” Inuyasha shook eagerly.

“S-stop shaking meee and i-I'll tell ya'!”

Immediately the shaking stopped,” So this is how shaken up coke bottles feel! I now have a deep sympathy for them,” He said dizzily.

“Miroku…” Inuyasha drawled impatiently.

“Naraku is the client,” a serious Miroku informed,' all you have to do is find someone, find out everything about her, give Naraku the info and he will give you some valuable information on the Shikon Jewel and two million dollars. Now, you can take this job—“

“I'll do it.'

“But we haven't checked if he is trustworthy or if the person wants to be fo—“

Miroku started.

“I'll do it.' Inuyasha said with such finality, that it left no room for argument. Miroku nodded his head in acquiesce. Besides, he knew the importance this information was for Inuyasha.

“So who do I have find?” Inuyasha asked dispelling the silence.

Miroku grinned.

Oh no, Inuyasha thought with a foreboding feeling, not thegrin…(A/N: Tum-tum-tuuumm)

“Hee-hee.”

Oh crap! Not the hee-hee! (A/N: Double tum-tum-tuummm!) Inuyasha waited for the inevitable.

“Well you see there is a catch.” Miroku began.

Ah, shit! Not the Catch!

(Elvia sighs with relief) Sigh, I feel soooo much better with this chapter. As do I! Yaaay, finally the perfectionist in me is satisfied! ( Perfectionist?) Have you seen your backpack Miss. Perfectionist? (Elvia plays with her fingers) --; Okay I may not be the cleanest person in the universe… That's an understatement. But I really despise when I write a chapter and I get a feeling that I could have done better; besides, I had misspelling errors! Anywho, I hope this chapter is better and much more informative and entertaining! I shall start typing shall start with chapter three; yaaay I am really getting into this, I just hope I don't get writers block. Ag, knock on wood! Anywho, Any advice, compliments, flames, whatever just click the pwetty button that's labeled submit review! I'm starting to think our story may not be doing so well… Now that I think about it, this I probably Karma getting back at me for all the times I never submitted a review! Waaaaahhh whyyyy meeee! I've already changed my ways! I'll review when I read other people's fanfics I promise! (Who are you talking to?) Karma. Dumb ass…Hee-hee, shut-up! I just hope that people are enjoying this story! Well,

Ciao!

Ja-ne!

……

(BYE!) ----- this is Benjy (BENJAMIN MY NAME IS BENJAMIN!) Oh, yeah well this is Ben-Ben (ARGH!) my narrator; he is not a good or bad side…he just narrates! (And look after you! Sigh, I don't get paid enough!) You know you wuv me! (NO I DO NOT!) Jeez, you get temperamental once you get your Dr.Pib hangover! (Shut it!) See! No respect! Oh yeah, bye byez all you lovely wonderful people!…hee-hee I managed to type that with a straight face, haha lovely people…riiight.Anywho, adios!